Of Fluff And Feathers

by Moowell

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 6185

In which a pillow fight blows WAY out of proportion...

Long ago, in a tree doubling as a library, two ponies stood with pillows ready to beat each other until their instruments of downy destruction had lost their last feathers. Evenly matched, they traded blows until a voice of reason interceded, stopping the duel and leaving them without a victor.

Now, the battle resumes, and nothing will stop it until only one pony is left standing.

Published 2015-11-15 14:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-15 14:40:01 UTC

The Battle Resumes

It was a peaceful morning in Ponyville. The sun was just coming up to peek over the horizon, giving everything a slight ethereal glow. A cool mist suffused the town with a quiet calm, disturbed only by the most staunch of early risers. Risers like Applejack, who keeps to the morning through any weather, or Rarity, who prefers such morning lulls to get extra work done before the hustle and bustle of the day starts. As it so happened, Twilight Sparkle was also up early this morning, for similar reasons as Rarity's. She rested well the night before and found that a peaceful work environment did wonders for her research.

Research that was oddly out of place for a morning such as this, as the ambiance would later be described the 'calm before the storm'.

As it so happened, the night before had been stressful for Twilight. Both Applejack and Rarity vied for her attention all evening, preventing her from getting any work done, and it grated on her nerves. This wouldn't normally have been a problem, as her work entails helping groups of friends solve problems that are causing friction between them, but this time neither Rarity nor Applejack seemed willing to budge. By the end of the day, she had asked both of them to leave and come back tomorrow so she could rest and think on the issues at hoof.

The issue itself being Winona and Opalesence. Apparently, Winona had 'terrorized' Opal, who had begun to shed furiously all over Carousel Boutique. Twilight felt the problem would better be solved by Fluttershy, but she was out on a weekend retreat with Discord. Thus the predicament she found herself in now, searching through her trove of books.

"I know I had something on pet behaviors somewhere..." Twilight briefly considered getting Spike, but having seen him sleeping so peacefully earlier, she didn't have the heart to wake him.

Just at that moment, she heard the ring of a bell coming from the foyer. "Twilight, darling! Have you come to a reasonable conclusion?"

Twilight inwardly groaned. "Hello, Rarity. I'm sorry, but I haven't come up with anything yet. Just give me a little more time to-"

"Twilight!" sounded another, far more rural voice. "Did you... Oh. Howdy, Rarity."

"Applejack."

Twilight's fur practically stood on end from the tension emanating from her two friends. "Girls, calm down. Like I said, I don't have a solution just yet, but give me some time, and I'll think of something."

"Twilight, while you're busy doing research, my poor Opal is going bald! I demand that you make Applejack restrain her mutt!"

"How dare ya blame this on Winona?! Your vicious cat scratched her up somethin' fierce!"

As Applejack and Rarity devolved into another shouting match, Twilight's patience reached its limit. "QUIET!" The two paused and glared at her. "Girls, I've been trying to come up with a solution, but since you two are just going to fight over it anyways, go fight somewhere else! I can't think with you two at each other's throats!" Twilight's horn flared as she teleported back to her room where she could have some peace and quiet to think.

Applejack and Rarity looked at each other with fire in their eyes. "Fight somewhere else, huh? Ah think that can be arranged."

"Indeed." Rarity looked down at the seat cushions laid around the foyer. "And I think I have just the method to do it."

Applejack nodded, realizing Rarity's intentions. "Winner decides what to do with the loser's pet."

With a nod, both mares turned and walked to opposite sides of the room, each picking up a pillow...

AJ vs. Rarity

Applejack howled and launched her first pillow at Rarity, who leapt to the side to dodge. Rarity followed up with her own volley, which was blocked by a quick swat to the ground. AJ kicked the pillow back, following it with a second right behind the first, but Rarity picked up her own cushion and batted them away. The pair continued this small back and forth for several rounds, sizing each other up.

"A'right, Rarity. Enough warm up!" AJ picked up a pillow and lunged with a howl, startling the white mare, then slammed her backward with a mighty strike. Rarity quickly levitated a pair of pillows behind her to cushion her crash into the wall, then glared at AJ. Three pillows, each lifted in her magic swirled out in front of her and darted at AJ. AJ blocked the first two, but the third smacked into her and threw her off balance, allowing the others to come back and barrage her with a series of blows.

"Had enough, Applejack? I can keep this up all day."

AJ growled and dropped the pillow in her teeth, then pulled out her rope and flung it out at the swirling pillows. With expert skill, she lassoed all three of them in a single go, then swung the entire mass back at Rarity. Rarity jumped backward to dodge, but AJ just moved forward and slammed into her with all three pillows at once, sending her flying. AJ then released the pillows and barraged the white mare with a *thump* *thump* *thump*. Rarity stood up and shook her head, then glared at AJ. The farm mare was snickering on the opposite side of the room.

"Don't be so impressed with yourself! That was nothing!"

"Your mane don't think it was nothin'. Bahaha!"

Rarity looked up and shrieked at her completely disheveled mane. Then her anger flared and every pillow in the room, save the one AJ had just picked up in her teeth, rose off the ground and sped toward the farm mare. AJ's eyes widened, and she darted around, dodging and deflecting blow after blow until a pair of pillows sideswiped her and slammed her into the front door of the castle. As she got back to her feet, the entire collection of pillows smashed her forcefully against the door and launched her outside, sending her rolling in the morning dew.

AJ quickly rolled back to her hooves just in time to see three pillows rocketing at her from inside the door. She lifted up her pillow and smacked them all away, sending them flying upwards as she charged back for the castle.

Rainbow Dash snored peacefully on a drifting cloudbed, having been up much of the night for weather duty. It was nice and soft. Comfortable, even, cradling her in a smooth warmth with a cool breeze ruffling gently over her wings. The perfect snooze after such a long-

*whomp* *whomp* *whomp*

"What the hay?!" RD cried as three speeding pillows destroyed her cloud and sent her flying skyward. She regained control of herself before she fell, but she wasn't happy about getting woken up. She grabbed one of the pillows out of the air and glared around at the ground. "Who threw this?!" Just at that moment, she spied Applejack running toward Twilight's castle with pillow in tow. "Oh, it. Is. On!"

AJ vs. RD

Applejack was almost at the door when suddenly a blue and white streak smashed into her with a soaking wet smack from the side.

"What in Tartarus?!" AJ cried, upset at being caught off guard and hit with a sopping wet lump of cotton. "Rainbow Dash, what're ya doin'?!"

"Getting even," RD replied, still upset. "That's for waking me up!"

"What? I didn't do anything!" AJ retorted, unaware that she had, in fact, done something.

"Really, Applejack? Then how do you explain me getting hit by three pillows, and you're the only one out here carrying a pillow?!"

AJ considered. "Huh. Maybe Ah did hit ya."

"I knew it!" RD charged, pillow in hoof.

"Wait, Rainbow-!" She didn't get the chance to respond as RD slammed into her again, launching a full frontal assault with her pillow. Applejack did her best to keep RD at bay, but several blows made it the and struck her in the face, soaking it with dew and cloudstuff with each hit. Finally, she had enough. "Rainbow, quit it!"

With a powerful heave, AJ whirled and crashed her pillow, now also soaked with dew, into RD's side, sending the cyan pegasus flying without using her wings. The farm mare bucked two more pillows at RD, the ones that had flown through the cloud and finally fallen back to the ground, each striking home and smacked RD in the head.

Naturally, this didn't make Rainbow Dash particularly happy. With a growl, she leapt into the air and flew in a rapid circle to form a small twister which caught and picked up each of the pillows.

Applejack gulped. "Now, now, Rainbow... Don't get hasty!" Once it picked up speed, she launched the twister at AJ. "Whoa, nelly!" AJ tried to run, but the twister drew her in and barraged her with pillows.

"Hah! That's what you get for-" RD never got the chance to finish her sentence, for just at that moment, four pillows all surrounded her and pinballed her through the air until finally smacking her down to the ground, forcing her to take a bite out of the earth. As she stood back up, sputtering and spitting out clods of loam, she spied Rarity walking toward her from the castle entrance.

"Rainbow Dash, it is terribly uncouth for somepony to interrupt another mare's battle. You wouldn't like it if I did that to you, now would you?"

Applejack walked back up and stood across from RD and Rarity, and the three exchanged glances. "You're right, Rares. I don't like it."

"Then do be a dear and run along. I have some unfinished business with Applejack."

"Not happening."

Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack all stood in a three-way stand-off, each daring somepony else to make the first move.

AJ vs. RD vs. Rarity

Applejack and Rainbow Dash exchange a quick glance and nod, then both leap at Rarity at the same time. The white mare's eyes widen before she summons her pillows and defends herself against the two of them with two pillows a piece. However, she realizes it will be a losing battle if she stays on the defensive, so she leaps around to Applejack's side and swipes with all four pillows.

AJ jumps backward, letting Rainbow Dash fly in under her and slam into Rarity, knocking her away from the castle and out toward the Ponyville courtyard. However, as AJ comes back down, she sees a chance to get back at RD and brings her pillow down hard. Rainbow crashes to the ground, and AJ rushes after Rarity.

Rarity shakes out her mane and quickly does a self-cleaning spell to put it back into form before defending herself from Applejack. AJ swings with all her might, giving up all pretense of holding back against her opponents, who have proven themselves both powerful and tough. It takes two pillows for Rarity to deflect each of AJ's swings, but that still leaves two pillows open with which to return the assault. Rarity shields herself against one final attack, then brings her pillows to bear against AJ's flank, spinning her around just in time to catch a face full of fluff from RD's retaliation strike.

As RD and Rarity start trading blows, AJ realizes that she won't stand much of a chance against both a pegasus and a unicorn unless she does some fancy thinking. She quickly looks around and spots a nearby wagon cart right next to a building in the direction where her friends are going. She rushes over to the wagon, staying out of the fray until she leaps onto the cart and springboards up to the roof of the building. Once she makes it up to the top, she readies her lasso.

Rarity jabs with pillow after pillow, attacking RD unsuccessfully as the pegasus stays just far enough to dodge every strike while staying close enough to make her own. Suddenly, a rope wraps around one of her four pillows, just as it passes between her and RD, then flies backward with incredible speed.

RD freezes with momentary shock only to have the pillow slam into her and knock her sprawling backwards into the air until she finally regains control of herself.

"Surprise!" RD whirls to see AJ standing there, pillow in teeth and swinging hard. She tries to block, but the blow rockets her back at Rarity with its force. Rarity puts up her now three pillows between her and RD as the cyan pegasus plummets down at her, but they crash together anyways and roll a short distance. Suddenly, a pair of pillows tied together by rope slam into the two of them like a great, fluffy ball-and-chain, and they go tumbling sideways together.

AJ leaps down from the building and bull rushes them while they're down and struggling, ready to make quick work of them. Just as they finally manage to get to their hooves, AJ bears down and swings.

*BOOM*

AJ flies sideways, much to the surprise of both RD and Rarity.

*BOOM* *BOOM*

The two of them look over, then fly backwards, tumbling into the sprawled out farm mare.

"Why didn't you guys tell me you were having a pillow party?! I haven't been to one in ages! Oh, this is gonna be so much fun!"

The three of them untangled themselves from each other and looked up to see Pinkie Pie standing there with her party cannon, its smoking barrel loaded with innumerable pillows. As AJ gets up to face this new threat, RD holds her back.

"What're ya doin', Rainbow?! Lemme go!" AJ struggled to free herself from RD's grip.

"Wait, Applejack! You can't beat Pinkie Pie alone! Trust me, it's impossible!"

The three of them exchanged a meaningful glance, then rose as one, their pillows at the ready, to face the grinning pink mare.

AJ/RD/Rarity vs. Pinkie

The trio attacked as a unit just as Pinkie launched a seemingly endless assault of automatic pillow fire. Rainbow Dash immediately took to the sky to divide Pinkie's attention. Rarity stayed behind, lobbing her own pillows and strays from Pinkie's assault back toward the cannoneer while Applejack charged head on, swatting away pillows meant for her and Rarity as she pressed forward.

RD was the first to make it to Pinkie. Using her prowess in the air, she expertly dodged nearly every incoming pillow thrown at her, only deflecting those which she absolutely couldn't avoid. When she was finally within striking distance, she swung her fluffy weapon with a loud battlecry.

Pinkie dodged the blow and brought her full force down on Rainbow, sending her far into the air with dozens of pillows at point blank range, but that just gave Applejack the opening she needed. With a mighty heave, Applejack whirled her pillow in an arc, forcing Pinkie to jump back away from the cannon. Seeing Pinkie on the defensive for the first time, AJ pressed her assault. With the cannon fire out of the picture, Rarity brought her pillows into the fray just as Rainbow darted back toward their common enemy.

Under the combined force of AJ, RD, and Rarity, Pinkie quickly found herself being driven further and further back. AJ was a wall of might, impenetrable and impossible to get around, especially with RD and Rarity's pillows buzzing around them like bees. Pinkie knew that unless she could get past AJ, this battle was going to be short.

Applejack made a large sweep of her pillow, the pink pony leaping high into the air to dodge it. Got you now! she thought, and she hefted her pillow up over her shoulder to slam into her foe. Pinkie just smirked and twisted mid-air, just barely dodging AJ's blow and a swift, darting attack from Rainbow.

RD was not so fortunate, and was sent careening down the road by the unexpected friendly fire. "Sorry 'bout that, Rainbow!" AJ called, momentarily distracted by the accident.

That proved to be a costly mistake.

Pinkie Pie grabbed a fallen pillow and slammed AJ off to the side, then sprinted for her cannon. Her allies down, Rarity's eyes widened, and she pressed her assault harder than ever in an attempt to slow Pinkie down. Yet Pinkie was too quick, too nimble, and effortlessly dodged even the most precise shots from Rarity's little swarm. In just a moment, Pinkie was back at her cannon, once again ready to bring her full might down upon her enemies.

Rarity was her first target, the mare left virtually unprotected, save for a few scattered pillows from the first wave. It was all she could do to keep the pillows at bay as Pinkie rolled her cannon forward, until Rarity was forced to use her pillows as a dense shield, unable to otherwise defend herself from the closing onslaught.

"Rarity! Hang on!" Rainbow Dash flew swiftly back into the conflict to rescue her ally. Pinkie set her cannon to auto-fire to pin the white unicorn and grabbed a nearby pillow to face off against the new threat. Speed and aerial agility met land-based dexterity, and a dance of raging fluff ensued. For every pass Rainbow made, Pinkie countered. For every trick Pinkie threw, Rainbow avoided. Each seemed evenly matched, and neither gained much ground.

"Rainbow Dash! Look alive!"

A raging torrent of pillow fire bore down on Pinkie and RD. Applejack had recovered and aimed the pillow cannon at the pair, targeting Pinkie Pie. As Rainbow Dash flew out of the way, Pinkie leapt sideways and strafed, a huge grin on her face as she avoided the brunt of the pillows. Applejack whirled the cannon around, sending pillows everywhere as the nimble mare bounced all over the place to make herself a hard target.

It was a beautiful morning to sit in the park. Lyra and her friend, Bon Bon, sat together, watching the birds and ponies go by.

"Hah..." Lyra sighed. "It's a perfect morning. Don't you think so, Bon Bon?"

"Yeah. A little too perfect," Bon Bon mused. "I can't help but think something's about to happen."

"Oh, come on, Bonnie! Just enjoy the morning! If something happens, it'll happen when it happens. But right now, it's perfect."

"Yeah, you're right." Bon Bon and Lyra shared a smile.

*pomp*

"Huh?" Lyra looked down to see a pillow beside her. "Where did that come from?"

*pomp*

Another fell at Bon Bon's hooves. "Lyra, what's going on?"

"I dunno. It just fell at-"

"Look out!" Bon Bon quickly grabbed Lyra and brought them both to the ground just before a set of pillows rocketed past their heads. As they climbed back to their hooves, they heard an "Oof!" behind them. When they looked to see what happened, they found Octavia in a small mud puddle with Vinyl glaring at them and picking up the offending pillow.

"Hey, don't look at us! We didn't-" Lyra caught a face full of muddy pillow before it was pulled back by Vinyl's magic. The DJ looked like she was ready to start something. Lyra sputtered out a clod of mud and shook her head. "Hey what's the big idea? I was trying to tell you that-"

*POMP*

"Stay back, Lyra. I'll handle this." The sweets maker picked up the pillow at her hooves and stepped forward. Looking around, she saw numerous pillows strewn about the area and a number of other pillow fights cropping up, probably due to similar circumstances. Bon Bon sighed. "I knew this morning was too perfect..."

Caught in the Crossfire...

Fluttershy, Angel Bunny, and Discord looked out at the mayhem before them. Ponies everywhere carrying pillows of all shapes and sizes. Little ones. Big ones. Fluffy ones. Feathery ones. Plain ones. Embroidered ones. Ones with images on the case. Clean ones. Muddy ones. Dry ones. Wet ones. Stained ones. White ones. Colored ones.

And every last one of them used to beat the stuffing out of the pony across from their wielders.

"Discord... What's going on?" she asked the draconequus beside her as they stared down below.

"Hey, don't look at me! I had absolutely nothing to do with this!" he replied, raising his claws in defense.

"Really?" she asked sternly.

"As honest as Applejack, my dear Fluttershy. Though I must admit, it's made the morning quite interesting." Discord looked around. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to find a suitable perch." With a snap of his lion's claw, he disappeared.

Just then, a small pillow flew out from nowhere, directly for Fluttershy's nose. She squeaked, fearing that she would be struck, but Angel Bunny was quicker than the pillow. He leapt from her back and swatted the offending fluff to the ground with his feet. He landed on top of it and glared around, searching both for the one who threw it and for any others that dared to bring Fluttershy into this mess.

"Thank you, Angel! I thought that pillow was going to hit me for sure..." She leaned down and nuzzled his cheek happily before returning her gaze to Ponyville. "How did all this happen? And why haven't Twilight and the others tried to stop it?"

Angel merely shrugged before gesturing back up the path toward their home.

"I agree, Angel. It's much to dangerous to go into Ponyville right now. We'll have to wait until it all dies down." Angel nodded, then hopped back onto her back, and together, they walked back to her cottage.

Or would have, if Bon Bon hadn't just flown through some nearby brush and crashed into her.

Bon Bon stood up and shook herself off, collecting her pillow when she heard angry little squeaks coming from a bunny near her hooves. Not that she understood what he was saying, but she could tell he was mad. When he pointed at Fluttershy's prone form, she understood why.

"Sorry about that, little guy. And Fluttershy." Bon Bon bolted back through the brush just as Fluttershy started to stir. Angel just stared after her, his body shaking with barely suppressed rage. How could she hit Fluttershy, then just run off like that?! Angel stomped up to his mare's face and smacked it a couple times to wake her up fully, then pointed up the road and dashed off.

"Wait, Angel! It's too dangerous to go alone!" She chased after him, but her leg had been smooshed by whoever had hit her. She slowed down to a trot, nursing her limp all the way back home.

When she finally arrived, she heard sounds of ruckus coming from her house. Had the animals gotten rowdy while she was away? She hoped not. She would have to scold them if they were, and she really didn't want to scold them right now. Right now, she would love nothing more than to grab an ice pack, some warm tea, and a nap.

But when she opened the door, what she saw was completely unexpected. All the animals were standing at attention in rank and file, listening to the high-pitched squeaks of Angel Bunny from a stool on the far side of the room. When Angel saw her walk through the door, he chittered and squeaked again, pointing at her. All the animals stared at her silently, jaws dropped. Dirty coat. A favored leg. A pained expression as she limped inside.

"Um... Hello, everyone..."

Angel squeaked. The animals turned and roared in unison. He squeaked again. They roared again. One last time, they made their chant, and scattered, leaving an empty house and a very confused Fluttershy.

"Angel...? What was that all about?"

Angel's gaze softened as he looked upon her. He hopped down from the stool he was standing on and walked slowly toward her, chittering gently.

"W-what do you mean by that? What's for me?" she asked, leaning down to meet him at eye level.

Angel touched his paw to her nose and nuzzled her softly. Then he looked over her shoulder and his gaze hardened. Like a flash of lightning, he bolted out the door Fluttershy had forgotten to close in her confusion. Her eyes followed, and she gasped as she watched Angel climb onto Harry's the Bear's back, a bunny-sized pillow tucked behind the predator's ear.

With one long-lasting squeak from their leader, the animals roared their defiance and charged down the path toward Ponyville with pillows in paw, claw, teeth and beak to avenge their Matron.

Ponyville vs. Fluttershy's Menagerie

"Get back here, Vinyl!"
"Yeah! You show her, Bonnie!"
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, PILLOW WARRIORS!"
"Nopony messes with my little Muffin!!"
"My cabbages?!"
"...P.S. By frazzled, I mean REALLY frazzled. Please help!"
"Et tu, Cranky?"
"The Horror! The Horror!"

A great cacophony of bestial roars and squawking birds echoed over Ponyville, causing all fighting to stop for a moment. The ground underneath everypony's hooves shook as though a small earthquake had decided to rumble through.

"What was that...?"
"I think it came from up the hill. Isn't that where...?"
"No, you dolt. That wasn't my stomach."

"Look!"

Everypony looked toward the path to Fluttershy's cottage and froze. Some looked up in shock, others in confusion. All were silent. There, standing at the top of the hill, were dozens upon dozens of animals a critters. Dogs. Ferrets. Chickens. Songbirds by the flock. A bear. Each with fresh pillows. One little white speck appeared on top of the bear's head, staring down at the ponies below with righteous fury in its eyes.

With a long squeak that would send shivers down the spines of lesser bunnies, the animals roared and charged down.

Some ponies shrieked and ran for shelter, but many stayed back to defend themselves and their town, and all battles between ponies were dropped to carry out that goal.

Birds met pegasi in the skies, with groups of songbirds ganging up on their opponents while birds of prey battled solo against one or more foes. Meanwhile, the beasts of the land challenged the earth ponies and the unicorns in a similar fashion. Smaller animals, like rabbits and ferrets, attacked in groups or pairs. A pack of dogs clashed against a pair of unicorns. Harry the Bear lumbered through everything in his path, a seemingly unstoppable force of reckoning. And Angel Bunny darted to and fro, taking out stragglers that tried to sneak up on Harry.

The bunny and the bear made an excellent team, quickly tearing through the rabble of ponies. A great many who faced them either gave up and fled or were trounced from one side of Ponyville to the other. It looked like the animals would win the day due almost entirely to their efforts.

That is, until they came across a certain group of four mares.

"What do you think, Applejack? Shall we put aside our quarrel until we get these two sorted out?" Rarity asked, a set of six small, but firm pillows floating around her in a circle.

"Ah reckon that's a good idea," Applejack replied. Draped across her shoulders was a large, griffon-down pillow as big as her body.

"I'm in too, but don't think I won't come after you both once we're through with these guys," Rainbow Dash declared, carrying a thin, dense, pegasus feather pillow.

"Ooo! Ooo! Can I join in too?" Pinkie Pie asked excitably. While she didn't have her cannon with her, she still had a pillow as thick and round as her mane.

Angel Bunny and Harry Bear glanced around at the mares, surrounded but ready.

Angel/Harry vs. AJ/RD/Rarity/Pinkie

"This is bad, Harry!"

"You think I don't know that, young warrior? These are some of the Matron's closest companions. We can't rightly face them at full strength, else the Matron will become upset."

"Are you listening to yourself? Like you said, they're the Matrons companions. That means they're some of the most experienced ponies when it comes to battle. They may not have the Eye, but they make up for it in many ways."

"Even so, if we fight them like we train with the Matron, there will be no going back."

"We may not have a choice. I don't think they realize the reason we do this. They probably just see us as animals who broke free of our master."

"Hmm... In any case, they don't look like they will be willing to just let us go. All of them carry themselves with battle stances, save the pink one."

"Don't be fooled. If rumors are true, she'll destroy you as quickly as she'll give you a piece of cake."

"Is that so? What do you know of their fighting styles?"

"Only what the Matron has explained. I've never seen them in combat personally. And why are you asking me? You know as much as I do and you're the one with years of experience!"

"I'm just testing you to see how far you've come. You've done well in this little skirmish so far, but these four will be the true test of your mettle. Tell me, young warrior, what do you make of them?"

"Alright... From what the Matron has explained, and based on their stances, I'd say Tiller is likely the strongest of the group. Strongest and toughest. She'll be a pain to take down, and until we can, she'll be a thorn if we try to face the others."

"I agree. She carries herself with confidence, and her pillow is sturdy. What of Lightning?"

"Built for speed and she knows it. She'll strike fast and often, coming in to make an attack before darting out again and repeating the cycle. Even so, she's cocky and rash. Should be easy for someone like you to take down."

"Perhaps, if I have time to prepare for her attack. I'll rely on you for early warning when the time comes."

"Got it."

"Now for Needles."

"Needles is used to finesse in all things, so I doubt she'll make a straight attack. How she holds her weapons only makes me believe that even more. She looks ready to avoid our attacks and fight from range, should we try to close the distance. And if we throw some pillows at her, she'll just deflect them. With six weapons, she has plenty for both offense and defense."

"Agreed. If we are to break that defense, we will have to close the distance and strike with power. What of Surprise?"

"An absolute nightmare. As omnipresent as the air, as sneaky as a weasel, as nimble as a cat, as strong as she needs to be, and as unpredictable as Amalgam. To be perfectly honest, I don't think we could defeat her even if it was just her against us."

"Those are grave tidings, indeed. And I agree with each one. You've done well, young warrior."

"Thank you, but your congratulations don't help here. We're outmatched!"

"It does seem that way, doesn't it?"

"...You've got something planned, don't you?"

"Hehe... As sharp as ever, young warrior. Listen closely..."

Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie examined their opponents. The animals seemed to be having a conversation in their strange language, until finally Angel climbed on top of Harry's head, put his paws to his mouth, and let out an ear-splitting whistle. The four ponies folded back their ears, but the whistle still pierced them even after putting their pillows over their heads, causing them to shut their eyes from the acute pain.

When it finally stopped, and they looked back up, the bunny and the bear had disappeared back into the fray.

"It worked! They were completely helpless, Harry! We could have defeated them then and there!"

"It did work, but such a tactic only works as long as you can maintain it. If you run out of breath, or they manage to block it out, then the tide shifts back to their favor. No offense to your ability, but you are too small to maintain it long enough for me to defeat all four of them, which is why we fled. Do not expect it to work again. We will need back-up if we are to face them."

"Then let's gather the forces and regroup. Right now, we're too scattered to mount a sufficient attack."

The Final Battle

"Ah can't believe that little rascal has such a set of lungs!" Applejack groaned as she got back up.

"Indeed! That was simply dreadful!" Rarity replied.

The others nodded agreement and grouped together just as a powerful bellow roared over Ponyville. All the animals who still stood suddenly stopped their battles and headed toward the source, forming a tight group.

"They're regrouping!" Rainbow Dash shouted. "Everypony, form a group behind me! Don't let the animals catch you alone!" Everypony still carrying a pillow charged toward the charismatic mare, grouping up behind her and creating solidarity between each other, just as the animals had done behind Harry. Applejack stepped forward and faced the crowd.

"Ponies of Ponyville! This mornin' when y'all woke up, did ya think y'all'd be starin' each other down?" A few murmured noes cropped up from the crowd. "Did y'all think y'all would be swingin' yer pillows at friends an' neighbors?" Again, murmurs of negation. "Ah know Ah didn't. An' Ah especially didn't think Ah'd be standin' here starin' down several dozen critters from up over the hill. But that's where we are! Ah don't know why, but right now, Fluttershy's critters are standin' united against us, with pillows in tooth and claw, an' they're ready an' willin' to fight every last one of us until we drop!"

"But will we drop, beasts of the Matron? Will we fail her by allowing her slight to go unpunished?" A low noise came from the Menagerie. "I can't hear you! Will you let the Matron's slight go unpunished?!"

"Will you let them drive us out of our town?!"

"NO!" the small army shouted, its intensity only matched by the cacophony of roars and squawks and cries of the animals on the opposite side of the courtyard.

"Then let's show them what happens when they hurt the Matron!"

"Then let's send'em back to Fluttershy with their tails between their legs!" A unanimous roar rolled from the courtyard, powered by two armies as the charged each other, each ready to decimate the ranks of the other until none were left standing.

A shrill scream followed by a thunderous explosion silenced the roar in an instant, and a blinding light washed over all of Ponyville. All movement, all shouts, all thought ceased, except the instinctual need to cower before the unbridled power that pressed against every living creature that happened to be outside. The impulse lasted for a solid thirty seconds before it faded down, allowing the more bold creatures to slowly raise their heads.

The crystal tree was glowing with magic.

The castle's main entrance opened slowly, and a single figure walked out. A lavender mare, one both horned and winged, walked slowly toward the courtyard. Her mane was slightly disheveled, like a mattress that was popping its springs. Her eyes were wide, but her pupils were small, and they flitted around like sugar-filled children, moving this way and that without any sign of stopping soon.

"Good morning, everypony. Good morning, everybeast." She spoke with an unnatural calm that didn't match her outward appearance. "I hope you all are having a good day."

Twilight cast her eyes around, searching for two specific mares. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything important. It's just that I've been trying to find the answer to a problem some of my friends are having..." She spied Applejack and Rarity on the far left side of the courtyard, each trying to make themselves small under her gaze.

"...Unfortunately, I can't seem to concentrate on that very well, due to the racket you all are making. Now, I know you all are probably just having a good time beating each other senseless, and I can see the value of the exercise that this little war provides, but I really must ask you to stop. As Princess of Friendship, I don't think this is something that should be happening at all, much less right on my castle's doorstep. So again, I would really appreciate it if you would all stop this fighting. If you don't think you can do that, that's fine too. I'll just put an end to it myself. Thank you for your understanding."

Twilight closed her eyes and smiled at the crowd. Everything was silent for a long moment, no creature wanting to break the tension.

Until a small pillow hit her softly on the nose and plopped to the ground.

Her eyes glowed a brilliant white as she opened them, still smiling. "So be it."

"Oh my..." Fluttershy poured herself another cup of tea to try and calm her frayed nerves. As it turned out, watching the crystal castle spew out pillows like an enormous hive of bees and descend on the town didn't help them very much.