It's Harder than it Looks

by Short Stories

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Adventure
Length: 1974

Soviette, a pony who fully believes in Communism, tries to convert everypony to her belief. This should be fun. Requested by Soviet techpriest eh.

After moving away from her Communist village into Ponyville, Soviette can barely stand living in the monarchy-run town. So, she does what she does best: Tries to convert ponies to her belief.
But the ponies in Ponyville don't like communism and don't trust her.

Requested by Soviet techpriest eh, with some help from my brother. (I don't know much about this type of stuff. :twilightblush:

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-19 00:00:06 UTC

Communism FTW!

Soviette arrived with her bags at Ponyville around 2:00 pm on a Sunday. She looked at it from a distance, set her bag down, and sighed.

"This will be the perfect place to live." She mumbled, barely hearing her beloved Russian accent. "I hope they are communist, or, like communist ponies."

She grabbed her bag, and continued to walk towards her future town. She moved to spread her belief and, so far, she'd had no luck in the other towns she'd come across and with the few passer-byer ponies she had met on the road. "Tank, c'mon, we need to get going if we'll be there by sunset." She called over her shoulder.

A medium-sized T-34 followed closely behind, pointing it's nozzle at grass and flowers, making a suction noise as if sniffing them. Seeing that his master didn't stop for him, Tank zoomed forward and bopped it's master in the leg.

"You want me to ride you?" Soviette asked, turning around and walking backwards. Tank nodded his nozzle. Soviette shrugged and climbed on top of the tank. "Ok, Tank. I'm all ready." As soon as he got the OK, he took off speeding down the hill, not seeming to put it's brakes on. Poor Soviette was hanging on for dear life, her bag threatening to smack her in the face as soon as she let go of it.

"TANK! PUT ON YOUR BREEAAAKS!" They were five feet away from Ponyville, and Soviette was fearing they wouldn't stop in time. Four feet. "Tank!" Soviette tried crawling forward, but the wind her tank was creating wouldn't let her. Three feet. "Tank!! STOP! NOW! But Tank was having too much fun, not seeing the peril they were in. Two feet. They were nearing a house.

Soviette decided that Tank was strong enough to go through a house, if he wished, but she would break a few bones, or worse. Screaming and losing her bag, she jumped off the speeding war machine, tumbling almost half way up the hill, then back down. While she was rolling like a wayward wheel, she didn't hear and crash.

At least that's a good thing that came out of all this. She thought. Going back down the hill, she hit a slanted rock and skyrocketed for a good two seconds before plummeting into the town fountain, her bag right along with her.

"Oowww..." She groaned, pulling herself up. She noticed that she was seeing double, was swaying slightly, and had a huge headache. She must have hit the bottom of the fountain.

"Ooo, that looked like it hurt..." A purple and green baby dragon said, coming into her view. A white unicorn followed.

"Oh, my, are you alright darling?" The white unicorn asked. "Spike, what should we do?"

Soviette was attempting to climb out of the fountain, but kept slipping and falling back in. Spike pointed towards her. "Rarity, could you levitate her out?"

"Oh! Of course!" Rarity said, levitating the slightly injured and slightly confused Soviette out of the fountain.

It feels like I'm flying when I'm levitated...is this what pegasus feel like...? Sovi thought as Rarity set her on the ground. Oh! wait! She remembered her bag flew in with her. She turned around and jumped back in.

Looking around in the crystal blue water, she found her soggy, brown suitcase laying a foot below her. There it is! She thought excitedly. But as she tried to grab it, some invisible force stopped her. The same invisible force lifted her out of the fountain, hovering her in mid-air above the ground. Rarity's horn was light, and both she and Spike held confused and upset expressions.

"What are you, insane?!" Spike asked. "We just got you out of there! Why in Equestria would you go back in?!"

"Let me go! Let me GO!!" Sovi yelled. In surprise, Rarity immediately faltered her horn, making poor Soviette fall a foot onto the hard ground. Spike shot Rarity a look, in which she responded with an apologetic smile. Spike shook his head, still a bit mad, and went to help the red earth pony off of the ground.

Soviette grunted and tried to get away as Spike tried to help her up.

"I don't need...I don't...I don't need any help!" She called, extremely frustrated with these two. "I am not a senior! I don't need any help!!"

Spike backed away, both claws in the air, as if saying I surrender! "Ok!" Spike said. "Sorry. Why are you so upset?"

"I was trying to get my bag that fell in the fountain." Sovi explained, looking at Rarity the whole time. Rarity took a step back.

"I'm sorry, darling, I'm sure I could make you a new one..." Rarity started.

"No, no, everything I had in there is already ruined." Sovi explained calmly. Rarity took another step back, a tear rolling down her face. Spike, noticing this, pointed at Soviette.

"Hey! It's not our fault that you decided to dive-bomb into the fountain!" As if realizing what he just said, he asked "How'd you do that, anyways?"

"I didn't. Soviette said. But Tank did.

"How can a turtle throw you into a fountain?" Rarity asked.

"What?" Soviette replied, confused. "Tank isn't a turtle. He's a...a tank. A T-34, to be exact. I had him enchanted, so he has the mind of a dog."

As if hearing his name, Tank came up behind Soviette and bopped her in the back leg. Soviette turned her head around, then looked back towards the unicorn and dragon. She held out a hoof towards Tank. "See?" She asked, smiling. Tank's size cast a shadow over them. The unicorn and dragon, bewildered by what had happened within the last five minutes, just shrank back and nodded.

"So, let me get right down to business and say that your monarchy, as nice as you may think it is, stinks."

Rarity gasped. "I'll have you know--"

"Ah, ah, ah, I'm not finished." Soviette interrupted. Rarity sat back with a scornful look. "Why have a monarchy, when you can resort to communism? There is a good amount of creatures, from my communist village. They include unicorns, earth ponies, pegasi, and..." She paused, looking right at Spike. "...Dragons." She whispered.

Spike's eyes immediately widened, but Rarity's eyes narrowed a bit more.

Sovi began pacing. "In this fascinating little village of ours, we get to vote on a law. We get to have a voice! Want clogs to be against the law? submit your opinion, and they may just say yes!" Rarity hmphed and looked away, but nothing else.

"You also get to wear this amazing hat!" Soviette finished. Then, she walked over to Tank.

"Okay, buddy, like we practiced." She whispered to him, then climbed inside, getting her hat. She knocked on the metal inside. That was Tank's sign, and she had three seconds before he did the finale without her. She ran over and stood on the podium. Suddenly, it whooshed up, making Soviette hang on for a second. But she swallowed her fears and stood on her hind legs, already seeing daylight.

"Ta-DA!" She concluded. Spike clapped, Rarity didn't.

"Well, if your done wasting our time, we really must be off." Rarity informed her, turning around. "Spike-Wikey and I are going gem hunting."

"Uh huh, just a minute, Rarity." He mumbled. Then ran up to Tank.

"I'll join!" He called to Soviette, who was about four feet above him. His shout caused Rarity to turn around in shock.

"Great!" Soviette called back. She threw her hat down towards him. "Keep it! The first meeting is next week!" She added. Spike gave her a small salute before catching up with Rarity.

"Rarity! Look what I got!" Soviette heard him say before she turned around on the pedestal she was on. "Okay, Ponyville." She mumbled. "Prepare to turn into a Communist village! Rid the Princesses! Communist for the win!"

She said the last part in a shout. Other ponies turned to look at her. She gave a nervous giggle, skillfully leaped down Tank, and wasted no time telling them about Communism.

A week later, Spike was the only one at the meeting. He looked around, confused.

"Uh...is everypony else fashionably late?" He asked.

Soviette shook her head sadly. "No."

"Oh! They'll come in five minutes?"

"No."

"When will they be here?"

"I only have a member recruited so far." Sovi said sadly. "And that's you."

"Oh." Spike said, not sure how to respond. "Well, did you try to recruit anypony else?"

"Yeah." She rested her head on the podium.

"What did you do?" He asked, going over to comfort her

Sovi sighed. She could see Tank from outside. She rented the town hall for two hours, expecting a big party. 'Well..."

"Ta-DA!" She finished her skit on the flower ponies. They all stared at her as if she had three heads.

"The horror! The horror!" One of the ponies suddenly called, fainting on the spot. On cue, the other two did as well. Sovi scrunched up her nose. "That's not very nice." She commented from atop her pet.

One of the ponies, a cream-colored one with a red and pink mane, raised her head. "Yeah? Well, trying to get us to switch our believes isn't very polite either."

Sovi rolled her eyes. Although that pony had a point, Sovi wasn't willing to admit it. "Thanks for your time." She said, less enthusiastic about it.

Tank strolled over to an open green plot, where Sovi hopped down an lay on a bench.

"I just don't get it, Tank." She said. "I tried the same new tactic I used to win over 'Spike', but, it didn't work on the other ponies."

Tank was sniffing around in the plot, when he noticed a piece of paper. He rolled it over to Sovi, who gasped. "A flyer! That's it!"

"...So I tried a flyer, a dance, even public humiliation! Nothing worked!" She put her head back down on the podium. "Maybe it was just never meant to be..."

"Nonsense!" Spike called. "Uh...can we cut our meeting short?"

"Sure." She said flatly. "Why not? It's not like anypony else will come."

"Thanks! Bye!" Spike said, running outside.

Sadly, Soviette sighed, walked outside, and she and Tank went back home.

KNOCKNOCKKNOCKNOCKNOCK!

Sovi screamed and fell off the...table? Why was she sleeping on the table...? She was still pondering that when she went to open the door. Spike stood there, unusually happy for 7:15 am.

"Hi, Soviette." He said. "Guess what? I felt bad that nopony else was joining, so I went to Rarity's, and, well, she made hats for everypony! They won't join, of course, but Rarity declared it was the next big thing in fashion, so now there all wearing a hat! It'll boost your advantages of getting more ponies on your side, plus it boosts Rarity's. It's a win-win!" He was panting by the time he was done talking, for he was talking awfully fast.

Sovi blinked. "What?" She asked groggily, her brain still half asleep.

Spike sighed. "I asked Rarity to make hats for you to boost your chances of getting more ponies on your side."

Sovi tilted her head.

"Hats equal more ponies." Spike said slowly.

Sovi gasped and pulled him in for a hug.  "Thank you, Spike! This is the best thing that's ever happened to me! Well, besides getting Tank, of course."

Spike squirmed a bit under her brutal death hug. "Cant...breath..." he choked, going a deeper shade of purple.

"Oh, sorry." She said, letting go. "With these hats, my belief will spread far and wide! I can't thank you, enough, Spike, is there anything I can do to repay you?"

"Well..."

Spike left her house with two ushanka's on his head, one on top of the other one.