One Week! That's It!

Jack sighed. He HATED waiting for the MALP’s data to come back. It seemed like such a long time.

Being put into the Stargate Program had changed his life. Instead of an old man wanting to be left alone, he had saved the world. Twice. Or maybe more. A lot more. That brought a smile to his face. He was the great Jack O’Neill! Leader of SG-1! He was…

“We have contact” a voice called, snapping Jack back into reality. “The atmosphere is similar to Earth’s, there is enough oxygen to breathe… Actually, it’s exacly like Earth’s. But for some reason, we can’t get a video feed.”

“Did you send in the MALP that had the broken camera? You know, the one that said ‘DO NOT SEND VIDEO BROKEN’ written on it?” a voice next to Jack said sarcastically. He turned to look at his second in command.

“Come on Carter, you can’t seriously believe…” he said, cut off at the last moment by the voice.

“Umm… We might have washed it.” The voice said nervously.

“You washed a MALP?” came another voice from next to Jack. “Wouldn’t it short circuit?”

“Sorry!” The voice cried out, “We were testing the new waterproofing for them!”

“Did it work?” Carter asked enthusiastically.

“Yes...” the voice replied cautiously.

“Great! Now we can…” Carter said excitedly, before being cut off by Jack.

“Okay! We get it! Cool new waterproofy… Stuff.” He said. “Now time for find-y bets!”

Daniel sighed. “Not again Jack.”

This time Teal’c interjected, “I find his reactions when he fails quite amusing.”

“Thank you Teal’c! Now as I was… Hey!” Jack turned to Teal’c, about to say something when Daniel came in, and ended the discussion.

“Fine, we’ll make bets.” He said, rolling his eyes.

“Yes!” Jack cried, “Today’s the day I will win! Today is the day there will be a new race of primitive cavemen! What about you all? What do you say?”

“New advanced civilization” Carter said, without skipping a beat.

“Magic” said Teal’c, sounding serious enough to make Jack crack up.

“Talking horses” Daniel said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Jack was silent for a moment as he recovered from Teal’c saying “Magic”. Then he replied with “You guys should take these more seriously! Think of it as a team bonding activity!”

He was met with blank stares.

“Practice for being gambling hobos in the future?”

Stares.

` “Practice for…” He paused. “I got nothing”

Two sighs of relief. One stare.

“Okay! Let’s go!” Jack said, before ducking through the Stargate, followed closely by Teal’c, who went in a less enthusiastically, but quickly all the same.

Carter and Daniel shared a look before sighing and stepping through, following their leader and comrade.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZKbyygV4SI)

As they stepped out of the Stargate, the first thing Jack noticed was that he was in a castle. The second thing he noticed was that the Stargate was in a wall. The third thing he noticed was Teal'c getting out of the Stargate behind him.

"We are in a castle" Teal'c said calmly.

"Nooooo, we're in a playground for dragons" Jack replied (you guessed it!) sarcastically.

Carter and Daniel came in behind them, blinking at the sudden light. Carter looked over to the MALP. It was just sitting there. She gave it a look over. She chuckled and pointed to some paint on the flat surface. Daniel face-palmed and chuckled, remembering the earlier conversation. Then he looked up, and realized they were in a castle. Followed by Carter. Their jaws dropped simultaneously. Jack chuckled at them.

"You didn't notice the bright red carpet the MALP was on, but you noticed a tiny splotch of paint on a tiny portion of it." Jack said. "That's actually kind of sad."

Then he realized something of his own. "Wait a minute, this is advanced architecture! This cannot be happening!"

Carter just stood there, smirking, as Jack ranted.

"Guys?" Daniel said cautiously, looking at the hole they had made when arriving. "Do you think the owner of this castle is around? Because the Stargate makes a pretty loud..."

He didn't get to finish his sentence. A bright flash of white light, followed closely by a less bright, dark blue one. Jack screwed his eyes shut. When Jack felt he could open his eyes without being blinded, he opened his eyes and saw something... Two things he never expected to see. Horses.

He closed his eyes. "Please don't talk, please don't talk, please don't talk" he whispered to himself.

"What are you and what are you doing in my castle?"

Fuck.

Jack heard Daniel do his diplomatitary... stuff with the horse. The talking horse. TALKING. HORSE. TALKING HORSE!!!!!!!

Jack sighed and got up, startling the smaller horse. Upon a longer-than-a-half-a-second inspection, he noticed these horses had horns. And wings. He sighed again. "One question." he said in a tired voice.

The smaller horse looked at him patronizingly. Then answered. "What is thy..." She (Jack assumed it was a she) cleared her(?) throat, "YOUR question?"

Before Carter could stop him, he asked "Can you do magic?" he felt like an idiot saying that.

"But of course, can your kind not?" The smaller horse replied.

Jack groaned and facepalmed.

He rolled over, hearing the small blue horse say "was it something I said?" to which Teal'c replied in what Jack thought was the worst way possible.

"We had made a bet that all of us won except for him" Teal'c said.

Jack groaned.

"Okay... What are th... YOUR names?" she asked.

Carter replied to that. "I am Major Samantha Carter, the big guy with the golden forehead is Teal'c, the guy talking to the other horse..."

"Pony." The blue... Pony, interrupted. "We are ponies, not horses."

"The other... Pony, then. That's Daniel Jackson. And the guy on the ground wallowing in self-pity is Colonel Jack O'Neill.

"Interesting names. I am princess Luna, and my sister is Princess Celestia. We are the co-rulers of this country, which is called 'Equestria'. Carter chuckled at that.

Jack got up. "Nice to meet you.. Luna, was it?" She nodded. "Can you give us a demonstration of magic?"

Carter rolled her eyes. Teal'c looked at her expectantly. Luna smiled and walked over to her sister.

The group of Celestia, Daniel, and Luna talked for a moment. Daniel was smiling.

"Okay, this is going to be a longer than normal mission. Princess Celestia notified us that there is a DHD here, and we are going to use it to dial Earth and let them know we will be staying for a prolonged period of time." Daniel said, still smiling.

"How long?" Jack asked, wary of Daniel's smile.

"About a week" he replied.

"Okay. Dial 'er up!" Jack said in an awful Southern accent that made Daniel laugh.

"We'll need the DHD to do that Jack." Daniel said. "and it's pretty obvious where it is." He pointed to the wall next to the Stargate, where there was a well crafted outline of a DHD.

"Ah" Jack said. "How do we access it?"

Daniel pointed to Princess Celestia "Magic" he said, chuckling.

Jack was going to make a sarcastic remark, but that had ended badly before, so he decided against it.

Princess Celestia's horn glowed. The outline of the DHD was surrounded it the same glow. It pulled itself out of the wall, and was placed against it softly. Even Daniel looked impressed.

Jack looked inside the hollow wall to see a DHD."Well that was easy." He said as he began to dial Earth.

"Wait!" Daniel said, stopping Jack before he pressed the third button. "We shouldn't just give away the address to Earth."

"We will leave, we understand you need for secrecy." said Celestia, walking out.

When they were gone, Daniel turned to Jack and motioned for him to continue.

The stargate opened

Jack went over to the MALP. He pressed the radio button on the MALP, and began to speak into it. "Hello, this is Colonel Jack O'Neill. I'm calling to tell you all that we will be staying for a week. About. If we don't come back within 8 days, remove our IDC from the database. O'Neill out."

"Are you sure, Jack?" came General Hammond's voice, "That's a long time to be off-world."

"It was Daniel's Idea. But, anyway, did you hear the first part?"

"Yes, we did." Hammond replied. "We'll do it on one condition."

"What's that?" Jack said, already knowing what it was.

"Don't make us fulfill the second part of it."

"Second part of what?"

"The first part."

"The second part of the first part. That's helpful."

Hammond chuckled. "Good luck Jack."

The Stargate cut out, leaving silence. The Princesses came back in, and Daniel got his smile again. Jack was about to ask when Celestia's and Luna's horns began to glow.

"Daniel." Jack said cautiously, "What did you do?"

"You'll see in a moment." Daniel said.

"You better..." He didn't get to finish the scentence, a bright light flashed from the Princesses horns toward his team, they were enveloped in a bright light, and then lowered to to ground.

"Daniel." Jack said again. "What just happened?" Jack turned toward him, only to find his mouth hanging freely. In Daniel's place was a dark green unicorn with a brown mane that looked an awful lot like Daniel's. He sputtered for a moment before his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he collapsed.