“My ticket into Equestria was paid with blood. This world's beauty was once something that I came to adore, but the circumstances behind my arrival ate away at that appreciation.”

Our heads bobbed, matching the beat of a dubstep remix of Kid Rock’s Cool Daddy Cool There was no way my wife and I would let this chance to sing along with one of our favorite childhood movie-- Osmosis Jones-- songs pass us by.

My favorite part of the song was approaching fast, I couldn’t help but let my voice drip with excitement. “Young ladies, young ladies, I like ‘em under 18. Some say that’s statutory...”

“But I’d say it’s mandatory!” Andrea finished, smiling brightly from hearing the goofy lyrics.

The music and company helped keep my nerves steady. Tennessee’s mountain roads were notorious for rock-slides crushing travelers. My wife’s voice was exactly the thing I need to make sure I didn’t fly off the deep end with worry. She had offered to drive those parts, but as a man, I simply huffed and declined.

I was broken out of my trip down nostalgia lane by some eighteen-wheeler’s annoying honking. The vehicle was coming up behind us much too fast and showed no signs of slowing either. “What the fuck is he doing?!”

“Babe, look.” Andrea pointed at the driver of the big rig. He was shouting and gesturing to their right.

Suddenly, it dawned on us to follow the man’s gestures and look to the cliff-face. “Fuck!” Gerald shouted, putting the pedal to the metal.

Boulders poured down the side of the mountain like beads of sweat rolling down an Olympic sprinter's face. Each bump and bounce of a stone upheaved another, and that upheaval caused another, forcing a chain reaction of falling rocks creating, even more, falling rocks. The noise was unbearable, like a constant barrage of thunder, drowning out even their music.

Andrea gripped her seat and one of the safety handles. Her eyes were locked on the rolling orbs of death coming for us.

An errant stone smashed into the road, missing by mere feet, and eliciting a loud yelp from both Andrea and I. I turned hard to the left, my Corvette's tires skidding along the ground as they struggled to maintain a grip on the icy asphalt. Chancing a look of out the passenger window, I checked where the boulders were. Immediately, I slammed on the brakes, my eyes wide with horror as the closest rock sailed cleanly over the hood of our car. Had we been a few more feet forward... I shuddered at the thought.

“Oh my god, Gera--” Before I could snap my head in Andrea’s direction, I was hit with enough force to slam me into the driver side door. My head smacked against the window hard enough to crack the glass, turning my world into one of hazy lights and muddled sounds of rending metal. A shrill cry was the last thing I heard before being taken by darkness.

Frigid winds whipping across my face roused me into consciousness. My body was racked with pain and I couldn’t seem to fight away a strange weightless feeling. Opening my eyes, I was greeted by the most horrifying sight I’d ever seen. To my left, hundreds of feet below and growing closer with each heartbeat was the ground, and to my right, the unconscious form of my wife, boulders, and the bent safety rail our car had been thrown over. This was it, after being married for five years, we’d perish, together, because of a stupid rock slide. I wanted to rage at God for forsaking me like this, for letting this happen, and for not sparing Andrea, but my voice wouldn’t work.

Shards of glass mingled with globs of blood and tears as the vehicle plummeted. I stared blankly, having given up hope and simply awaited the end. That’s when a strange red light made itself known to me. The odd wisp hovered over Andrea’s chest, silently calling out to her. Was it here to save her? I didn’t know, but it was her only hope and it just felt right that she have it. Pushing through the pain, I reached out towards it, eventually grasping the object. I tried to put it into my wife’s hand, but the moment I touched it, red light washed over me, warming both my body and soul. What happened next was all a blur and a flash of images: me floating out of the doomed vehicle, the explosion when it hit the ground, and finally, the tunnel to someplace else…

Chrysalis led me through the caves, showing off the current state of her hive. Despite the differences between how she and Cicada ran the changelings, one thing remained constant between their styles. Both mares were firm in their words. While the original queen was boisterous and hyper, Chrysalis was reserved and regal. But when their voices rang out, their changelings listened.

“That sounds utterly horrific. I'd not wish that sort of despair on my worst enemies.”

“And yet, you've geased me with the hopes of turning my power against your foes.”

The Queen went silent, likely contemplating my words. “Continue your story.”

“As you wish,” I answered with a smirk. “I awoke in the middle of a battlefield, but dungeons are what I remember the clearest. That was one of the strangest experiences in my life. But far from the last, as I'd soon learn. ”

The first of my senses to return was hearing. Though my head was still throbbing from whatever happened to me, at least I could start examining my surroundings.

“What do we know of it?” A female voice echoed. The clip-clop of hard soles came from roughly the same direction. Was the women riding horseback?

By the sound of the foot-falls, I guessed that there was more definitely than one of them. The room's chilled air crept up on me, causing goosebumps to raise up across my skin. This wasn't a crisp, open-air sort of cool, no. I'd been in the wilderness before and all signs (still air and moist, earthen scent) led me to believe that I was inside of a cave or something.

My eyes cracked open and quickly adjusted to the lack of light. Hazily, I looked over my surroundings. This placed looked like some sort of medieval dungeon. Slick-looking gray stone made up the walls and ceiling, while the floor was made of tightly packed soil. “...the fuck?” I managed to choke out. My voice felt like I'd recently taken first place in a rusty nail eating contest.

The more coherency I gained, the worse my head pounded; half from the situation, half from whatever had brought me here. Whatever brought me here... Andrea! No... Focus. I needed to focus. She wasn't here with me and I couldn't help her from where I was. Reign it in, Gerald.

“Well, it's most certainly, likely, probably, not a changeling,” a young male voice chirped.

Changeling? That threw up some red flags in my mind. This situation could be a lot more complex than I initially imagined. This was a bit overwhelming and I feared that if it continued I'd end up overthinking my actions. Silence stretched for an uncomfortable amount of time. My own breathing and my company's approaching steps were the only sound for a good long while.

“I'm going to speak with it. Perhaps we can glean something useful from its knowledge. At the very least whether or not it deserves to be imprisoned can be determined.”

“... Is that safe, Princess? If it is a changeling, you run the risk of being frenzied!”

“Worry not, Starswirl, my sister and I have the proper mental fortifications in place to defend against such attacks.”

The moment she finished her sentence, the two of them stepped into view. For a moment, I thought what I was seeing to be some sort of trick of the light, a falsehood created by my cell's bars, shadows, and scarce lighting. My eyes saw two people, but they weren't quite human.

Their articulate ears, coated bodies, hooved feet, and finely haired tails screamed horse-people to me, but I kept my mouth shut. Though it was easier said than done with my rising panic. The rational side of my mind screamed that this couldn't be real, that there was no way I'd fallen into some Final Fantasy- Warcraft- furry world. I was obviously dying and my mind was creating shit to ease the stress. But the rational side of my mind was also saying that the sensations I was feeling were too clear, too accurate... too real.

The strangest thing about these weird ponies was that there were dimorphic enough to me to tell which was the stallion and which was the mare without having to look for a coin purse. Then again, I don't know shit about horses.

Staring up at the two forms on the other side of the bars, I noticed the larger, off-white mare shuffled a bit before stepping forward. Her flowing mane and tail didn't even react to the motion and just continued going their own way, each color managing to avoid blending with the others. “Greetings, my name is Princess Celestia, and this--” she said pointing to the stallion next to her. “Is my royal aid, tutor, and friend Starswirl.” It was a pretty bog-standard greeting. No theatrics, no attempts to layer on the weight of her position. Likely attempting to avoid a misunderstanding. “If you can understand us, could you tell me, what you are called.”

At the moment, I didn't see any way out of this dungeon other than placing nice with this 'Princess Celestia'. Honestly, I was still in shock over all of this, numb to the greater implications of what was happening around me. But If these ponies could help somehow, I'd do well to start with royalty.

“What followed that wasn't terribly entertaining, so I'll spare you the intricate details. Cutting to the point, I was presented to the Princesses' parents, King Solstice and Queen Aurora then placed under guard and settled into the castle. Not long afterward was the first time I met Queen Cicada, but that is a story for another time,” I finished.

By now we'd descended nearly a mile beneath the earth, a rough estimate given to me by my detection spells. While the architecture hadn't changed in any noticeable ways, the atmosphere around us did. No longer did I see the common busy drone mulling about in their day to day activities. Instead, stoic defenders lined the halls. Young, excited chittering had, at some point without me noticing, been replaced by utter silence. Sterile is the word that came to mind as I looked around.

We continued down the hall in silence. Perfectly spaced crystals held in ornate candelabras provided us with a nearly constant stream of unnerving green light. Eventually, we reached a large set of onyx double doors engraved with familiar symbols. Old Changeling script, I noted. I still couldn't read it, but this at least let me know how old this room was.

“Welcome to our War Room!” Chrysalis made a grand sweeping gesture with her arms as we entered. The walls were decorated in the usual patriotic, royal fanfare, so there was nothing really to comment on there. Just as the room started to lose my interest, my eyes settled on the massive table situated as the centerpiece.

What I thought at first to be a terribly gaudy piece of changeling furniture turned out to be... “A real-time magical reconstruction of Equestria...” Her praetors were surrounding the table, but parted with haste the moment they saw Chrysalis and I approach. “This is incredible.”

I watched as clouds wafted across the peak of Canterlot mountain and dust storms raged over the sandy dunes of the Badlands. There was even a thunderhead brewing over the Crystal Empire. I stared in awe, not even attempting to hide how impressed I was with the piece. Such a map required extensive enchanting and a constant flow of magic. Whoever built this had to be both a master mage and craftsman.

“Do you like it? I created this construct almost four-hundred years ago,” Chrysalis boasted, running a finger gently along edge of the model. “It is how I knew where to send my agents in preparation for Shining Armor and Cadence's wedding. It is how I tracked down Twilight Sparkle. And it is were we will be convening before we make our moves against Equestria.”

At that, I stood up straight. Crossing my arms, I leveled my weary stare. “I've brushed up on recent history,” I started. “What you've done so far is forgivable. Leave Equestria be and they will continue turning a blind eye to your continued freedom.” The Queen scowled at that; I knew she would. Even her guards gave me this look that shouted 'How dare you?!'.

“You think us cowards for skulking through the shadows and acting through subterfuge!?” Chrysalis argued.

But I wasn't seeking a conflict with on on this so I shut her down quickly. “The opposite, actually. What I was getting at was the fact that everything will change for you once I'm wielded as your blade. You've used my titles; they aren't pretty. I'm efficient, but not very clean or merciful. I tell you this as a warning. Do you still wish to aim me at your enemies?”

“I will not be deterred,” she answered.

“Very well. Point me towards your targets.”

Chrysalis' hand swiped over the simulation Equestria, turning it until the Badlands were opposite of us. She pointed, and, at her mental command, a green beacon appeared over a small, cozy looking town nestled between several forests and a short ways from Canterlot's foothills. “Ponyville. This is were Twilight Sparkle and the other Elements of Harmony reside. Before we can truly start making moves against Equestria, you need to remove them from the equation.”

“Will you provide me with changelings for this?”

“No. Consider this a test to be passed in anyway you see fit.”

I sighed. “Fine. I'll resolve this quickly, then.”

Author's Note

It was never addressed, but the terms of the geas are pretty similar to the Three Laws of Robotics. I'll likely edit chapters and put those rules in. I've also edited the other chapters; any mention of Queen Myrrah is now replaced with Queen Cicada.

1. Gerald is not to harm any of her [Chrysalis'] subjects or Chrysalis.
   
2. Gerald is to follow Chrysalis's orders. This overides rule number 1, unless the individual to be interacted with is Chrysalis.
   
3. Gerald is allowed to defend himself as long as it does not conflict with rules 1 and 2. Chrysalis can modify this rule as she sees fit.
   
4. Gerald is allowed autonomy as long as he is not in violation of rules 1 and 2.