Chapters Caring For A Certain Stallion
It was near the end of applebucking season, and there was a chill in the air. If you listen to Sweet Apple Acres, you would hear Granny Smith snoring, Apple Bloom and her friends getting into some kind of trouble, and apple-trees being bucked, by Big Macintosh and Applejack. Now Big Macintosh, he was not that engaged with applebucking. He had recently taken a liking to his little sister Applejack's friend, Fluttershy. He had only seen her twice, once when dropping his little sister off at the train station to visit her cousin Braeburn, the other time being when helping decorate the barn for another of his little sister's friend's birthday party. Pinkie Pie, he was pretty sure.
Caring For A Certain Stallion
*Beep* *Beep*
The cold, methodic beep was both a blessing and a curse to her. It seemed to attempt to abate her fears, and exasperate them at the same time. Each beep saying he was alive, resting. Each beep reminding her that he was in there.
Caring For A Certain Stallion
Make sure each is center on top of the other, no leaning—leaning takes up space—we can’t afford leaning. We can’t afford wasted space.
It wasn’t very easy, with nopony up top to help him put the barrel up, but he would manage. Fluttershy may have volunteered, but he wasn’t about to take rude advantage of that fact. Her just being there was all the help he…
Wait, where the hay was she?
Big Macintosh made a quick turnabout, trying to locate the mare, and found she was nowhere within the cellar. After choking on the stirred up dust, he realized that she could have very easily just flown out of the musty room for some cleaner air, or something like that.
He set the last of the barrels from the cart onto the stack, and tied off the corner, making sure they wouldn’t just roll off. As he moved towards the cart, he could hear something off in the distance. A small grunt, or something? No, now it was constant. It sounded almost like…
A shrill cry pierced Big Macintosh’s thoughts, as he immediately saw what was causing the noise: Fluttershy had been pulling the cart. Now it was pushing her.
No time to think. Just act.
Within moments, Big Macintosh found himself jammed in between the heavily loaded cart, and the even heavier wall, with both leaning on his sides, squeezing the breath out of him. If it had been Fluttershy…
Oh Celestia—she’s bleeding.
Big Macintosh attempted to form some words in his mouth, but none left it. When he saw the pony walking down the ramp, he panicked. It was too soon. For him, for her. PawPaw Smith wasn’t about to take either of them away.
Not now.
As Big Macintosh began to struggle desperately to free himself from the rubble, PawPaw looked between the two injured ponies before him.
“Such a shame,” he remarked, shaking his head, “too early fer’ her.”
He slowly strolled over to her, and leaned down to whisper something in her ear.
No! Not her, not today!
The more he thought about PawPaw taking Fluttershy away, the more Big Macintosh could feel the wreckage shift. He soon shifted it enough to crawl towards Fluttershy’s unconscious body, ready to stop PawPaw by whatever means necessary.
After crawling to her side, Big Macintosh sat on his flanks to look PawPaw Smith in the eye. Instead of finding the flinty, truth-gleaming stare Big Macintosh had been expecting from PawPaw, instead he was met with an amiable gaze.
“Rest, son. Ya deserve it.”
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“By the time they got me outa that jar, PawPaw was redder than Big Macintosh!” Applejack concluded her foalhood story of getting her head stuck in an applesauce jar.
“Granted, Ah don’ remember it, so it’s not as funny the way Ah tell it like how Big Macintosh tells it.” Applejack chuckled uneasily, becoming all the more uncomfortably aware that her attempts to cheer up Fluttershy were falling completely flat.
“Oh no, I thought it was quite… funny.” Fluttershy shook her head, laughing weakly.
“Yeah… Ah guess it ain’t helpin’ you anymore than it is me.”
As if cued by Fluttershy’s yawn, Nurse Redheart stepped in to announce that visiting hours were over.
“Well, sugarcube, Ah guess that means ta get goin’ for me. Tomorrow Ah’ll be cleaning up the cellar, so Ah won’t get here ‘til 3. That all right with you?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“All right,” Applejack hopped down from her stool and headed towards the door, “then Ah’ll see you tomorrow. Make sure to get plenty of sleep, all right?”
He looked like he always did: with a solemn, ever-thinking flat face. That always mysterious face. How Applejack could stand looking at that face every day, and not want to become entranced by him was beyond her. But, now, she didn’t deserve it. She just didn’t. Applejack tried to make it sound like nopony blamed her, but… she did.And he would .
Caring For A Certain Stallion
“Thank ya kindly fer’ the offer, but we can barely afford the expenses as is, an’ Ah’ve got to be back on the farm by the crack of dawn to get all the chores done.”
Applejack gave the receptionist another tired smile before heading towards the room her brother and Fluttershy were currently in. Over the past two days, she had been juggling the duties of the farm, taking care of Applebloom and Granny Smith, and checking in on Big Macintosh and Fluttershy. Since this whole mess began, she had gotten… oh, hay, who knew how many hours she had worked into the night? Enough to have the receptionist notice, that much was apparent. After her debacle with Applebucking season, the entire town seemed wary of when she was growing fatigued.
As she approached the room, she noticed that the door was ajar, but the lights were still off.
Maybe a doctor just walked in to check on them, and forgot the door…?
Careful not to make the door creak too much, she snuck into the room, and turned on the sleeper lights, and headed towards her brother’s bed.
Well, he’s still hasn’t woken up yet, that’s for sure.
If you are reading this, then I’m already long gone. There are enough bits in this sack to cover my medical expenses, Big Macintosh’s, and anything else I could gather together. I know it won’t make up for the horrible, stupid pony I was, and nothing could ever change that fact. Tell the others that I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve cause them, and please, don’t come after me.
“Which reminds me, when are you getting back? You sorta haven’t said that yet.” At this point, her agitation from being woken up so early was wearing off, allowing her to finally bring Fluttershy’s excessive awkwardness into focus.
“Okay, but make sure to write, all right?”
“Oh… All right.” As she bit the tears back, Fluttershy could feel her face heating up more, to the point she feel herself shake.
As she saw her friend begin to stare at the knot in the wooden floor as though it had all the answers to life in it, Rainbow was finally able to click the pieces together.
“Ya know, I tried it too, but even I wasn’t fast enough.”
“What? I don’t understand what you—“
“Remember when Discord was still loose, and I turned into that complete and total jerk, totally trying to ditch you guys?”
Fluttershy attempted to choke out a yes, but the knot in her throat allowed only a nod.
“The reason I was running was because I saw you guys as somepony else’s problem—deep in my gut-- even with Discord’s compulsion-- I knew I was supposed to be helping you.”
“Rainbow, I…”
“Even though I wanted to, I couldn’t help you guys. It gave me this crappy feeling in my gut—and I think I can relate to how you’re feeling. You feel this is your fault, and there’s nothing you can do to change it.”
She just couldn’t take it anymore. Rainbow was dead on, saying everything she couldn’t. It was just…
“Just take as much time as you need.”
Author's Note:
Caring For A Certain Stallion
An hour ago, Fluttershy thought she would be several miles away by now.
Now, here she was, a fully grown mare, bawling her eyes out over a stallion she hadn’t spent more than an hour with, and yet somehow managed to put him in a coma. She wasn’t really sure what would make her feel much better- but right now, crying felt pretty damn good.
“Listen…” Rainbow Dash began when her friend’s sobs—and her own—began to slow down.
“I know what it’s like—to blame yourself, to know that it’s your fault—and have everypony around you tell you it isn’t.”
“But,” Fluttershy choked out, “If- If I hadn’t been pulling that cart—“
“If he hadn’t saved you,” Rainbow interrupted, “You’d be dead.”
As that realization was brought to Fluttershy’s attention, she felt another wave of tears coming up.
“How... how do you deal with it?”
“The pain of feeling it’s your fault?” Rainbow shook her head, knowing that the answer wasn’t an easy one to hear.
“That pain doesn’t go away. It’ll get better, but it won’t go away. The best thing you can do is be there for them.”
Fluttershy blinked her confusion, unsure of who Rainbow could have been talking about—as far as she knew, Rainbow hadn’t ever hurt anypony.
“It’ll make you both feel better, trust me.”
Fluttershy began scuffing the floor with her hoof, pondering who it was Rainbow was referring to.
“What?” Rainbow prompted with a shrug of her shoulders.
“Who was it, that you…” Fluttershy trailed off, unsure of how to word the question before it began in her mouth.
Caring For A Certain Stallion
“Another blanket?”
“Naw, Ah’m good, thanks.”
“Glass of,” Fluttershy interrupted herself with a stifled yawn, “water?” she offered, determined to find something he needed.
“No, but thank ya kindly.” Big Macintosh shook his head, heaving a heavy sigh. After he had been released from the hospital two days ago, the mare who stood almost ready to drop dead asleep was running herself ragged with trying to help him.
“Oh, you’re tired?” Fluttershy mistook the sigh as a closed-mouthed yawn.
“Actually, if ya don’ mind, Ah’d rather it be the other way ‘round.”
“Wha-“ Fluttershy began, stifling another yawn, “Why would you do that?”
“Well, whenever Applebloom or Applejack couldn’t get ta sleep, Ah would try an lull them to sleep, and end up knockin’ myself out first.”
“Oh, are you sure? I really don’t mind—“
“That, and it helped a whole lot more when I was layin’ next to ‘em. That, an’ it’s sorta awkward havin’ you just stand there, so…”
As the her face grew a shade of crimson to match his, Fluttershy decided it was probably best to just go along with it. She curled up against his barrel, close enough that she could feel his heart rate catching up with hers.
“She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette She broke his heart, he spent his whole life tryin' to forget We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind Until the night
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger And finally drank away her memory Life is short, but this time it was bigger Than the strength he had to get up off his knees We found him with his face down in the pillow With a note that said, 'I'll love her till I die.' And when we buried him beneath the willow The angels sang a whiskey lullaby…”
As his voice trailed off, he heard her occasional wispy sigh turn into a gentle snore.Well, she’s finally asleep, ah guess that counts fer’ somethin’.
As he slipped the blanket over her, Applejack came by the room, and offered a beaming smile.
“Well shoot,” She whispered as she trot over to help Big Macintosh up, “Ah was worried if she’d ever get ta sleep.”
“Ah know,” He agreed as he draped the rest of the blanket over her.
“An’ ya do know she’ll be asking what that song was about, right?”
“Eeyup,” He answered as he headed towards the kitchen’s chore list.
“Ya got some kind of a plan?” Applejack asked with a shifted eyebrow.
“Not really,” Big Macintosh shrugged as he ran through the list of crossed-off chores, seeing that almost his entire share of chores had been given a small, pink check mark next to them.
“It was the first thing that came ta my mind,” he replied as he ran over the list again.
“Well, it’s your call, Ah guess. Can’t really say it’d be my first choice, but go with it as you want to.”
He continued to stare, though this time just blankly at nothing in particular, his mind getting lost in his thoughts.
“ Macintosh?” Applejack leaned in to inspect her brother’s eyes. “ You still with me?”
“Ya think they’d approve?” He blurted out, after she had begun waving her hoof in front of his face, which Applejack answered with a head tilt of confusion.
“Ma and Paw—think they’d approve of me an’ her?”
“Well, Ah don’t see why not. Why are ya worried ‘bout somethin’ like that?”
“Well, they were both earth ponies, all our grandparents were earth ponies—we’ve been with earth ponies for so darn long, that—“
“Hold on, just a secon’-“ Applejack paused him in between giggles, “Ah don’ mean ta sound rude, but yer probably overthinking this. Ah’m pretty sure that Ah have a lot more ta worry ‘bout when it comes to ‘approval’ from Maw and Paw. Shoot, Ah’m a filly-fooler, fer’ cryin’ out loud!” Applejack chuckled, while somewhat guiltily rubbing her leg.
“Ya got a point there…”
“Anyhow, Ah was plannin’ on havin’ the girls over fer’ dinner. You interested?”
“Sure, long as they stay quiet. Ah’d rather not see Fluttershy ‘wake ‘fore at least noon tomorrow.”
“Understandable. Ah’ll make sure Pinkie Pie doesn’t get too loud.”
Oh, now this Ah’ve got ta see…
Caring For A Certain Stallion
“Anyhow, Ah guess that’s all that’s gone on since Big Macintosh got out of the hospital.” Applejack wrapped up her story, and took the final bite of her apple pie.
A murmur of surprise spread through the ponies gathered at the table, as they looked between Applejack and Big Macintosh.
“If y’all don’t mind,” Big Macintosh announced, stepping up from the table, “Ah’m goin’ out back for a bit of a walk.”
“All right, just holler if ya need somethin’.” Applejack dismissed him as he gathered his dishes from the table.
Pinkie Pie—whom still had a muting spell from Twilight on her-- got up from the table, and gathered her dishes as well.
“You heading out as well, Pinkie?” Twilight queried as she watched the normally overly bouncy pony trot—simply trot, not jump, or hop, or skip—just trot over towards him.
Pinkie looked towards Big Macintosh, apparently asking his permission. He mulled the idea over, not entirely sure if the company would be appropriate. He had a small willow he had been planning on walking to, and he doubted she’d let his thoughts be.
“Ah figure I wouldn’t mind the company,” he eventually decided with a shrug to not be rude, “An’ I bet she’s got a whole lot ta talk ‘bout.”
“Thanks, Twilight.” Pinkie murmured after a short flash from Twilight’s horn lifted the spell.
As he stepped out into the yard, she followed him as silently as she had sat during the dinner. After making the five minute trek to the willow, she had yet to say a single word, which was quite surprising for him, considering that Applejack’s description of the typically hyperactive pony summed up to “A never-ending fountain words that flowed forth faster and more readily than light from Celestia’s sun.”
Granted, that was probably taking it a bit too far, but still.
“Y’all okay, Miss Pie?”
“Well,” She began after a few more moments of silence, “I really wanted to ask you a question, but I still can’t phrase it right.”
That came as another big surprise for Big Macintosh, considering that he had known Pinkie Pie to always be the type to say things about as bluntly as a rock.
“Gettin’ the point across, or just not gettin’ offensive?”
“Um... both, I guess?”
“Well,” He dismissed it with a shrug, “if ya figure out how ya want ta say it, Ah’ll be willin’ ta listen.”
“Okie dokie! Um... Big Macintosh?”
“I guess... just don’t hurt her, okay?”
He chuckled “Wouldn’t dream of it,” as he watched Pinkie Pie spring merrily off.
With his company gone, Big Macintosh was finally able to focus on heading to the willow, taking in the simple night.
While most ponies really didn’t like the night, or the chill it brought, he was one of the few who enjoyed everything about it. There wasn’t anywhere near as much noise, and it was one of those few times he could be left alone to his own thoughts. He could just take his time, and breathe. Hearing the wind blow through the trees, he didn’t have to be thinking of anything he didn’t want to, and was allowed to let his mind drift to whatever it wanted to, which usually drifted to only a few ponies: his family, and those who he hoped would end up included in the former-- namely, Fluttershy.
“Well, Ma an’ Pa,” Big Macintosh sighed, looking from the two large stones next to each other to the starry sky that hung above him.
“Me too.”
With a start, he turned to see Fluttershy standing a few hoof steps behind him, with two blankets draped over her shoulders.
“Well, Ah figured you’d be out for a few more hours.” Or days, he added to himself.
“Really? You want me to leave? Because I can if you--”
He cut her off with a quick peck on the cheek, telling her exactly what he meant. After some self-aimed mumbling, and her cheeks growing their almost standard shade of crimson, she finally grabbed the extra blanket she had draped over her shoulders.
“That reminds me, Applejack told me to bring you this...”
As he draped the blanket over his shoulders, he pulled her close to his side, out of the biting wind. They sat for a while, watching the occasional breath be whisked away by the night wind, neither willing to break the companionable silence.
“So... this is the willow?”
“Eeyup.”
“Mind if I ask...?”
“Ah’d be surprised if ya didn’t.”
“What happened to your mother?”
Big Macintosh cleared his throat as he began the lullaby again:
“The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short, but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby...”
Caring For A Certain Stallion
“Fluttershy, listen.” Big Macintosh scooted along the ground, trying to get out from underneath the mare atop of him. “Ah think yer’ a really nice gal ‘n all, but Ah think we—“
Big Macintosh’s shaking finally woke her up, bringing her consciousness back to the warmer, much more… not that .
“Right...” Applejack mumbled as she rubbed the last of the sleep out of her eyes. She watched her brother limp his way out of her room, the small wheels on his cast squeaking along the way.
As he limped up to Fluttershy’s cottage, Big Macintosh could already hear the cacophony of chirps, shrieks and chitters that seemed to fade into white noise that constantly accompanied the mare’s house.
“Miss Fluttershy?” he knocked, not entirely sure what her policy was when dealing with expected company.
“Oh, just a minute, please! You can come inside if you want, I’ll be right out!”
“I’m ready to go now, if that’s okay.” Fluttershy’s voice broke him from his thoughts. Looking between her and the daisy, he held it out for her, hoping she would get the idea.
“Oh, thank you! But, you really didn’t need to…”
She took the flower from his hoof, and placed it between her mane and ear, and then shut the door behind her.
“Are you ready to go?”
“Eeyup.”
The pair began their trek to Ponyville, a not-entirely-unwelcome silence accompanying. Neither knew where exactly to start the conversation, nor what the conversation should or could encompass. In fact, the most noise between the pair was the occasional squeak from the wheels on Big Macintosh’s cast. The occasional glance down at it from Fluttershy almost provided an opening, but by the time either had worked up the courage to act on it, they had already arrived at “Quills & Sofas.”
Stepping inside, they were greeted with what one could expect from a store called “Quills and Sofas”—it was covered in quills and sofas. Ranging from the more regal, fluidly designed divans to the more bland, ergonomically designed office chaises, there certainly wasn’t a lack of variety. Not to suggest that the quills half of the store was sub-par, of course. More styles and varieties of the writing tool than either had ever heard of decorated the walls, forming a prismatic sheet, with one specific quill held in a glass case in the center of the store.
This quill, however, deserved it’s own spot. It had a gold-bordered label underneath, which read “Prismatic Phoenix.” The “Phoenix” part, Fluttershy could understand. The feather was reminiscent of the one she had received from Philomena, it’s flame-colored fade, and faint heat had both left quite an impression on her.
“Umm… excuse me, sir?”
“Yes?” Davenport, the store’s owner called from behind the counter.
“Why is this quill placed apart from the others?”
“Well,” Davenport chuckled as he trot over to the quill in question, “better question is; How is this quill apart from the others?” Lifting the glass dome, he began to ink out a message on a spare sheet of parchment he kept on his person for just such an occasion.
“For one, it’s a phoenix feather—doesn’t take much looking to figure that out—and another, it’s enchanted. Doesn’t need ink at all. See?” He presented his own name scrawled out upon the paper. “How about you try?”
“Oh no, I broke it, didn’t I?”
“Far from it, my dear,” Davenport chortled, “That’s one of the many ways this quill is enchanted. It’s designed to have any color ink you could possibly please, but you have to focus on one particular color, or it’ll decide by itself.”
“That sounds absolutely wonderful! I’m certain Twilight will just love it.”
“Twilight?” Davenport’s eyebrow shifted, surprised to hear that particular name come up. “As in, Twilight Sparkle?”
“Yes, why?”
“Why, she’s a very good customer of mine! Now that I know her birthday’s coming up, I have to think of something to get her myself!” He chuckled, taking the quill over to the counter. “That’ll be 40 bits.”
“Oh, thank you so much! I can’t…” As Fluttershy reached into her bit purse, she realized that she hadn’t more than 10 bits to her name, after paying off the hospital fees. “I can’t…” She began frantically searching through the purse, hoping that by some miracle the remaining 30 bits would appear by themselves.
“Listen,” Big Macintosh stepped in, withdrawing his own, substantially heftier bit bag, “Ah’ll pay for it.”
“Oh, I don’t want to be a—“ Fluttershy was cut off by a quick glance from Big Macintosh as he placed the bits on the counter.
Unknown to most ponies outside the Apple Family, Big Macintosh had his own version of “The Stare”. While he couldn’t use it to compel Winona to actually be quiet when Granny Smith was taking a nap, he used it more often than not to relay messages that just couldn’t be said out loud.
After placing the wrapped and boxed quill in his saddlebag, the pair exited the store, with Big Macintosh left to ponder how to broach the topic.
There was blunt as a rock, which would work if she flat-out denied it, but…
“I- I’m not broke, if that’s what you’re thinking…”
Blunt it is.
“I’m just…” Fluttershy began fumbling for words, began staring at the ground.
“Let me guess: You’re only in ‘dire financial straights.’”
“I wouldn’t… oh, I would say that.”
Really, really blunt it is.
“Sugarcube, that’s what my Paw said when he was about to drink the farm under. You’re broke.”
“I… all right, I’m broke,” she admitted, “but I dug this hole myself, and I’m not going to bother anyone by asking for help trying to get myself out.”
Rolling his eyes, Big Macintosh grumbled something about being ‘stubborn’ and ‘foolhardy’ before finally coming up with a more finesse way to say what was on his mind.
“Listen, while Ah think there ain’t a hole you can dig that you can’t dig yourself out of, there isn’t anything unkind about accepting help when it’s offered.”
“But I dug the hole, and you fell in with me!” Fluttershy replied, tears brimming her eyes.
“And now, we’re diggin’ out.”
Author's Note
So, if you all were wondering where that whole intro came from, it was just simply Applejack's hair.
Caring For A Certain Stallion
Diamonds
“Oh, and that was when he suggested that I should bring some friends along! And I couldn’t think of anyone better to take!” Rarity continued to drone on about the fancy dinner that she was invited to, but Big Macintosh just couldn’t pay attention. There were only so many hours that even HE could listen to a mare drone on and on… and boy, could she monologue. While he was grateful to her for inviting him along, he was mainly here because Fluttershy had suggested that they could call it a “date”.
Granted, he still wasn’t too excited about that. He had actually planned on having a nice, quiet picnic with just her, alone, nice and quiet. But, as was his philosophy, “whatever the mare wants, the mare gets.”
As Rarity continued to chirp about this, that, and the other thing, Big Macintosh decided that now would be a good time to continue his reading.
When Rarity had initially told him about the last “favor”, he had decided that making sure it didn’t go bad would be a good thing. So, he had actually made a few trips to the Golden Oaks library to find something that might be useful in a conversation—and something to read on the trip to Canterlot.
Well, there goes any hopes of me getting in a word. Not like I had anything to say anyway. They’re speaking Prench, and I barely remember any of those lessons Miss Rarity gave me other than saying ‘I don’t speak Prench.’ Might as well—
Nevermind.
“Fancy Pants, this is Big Macintosh. Big Macintosh, this is Fancy Pants.”
“Pleasure to meet you, my good fellow.” Fancy offered a hoof, with Big Macintosh happily obliged.
“Pleasure to meet you, sir. Glad to see not everypony ‘round here is too “high and mighty” to shake hooves.”
“Quite. In any moment, I believe that we—“
“Sir Fancy Pants! I didn’t know you were getting in on the modeling business!” An aged, sand-yellow stallion in a crisply ironed suit from just outside the door chided**. As he strolled into the suite, Big Macintosh noticed something oddly… familiar.
“Ah! Autumn! I’m quite certain you are mistaken!”
“Really,” Autumn Leaf chuckled, “Then why is it that you have such a beautiful mare in such a gorgeous dress with you?” He strolled over to kiss Rarity’s hoof.
“Such a flirt like always, Autumn. You see, this is Rarity, the mare you were supposed to meet?”
“Come now, I’m allowed a little joking at my age. In any case, I can already tell that your work is far higher caliber than expected, so consider our business done. Now then, who is your other company?”
“This is Big Macintosh,” Fancy had begun to introduce him, “and he is one of—Macintosh, what exactly are you doing?”
Big Macintosh had gone silent, studying every aspect he could of Autumn Leaf. There was something that he just could not pinpoint, but he had seen it before.
“Oh, goodness! Big Macintosh, what are you doing?” Fluttershy called as she came back in with Fleur.
Big Macintosh’s silence was finally broken when he heard Fluttershy. He swung around, and started to stare at her in the same fashion he had Autumn Leaf, but only for a brief second. Without saying a word, he shoved Fluttershy right next to Autumn.
“Y’all see what Ah see?”
“Well,” Rarity, who had become quite steamed by the time he had finally spoken up scoffed, “all I’m seeing is a ruffian who-“ Rarity broke off mid-sentence, “who… oh my stars, you’re right!”
“Would somepony please tell us what is going on?” Fluttershy stomped her hoof angrily, and also rather loudly.
“Sugarcube, ya don’t recognize him?”
“No… why? Should I?”
“Ah would reckon you would recognize your own father.”
Author's Note
Okay! So, it's been quite a while! (Hopefully, you all turned off any notifications of me you have going so that this chapter slides easily into the vast, porn-filled collection that we call the Internet.)http://sparkle-bubba.deviantart.com/art/mlp-rarity-325094852 http://jennieoo.deviantart.com/art/Fluttershy-s-Parents-328611685?offset=20 (Imagine him a bit older.)
Caring For A Certain Stallion
“Lord Velvet, I do insist that you come along with me to my wine cellar! We have an excellent selection of pinots and chardonneighs to choose from.” Sir Grape Vine called. “Sir Vine, I would be honored to sample your bouqet,” Velvet Song replied. It wasn’t solely at Vine’s behest that Velvet descended down with his long-time friend. Now would be the perfect time to confess something that he had been meaning to for a while now. Something that had been simmering in his head, and his heart. As their descent took them further down into the cellar, Velvet took the moment to observe his friend for what might be the last time. He was broad-shouldered—all the better to carry the berries were a part of his namesake, and all the young mares that he had courted. And his barrel was broad, with each sinewy muscle acting as a pillow for each of his lovers after a night of lust-filled passion. His haunches were lithe, with each stride down the stairs he took flexing them to accentuate the full boons of the earth pony’s hard labor. His coat was a shimmering, silken, silver, with an amaranthine mane flowing over eyes to match his darkest merlot. Eyes that would either hold pain or acceptance for what he was about to tell him. That is, if he were to tell him. He could just be silent, not telling his friend the truth, and just keeping— “Velvet,” Vine turned to face his friend at the stair landing, “You have been entirely silent this entire time. And not only that, but you haven’t said a word to me since our game of polo, or even before that, you have done nothing but stare at me like you have something to say.” Vine’s eyes held a pain that made Velvet’s stomach churn. It was the kind of anguish that would make even the most cold-hearted ponies feel wrong, and knowing that it was his own fault made it all the worse. “I…” The words stuck on his tongue. “You can tell me, Velvet. You and I have faced down the darkest fiends of all Equestria, I am certain that you can best whatever is vexing your tongue.” It was true, He and Grape Vine had been knights during the Lunar Upheaval, and had seen some of the worst that ponykind could dream up, surely he could overcome this? “Vine, you and I have been through a lot, haven’t we?” “Yes,” Vine grinned, recalling some of their more pleasant ventures. “But, you aren’t wanting to talk about our drunken little debacle in the royal pantry, are you?” “Ah, no,” Velvet forced a chuckle, “I wasn’t wanting to talk about that. I just… I don’t want to lose you over what I’m about say, all right?” “My friend, you couldn’t say a single thing that would make me turn away from your side.” “I rutted your wife last night?” Velvet’s panic-stricken mind had decided that was the better option than the truth. Without skipping a beat, Vine replied with a chuckle, “Who hasn’t?” Velvet actually managed a real chuckle at that, but Vine’s cocksure grin told him the bluff wasn’t called. “All of my life, I have stood by your side. We got into trouble together, enlisted together, and I stood tall with you while the batwings battered the walls of the Sister’s Castle.” Velvet winced as he imagined the words that Vine would say next. “And now, as I stand by your side, I feel myself trembling as a school filly before her teacher. I…” “Go on,” Vine put his foreleg around Velvet’s shoulders, “I can take it.” “I love you.” Vine froze at that, his ever-flowing joy suddenly stopped. Velvet could feel the tears creeping into his eyes, and his heart jump. “I know that you must think so low of me,” he choked out, “but I needed to get that off of my barrel. So, after tonight, I won’t ever—“ Velvet was silenced by Vine’s hoof upon his muzzle. Velvet felt that were the world to freeze in that spot, he would not be entirely disappointed. He wished that the world would freeze. But as fate would conspire against him, Grape Vine removed his hoof, and stare at the ground, trying to search for a sentence to work itself to his tongue. The silence between the two was tense, with neither really looking the other in the eye, but only occasionally stealing glances at each other. Velvet’s fears began to charge up to his chest, squeezing it as they went down to make his stomach churn. He felt ready to vomit when Vine finally spoke. “Velvet,” He finally spoke, trying to beat back a sob of his own, “I can’t believe that you were really that stupid.” He shook his head, letting the tears fall freely now. “You really thought that I would be angry with you? That I would shun you just for finally admitting what your heart has been telling you for a while now?” Velvet gave a start, surprised that Vine had apparently known for longer. “You thought that I, of all people, would look lesser upon anypony for who they loved?” A defeated laugh escaped him, as moved close enough to his feather-ruffled friend to put their foreheads together. “I love you dearly—truly, I do, Velvet. Don’t ever believe otherwise. But—“ He cut himself off with a kiss on Velvet’s lips, a quick, but nonetheless sweet kiss, “I just can’t return your affections. The kiss was just so that you could vent a little.” Velvet, whose wings were now standing at full attention, began to mutter something incomprehensible, but Grape Vine continued on. “And, I’ll have you know, that I don’t take this honor lightly. To have you actually say it to me that—out of all the possible stallions of all Equestria—that you chose to give your heart to me, is something that I will never forget. But, I can’t accept it.” He sighed inwardly, the emerald eyes that had mere moments ago professed an undying love to him were now beginning to crumble. “I wouldn’t be able to love you in the same way that another colt would, and you deserve a pony’s full affection and devotion.” A sob shook Velvet, which drew one from Grape Vine in return. “There, you got me crying again, too.” Vine nuzzled Velvet’s chin so that his head was held up to see each other in the eye. “And hey, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Vine got a half-chuckle, half-sob from Velvet.
“You were always a merlot pony, weren’t you?” When Rarity finally looked up from her book, she noticed that Big Macintosh had left the rather large study to go somewhere— to think about something, she thought she had heard him say—which left her alone. Fancy Pants had taken Fleur off to the dining hall where they had been planning on having their dinner, citing that he had to make “the necessary changes for such a turn of events.”
As she lifted herself from the velvet chair to place the book back in her purse, her mind wandered off back to what she had just witnessed.
“…Daddy?” Fluttershy took a step towards the elder stallion, a glint of a tear near the edge of her eye.
“See?” She whispered to her stomach, as she brought her eyes to his. When Fancy Pants saw he had Rarity’s attention, he announced that dinner was in fact ready, and lead her back to the dining room.
“Wow,” Autumn laughed to himself, as he brought a spear of steamed asparagus to his mouth, “I missed out on my daughter being a model?”
Author's Note
So, SCENE TRANSITIONS GALORE. And, don't ask why I had the story-in-story at the beginning. I just had it sitting around, and couldn't let it go to waste.
Caring For A Certain Stallion
Disclaimer: There is so much >implying in this chapter it isn’t even funny. Seriously, I had to be so damn careful with this, it ain’t even funny. All the >implying. And what we’re >implying here ain’t a big ol’ joke here. Trying to explore an aspect of one of the characters’ lives the show can NEVER touch. EVER. With a 500 foot pole.
“Ah finally get to go on a date with her, and it’s nowhere near what Ah had planned.” Big Macintosh mumbled to himself as he sank further into the velvet seat, finally getting low enough that the poor pony behind him could actually see without leaning over into the seat next to him.
Fancy Pants had pointed them to a movie called “Watership Down”* as the first thing they should do while in Canterlot. Which, apparently, nopony had told him more about what the movie was about other than “rabbits.” Big Macintosh had actually read the book, and knew what happened in it; He had tried to convince Fluttershy that it really wasn’t the movie for her, but once she had heard Fancy Pants say “rabbits”, there was no convincing her otherwise.
“And here comes the vision...” He mumbled to himself, knowing full well what was going to happen next in the film.
“And the fire... it was everywhere! It was horrid! Bucks and does, all alike; slaughtered before my very eyes!”
As the scene flashed itself before them, Fluttershy soon latched onto Big Macintosh’s neck, whispering “OkyouwererightIreallydon’tlikethismoviecanwepleaseleave now?”
He craned his neck to see how many ponies he would be disturbing if he were to stand up right now, and found there was only the one pony behind him. He whispered an excuse me and just stood right up, pulling Fluttershy-- who was still holding him in what she worried was a vice grip-- right out of her seat, and began to trot towards the aisle.
“Just keep yer’ eyes shut ‘til I tell you, all right?”
“Sounds great.”
As he stepped out of the theatre, and back out onto the streets of Canterlot, a very unsettling realization hit Big Macintosh:
There were absolutely no trees to be seen! No nature, no plants!
He knew that there was certainly going to be a lot less plant life in Canterlot; it being a city built on the side of a mountain-- but still! There was the occasional planter box outside a window, but other than Celestia’s hedge maze and Fancy Pants’ garden, there wasn’t all that much greenery to be seen.
“Are… are we finally out of the theatre?” Fluttershy mumbled, reminding him that he wasn’t just here for himself… in fact…
“Just keep yer’ eyes shut, sugarcube.”
“O-okay.”
As he surveyed the area, there seemed to be absolutely no signs or anything of the sort that would tell him where there was anything like what he was looking for, but the birds flying overhead all seemed to be headed in the same general direction.
“If Harry Trotter can follow the spiders,” he mused to himself, “Ah don’t see why birds would hurt.”
As he continued his way following the birds, Fluttershy would occasionally inquire about where they were going, only to receive a “You’ll see…” from Big Macintosh. Occasionally, the birds would take a turn far too sharp for Big Macintosh to follow, because of a building, or an overly busy road, but he would always find his way back to following the same pair. Upon entering a stretch of sidewalk that was in no way special other than a lack of ponies, he decided to take a better look at his avian guides. They were mourning doves, which was rather odd for this area of Equestria—and this time of day, for that matter. Usually, they resigned themselves to the night, and usually preferred to stay in more rural areas like Ponyville. But, at the same time, who was he to judge? He was the one following birds in the first place.
Fluttershy, for her part, didn’t seem to mind the surprise trip, from what Big Macintosh could tell, and would occasionally make some remark on some passing Swallows she heard, or the chirping of some robin chicks whose mother had decided to make a building corner their home.
The pair soon found themselves approaching a rather oddly thickly-treed area, much too thickly wooded to be a park; but the stallion wasn’t exactly satisfied with just setting down in some random patch of forest. He continued on, with his view of the doves always conspicuously left open, with a creek soon coming within earshot along the path.
“May I open my eyes yet?” Fluttershy asked as she felt Big Macintosh come to a stop.
“You certainly may.” A mares’ voice called out in answer, startling both of them to jump.
As they both began to look about for the source of the voice, they heard some movement from behind the small waterfall across the pond, and saw a lithe, snowy Pegasus with a pink mane a bit more subdued than Fluttershy’s step out.
“Pardon us, ma’am, we didn’t mean to intrude—“
“Oh no, it’s fine.” She cut him off as she leapt half-way across the pond, and then glided the rest of the way to the bank, affording Big Macintosh the chance to notice that the mare’s cutie mark was a single dove, its wings spread in flight towards the sun.
“Though, now I am curious. How did you manage to find this place?”
“Hmm,” She hummed wistfully to herself, as she began to stare at the sky with his answer, “I forget that those two still fly along the way for anypony willing to look.”
Big Macintosh, at this point, began to turn to leave, when he was stopped by Fluttershy hopping off.
“Excuse me,” Fluttershy called as she stepped towards the much taller mare, “but do you know why those doves are out this early?”
“My sister and I, back in our early days, would sometimes need some time alone—we just could not stand being in court for so long. So, I requested she place an enchantment on this forest—particularly, this glade that you two have found—that everypony who wanders in here will only come to if you follow the birds.”
“Now how would you do that?” Big Macintosh inquired, his own curiosity piqued. Since he hadn’t been able to take the newspapers he had found at the library home, there had been times that Twilight might ask him if he wouldn’t mind assisting with something in her own section of the library, and he would agree every time. While he himself had absolutely no real interest in the spell, he thought that if he were stuck talking with Twilight again it might make a nice conversational piece.
“An excellent question; You see, it isn’t that she made this place invisible, or anything—oh, she was nowhere near that good with her magic then,” the mare added with a chuckle, “but rather, the enchantment makes ponies’ minds actively avoid looking at this place, and instead searching for a different place, or a path around. Thus, the only way to get here is by following those birds.” Both of her audience mouthed wows in amazement.
“That’s mighty impressive, miss…” Big Macintosh began his compliment, but then trailed off, “Shoot, Ah think ya have me here, I don’t know your name.”
“You must certainly be—“ The mare started, but then looked back upon own mane and chuckled, “Oh, forgive me, I forget myself sometimes.” A bright sheen enveloped the mare, and was quickly replaced by very familiar tri-colored mane.
“Princess!” The two quickly bowed, hoping to make up for their lack of recognition.
“Oh please, my little ponies; stand.” She chuckled almost with defeat, as she saw the two still maintain a reverent pose.
“I suppose that I should probably explain why I was misrepresenting myself, shouldn’t I?”
“Well,” Fluttershy answered, her voice tinted only ever-so-slightly with curiosity, “I suppose that would be nice, but if you don’t want to, we’d understand.” Big Macintosh, hoping to not deepen the Princess’ view of him being a redneck, only nodded.
“As you two probably know by now,” she began, as she lay down with her legs folded under her, prompting her companions to make themselves comfortable, “I can afford myself very few indulgences like this; To be able to slip away from the Day Court, to relax, and unwind.” Fluttershy and Big Macintosh both nodded, prompting her to continue, “And as such, I try to make the most of them. So, in order to slip away from the—excuse my Prench, ponyrazzi**—I need to disguise myself so that they won’t continually hound me.”
“So, you come here on your days off?” Fluttershy prompted.
“Well, I come here for part of it. The austerity of nature always helps me unwind, unlike the rather busy halls of the Canterlot Castle.”
“Really?” Fluttershy inquired, “When you called us up to Canterlot to deal with Discord the first time, we barely ran into anypony except the guards.”
“Back when Canterlot was first being built,” Big Macintosh interjected, “and for the first few years after, the Castle’s staff was under a hundred—now, it’s almost up to a thousand, guards excluded.”
Both of the mares stare at him, one with the amusement of a mother whose child had truly accomplishment, and the other of a friend who had just spoken out of turn with the closest possible being to God.
“I—forgive me for speaking out of turn, Princess.”
“No need to ask for forgiveness, back when I would tutor Twilight she did that exact thing quite often...” She laughed as she pointed out that the shoe was on the other hoof, as it were. She didn’t know his name.
“Big Macintosh,” He answered as politely as possible.
“Hm… now I know where I have heard of you before. You are Applejack’s older brother, yes?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Oh please, while I am certain it is within your nature to be so courteous, there is no need to be so formal. That is perhaps another reason I disguise myself; ponies don’t treat me like I’m so far above them, and that I have to spoon-feed them every bit of knowledge, and anything that says otherwise is absolutely wrong.” She chuckled as she told them about how she had become so sick of the nobles always bending over sideways to appease her, that one day she had proclaimed it was now and forever going to be Cake day, and that in order to gain an audience with her, a cake of the highest magnitude was to be presented in offering. To this day, Luna still occasionally finds a cake or two stashed away in her part of the Castle.
“Which actually brings me to a question that I should have probably asked while we were on the topic—forgive my jumping topics, it has been much too long that I had a casual conversation—but how exactly did you know so much about the Canterlot Castle, Big Macintosh?”
“Without our Maw or Paw to run the farm, and just two able bodies to work, Ah had to find every way to streamline our jobs as possible.” He went on to explain that in every single article, book, or thesis he had found, the Canterlot Castle was always described as being the single most efficient operation on the planet, bar none.
“Fluttershy, I don’t mean to put you on the spot, but I have been meaning to get to know you—all of the bearers of the Elements—better, and I think there would be no better time for me to at least hear a little bit about you.”
“What would you like to know?” Celestia paused only for a moment before she thought of parents, given Big Macintosh’s recent mentioning of his.
“Well, my father, Autumn Leaf, is a jewel dealer now.” Celestia nodded, before inquiring of her mother.
“My mother...” Fluttershy began to return to her trademark scuffing the ground whenever she really didn’t wish to be a part of the current conversation.
After a few moments of seeing Fluttershy squirm, Celestia filled in the blank and asked if it was recent.
“No, and I…” Fluttershy shook a bit as she scrunched her eyes shut, “I just really—“
“There is no need, Fluttershy. While some ponies are capable of talking about it readily,” She nodded to Big Macintosh, “some ponies never feel quite comfortable. I understand.”
Big Macintosh nuzzled Fluttershy’s neck, to help her shaking calm down a bit.
Celestia clicked her tongue, as she thought of another question to ask, before her stomach voiced its protest of a lack of food, or even mid-morning tea.
“Oh, we’ve probably kept ya from gettin’ a bite, haven’t we?”
“Well,” Fluttershy stood up, and began to brush herself off, “shame on us for keeping you so long. I am so sorry about this, Princess.”
“Again, especially you, Fluttershy, just call me Celestia. And—if you two wouldn’t mind joining me for lunch—it would help if you could call me by the name ‘Sol Song.’”
“We would be honored, your…” Big Macintosh stopped himself, and chuckled as he corrected to “Ah mean sure, ‘Sol Song’.”
Celestia chuckled in turn, and the trio headed off towards lunch.
---------------------------------------CfaCS----------------------------------
“So, you’re saying that if it weren’t for Big Macintosh’s quick actions, you would most certainly…?” Celestia asked as she set down her cup of Lotus tea.
“Oh yes,” Fluttershy leaned over to pick him on the nose, “He saved me in more ways than he knows.”
Celestia giggled daintily as she watched Big Macintosh flicker between absolutely freezing up and trying to form a coherent thought as Fluttershy’s coy smile grew even larger.
“Rarity taught me that one.” She murmured as she repeated the process one more time.
“Well, I’m very happy to see you two together.” Celestia purred.
“Although, um… Sol, I have a question about your…. ‘book character’.” They had decided that any questions about Celestia would be veiled as questions about Sol’s ‘book character’.”
“Yes, what is it?”
“I—oh, I can’t ask this, it’s far too embarrassing.”
“Go ahead, nothing is off limits. I mean, it is a ‘book character’ after all.” Sol gave Fluttershy a reassuring smile as she prompted her companion on.
“It’s just… your ‘character’ is over a thousand years old…”
“Yes, and what about her?”
“Well…oh, why can’t I be more straightforward like Rainbow?”
“Oh!” Sol’s cheeks only slightly tinged as she realized what Fluttershy was implying.
“No, please, stay, Big Macintosh. This will actually concern you in just a moment.”
“What most ponies don’t realize is that while yes, she loves her sister very much, that still leaves the other kind of love completely alone. And unlike those whose lives only span under a century, the character’s needs… for ‘love’… are still left very well intact.”
“And seeing how she is part of the royal family, and has experienced the heart-break that comes with outliving many a partner, she can’t truly stand marrying again, which leaves her in a very awkward position.” Sol’s cheeks began to flare a bit more, as she looked between her hooves and him.
“Ennnope.”
“Oh, please, hear her out, Big Macintosh!” Fluttershy pleaded.
In his usually rather quiet mind, every single thought process had turned into one, cohesive, mass of NOPE.
“Ah’ll listen. Don’t mean I have to agree to it.”
“All she would ask is one night. Not a pony else would know.” Sol began, only to be interrupted by Big Macintosh once again.
“Except her.” He deadpanned, nodding to Fluttershy.
“And I’m telling you, it would be fine with me!” Fluttershy turned Big Macintosh in his seat, to look him directly in the eye. “She has to deal with a loneliness that neither of us can possibly imagine. How could you possibly be so mean to deny her just one night?”
“Ah guess Ah don’t really have any choice in the matter, do Ah?”
With that, it seemed that any spark of hope fled Sol’s eyes, as she sighed and finally gave in.
“I can’t go through with this. It wouldn’t feel right for either of us…” As Sol began to slump over, Big Macintosh felt like his heart would snap in half as he saw just how damned miserable Celestia really was. Here was the ruler of his country, the very person he prayed to every night, asking for one small favor of him—one thing for hundreds of years of selfless devotion to ponies she had no obligation to—and he was wanting to say no out of Celestia-damned pride in keeping to the strict morals his folks had instilled.
“Look, Ah promise that by tonight, Ah’ll feel better about it, Ah promise.”
“Are…” Sol sniffled, as she came back from the tears that only hundreds of years of self-imposed composure had stopped, “Are you sure?”
Big Macintosh couldn’t swallow the lump in his throat, and thus only nodded.
“All right,” Celestia exhaled a pent-up breath as she heard the news, “Big Macintosh, I don’t think you know how much this means, to me; and I know neither of you two need any reminder of how private this must stay.”
“Oh no, we wouldn’t dream of it.” Fluttershy assured.
“Like I would want to .” Big Macintosh added in his head.
-----------------------------CfaCS--------------------
The arrangements had been made, and so Big Macintosh was going to take an “extended tour” of the castle, while Fluttershy went back to enjoy a night on the town with her father. Big Macintosh had been smuggled in by Celestia, and it was nearing time for Celestia to bring the sun down for the night to begin.
“Big Macintosh, I want you to know that at any time you feel that you want to stop—“
“All Ah need to do is ask.” Big Macintosh smiled at her, reassuring the princess that at this point, he had curtailed his reservations.
Celestia giggled as the stallion snapped back into a regular standing position after taking a quick whiff of himself, and told him that she only had a bath, and it was down the hall, opposite the stairs.
“And just as a word of warning: my sister hasn’t been told about our little arrangement, so you may want to avoid rehearsing any operas while in there.”
Big Macintosh thanked her, and stepped out to head towards the bathroom. As his hoof steps echoed through the hall, he still couldn’t believe the architecture around him. The hall’s style reminded him of the old Castle of the Pony Sisters—which Twilight had shown him several pictures of when she checking to see if it could be made to be structurally sound again, and turned into a museum. He had asked Celestia about it when they had come in, and she had explained that when her sister had returned, she had done as much as possible to make Luna comfortable.
“While yes, I want her to become well-acclimated,” He remembered Celestia saying, “the process of modernization can be at times stressful, frightening even—and so, her having a place to come back to that is familiar will help.”
He pushed open the stone door, and stepped into the bathroom, which only managed to further Big Macintosh’s amazement at the entire palace. This had to have been Celestia’s personal bathroom, because holy hay was it pink. The floors were granite, speckled pink and yellow, with a large golden sun centered on the floor. There was only about enough hair product to make Rarity swoon, all of it kept within a shelf that required Big Macintosh to crane his neck to see the top of, next to the tub. This, for any normal sized pony, would be a single-pony sized swimming pool. Big Macintosh began to look for any form of a coat wash, and the only one he could find was… right beyond his reach. He began to honestly weigh his options: either go without it and end up with Celestia’s time being smelly, or reach it, and have himself smell like a mare.
“Pride doesn’t always get to win, ya know that.” He muttered to himself, and as he began to look around for any kind of step-stool. As he soon found, there was only small boxes to be found, so he pulled one up to the front of the rack and brought himself on top of it. Even then, it was a stretch, but he found his balance and grabbed the bottle as quickly as possible. He hopped down from the box, and walked over to the tub, and reached in to turn on the tub. As the water began to pour in, he was amazed as he immediately began to see steam rise.
He lowered himself into the tub, and given the new perspective, he realized that even for him the golden tub was above eye level. It made sense, given who it was built for, but this was going to be ludicrous for him to get out of.
When it finally reached about his shoulder, he turned the water off, and began to scrub himself. The bubbles tickled his fur, and were as pink as Sol’s mane had been. He heard some of the water begin to fizz, and as he continued his brushing, he thought he saw something strange about his fur, but a bubble burst itself right as he began to lean closer to his lifted foreleg.
“Faust save the princess, that stuff is down-right painful!” He mumbled to himself, as he began to wipe the offending substance from his eye.
“Oh, Tia,” Luna called in a sing-song as she entered into the bathroom, “I can’t tell you how wonderful a dream I had last night!”
He heard her pause for just a moment, and then snicker.
“Are you hiding from me, dearest sister?”
Oh buck. What do I do now?
“Did something happen to your fur wash, perhaps?” She began to snicker even more, as he heard her step closer and closer towards the tub.
“Did I accidentally store that fizzy wash I got from the prank store in your bottle?”
Well, better now than later.
“Nope.” He answered as he brought his head as high as he could, just to the brim of the tub.
Luna stood stock still for a moment, only to then open up into a roar of laughter.
“Oh, ‘Tia, you have certainly bested my prank!” She managed between guffaws, “And now, I think I’ll allow you to continue your bath.”
He watched Luna step out, and shut the door behind her. When he was sure she was gone, he pulled the plug to drain the tub. Once the foam had all gone down, he rinsed himself off thoroughly, and began to plan his escape. Big Macintosh knew that while he was a strong jumper, he couldn’t get the height he needed to get his forehooves over the edge with his fur completely soaked. The end of the tub nearest the faucets was a vertical drop, and none of the fixtures looked strong enough that he would be willing to gamble placing his weight on them. The opposite end wasn’t much better; it was a steep grade that he knew he would either make it up to the top, or slip, slide and smack himself against the other end.
“The hay-brained ideas I come up with…” he mumbled to himself as he trot as far from the grade as he could.
He stretched his legs, and then got himself into position to begin his sprint towards the grade. He gave the edge one more look-over, and then bolted as fast as he could. He got to the lip of the tub, and felt his hooves slip from beneath him.
Oh buck, this is going to hurt!
He shut his eyes, and braced himself for the inevitable impact. He waited a few seconds, and then opened his eyes when he realized that he wasn’t going anywhere.
“You could have just asked, and I would have helped you out, Big Macintosh.”
He breathed a sigh of relief, as he realized that… it wasn’t Celestia who saved him. Luna stood with a smirk, her legs crossed like Applejack after a well-placed buck on a tree.
“I realized it wasn’t ‘Tia when you started to drain the tub. Her baths make Spike’s look conservative in comparison.” She lifted him the rest of the way out, and levitated a towel his way.
“And you needn’t worry about explaining yourself; I wasn’t blinded when I was banished to the moon, I could see everything underneath it. That, and she told me.”
Big Macintosh unintentionally grit his teeth loud enough to be heard when he heard that.
“Though, it wasn’t intentional per se, she happens to be heavily drunk, you see.” Luna motioned for him to follow her out into the hall, while she continued.
“My sister has a very… heavy-hooved conscious, shall we say? She has had to maintain her role as an exemplar for so very long, that now she can barely handle self-indulgence such as this, even if she has been desperately wanting it.”
“So…” Big Macintosh filled in the blanks, “she drinks?”
“Indeed. While she was entertaining you in her room before this, did she stay on her balcony?”
Big Macintosh nodded, and Luna smirked at her confirmed suspicions.
“If you had stepped closer, you would have noticed that her breath smelt as if she had inhaled a brewery. And unfortunately for you, the proverbial “broom” becomes dislodged from her hindquarters, and she is rather,” Luna paused, to think of a prime example of what she was thinking, “do you remember how I spoke when I first came to your village?”
“Loud, to the point of breaking a pony’s ear drums if you weren’t careful?”
Big Macintosh’s question was answered when he heard Celestia call his name from her chamber.
“Though, I do know that by the time she begins to hiccup, she has usually forgotten all about her earlier inhibitions.”
“I... WANT *HIC* YOU IN HERE N*HIC*OW, YOU BIG LUG!”
“Best do what she says,” Luna whispered as though a normal tone could be heard through the stone doors, “and above all, thank you.”
Big Macintosh whispered a thank you to the princess who was now making a not-so-quiet sprint back to her own room, and then turned to face the door leading to Celestia’s room.
“Celestia?” He poked his head through the door, hoping that answering her would prompt her to lower her voice.
“YES!” She shouted, much to his chagrin, “MY STALLION HAS COME TO *HIC* TAKE ME!”
Celestia lay against the headboard of her bed, which dwarfed the bathtub. She waved her hoof towards him; inviting him to hop onto the bed to join her. He stepped on, and immediately sank up to his knee within its plush velvet.
“You don’t know how looooooooong I’ve wanted this…” She purred as she levitated a bottle of wine towards him. She drunkenly giggled as she offered him some wine, and after his declining, she popped the cork off anyway.
“They went all wide-eyed when I told them I wanted a bottle of vodka, no questions asked. And then SOME PONIES,” She glared at him, as though the empty bottle off the side of the bed was his fault, “Just HADDA drink it all.”
Every fiber in Big Macintosh’s being told him that getting in bed with any mare this wasted was wrong; both morally and in a very legal sense. Even if it had been agreed on before, when the mare had been well and sober.
“And ya know, I don’t think this is a real bottle.” She levitated the bottle, looking it over, and then snickering maniacally.
“I bet I could break this right now, with my head,” She looked as though she was about to crack herself over the head, when she looked at Big Macintosh.
“You wanna try?” She offered the bottle to him, and bent her head over to offer him perfect shot to whack her over the head.
“Listen, Celestia, Ah really don’t feel comfortable with—“
“Well then, HAVE SOME VODKA!”
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“Oh, my head…” She murmured as her consciousness ever-so-kindly brought her to grips with the sunlight beaming through her eyelids and into her corneas. She felt a hoof draped over barrel, with another hoof underneath her head. She turned over, and began to snuggle into the other pony’s barrel, expecting it to smell of hay, dirt, or something of the like. Instead, she smelled an almost… lavender scent? It certainly wasn’t the coat wash she used—hers was all-natural, and this certainly had more than a few chemicals in it—and Big Macintosh certainly wasn’t the artificial lavender type… nor was his barrel this small. In fact…
She opened up her eyes, and was greeted with by an alabaster barrel, and a few strands of a royal purple mane hanging down.
“Ra… Rarity?” She whispered, tentatively checking to see if the pony she was with was still asleep.
“Mm… Fluttershy, I thought you might give me a few more minutes. But, I suppose the time for resting is done. I hope you slept well?”
“Rarity,” Fluttershy rolled over so that she could lay on her belly, “What happened last night?”
“Oh, well, THAT is a story worth telling!”
Author's Note
_______________________________________________________
Caring For A Certain Stallion
“Ra… Rarity?” She whispered, tentatively checking to see if the pony she was with was still asleep.
“Mm… Fluttershy, I thought you might give me a few more minutes. But, I suppose the time for resting is done. I hope you slept well?”
“Rarity,” Fluttershy rolled over so that she could lay on her belly, “What happened last night?”
“Oh, well, THAT is a story worth telling!” Rarity clopped her hooves together, her excitement at the opportunity to regale her friend showing.
“But,” Rarity ever-so-matter-of-factly stated as she looked around the bedroom, “this is certainly not the place for such a tale of drama, suspense, and revelry!”
Fluttershy sighed inwardly; she could tell that there was going to be plenty of sidetracking in this story.
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“Well,” Rarity beamed at her friend as they sat down at Star Buck’s coffee house, “you said that you wanted to know what happened last night. What is there that you would want me to tell?”
The pegasus shuffled on her stool, “Are you sure that this is the best place to be talking about this?” she questioned as she looked around at all the other ponies within the café, completely ignoring her spiced tea, looking in the direction of some loudly accented conversation.
“Fluttershy, look harder at everypony,” Rarity gestured nonchalantly at the entire café, “or better yet, just listen for a moment.”
“Isn’t that—“ Fluttershy was about to ask before Rarity cut her off with a hush.
As Fluttershy began to just listen to the general conversation flowing through the café, she soon came to the realization—almost everypony was talking about their exploits from the night before. And almost every single one of them seemed to be so engrossed in their conversation, that one pair in particular didn’t seem to notice her staring.
“Okay, but I still don’t see why this is a better place to talk than—“ Fluttershy was cut off by Rarity quickly placing her hoof over her muzzle.
“They may not be listening now, but there are certain phrases that will get their attention, darling, and what you were about to say certainly reins at the top.” ^1
“There actually is a reason that I brought you out here. That being, I honestly can’t think of a place that jogs my memory better.” Rarity stated as bluntly as possible, “The espresso is also incroyable, if I dare say.”
“And you don’t think that the ponyrazzi wouldn’t just love to listen in on us secretly?” Fluttershy queried, as she the idea dawned upon her.
“Darling,” Rarity patted her friend’s hoof, “I learned one interesting fact from Fancy Pants the first time I came to Canterlot for an extended visit. There are certain places that the ponyrazzi have worked out with the celebrities around here, as sort of an… ‘agreement’, that they ‘leak’ a few tidbits here and there, and the ponyrazzi will in turn give them places where they can speak freely.”
“Wow…”
“And look again, Fluttershy.” Rarity pointed with her hoof, “Do you see anypony you recognize?”
Fluttershy scanned the crowd, wondering what Rarity could possibly mean, she noticed the thick accent again. She looked as hard as she could, when she finally noticed where—or rather from whom—the accent was originating. Photo Finish was loudly arguing with one of her mane stylists about some new policy on hair spray. She looked around again, and Hoity Toity was speaking with some unknown about something that she couldn’t catch the gist of.
“Are you quite ready to hear about the night? Or are you going to ask if someone drugged the tea?” Fluttershy jumped, but then nodded her head she realized that Rarity was being heavily sarcastic.
“I… all right.”
“Great!” Rarity clopped her hooves again, “So what is it that you want to know?”
“Everything…? If that’s alright with you.”
“Hmmm…” Rarity tapped her muzzle contemplatively, “Well, that certainly is a lot to cover. Where does your memory begin to faulter?”
“I can remember up until the time that I got back to Fancy Pants’ house after walking with Big Macintosh to the castle.”
“Oooh, yay!” Rarity giddily giggled like a gleeful gal gossiping gaily, “That’s where the fun begins!”
“Well, I was just finishing writing out the contract with Autumn Leaf…”
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“And you’re certain that she’ll come to you when she’s ready?”
“Sir, I can guarantee that when Fluttershy begins to look for a wedding dress, I’m certain she will look to me for it. I can’t think of anypony she knows who could even make one!”
“All right,” Autumn gave her one more look before finally letting that point go, “then I believe we have come to an agreement!”
“But we didn’t set a price for the first shipment!” Rarity blurted out, louder than she had intended.
“Oh,” Autumn chuckled as he watched the alabaster mare turn beet red, “don’t think that I forgot about that. While Big Macintosh was the one to point this whole thing out, you did play a role in all of the events that brought me back to my daughter, and this is the least I could do.”
“S-sir, that is far too generous than I could possibly—“ Rarity was cut off by a gregarious laugh from Autumn, which soon became a full boom of laughter, with Autumn waving to her to give him a few moments to calm himself.
“Oh,” He hiccupped a little as he calmed back down, “ ‘too generous’, from the Element of Generosity, that is a hoot. But,” he continued immediately after Rarity began giving him the stink eye, “I must tell you, what I did after Fluttershy left was more than just erase my memory of her. I damn near erased my soul with it.” He looked down at his hooves, and began to scuff them along the table, as a school colt confessing that he stole the cookie from the cookie jar would.
“When I erased Fluttershy and her mother from my mind, I was left with just myself. Each of us had been a single child, and her grandparents had died long ago.” Staring at a small gem he had brought with him to show for quality, he gave an inward sigh, and began rolling it on the table.
“When you have nothing but yourself to look after, you get greedy, selfish, vain. I had actually come in here, planning on bleeding you dry for each and every gem.” He finished his sentence with a growl, and then smacked the gem off.
“I honestly can say that at this point, I could retire with enough money to make sure that my great-great-grandchildren were well-off. I’m damn tired of hoarding every single last bit for no damn reason. I want to be able to actually care about someone again, and not be worrying about something vain!”
As his eyes went back up to Rarity’s, they were streaming tears. She made a move to talk, but was again cut off.
“But,” he said, wiping a few tears with the back of his hoof, “that doesn’t make you conceited. Your business, your passion, requires them, to make the best dresses and suits you can. You actually use them so that ponies can feel good about themselves, to help show the world that each gem is as unique as the dresses you put them on. I can honestly say you gave me the most passionate presentation that I have heard since I started this business.”
He hopped down form the table, and walked across to stand directly next to Rarity.
“Madam, I would be honored if you would use my gems for your masterpieces.”
Rarity blushed furiously as he kissed her hoof, and then excused himself for a moment to compose himself. She watched him amble out, his head hung high as a vigilante who had just admitted to taking down the corrupt king. How anypony could handle such an emotional roller coaster was beyond her, and she couldn’t help but admire his mettle. He had given up on ever having a family, and now he was suddenly being introduced to his daughter’s coltfriend, and—from what she could interpret—wanting to give up what he had spent all of the life he could remember building up.
“That poor stallion… I can honestly say that I’m not envious of him.”
“Envious of who?” Fluttershy called from within the doorway, causing Rarity to jump.
“I was just saying that I wasn’t sure that I have the mettle your father has shown over the years, is all.”
“Oh, I’m certain you could have gotten through it, Rarity,” The pegasus assured as she rubbed her cheek against the fashionista’s, “You would have had plenty of ponies to support you, like you do now.”
Rarity chuckled in disbelief, but accepted the sentiment.
“So, how was dropping Big Macintosh off?” Rarity inquired as she trot towards the door, her sub-concious telling her that if she moved toward the door, she would move the conversation away from her phonetic fumble.
“Oh, it was wonderful! Princess Celestia seemed just so eager to show him around the castle, she almost seemed to glow!”
“Well, it sounds like they will have a great time!”
“And with Big Macintosh gone, I’ll be able to have the whole day to spend with my father!” Fluttershy grinned as she let her mind drift to the thought.
“Oh dear, I should have figured that he hadn’t told you yet,” Rarity silently scolded herself, and began to break her friend the news.
“Your father told me that he has to go back to work— he’ll be back tomorrow, he promised, but he has to move several meetings around to be able to spend at least the next week with you.”
“Oh, okay…”
“But,” Rarity clicked her tongue as she thought of a way to cheer the melancholy pegasus, “that doesn’t mean we can’t have a nice time by ourselves!” She pulled a datebook out from her saddlebags, and flipped to today’s date.
“Why, it’s Thursday, isn’t it?” Rarity clopped her hooves together with delight, a devious grin appearing on her face.
“Yeah, what’s so—oh no,” Fluttershy began to back away from Rarity, as she had done under the fashionista’s questioning about the gala dress. “No, Rarity, you know how long it took me to get comfortable enough with Aloe and Lotus—“
“And it took me lying,” Rarity interjected, “and then blindfolding you halfway there to get you in the building!”
“I promise you, the spas in Canterlot are just as wonderful!”
“Rarity, I really don’t think that—“
“Oh, and the ones that have those foreign masseuses! C’est magnifique!”
“But I don’t have enough bits on me to—“
“And after, we can go shopping for—“
“Rarity!” Fluttershy snapped, finally damming the flood of ideas and suggestions coming from her friend, “If you don’t remember, I’m not exactly flush on bits right now, and I certainly don’t want to be such a bother to go and interrupt my father’s meeting to ask for them.”
“Well, I suppose you’re right, that would be rather rude.” Rarity tapped her chin in thought, trying to summon some idea of what the pair could do for fun.
“Though, there is one thing…” Fluttershy offered, after a minute of silence between the pair.
“What might that be?”
“I’ve, well, I guess that it isn’t that great an idea…” Fluttershy immediately backed down, as soon as she realized she would have to enunciate the idea.
“Oh go on,” Rarity implored, “I’ve got nothing I can think of, to be honest. Any idea is better than none.”
“There is this one thing Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are always talking about…”
“Oh,” Rarity scrunched up her nose as she tried to think of what either of those ponies could have to do in Canterlot that wasn’t terribly expensive.
“It’s a place called ‘Unified’?” Fluttershy offered the name, hoping that the name would spark some memory for Rarity.
“Well, I’ve never heard of it, but if two of our friends are willing to sing it’s praises, then I suppose we should try it. Do you happen to remember what sort of attire they usually wear to these places?”
“I should have realized it was a rave the second you mentioned neon legbands!” Rarity attempted to say to her friend, over the sound of the blaring bass, and general commotion of the club. Fluttershy continued to amazingly stay stock-still, even as multiple ponies bounced off of her, and continued their chaotic bouncing around.
“Come on, we need to get out of here before I lose my hearing!” Fluttershy grabbed Fluttershy’s tail with her magic, and began to trot towards the general direction of the exit. She had no idea how a pony was supposed to get out of this chaos, because of how the club’s entrance had been.
“Who designs a club to have a trap-door as an entrance in the first place obviously hasn’t read any building code!”
She shuddered as she remembered exactly how it had gone—She and Fluttershy had waited in line for almost a whole hour, that wasn’t the horrid part, they had expected that. But then, when they had gotten to the front of the line, the saw the bouncer pony pull a lever after the pair of stallions before them had stepped inside, and then they had to whisper “Spitfire’s left knee-high” to the bouncer when he had asked them how their day had been. That should have been their second indication that it was a rave.
“Oh, once we get back to Ponyville, I am most certainly going to give Rainbow Dash a piece of my mind!” Rarity mumbled to herself, as she finally squeezed herself out of the crowd, and into a slightly less claustrophobic area of the club, next to the private booths and the bar.
“Fluttershy, I think it might be best if you wait over by the bar. There seems to be enough air to breathe over there, and I need to ask around where the exit is.”
Fluttershy shakily nodded, and then meeped, squeaked, and apologized her way to the bar, and sat down on one of the stools.
“Now, who can I…” Rarity facehoofed as she realized that the bartender would obviously know where the exit was, and began to make her way towards the bar, only to be stopped by somepony calling her name.
“Rarity! Hey, over here!”
Rarity craned her neck to see if she could pick out where the voice was coming from, but could soon tell by the instantaneously spreading sea of ponies.
“Rarity, what are you doing here?” Twilight chuckled, the thought of the high-class pony coming here was certainly odd enough. “I thought you were supposed to be up here doing a business deal!”
“Well, I was—“ Rarity’s voice cracked as she attempted to make herself heard yet again, “But I—“ After her voice cracked a second time, Twilight motioned her friend to follow her, to a booth blocked off by three guard ponies.
“I’ve brought a friend!” Twilight told the guards, as she pointed her hoof to Rarity. They shifted to unblock the entrance the of the booth just long enough to let the two mares through.
As they stepped into the booth, Rarity saw the faint glint of a shield-spell, and figured that Twilight must have learned a few things from Shining Armor. When she passed through, the rest of the club seemed to suddenly go mute, and she could hear herself again.
“Anyway, what were you saying?” Twilight giggled again, as Rarity began to rub her ears as if something had suddenly blocked them.
“Well, it’s a story longer than I plan on being in here. Long story short, Fluttershy and I were looking for something to do, and she had remembered Rainbow and Pinkie Pie being absolutely gaga over this place. Why are you here?”
“I’m here to crowd-watch!”
Rarity blinked, prompting the princess to continue, “As a Princess, it’s my job to make sure that Equestria is as safe as possible, and that includes how the buildings are made. You see how everypony on the dance floor is moving in a counter-clockwise direction?”
Rarity looked over, and then nodded, prompting Twilight to continue on that there was only one fire exit at the moment, and it was behind the DJ’s booth, which was at the “top” of the square-shaped dance floor. She told Rarity that right now, she had been talking with the club’s manager, who had gone off for some reason, saying that it would be a lot smarter and safer to have exits at the top-right, and the bottom left of the dance floor, along with re-doing the doors of the exit to also be better suited as emergency fire exits.
“Oh, well that sounds… lovely?” Rarity tried to sound supportive, though she honestly could think of several better ways for a princess to contribute to Equestria, but if this was how she wanted to, then there really wasn’t any changing her mind.
“So, now do I get to hear the abridged version of what all happened?” Twilight asked once she realized that she still didn’t know what could really drive Rarity to such a place.
“Well, if it’s okay with you, I’d like to tell her what happened, Rarity…” Fluttershy spoke, as she tip-hoofed her way through the barrier, and to the booth.
“Oh, sure!” Twilight beamed warmly as she watched her friend sit down with them, “Sorry Rarity, but you tend to aggrandize walks down the street into something rivaling Socrates.”
Rarity accepted the statement, and let Fluttershy begin the story. When she had finished, she had been crying at quite a few parts, and asked if she could go to the restroom to clean and collect herself for few moments. Twilight told one of the guards to escort Fluttershy to the restroom, and then turned back to Rarity as soon as the pegasus had left.
“Wow,” Twilight was still a bit wide-eyed from her amazement at the chain of events, “That is certainly a lot for anypony to handle in such a short time.”
“Oh I know! I honestly can’t say that it hasn’t been enough of a rollercoaster for me, let alone that poor girl.”
“And what is Big Macintosh doing?” Twilight inquired, as she realized that one pony was still currently unaccounted for.
“Oh, he’s getting a tour of the castle with Celestia.” Rarity blushed, as she remembered her own tour she had received from Celestia, and how awfully important it made her feel.
“He’s getting a private tour? Wow, that’s unusual.” Twilight whistled as she thought of how lucky Big Macintosh was.
“And then he’s going to be spending the night there, so Fluttershy and I were left to our own devices, since Fancy Pants and Fleur were out for a date of their own.”
“Oooh, I remember the first night I spent at Canterlot castle,” Twilight’s wings flared at the memory, “It was so nice! She had even stayed up all night giving me a biology lesson!”
Rarity did a spit-take when she had heard the words ‘biology lesson’. She had read more than enough romance novels to know that no sane person has ‘biology lessons’ into the night.
“What’s the matter Rarity? Something taste wrong with your drink?”
Rarity coughed, as she shook her head, which made Twilight think everything was just fine, and her companion had just swallowed wrong or something.
“Oh, she had taught me so many things about my own anatomy I didn’t even know about!”
Rarity coughed again, and then froze. Was Twilight really saying she and Celestia had…
“Oh, it was certainly one of my favorite nights at the castle, I had learned so many things about Celestia, and myself!”
“Fluttershy, I—“
“Oh, it’s you, Rarity. I was just about to be done in here, I promise.”
“Fluttershy, we need to talk.” Rarity motioned for Fluttershy to come closer, and lowered her voice.
“I think Big Macintosh is getting more than a ‘private tour’ with Celestia.” She whispered, while glancing around at every word to make sure there were no eavesdroppers.
“What makes you say that?” Fluttershy bit her lip, which Rarity took as a sign of worry of the worst. Oh please don’t let her have found out somehow…
“Well, on Twilight’s first night at the castle, she had also received a ‘private tour’, which she had said was followed up by a ‘biology lesson’. An all-night, ‘I learned so much about my own body biology lesson’.”
“Rarity? I think you need to think for a second. We’re talking about Twilight Sparkle here.”
“Yes, what about her?”
“The pony who gets excited when they come out with a new encyclopedia, and thought that the word ‘slang’ meant a new kind of sling-shot?”
“Yes, and?”
Fluttershy sighed as she tried to think of how to get Rarity to see that Twilight barely even had a grasp on colloquial implications.
“She honestly thinks when Applejack tells Rainbow to stop bragging about their “rolls in the hay” that that’s what she means. And you and I both know Twilight is smart enough now to know what sex is.”
“Well, that certainly makes sense.” Rarity nodded as her subconscious slowly made sure all the puzzle pieces were extra snug.
“So, what do you want to do now, Rarity?”
“I think… wait a second, Twilight only recently turned 21, didn’t she?”
“Rarity, she’s a princess, you know she can’t drink in public!”
“Yes, but I wanted to show her why she shouldn’t drink period. Only problem is, I perform rather lewd—and occasionally painful, poor Caramel will never walk the same— acts when drunk.”
“Oh no…”
“Come on, you talked me out of the spa!”
“Oh… okay…”
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As she held up yet another glass of vodka, her hoof began to quiver. It had been about 2 hours ago that she had begun to drink, and she was beginning to show signs of being unable to continue.
“Oh, boy…” Her stomach began to feel a bit queezy, and she patted it with her hoof to ease it’s churning. She looked to the club, and found that the neon lights had suddenly begun to blend together into a sea color.
“You see, Twilight, this is why you shouldn’t drink. Okay?”
Twilight grimaced at the sour look upon Fluttershy’s face, and tried again to explain to Rarity that Princess Celestia had quite-well explained the dangers of drinking to her when she had come of the age that young ponies might begin to experiment with alcohol.
“Now then, I believe that Fluttershy will want to go back to Fancy Pants’ estate, she already looks a bit green around the gills.”
After receiving instructions from Twilight Sparkle on how to exit the club, the mares proceeded to step out. Fluttershy, on her part, seemed to have retained her balance, but was insisting that Rarity walk in front.
“You know, Fluttershy,” Rarity called behind her, “it wouldn’t be uncouth at all to ask for a shoulder to lean on.”
“Oh I know,” Came the response, which sounded oddly relaxed, considering that the pair was currently walking down a dark ally. “You just keep swa-… I mean…”
“What am I doing, dearie?”
“Oh, just keep going,” Fluttershy prompted on, snickering the entire time. The pair continued onward, until a drunken stallion stumbled out of an ally between the two. Rarity, who for her part, had begun rambling something on about how she honestly couldn’t remember seeing Fluttershy drunk before this. The drunken conversation didn’t reach her attention until she heard her name.
“Hey, did yer’ friend lose a bet or somethin’?” The pale blue pegasus whispered to his fellow drunk.
“Nope!” Fluttershy giggled drunkenly as she turned her attention back to Rarity.
“I just like seeing her cute little hips go back and forth.”
“Really?” The stallion looked back to the alabaster mare, and to his drunken surprise, they were in fact cute, and they did in fact sway back and forth as she walked.
“Shoot, wish my coltfriend had hips those cute.”
“Oh, I’m pretty sure everypony wished they had hips like Rarity.” Fluttershy and the drunken stallion both shared in drunken guffaws, even after Rarity turned to glare at the mystery fellow.
“Listen, Sir, I’m terribly sorry about this, but my friend here is quite inebriated, and I would like to get her back to bed—“ Rarity caught her slip just as the pegasi began to whoop at the unintentional innuendo.
After fuming at the still howling drunkards, Rarity grabbed Fluttershy’s tail with her magic, and turned smartly on the heel of her hoof and began to march away.
“Oh, come on, Rarity, are you li*hic* my…” Fluttershy began to protest, breaking into a fit of giggling after hiccupping.
They soon came to Fancy Pants’ mansion, where Rarity promptly dragged Fluttershy to her room, and tried corralling the inebriate onto the bed.
“But Raaaaaaaaaarity, it’s so coooooooold!” She whined as Rarity continued to shove her towards the ever-so-cold bed.
“Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t have the energy to play ‘Babysitter’ all night with you!”
As soon as Rarity was satisfied that Fluttershy was far-enough onto the bed that she wouldn’t just slide back off, she zipped over to the door, and slammed it shut.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Rarity sauntered victoriously to her own room, and drew herself a hot bath. She allowed herself to soak in the misting water, not exiting until she drowsily allowed her mane to droop partially into the water. After she dried herself off, she moved over to her bed, which was conspicuously messy. She couldn’t recall leaving it as such, and she would have expected the housing staff to have straightened the bed by now.
“Oh well, I suppose that after tonight I might be excused for my lack of grace in my sleep.”
She stepped onto the bed, and plopped her head onto one of the many pillows, when she noticed a rather pungent odor… an odor that smelled like…
“Heeeeeeey there, cutie-butt.” A drunken Fluttershy whispered as she crawled out from beneath one of the ruffled sheets to lay next to Rarity.
“How did you—but I—“
“I’m drunk,” Fluttershy cut off the stammering mare, “lil’ miss sexy-cakes, not dumb.” Fluttershy grabbed onto Rarity, with the latter trying desperately to wiggle away.
“Fluttershy, I’m feeling quite uncomfortable with this!”
“Really?” Fluttershy giggled as she rubbed her cheek against Rarity’s barrel, “Because you’re pretty comfortable to me.”
“Yes, but I don’t…” Rarity cut herself off as she realized that Fluttershy had fallen asleep, her breathing almost immediately falling to a faint murmur.
“Well, I suppose that is almost cute enough to make up for all this…” When Rarity tried to wiggle her way out, the grip around her became more firm…
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“And so, I was trapped in that bed with you until you woke up.” Rarity finished her story with a final sip of her espresso, which had become as icy as her glare.
“I’m sorry Rarity. I didn’t know I became so clingy when I was drunk…”
“I suppose it’s my fault for insisting on that silly little lesson for Twilight anyway. So, what was so important that you needed to know if you let slip?”
“Well, I…” Oh goodness, what am I supposed to say?
“Would it have something to do with your inebriated comments on my physique?”It’s better than what I was thinking, so…
“Oh, I’m so sorry Rarity. I’m usually not so rude but I—“
“Darling, we all have a curious side,” Rarity interjected, “I just wish that you had said something about it sooner. Celestia only knows that I began to question it myself after a certain somepony was such a prude to me at the Gala…”
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“And so, I honestly couldn’t believe my eyes!” Rarity, who in return for having forced Fluttershy to drink last night, was regaling her with the story of her first inebriation, “There Caramel was, still trudging on in the hoof and a half deep snow!”
“Oh, well that certainly sounds like you had him scared for a while!”
“Oh I did,” Rarity chortled as she knocked upon the entrance to the castle, “And it took a whole week of therapy before he would even speak without my say-so.”
The door opened to reveal a pair of guards, who then led them to the sleeping quarters. They were let into the bedroom that Big Macintosh was supposed to meet them, but were only greeted with a few stray bubbles. Fluttershy headed into the guest bathroom, to see if he was taking an oddly timed bath, with Rarity soon following. The cherry-wood doors that usually separated the two rooms were cracked open just enough for both mares to sneak a peek inside, to which they were greeted with a sight of Big Macintosh, relaxed as could be, muzzle deep in bubbles, with an icebag on his head.
“How ya doin’?” His voice sounded from within the giant mass of bubbles.
“I’m fine,” Fluttershy giggled as she stepped into the overflow of bubbles on the floor, “How are you?”
“I’ve got a new dent in my head,” He answered as he pulled himself out of the tub, furthering Fluttershy’s giggling at the sight of what looked to be a bubble-monster, “but other than that Ah’m fine.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that, sweetie.” Fluttershy pecked him on the cheek, as she handed him a towel, “And how was your night with Celestia?”
“It’s a shame we didn’t…” Big Macintosh stopped himself when he saw Rarity standing within the doorway, and adjusted his sentence to get the point across discretely, “Get to see everything, but Ah don’t blame her for it.”
“Really? I’m certain that she at least had a good time?”
“Ah’m sorry to say that last night tired her out, and she decided to sleep in today.”
“I guess that’s as good a way as any to end a trip in Canterlot, I guess.”
Big Macintosh froze when he heard that sentence, and asked if Fluttershy could repeat herself. She repeated it, and watched him sprint out the door, yelling something about being way behind on packing.
“He does realize that all he had to pack was two shirts and a tie, right?” Rarity asked as she watched the crimson stallion blast his way through the palace.
“I have no doubt he does, but one thing Applejack always told me is that he insists on packing his things a certain way, and it ruffles his feathers if he doesn’t.”
“Then I suppose it’s high time we followed him…”
“Hello, Fluttershy!” Luna exuberantly greeted as she trot towards the pegasus.
“Princess Luna, it’s very nice to see you!” Fluttershy dipped into a quick bow, before returning to her normal stance, “Why are you awake?”
“Since my sister’s indulgences last night have made her… disposed, I have been taking care of the Day court in her absence. I had been told by the guard that you had arrived, and I simply wanted to see you before you left.”
“You didn’t have to Princess, I’m certain that—“
“But I wanted to. What my sister seems to fail to notice is that many ponies have realized that we princesses—or at least I have been given this treatment—are not entirely bastions of righteousness. So, ponies are far more willing to forgive us for the occasional— and sometimes silly—indulgence.”
The lunar princess looked around before adding “Speaking of indulgences, my sister and your stallionfriend did not, if he hadn’t informed you yet, ‘done the deed’, as I believe the young ponies say.” She snickered to herself before adding that Celestia had in fact gotten so intoxicated that she had passed out before anything even remotely intimate happened.
“Did she at least have a nice night?” Fluttershy asked, with Luna replying that according to Celestia’s dreams—which were seldom and rather uncomfortable at times—that she had had a great time last night.
“At least she had a good night!”
“Indeed,” Luna agreed, before pointing out that Rarity was calling for her by the door. As she rejoined her, Rarity asked what they were talking about.
“Long story short, I think I know where Big Macintosh’s dent came from.”
Author's Note
^1: No matter the setting, two people talking about sharing a bedroom will turn a few heads.
