Silver spears, upon their chest
These are colts, Her Majesty's best.
one hundred colts, we'll test today.
but only three, in the Sun Spears stay.
Applejack told me I had one of my 'episodes' as she calls them, a week ago. I remembered being awake briefly, but that's about it. It wouldn't be the first time this's happened. This plow is heavy, but it keeps my mind off of things. That quack VA doctor prescribed me all kinds of pills that make ya loopy in th' head to try and control my 'episodes'. I'd rather be in my right mind and a little crazy than be a dang strung out good-fer-nothin'. I still remember the songs we'd sing in Sunspear school. They get stuck in my head sometimes, when I think about the war.
"Ya ready to go, Mac?"
Applejack was all ready to go, our bags packed and waiting by the door. I was still on the couch.
"I s'pose." I forced myself to my hooves and started toward the door.
"Shorten up that long face, Mac," she said. Celestia help her, she tries for me.
"Ah don't think this is gonna do any more than them dang prescriptions the doctors keep throwin' at me," I mumbled.
"Well, the psychologist says it will, not the doctor. Like it or not, your red butt is gonna be on that train with me and Twilight." She wasn't kiddin' around, either. Our stubbornness runs deep.
I didn't give two bucks about some fancy pants holiday, regardless of who was gonna be there. Sure, the newspapers and such made a big deal out of the whole 'warrior appreciation day' thing the princesses had cooked up after the war, but I could've done without it. I didn't need thanks, I didn't need a parade, and neither did the stallions I served with. We wanted to get on with our lives, we wanted to go back home and live every day for the ones who didn't get that opportunity.
But, I suppose I can't hold it against the regular folks for wantin' to show some gratitude. The hero worship is kinda off-putting, but I guess I could put up with shaking hooves and kissin' babies for one day.
Spike was coming along with princess Twilight as well. He'd been hanging around the farm recently, askin' me all types of questions about how things were over there. Right off the bat, I knew why. He lived with a mare, and had all his life. A masculine perspective was hard for him to come by in his household.
He was just a kid. Little boys idolize war. Hell, I did as a colt, and I'm sure there are tons of 'em out there that still do. Guards and changelings is still a popular game on the playground. Or, so I'm told. I'd tell him about the good things, about the camaraderie between stallions sharing hardship, but none of the real pain. None of the stuff that wakes you up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. He didn't need that. Besides, I'd never heard of any dragon recruits in the Army of the Sun. I figured I'd let him have his fantasies. And why not? Every kid needs a hero.
I followed my sister to the cart carrying all of our luggage. Yeah, it was typical, but I am the strongest. Apple Bloom was coming along as well, but she'd only be attending the ceremony. Afterwards, I had something I wanted to do alone. Hell, I wasn't all that comfortable with Spike and Twilight tagging along, but there wasn't much I could do about that.
I loaded up the cart and hitched myself to it while the girls made sure they had everything. It always amazed me how mares could pack so much. Hell, all I'm bringin' is my uniform. I had ta make sure it still fit, and thankfully, it did. Not that I wouldn't mind payin' Ms. Rarity a visit, but its better off this way.
"Y'all ready yet?" I called after them.
Finally, we got on the road. The plan was to take the train from town to Canterlot, spend the night in an inn and get up bright and early for the festivities. If it were up to me, I'd have just pulled the cart the whole way. I like a good walk, gives me time to think. I've been doin' a lot of that since I've goin' to that head doctor the VA appointed me. It's somethin' I've always done, honestly, but now, it's different.
When I let my mind wander, it always leads back to one place.
Over there.
I've heard old soldiers say that when you're in country, all you can think about is getting back home, but once you're back home, all you can think about is getting back in country. Let me tell you, it wasn't for the scenery or the friendly locals, either. It was always hard to leave your post, your friends, even for two weeks on R&R. Especially when, by the time you come back, there's one less than when you left. Replaced by a new guy, fresh from training, no exposure to the enemy other than what they'd heard or read in the papers. And that wasn't the half of it. Changelings were as cunning as they were treacherous. I remember the first guy we lost.
Private Sterling Shield.
A good colt, grew up not far from Braeburn's farm in Appaloosa. He was our radio operator, he kept up with all the enchanted crystals that let us talk across huge distances. He joined up thinking that taking care of comm crystals would be an easy job, and that he wouldn't see combat.
Boy, was he wrong.
The way things worked around the outpost, everyone had to take a guard shift, even Lieutenant Arrow.
The way the story goes, LT's shift was up, and private Shield was taking his place as guard.
"Mother's eye color?" The lieutenant asked.
"Hazel," Shield answered. "First pets name?"
"Shadow," he replied.
We had security questions. If anyone was out of sight or away for more than a half hour, you had to verify identity. That's another reason we were so close. We all had to learn seemingly random details about each other, but in a way, our bonds grew stronger. They changed every day, we had no idea when the Changelings were listening.
"Have a good night, sir," He said with a nod. Saluting was not authorized in the field. No need to tip off the enemy as to who was in charge.
"You too, Private."
The LT walked back into camp while Shield took his watch. Only a few minutes had passed into his shift when he heard hoofsteps behind him. Arrow was walking back towards him, a smile on his face.
"Forget something, sir?" he asked. Arrow shook his head. Shield realized too late. The changeling had grabbed his dagger and thrust it into his ribs. No more than a second later, the real lieutenant swung hard across the creature's neck with his officer's sword, severing its head clean off its shoulders.
They sounded the alarm, and the whole post was awake. They tried to save him, but one of his arteries got nicked. We never figured out how one of them got past the wire.
Honestly, the Changelings only ever attacked in two ways. One, lone infiltrators, sent to do as much damage as they can before they're caught. Or two, mass, suicidal charges right into the teeth of our defenses.
I only ever saw Shield on the operating table before they shipped him back. He was pale as death itself. That was the first time I'd ever seen a dead body. And not just anyones. A stallion I considered a friend. It stays with me to this day.
Before I knew it, we were at the train station.
The porters took care of the bags as I unhitched myself. Like I said before, my mind tends to wander in places I'd like it not too.
I stepped up to the platform with the group while Applejack got the tickets. Princess Twilight was looking lovely, but that wasn't unusual. As a princess, I supposed she needed to look her best as often as possible.
"Big Mac, you must be excited to get to Canterlot!" she said. I couldn't help but smile. She was certainly a looker, even with her crown and such.
"Your Majesty, it's an honor ta get recognized at all."
She blushed like fire. It's not much, but I hang my yoke on being able to make a princess blush. "Mac, how many times do I have to tell you, you don't have to call me Your Majesty!"
"At least one more time, Princess." I knew she was still not used to the whole 'princess' thing. But still, respect is due where it's due, and even if she wasn't a princess, she was still a national hero three times over. "Y'all have saved the world more than I have, and you don't get a holiday."
"Well, unfortunately, we can't equip every soldier with an element of harmony, but thanks to you, the changelings haven't been seen in months."
I smiled. "I just did what I was sent to do." I never liked the whole 'hero worship' side of service
"ALL ABOARD!"
With that, we boarded the train and found our room. I decided to keep my uniform with me. Better to keep it wrinkle free in the cabin than stuffed between two bags underneath the train.
I hung it up and sat down across from Spike. He looked up from his comic and noticed the medals, unit patches, and skill identifiers shining in the sunlight. "Wow, look at all those medals! You must have been the best soldier ever!"
I couldn't help but chuckle. "I wasn't any better than anybody else. War is a team effort."
"Still though, I bet you were like an action hero or something, right?"
I could see the admiration in his eyes. It was the same shine my eyes had when I first talked to the grizzled old Royal Guard at the in-processing station all those years ago. Who was I to tell him what it was really like? After all, there were good times. Shared hardship brings stallions together, and the camaraderie is unrivaled. But, it's strange. When you're there, it's one thing. You know you'd sacrifice everything for them, but once you've been away for a while, it seems to fade a bit.
You come home, you try and move on with your life, and get back to normal. In some ways, you do. Everything is more or less, just as you left it. But at the same time, it ain't. Innocent, everyday jobs and things now trigger memories of your time in country.
"I got'em because I was there for a while, I wasn't Bambo or nothin'," I replied. It's true, I did rack up a few medals while I was there, but it weren't no action movie heroics. I did what I knew any of them would have done for me. We were part of a special group. Sun Spears, they called us. Regular soldiers got the standard issue gold armor. But, if you had the guts, you could tryout for the Sunspears. Those who took the missions nearly considered suicide. Obviously, I had no intention of going on a suicide mission, but I wanted to push myself. Farm work could only teach me so much about my potential. So, naturally, I figured I'd give the Sunspear Corps a try. The tip of Celestia's spear, they called them, and their emblem reflected such. The blazing sun with two spears crossed behind it. It was one of the most coveted badges in all of the Equestrian military.
And guess what?
I got it all right. It wasn't easy, and it sure as heck wasn't fun, but once the course was over, I had myself a shiny set of red armor, and one of the hardest badges to get pinned on my dress uniform.
"Mac," Applejack started. I could tell by that tone what question was coming next. "Did you take your pills this mornin'?" I hate these damn things. I know modern medicine's come a long way (allegedly), but some doctors put a little too much faith in the idea of better living through modern chemistry.
I soured up the moment the words left her mouth. "Don't you give me that look Macintosh Apple," she shot back, opening up her saddle bag and tossing me an orange bottle with a white cap. The name of these dang pills was a mile long in itself, but the doctor called them SSRI's. Dunno what that means, and didn't particularly care. "It says to take daily with additional doses as needed, and I know you didn't take one this mornin'."
"It says as needed, I don't need 'em." I always tried to argue, and I always lost. It seemed to me that Applejack felt like this was her fault. Where she got that crazy idea I haven't the slightest. During one of my appointments with the head doctor, I told him about how pushy she seemed to be about me getting treatment. It wasn't until I almost hurt her that I agreed to even set hoof in the hospital. He seemed to think she felt guilty because she was the one always out fighting monsters and keeping Equestria safe, and when it became my turn, she was helpless. He said my war took her feeling of control away. There wasn't a thing she or anypony else could do to help or protect me while I was over there. It didn't sound like the Applejack I knew. But I'm not a mind reader, either.
"This ain't a debate, now are you gonna take them, or am I gonna have to sneak 'em into your food like I have to do with Winona's medicine?"
I snorted in protest, but that was it. I popped the lid off the container and held a small, blue oval in my hoof. Amazing how something so small can effect someone my size. I took the pill and sat back. It would be another thirty minutes before I felt anything. The first forty five minutes were a bit like having too much cider. Kinda happy, not really sure why, followed by a gradual coming down to normal. The thing I hate about these pills is, if I stay up too late, I get really tired and damn near sleep till noon the next day. On top of that, they don't make me forget about what I saw over there. I still remember.
I just don't care.
I should always care.
I could feel the myself beginning to relax. I didn't mind this part. Heck, I kinda looked forward to it. It usually started at my tail and worked its way over me. It was like tension would just melt off me, and I'd just get this goofy grin on my face. It's not my proudest moment, but folks don't seem to mind.
"So, Spike, what is that you're readin' there?"
"Oh, it's the 'Scales of Justice', it's about a dragon super hero that fights crime in Ignition City!" Spike kept on talking, and I tried to listen, but the meds make it tough to retain. He was so excited to tell me about it. Normally, I'd just smile and nod, which is all it took when it came to kids. Although I tried my best, I nodded off during his explanation. I felt pretty bad about it later.
"Geez, it's not that boring is it?" Spike asked.
"Naw, it ain't you, Spike, the pills make him drowsy," Applejack explained.
Before long, thanks to my nap, we had arrived in Canterlot. The train station was decorated with banners, flags and welcome signs, as well as crowds with tiny little flags cheering for us. I probably should have mentioned there were other soldiers on the train besides myself. Regardless, I got dressed on the train and stepped out. I was Sargent Macintosh again. I hadn't been sarge in quite a while, but if I was ever gonna take him out of retirement, now seemed like a good time.
As I stepped out of the steam of the train, the crowds erupted for not just myself, but all the soldiers that stood on the platform. Everything from privates to captains, but as far as I could tell, I was the only one with the Sunspear badge. No one from my squad was on board, far as I could tell, so I continued to walk with the rest of my family, my air of aloof-ness still fogging my brain.
Damn those pills.
There were more soldiers there than just me, some already in uniform, some not. I only ever wore my gear when I had to. It was uncomfortable, for one, and two, it attracts attention. I've never liked being the center of attention. They said that would make me a great operator. I suppose they were right.
Banners with the royal emblem flapped in the breeze from the street lamps as we left the train station. Canterlot was not much different, otherwise. Still crowded with ponies too busy to even look anywhere but where they were going. We were headed to the castle. Because of who my sister was, we didn't need a hotel. I mean, it was nice and all, but I'd have been fine in a hotel. But, it was close to the ceremony, so that was a plus.
Our room was huge. All three of us had our own bed, and a great view of the city. As soon as we got there, Apple Bloom wanted nothing more than to explore the palace.
"Can ya take me explorin', Mac?"
I wanted to. Normally, I would have. But I felt asleep on my own hooves. "I'm sorry darlin', I just don't have it in me. I'll catch up with ya'll at lunch."
That look. I hate that look. It was only for a moment, a half second, but Apple Bloom was disappointed. Damn these pills. I found myself laying on my bed, looking over the program for the ceremony tomorrow. As I looked at it, I could feel myself nodding off. Eventually, I just gave in.
I was back.
The funny thing about dreams is you never relive the boring parts of war. It's always the chaos. That Discord fella would be right at home.
I had binoculars and a comm crystal. I was the spotter for the battle blimps. In case you were wondering, a battle blimp is exactly what it sounds like; a blimp with things that magnify the magical energy of unicorns about a hundred times. They hover over the battlefield and strike targets we mark. One round can wipe out a city block, and they're six of those things on each blimp, plus a hundred others to defend it against the flying changelings.
I could see them in the distance. Every now and then, a flash of light would come from one, and slowly travel to the ground. A few seconds later, I'd feel the ground rumble. I looked through the binoculars after the dust settled. Another hive blown to bits. Every day we'd kill them, every day they'd rebuild. It never ended.
"Spectre six three, good kill." I whispered into the crystal.
There were three battle blimps in the area, and all of the sudden, all three lit up. Round after round they fired onto the ground. That was never good. The battle masters could see something we couldn't. And that meant trouble.
"Iron hoof, this is Spectre six two, a swarm is closing in on your position! We're hitting them with everything we've got but there are thousands of —" His voice disappeared.
I looked down range. A blimp was losing altitude. Swarms were all around the other two, magic blasting out in all directions to try and defend their ship.
"General quarters! Take your combat positions!" I shouted from the watchtower. Our outpost sprang to life. Our platoon leader scrambled up the tower with me. He charged his magic and the amplifier mounted in the watchtower glowed purple. Earth ponies fired, Unicorns charged the weapons. It was an efficient combination.
I was ready. The most casualty producing weapon needs to be operational, and the heaviest thing we had was in the watchtower with me. Lt Arrow and I waited for the enemy to appear over the hills. We knew it would only be a matter of time. The entire outpost was on edge as we anticipated the first wave.
Thats what killed me. The waiting . You knew they'd be here, but it was impossible to know when. I had no idea how long it took, but they showed. Hundreds of them, swarming over the dead terrain. The outpost lit up, blasts of blue, red, green and yellow crashed into the charging hordes. We fight hard. We give it everything we've got, every time. But it never matters. They break through. They overrun our lines, and as soon as they begin pouring into the camp, I always—
"Mac!"
I shot up from my bed. I was drenched in sweat as Apple Bloom and Applejack stood at each side of my bed. It took me a second to get my bearings, but I was back in the blink of an eye.
"Uh... howdy."
"You were talkin' in your sleep somethin' fierce, Mac," Applejack said. I wouldn't doubt it. When I have them dreams, that's usually what happens.
"Sorry about that," I replied.
"It's almost time for your reunion, get your fancy duds on or you'll be late." Applejack always kept this family on time from the time she was old enough to read a clock.
Luckily for us, the reunion was just downstairs in one of the banquet halls. I put on my uniform and headed downstairs. My unit reunion was just before the actual ceremony. My sister and her friends would join me afterward.
I followed the signs to the Sunspear's room. It wasn't much, a lot smaller than some of the rooms for the larger divisions, but it had a bar. I knew that was the only thing most of the old stallions would need anyway. I stepped inside and was instantly greeted by the stallions I'd thought about the most while during my time in service. Most were there, but the ones that weren't were tough to deal with. The room was filled with grizzled old stallions and fresh faced young colts, from cities far and wide. We couldn't have been more different, and yet, one thing made us all the same.
We made it home.
Once the whole squad turned up, we had a few toasts. One to Celestia, one to Luna, and then one to the fallen. There was always a seat at the bar set out with a shot of whiskey, and an unopened beer with a dagger between them. We toasted them with water and salt, not alcohol. They died out there, and with us having to carry on without them, we shared their bitter fate.
The last toast was for our unit, and it was another reason I didn't need any of my family to attend this part. We raised our glasses.
"To sharp steel and pussy. One brought me into this world, the other'll take me out, but I love the feel of both."
A little vulgar for my taste, but it was ours, and we all owned it.
We talked about the old times, about those we'd never see again, and those that just couldn't make it. Overall, it was good to see some of the colts again. We drank and had a few good laughs until it was time for the ceremony to begin. I met up with my family and we took our seats in the great hall. It was mostly speeches, and lot of lauding and fanfare over us, but other than that, it was nothing special.
Afterward it was time for me to get down to the task at hoof.
"You sure you don't want us there, Macintosh?" Applejack asked. Her eyes pleaded with me for a different answer, but it wouldn't work. If she insisted I do this, I was doing it on my terms.
"Ah'll be fine. Just wait for me here till I'm done."
With that, I walked outside the castle and into the courtyard. It always amazed me how well trimmed they managed to keep this place. I followed the signs until I found myself at the gate to Hero's Hill. In the moonlight, I could see hundreds of headstones, all the same shape, all in perfectly aligned rows stretching across the lush, green grass. I took a deep breath, and opened the gate. So many soldiers. So many stallions with wives, children, mothers and fathers, all signing on the dotted line, and risking trading all they had in life for a flag-draped casket.
Sometimes, I think we all had to be crazy to join the Sunspears. But hell, maybe that's what war takes, because that's certainly what it is.
Crazy.
I'd been walking a while before I saw it.
Lt. True Arrow
Operation Blazing Dawn
Sunspear
1290-1318
There weren't enough pills in the world to stop what was coming. As soon as I read his name, I felt the tears coming. I dropped to my flank without even realizing it. I took a couple shuddering breaths before I could even face him again.
"Please... tell me I'm a good stallion... tell me I've done right by you."
A hoof on my shoulder nearly startled me out of my coat.
"Macintosh, are you alright?"
I thought I told her to stay put.
"I, I'm fine..."
She sat next to me.
"Is this him?" she aksed. "Is this the stallion you wouldn't talk about?"
She was right. No matter how many times that head doctor poked and prodded me, I wouldn't talk about Arrow. He didn't deserve to even listen to his story. No one did, except the stallions who were there.
At least, that's the way I thought about it all those times before.
But this time, in this place, with Applejack, it felt... like it was time.
The Changelings brought an overwhelming force against us. Our outpost couldn't hold out much longer, so they sounded the alarm to fall back. Our escape plan was airlift by pegasi in a clearing near the outpost. The only problem was, the Changelings were almost on top of us. If we broke contact , they'd just chase us all down.
That's when Arrow turned to me and told me that the two of us had to cover the rest of the platoon's retreat. He looked at me, but I knew what he was implying. We might not make it home. Before this, I'd talked to him about my family, and my farm back home. I told him about Applejack, Apple Bloom, and everypony else in my life. He told me about himself too. He said he had a newborn foal at home, and a wife waiting for him to come back.
We fought on, covering our colts as they evacuated the camp. Before long, it was just us. The Changelings quit chasing our platoon and focused on our position. They were going to surround us soon, so I motioned towards the ladder.
"It's now or never, sir, we need to get to the pickup zone with the others!" I said.
He smiled at me. At the time, I had no idea how anyone could smile while a hundred Changelings looked for a way into your fighting position to kill you.
"We'd never make it, Mac, we can't outrun them." I couldn't figure it out. How could he be so calm about this?
He turned back and looked out over the camp. Changelings were searching everywhere to try and find a soldier unfortunate enough to be taken prisoner and sent back to the hive, where Celestia-knows-what happens. He turned back to me.
"This is my decision, Mac. Take care of yourself, and your family," His smile is something I don't think I'll ever forget. "That's an order."
After that, all I saw was a purple flash. In an instant, I was in the field with the rest of the squad as out pegasi extraction team arrived. But without Lt Arrow. I was about to take off into the woods when the others stopped me. It took three of them to hold me back, but I finally, I gave in. Each pegasus picked up one of us and flew us to another outpost down the way. I looked back. I could see flashes of purple still coming from the watchtower. Without him keeping them busy, they would have overrun the pickup zone.
And then... nothing.
It was quiet, after I'd told her. It was probably pretty hard to swallow, knowing that her brother wouldn't have come home if it weren't for the stallion resting before her. "It... It just ain't right. He had a foal, a wife... Why? It ain't fair."
"Mac... I can't say why. But, from what you told me," she put a hoof under my chin and looked into my eyes. My tears were contagious. "He wanted you to live your life. Doin' anything less than that is doin' him wrong."
She hugged me, and I pulled her in. My eyes were still leaking a bit, but telling my story, telling his story to someone felt like such a relief.
"Mac... if ya want, I know Twilight can find out where his family lives. I know they'd love to hear about what a hero he was."
I nodded.
"Apple Bloom!" I turned to see my littlest sister running towards us, followed by Princess Twilight and Spike.
"I'm sorry Applejack... I was watching her like you asked... and then someone wanted a picture with me... and I turned around... and she was gone!" she panted.
"Ah'm tired of bein' treated like a little filly! You think you can just run off to do grown-up stuff without me?" Apple Bloom pouted. "What are ya'll doin' in a cemetery anyway?" she asked. Only then did she notice I'd been a bit teary. Not one of my proudest moments.
Before I could explain, Applejack spoke up. "Mac was just meetin' an old friend here," she said.
"He is? Well where is he?" she asked.
"He's gone. But I was lucky to meet him," I replied.
"Well then can we get some ice cream?" Without missing a beat. Apple Bloom could always put things into perspective for me.
I stood up, and scooped Apple Bloom onto my shoulders in a fit of giggles.
Healing a wound you can't see is tough. Admitting you have it is even tougher. But it is possible. There are a million reasons to get better, but the one that matters the most to me, is right here beside me, and on my shoulders. For them, I could do anything.
And ice cream sounded perfect.
