I awoke to see nothing, like I had been doing for the past twenty years. I could hear a nurse trotting about my room, making her morning inspections. The almost-rhythmic beat of the heart beat monitor quietly beeped next to me.
“Nurse, nurse! Can you read me mah memoirs?” I asked. I tried to reach over to her but failed. I couldn’t see the nurse. I couldn’t see anything at all anymore.
“Sure, Applejack.”
“Thank you kindly, sugar cube,” I replied. She took a deep breath in and began to tell the story.
*****
I threw the stick as far as I could. It pierced the wind and created a soft shadow that glided across the fields of Sweet Apple Acres. It landed with a soft thump upon the damp, dew-covered grass. Beside me stood my faithful companion Winona.
“Fetch, girl! Come on!” I shouted, nodding my head towards the stick.
The dog whimpered and hung its head. Still whimpering, she limped forward a few steps before falling onto the ground. I reached my hooves down and lifted the little border collie up to her feet. She fell back down again, and curled up in a ball next to my feet. I sighed, ruffled her hair and laid down next to her. For the first time that day, I felt a lovely breeze brushing against my coat.
“Sweet dreams, Winona” I said, a grin forming on my face. She didn’t notice, and continued to sleep peacefully.
Today was like any other summer’s day in Ponyville. The sun beamed down upon my coat, and fluffy clouds dotted the sky. For a few moments I simply stared at the distant horizon. Mountains rolled on for miles, and in the distance the tall towers of Canterlot were silhouetted against a great mountain.
I glanced over to the orchard. Big Mac was working as usual. Even though he was distant, I could see a frown plastered onto his face. I had told him what was going to happen today a few hours earlier. Let’s just say, that he did not take it lightly. He didn’t get angry, he accepted it but for an hour afterwards he simply sat in his room and cried.
I lay my hoof upon her small paw. She reacted with a short squirm to get comfortable. Soon she was sleeping peacefully again. I lay there with Winona for two hours. I watched the clouds drift by, and the birds floating past blissfully chirping in harmony. The breeze grew quieter, until the only thing I could hear was Winona’s soft snoring next to me.
*****
“AJ, how long ago was this?” the nurse asked, interrupting her reading.
I lifted my hoof, and with a nostalgic grin said, “Seventy-seven years ago. Ah wrote this story a year after. Can barely remember the day now. This book's helping me remember though.”
The nurse continued reading.
*****
In the sky I saw a small flower floating down. It drifted down until finally, it rested upon Winona’s sleeping body. It was beautiful, tens of different colours lined its many petals. There was something weird about this particular flower though, there was no center, only petals. Its various colours had no end, going on forever. Its spectrum of beauty was a stark contrast to the pale fur of Winona. She continued to sleep, blissfully unaware at what had just landed on her small body.
*****
I began to tear up. I would never see that flower again. I would never see anything again.
“Nurse, what’s it like to see beauty?” I asked, as I felt tears trickle down my coat.
“I can’t say, beauty is a very hard thing to describe. But to me, I see beauty in the little things. The way the sun warms your body up after the cold night, or hearing young fillies playing outside. It’s not something you can put into words,” she replied.
“I wish ah could see it again, ah haven’t seen anything in twenty years. Ya have no idea what that does to an old mare like me.”
“Applejack, I know how you feel. I’ve lost friends before.”
“Well, sorry to hear that.” I replied, wiping the tears from my eyes. I heard the rustle of pages, and a short breath in. She began to read again.
*****
For what seemed like hours, the flower rested on Winona’s back. But a sudden movement from the border collie sent it floating away. I tried to grab it, but before long it had flown away to show its beauty to somepony else. It wouldn’t be long now, so I decided to try get Winona to run one last time.
“Come on Winona,” I said, stroking her head, “Wake up sugar cube.”
She rose up slowly, yawning heavily. And in a few moments, she was on her feet. I looked at her, a grin on my face, and nodded my head towards the stick. She began to pant, and twisted her head in confusion.
“Go on girl, fetch!”
Something magical happened, she actually did it. She bolted over the fields, wind flying against her. It had been 2 whole years since she had run like this. It had been 2 years since I had ever seen her happy. She had grown old, like we all had these past 10 years.
Winona ran past a wooden cross, it had the name Granny Smith etched onto it. She had died 3 years ago. One night she simply went to sleep and never woke up. Applebloom found her cold body lying in bed that day. She had never seen death, poor thing didn’t even know what it was until Granny’s passing. We tried to comfort her, Big Mac and I. But she just couldn’t handle it. She ran away, not wanting to see the terrible aftermath of death. Applebloom came back a month later, a small teddy in her arms and her friends beside her. She was happy, until I told her Granny had already been buried.
The little dog’s run had turned into a pitiful limp. After a minute of slowly limping forward she had finally reached the stick. Winona grabbed it with her mouth, but a rough cough made her fall back down the ground in a slump. She panted, and looked up at me as I ran towards her. She had begun to cough and splutter. This time it was much worse than any of the other times she had done this. Her coughs were rough and raspy. In her eyes I could see the immense amount of pain she was going through. They were bloodshot, swollen and she was struggling to keep them open.
*****
“Ah may not be able to remember much about that day. But ah remember those eyes well. That’s an upside to being blind, ya can’t see those darn bad moments in life. Ah couldn’t see Dash when she passed. All I could hear were the moans coming from the bed next to me. Ah would never of wanted to see what she looked like, ah don’t even wanna imagine it,” I said, interrupting the nurse.
“I saw Dash when she died, Applejack. She had a certain beauty to her. Her cancer luckily hadn't affected her on the outside. I don’t even want to think about what she was feeling on the inside. Luckily she had you to share her final moments with,” the nurse replied. I stayed silent for a few moments.
“Twi was there too. Still can’t believe she passed so horribly.”
“Oh yes, Twilight Sparkle. I saw the crash on the news. I’m very sorry.”
“It’s fine sugar, don’t you worry.”
I wiped a tear from my eye, and she begun reading once again.
*****
I tried to comfort Winona, but she was in so much pain it didn’t matter. I regret ever encouraging her to run that far, she didn’t have to. But my utter longing to see her do it again had overcame me. Shoulders shuddering, I began to sob into my hooves.
“Ah’m sorry Winona,” I cried. Tears trickled down onto her body, making it damp and muddy. “Come on girl, let’s go in.”
I grabbed Winona with my mouth, and gently lifted her onto my back. I trotted slowly through the orchard, wind beating down on my mane. A great gust of wind blew my hat away, and into a nearby apple tree. I cursed under my breath, my mane was now blowing wildly about in the wind. It was only a few more metres to my house, and to Fluttershy. She would have arrived by now. I didn’t want to be late for her so I decided to leave my hat in the tree, to collect later.
Winona’s moans ceased and she began to sleep, still resting on my back. For a moment, I looked upon Granny Smith’s grave. We had never wanted her to be buried in one of them fancy graveyards. She wanted her resting place to be home. “Ya’ll better bury me right here so ah can watch over ya!” she used to say. We always giggled at that, but when the time came we had to obey that wish and be serious about it. I remember the last thing she said to us, “If ah go tonight, don’t ya whippersnappers be making a fuss!”.
Winona and I arrived at the door. The wind stopped abruptly as I raised my hoof and opened it. I trotted slowly inside, and felt the sudden warmth of the house hit my fur. In the hallway stood Fluttershy, a saddlebag hung on her back. She had the dark marks of dried up tears surrounding her eyes.
“Fluttershy, you okay?” I asked.
“Yes... I’m fine. Um, I’m nearly ready. I’ll be ready in a minute,” she squeaked.
“Just... call me when you're done.”
I walked into the living room and saw Applebloom laying on the floor, reading one of those new teenage pony magazines that had started coming out. I put Winona down on the sofa and let her sleep. I lay down next to Applebloom.
“Applebloom?” I said, poking her softly to get her attention.
“Yeah sis?”
“Stop reading that a second, ah’ve got ta tell ya something.”
“What’s that sis?”
“It’s about Winona, she won’t be here much longer. Fluttershy’s going to give her a special pill that will make her sleep like Granny did,” I said. I was trying hard to make it bearable for her, to not repeat what happened when Granny Smith passed.
Applebloom didn’t respond, and she didn’t cry, For a minute she lay there, staring into my eyes. She got up, and walked over to Winona. She lifted her hoof and lay it upon Winona’s sleeping body, and began to whisper something into her ear. I couldn’t hear it, but I still to this day think it was the most beautiful thing she could've said to a dying dog. After that she walked back over to me and lay down, tears had begun to form in her eyes. In a few moments, she had started to cry.
“Come here sis, let it all out,” I said, reaching out to her.
I wrapped my hooves round her, embracing her tightly. She continued to cry, sending teardrops down my body. She started to moan, and she hugged me back. For a few minutes we lay there, in each others hooves, remembering all the happy moments we had with Winona. Applebloom had always been close to the dog, almost as close as I was. But, she had shared many a happy time with her.
One time, Winona chased little Applebloom right up a tree. She was barking madly at my sister, and with good reason. You see, Applebloom had only gone and stolen his ball to play catch with her friends. Silly filly should’ve seen it coming. Another time, I was taking Winona out on a walk, she managed to break out of her leash and ran after a little squirrel. Applebloom was nearby at that time, playing with her cutie mark crusaders. She ran after Winona as fast as she could until she managed to catch up with her. Applebloom grabbed her, Winona started to smother her in licks and me and Applebloom laughed for ages. Those days are long gone now.
Fluttershy appeared in the doorway with a frown on her face. The tear marks had gone, and a wet tissue was poking out of her saddlebag. When I noticed her I stopped hugging Applebloom and got up.
“Sis, Stay there. Ah don’t want you to see this,” I whispered to Applebloom.
Saying nothing more, I walked over to Winona. She was still sleeping, unaware to anything that was happening around her. She slept so beautifully that day. Without the terrible look that comes with being old, she would have passed for a puppy. She cried softly into the pillow her head was resting on. The little thing was in so much pain, I couldn’t bear to see her like this. With a tear falling from my eye, I slowly picked up Winona and put her on my back.
I turned my head, looked directly into her eyes and said “It’s time for bed, Winona.”
*****
I heard the faint cry of a pony next to me. It wasn’t the nurse, she was drinking a glass of water. I hadn’t heard the pony ever come in, was it a ghost, or was I just hearing things? Suddenly, she gave out a soft squeak.
“Nurse, who’s the other pony in the room?”
“I don’t know, she just dropped in here. I’m not sure who she is.” she replied “What’s your name?”
“Flutter... shy,” she squeaked.
“Oh Fluttershy, ya came here to see me! Ah’m mighty grateful. Now how’s Rarity? Her... what do ya call it... alzheimers going alright?”
“No,” Fluttershy said, beginning to cry.
“It’ll be fine sugarcube, don’t ya worry. Now let’s let the kind nurse get back to the story.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
I heard the distinct sound of a levitation spell coming from the nurse, then the drink being dropped down onto a table. The nurse took a deep breath in, and continued to read.
*****
Fluttershy started to walk to the stairs, with a depressed sigh I followed her. On the way I passed a picture. It was the last picture we had ever taken with Granny Smith. She was sitting in front of a cake Pinkie had prepared for her. It was the tallest, widest and most scrumptious cake I had ever seen. I sat beside her, with Winona sleeping on my lap. It had been a few days after the poor thing had recovered from an injury, so she had to wear one of those cone thingys. Applebloom and Big Mac were on the other side of Granny, smiling and laughing. A small golden label at the bottom said Granny’s one-hundredth birthday!
She died three days after.
We climbed the stairs slowly. Winona continued to sleep peacefully on my back, whimpering every so often. The stairs creaked like the worn out bones of an old pony. All of them were covered in dust, spider webs or both. I had never thought that Winona’s stairway to heaven would look like this. Dirty, dimly lit and covered in dust. Not exactly the best of goodbyes, but at least she’s getting one unlike poor Granny.
In a few moments we had reached the top of the stairs. My hooves slammed down onto that landing, making it creak and waking Winona up. She barked, startling Fluttershy, who had just begun to open my bedroom door. We had decided to do what what was about to happen in the bedroom a few days before. My bedroom was the first place little Winona had slept when I took her in. I was just a filly then, times were good. The bedroom was where our friendship had started, it was where it was going to end. Now, Winona had become much more than a simple work dog. She wasn’t even a pet to me anymore, she was the closest friend I could ever have.
I still remember the day we got Winona vividly. It was a warm fall evening, and whilst me and big mac were on a walk we started to hear whimpers coming from a far off field. We ran as fast as our little legs could carry us, never looking back. We kept running until we found the little border collie puppy in an old abandoned shack. She was covered in mud, dirt and fleas and her eye had been sorely bruised. We couldn’t just leave her there, so we decided to ask Granny if we could keep her. Of course she let us, like any good granny would. After a long discussion on what to call her, I came up with the name Winona. That night she slept at the foot of my bed, and she’s been doing it ever since.
I walked slowly into the bedroom. Fluttershy stood at the end of the bed, she held a small cup in her mouth. She covered her eyes, but beneath I knew she was crying. I wish I didn’t have to make Fluttershy do it, but there is no one else I would trust with such an important thing.
“Come on Winona, lay down here,” I said, pointing towards the foot of the bed, “It’s time for you to get some rest.”
She didn’t jump down like she used to, I had to softly drop her onto the foot of my bed. She cried, and what a terrible cry it was. It pierced my ears like a drum, and drove itself into my very soul. I just wanted to get it over now. Sweat dripped down from my head, and my breathing quickened. It would all be over soon, I just wanted it over and done with. Fluttershy grabbed a syringe from her saddlebag. Tears had begun to rain down her face, she wasn’t even trying to hide it now.
“Sugar, you don’t have ta do this if you don’t want to. You’ve been through a lot lately, what with Angel and all,” I said, putting my hoof on her shoulder.
“You can do this Fluttershy, come on. You had to do this with Angel, you can do it again. Come on Fluttershy!” she said to herself, brushing her hooves through her hair frantically. Why she was speaking to herself instead of me, I would never know.
Fluttershy continued to panic, sweating and flapping her wings quickly. But she started to take deep breaths, and with the help of me comforting her, she managed to calm down. We stood there for a few moments, staring at eachother. I saw utter despair in her eyes, Celestia knows what she saw in mine.
She grabbed a small bottle from her saddlebag. A label covering it said Must be used in the specified dosage to prevent pain. I didn’t know that dosage, and with Fluttershy as the only vet in town after the last one left, she had to do it. With a harsh hiss, the rusty lid of the bottle popped off. Inside was a sort of yellow liquid, which Fluttershy poured into the syringe. She spilt a few drops onto the floor, her hooves were shaking as she finished pouring it in.
“Applejack... You should say goodbye to Winona. If you can, that is,” she whispered, with the syringe in hoof.
“I think ah’m gonna do that Fluttershy,” I said with a grin, tears beginning to form.
I walked over to Winona, who was still sleeping. I jumped up onto the bed, making the dog bounce. My hoof touched her paw, and I began to say my final words to her.
“Winona, wake up a moment for mommy?” I asked, poking her softly. Thankfully she woke up, and looked at me in a dazed and confused stare.
I pointed out the window, right to the sky. “That’s where Granny is, ah sure do miss her. When ya get up there, make sure she knows we still remember her. As for you, Winona. Well, thanks. Ya sure did a good job, and I’ve enjoyed working alongside ya. Now, you be a brave girl now, don’t want to make mommy sad now, don’t ya. Ah love you Winona, ah always will. Night.”
I looked at Fluttershy, gave a quick nod and she began to walk over. She shielded her eyes as she softly inserted the syringe into Winona. The drug began to take affect. Winona’s fur quickly grew pale. She began to whimper as the effects of the drug begun to take hold. The whimper turned into a cry, one that I had never heard before. Then it turned into a moan, a long and low moan. I started to stroke her coat in a desperate attempt to ease her pain. But before long, the cries stopped.
“Goodbye Winona, ya go to sleep now. Don’t worry about me, ah’m just fine.” I said, trying desperately to hold back the tears, “You go play with Granny now, goodnight girl.”
She laid her head on the foot of my bed, and went to sleep.
*****
As soon as the nurse finished, I heard Fluttershy beginning to weep heavily. She must of had her hooves in front of her face, because the cries were muffled and quiet.
“Applejack, I’m so sorry. It’s been so long and I’ve never told you that... I gave Winona the wrong dosage. I’m so sorry, please don’t hate me,” she cried.
Suddenly, a heart wrenching pain flowed through my body. I cried out in agony, and clenched my stomach. My breathing became rasp as I tried to get air between the pain. But before long, the pain vanished, allowing me to breath normally once again. A few moments later, I could finally talk to Fluttershy.
“It’s fine, don’t you fret Fluttershy. I forgive ya. Well hay, if it makes ya feel better. When ah get up there, I’ll say sorry for ya.”
The End
Authors Notes: I would like to give a big thank you to Kiwi Poo, my main editor. Thanks to Cocoli on DeviantArt for the cover image (hope you're fine with it, if you read this). More thanks go to the EQD pre readers for inspiring me to do this rewrite, and the Ponychan reviewers for reviewing the fic.
