Through the Cavern

Nervous, Ricky stamped out his smoke and stepped out from under the tree "H-hello? I'm REALLY sorry, whoever you-WOAH!!!" A cyan blue Pegasus with a rainbow coloured mane fell where he just stood.

"Owwww...."She groaned, rubbing her head "What kind of an idiot has a campfire in their backyard?!"

"Um...every idiot from my world?" Ricky asked helpfully.

"Very funny. Listen, Twilight, I...YAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" The Pegasus leaped into the air and backed up about five feet or so "W-w-w-what the hay are you?!"

"Oh, great..." Ricky sighed again, and spoke quickly and abruptly this time "Ricky. Human, came through a funky portal. Staying here until I can figure out just what the hell is supposed to be going on. Already sent a letter to the Princess." He pulled out another smoke and lit it.

"Wait...so you were the one who lit the fire under me and woke me up?! Not cool, dude! Nopony smokes out Rainbow Dash!" She struck a heroic pose, and Ricky just had to laugh at this "Hey, what's so funny?" Rainbow asked, annoyed at his reaction.

"I went to school with a dude just like you. He always had to be the best at everything, but turned into a complete girl at the tiniest, most unexpected little things." Ricky grinned "And by the way, this is just a cigarette. If I wanted to light a fire under you, you would be able to tell."

"Huh." Rainbow landed, but still eyed him warily "So...you said you were...a human?"

"Yep. Apparently, we're extinct or something." Ricky shrugged.

"Well, you guys still have a huge cult following. I mean, some of the movies made about you alone!"

"Yeah, well we...wait, did you say you have movies about humans?!" Ricky stared, incredulous "You mean like, documentaries or something?"

"Try monster movies. Trust me, you haven't seen anything until you've watched 'Human From the Everfree Forest'. Modern classic, I'd say." Rainbow got doe-eyed momentarily, but quickly shook it off.

"Wow...a pony fan-girl. Now I've seen everything."

"Hey! I'm no fan-girl!" Rainbow shouted, blushing. But at that exact moment, Twilight came outside.

"Oh! Rainbow Dash! I thought I heard you shouting out here. I see you've met Ricky already. No doubt going all fan-girl like you do at those ridiculous movies you and Lyra enjoy." Twilight said innocently. Rainbow turned crimson at this.

"I...er...uh...that its...I'm gonna go see if Pinkie Pie needs any help!!" Rainbow zoomed off, clearly humiliated.

"What does she mean, 'help Pinkie Pie'? Is that that crazy one that freaked out at the sight of me?" Ricky asked, confused.

"Did she have an atrociously poofy mane?" Rarity joined them, Applejack and the fillies close behind.

"I don't know about atrocious, but it was pretty poofy." Ricky agreed, taking a drag.

"You've met Pinkie Pie, alright. Let's just say, brace yourself for tonight." Applejack said forebodingly, as if recalling a haunting memory.

"Wait...what do you mean by that?!" Ricky was becoming increasingly afraid.

"Oh, darling, do relax!" Rarity said sympathetically "The journey must have tired you out so much..." Suddenly, she gasped "I-DEE-AAAAAAHHHH!!!!" she sang. Applejack groaned at this.

"Why don't Twilight and I take this poor boy to the spa for the afternoon? It'll give him a chance to mingle with some of our locals, PLUS with Twilight's presence..." She looked over at her friend expectantly.

"...that with their Princess present, they'll have to see that he's alright! Rarity, that's genius!" Twilight said happily "Ricky, what do you say?"

"Ugh....getting pampered and fawned over and told that I really need to start clipping my nails...can I get high first?" Ricky crossed his fingers.

"If you think it'll help...whatever 'getting high' is..."

"Then, I'm in." Ricky smiled. Rarity cheered and danced around the room, then regained her composure "Oh...terribly sorry." she blushed.

"Uh...scuse me?" Applejack waved her hoof "What am I, diced apples?"

"Oh, right...OH! You can take the girls for a bit!" Twilight said helpfully.

"Sure, I'd be happy to!" Applejack said sarcastically, and as she led the fillies past Ricky, she whispered to him "I know exactly what you mean by 'getting high', and I would LOVE to take you up on that later."

"Wait...do you mean that you...?" Ricky was confused. Applejack winked at him "Oh, we have a different way of describing it here." She left the palace with the girls in tow, and Ricky shook his head in amazement. He was getting used to this place surprisingly quickly.

"Wow..."

***

"So, should I remember anything about this spa? Any crazy rules?" Ricky strolled along, taking note of everypony that he saw. They seemed to be acting friendlier towards him. Word must have gotten around that he was okay.

"Rules...?" Twilight racked her brain "Gosh, I really don't know. I don't go to the spa too often, you see."

"Twilight, I am APPALLED at you!" Rarity huffed "I would imagine that a pony of your intelligence would be aware of such things!"

"Sorry..." Twilight rolled her eyes.

"Right, so you must never raise your voice, Ricky. Also, they do not appreciate drama, not in the slightest! They will NEVER stand for anypony eating in the mud baths, and most importantly...ugh, I do NOT enjoy saying the word...no performing a certain indecent act in the Jacuzzi!" Rarity shuddered at the thought.

Ricky thought for a moment, then it hit him "So...no farting in the tub?"

Rarity gasped and turned beet red at his words, while Twilight started busting a gut.\

"Why, Ricky! I...I NEVER!!" Rarity stammered, clearly disgusted at what he said.

"Sorry, Rarity, I-" Ricky began, but Twilight waved him off "Forget her, Ricky. She'll never get used to that sort of thing. Anyway, here we are!"

They approached the large, double doors. Ricky went to open them, but they opened automatically.

"Oh, your highness!" Two Earth ponies who appeared to be twins entered the room. They had matching hairstyles and smocks, but one was blue and the other pink. Strangely enough, their hair colour was the same colour as the other's body.

"Aloe, Lotus, how are you? Now, I don't want you girls to be alarmed, but..."

"Oh, this must be the human!" The spa ponies walked up to Ricky, smiling politely "We heard about him through Pinkie Pie, of course." The blue one said.

"And of course, if he is a guest of the princess, then he is a friend in our books. Now, would you like the usual package, your highness?"

"No, I think we'll all have the deluxe today. My treat." Twilight turned to Ricky "Is there anything in particular you'd like to start with?"

"Gosh, I really don't know...I guess...a massage, maybe? Those caves were pretty hard to get to." Ricky shrugged.

"Very well." Lotus sighed and walked over to an intercom "One for a mas-"

CRASH!!!!!!

"YEAH!!!!!!" A ripped white Pegasus with shockingly tiny wings burst through the wall "WHO'S READY TO GET LOOSE??!!!"

"Uh...maybe I'd better start with..."

"TOO LATE!!!!!" The Schwarzenegger Pegasus threw Ricky across his back and left through the hole he made.

Aloe blushed "Sorry, your highness, Miss Rarity. We've been trying to get him to stop that.

"Maybe you ought to try harder."

***

"Wow, I have to say, that Bulk Biceps is a magician. I didn't know my back was so screwed up." Ricky lit a smoke as they made their way back to the castle.

"Well, if you can get past the macho stuff, he's a pretty nice guy." Twilight had gotten her mane styled in an 80's fashion, which Ricky felt suited her.

"Yeah, I'm meeting him for a cider tomorrow. I told him about some of the body-building competitions we had back in our world."

"I personally consider him to be a bit of a brute." Rarity huffed. Twilight groaned "Rarity, would you just let it got already? It was an accident, and you know it."

"Still, that's no excuse for spilling hoof-polish remover on a lady's robe."

They turned onto the path for the castle, and Twilight quickened her pace "You two wait in the hall, I'm gonna go check on Spike."

She entered the castle, Rarity and Ricky close behind.

"SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"