My Little Derpy

by Forest Shade

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Adventure, Human
Length: 3210

A portal opens, garbage flies, a filly lands in my room. What?!

A portal opens, debris is flying everywhere, and a filly of grey lands in my bedroom. Wait what?! Derpy? Yes, Derpy. We battle off a princess, find a house,and get separated. Bring it on.

(credits to the original artist. I found it on Google Images and it didn't really say who it was)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-15 17:14:48 UTC

The Beginning 1

When I was 18, I was still watching My Little Pony :Friendship is Magic. In the comfort of my house, I would spend hours upon hours watching it. I had never missed a single episode. Tonight, I figured would be like any other night, but I was proven wrong. I'm watching a short YouTube video on my laptop when I hear this really high pitch. Gosh dang it hurt. I tried to scream when I saw the air being torn apart. Debris flew everywhere, and I shielded myself. The room was filled with debris and fast winds. When it was over, I looked down to see a small furry grey pony. I didn't know what to do with it, so I began cleaning my room. When I finished, I heard this small whimper. I touched the pony and it whimpered again. I picked it up and place it on my bed. It looked up at me with tiny yellow crossed eyes. It was... Derpy! I didn't really know what to do, but I picked her up and cuddled her. Something I had always dreamed of doing. She giggled.

Derpy was always hungry, and by watching the show, I figured she would like foods like oats and carrots. I cooked the carrots and she ate them fast. She was helpful when I didn't want my raw broccoli, and cherry tomatoes.  I lived near a big field, so I tried teaching her how to fly. It took many weeks, and a lot of patience, and one day she walked up to me and said, "I can't fly, Mommy! I just can't all because of my stupid eyes!"  I knelt down, and put an arm around her neck.

"Ditzy, you have to try again."

"Why? I'm jut going to fail you!" she choked through sobs.

"No, you're not. You would fail me if you quit."

"Promise you won't get mad?"

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." I swore.

I used a chainsaw to chop own some trees. "Now!" I yelled. She maneuvered pretty well considering she had perception problems. I cheered as loud as I could! She was flying! She was flying fast, but fell down. She had gone about five feet.

"I did it!" she cheered through pants. I hugged her and rustled her mane. I had been prod before, but nothing compared to this.

I had to rearrange the furniture a bit so she could walk around easier. It had been one month after I found her. Derpy hated being called that, so I called her "Ditzy". Finally, she loosened up and I called her Derpy. She was amused by bubbles, and I was wondering if she got her cutie mark that way. No. She got it one day, but we still scratch our heads at what it means.

"Mommy, why am I on the computer?"

"What do you mean?" I was beginning to fear she would know the ugly part of the truth.

"Look! People tried drawing me! Mommy! Did you do that?"

"Um, yes!" I lied. I knew what was coming next, and I dreaded it.

"Then show me how you do it." she demanded in her squeaky little voice.

For about a half an hour, I tried drawing her, and succeeded in copying a base from a coloring book (which she did not notice) and the rest is pretty self-explanatory. She giggled and clapped her hooves together. I decided it was time for Derpy to go to the park. Nobody is at the park at 6 am, so I figured that would be a good time. I carried her in my arms and she snuggled up to me. It was one of those d'aww moments for me. Some joggers waved to me, and I waved back, now hiding her under my hoodie. When we arrived, it was 6:15. She was fully awake in a matter of seconds. "Wow! I want to go on that!" she said, pointing her tiny hoof towards the swing. "And that, and that, and that, and-"

"Okay, kiddo. Let's go on everything!"

"Yay!"

We spent about a half an hour there before she fell asleep, so I carried her home again. I gently placed her under her bubbly blanket. Her bright yellow mane was all over the white pillow, making it look like a child's drawing of a sun. I smiled, and gently kissed her goodnight. I had lunch ready by the time she awoke. "Morning, Mommy. Hayburgers? Finally!" I gave a quiet grunt at the finally. I had to watch "Twilight Time" just to see how it was made. I didn't blame her though. It had been forever since I had promised to show her this. I told her it was what Superman would eat. She loved Superman, and she's seen all four movies. I personally didn't really care for the fourth one, but she loved it all. I loved seeing her eyes light up as he saved Lois, and everybody else. It made her feel confident afterwards. Movies tend to do that for some unknown reason, but it's a good thing. She would sometimes come to dinner in a Superman costume I had made for her. Anyway, she ate it up. I tried to eat it, but I had a sore mouth for a bit. I had a hamburger instead. "How do you like pickles? They're so sour!" she would exclaim.

"I don't know. I just do!"

"Humph. Whatever." she kept on eating. It was times like this that make life...I don't know if sweet is quite the word. Maybe happy in a strange sense. Yeah, that was it. Night came again, and at two in the morning, I feel something crawl into my bed. "Sorry, Mommy. I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you?"

"Yes." She snuggled up to me, and the rest of the night was peaceful. Well, sort of. I was restless, and very carefully leaving the bed, left the room to my computer. I was so tired though, that on the way there, I was falling over. I decided to watch the episode that got the whole "Derpy incident" started. I couldn't help but laugh a bit. She's so clumsy, but that's okay. Then, looking in the comments, I discovered why Derpy was embarrassed with that nickname. It meant, "stupid or foolish" but I knew the other bronies and pegasisters out there meant it affectionately. I was called "chicken" because of how I scampered away from the ball instead of kicking it. I still have that nickname to this day. My inbox is full of emails addressed to "chicken". Anyway, I thought Derpy's strabismus was just in the way, and that it was an honest mistake.

Derpy was now almost a teenager, and now I was in my twenties. I wasn't super afraid Derpy would be one of those rude, snobby teenagers who cause trouble because she is Derpy. She's a sweet pony who loves all her friends. I always wanted to be with Derpy, but deep down in my heart, I knew she needed to go back. She would often bake me gluten-free muffins, and they were good! Like, really good! I was amazed at how I had taught her so little, and she just learned how to do it better than me! I thought about how much joy they brought me, and then it hit me. Well, two things. Derpy always brought joy wherever she went, and she often would sacrifice things just to make my day. She was a joy-bringer. Bubbles are beautiful, and they bring lots of joy to all ages. Her destiny was to be a joy giver. She was also a mailmare, and sometimes letters bring joy, an also great sorrow. That job described her fairly well.  We both lounged on the couch and watched

Awakenings At the end we were crying really hard and were holding each other. She's good like that.

New Life 2

I woke up the next day...on cement. I groaned a bit, then immediately checked to find Derpy. Where was she? And where was I? Looking up, I realized it was Ponyville. To be honest, I had no idea how beautiful it really was. A small moan broke my reverie. "Derpy! Are you okay?" I reached out to rub her back, but I didn't see a hand, but a hoof. "Oh, lovely Luna, what is going on?!" It didn't take me long to realize I was a pegasus. A pegasus with a forest green coat and a deep blue and black mane. I guess my cutie mark was a paw print with a four point star in the middle. Anyway, Derpy was really afraid of me, even when I explained to her I was her mommy, but the passing through time and dimension somehow rearranged my cellular and molecular structure. She informed me that Mommy was not that smart. Well, thanks, kid.

After about 15 minutes, I managed to convince her I was me. Now it was her turn for her to teach me how to fly. It was incredibly hard, but soon I was gliding with ease. It's mostly a matter of flapping your wings at the same time.  Suddenly, a small grey feather landed perfectly on my muzzle. "Aaa-choo!" I flew straight backwards and bumped into Rainbow Dash!

"Sorry! I didn't see you there!"

"Are you Rainbow Dash?"

"Yeah. And who are you?"

"Umm...Forest Shade."

"Oh. Nice to meet you! I see you've befriended Derpy!"

"Actually, she's my mommy!" Derpy intervened. I had to do a face hoof.

"Cloudkicker will be happy to hear that!" Rainbow scoffed.

"I, uh, she means....we're playing a game!" Improvising was not my forte.

Rainbow shrugged. She flew off, leaving a bright rainbow trail behind.

"Derpy, you can't tell everypony I'm your mom, okay?" I stared into her unfocused eyes.

"But you are my mommy. Isn't that the truth?" I knew this day would come. This was going to be a big pain in the neck.

"Um, it's complicated. I'll tell you when you're a little older." I could tell she was still unsatisfied. She focused her eyes for a bit and stared right back into mine. It wasn't an angry stare or a sad one, just confused and slightly upset. "Maybe we should get a house for the time being."

So many beautiful houses. Homes with a straw roof were nice, but not my type, especially since Equestria has really severe storms. Then, there was a small cottage made of wood. Nah, I'll need something bigger. We walk around for about an hour until we find a house that didn't have a straw roof. It was grey, with a white roof. "We'll take it!" The exhausted stallion accepted the money and ran off.

The key got stuck, but we managed to get it. When we looked in, it had all grey and bubbly furniture. I glanced at Ditzy's cutie mark and my heart sank  into a really deep abyss. This was Derpy's home, from when she was in high school, almost college. "Something wrong, Mom?" Derpy had outgrown "Mommy" at this point. She was a 14 year old at this point.

"Nothing, muffin. It's fine."

Derpy went out to town the next day and applied for a job as a mailmare, and she got it! She started the day after. I decided to wait until I got the hang of hooves instead of hands. Same day Ditzy started work, I went around town to go find a job. The only available job was helping Twilight. I knew how crazy she could get, but it's better than no job at all. "Twi, where do you want this?" I pointed to Spike, who was snoring.

"I'll take him." She levitated him with her magic, then laid him down in his bed.

"I think that's it. Anything else?"

"Nope! It's Twilight Time now, anyway. I'll see you later, Forest Shade!"

I was thrilled. I had just met Twilight Sparkle. I was in shock. Who would have thought I'd met a princess, and work for her? She paid pretty well, too. Knowing Ditzy Doo would be tired afterwards, I trotted into town, but then I was stopped a a pink party pony. Pinkie Pie! She was my second favorite! "Hi! I'm Pinkie! You're new here, and I will throw you a party!" She dragged me inside,which hurt a bit, but I was with Pinkie. I had to keep a hoof to my mouth to keep it from falling on the floor. She was a miracle worker. All of Ponyville was here....except Derpy, but she was busy.

"Welcome to Ponyville!" they said in unison. That...was a huge cake. Somehow, she knew I was GF, but I wasn't surprised. She knew why Twilight had a crush on Flash, so why shouldn't she know this? The party was over, and I wanted to flop down on my bed, but I had to go buy muffins for Derpy. Once that was done, I did exactly that.

I heard Muffin calling for me, so, reluctantly, I got up and went downstairs. She had a letter in her mouth. It was addressed to me, so I opened it, and I just about had a heart attack. It read:

"Dear Forest Shade,

You must go to Canterlot and meet up with Princess Celestia. Your bond with Ditzy Doo is at stake.

Sincerely,

Shining Armor, Captain of the Royal Guards."

"What is it? Anything I can do to help?" Derpy asked. I loved how she was always trying to help.

"No, Ditzy, I have to go. Come with me, though. I'll need the company."

Before going to the castle, I stopped by Carousel Boutique, and asked Rarity for a favor. She did so..for free! I thanked Rarity, then secretly put a few bits in her tip jar. I think she noticed, because she smiled at me before I left. A grey coat and a black and blue coat were the favors. Derpy and I slipped them on. They felt really soft, and warm. We started to Canterlot. We had to go over a mountain, but we made it. Wet, cold, and covered in snow, we made it nonetheless. "Hello! I'm Shining Armor! I assume you're Ditzy Doo and Forest Shade?"

We nodded, too cold to speak. "Let me take those for you." He whisked them onto a coat rack.

"Thanks."

"Okay, Celestia should be in there, but first, how's Twiley?"

"She's doing great, but she really misses you."

"Really? I'll send her a letter. Now, come on!"

He was quite a gentlecolt. For some reason I had always imagined that guards would be rough, but he was a big brother, after all. I walked slowly in, my ears back a bit. Ditzy walked stiffly alongside me. When I looked up, I felt scared.

Go Home! 3

What I saw was an angry Celestia. It's darn creepy. "I've been hearing reports of you claiming to be Derpy's mother. Is this true?"

Rainbow Dash! You will pay for this. Deeply. "No."

"But she is my mom!" Ditzy said.

"Oh, really. What about Cloudkicker?"

"No. Who is she?"

"She is your mother." I was afraid they'd take her to Cloudkicker.

"No, Forest Shade is, right Mom?" This was going to be the hardest thing in the world to do.

"I've raised you since you were a foal, yes, but I'm not your biological mother."

"How did you find Ditzy?" Celestia kept interrogating.

"You won't believe this, but one night I was asleep, when some sort of portal opened up and she flew out."

"I see. Luna! Luna!"

A tall, dark figure appeared from upstairs. "Yes, Tia?"

"Go into her thoughts. Is she telling the truth?"

"Tia, you know very well I can only do it in their sleep."

I felt a sudden knock on my head, and the last thing I heard was a shriek from Derpy.

"Forest, look me in the face." Luna's voice rang through my ears. I could tell I was KO. "Think of the time when you found Derpy. What happened?" Oh, that night was crystal clear. The whole scene replayed in my mind. "I believe you, but Tia might be a stubborn fool again."

I jolted up, instantly regretting it. I put a hoof to my head, and felt a trickle of blood running down. I wanted to cry. Not the pain, but the pure frustration. Stupid!

"Okay. I believe you, but you can't stay with Derpy."

My heart skipped a beat. "What?"

"She already has a mom, and she needs to adjust to that. She'll need to forget you."

"What?!"

"I'm sorry, but you must go."

She dragged me away. Derpy was reaching out for my hoof, but too late. I could hear her crying, and I called out, "Be good for your mom!"

She opened up the same portal that had got us here into this mess, and threw me in. The last thing I would ever see of Equestria, was the crying, reddened face of my daughter.

Home again 4

I never thought this day would come. I thought we'd always be together. However, I noticed that Celestia opened the same portal. Could it be that she had thrown Derpy away into another universe to fend for herself? And, I had checked the records to see if Derpy was registered, I had never seen the name Cloudkicker. "Lovely Luna, what's going on here?!" I yelled. I wished I could use magic on Earth. If the Magic of Friendship worked here like it did there, my problems would be solved. I went upstairs and pulled out a small box Ditzy had kept with her memories here. As I peered through them, laughing and crying, the portal opened again. It made me wonder if love is magic here, and friendship is more magical there. I broke out of my thoughts. I jumped in, and brought the records with me. When I came back in, Derpy and Cloudkicker were talking. I put my ear to the door.

"So, you're my cousin, but not my mom."

"Yeah. Who put that idea into your head, silly filly?"

I trotted upstairs to Celestia's cambers. She looked annoyed. Like a plan had failed annoyed. However, I knew something it didn't. Celestia would never make such a huge mistake. She valued all her subjects, and let them live their lives.

"Hello, W-2003."

It spat out some nasty words, then straightened up and said, "How'd you know?"

"Lucky guess."

" Can't believe you remember me."

"Well, why not? You were the one who managed to cast a portal spell to reunite me with my daughter. I saw your name/ number*

before you left."

"Sweet."

"Yeah, now where is Celestia?"

"I was hungry, so I took a little love from her."

"W-2003, get her out of that cocoon now!" I demanded.

"Fine."

"Ruffian!" R-2001 sputtered.

"Nice try, R-2001." I laughed.

"She's sleeping." W-2003 said.

"Okay."

"Mom!" Derpy flew to me. She explained who Cloudkicker was, and in return, I explained the changeling situation, and how she had wanted to eat a bit of love, so she chose Celestia. "Come on, Derpy. Let's go home."

The end.