Fly Through My Window
“Chickety, chickety, fly through my window.” The soft, sweet voice sung in Derpys’ ear, the voice of an angel. She curled up against the wooden door, wind running through her gray coat and throwing her blonde mane across her eyes as rain pounded the ground and thunder roared fiercely overhead. “My molasses candy.” The voice was walking away, getting quieter. Don’t go. Please don’t go. Tears started to run down her filly face. The world started to dim, darkness slowly creeping closer. “Chickety, chickety,” it was almost a whisper. Don’t go! Please don’t go. Darkness took her.
Derpy sat straight up on the cloud she slept on. Cold sweat beaded her face. She felt like crying, like letting the tears stream until the sun came up and then continue to cry. Instead she curled up with a blanket, whimpering to herself.
She had the dream before, many times before. It wasn’t a dream, it was a memory. It was that last thing she remembered of her mother, the last time she heard her soft voice. No doubt she was dreaming it because of the upcoming baby shower.
The song was one her mother made up, a song for foals to help them sleep at night. It stuck with her throughout her life. She often caught herself humming it in the orphanage as foals stared at her strangely. They didn't stare because of the song, it was her freakish eyes and simple demeanor. Derpy had learned that early on when one of the orphanage's foal-sitters insulted her on it. “Stupid filly, no wonder your mother didn’t want you,” the sitter's voice still echoed in her head.
She had never seen that foal-sitter again. She was replaced with the caring, loving, Ms. Mitera. She helped Derpy with the other foals. Although none wanted to be friends with her, they stopped insulting her. When she couldn’t sleep at night, Ms. Mitera was there to sing her to sleep. Her singing voice was a harsh voice, but a soothing one nonetheless. When she talked, her voice was soft though.
Derpy had grown to think of the foal-sitter as family, and ran to her even in her adult years. If Ms. Mitera wasn’t at the orphanage with all the others poor orphans, she was at home knitting. She loved to knit, but it wasn’t her cutie mark. It was a Pegasus mother comforting a foal. Ms. Mitera always told her that it was because of Derpy that she got it, realizing her special talent was foal-sitting as she held the crying filly one night.
It matched perfectly with her dark coat and straight, light colored mane. She had eyes bright and blue as a cloudless summer day. She was of average pony height, and lacked a horn or wings; an earth pony, a comforting and loving earth pony. When the wind blew it waved her mane across her neck like millions of little arms reaching for something behind her. Ms. Mitera was so pretty in her youth.
Above all she was wise. She had a solution for any problem, and seemed to have experienced everything there was to experience in life. One time, Derpy had run to her after a pair of colts threatened to hurt her after school. Instead of all the other ponies suggestions of avoiding them or trying to be friends with them, Ms. Mitera confronted them. Derpy didn't know what she had said, but the dark coated mare had gotten them to stop harassing Derpy, and they avoided her the rest of the school year.
Derpy ran to her all her life, whether the problem was bullies in school, or another failed test, or that she wasn’t invited to another party. She always gave Derpy a piece of candy and listened as Derpy spoke. She threw Derpy a party when the bubble form appeared on her flank, and even cried tears of joy when Derpy was given her high school diploma.
She was the closest thing Derpy ever had to a mother. Yet, when Derpy grew too old for the orphanage and took a job at the post office, she still fell asleep alone, wondering, and sometimes crying. There was no doubt that her real mother had given her away because of her malformed eyes and slurred speech. Her mother was ashamed to call Derpy her daughter, and rejected her. Derpy knew it in her heart.
She was left at the orphanage door on July fifteenth, nineteen eighty-nine. It was storming that night, one of the fiercest ones Ponyville ever had. The crops needed it though. She wasn't even a year old yet, but she still must have been hideous. She must have looked like a freak even days after her birth for her mother to give her up so quickly. She only remembered her mother's soft voice, and the beautiful way she sung. The only thing her mother ever gave her was the song, a song made to help foals go to sleep.
Derpy wouldn’t make her own daughter suffer through the humiliation of having her as her mother. She loved Dinky; the gray haired, blonde mane unicorn had meant everything to her. At birth she stared at her for hours into the next day, captivated in her yellow eyes that looked so much like her own. She laid on the uncomfortable hospital bed, playing with the foal. Dinky was so energetic when she was born. She loved her too much to let her suffer the humiliation and embarrassment of having Derpy as a mother.
A week after Dinky was born, Derpy left her at the orphanage like she was left by her own mother. It was a warm summer night, the stars shined brightly in the sky and no wind brushed up against her. She stared down at the small unicorn, sleeping in a basket with a blanket curled around her. Derpy had no song to sing to her of her own, so she sang the one her mother sang to her.
“Chickety, chickety, fly through my window. Chickety, chickety fly through my window. Chickety, chickety, fly through my window. My molasses candy. Sugarcube, sugarcube, come in my window, sugarcu… suga…” She couldn’t finish the song that night, and turned away from her daughter, a steady stream of tears clouding her vision. As she walked away she heard Dinky wake from her slumber and cry. Derpy nearly fell down in tears. Was this what her mother felt when she left her? When the door of the orphanage started to open she flew high into the sky, hoping no one saw her.
When she told Ms. Mitera what she had done, the old foal-sitter was furious. By then wrinkles had covered her body, and light color mane was giving way to gray hairs. She had gotten so old; she looked nothing like when she comforted Derpy in the orphanage.
Derpy had never seen Ms. Mitera scream before, but she had when she told Ms. Mitera she left Dinky at the orphanage. She was fuming, furious at Derpy. She tried to defend her decision, that other ponies would insult Dinky because of her, that it would be better that Dinky had no mother. Having nothing was better than having Derpy.
Ms. Mitera wouldn’t hear it. Derpy heard how old she had gotten in her voice. The old pony screamed and screamed until Derpy flew out of her house, never to return. She took the day off from work, and lay in her bed. She had made the right decision to leave Dinky, she couldn’t give her a good life. The next day everypony knew what she had done, everypony except Dinky. Derpy watched the filly grow in the shadows, and she knew Dinky had no idea who her mother was. It was better that way, better that she didn’t know the truth. Derpy wondered if her own mother left her for the same reason, that her mother was more of a freak than Derpy.
No. It was because of Derpys’ eyes, the malformed googly balls. It was because of her speech, and the way she closed her mouth, crunched up. Derpy was the reason her mother abandoned her, not the other way around.
She stared at the nightstand, staring at the invitation. It was from Rainbow Dash, one of her closest friends. Twilights wise demeanor, Fluttershy’s comforting personality, Rainbow Dash’s athletic ability, Rarity’s eye for detail, Pinkie’s flamboyancy, and Applejack’s motherly love was what held Derpy together now. She wondered how she could have ever lived without friends. They didn’t ridicule her about Dinky when they heard, and never brought the topic up after. They invited her to places, to gatherings, to parties, instead of leaving her in the corner of Cloudsdale to rot.
Derpy was so excited when she received the baby shower invitation. She hadn’t gotten out of the house for a while, and some time with friends would have been good. It started tomorrow, and was supposed to last all day. Balloons, music, fine food, among a plethora of other extravagances were promised. Pinkie was hosting it; Derpy had learned that Pinkies parties were guaranteed to be great early on in their friendship.
Derpy crawled out of the bed. There was no way she would be going back to sleep, not after that dream. She put on a coat, and trotted out of the door. The night was dark and damp, the water of a rainstorm still in the air, cooling it. Derpy willed herself to fall through a cloud into Ponyville.
The town was usually quiet this time of night. Not a sound was heard as she flew over and under buildings. The air was moist, but the heat was picking back up. It was dead this time of night, dead and quiet. Sometimes she would just fly through the sky staring at the ground and thinking. She had a place to go tonight, a usual place. She flew to the orphanage she grew up in, and peeked through a window as her flapping wings kept her airborne.
The room was lit by a fireplace at the end of a long, wooden hall. Beds were arranged in two rows against each wall. Hanging were pictures of the foals in random activities, one was fishing, one was at a party, and one just sat on a bed staring at the camera. The light shook from the fireplace, casting moving shadows throughout the room.
All the foals were sleeping inside, curled up in little blankets on little beds. Derpy spotted one little gray unicorn. She was in the same position as the others, her back legs curled up to her front, with a thin green blanket draping her body. Her blonde mane was strewn about on the bed, straight as can be. Dinky moved her mouth as she slept. She trembled, shaking and thrashing in her sleep.
Derpy felt the motherly instinct to run to her daughter, to comfort her in a nightmare. She remembered that Dinky wasn’t her daughter anymore, and stayed still. She did all she could do, stare at the daughter she had given up as her daughter thrashed around in her sleep.
“Why don’t you go talk to her?” a voice called from below. It was full of comfort, and It had a sort of loud softness to it. Derpy looked down and saw Pinkie Pie directly below, staring up. “I’m sure they’ll let you in, you are her mother after all.”
The pink pony was beacon of light in the dead dark of the town. She always looked like she was smiling, and her cotton candy mane and tail added to the flamboyant effect. She stared up at Derpy, her large blue eyes containing no trace of judgment.
“No I’m not,” Derpy said, looking away from the window and soaring down to Pinkie. “What are you doing here? It’s so late.”
“Oh, I’m just setting up for the party. It’s going to be amazing! Or should I call it baby shower, party shower, baby party?”
“You want any help?” Derpy hung head downward in sadness.
“Yes! Come, you can put up the posters!” Derpy followed as Pinkie ran away from the orphanage to the outskirts of the town.
The party was going to be amazing. Pinkie had put up lanterns on strings throughout the area. An ice sculpture in the shape of a foal rested to one side, a humongous punch bowl next to it. Enough tables were set up on the grass to seat all of Ponyville. The entire area was encompassed in a square of white paper, with designs of dancing foals on it. The center was left open for what seemed to be a dancing area. One corner had a large DJ machine, a huge stereo facing towards the crowd with records stacked high next to it. Trees held the paper in the corners of the square, large oaks that stood there for decades. They entered through a slab of wood fashioned to be a gate that was held up by two small trees.
“I’m not done yet. Here, just push these nails in on the trees while I hold the posters. Wait, maybe it should be the other way around. Yeah, you hold up the poster.” She handed Derpy a large piece of paper.
And so Derpy spent the night doing menial tasks Pinkie gave her, putting up posters, relighting the lanterns, and setting up the chairs. She watched as Pinkie brought out the cake, Mr. and Mrs. Cake following close behind. It was humongous, nearly scraping a branch high on tree. It was amazing that Pinkie could pick the whole thing up and lift it onto the pedestal without a hassle.
By the time they were done, the sun was peeking through the night sky and ponies started to gather in town. Pinkie gave Derpy one of her specially made drinks, and the two sat down together. They had idle conversation, until the first guests arrived.
Derpy was assigned the task of greeting all the guests. She was given a funny looking hat and Pinkie told her to say hello to everyone that walked in. So Derpy did, and gave an excited “hello” whenever a friend walked in. She nearly scared Fluttershy back to her shack when she screamed “hello” to her. Derpy stood in the shadows, standing in the shade of a nearby tree. Most ponies weren't even aware of her presence until she greeted them.
Ponies trickled into the encampment of paper, some adorned in their finest clothes, while others came in naked. The last ones came just as the sun was fully coming over the mountains. Ms. Mitera was one of the last to come.
Derpy was shocked when she saw her. They hadn’t spoken in years, ever since she told her about Dinky. She had no clue how to act. Derpy meekly nodded her head as Ms. Mitera walked past her. They met eyes for second. Derpy did not see the anger she once saw in them, but rather saw disappointment. Derpy looked away once their eyes met.
Ms. Mitera was adorned in a light, shiny dress and a large, white hat. Even though she dressed fancy, her age was visible. Where once there was a body of youth and vigor, there was now wrinkles. She limped instead of walked, and breathed heavily for no apparent reason.
Dinky came in with one of her caretakers. There was a different one every week, so the foals never got too attached, but Dinky always seemed to love each one. She smiled at them, looked at them like they were family; Derpy saw whenever she watched her outside. She nearly broke down in tears when her daughter walked past her, laughing and smiling. After she walked past, Pinky signaled for Derpy to shut the gate and for the shower to start.
There was music, games, a feast of food, and a sonic rainboom from Rainbow Dash. DJ Pon-3 played some of the greatest music Derpy had ever heard, and it was louder than the thunder of a strong storm. Derpy was assigned a table with Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie. They were fun, laughing and dancing and playing games.
Derpy came onto the dance floor, alone, as the DJ played a loud song. She moved with the booming rhythm of the song. Her waved her mane in the air shook her Pegasus body to the music. She became lost in her world of dance, fully embracing the tune of the booming sounds.
Dinky joined her dance seemingly at random. The little filly looked at Derpy straight into one eye, she knew one of her eyes were off again. Derpy nearly cried as she watched her daughter pivot and move with the grace and elegance of a filly. Derpy tried to copy her daughter's moves. This would be their only dance, her only chance to embrace her daughter, without making her suffer through the embarrassment of Derpy.
She picked the little orphan up and spun her in the air, looking up as the filly closed her eyes and spread open her arms as if she was flying. She could feel each eye within the crowd staring at her, marveling at the mother and daughter experience. The world became just Derpy and Dinky, the two orphans frolicking as one. It didn't matter that Dinky didn't know she danced with her mother, because they danced. They all knew that Derpy was Dinky’s mother, everypony but Dinky. Derpy stared at her as she spun around in circles. Derpy wanted to take her daughter then, to fly high into the sky and reveal the truth to Dinky. She couldn’t, the filly didn’t deserve that.
The music stopped suddenly, and Derpy put the filly back on the ground.
“You dance well, thanks.” Dinky’s voice was soft like Derpy's mothers was, yet it had energy in it that Derpy never heard before.
“Thank you,” Derpy croaked, and turned away from the gray filly. She trotted back to her table, only to thump her head on the white covering and let tears stream down, silently. Derpy felt a comforting hoof on her back.
“It’s alright sugarcube, let it out,” Applejack said in her thick, country accent. Derpy cried harder, and Applejack embraced her in a hug. She tugged Derpy to get up, and Derpy obeyed. The two walked out of the square of music and lights, far into the town, away the party. Stars were shining high in the sky, and a full moon was peeking out of some clouds. Bugs chirped and buzzed in the distance. Heat radiated fiercely, making the two sweat heavily. Derpy plopped down onto the cold dirt, tears cold against her face.
“I… I can’t,” Derpy tried to say, hyperventilating.
“Shhh. It’s okay sugarcube. I may not know what it feels like for you, but I’ll be here if you need me.” She handed Derpy a napkin, and wiped away the tears. The two sat down in the cold dirt, together.
“Thank you,” Derpy said, as she brushed her eyes with the soft paper. The two sat in sullen silence, except for Derpy's occasional gasps for breath.
Eventually, they heard the trots of another pony draw near. Derpy looked in the direction of the hoof-steps, and saw Ms. Mitera coming. The pony looked old and frail. She wore an expensive, glittering dress, and a large, white hat. Her coat was dark, almost as dark as the night sky. Her mane was white though, a white that always sparkled in the little light of night. She had wrinkles throughout her body, like she was an ocean of skin and waves were always crashing on top of themselves. Nevertheless, she looked wise. She had always been wise, even when Derpy was small. Derpy wondered how she had gotten so wise, what might have happened to her to give her the knowledge of experience.
“Can I have a word with Derpy?” she said, an old croaking in her voice. Applejack looked at Derpy, and Derpy nodded her head. Applejack slowly trotted off.
“What,” Derpy said, before a gasp took her words.
“You still love her. I saw it.” Ms. Mitera said. “You can still tell her, there is nothing stopping you.”
“I won’t let her go through what I went through!” Derpy suddenly erupted in anger. “At least I had you, she’ll have no-pony!”
“She’ll have you,” Ms. Mitera said. She fell to the floor and sat down. “Excuse me, I’m getting old.”
“I’m no-pony,” Derpy said, softening her tone.
“Yes you are,” she said sternly. “I watched you from when you were a filly. I know you better than you know yourself, and I know that you are definitely somepony.” Ms. Mitera coughed. “I may not be your mother, but I have been there with you your whole life. We… we didn’t leave on the best terms last time we talked. I’m sorry, it’s just that… well how did you feel when you were in the orphanage? How did you feel not knowing who your mother was?”
Derpy bowed her head. “Please,” she begged.
“From what I saw you didn’t seem too keen on it, and then you go and throw your daughter in. What was supposed to say? Listen… I didn’t come here to fight. Just… just know that if you ever need someone, I’m here.”
She held out her hoof and Derpy took it. She embraced the Pegasus in a hug, tightly squeezing the pony she once foal-sat for. They stayed like that for a full minute, a relationship on its way to being repaired. Eventually they let go of each other, and Ms. Mitera smiled at her. Derpy smiled back, and the old pony walked back to the now ending baby shower.
Derpy stood still, one question in her mind. The old pony had brought it up, and Derpy had never thought about it prior. Who was her mother?
She flew back home that night, instead of returning to the party. The question consumed her every thought. Who was her mother? She only remembered her soft, sweet voice and the song she sung to her. “Chickety, chickety, fly through my window. Chickety, chickety, fly through my window. Chickety, chickety, fly through my window. My molasses candy. Sugarcube, sugarcube, come in my window. My molasses candy.”
It had a soft rhythm to match her mother’s soft voice, whoever she was. Derpy laid in her bed all night, staring upwards with one eye, and thinking. The questioned evolved from “who was my mother,” to “should I find her?” She started to think of ponies that looked like her, yielding no result. She tried to match her mother's soft voice to another ponies, but with no result. Working completely from her memory of the ponies she encountered when delivering mail, she found no match. She went to sleep, still wondering.
The night was warm, and she was curled in a basket. She had just woken from her sleep, and rubbed her horn. A song had just been sung, it still was in her head. It was soft, something about flying and candy. Where was her mother? Why was she not with her? She started to cry. The world looked so different, so horrid without her. Confusion took her. She cried louder, hoping to get the attention of her mother. What was her name? She never learned it. Wood started to swing beside her, and light engulfed her eyes. She saw a glimpse of a Pegasus flying through the sky before she was taken into a bright, warm place. She was scared.
Derpy woke in the middle of the night. This was a new dream. She never dreamed she was a unicorn, or ever dreamed she was in a basket. She never saw a Pegasus fly off, or even entered the orphanage. Was it the orphanage? Yes, definitely. The door was the same, and the ground. Why did she dream that?
She connected the dots and realized she dreamed of Dinky. She dreamed of Dinky, her daughter, the night she left her, alone, to be claimed by someone else. Now it was Derpy to be confused. She knew she loved her daughter, missed her being by her side, but she never dreamed of her. There was no darkness in the dream; there was the opposite, light. She stayed up the entire night, trying to decipher the dream. She came to no conclusion on the meaning.
Today she was off from work. She spent the some of the day at home, pondering the meaning of the dream. It engulfed her thoughts for half of the day, until the sun was high in the sky, blasting heat into Cloudsdale. It confused her, she never dreamed of anyone else. She always dreamed of herself, why was it her daughter last night? She knew that leaving her was the best, better for the little filly. Why was she dreaming of her?
She remembered Ms. Mitera. The old pony said that Derpy could go to her for anything. She was wise in the past, and age could only have made her wiser. She decided that she would pay Ms. Mitera a visit, maybe she could sort out Derpys’ thoughts.
Derpy flew down to Ms. Miteras’ old, crumbling house at the edge of town. Chunks of wood littered the ground around it, and tiles were missing from the roof. Vines grew over a wall, and weeds took the cobblestones up to the door. The decorations were brown with age and rain, and mold grew on stone. Windows were brown with dust and the wood creaked for every small gust of wind. Derpy walked up the path and knocked on her old foal-sitters door.
Ms. Mitera opened it almost instantly. She spoke as if they had been friends forever, like it wasn’t just last night that their relationship began its recovery. “Derpy, what a lovely surprise. Come in, come in. Mind your hoofs, the mat is right over there.”
Derpy wiped her hooves on a nearby mat and walked in. Despite the outside mess. the inside was neat as could be. Most furniture was wood, and except for the chairs and couch in the living room. Pictures hung from the walls, and Derpy spotted one of her in her youth. She was such an awkward filly, her eyes were worse than they were now and her mouth never seemed to close right.
Next to the picture of her was one of Dinky. The unicorn was smiling, behind her the sun was setting, reflecting off the metal of playground equipment. Ms. Mitera spied Derpy looking at the photos.
“I took that one there. I still work at the orphanage, you know. I’m not as jumpy as I used to be, but I still enjoy seeing their faces. Especially Dinky, she’s a lot like you, you know.” Her voice was frail.
“Dinky’s why I came,” Derpy said. “It’s about last night.”
“The party? Come sit down, let’s talk. Want some cookies?” Ms. Mitera pushed her to the sofa, and walked into the kitchen. Derpy smiled; it was like she was young again. Ms. Mitera came back with a plate of cookies and some tea. She took a seat across from Derpy. “What’s on your mind?”
“It’s not about the party,” Derpy explained, looking down as she remembered dancing with her daughter. “I had a dream.” She explained the strange dream to Ms. Mitera. When she was done, the old pony stared at Derpy.
“You want her back. You want her back, but you still think it’s better if she doesn’t know who her own mother is. That’s what it means, Derpy.” Ms. Mitera took a sip of her tea. “What about Dinky’s father? I always wondered that.”
“He left. I don’t want to talk about it.” Derpy looked down again. She hated to think of that stallion. She suspected the dream meant that, but thought there was more to it. Ms. Mitera took a cookie and stared at Derpy. She didn’t want to leave yet, and still had one more question. “Do you know anything about my mother?”
Ms. Mitera looked indifferent about the question. “No. Your father is dead; you saw the death record, after all. It is too bad that it didn’t show who he was married to. Your mother… all I remember is what some other foal sitter told me. He said that she left in a hurry that night, through the rain.”
Derpy sighed. “Oh well.” She started to get up.
“Wait! He said that there was another Pegasus that night, in the sky with the storm clouds. It had a blue coat, yes. And a rainbow mane, yeah that’s it.”
Derpy stood in shock. The description was of Rainbow Dash. “Thanks,” Derpy said, a smile coming across her face. She didn’t know why she was happy. She never cared about her mother before, why now? “See ya.” She flew out of the door, and up towards Cloudsdale. The sun was blindingly bright.
She flew past her house, past the post office, and straight towards Rainbow Dash’s home. She wasn’t home, typical Rainbow Dash. They were close enough friends for Derpy to know where she was, and so Derpy flew high into the sky. She flew to the top of the tallest building of Cloudsdale, and beyond that. She kept flying until she saw a speeding blue dot.
“Rainbow Dash!” she screamed. Her words were slurred as always. Nevertheless, Rainbow heard her and came soaring down. Her spectacular, multi-colored mane flapped in the immense speeds, almost ripping off of her. She stopped just before she slammed into Derpy.
“Did you see me? I must have been amazing, huh?”
“You always are,” Derpy praised. She learned it would break Rainbow’s heart to say anything else to her. “Can we talk? As in, down there?” She kicked a hoof down to Cloudsdale.
Rainbow instantly knew something was either important or something happened. “Is everything okay?” she asked Derpy, grabbing her shoulder.
“Yes Rainbow Dash. Can you come down?” Derpy responded
“Sure.” Confusion filled Rainbow Dash's voice.
The two soared down to the city of clouds, and for once Rainbow Dash didn’t make it a race. They flew into Rainbow Dash’s home, and sat down on a cloud. “What’s wrong?” Rainbow Dash asked once they were comfortable.
“Nothing, it’s just…that…” Derpy did not know how to ask the question.
“What? Well let it out, Derpy!” She gave Derpy a nervous, playful knock on her shoulder.
“You saw my mother, when you were a filly, on July fifteenth, nineteen eighty-nine.” Derpy bowed her head as she spoke it, the words nearly a whisper. She had the date memorized, the date she was abandoned to the orphanage. “It was raining that night, and you were trying to clear the clouds.”
“I remember that! It was a little after I got my cutie mark, yeah. I knew I had to join the weather team, so I was trying to practice. Celestia, that was amazing. The thrill of my first storm, alone! Of course I could have handled it, if my father never made me get back inside.”
“Do you remember seeing a pon-?” Rainbow Dash cut Derpy off.
“He was always trying to hold me back. The damn stallion, thinking he could boss me around. Maybe that’s why mom left, it had to be because of him. He was just too bossy, too mean. Yeah that’s why…” Her voice grew to a whisper, and Derpy could see tears welling up in Dash’s eyes. “Who am I kidding?” She burst out into tears, throwing herself on the cloud, crying hysterically. Tears streamed down her face like miniature rivers. “It was because of me! I was too stubborn, too mean! I shouldn’t have yelled at her when she didn’t want me to try that trick! I shouldn’t have screamed when she forgot to sign me up for flight school. Why did I push her away? So what if I didn’t get to see the Wonderbolts? I didn’t have to run away like that! I would still have a mommy if I didn’t!” She curled into a ball on the couch. Occasionally she erupted into tears; mostly she hyperventilated and whimpered to herself. Derpy only heard “I love you…mommy,” and “please come home.”
Derpy was confused. If anyone, she thought that she was going to cry. Yet, her best friend burst out into tears right in front of her, for a simple question. Derpy felt bad. She should have thought about Dash’s life. She never mentioned her parents before, and now Derpy could see why.
The two stayed there for half an hour. Derpy tried to comfort her friend, to no result. Dash only whimpered and cried, no matter what Derpy would do. Eventually, Dash sat back up and looked at Derpy. Her eyes were red and glassy, and she still breathed heavy. “I’m sorry,” she croaked.
“Rainbow Dash, I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” Derpy said.
“No, you deserve to hear it. You are my friend, after all. It all started when I heard the Wonderbolts were coming to town. I wanted to see them, but the tickets were expensive.” She took deep gasps as she spoke. “I begged my mom so much. I knew we didn’t have much money, but I still wanted to go. I screamed at her. I told her I hated her; that she should lose her wings and fall to the ground. I was sent to my room. I ran away that night, and hid in the stadium the Winderbolts were going to be performing at. I slept there, and watched them the next day. I was hidden underneath a seat. They were so fast, so awesome. I knew I wanted to be one of them, but then I was found. I cop brought me back to the station where my mom was. I was so angry when I saw her, they were just about to try a sonic rainboom when they found me. I don’t think they were able to do it, but still. I screamed at her in front of everyone. I told her she was a terrible mother, that she was ugly, and old, and fat, and so much else. She just stood there as I screamed, listening to every word. When I was finished, she dropped two tickets to the Wonderbolts. They slowly waved in the air as they fell. She bought them the night before, and then she walked out the door. My father came to pick me up. When I got home, she was gone, and never came back.” Rainbow Dash looked like she was going to cry again.
The two stood there, looking at the floor. Derpy wanted to ask if Rainbow had seen her mother the night that she was abandoned, but couldn’t bring herself to ask it. Eventually she worked up the courage to ask it. “That night, your first storm, did you see a pony running away from the orphanage. She might have looked like me.”
“Yeah, yeah I saw one. She’s your mother, isn’t she?” Derpy nodded her head. Rainbow Dash threw herself on Derpy, clutching her tight in a hug. “She was running towards Sugarcube Corner. She was singing some sort of song. Something like ‘chickety, fly through my window. And then something about a sugarcube and candy”
Derpy sang the song for her friend. “Chickety, chickety, fly through my window. Chickety, chickety, fly through my window. Chickety, chickety, my molasses candy. Sugarcube, sugarcube, come in my window. Sugarcube, sugarcube, come in my window. Sugarcube, sugarcube, my molasses candy.”
Rainbows voice was cracking. “Find her, Derpy; it’ll be better that way. Thank you… for listening I mean.” She was released from the hug and Rainbow stared her in the eye. She looked like she was about to cry again. “Go to Pinkie Pie, she might know something. Go, get out of here.” Rainbow tried to smile, only for it to fade from her lips.
Derpy walked out of the door, and flew to Sugarcube Corner. Ponies were busy in the markets and foals were playing in the streets as she flew over them. None of them paid Derpy any mind until she entered the bakery.
“Well hello there, deary.” Mrs. Cake greeted Derpy as she walked through the door.
“Anything I can help you with.”
“Derpy!” Pinkie screamed, rushing out of the kitchen door to her. “Did you like the party? Of course you did, it was amazing! One of the best ones, but there wasn’t enough balloons. More balloons would have made it super fun-tastic!” Pinkie was hopping around, pure smiles and joy.
“Hello.” Derpy tried to be heard through the chaotic noise around her. “Mrs. Cake, can I talk to you?”
“Why, of course, deary. Pinkie!” She nearly sung her name. “I think I hear Poundcake upstairs. Can you get him to sleep?”
“Sure thing.” Pinkie charged up the stairs.
“What is it, deary?” She looked Derpy in the eye. Mrs. Cake was always nice to her.
Derpy looked down, almost in shame. “It’s about my mother.”
“Oh.” Mrs. Cake looked shocked. “I’m sorry dear, but what would I know about that?”
“On July fifteenth, nineteen eighty-nine, my mother ran to your store. It was raining, and she might have been singing a song.”
“I remember her.” Mrs. Cake’s voice became an eerie whisper. “She was our tenant. She lived in Pinkie’s room. She wasn’t very talkative, not in the slightest. She always went straight up to that room. She paid the rent on time, but that was the only time me and my husband ever saw her face-to-face. She always looked like she was hiding something. July fifteenth, I found out what. It was you, now that i think about it. She ran down and into the storm that night. She clutched you so tightly; I didn’t think you could breathe. Now, I didn’t know there was a foal in my house, and I was surprised when I saw you. I told her to stop, and she looked at me. She looked me in my eye; she looked so confused. I wanted to help, and when I took a step forward she darted out the door. I tried to run after her, but the rain was too strong. When she came back without you, I screamed at her. I was worried that she did something. I told her to leave, and she did. She packed her things and walked out into the night. The storm was gone by then.”
“Do you know what she looked like?” Derpy was excited; a description would help her tremendously.
“It was a long time ago, deary. I’m sorry.”
“That’s okay.” Derpy looked down sullenly. “Do you know where she went?”
“Last I heard was that she went into the mountains. Over by Sweet Apple Acres, try over there.”
By then Pinkie was running down the stairs again. “They’re back to sleep!” she screamed, and a cry came from the foals bedroom. “Whoops,” she said, and ran back up.
“Would you like anything to eat, deary?” Mrs. Cake handed her a cupcake and Derpy ate it. As she enjoyed the quick, sweet snack, and Pinkie ran back down.
“They’re asleep again. So what’s going on?” Pinkie said.
“Nothing, deary, Derpy just has somewhere to go.” Mrs. Cake nodded to the gray mare, and she nodded back.
“Bye, Derpy!” Pinkie called as Derpy walked through the door. She flew to Sweet Apple Acres. There was scarcely a cloud in the sky, and she barely heard the noise of the ponies below. She was lost in her thoughts. Her mother once lived in the bakery, a place Derpy had visited more times she could count. Her friend slept in the room that her mother slept in, long ago. Derpy herself had lived there with her, before she was abandoned. She chuckled, for no reason other than to chuckle.
She arrived at Sweet Apple Acres as Applejack bucked a tree. Apples fell down, thumping the ground, sometimes splattering. The tree vibrated with the force of the kick and Applejack put down a basket. She flicked her hat in a more comfortable position and watched as Derpy landed on the ground before her.
They were surrounded by trees. Birds chirped high and shade cooled the ground. It smelled like there was just a rainstorm, and hardly any wind rushed through the green leaves. “How ya doin’ Derpy?” Applejack asked with her thick country accent, a warm smile across her face.
“I might have found my mother,” Derpy said with eager confidence. She no longer felt the need to bow her head as if mentioning her mother was some sort of taboo topic of conversation.
“Well that’s jus’ great. Who is she?” Applejack said.
“I don’t know, but you may, or maybe Grannysmith. Can I ask you a couple of questions?” Derpy said.
“Sure ya can. Let’s go back to the house, there might be some lemonade. Applebloom was making it, last I saw.”
The two walked back to the old, wooden home in silence. Applejack left the basket beside the tree. The woods grew quieter with each step, and they left hoof prints in the wet grass. Wind started to rustle through the leaves, and a rabbit hopped away a couple of times. Apples scattered the ground, most were brown with rot.
They arrived at the house as the sun started to set. Grannysmith was sitting on a rocking chair, and Big Mac worked a wooden machine. It creaked and groaned as he walked around in circles, and apples crunched inside it. Derpy and Applejack walked inside the large, wooden home. The wood creaked underneath. The inside was dusty, and light poured through the windows in dusty lines. It was quiet inside, except the distant creaking of Big Mac working outside, and the groaning of the wood. Applebloom sat in the kitchen.
“Ya got the lemonade done?” Applejack asked her sister.
“Yep! Sure did sis’. Ya want some?” Applebloom bounced from her chair, smiling with eagerness. She always seemed to be eager for something. Before Applejack could answer her question, she was already pouring two glasses from a cool, wet pitcher on the counter. Ice banged against the glass as the yellow, tangy liquid rushed in. Applebloom spilled some as she went to the next glass.
“Why don’t you go sit down?” Applejack said to Derpy. Applejack walked over to her sister and helped pour. Derpy took a seat on a large table. The seat was a long log, fashioned into a bench, and the table was grayed wood nailed together in a long, flat line.
Applejack came back with two wet glasses of lemonade. She put one in front of Derpy and sat down next to her. Applebloom ran outside to play.
“So what’s on yer mind, sugarcube?” Applejack asked as she took a sip of lemonade.
Derpy asked the same question she asked the others. “On July fifteenth, nineteen eighty-nine, did you happen to see a pony come through here? It was raining, and at night.”
Applejack nearly coughed up her lemonade. She sat back and looked at Derpy. Fear was in her eyes, and her mouth moved to try and find any word. “I, I don’t think she’s ya mother, sugarcube,” she finally managed to say.
“Why?” Derpy asked.
Applejack looked like she didn’t want to say anything. She looked like she was going to jump and run. Instead, she spoke. “I was jus’ a filly, a year older than Applebloom. It was night, and the stars shined so bright. Ya’ should have seen ‘em. I was outside playing when Grannysmith tells me to come inside. Being the good filly I was, I went in. When I walked in Big Mac slammed shut the door. He locked it. We don’t ever lock it. I asked what was goin’ on. Grannysmith jus’ told me not to worry, so I go upstairs. I look out the window up there, and I see a horrible thing. It was just walking by. It had some sort o’ bug wings, and holes in its legs. It had these blue eyes, and sharp teeth. Derpy, it was one o’ those changelings.”
Derpy widened her eyes. She stared at Applejack, and Applejack stared back at her. Derpy couldn’t have been a changeling, no, she was a pony. She was a Pegasus. Sure, she could be awkward, and clumsy, and had weird eyes, but she was no changeling. “That couldn’t be,” Derpy started to say.
“I know, sugarcube. No, that would be jus’ weird. You ain’t no changeling. No, your mom just took another turn away from the farm. That’s all.”
The two sat in the kitchen a while longer. Water pooled underneath their glasses and the melted ice dimmed the yellow of the lemonade. They sat in silence, sipping on the tangy, sour liquid.
“Now that that all’s taken care of, mind if I ask ya a question, sugarcube?” Applejack eventually asked. Derpy nodded her head. “Ya don’t have ta answer if ya don’t want to, but… why’d ya go and give up Dinky? Ya still love ‘er, everyone saw that last night at the party.”
Derpy answered slowly. She didn’t feel like crying then, she didn’t feel anything. “I wouldn’t be a good mother to her, Applejack. Look at me, my own mom left me, whoever she is. Other ponies would make fun of her, and I wouldn’t be able to help her. She deserves a better life, and having me is worse than having none.”
“That ain’t true, sugarcube. There ain’t no pony that would dare make fun o’ you, and neither would they make fun o’ Dinky. Look at me an’ Applebloom. Sure, I ain’t actually her mother, but dang it I feel like one. Ya know whenever she goes out with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, I worry for her. Who else would do that, ‘cept for a mom? Ya know I was the last in my class ta get my cutie mark, and so is Applebloom. No pony dares to make fun o’ her or me; they know what’ll happen to ‘em if they do. And look at this ‘ere house. Half the time there’s somepony trying to take it from me, whether it be the bank or there was jus’ a bad harvest. She don’t complain that I can’t get her no scooter, or help ‘er with ‘er cutie mark. She loves me and I love her. Dinky would feel the same, sugarcube.”
Derpy bowed her head. She still felt numb. Her mother could very well be a changeling, and she might have made the wrong decision with her daughter. By that time the first stars were seen in the sky, and the sky was lit with a bright pink of the setting sun. “I need to go,” Derpy said, and got up from the table. Applejack followed her outside.
“Safe flying, sugarcube,” she said as Derpy flapped her wings and sailed through the warm sky of twilight. As she flew up to Cloudsdale, as the sun set over the mountains. Darkness engulfed the sky and the world below. By the time she drew near her home, all the stars lit the night sky and a full moon illuminated the cloud city. Derpy ignored the few wondering ponies on the dark streets of Cloudsdale, and flew directly home. She fell asleep instantly, feeling numb as ever.
She had no dreams that night. The next morning she lay in her bed, thinking. Could her mother really be a changeling? It didn’t make any sense, she couldn’t change her shape. It could explain why she was so different from the others, it could explain her iconic eyes, some sort of error between mixing pony and changeling. Yet, she didn’t feel like a changeling, not one of those monsters. She remembered she didn’t know what being a changeling felt like.
She was relieved when the alarm for work went off. Delivering pony’s mail always cleared her mind. The blue mailmare uniform fit snugly around her, and the brown mail bag never dug into her side.
She flew from her house to the ground and to the post office. The sun was high in the sky, warming the ground. She suddenly felt like having more lemonade as she flew downward, the heat making her sweat through the uniform. The air had a heavy humidity to it, and yet wind blew strongly, making the leaves on the trees whistle. Ponies greeted her along the way, and she even saw Rainbow Dash. The blue Pegasus acted as if nothing happened the day before as she flew from cloud to cloud. Derpy greeted her and Rainbow dash gave a friendly hello.
She reached the postal office as sweat beaded her face. Fans spun overhead and small ones blew air from the corners of the room. Blue tiles decorated the floor of the building, and dust flew lazily through the air. A gruff, gray earth pony sat behind a long, white desk and smiled as he spotted Derpy.
“Well if it isn’t my best mailmare,” he said in a rough voice. “Not much for you today. You should be done by the afternoon, you can take the rest of the day off after that.” He placed a small pile of envelopes on the desk. Derpy grabbed them and stuffed them in the brown bag at her side. She nodded to her boss and left the building, back into the humid, hot air.
The day went on as usual. She stopped thinking as she placed envelopes of various sizes into mailboxes. An old pony treated her to cookies and milk when she gave him his mail. She didn’t stay long at his house, and continued with the rest. Her troubles no long existed, dissipating with the repetitive process of opening and closing the boxes as she pushed envelopes into them.
She reached the last pile. It was a small pile, all the envelopes were of assorted shapes and colors held together in a rubber band. As she approached the bakery, the smell of sweet dough and frosting filled her nostrils. Her mouth watered as she drew closer. She reached the mailbox and opened the small hemispheric door.
“Hi, Derpy!” Pinkie’s head erupted out of the small, metal box. Derpy fell onto her back as mail was thrown into the air and scattered on the ground. Derpy wasn’t surprised as much as startled; Pinkie did this at least once every two weeks.
“Hi, Pinkie,” Derpy said, scrambling to pick up the mail on the dry, grassy ground. Pinkie pulled herself out of the mailbox and stood over Derpy. She waited until Derpy had picked up all the mail and stuffed back into the bag. Derpy handed her her mail that she had tried to put in the mailbox. Pinkie took it and stuffed it into the now dented mailbox. She turned to Derpy.
“Were you scared? I bet you were. Ha, that never gets old.” Pinkie talked with the flamboyancy and energy of a foal that drank a gallon of coffee. “So anyway, I heard you talking to Mrs. Cake and wanted to give you something. Who would have thought that your mother lived in my room? It’s so weird, like fate. Have you ever heard of fate? I have, it’s pretty weird. Twilight would say it’s like a book, but I would say more like a chair. Have you seen any good chairs? I want a chair. I bet you want this.”
She thrust a rolled up, aged piece of paper in Derpy’s face. She took it with hesitation and looked at with cautious curiousness. “What is it?” she asked.
“I don’t know. It’s something I found one day, when I first came here. Mrs. Cake told me I’d have to clean the room, and so I did. There was a lot of interesting stuff, like this huge dirtball. It could have been used to play with, if it didn’t explode when I touched it. When it did I was like ‘ahhhhh’ and ran back. There was this feather that flew to a corner and I followed it. It landed on that paper. I picked up when I saw it, and kept it ever since. It’s probably your mother’s, maybe it’ll help you. I gotta go back inside, you don’t know how long I was in the mailbox.” She turned around and bounced up the stairs and into the bakery. When she opened the door, Derpy was hit with a wave of sweet smells.
Birds chirped in the trees when Pinkie left. Wind rustled the leaves in the trees, and grassy dirt was thrown into the air with a gust of wind. Derpy was left confused and stunned, holding the yellow, wrinkled, torn piece of paper. She stuffed it into the brown bag and flew to the post office. After depositing all the mail expected to be sent, she flew home. She grabbed the rolled piece of aged paper and took it with her.
When she returned home, she opened it without hesitation. It was a map of sorts, old and faded, but major details could still be made out. The pictographic language of ponies could still be seen, and the drawings of mountains and a long dotted line that went through them was also seen, but without difficulty. It looked like it outlined some sort of trail, and that at the end there was some sort of building. Derpy knew instantly that her mother must have ran there, and that she might still be there.
The trail looked to be only half a day’s fly and Derpy decided she would go tomorrow. Her boss would understand, certainly. Her mother could still be there, at that building. She might finally know who her mother was, be able to clutch her in a hug, or to fly away. Derpy did not know which she might do.
She spent the rest of the day preparing for the journey. She took an old, dusty, worn saddle bag from her closet, and filled it with snacks, water, and the map Pinkie had given her. She filled it until it was brimming at the top, and could barely hold it. It was better to be safe than sorry.
The night was warm, and Derpy could barely sleep with the excitement. She would finally find her mother tomorrow. There was no chance she was a changeling, no way. Her mother was a regular pony, a pony that abandoned her early in life. Derpy didn’t hate her for it, after all, she had done the same Dinky. She just wanted to see her mother, at least once. She wanted to stare into her eyes, memorizing every detail of her face. Most of all, she wanted to know the name of her mother.
In the middle of the night, when the moon was full and high in the sky and stars shined brightly, twinkling in the darkness above, Derpy went to visit the orphanage. She had the saddle bag on, since she didn’t plan to return home and wanted to set out once the sun was in the sky. Right now though, she wanted to see Dinky.
What Applejack had said made Derpy think. Maybe Derpy could be a good mother to Derpy. Sure, she’d have to move down to the ground since Dinky was a unicorn, but it would be worth it. The town was eerily quiet, not even the birds chirped. It was cool down below, but still sweltering. There was little wind, and less light. Buildings towered over Derpy as she flew low through them to the orphanage. She sang gleefully as she flew, singing the song that her mother sang to her.
“Chickety, chickety, fly through my window. My molasses candy. Sugarcube, sugarcube, come in my window. Sugarcube, sugarcube, come in my window…” she hummed and occasionally burst into joyous song. She caught a glance of the window of the foals room in the orphanage as she flew past.
To her surprise and dismay, Dinky was still up. She leaned out of the window staring out into the distance, her little body barely able to see over the edge. Her daughter stared out into the mountains, and beyond. Derpy watched her as she silently analyzed every little detail of the landscape, the still grass, the occasional bird flying by, and a squirrel that ran up to a tree and hid itself inside it. She spotted Derpy and greeted her.
“Can’t sleep either, huh? That’s a nice song, where’d you learn it?” Dinky asked. Her voice was filled with energy and kindness, a filly’s voice. She didn’t know that Derpy was her mother, that at that very instant, she unknowingly spoke to the very mare that brought her into the world. Derpy stopped flying and looked up at her daughter.
“From my mother,” she said. She hung aimlessly in the air, looking at the daughter she once loved, and still loved.
“She must be a good singer,” Dinky responded, smiling. Derpy smiled back. The two stayed like that for a minute. It must have been awkward for Dinky, but for Derpy it was a dream come true. “Well I gotta go, see ya.” Dinky retreated back into the room and curled into a bed. Derpy hung in the air awhile longer, until she could no longer stand the sight of the orphanage and flew off.
She flew aimlessly flew through town, until the first specks of light poked over the mountains. Then she took out the worn map, and located the point where it started. It was at the edge of Sweet Apple Acres. Derpy flew over the buildings below. She flew over the wooden home of Applejack, and waved to Big Mac as he tended to the animals. She arrived at the starting point, and followed the map.
The route was a hard one. She was glad that she flew over it, rather than walked on it. The mountains were high and wide, teeming with trees and animals of all sorts. There was no wind, and not a cloud in the sky. The ground was littered with the litter the forest, browned leaves and acorns. She smelled pine, and heard the majestic singing of the songbirds in the trees.
She flew farther and farther away from Ponyville. It grew to a small dot behind her, as the mountains grew denser with trees in front of her. The path curved and turned uncountable times, but Derpy followed it all the same. Twice she stopped for a bottle of water and a bite of an apple, the heat permeating her dense, sweaty, gray coat. She never stopped for long, and picked up right where she left off with more speed than before. Ponyville disappeared altogether, and Derpy was lost in the mountains with naught but for an old, warn map to guide her. The sun was shining brightly by then, blasting radiant heat down onto her. The birds chirped louder, and the smell of pine grew stronger. Large waves of leaves rustled whenever a gust of wind came through, however rare that was.
Eventually, she reached the end. She flew lazily above a dense thicket of trees. Whatever she was looking for, it was below her. She darted down to the ground, and slammed through the branches and trees. The stout, pointy sticks jabbed at her as she rushed down with the speed of a missile, but still she managed to get through them.
She hit the ground with a thump. She kicked up dust around her, and pain rocketed from her head. Nevertheless, she got to her hoofs, and stared in awe at the scene before her. She stood in a ruin, overrun with the plant life of nature. Vines gripped large boulders that had tumbled to the ground, while the main building was overrun with weeds sprouting through the floor. Large stone columns stood around an immense, stone, triangular building. Rotted, stone steps were connected to the desolate building. It was eerily silent, no animal moved or chirped. Even the wind seemed to stop. The shade of the overgrown trees blackened the ruin. Derpy trotted forward slowly.
The entire area was covered in thick shade as overgrown trees reached high overhead. It was abandoned, reducing the once great area to a hot, desolate place. Derpy stepped over and around stones strewn on the dusty floor. She admired a stone column, strange symbols and ponies carved in it. She trotted to the building, cautious of her steps.
Where was her mother? She expected something more hospitable, such as shack or a house. Instead she had gotten a ruin. There was no way she could have lived here. Maybe it could have been used twenty-one years ago, but not now. Still, Derpy hoped to find some trace of her mother. She searched every corner, every rock, before she stood at the foot of the steps of the building. She didn’t want to go in. It looked too immense, too monolithic to be a friendly place. Still, she knew she had to go in. Something that could lead her to her mother could be in there, and she had to find it.
She placed a hesitant hoof on the first step. Before she could take another step, a voice called out to her. “Hello, Derpy, my dearest daughter.”
She stopped moving. She could have been mistaken for a statue, and yet she turned slowly around. Dust was kicked up into the air along with small pebbles as a tall, dark coat, red mane pony started to walk out of the shadows of the trees. The bright red mane glistened in the bright shade, swirling in the rare gusts of wind. The eyes were of a dark blue, and a long, spiked horn sat on its forehead. It wore a long, green cape that swirled with a gust of air behind it. The mysterious pony was slender, with long, thin legs and a misshapen and dirty tail.
“Mom?” Derpy croaked.
“Yes, Derpy, come here, I’ve missed you,” the strange pony said. The voice was a deep feminine voice, with a slight echo to each word. “You do not know home much I have missed you, Derpy.”
The gray Pegasus was hesitant, simply staring at the mare that appeared before her. After a while tears of joy streamed down her face and she charged for the mare. She slammed into her, yet she did not move. It was as if she was a tall, thin wall. Derpy clutched her in a hug, crying hysterically into the fur of the mare’s coat. She sat there, clutching her mother as the giant ruin sat nearby, crumbling stones all around. No pony was around to hear her cry, except for her newfound mother, and her cries broke the desolate silence of the ruin.
Yet her mother did not clutch her. She merely watched as the gray mare gripped her in a tight hug and cried its misshapen eyes out. It stood like a statue and stared daggers at the hysterical pony. Her eyes cut like a knife, yet Derpy did not mind. She had found her mother, and the mare had said she missed her. She missed her! Derpy was relieved, as if a load had been taken off her back, even though she still carried the heavy saddlebags of traveling equipment.
She held her mother even longer, still crying. Her crying slowed down to a trickle of tears and an occasional gasp, yet she clutched her mother so tight in a hug that Derpy was surprised her mother could breathe. Her mother started to sing. Her voice was deep, and harmonic, with a slight echo with each word.
“Chickety, chickety, fly through my window.” Derpy erupted into tears once more, bawling as she clutched her mother in a hug. She fell the ground, her arms gripped her mother's, long, slender legs. “Chickety, chickety, fly through my window.”
A green circle of fire erupted from the dusty ground. Her mother continued to hum the tune of the song. She stared down at her with icy blue eyes, and a wide smile grew across her face. The flames grew higher, and Derpy backed away from the mare, staring as the mare stood still in the center of green flame. The flames slowly grew higher and higher, until they almost covered the twisted horn.
“Chickety, chickety, fly through my window, my molasses candy.” Flames completely engulfed the mare, and she started to sing with a sardonic tone. “Sugarplum, sugarplum, come through my window.” The singing got louder, echoing throughout the ruin as the flames retreated to the ground below. “Sugarplum, sugarplum, come through my window.”
Derpy watched in horror as Chrysalis took the place of the long, slender mare. “ My molasses candy,” Chrysalis finished the song. Derpy stood in stunned, fearful silence. The first thing she noticed was the old, green, cape falling silently to the ground. Then Chrysalis expanded her wide, insect-like, baby blue wings. Derpy turned her gaze to the twisted, black, menacing horn that rested on the changeling queen’s head. Her light green eyes stared at Derpy, and a wide smile covered her face. It seemed as if she peered into Derpy’s soul. Dusty light shined through the holes on her hoofs and her blue, swirling, torn tail. Her blue mane swayed in a gust of wind like a feather attached to her neck.
“Did you miss your mother, Derpy? Do you still love me?” she said in a sardonic, sarcastic, menacing tone as the words echoed around her.
Derpy stood still in shock. It was true then, she was part changeling. Derpy stood, trying to comprehend the truth. She started to shake her head. “No,” she said in a whisper. “No, no no,” she said, consecutively getting louder. “No, no, no, no, no, no!” She sprung into the air and away from the changeling queen.
“Your love was delicious,” Chrysalis mocked as Derpy flew through the trees, away from the desolate, evil ruin.
Branches stabbed Derpy’s sides as she flew higher and higher. Leaves came loose and slammed into her face; the snapping of the branches was a mocking, evil song. Still, Derpy flew. She fled away from Chrysalis, through the darkness of the trees and pain of the branches. Chrysalis laughed behind her, and she flew higher. She didn’t answer the queen’s question when she screamed no, she just refused to accept the truth.
The last branch snapped, and Derpy flew into the light. The sun was still high in the sky, and not a cloud was seen. She didn’t stop to acknowledge the sights of the mountains, but continued to fly. She flew back to Ponyville, retracing the flight. She cried as she flew, tears falling to the ground below like little bombs mode solely of water. She flew faster than before, leaves fell off of branches as she flew, creating a swirling cloud of green behind her.
She knew where she wanted to go. She wanted to go to Ms. Mitera’s house. The old pony had always been wise, and had been there for her when Derpy needed her. There was no doubt that she would find some comfort in her voice, and find some new wisdom in the wise words she was bound to say.
She flew until the sun began to set over the mountains, illuminating the sky a bright orange. She flew past Sweet Apple Acres, the trees sitting calmly still as Applejack carried an empty basket. Derpy ignored her when she waved hello. She went past the library, past Sugarcube Corner, and past the orphanage.
The realization hit her as she flew over a building. If she was half changeling, then Dinky would be a quarter changeling. Now she definitely could not tell Dinky the she was her mother. Not only would she face ridicule because of Derpy, but she would be shunned for being the daughter of a changeling. The realization made her sick; that any chance of her becoming Dinky’s mother again was gone made her want to vomit. Her world shattered, and she did not think she could pick up the pieces.
Simultaneously, another revelation hit her. Chrysalis had sung the song wrong, and it wasn’t in the same voice as she remembered. It was sugarcube, not sugarplum. And the voice she remembered was soft and comforting, not sardonic, deep, and echoing. Still, Derpy pushed it out of her mind. So what if she got a few words wrong? Her voice was bound to change with age, and she was bound to forget such a stupid song.
Ms. Mitera would help her. She always had, and Derpy felt some relief when the old, ruined building of hers came into view. She landed on the welcome mat and wiped her hoofs. A dancing frog with mold growing on one side made her smile a little, it was funny, especially within her shattered world.
She pounded on the door and waited. She stood for a minute, and knocked again. Maybe the old pony was losing her hearing now as well. She knocked again, and again, and again, until a voice called her name from behind. It was soft, softer than anything in the world, nearly whisper.
“Derpy, uh, Derpy,” Fluttershy said. Derpy slowly turned to face the yellow Pegasus. She already knew the news, but did not want to believe it. Fluttershy flew up to the gray mare and clutched her in a comforting hug. “Ms. Mitera had a heart attack. She’s in the hospital,” Fluttershy whispered in Derpy’s ear. Whatever remained of Derpy’s world shattered once again. Derpy felt numb again, and she knew the feeling was going to last a lot longer this time. “I told her I’ll watch her house for her and,” Derpy ignored Fluttershy and released herself from the hug, head hung low. Fluttershy understood as Derpy slowly trotted away.
The only pony that had been a mother to her was in the hospital. She wasn’t there when it happened, she had left to find her mother. She could very well be dying at that instant, her life slowly draining from her body. Now she had a mother though, a changeling queen. She was princess then. She tried to make the thought give her some happiness, but it brought only the constant reminder that she was half a changeling.
Derpy walked to no particular destination. She just walked. She slowly reached town again, with the hustle and noise of the market. She tried to walk through the throngs of ponies in the immense heat, and tried to ignore the screams of the merchants chastising her to buy something. She passed Applejack, but gave her no recognition. Applejack didn’t seem to notice her as she walked by the cart.
“Come get your nutritious, delicious apples here!” Applejack called into the huge crowd of multi-colored ponies. Her voice barely was heard through the plethora of others.
Derpy continued to walk. She realized she was headed in the direction of the hospital. Her head hung low, and her hoofs scraped the ground as she put one in front of the other. She felt nothing, no happiness or sadness, anger or fear, simply nothing.
The hospital came into view. It was of moderate size, once a mansion for a rich pony. A sign in front bore the white cross symbol surrounded by red, and sunlight glistened from the many windows. Smoke emanated from the two chimneys, and a couple of ponies stood around the outside. Four guards stood around, two guarding the entrance and two more passing through on patrol. Ever since the wedding incident, nowhere was without guards. They always carried long, pointed spears with them.
“Where do you think they come from?” Derpy overheard a pony asked his friend.
“I don’t know for sure, but they sure wrecked Canterlot,” the friend replied. The royal wedding was still a hot topic for conversation.
“I hear they come from eggs. I heard that when they’re hatched, their mothers bite them with those teeth on the neck. It’s supposed to mark them as theirs.” Derpy stopped walking, standing still as her head hung low.
“So what, I heard that when they’re young, they’re brought before their queen. She teaches them how to feed, brings them in with us so they can get some love. And those holes, I hear that they mean something, like the family that they’re from.”
“Only Celestia knows why we don’t just get rid of ‘em. They are a menace, and should be brought to justice.”
Tears swelled in Derpy’s eyes. It was too much to handle. It was too much, too much. A guard passed Derpy, and saw her tears. He stopped in his track and handed her a tissue. “Too many ponies dying these days, don’t worry; you’ll get over it eventually. We all lose somepony,” he said in a deep gruff voice.
Derpy stared at the tissue as tears started to stream down her face. It was too much too handle. She was a changeling, a beast that everyone hated. The only pony that ever loved her was dying in the hospital. She could never be with her daughter. It was too much, too much, too much.
Derpy lunged at the spear in his hoofs. She grabbed it as the guard took a step back in surprise, the wood put a splinter in her. She soared into the sky, spear in hand. She flew just above the highest point of the hospital, and put the sharp, metal point against her chest.
“No, don’t do it,” somepony screamed down below.
“Put it down,” another screamed.
Derpy was hysterical as she hovered in the air, awkwardly holding a spear to her chest. Tears fell like bombs below, and her screams of sorrow could be heard for miles. The world was too much. She couldn’t handle it, no pony could. She couldn’t handle being a changeling and being hated by everyone; she couldn’t stand sitting idly by as Ms. Mitera slowly died in the hospital; she couldn't stand to even look at her daughter without erupting in a fit of tears for want of being with her. It was too much, just too much.
A crowd had gathered below, eyes staring up at Derpy. Pegasi had circled around her, either screaming or watching. There was an orchestra of fake comforting words and complete screams, and an army of ponies gathered to watch her take her own life.
She slowly started to press down on herself. She winced at the pain as it punctured her skin and blood trickled down below. She continued to press. Some Pegasi dove to stop her, but they were grabbed by others. She would push harder if they came near.
“Chickety, chickety, fly through my window.” A soft voice cut through the chaos of the others. It sung a soft melody, the one her mother sang to her. Derpy stopped her wailing, taking deep breaths as tears continued to pour. She looked down and spied an old pony, wrinkles covering her body and a cutie mark of a Pegasus mother with a baby foal. Ms. Mitera sung the song of Derpy’s youth, in the same voice that was sung to her all those years ago. She was escorted through the crowd by a pair of doctors, one holding an oxygen tank with tubes that led to Ms. Mitera’s nostrils. She looked weak, as if she could fall at any moment.
“Chickety, chickety, fly through my window. Chickety, chickety, my molasses candy. Sugarcube, sugarcube, come in my window. Sugarcube, sugarcube, come in my window. Sugarcube, sugarcube, com… co…” The singing ended as Ms. Mitera fell to the ground. Dust kicked into the air, and the two doctors instantly converged on her, attempting to get her back inside. Ms. Mitera used the last of her strength to fight against them.
There was no way she could know the words to the sung. Derpy only ever hummed it in the orphanage, never sang it. She could only know it if... the spear fell from Derpy’s hoofs as she realized it. It plummeted to the ground below to shatter into a million small wooden pieces on the grass.
Ms. Mitera was her mother. Derpy flew down to the old pony, faster than she thought possible. Rainbow Dash would have been impressed.
She landed hard on the ground, but ran to Ms. Mitera. The crowd around them watched. Derpy kneeled by her, holding one of Ms. Mitera's hoofs in her own. The old pony was weaker than Derpy thought, she shook and struggled to stand, but could not. She took deep, long breaths, and slowly lifted her head to Derpy.
“Love…you… my daughter… Dinky…you… mother, love her...So sorry... didn't know... what I... was doing... so sorry.” The words were nearly a whisper as they came from the old pony’s mouth with difficulty.
Tears fell onto the dark fur of her mother as Derpy tried to hear each word. Ms. Mitera, her mother, thumped to the ground. She no longer took the deep breaths she once did.
“Come through my window. My molasses candy,” Derpy finished the song as she placed her head onto the still body of her mother.
Not a sound was heard. It was as if the voices died with Ms. Mitera, and all anypony could do was watch. Derpy cried, the dark fur of her mother soaking the tears off her face. Derpy fell to the floor, and rested her head on Ms. Mitera's body as tears poured out.
The crowd dispersed one by one, and night took the place of the once golden sky. Derpy nearly fell asleep, until one of the doctors gently nudged her. Derpy looked up at his face, brown and gruff with dark eyes. “I’m sorry, you need to go. We’ll contact you later.”
Derpy nodded and stood up. She watched as her mother was brought back into the hospital. They handled her gently, and disappeared within the building. Her last words floated in Derpy’s head. “Love you, my daughter. You’re Dinky’s mother, love her. I'm so sorry.” Derpy was sure that's what she tried to say.
Derpy turned away, and flew off. Ponies looked up at her in curiosity as she soared through the night sky. It was warm, as always, and the moon and stars shined brightly overhead. The wind picked up and rustled the leaves, but otherwise it was dead silent. She flew to the orphanage.
The lights were lit within the orphanage, along with many other buildings. It was still open, and Derpy marched through the door, head held high. A clerk looked surprised at the sudden appearance, and looked up from a magazine, shocked. A wooden desk stood between her and Derpy, with assorted papers and pens scattered among it.
“Can I help you, ma’am?” she asked.
“Tell Dinky her mother’s here for her,” Derpy responded.
