The Long Lost 576th Element

by Super Trampoline

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Drama, Science Fiction
Length: 3365

Back in the day, alicornication used to be a big deal. But now? I plant some flowers on an asteroid, and next thing I know, I get a prosthetic horn and a gym membership in the mail. My name is Snicker Doodle, and I'm the Princess of Dandelions.

Back in the day, alicornication used to be a big deal. But now? I plant some flowers on an asteroid, and next thing I know, I get a prosthetic horn and a gym membership in the mail. My name is Snicker Doodle, and I'm the Princess of Dandelions.

Once, alicornication was reserved for legendary ponies who accomplished legendary achievements. Me? I plant some flowers on an asteroid, and next thing I know, I get a prosthetic horn and a gym membership in the mail. My name is Snicker Doodle, and I a

Legend holds that long ago, when Twilight Sparkle of the Evening Sky ascended to princesshood, she walked among the ethereal plains, and it was there that she received her wings and strength. When Celestia decided it was my time to become a princess, I got a prosthetic horn and a gym membership in the mail. My name is Snicker Doodle, and I am the Princess of Dandelions.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-07 18:22:53 UTC

planning

value

Title: The Long Lost 576th Element

Story Summary: [Pinkie Pie Swear this is NOT a trollfic!]

[justified]They say that long ago, when Twilight Sparkle of the Evening Sky ascended to princesshood, she walked among the ethereal plains, and it was there that she received her wings and strength. When Celestia decided it was my time to become a princess, I got a strap-on horn and a gym membership in the mail. My name is Snicker Doodle, and I am the Princess of Dandelions.[/justify]

Opening Scene: HERE

Goal: write a good 4,000 to 14,000 25,000 word slice of life about Snicker Doodle, princess of Dandelions. figure out where on computer your picture of snicker doodle is.

3B370Q6230EDDB80FE741700201A994FE8K183700520000080CC733FFF7FFF02107F3FCC004CB2

http://generalzoi.deviantart.com/art/Pony-Creator-Full-Version-254295904

work very hard on doing show not tell.

have her explain to one of Earstwhile's students why she's a princess

Who: Snicker Doodle, a brown and tan pegasus mare. I think she's 28.

character traits: has mild ADHD: flighty like a dandelion seed

pretty cynical, but very sweet. self aware of her faults, and somewhat annoyed when they are pointed out

Pretty good baker, but finds baking somewhat boring.

feels somewhat trapped on this astroid; loves flying (what pegasus doesn't?

Her coltfriend, Earstwhile, a batpony student teacher who is twenty five. suffers from wiggity wack sleeping schedule and insomnia on acount of being a bat pony trying to live on artificial timescale and teach kids when he should be sleeping. Huge coffee snob. Tries to bring out the best in SnickerDoodle. what does he like about her?

How did they meet? Who else shows up? she visited the class he was student teaching? No, timeline isn't right if they've been together for 3.5 years. as comment in opening suggests. well, he wasn't her coltfriend yet! They live together. This is a rated E story. no sex. though heat recently ended? actually wouldn't heat be randomized if on an astroid? perhaps they have artificial lighting; it's something that happens in real horses after all: artificial estrus. Maybe that's what spring break is for.

Maybe make a teen version and an easy version and maybe an inversion

He runs his sharp teeth through my fur, and I emit a low moan.

Snicker Doodle's parents: ???????

Where: an astroid. need to come up with a name for it. Falabella population? 50,000. mining: Iron? not sure. size? 15 miles long, 7 miles wide, 4 miles deep. potato shaped. What technology do they have? why are they mining it? how far is it from Equestria?

largest segment of population is earth ponies and earth-unicorn hybrids (somewhat more common now-adays.

has space travel within solar system that astroid is in. Or is astroid in deep space? do ponies have technology to change astroid trajectory? If the sun and moon are sort of projections that Celestia and Luna move, is it because their planet actually circles a dwarf star that is very dim? Or perhaps is hurling through space, having been ejected from a solar system before Luna and Celestia found it. Goodness this story requires a lot of research!

Do they have mining machines yet? Silica info source: https://www.mineralseducationcoalition.org/minerals/silica

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asteroid_mining

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_dwarf

In deep space there are clouds of chaos. Smaller ones break up against the very strong fields. They move the entire astroid to avoid larger ones.  Maybe most the ponies live underground/in the asteroid to avoid cosmic radiation? Did they know about cosmic radiation? probably some ponies started getting cancer early in space exploration? Did celestia and luna know about it from before they started to explore the stars?

Membrane is self-healing, but slightly leaks and so atmosphere must be replenished on occasion.

Fairly post-scarcity society; part of reason for SD's ennui. Also look at listlessness of the post college crowd.

spells: ponies import atmosphere? import magic? have a flying area with no oxygen but ambient magic? within shield dome? Dip letters in liquid dragon fire? do they have computers yet? Isn't that what the story is about? But in human times, before we had transistors we had vacuum tubes!

What: what characteristics do dandelions have?

How would this reflect in the element of Dandelions

as princess of dandelions?

Her mentor is Lunchtime Luster, who tries to use sandwich metaphors for everything. Open each chapter with a sandwich metaphor.

Explore the increasingly political and goodwill and honorary roll of princesses. not many princes?

explore elements vs princess

include how she became a princess. perhaps Cadance was there. when did it happen

Contrast her childhood experience with her saturday experience. Maybe to avoid exposition dump, have dream sequence for childhood?

[left]Maybe what earns her the alicornication is planting a dandilion as an act of defiance against the barren asteroid there. but she has been flighty. It isn't until the end when she finally settles in.[/left]

"I suck at raising plants. Fortunately dandelions are hardy creatures. Plants. whatever.

when? around 500 years after show. final week of middle school before summer? do they use same timescale? day night cycle?

Format and Plot: each chapter is a day, broken up into 1 to 5 scenes. This is where I'm weakest: what happens?

Note from curature involving translation into ancient equestrian (modern english)

Monday: final week of class: dinner scene

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Saturday: student Graduation? (middle school graduation joke)

Sunday: board flight to Equestria decides to stay, for now.

Epilogue, She gives her own presentation, in the future?

Also he, has big balls. Being part fruit-bat will do that to you. actually while some bats have huge balls others don't; it depends on mating patterns I believe

"I'm sure I could get a teaching job in canterlot, you know. I... I could teach night classes! I could sleep during the day! During they day, Doodles! Like a proper bat pony!"

"I didn't even think of that to be honest. Oh bother, I'm so very self centered!" she replied. "But, I mean, outside of the insomnia and the headaches, you like the asteroid, right?"

"I love the asteroid," Erstwhile replied. "But I love you more."

events to include: try to not have Snicker Doodle monologue to reader. rather let actions tell the story.

Conflict: Snicker Doodle feels adrift upon her astroid. when does it come to a head? why?

other conflicts:

how the citizens view their (adopted?) native daughter

betrayal?

Snicker has mild depression

Notes:

nick names: Snickers, Doodlebug

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taraxacum Dandelions

explore disconnect between name and cutie mark and choice not to change name

Electronic scale

Yea, How often do we take for granted the mundanity of our lunch, only to peel open our sandwich or read the ingredients list on our salad dressing and discover an entire cosmos just outside our Ken?

resolution, she and her coltfriend traverl back to equestria (why?) maybe as ambassadors? The "long lost 576th element is finally found."

The case for Crust

Past salads

The sausage factory

Outline

Monday

"On monday, I bake cookies."

Scene 1: Colt gives history of asteroid

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

graduation

Short mention of missing colt. Underplay it.

Saturday

uses her element of dandelions

--first time. Second time? did she get it when she was corroborated?

Let me tell you about dandelions

Climax: snickerdoodle looks back on three events over past week that make her realize she actually wants to stay

Sunday

So what happens sunday?

Final scene: letter to her mentor

Dear Princess Lunchtime.

Quotes: Never trust a mare who's so in love with her job she won't stop for lunch. Single-mindedness breeds extremism and not eating your sandwich eventually breads mold.

You told me to "never be fully satisfied with my sandwhich if it could be better." It was kind of odd advice

Always be sure you really want a sandwich before you order it

Monday

"Sandwiches weren't built in a day. Well, technically most sandwiches are built in a minute or two, but every recipe has a long, rich history behind it. Know your sandwich's past, and you shall know your sandwich."

~Princess Lunchtime Luster, The Sandwich Way

And Now, Super Trampoline Presents

The Long Lost 576th Element

A My Little Pony Fanfiction

Monday

*ch-chhhh cr-chk*

On Mondays, I bake cookies.

*ch-chhhh cr-chk*

I have a morning shift, from 6am to noon. My coltfriend's a bat pony, so when I manage to align my sleep schedule with his, it ends up being more like a night shift for me.

*ch-chhhh cr-chk*

Of course, this being a rotating asteroid, if you really want to change the time you can just trot to the other side.

Or fly. That's preferable, really. Or ride a scooter. Or a taxi. Or a bus. Or take a transit car. Actually, do that. We don't have buses or taxis here. There's a lot we don't have here. But we do have a fine "light rail network". I guess once you've laid ten miles of track through an asteroid, what's another few hundred miles on the surface. Perhaps one day we shall not have to trot at all!

*ch-chhhh cr-chk*

I weep for that day.

I say as I stand on a colonized mining asteroid breathing air. I'm not a luddite, just a hypocrite. You don't need to tell me that progress is good. The colt presenting at the front of the room is doing a fine job at that. He nods at me, and I change the slide. *ch-chhhh cr-chk*

"And here, uh, you can see that while silicon exports have been going up for the past fifteen years, our, our total percentage of, um..." He glances at what I presume is an index card on the podium. "...market share--uh, Equestrian market share, that is--it has at the same time gone steadily down. That's the red line here." He points a hoof at a jagged red line. He's right, it's going down. I'm glad Erstwhile's class knows how to interpret graphs. Who knows, this kid could be the next great statistician. After all, this is Falabella--Where anything can happen!

Thank you for the snazzy aphorism, Falabella Tourist Bureau. All two of you.

The colt finishes the slide and is mid-head nodding at me when Erstwhile raises a foreleg. The colt seems surprised, as if his teacher hadn't been asking the last five students questions during their presentations. Come on, Twinkle Quartz, pattern recognition is an important part of being a statistician!

"Uh, y-yes Mr. Lee?"

"Mr. Lee," as his students call him, speaks in that patiently reassuring voice he uses about, well, all the time while he's teaching. It's a nice voice to listen to, but could stand to be about 15 percent less monotone. Great for falling asleep to, not quite so great for classroom, uh, morale? No. Uh, let's borrow some Prench and say esprit de corps. Yeah, that. What I'm saying is his voice can be a little boring at times but it's okay because he's honestly a pretty great teacher and I like hearing him talk, okay?

I'm not blushing.

As I was saying, the stallion I'm not blushing about voices his question: "So, Twinkle, what conclusion can you draw from this?"

"Uh, from what?" the kid stammers. Lack of Clarity: 1. Mr. Lee: 0

"That exports are up yet comprise less overall of F.E.S. marketshare? What does this say about silicon, well, about the silicon use?"

The colt glances at the slide again, seeking inspiration. "Um, that we, we are, uh, we're sending a lot more of the stuff to Equiis, but uh, it's not enough."

"Okay, go further. Why might that be?"

"Well, uh... Oh! Because Equestria is using more and more silicon. We're making more of it, but they're using more of it!"

Ersatz smiles, fangs poking out of that craggy muzzle, "Exactly. Carry on." The colt echoes his smile, buoyed by the approval. He's still grinning when he resumes his interrupted head nod at me. *ch-chhhh cr-chk*

It's 5:28 when Erstwhile finally trots through our apartment's front door and meekly mutters that he's home, and I know that he said he might be late, and I know that he's been helping grade final projects, and I know that he has to fly halfway across the asteroid to get here, but I'm still annoyed, because I like being annoyed and his tardiness is an easy target.

"You're late," I grouch as he slides his saddle bags limply onto the floor and staggers into the restroom to wash up, and he loves me so much that he doesn't even try to defend himself from this fact. I sit there dumbly at the table, waiting for him.

A minute later he finally flops upon a stool and for the first time today we look at each other. I'm about to tell him the dinner offerings, but he cuts me off with an unneeded apology "Yes, I know, this was supposed to be a late lunch. I'm sorry. School is crazy right now." And he says it with such a downward inflection that I can't help but feel guilty.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I snipped at you. I'm just hungry."

"You could have eaten you know. No need to wait for me."

"I know," I reply. "But I actually like eating with you, believe it or not." He smiles at this, but returns to staring at the table blankly.

"I made us a fruit salad," I say. "I figured it's hard to go wrong with that. Is... it missing something?"

"No, no, it looks lovely. I think I'm missing something." As if to cue me in, a yawn.

"Ah yes, coffee!" I bounce over to the stove and grab the coffee pot. It's not until I grab a cup from the cabinet with a wing that I realize I've got the pot in my telekinesis. I almost drop it in pleasant surprise, but manage to get both containers over to my coltfriend intact.

"Wow, you're getting better," he complements, half jokingly.

"I should hope so," I say as I sit down myself. "It's been three and a half years."

"That long, really? Time sure does fly."

"Yes it does," I answer perfunctorily. "Now let's eat. I'm hungry."

"Agreed," and with that a mango slice is speared upon his fang.

Tueday

On Tuesday, the mail comes.

Teleporting stuff a few miles is trivial. Most any sufficiently powerful unicorn (and increasing numbers of pegasi and earthens) can do it. A hundred miles is the upper range of most ponies and artificial teleporters. I think the most advanced porters on the market right now have a listed 200 mile range. And you know, no living stuff, death of the self/birth of a clone and all that. The main one here only has a 50-mile range, which is more than we need on an asteroid 18 miles wide, but it means more accurate transmission within those 18 miles. Accurately teleporting things a few thousand miles--like say, across an ocean--takes an expert and powerful caster, but it's still doable.

Astroid D-304, colloqially known as Falabella (in actuality the name of its largest--err, only city) sits in Equiis's L4 Lagrange Point. It's 20 million miles from Equiis. Only Twilight Sparkle and Orobear Lux have managed that teleportation, and the later supposedly browned out New Trampsterdam to accomplish it. Also, the roses he sent his fillyfriend combusted in the process, which I think you can agree mostly defeats the point. Lunchtime apreciated the gesture though.

So on Tuesday, the mail comes.

wednesday

How do you know all this?

See these scruffy bat ears?

the adorable ones I like to nibble on?

Which I find annoying, not arousing

I use them to listen.

I had a local metal worker embed ( precise word? ) it in my peytral so I could be unsure of my roll as princess and as an element of harmony at the same time.

Saturday

"When in doubt, ask yourself: 'What would Lunchtime Luster do?'"

~Princess Lunchtime Luster, The Odd Wisdom of Lunchtime Luster: Collected Correspondence, Volume 2

Usually, I know what do, but here I'm stumped. I mean, I know that with enough ponies, eventually we could find him, but a lot can happen in "eventually", and I picturing a lot of ugly outcomes I'd rather not think about.

What would Lunchtime do, I ask myself. I chuckle. She'd be herself: bold, self-important, a little bit crazy, and full of heart. Most of those don't apply here. But...

But I can be myself. I feel a warmth on my flanks I haven't felt in some time.

No one runs away for fun. There's always a reason. I flash back.

I can do this.

I close my eyes

I'm not particularly religious, but I believe in magic. And for all that ponies like Twilight have reduced 99% of thaumaturgy to a cold science, there's still the one percent, that little bit of magic that works in mysterious ways. So I offer her an invective. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, princess of friendship, and princess of magic: help me find this child."

A dandelion seed can travel up to 500 miles. So I've read. Living on an asteroid, I haven't exactly gotten the opportunity to test this piece of trivia. But I suspect with ideal conditions--like, say, an artificial low-level jet stream--it could go much farther.

Doodlebop is only *** miles wide. I can do this.

I imagine [colt's name]. I think of my limited interactions with

I picture him, frustrated and unsure of how to deal with this frustration, galloping off. He's, what, 11, 12? He's exhausted after a mile of galloping, and slows to a canter, then a trot. He trots for hours, wandering over the rocky surface, his hooves nicked and sore. He's tired and thirsty.

I am the plant, and he is the seed. I see him bolt from his room, and as I follow him in my mind's eye, he leaves a trail. It snakes and winds erratically into the distance.

I open my eyes, and the trail is still there.

I know where he is.

I touch down.

Ersatz, he didn't come to you, did he?" He flinches, stung by the implication. I unfurl a wing and hug his barrel. "It's not your fault. But please, let me handle this."

I am not going to give some all-applicable wisdom. I am not going to say running away is wrong, because when I was seventeen, I ran away, and I can't say I regret it. But it is wrong at 12.

"I'm 13"

"Thirteen. My point stands. Unless you're being abused or otherwise in an unsafe situation, you should never run away from home. And, uh, I guess if you are in a dangerous situation, you still should go talk to an adult you trust. Not hide in a tunnel and scare your family and community shitless.

[talks about his dad]

Is that going to be me?

No, we c

Whether you decide to stay or go, first you must grow strong.

There are many ways to be strong. Running away is not one of them. Usually. Asking for help is."

"Miss. Doodle, w-will you help me?"

I smile, reaching down to plant a kiss on his forehead. "Yes," I whisper, and in that moment, I feel a wind of understanding wash over me, and I realize it's all going to be alright. Not just for him. For me, too. Somewhere in the peripheral of my awareness, I sense a transformation.

I fire a flare of pure magic. It flies up, up, up, before thwacking against the ever-present membrane separating us from certain death. oops. Fortunately, it absorbs the energy, briefly glowing a bright pink before rippling back into invisibility.

A pegasus looks at my queerly. "What was that for?"

He roles his eyes and lifts a his watch to his face, pressing a button with his snout. "This is [name of pony]. We've found the child, and he's safe. I repeat, *name of child* is safe. Over." Oh right, cellular phones. The magic of technology. Which we help provide. I facehoof.

Sunday

Dear Princess Twilight

Snickerdoodle

I better get some sleep, because it's almost Monday, and on Monday I bake cookies.