Ponyville 97

by AuTiSm

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Random, Crossover, Human
Length: 1148

The year 2097 has arrived, a herd of fucking ugly reds are rushing in through an interdimensional portal. The leader of. Equestria calls upon Bruce lee's relative Chin to wipe out the red communists.

The year 2097 has arrived, a herd of fuckin’ ugly reds are rushing in through an interdimensional portal. The leader of. Equestria calls upon Bruce Lee’s relative, Chin. For the massacre of the reds, Chin is a killer machine, to wipe out all 1.2 billion of the red communists!

Crossover with Hong Kong 97. I regret absolutely nothing.
Play this while reading. Required for full experience.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-05 13:38:59 UTC

Time to kill some reds.

As the ugly red communists reveled in their superior technology, they called for a full invasion of the pathetic land of Equestria.

As the crimerate skyrocketed, Celestia was forced to enlist the help of Chin, Bruce Lee’s unspecified relative. Chin was infamous among the fucking ugly reds, he left a trail of bodies wherever he went, and if anyone could stop the red menace it’d be him.

So in mainland China they began to resurrect the deceased Nytemare Mune to defeat Chin. For some reason, they just made her a floating head that crushes people. Feel her wrath.

“Chin, do you understand your mission?” Asked Celestia.

“Wipe out all 1.2 billion of the red communists!” Chin replied eagerly.

“No, just close the por-

“I won’t let you down!”

~~~~~~

TIANAMEN SQUARE – MAINLAND CHINA

As the military jeeps and tanks paraded before their invasion, they were greeted by a worrying sight; Chin, the killer machine began to shoot balls at them. Tennis balls.

As Chin’s balls hit the tanks they exploded gloriously, a disembodied leg landing in front of Chin. Chin picked up the leg and began to use it to beat more of the red commie scum.

“Shit.” Supreme general Cory Baxter said, observing the carnage with his binoculars, he had encountered many enemies in the House, but this one took the cake.

“Shall we launch the ultimate weapon laddy?” Said lieutenant general Shrek in his sexy Scottish accent.

Cory had an orgasm, that voice was a special kind of hot. “I dunno lol.” He responded.

“( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)” Shrek memed in response.

As Chin’s carnage grew, the Chinese began to withdraw.

“Fucking camper!!1” Yelled one of the soldiers, withdrawing from battle.

This had truly become a premise for the world’s best anime, nothing can possibly compare. Except Cory in The House. That was the shit.

As Chin began to gloat, he noticed the ultimate weapon Nytemare Mune accompanied by supreme general Cory Baxter.

“I’m gunna git up in ur house m8” Cory said, whipping out his 69 foot penis and using it as a baseball bat. Chin managed to dodge it, and shot Cory with a glowing tennis ball.

As Cory lay dying, he looked into Nytemare Mune’s eyes and uttered his last words, “1v1 me on rust k?”

“K.” Replied Nytemare Mune elegantly.

When Cory died, he exploded into a pile of Doritos and began to bleed mountain dank.

Nytemare Mune was left facing Chin, the final battle to decide the fate of Equestria. The two made constipated grunts and Chin took a huge dump right in the street.

“Now you’ll know why they call me iron dick Chin!” Chin yelled pridefully, charging towards Nytemare Mune, the two collided in an explosion of fedoras. Chin was knocked away, smashing into a 420 floor apartment building and landing on the bed of two people having sex.

“GET THE FUCK OUT!” Yelled le guy, fucking his gf.

“K.” Chin responded, before getting rammed by Nytemare Mune, causing a Chin shaped hole to form in the wall.

They landed in another room, this time it had Nicolas Cage, his pole dancing lessons had been interrupted.

“You ruined my pole dancing classes!” Nic and his teacher Conchita Wurst yelled in unison. Chin and Nytemare Mune ignored them and continued their fight.

The battle was so intense and dank it tore a hole in reality and the two were now in Rust. Memories of dank team deathmatches ran through both of their heads.

‘Iron Dick’ Chin shot Nytemare Mune with a tennis ball, instantly enlightening her.

Tips fedora.

The two battled in a barrage of disembodied headbutts and punches and kicks. Chin was losing this one and he knew it, even the training of Bruce Lee couldn’t help him. He was rammed again by Nytemare Mune, this time knocking him against a wall.

He felt his consciousness slip away, he knew this might be the end. With one final head ram, Chin was greeted by pure darkness.

~~~~~~

When Chin awoke, he was laying on a cold metal bed, he tried to move but noticed his hands and feet were strapped to the metal bed. He struggled, trying to break free but to no avail. He managed to catch a glance of his captors, lieutenant general Shrek and captain Tommy Wiseau.

“o hai Chin ahahaha.” Said Tommy obnoxiously, giving Chin the urge to shoot himself.

“You done messed up now laddey.” Said lieutenant general Shrek, shaken by the loss of his butt-buddy Cory.

Chin was worried, his captors were so close to his face their facial hairs tied in a knot with his. Suddenly, Nytemare Mune entered the room.

“Leave him with me.” She said, a sinister smile on her face.

“Alright laddey.” Replied Shrek, reluctantly leaving the room.

As Shrek and Tommy left the room, a devious grin appeared on Nytemare Mune’s face. “Now I shall finish you off!” She raised her head and prepared to impale Chin with her horn.

Chin prepared himself to meet Chris Patton, the patron saint of Hong Kong, but as it turned out, he’d see him very soon.

A burst of golden light engulfed the room, taking Nytemare Mune by surprise. The light coalesced into the form of Chris Patton. Chin weeped with joy.

“You! I thought I killed you!” Nytemare Mune sneered.

“You thought wrong. You cannot kill me without killing the spirit of Hong Kong itself!” Chris Patton said, lifting his arms above his head and forming a ball of pure energy. He hurled the ball at Nytemare Mune, knocking her against the wall.

He extended his hand and the straps restraining Chin disappeared, freeing him. “Lord Patton!” Said Chin, bowing down.

“My brave Chin, I shall entrust you with the powers of Hong Kong itself! Defeat the red communists and claim victory for Sagan!” Chris said.

“I won’t let you or lord Sagan down!” Chin replied. Chris placed a hand on Chin’s forehead and transferred his powers to him. Chris Patton disappeared after the power transfer, leaving Chin alone with Nytemare Mune. Chin wasn’t himself however, he had now become super Saiyan Chin!

Chin charged towards Nytemare Mune, uppercutting her out of the building. As Nytemare Mune tumbled through the sky, Chin flew up with her unleashing a barrage of punches and kicks, finish her off by kicking her to the ground with such force it formed a crater around Nytemare Mune.

Chin joined Nytemare Mune in the crater, unleashing a deadly can of whoop ass that was so extremely dank that Chin’s penis ejaculated, the semen pooled in his mouth and began to form a fully functioning society all on their own, before they began to boogey down to Eurovision songs.

Nytemare Mune released her last breath, she lay defeated as Chin took a leak on her corpse.

Another job well done.