"Jj could you please knock for me?" The question was simple enough but I was pretty sure I really didn't need to ask at this point. He nodded in reply and knocked as I asked, they could only understand simple commands like this after all. I still need to do some more research on the brains in this world but so far it was looking like Gryphons were actually intellectually superior whereas Diamond Dogs merely had a fair amount of potential dulled down by their diets. While we waited I looked over JJ from my seat, he was about the average height for a pony and covered muzzle to hoof in his hazmat uniform, I couldn't risk having others see him and start annoying me after all.

We didn't have to wait too long at all, only four point zero eight seconds, and I could see why as I saw the one greeting us. She was a middle aged mare I'd assume, an Earth pony with a pale orange coat and a mane almost completely sliver. Seems she was starting to get degenerative joint disease in her front-right hoof, yet I could tell by her posture that she seemed more than capable of trotting through the earlier stages and I was only here for a single night so there's no point in giving out freebies. "Good evening," the mare said, bowing to Jj and I politely, "I am to assume you are Doctor Sally?" I gave a quick nod to confirm, ah I felt so useless sitting here with just two arms but the others are in with the luggage. "Then I ask you to follow me inside please."

Jj took his position behind me only for me to wave him off, there was no need for help unless there were stairs and I had specifically asked for a room on the first floor. Of course the first floor is almost entirely for staff so I had to pay a fair bit extra, they were also fairly reluctant to let me stay there because they were afraid I might vandalize it somehow. Well that was their excuse anyway. There was barely a lip as I rolled myself into the mansion and I was forced to question why their initial pricing was so low. Even the entrance was heavily decorated with pretty gaudy thinks like gem encrusted picture frames, gem encrusted utensils lining the gem encrusted front desk and even a gem encrusted bell adorning said desk. There was a thin layer of dust covering the front desk however and from the fact I was greeted at the front door it seems they may be running low on staff.

"Your room is right this way." Jj dubiously followed behind me while dragging my cases behind himself, even though he was as dull as a brick he was still very useful for simple labor considering most of his parts were from Earth ponies with a sparse amount of Minotaur. As I wheeled myself behind the old mare I couldn't help but notice how quiet the building was. Even though it was very large there seemed to be no one besides us. Ah I know what you're thinking, this seems like the setup for a secretly haunted house right? Well don't worry I made sure to do my research.

While I can't completely disprove ghosts I can search through basic facts and set up escape routes beforehand. I wouldn't have picked this place just because it was convenient. One there has never been a violent death here, in fact there has only been one death here and the old stallion passed away of old age, peacefully in his sleep. There was only one bridge across the river that encircled the mansion but it is almost brand new with fairly modern safety measures in place. The magical circuitry throughout the building was recently updated as well to make it more appealing when it goes on sale in... two weeks. My weather forecast should be clear for another three days at least and the Pegasus rain shift was another week away. There are safety latches on the windows but they were inside and were the only thing stopping them from opening. Lastly there is going to be a small patrol of of three guards staying the night here on their way to Stalliongrad, ah I'm keeping my source of info a secret okay?

So my stay here will most likely be a peaceful one, unless someone ends up breaking an arm or something. I've noticed a lot of people get injured around me apparently, or is it perhaps because I am capable of helping that I notice these things far better? Just as the mare was explaining the meal times and hotel etiquette, pointedly explaining how her and the other two staff members were here to help if I needed to get upstairs, and had just unlocked my room and handed me the key before a knock could be heard from the entrance hall. Those were most likely the guards. "Oh, I'm sure you understand everything Doctor but if you need anything don't hesitate to ask. Now I hope you would kindly excuse me while I tend to the other guests."

She gave a bow and a small smile before heading back, leaving me to wheel myself into my room and have a quick look around to memorize everything. It was a quaint room, simple bed, simple desk, simple bookshelf, and a simple box sitting on a simple bedside table. Unlike the entrance it seemed this room was meticulously well kept as there wasn't a speck of dust to be found, well not from my viewpoint anyway. As I wheeled over next to the bed I scanned over the spines of the books that almost completely filled the shelves. Unfortunately I'd read all of them so I would have to stick to whatever was in my cases for now. Jj offered to lift me up but I just waved him off, steadying myself as I held onto the armrests of my wheelchair and carefully falling onto the bed. I took the time to take off my mini-lab-coat and hung it over the wheelchair. "Ah sorry Jj, I just realized it but there isn't a bed for you is there?"

He didn't mind of course, he wasn't capable of being selfish or offended. "Why don't you take note of where everyone is for me? There should only be six ponies besides us but I can't be too careful." He nodded and silently left the room, making sure to close the door behind him while I propped myself up against the pillow. Usually I would have immediately gone to sleep for the two and a half hours until dinner but something had peaked my curiosity. The room itself was perfectly simplistic, not exactly spartan but not lavish either. There was just one thing that was out of place even as it fit with the room so perfectly. Reaching over I tried lifting the simple box from the bedside table, no luck, not even budging a millimeter. Sighing I moved my hands to the top of the box, to where I assumed the lid was but the grains in the wood so perfectly disguised the lid and the box that I would've missed it if I'd only caught a passing glance.

The front end of the lid was slowly lifted from the box and it didn't take long to realize what it was as a graceful song began to play. The small figures of two ponies dancing in a circle was held secret under the lid and it was all I could do not to stare. The music sounded somewhat familiar but I had trouble placing it, most of my attention focused on the two ponies. It was easy to tell that this had been a gift of some kind, even the inside was polished to a shine. Ah, that's why I had trouble placing it. Hesitantly I closed the lid, ceasing the tune as silence once again filled the room. Or I'd hoped it would but all I could hear was some obnoxious sounding creature yelling his head off outside. If it has a head, I haven't found many things without heads yet but I will keep my hopes high.

Without much else to do besides check over my things I pulled myself back into my wheelchair and made my wait out of the room. As I moved towards the main entrance area again I quickly cast a glance towards the windows, only an hour left until dinner, and without even having the chance to admire the scenery I had been run into and my wheelchair was pushed over. My eyes widened but I could barely utter a gasp before I was sprawled against the ground, a slightly louder thump than my own making itself known just a few feet away. "Ugh, watch where you're going, peon!"

The stallion didn't even look in my direction before picking up his own suitcase and walking away with his nose in the air. Ah, so he is here after all, I'd checked to make sure but I didn't think he'd actually go. The elderly mare who first greeted me came over with a worried expression, clear concern in her eyes as she fussed over me. I brushed away her fusing and thanked her as she set my wheelchair upright again, and I made sure to crawl in myself before she could offer a hoof to help. "Ah, I'm so sorry Doctor Sally, I'd heard the rumors but I didn't actually think he was that..."

"Crude?" I giggled as I started wheeling towards the dining area, the mare following along beside me. "There's no need to fret over it too much, I've certainly met worse creatures. Though most of them were a bit more intelligent." We both laugh quietly at that as we calmly move through the halls. There really aren't many pictures around here so I couldn't help but feel as though they may have been taken away after the previous owner passed. "Ah, I can't believe I'd forgotten to ask, what should I be calling you?"

She shook her head, her movements, although somewhat pained, seemed to perfectly meld with the design of the house as though she'd lived here for years. "It is fine Doctor, the fault lies with me as I'd forgotten to introduce myself. You may call me Mrs. Cleansweep if you'd like." Her smile was genuine but it wasn't hard to tell that it wasn't her best. I chose to return the smile as we rounded the corner to the large dining area. The extravagance of the main entrance apparently wasn't confined there as even the cutlery here had gem patterns inlaid into the handles. Cleansweep kindly pulled out a chair so that I could just wheel myself under the table and I took a menu she'd laid out on the table, only taking half a minute to decide my order and tell it to her with a smile. As I waited patiently I heard a clatter of pans come from the kitchen area. I would've gone to help out had I not been comfortable where I was so I continued to wait until a different mare walked towards me.

She was carrying two trays of food with her magic and the slight limp was enough to tell me she'd been the source of the noise earlier. The cracked lens of her glasses was also a good clue but that might have been from an earlier incident. "E-excuse me for the wait Miss Sally, here is y-your food." I watched her carefully as she placed the trays down in front of me and after verifying the order I gave her a smile. She returned it and turned to leave only for me to interrupt.

"Just a moment miss." She turned back and stuttered out an "I-is something wrong?" while I kept my eyes on her ankle. "Could you please lift your hoof for me, no the other hoof." She clumsily stood on three legs and almost fell over as I grabbed her hoof and lifted it up slightly. She winced in pain and I made sure not to move it around too much before nodding and turning back to my food. "Your fetlock is mot definitely sprained, I'd recommend you put some ice on it at least and spend eight to ten hours resting before walking around too much. The pain should go away in a few days if you're careful."

She just stared at me for a few moments before apparently realizing something and face-hoofing. "A-ah right, Miss Sally i-is a doctor isn't she?" I smiled and nodded before politely tucking into my food, the gems in the cutlery had been painstakingly placed so as to not interrupt the grip so I could only think that the one in charge had catered for Minotaurs or the Nekomata. I couldn't quite place it either but there was a slight oscillation to the cutlery. I didn't have too much time to investigate as Jj lumbered in and stood behind me to my right. I gestured to the seat next to me and the tray in front of it as I kept eating my soup. I really needed to hire a cook at some point.

He sat without complaint, lifting the front of his uniform so that only his muzzle could be seen before he began eating. To some his movements might seem smooth but if you looked hard enough you could see him shake slightly as he tried not to crush his meal. It was ten minutes into our dinner that the snobbish unicorn from before proudly walked in, demanding some kind of private table be prepared along with all of their finest foods immediately. There really was only a single chef here and while their cooking was great I doubt they would stand up to the quality of food served at Canterlot Castle. When the sun was finally setting the brat decided to yell at the nice waitress/maid from earlier about how long he had to wait.

He even had the gall to loudly complain about his food, I would've loudly risen from my seat but clearly that might have been a little difficult for me. Sighing, I wheeled myself back and quietly ordered Jj. "Get up from your seat as loudly as possible without destroying anything." As I wheeled past his chair he did as told, drawing slightly shocked looks from the maid and the inbred stallion. The maid smiled slightly as she used the opportunity to get away from him and walk back towards me with subdued haste, ignoring her sprain as much as she could.

"A-ah I'm sorry if the food w-was not to your liking M-m-, Doctor Sally." Even the she spoke with a worried tone it was evident that she was relieved to no longer be dealing with the other unicorn. I smiled to her, shaking my head and easing the rest of her tensions.

"It is fine Miss, I hope you'll mention to the chef that both Jj and I enjoyed our meals to the utmost. It would take somepony with a spoiled tongue to not realize the subtle charm of a well prepared meal such as this." The white unicorn scowled towards us, causing the maid to shrink slightly as I continued to smile. "You can be sure I'll be adding a slight bonus to my payments, I hope that Mrs. Cleansweep will be generous enough to split that between the chef and yourself."

She became a little flustered as she shook her head, though I couldn't help notice a slight flinch as I mentioned the chef. "N-no Miss Sally! I couldn't possibly take your money. I-I was just doing m-my job after all." This time I shook my head, uncaring of the stubborn pissant loudly making his way towards us.

"It is quite alright, this place will be sold soon won't it? If you can't take it as a reward then I merely urge you to accept it as my own generosity. And no I will not be shaking on this." She sighed and hung her head, ear twitching as she heard whitey angrily walking towards us. "Before you are to return to your duties in a moment, I hope you don't mind me asking for your name?"

This time she blushed slightly, a fair bit more flustered than earlier. "My n-name is Table Manners, Miss S-sally." She gave me another polite bow and a smile before fleeing in the opposite direction of the stallion. Not a bad name really, I'll make sure to remember her.

"Excuse me!" Proclaimed Sir limp-dick, apparently my current disability wasn't enough to deter him from his almighty tantrum. "I couldn't help but overhear you so proudly praise the food of this rundown cottage. You then even went onto such great lengths as to mock those with superior taste like myself? Maybe you haven't noticed, peasant, but I, Prince Blueblood, nephew of Princess Celestia herself am in a far better position to judge a foods worth. After all we have the finest chefs in Equestria personally prepare every meal! Maybe you are simply uneducated for not knowing these facts?" He scoffed at me and smiled proudly, closing his eyes as he looked towards the ceiling.

Really I couldn't stand those like him. "Ah Celestia you say? How is she anyhow? I'd heard that she was having a lot of trouble leashing some disabled nephew of hers that had trouble telling the difference between food and dish so- Oh dear, I should refrain from talking about such unruly things in front of a Prince like yourself. It is as you say however, maybe somepony who eats nothing but the finest foods like yourself is incapable of appreciating the dishes everyone else knows to be quite delicious." Metaphorical lightning sparked between us as I laughed gently, Jj picking up on my malice as he backed away slightly.

Blueblood was too dull to notice as he growled at me however, his composure long gone at the blow to his pride. Thankfully before he could dig a further grave, the fairly tired triad of Royal guards came into the dining area most likely in search of food and not work. The Prince smirked as he saw them while I merely rolled my eyes and started wheeling myself away. Once Blueblood had noticed he shouted at the three guards as if he personally owned them. "You three! Arrest her at once for defamation of the royal name!" The guards stood at attention and looked towards us, not making a move as they saw me wheeling past them. Seeing this, Blueblood got angry and started yelling curses at them while they shook their heads.

"We are sorry your highness, but by royal decree of Princess Celestia we can't lay a hoof on her as she has immunity." Ah, it truly was good I'd asked for such a thing in return for yearly checkups for her and her sister. I think she was more worried about her sister at the time seeing as she'd just been freed from the Nightmare. I didn't really have to do much besides encourage the poor Alicorn, but apparently my insistence on her maintaining a positive relationship with her citizens had led to her declaring us friends. I really didn't have too much say in it and she was a little brutish at times for my taste.

Lucky Jj, he didn't have to deal with friends at all because his brain was only really capable of a few emotions at a time. Even though he was only made recently too I feel as though I should reward him for his bodyguard service. Yes, I'll definitely give his body a few updates as soon as our work in Seaddled is done with. As I wheeled towards the exit though I was a little perturbed to hear another clatter from the kitchen, this time much louder than before. It was even accompanied by a loud shriek.

"Jj push, kitchen." I gave him a simple command and he followed, grabbing onto the handles of my wheelchair and rolling me to the kitchen as the guards came darting towards us. I was the first one in and immediately my rather bored mind began piecing things together frantically. The stallion whom I could assume had been he chef was lying in front of the middle cooking station, neck snapped slightly and resting against the bloodied wood of the station. An ornate knife was plunged maybe ten inches into his eye socket, I'd need to wait until I could get a better look, and a few other knives and cuts ran along his body. I couldn't help but notice how precise a few of them were, even if they were misguided.

On the other side of the kitchen area Table Manners was crouched into a corner, sobbing loudly as she stared at the body. The moment the guards came in they immediately began quarantining the area, calmly trying to make Jj and I leave as one of them went over to comfort Table Manners. Through a small amount of persuading I was able to get the guard to sigh and allow me to say, only for Prince Shitstain to come in and gasp at the sight of the corpse. As soon as he saw Table Manners I could tell what he had thought, "Guards, arrest that mare! It is clear that she murdered the chef here!" Ah the inbred nobility are so quick to jump the gun.

Author's Note

The music that the box played.

The main reason I released this as a two parter is because I wanted to have published something by the time Halloween rolled around, unfortunately I ended up starting on Halloween, then I got a blackout about halfway through, so I decided I may as well release something before the Halloween spirit is entirely gone. Hence, murder-mystery.

I actually was working on another chapter before this but then realized I'd have to push it back to keep things nice and chronological.