“Please.” The word was not foreign to her, though it rarely needed to leave her lips. But now, in this time of anguish and misery, the need had arose. She needed this desperately. She just… just one more time. Just one last time.
The zebra before her shook his head with a sigh. “I… I mustn’t do this. A potion like this must not be taken in excess, yet I have already allowed you access to it’s properties twice this moon’s cycle. A third sip of such a drink would simply send you further, but a third dosage, full, could prove to be your last.”
She shook her head defiantly, biting her lip. “I-I must know! Just… I must see why, just one more time!”
“I cannot allow this… I shouldn’t.”
“What if I command you?”
The zebra sighed softly, taking in the mare in all her disheveled glory. Her wings were unpreened and her mane ragged, with dark circles standing out against her pale, once pristine coat. She certainly didn’t look like a pony who could command him. But, nonetheless, he bowed his head. “Then I would be forced to brew another potion.”
“Do it. Please,” she muttered again. “Please, just… do it. I command you.”
“As you command, Princess.” Celestia watched as the zebra, her loyal servant, bowed before her. She could sense the sorrow in his voice; no, disappointment. She gulped as he trotted out, looking out the window. The sun was already on it’s downwards arc to the horizon. It was nearly time for the moon to rise.
She sighed softly. “Just… just one more time. I just have to see it one last time.”
*~*~*~
Zephron cleared his throat as he stepped before the guards to Celestia’s chambers. They looked exhausted, though not as much as the Princess. He supposed that was due to all of the running around, trying to find the rebellions in the ranks before they sprung up. The two regarded him coolly. “Buisness?”
“The Princess requested a potion. I have brought it.”
“Show us.”
With a sigh, Zephron reached into his bag, grabbing the potion in his mouth. He pulled it out and one of the guards levitated it over to inspect. The purple liquid inside sloshed around. “Ingredients?”
Oh, for Sun’s sake. “Gentlemen, we have done this routine thrice this past month. It is the same potion as you inspected not 2 weeks ago, and thus contains the very same ingredients. Now, I am the loyal servant to my ruler. I simply wish to deliver my goods and be done.”
The guard on the right nodded. Zephron recognized him as the stallion named Swift Strike. Normally a rather rambunctious sort, Swift looked far more serious, if not as drained as his partner. “You must understand our protocols, Zeph. We’re doing our jobs, same as you.” He glanced at the other guard. “Just this once, we’ll drop the ball a bit and let you in. If anything happens to the Princess while you’re in there, we’ll detain you and all that other nonsense.”
Zephron took back the potion as it was given to him, putting it back in the bag. “I thank you, sirs, and leave you with this warning. She should not be taking this elixer. It is severely detrimental to her recovery from this madness, and may seriously harm her, even tonight.”
Swift nodded. “We know. We couldn’t help but overhear the conversation earlier.” He sighed. “Just… do what you have to do.” With that, they opened up the dual doors to Celestia’s chamber.
Zephron trotted in as silently as possible. The Princess appeared to be stargazing on the balcony. She always was at night now. With a soft sigh, he trotted outside. “Madam?”
Her eyes didn’t leave the moon. Zephron could see the curve of each crater in her eyes as she took them in. He waited, and a few moments passed before she responded. “Yes?”
“The requested potion is finished.” He took the concoction out once more, setting it next to her softly. “I must warn you, your memories may be faulty. This potion might have adverse effects on yo-”
“I know the risks already, Zephron.” He shut his mouth, huffing lightly. She uncorked the drink, watching the purple liquid shift around in her magic. “This will let me see it again.”
“She is but a figment, your Majesty. An illusion. A wisp.”
“A memory,” she whispered, nodding softly. “A memory of what was, what is, and what shall rise again.” Zephron responded with only silence; a desperate royal’s ramblings heralded no response.
He watched as the Princess’ horn began to shine with a dark magic, one even he took a step back from. The aura bubbled and hissed, and for the briefest of times, Zephron thought he saw the mare’s eyes flash a dark green. The potion began to bubble, and in a blink it had turned white. He sighed. “Drinking that is deadly to most ponies.”
“I am not most ponies.” She brought the bottle to her lips, but paused briefly. “... Stay with me, Zephron. While I am gone.”
“Why, your Majesty?”
“... I cannot stand to be alone.”
“... As you wish, Princess.”
Without another word, Celestia drank the potion.
It burned her throat, like saltwater. She licked her lips, taking a deep breath; the taste of the potion resembled lilacs. She smiled softly as the world around her began to fade. Lilacs had always been her favorite. She had always loved to smell them; Celestia had gotten her a vase of them, just before she turned. Just before the final day.
“Just one last time,” she said, just before collapsing. Zephron quickly grabbed her, but she never felt his touch. Her mind had been closed off.
Celestia was seeing only memories now.
*~*~*~
Tia stood, her head swimming. Her body ached. She was exhausted. That’s right… today had been an awful day. Terrible. The moon… Luna… So much confusion. She had to know - why?
She looked around to get her bearings. She was in the great hall. The throne room. Around her, tapestries hanged, bearing the cutiemarks of her and her sister. Torches were blazing, bathing the room in orange light. Two thrones sat at the end of the room; one blue, one gold. One for each Princess. But Celestia saw only the vases lining the hall to the thrones. In each vase was a bundle of lilacs. She had always loved lilacs.
“Not another step.” She looked up to see her sister; how old she looked. Her eyes were full of fury, and her stance demanded respect. Respect was what she desired, yet she was given none. Her body was cold with abandonment and her smile dead on her lips. All that was left in her was anger and neglect.
Tia was determined to change that, this time. The third time was the charm, didn’t they say? This time, it would all change.
“Luna, please,” she tried to say. “Please, rethin-”
“Did you really expect me to sit idly by while they all basked in your precious light?!” Luna strode up to the high balcony, her hoofsteps harsh on the tile.
“L-Luna, please listen to me! This is all a misunderst-”
“There can only be ONE Princess in Equestria, and that Princess will be ME!”
Celestia took a startled step back as her sister’s eyes flashed bright. The wall behind her began to crumble. The world seemed to shake. “N-No, Luna!”
It’s happening again.
“Luna, please, stop this! Stop this, now!”
Luna, no, don’t do this - not again!
Luna rose up, flapping her wings, her horn ablaze, burning hotter than the torches; darkness rose around her horn as the moon began to rise. It quickly overtook the sun, and the world became dark.
Celestia clenched her eyes tightly, blocking out her sister’s scream as darkness took ahold of her. She couldn’t watch - not again. Not this time. This time, things are going to be different! This time, Luna wouldn’t be… that… that monster…
Screams became cruel, bitter laughter. Celestia looked up, her eyes wide in terror. The mighty alicorn was laughing at her fear; her slitted eyes watched Celestia with reckless hatred, her teeth appearing to be fangs in the fires of her fury.
“S...sister…”
The black alicorn landed, her horn sparking with untamed magic; in a might blast, the statue above Celestia turned to ash. The ceiling shattered, causing rubble to fall. Tia stumbled back in surprise, but stood tall. She took to the sky, watching her sister.
She received a glare in kind, followed by another blast of magic; she quickly dodged it. She landed once more, taking a step forward. This was where it all changed. “Luna! I will NOT fight you. You must -” she stopped, biting her tongue. Not this time. “You… You m-... I… cannot.. c-control… you…”
Agony. Her body was burning. Every part of her body ached with pain as her mind rebelled against her.
Celestia bit her lip now, spreading out her wings as they tingled. This was not the memory. This was not how things should go. The memory knew this and fought her. She shut her eyes tightly, but stood her ground.
“Luna? I am… Nightmare Moon.” The alicorn took a step forward; her body seemed to flash once, turning into only a black silhouette. Nightmare shook her head, standing tall as her body flashed back. “I have only one royal duty - to destroy you!”
Celestia knew the blast was coming. She had known all this time what was coming. She wasn’t going to let Nightmare win this time. Whatever it took, whatever the cost, Luna would win out.
Nightmare Moon’s horn began to light. The beam formed; Celestia stared it down. Just as it began to leave her sister’s horn, she closed her eyes.
The blast made contact. She soared back into the stones behind her, screaming. Her body slammed into the stones; she felt her bones shift slightly, burning her insides with pain beyond measure. She slumped against the rocks.
Nightmare strode forth, a frown on her face. Her face briefly flashed to Luna’s, young and innocent, but morphed right back. “W-what is this,” Nightmare said with a smirk, her voice wavering. “The great and m-mighty Celestia cannot even f-fight me?”
Celestia shifted, looking up at the beast who had been her sister. “I… am s-sorry, Sister. I-I betrayed you.” Each word was a struggle, each syllable bringing pain. Still, she toughed through it. Still, she would stay strong; this time would be different.
Nightmare’s smirk faltered. With a scowl, her horn lit again. Celestia’s eyes widened as her wing unfurled. She didn’t have time to brace herself. She screamed as her wing was pulled with a great force upward.
Bones shifted and bones cracked; cartilage was pushed far beyond points it had ever gone and her muscles tore; in one last tug, the flesh cracked and split. Celestia screeched, blood already matting down her snow white fur. The sound echoed a thousand times over around her, ringing in her ears. Still, the agony continued; more shifting, more tearing, more screaming, until, finally, the wing came off.
Tears had risen to her eyes. She sobbed, her tears mixing with the blood. Her weeping seemed to set things back into motion. Nightmare laughed bitterly. “The great Celestia, weeping a-at my hooves.”
She looked up once again, sniffling, trying to stand. Her hooves slipped in the pooling blood beneath her. She fell back down, gritting her teeth. “I...still...love you…”
A hoof pushed down her skull. She gasped as it fell into the blood; her inhale led to her breathing in some through her mouth and nose. She coughed and sputtered, trying to clean her airways of the thick fluid; choking on it, she felt nauseated. Her tears still fell freely. “I still love you,” she said with further conviction, looking at her sister.
Nightmare Moon was blurry, and it wasn’t just from Celestia’s tears. The entire memory was breaking apart; this wasn’t how it had went. Celestia smiled, her teeth stained with blood, her tears running red down her now bloody cheeks. “I still love you, Luna!”
“I am NIGHTMARE MOON!” Again, her skull was plunged into the blood. There was a sharp crack, and her head was suddenly so clear. All pain, all heartache, vanished without a trace. She felt lovely, in fact.
No more sorrow. No more sadness.
She was limp in ecstasy. Her head slumped; she was drooling. The back of her head felt very cold all of a sudden. The world was turning black; Nightmare Moon had won.
Celestia laughed. The sound somehow never reached her ears. Her own screams were still ringing in them. She made out the faint sound of falling rubble. Before her, Nightmare’s grin turned into Luna, sobbing; then a strange looking pony with stripes, concerned; then back again.
She saw her mother, smiling. Her sister, laughing. Herself, powerful. Her sister, beautiful.
She saw them ruling together.
She saw Luna, the rightful ruler, ruling in memory of the sister who never let go; never abandoned her; the one she would regret yet remember for all eternity.
Celestia smiled and shut her eyes. She took one last, happy breath.
She smelled lilacs.
*~*~*~
“Princess, please, wake!”
Celestia opened her eyes. The world was hazy around her. Light was shining on her; it was cold and soft, gentle as it caressed her. She smiled listlessly; her sister had sent her such a lovely dream. How she wanted to sleep again, just to rest in stillness and coolness. It was such a sweet rest that awaited her, if she were to only close her eyes. Such a peaceful, final rest…
“Princess, stay with me! Your majesty! Celestia!”
Her ears perked up as she heard her name. Who was calling for her? Was it important? It sounded like multiple ponies...
“Here, this should help her. Waft it under her nostrils.”
A strong scent burned under her muzzle suddenly; it smelled strongly of whiskey, with a hint of spice and a certain flower. Perhaps daisies? Her eyes widened and she sat up quickly, only to cry out in pain.
Her head was on fire.
“G-gah…” She shut one eye, holding her forehead. Around her, there was a collective sigh of relief. She took in the scene; her two guards and Zephron, of course. She managed a small smile; he had kept his word.
“Your highness!” Swift took off his helmet, taking a deep breath. “Thank goodness, you’re alright. You were shaking so badly, crying out and screaming; we feared for your life.”
“I refuse to make that potion once more,” Zephron cried out, his eyes full of worry. “I should never have made this one to begin with. Disband me, fire me, kill me if you wish, but I will obey no command of yours that requires me to brew that again!”
“Zephron,” she whispered softly; the ponies all fell silent. “I shall never require that potion again. You have my word.”
Zephron smiled, but his face quickly fell. “Forgive my curiosity, but why the sudden change?”
“I changed it… I stopped it from happening…” She laughed brightly, the first joyous sound she had made since it had happened. “I didn’t do it! I saved her! My sister is fr-”
Celestia froze. Her eyes were wide, her body still. She saw only the moon.
Her face turned to anguish and grief. Tears began to fill her eyes. In the reflection of her eyes, Zephron saw the craters of the moon.
“I… N-no… I…”
Her head fell, and she began to weep. Zephron sighed. “You saw a memory; nothing more. You may have changed what happened, but the facts of the present still remain.” He bowed his head as he finally began to understand. “It was not, as you say, a memory of what was, is, and will be; it is what could have been, may be to some, and might have followed. Yet that outcome only exists in the what ifs and could have beens.”
He hesitantly reached out a hoof, placing it gently on the Princess’s back. She flinched, but soon leaned into him, tears streaming down her face. He held her, his face stoic as her tears darkened his coat. “Cry, Princess. You have not cried in days; take as much time to cry as you need, for it brings release.”
He shut his eyes. “Focus your thoughts not on what could have been, but on reality. Your sister is gone, for now, and you are left without her. Yet she will live on in your memories; not through the use of some dark potion, but from here.” He gently placed his hoof over her heart. “Take this advice in stride and carry it with you for the millennium to come.”
Celestia sniffed, her bloodshot eyes meeting her loyal servant’s. He smiled grimly. She choked back another sob. “W-why are you so wise, Zephron? W-why can you see these things, when I can’t?”
“Because I am a mere mortal, your highness, and as all mere mortals do, I see the tragedy in life just as readily as the miracles.” He gently hugged Celestia, sighing. “I see the tragedy in you, now, but I see the miracle of hope in Equestria; I dare to say it, Madam, but Equestria is stronger than even you.”
Celestia huffed lightly, sniffing in a very unladylike manner. One of the guards tapped her wing lightly; she turned to see a tissue. “T-thank you…” She blew her nose, sighing softly. She looked up at the moon.
Nightmare Moon was there. Nothing had changed. She had neglected her sister, forgotten her. For this, she paid the price. There was no reversing this cruel twist of fate; destiny saw that justice was served and a lesson was taught. She closed her eyes and sighed once more, bathing in the cool light of the moon.
She stood, her hooves trembling lightly. She felt very weak. Her body ached, her head burned, and her wings drooped with exhaustion. “Guards?” They stood at attention. She had to admire their spirit. “Wake me when the moon must be risen. I shall not be attending to duties tomorrow. I will rest and regain my strength.”
“Yes, your highness.”
“Zephron?”
“Madam?”
She smiled at the title. “Thank you for the potions. They… helped.”
“No, they didn’t.” He smiled softly. “They just changed your mind, is all.”
She nodded with a soft chuckle. “I suppose they did, at that…”
She stumbled. She was oh so tired. She found herself by her bed. Without another word, she fell into it, losing herself to a dreamless, sound sleep.
Author's Note
stayed up till 3 am just to get you guys this... had an idea and had to finish...
you guys are awesome! 
now time to sleep... next chapter tomorrow most likely....
enjoy!
A Thousand Years of Burning
“Sister! Please, wait!”
Celestia stopped and glanced behind her, up to the emerging stars. Her sister, elegant and beautiful, flew down next to her. Luna folded up her wings, looking at Celestia curiously. “Why are we so far from Canterlot, sister? What is the purpose of this trip?”
Celestia said nothing for a few moments, taking in her sister’s appearance. She was so small, compared to Nightmare. Her fur was, perhaps, darker than it had once been, and her mane had shifted to the ethereal star scape Celestia had once known. Her eyes were colder than they ever had been in the past, but she could see past that iciness to the warmth her sister had. Warmth she would properly cherish, this time. She cleared her throat. “I… It’s time to visit an old friend.”
“Oh? One we would know?”
“I’m not sure if you do or not. Come; before the hour grows too late.” Celestia turned her back and kept walking, her step light. “We’ll need to raise the moon soon, after all.”
“You mean we will raise the moon, sister. You will set the sun.”
Celestia smiled and nodded. “Yes. I mean that.” They walked together, the grass beneath their hooves tickling lightly, damp from the nearby stream seeping into the ground. Luna hesitated even as Celestia walked toward a nearby cavern. “I’ve walked this way numerous times, Luna. It’s safe.”
“We are just cautious. We are not as steady on our hooves as we were once.”
“Of course. Don’t worry - the rocks aren’t very damp. If you need help, I’m here.”
She didn’t need assistance, of course. Luna had always been light and graceful on her hooves. She was just… insecure, now. Another side effect of Celestia’s failing.
Celestia shook her head of the thought and continued forward. There was time plenty for her to face and overcome her feelings on the matter. Time that could be spent with Luna, in their bedrooms, laughing about stories they shared a thousand years ago. Time with Luna, walking the stained glass halls, admiring the history of Equestria and the changes that have occurred. Time spent together.
She would not make the same mistakes this time.
“Sister? Is that where we’re headed?”
Celestia blinked herself out of her head, shaking it and smiling. She looked ahead at where her sister spoke of. “Yes. That’s it.”
“It’s a grave.”
“That it is.” Celestia walked forward into an open area of the cavern, where the underground stream flowed nearby the clearing of flowers. Lilacs scattered the ground, growing in soft bunches. The smell was focused in the air, and the flowers themselves obscured the bottommost part of the small stone grave.
Luna strode up as Celestia sat before the stone. “Who is buried all the way out here?”
“His name was Zephron. He was the royal alchemist, back when that was still a functioning role. We’ve schools for that now, scientists and researchers…” She shook her head with a smile. “He started most of that change. Said we needed to progress, have more than just his meager assistants. Train our ponies through proper schooling.”
Luna seemed to sense the feeling in the air and respectfully sat as well, looking toward the stone. “He lived a long time,” she said after a brief silence.
“I couldn’t stand to be alone,” Celestia replied just as quietly as Luna. Her sister glanced in the direction of the now gently crying Alicorn. “He greatly wished he could live long enough to see your return. He knew how much it pained me.”
“Sister…” Luna nudged her lightly with her wing. The words of comfort died on her lips; there was nothing she knew how to say. The bridge between them had been burnt long ago, and repairing it would take far longer.
“He stood at my side for years. I appreciated his company, but moreso, I appreciated somebody telling me when I was wrong. I learned, after… After your transformation. That I was certainly not the perfect being, the being able to fix all problems, that I had allowed myself to dream up.” Luna now was somewhat more tense. Mentions of her transformation usually had that effect. “I struggled to recognize my faults, either being too critical or not critical enough of my actions. I still struggle.”
“Is it not natural to struggle with ones faults?”
“It is. I just… find I struggle significantly with faults now. Trying to analyze situations and find the best solution to any problem. Twilight Sparkle has been a blessing for me - I’ve learned to delegate much more, and putting my faith in someone else has led to me growing much more.”
Luna nodded softly, eyeing the grave. “... We… I think you’re too harsh on yourself, Tia.”
Celestia sniffed softly and nodded as well. “Perhaps I am.”
“You realize that being harsh on yourself will not cause me to forgive you?”
“I know. I’ve recognized that for centuries. But perhaps some part of me believes harshness is deserved, for what I’ve done.”
Luna glanced back at her and sighed after a moment. “Well… Would your friend here agree?”
She laughed. “No. He would say I’m being a primadona princess with an air for dramatics.” Luna scoffed softly but couldn’t resist the smile that sprang to her lips. Celestia smiled more. “Would you like to hear more about him?”
The moon, unblemished, and the sun, fierce, nearly stayed in their places that day, rather than following their progression, as the two sisters reminisced, and slowly rebuilt, amidst the lilacs.
Author's Note
There we go! One fanfiction completed from the list. I threw this together very quickly, but hardly anyone even notices this fiction anyways, so thanks it'll be fine. I'm a little disappointed in this story, but it was mostly an experiment and a quick idea I had for a grieving Celestia and some of her insecurities.
Thanks for reading!
