A kick in the butt

by Hyper44

Rating: everyone
Tags: Dinky Hooves, Other, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3315

A fanfiction short. A young colt from Princess Celestia's school for gifted unicorns lands himself in trouble after kicking his teacher in the butt. The thing is that there is more to the story than it seems.

After a student in Canterlot's school for gifted unicorns kicks his teacher in the rump Princess Celestia and Luna hold a mock trial to scare the student away from continuing such obnoxious behavior. Though when mock trial gets under way it turns out that there is much more to the story than it seems.

Published 2015-06-07 04:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-04 15:25:18 UTC

A kick in the butt

The sun hung low on the horizon in the late evening Equestria. The grand castle of Canterlot seemed to glow as the sun's rays were cast upon its white and gold structure. Soon Celestia would be out to push the sun out of sight beyond the horizon’s line and Luna would fly up to raise the moon. At the moment though just before the shift from day to night the two rulers of Equestria had a matter at hand. The two princesses flew into the throne room with their respective gold and silver shod feet never touching the floor. They each landed in their own throne and turned to face the door.

The younger, Luna settled herself and looked over at her sister. "So explain this to me again, sister. We are holding a trial over the mischievous actions of a foal. It's seems a bit much." She did not use her royal Canterlot voice when alone with her sister.

Celestia laughed. "It's no real trial sister, it's just made to look real. You see I have many students brought in to learn in Canterlot’s schools for gifted unicorns, pegasus or earth ponies and most of which will hold esteemed positions one day. When one of them starts to get a nose for trouble I have found that holding these mock trials can be quite effective. It gives them a look into the future if they continue down this path and pretty much scares them straight. I do feel a little guilty scaring foals but it diverts them off the path of doing much worse and reaping much worse in the future."

"I see. So tell me sister, what happens if you find them guilty." Luna asked.

"Oh I just give them a kind of community service to make up to who they did wrong too, or fix what they broke. That kind of thing. Then I usually tell them they got off lightly and that," Celestia took on a fierce tone of voice that resonated throughout the hall. "I will not be so lenient if there is a next time! Do not let me see you brought back here again!"

Luna laughed, "And this always works?"

"Almost always." Celestia said with a touch of sadness in her voice. "But those failures are rare."

"So who's the culprit and what is his serious crime?" Luna asked in a sarcastic voice.

"It is a young colt named Coal Coat. His crime is...(snort) he..ahem..." Celestia struggled to speak without laughing.

"Come on sister what is it? Share it if it is so funny." Luna prompted.

"He...haha..kicked his teacher in the butt." Celestia replied unable to keep from smiling.

Luan laughed. "Humorous yes but it is still a serious offence if he attacked his teacher." She said when she gained control of her self.

"Yes it is." Celestia agreed. "The student also punched the teacher in the nose when he rounded on him."

"Oh, my. A rather fiery and violent student we have." Luna commented.

"Yes, but still a foal not even to his teen years so I will be lenient and try to scare him straight with this trial." Celestia replied. She raised her head and called to the guards who were standing on the far end of the throne room. "Bring forth the accused, the accuser and the witness so that the trial may begin!" She called in a thunderous voice.

"I see you still use the royal Canterlot voice from time to time." Luna said with a smile.

"I admit that it is effective. I can see why you like it so much." Princess Celestia replied smiling back.

A few minutes later the guards came back escorting the head teacher of Celestia's school for gifted unicorns and his entire class. The teacher, Rembrandt walked with the confidant sway of somepony used to authority and his head was held high. That only made his bandaged nose all the more evident. Luna coughed and put a hoof over her mouth. Only Celestia knew she was covering a laugh and she didn't blame her. Rembrandt did look pretty ridiculous.

The accused colt was what one expected from his name, Coal Coat. His coat was a nice ebony black. His mane and tail was a dirty white and he sported a cutie mark designating him for magic. He walked in a crouch with his head down and eyes staring at the floor. His classmates who walked in a separate group kept looking from him to the princesses on the throne with sympathy.

When the procession halted near the foot of the thrones Princess Celestia looked down at them. She started to feel pretty bad for the colt as did Luna but assaulting a teacher could not go unpunished and he was not going to get any serious sentence. "Let the trial begin." She announced and pointed a hoof at the guard who took his place between the other ponies and the thrones. "What does this colt stand accused of?"

"Kicking his teacher in the butt-" Luna coughed hard again. "And then punching him in the nose." The guard finished as if nothing happened.

"I see," Princess Celestia stated making sure to keep a serious expression. She looked at the teacher of the class. "You agree that this is accurate?"

"Yes! When I was talking to another student he kicked me right in the butt-" He started in a voice made nasal because of his swollen nose. Luna burst into a serious of coughs.

"Luna!" Celestia hissed leaning over to her sister. "Please keep it under control."

"I'll try sister but his voice is too much. Let's just change it to assaulted rather than kicked in the butt or I will laugh mine off."

Celestia nodded and turned her attention back to the teacher. "In short you say he assaulted you with a kick and a punch, correct."

"Yes." Rembrandt stated nodding firmly. "He's an unruly colt that has no respect for his elders!"

Celestia turned and looked at Coal Coat who was still staring at the ground. "Did you do these things?" She asked and the colt nodded. "And what do you have to say for yourself?"

Still staring at the floor Coal Coat started to speak the words, "I'm sorry." He barely got past the first syllable before he suddenly stopped. He clamped his mouth shut and straightened up to his full knee high height. He raised his head to look straight at the two princesses and took a deep breath, puffing out his little chest. "Yes I did it!" He declared. "I'd do it again!"

The room fell to a dead quite, everypony forgetting to breathe including the princesses as they looked on in shock. If a feather had fallen from the wing of a pegasus you would have heard it. The little colt did not flinch but kept staring at the two sisters. His teacher was the first to find words.

"You see! He's such-"

Princess Luna held up a hoof, silencing him. She looked at the colt who stared right back. "Is thou resolute in thine decision?" She asked. Coal Coat blinked at her, some of his resoluteness fading into confusion.

"Are you sure that is what you want to say?" Princess Celestia translated for him.

"Yes!" The colt said with a firm nod, his chest swelling up again as he stood as tall as he could.

"And what has made thee decide such?" Luna asked.

"Because he is an incorrigible-" The teacher tried to answer for him.

"I will hear it from the young colt!" Luna stated fiercely giving him a glare. "Hast thou forgotten the rules of the court?" Rembrandt shrank back, "I..I'm but it's..."

Silence!" Luna snapped, "Or I will have thou removed from this room." With that she turned back to the colt. "Answer the question. Why hast thou decided so?"

"Because it was the right thing to do," he said. Luna and Celestia looked at him, surprised at the answer he gave.

"How is striking thine teacher the right thing to do?" Luna pressed.

"Because of what he was saying to Dinky!" Coal Coat replied.

"I was merely reprimanding a student for their carelessness." Rembrandt jumped in. "It’s part of my job as a teacher and-"

"Calling her stupid is not your job!" Coal Coat shrieked at him. The room went silent again and Rembrandt became visibly nervous. "I..I..I..how dare you. Your majesties you can't listen to such an-"

"Everyone gets a chance to tell their side." Princess Celestia stated. She looked back at Coal Coat. "Tell us everything that happened." All eyes turned to the young colt and Rembrandt pawed nervously at the floor.

"Dinky was having a hard time getting a spell right. She kept messing up and Mr. Rembrandt started getting red in the face then suddenly he yelled at her."

"Your highnesses!" Rembrandt interrupted. "Surely you can't take his word over-"

"Thou shalt be quite or I will have a guard muzzle thee." Luna snapped and he shrank back looking ready to faint. She turned back to Coal Coat. "Go on."

"He called her stupid and said she didn’t belong here." Coal Coat went on with angry fire building in his eyes as he recounted the words of Rembrandt. "He said that the only reason that she was here was because you felt sorry for her and her mother. She started crying but he still kept yelling. I told him to stop but he yelled at me to shut up. I had to stop him! Since he wouldn't listen I just kicked him. He was turned around so the closest thing to me was his butt so I just kicked that! When he spun around he looked so angry I was afraid that he might hit me or something so I punched him in the nose." As the words poured out of the colts' mouth Rembrandt shrank lower and lower to the floor.

"Is this true, Rembrandt?" Celestia asked when the colt was finished.

"Your highness..I..of course I would never-"

"Make sure that you do not lie to us," Celestia stated.

Rembrandt shifted on his hoofs for a time, he mumbled from his bowed position then finally asked. "Do I have the right to remain silent?"

"Yes but doing so, whether innocent or guilty will leave thine fate in the hands of thine accusers, “Luna replied then looked at Coal Coat's classmates. "Let the one named Dinky come forth." She stated. The foals couldn’t understand all her words but they could understand enough to know what she wanted. The little crowd parted and Dinky inched forward nervously.

"Did thine teacher say such things to thee?" Luna asked. Little Dinky nodded without looking up and Luna looked at the other class members. "Do you all agree that what Coal Coat said was true?" Every little head bobbed up and down.

"Your majesties..I..I" Rembrandt started but his voice died in his throat as the two princesses looked at him.

"I will ask a question which only requires a yes or no," Celestia said. "You don't have to answer and can remain silent if you want but that as Luna said will be no help to you. Are these things true as the colt has stated?"

Rembrandt shifted on his hoofs, he started off on an explanation a couple times but each time let his voice trail off. He finally sighed and looked as if all the fight deflated out of him. "Yes, your highness." he finally said and knelt bowing so low that his bandaged nose touched the floor.

"Luna and I shall discuss this trial and then render our decision." Celestia stated. With that they both got up and walked to one of the windows that was the farthest away from the group. For several minutes they whispered while the court watched in tense silence. Rembrandt stayed kneeling on the floor looking very defeated.

Finally after what seemed like ages the two sisters came back and sat on their thrones. They looked down at their subjects letting the suspense build up a moment longer. Celestia couldn’t help but smile slightly as Coal Coat continued to stand firm, ready to take whatever came. Even among trained soldiers that was rare.

"My sister and I hath made a ruling." Luna announced. She pointed a silver shod hoof at Coal Coat who still did not flinch and the eyes of his classmates nervously looked on. "For thine transgression thou shat be taken to the royal dining room where thou shalt be sentenced to eat cake and cookies until thine stomach can hold no more." Coal Coat's firm pose loosened slightly as his mind tried to process this. It was not at all what he had expected. Luna moved on pointing a hoof at his classmates. "Sine all of you stood on his side you shalt share in his fate." The foals stared blankly a moment then broke into cheers. "Guard take the foals to their punishment." Even with using her royal Canterlot voice Luna couldn’t keep her tone from betraying a bit of laughter.

When the cheering and chattering foals were escorted out the room was left in a dead silence and Rembrandt alone with the two royal sisters. Celestia was the first to speak, "Explain why I should not give you a kick in the butt myself?"

Rembrandt cringed, still not daring to look up. "I would not blame you if you did kick me right out the front doors." He replied in the voice of someone entirely giving up the fight to explain away or hide his sins. "I'm so sorry. The filly Dinky I felt was a burden that was thrust into my class. She is terrible at performing any kind of magic and even something so simple as levitating was difficult for her. Every lesson ran so long because I had to spend so much time on her. I snapped today. I know though that I had no right to be so angry and do what I did."

The expression of Celestia softened at his repentant tone and the anger faded. "Rembrandt," She said. "There was once a pony, Albert Equine who stated that, 'Everypony is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will live its whole live believing that it is stupid.' He was a very smart pony but even he could recognize that he did not know it all. Remember these things next time you see little Dinky."

Rembrandt nodded. "I'll will. I guess I did need a kick in the butt to learn that." He said. "May I go apologize to young Dinky and Coal Coat?" He asked with a voice that almost sounding pleading in his eagerness to right his wrong.

"Yes, go and keep this in mind so that thou does not ruin thine career in the future." Luna said.

"I will and thank your gracious majesties!" Rembrandt replied. He bowed again and took off to follow the procession of foals.

"Well sister this turned out not to be as I expected." Celestia said after he was gone.

"I did not expect it either." Luna said stretching her wings. "That is quite a brave and noble young colt."

"Yes he is." Celestia said standing up. "I shall keep an eye on him. In the meantime I do believe it is time for me to lower the sun and you to raise the moon."

"I think we're a couple minutes late actually." Luna replied following her sister to the windows. "Then shall we go join the foals and partake in their punishments?" Luna asked with a smile as they opened their wings to fly out.

Celestia laughed. "I don't see why not."

THE END

Afterwards

It had been a few weeks since the mock trial. Rembrandt was trying to make up for his past mistakes by being the best teacher he could be for Coal Coat and Dinky as well as the others. It was still a bit awkward after the fact but they pretended it wasn’t. Little Dinky was probably the only one who had truly put in behind her. That was one of the remarkable things about her that he was learning to recognize now. He watched her from his desk as she worked on the latest assignment. She didn't look up as she kept looking to her book and then going back to writing on her paper. The little filly did look super focused. Unlike the others she didn't keep constantly groaning.

"Remember class this magical code uses both a numerical and alphabetical shift." He said.

"It's impossible." One Filly groaned. "We've been working on it for days." She plopped her head down on her desk.

Rembrandt smiled. "You’re only graded on your effort. Remember that even Princess Luna and Celestia took many years to master it. Princess Cadance never has and Princess Twilight is still learning it. Most never learn it let alone master it so don't be frustrated."

"It's still frustrating." The student grumbled.

"Just keep trying."

"Excuse me sir, I'm finished." A small voice spoke up from the side of his desk. Rembrandt looked down to see Dinky holding her paper.

"Well let's take a look." He said as he took the paper. Multiple students had walked up thinking that they had finally gotten it only to have to try again. Rembrandt hopped that she wouldn't be too disappointed when she found out it was wrong. He opened the book with the answers and found the problem that she had been given. He blinked at the page then back at the paper to back at the book again. It took a moment for his mind to process the situation so that he could speak. "That's correct." He finally said. Every head in the classroom snapped up. Jaws hung agape and eyes were wide.

"Here try this one." Rembrandt said handing her another problem to decipher. Dinky chewed on the end of her quill a moment then started. Rembrandt couldn’t imagine her cheating, that was impossible for that little filly to do so but this was something that even ponies like Starswirl the bearded had trouble with. His mind could not compute this.

One by one the student's started slipping out of their seats and creeping over to watch. They all stared as slowly, bit by bit the spell in hidden code came together. In about ten minutes she was finished and pushed the paper back to Rembrandt. He flipped the pages of the answer book until he found it. It was correct. He handed her another paper and in about the same amount of time she had solved it.

"How do you do that?" He asked astounded and everyfoal leaned forward to hear.

Dinky just shrugged. "It's like a picture." She said pointing to the paper. "Or a connect the dots puzzle, you just put it together." She looked at them as if it was so obvious.

Rembrandt could not understand how she saw a picture in in but apparently it worked. "Stay right here." He said and bolted to the door. "I'll be right back." He stated and darted out. They could hear him all the way down the hall yelling, "Princess Celestia! You have to see this! You were right! OH! I have a student that's a genius! Princess Luna Princess Celestiaaaaa!"

The other fillies and colts stared at her Dinky with an expression similar to reverence. Dinky looked back unable to understand what the big deal was about.

“I knew you could do it!” Coal Coat yelled rushing forward to hug her. “I knew you were a genius!”

Author's Note

I wasn't planning to add more but this seemed a better conclusion to the story.