I'm really rather lukewarm about cake
“Thank you so much for helping me with the shopping, Discord!” Fluttershy said as she entered her cottage. “I wouldn’t have asked, but there was just so much to get, and I really didn’t know how I was going to carry it all.”
Discord followed her, his arms full of groceries. “Oh it is my pleasure, my dear! Anything for a friend,” he replied, placing the bags on the kitchen table. Looking through the groceries, Fluttershy frowned.
“Oh dear,” she said. “We didn’t forget to pick up Angel Bunny’s birthday cake, did we? Oh he’ll be so disappointed!”
Although Discord wanted to help Fluttershy and prove how much he appreciated their friendship, he grimaced at the thought of returning to Sugarcube Corner. Not that he didn’t like the bakery. On the contrary, it was quite a fine establishment in his opinion, but it did have one rather disconcerting feature – Pinkie Pie. Although she was fun and chaotic, truthfully, he found her presence a bit disconcerting. She made him feel strange. All jiggly and gloopy, like a bowl of green jello. It wasn't necessarily unpleasant, but it did make being around her for long periods of time difficult. For Fluttershy, however, he would do it. For Fluttershy! He thought. “Never fear, my dear!” Discord cried as Fluttershy continued looking through the bags. “As the gallant friend I am, I shall travel into the depths of madness itself and capture a cake for thee!”
“Oh don’t worry about it, Discord,” Fluttershy began, pulling an orange and white carrot cake out of one of the bags, but Discord had already snapped his claw and disappeared. “Oh dear,” she said. “I guess I should go tell him that I found the cake, so he doesn’t end up buying another one.” Suddenly, Angel appeared at her side and pointed at the refrigerator. “Right,” she agreed. “Discord would be upset if I let all his hard go to waste by letting the groceries spoil. I’ll tell him after I put the groceries away.”
Meanwhile in Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie was humming to herself as she mixed up a bowl of cake batter. She placed the wooden spoon onto the counter and dipped her hoof into the batter, tasting it thoughtfully. “Hmmm,” she said. “This needs something. What do you think, Discord?”
The spoon she was using to stir the batter with suddenly sprouted arms and legs and grew into a full-sized Discord. He tasted some of the bright pink cake batter on his head. It tasted strongly of strawberries. “It needs salt,” he told her, “but that’s not important right now.” He snapped his fingers and all the pink goo disappeared from his coat. “Pinkie, I need a cake.”
“Well then you’ve come to the right place!” Pinkie said as she sprinkled some salt into the batter. “What kind of cake do you need? We’ve got marzipan, chocolate, red velvet, apple, black forest,” Pinkie continued to list the different kinds of cake available for several more minutes. “We even make a depression cake, but I wouldn’t suggest that one. It’s pretty sad.”
“Yes, well,” Discord started, a little shocked by all the different options, but not wanting to let on about it. “You see, the cake’s not really for me, it’s for –“
“OOH! Let me guess!” Pinkie interrupted. “Rarity? Princess Celestia? Twilight? Nightmare Moon? Oh yeah. I guess that would just be Princess Luna, right? She probably wouldn’t like me calling her Nightmare Moon anymore. Unless it was Nightmare Night, ‘cause that’s when she scares us for fun! Oh I hope she comes back to Ponyville this year! Maybe I should throw her a party!”
Discord dragged a claw down his face. “The cake,” he said finally, interrupting her ramble, “is for Fluttershy’s demon rabbit.”
Pinkie frowned at him. “Hey! That’s not a very nice thing to say about Angel,” she told him, and then tilted her head and giggled. “It is kinda true though.” Putting the cake batter she had been working on aside, she made her way to the front counter. Discord followed. “Why don’t you get a carrot cake?” she suggested. “That’s Angel’s favorite.”
Discord scrunched his face up in distaste. “Carrot cake sounds boring. Don’t you have anything more interesting that he might like? Not that I really care what he likes. To tell the truth,” he added shyly. “It’s really Fluttershy I want to impress.”
Pinkie gave him a sly grin. “Somepony’s got a crush!” she said in a singsong voice.
Discord blushed. “I-I do not!” he spluttered indignantly. Honestly, he had never thought of Fluttershy in that way before, but Pinkie’s sly look didn’t go away.
“Sure you don’t,” she said. “Don’t worry, I’ve got just the thing!” She pulled out a bright yellow cake from the display case and carefully put it in a cake box. “This is Fluttershy’s favorite cake!” she said, handing him the box. “She’s sure to fall madly in love with you after she tastes it!”
“I told you! I don’t have a cru-“ Discord protested, but Pinkie cut him off.
“Don’t worry, Dizzy! I won’t tell a soul,” she promised with a smile. “Oh and don’t worry about paying for the cake either. It’s on the house!” She paused in thought for a moment. “Well not literally on the house,” she added. “What I mean is –“
“I know what you mean, Pinkie,” Discord assured her, rolling his eyes. “Thank you.”
“Oh, anything for my favorite draconequus!” she said, surprising him with a tight hug. In her hooves, Discord started to feel like green jello again. He quickly disentangled himself from her, but even though she was no longer touching him, the gloopy feeling did not go away. "Good luck with Fluttershy!" she said with a suggestive wink before trotting back to the kitchens. Discord sighed, not even trying to argue with her anymore. No, he thought as he watched her go. Fluttershy was definitely not the mare he had a crush on. He snapped his fingers and in a moment he was back in Fluttershy’s cottage.
“Oh hi Discord!” Fluttershy greeted. “I was just about to go get you. I found the cake.”
Discord looked down at the cake box in his claws for a moment as he processed this. “Well,” he said with a shrug. “Now we have two!”
