Wrong side of Heaven..

by The Crestfallen Soul

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Main 6, Princess Luna, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Tragedy, Princess Celestia, Dark, Human
Length: 1332

Its every Bronies dream to go to Equstria, to meet the main six and to live in a world of peace and harmony but what if Equestria is only mean't for Ponies?

As an Atheist I've never believed in religion, the idea of an Afterlife is something I usually darkly chuckle at but I do envy religious men and women.. The idea on how they find such comfort and security in their faiths, how they believe that their religion gives them all the answers they need and then there are Atheist like me who are still trying to find the answer to everything and at the same time.. Nothing.

My Little Pony is indeed something quite odd to find a sense of understand, how the show brings forth emotions of happiness and delight even when I am close to the brink of despair. I've always found an odd sense of comfort in the show but it still doesn't completely stop the darkness of depression from wrapping me in a cold embrace of pain and suicide.

I beg you to read and listen to my story, to learn from where I went wrong and try to make amends for my what I have done though allow me to give you this warning reader.. A world of Light and Purity holds the darkest shadows.

Published 2015-06-12 17:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-12 17:50:01 UTC

Chapter One: A world I once loved.

"To the living we owe respect, but to the dead we owe only the truth."

Voltaire.

Its a cold night I realize as I see my own hot breath float from my mouth like steam from a kettle and how icy frost covers the windows of both family homes and parked cars, as I walk through the deserted streets of this lonely town that I call my home I ponder on my destination and the events that have made me seek it. An argument with my loved ones that give me shelter and warmth but criticism and abuse.. They are my family, well they are more friends then family but their words still bring me pain, like knives cutting at scars that wounds have closed long ago, that has caused this journey of mine across my frozen home town to an old destination in the dead of the night.

I shiver as a gust of frozen wind blows into my face, cutting like razors against my cheeks, so I tighten my scarf and try to conserve my body heat so I don't freeze to death.. Freezing to death would be so painful, slow and painful as my body would slowly being to falter and my organs shutting down one after another, it would be a horrible way to die this night but thankfully I spy my destination a few meters away from me in the distance. A medium sized wooden bench facing towards an open road with a single street light bathing light onto it.. Many people who walks the town streets at day or either night usually don't even take notice of it but it and I have a history that spans a great distance of time with so many great and terrible events such as my first kiss, days out with my grandmother, my first break up, the day of my nieces first birthday and finally the death of my grandmother but alas there are many other events that happened on this simple bench.. Seems fitting that this spot is my last destination.

I sigh and slouch down into the bench and find a warmth grow from within my core even though the cold wind continues its frozen onslaught on my being, I've always found comfort here at this spot to the point where I can block out the chaos of the world and all of its hate.. Werther be of my extended or the religious fanatic nuts of this small lonely town. I came to this bench after my first attempt on my own life.. I remember running here holding my bleeding arm, I remember how the other children egged me on to stab the scissors into my right fore arm, I remember Mother Hart's face of disgust and fear as she hit me with a wooden rod and tried to grab a hold of me and finally I remember as Farther Holt sat down and tried to comfort me as the paramedics came to treat my bleeding wound.

I look to my bag that rests limply beside me, its black leather look feels so smooth and lush, its dark colouring matching my black trench coat, jeans, shirt and boots.. If a stranger saw me at this moment of time they would think I've just been to a funeral where in all honesty I'm just dressing for my own.. I dip my hand into bag and grab a hold of a metal object, I pull it out and I stare deeply at the 9mm pistol in my hand, its a small gun but its all I need. My breathing starts to quicken as I place the gun to the side of my head. I remember when I decided to become an Atheist, I remember the first time I watched my little pony friend ship is magic and I remember how much I loved it.. I always wanted to go to Equstria so I could live in a world of harmony where I would never feel crushing sadness ever again. I sigh as my last tears roll down my cheeks and finally I pull trigger, the last thing I hear is a bang that leave me deafened and then.. Nothing.

-~ Sunset Meadow, Southern Equstria

My eyes explode open are blinded by a bright light source, I take in large gulp of air which burns my lungs and causes a coughing fit that racks my body with pain. After the coughing stopped I just lay on the ground I was on staring up towards the amber sky I start to realize that the ground I lay upon isn't snow but grass, I turn my head to the side to see that my assumption was right and I am laying on fresh green grass that sways in a cool breeze. I turn to my head to the other side to find that the once green lush grass has been stained crimson red that I believe is my blood, I groan as I force my body to sit up and stand, I look to where I was laying to see an indent of my body on the grass but where my head lay with a large blood splatter coming from the right side. I touch my head checking for the gunshot wounds but besides for finding some dried blood on my head, hair and clothes I am perfectly fine.. I stand in this open field with so many questions such as Where am I? Why am I not dead? Is this my blood here and where is my gun?

I stand in the field with the breeze caressing my whole body, I watch the sun set in the distance past many, many hills and the thought that I am in the middle of nowhere and its getting dark makes me start moving my legs away from the scene of "My Death" heading kinda north but still a bit west way.. Unfortunately since I have no idea where I am going it is now night time, there are random noise of nature and creatures and I'm sure something is stalking me in the bushes a few meters away from myself.

"Uh.. Hello? Is someone there?" I ask worriedly to the bushes, my question cause the once rustling bushes to go dead still and silent and this only causes me to worry more about safety, thoughts such as some wild beast leaping from the bushes and ripping my body asunder flash through my mind and I begin to realize that my once urge to take my own life has completely left my mind and now for some insane reason I want to live, I don't want to die like this!

"Who.. Or what ever you are just stay away from me!" I shout angrily at the bushes and this time something begins to emerge slowly from the green foliage that hides it form, the first thing that penetrates from the cover of the bush is what I believe to be a green, maybe teal stick like thing and what follows from after the stick thing is something that I feel what will make me at the same time be overloaded with cuteness and scream in fear for the rest of my life, Out of the bushes appears the hand loving, human fetishist pony.. Lyra Heartstings who is starring up at me in a mix of fear and fascination, she looks exactly how she looks like in the show but I see that her body is more muscular, with no visible fat anywhere to be seen and of course since she is 3D what kinda makes her look odd but at the same time adorable.. While my mind is coming to terms that I have seen a character from a little girls TV show I miss something she says, after she says whatever it was I simply grin, laugh and finally faint and fall to the ground.