By the Moonlight

by CandleEyes

Rating: teen
Tags: Tragedy, Slice of Life
Length: 3464

A few sleepless ponies give us a look inside their minds.

Six tortured fillies expose themselves by the moon's soft light.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2011-07-28 23:44:39 UTC

Pinkie Pie - Sugar

By the Moonlight

The Second - Sugar

Far, far away in Ponyville's Sugarcube Corner, a magenta earth pony lay wide awake. In what would have surely shocked her friends, her face was twisted in worry. Not quite sadness- she knew she'd never be able to truly feel that- but Pinkie Pie was quite displeased. She supposed she really oughtn't be upset about her condition- after all, she hadn't exactly chosen to be schizoid- but here she was, awake again and unable to stop hitting herself over what she had done.

Her friends seemed to be completely unaware of what she was hiding, but how could they, the way she had led them on- led the whole town on- presenting herself as the most outgoing, engaging pony the world had ever seen? Balloons, confetti, the sweetest cupcakes and wild parties. Those truly were the very essence of unfeeling. Pinkie reached over, grabbed a lollipop and brought it her mouth. The sweetness rushed over her and she gorged herself on it.

...and her cutie mark- yet another ruse. Even in her youth she'd been eager to show everypony that she was, in fact, just like any other filly you'd meet. Perhaps she had gone too far once, but they had loved it and so her newfound guise stuck.

But every now and then guilt creeped into her heart- the little spirit she had- and Pinkie Pie felt so fake and empty. She wondered if her friends would understand. Somehow she knew they would but instinct told her she would be making a big mistake if she revealed herself. After all, one doesn't just destroy a facade that's been worked on for years and years like that. And once you become something long enough, it shapes you, even if you don't agree with it. So it was that she was now Pinkie Pie, the brightly-colored pony who loved to bounce, pull pranks, party, sing, dance and have a good time with her friends, no matter what life threw at her.

She sighed, exasperated. The grace of sleep was coming over her slowly, and the faint moonlight that was streaming into her room seemed to be getting softer and softer. It wasn't long before she dozed off, any thoughts of reproach mercifully retreating into her subconscious... At least for now.

Rainbow Dash - Vertigo

By the Moonlight

The Third - Vertigo

The blue pegasus angrily gave her pillow another smack. Damn all this confusion! Now even she didn't understand what exactly it was she felt or wanted.

Flight camp held many a fond memory for Rainbow Dash. It was when she had discovered just how talented she was, after all. Oh, and how brash she had been. The spunkiest little filly in all of Equestria!

She had grown, however- matured and changed. Now whenever she looked back, she did so not with pride or a sense of accomplishment, but shame and regret. She just didn't seem to be as rough as she had been. A loss and a gain at the same time.

Of course, that wasn't what kept her up now, was it? No, it was that she simply couldn't bring herself to break this to all those who had grown so used to her as who she had been. If somepony needed a quick flier with a sharp tongue and flashy tricks, Dash was your mare. Reputations grow on you.

And Gilda, her old friend. They had been true friends back in those days, the griffon's bold edge something to be enjoyed and shared. When they had met again... Rainbow sighed. Did she really have to remember? Of course she did. You can't help yourself if you just forget.

When they had met again, she still had been her old self. The two had enjoyed each others' company, perhaps at the expense of a certain hot pink earth pony. But then her feathered friend had burst out like that and the pegasus had been overcome by fear. What if she would become like that? What if being "cool" would end up taking priority over her true friends? Ever since, Dash had that awful feeling deep inside that something was wrong with you, and you didn't know how to fix it or whether it was really wrong. Whatever it was, it had made her lose her edge- that can-do attitude shared by her beloved Applejack.

She glanced outside. The moon was shining rather brightly. A little spin would clear her thoughts... She pushed the window open gingerly and spread her wings, then took off leaving a rainbow-hued trail behind her.

Scootaloo - Flop

By the Moonlight

The Fourth - Flop

Scootaloo watched the skies grimly through her wide open window. How she'd wish she could be up there in the clouds, speeding wildly through the air with the wind against her, just like her idol. Hay, like any other pegasus. Why was she always so alone? The only friends she had made were Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, and that because they had something to be miserable about together. And the one pony that had inspired her in crafting her personality seemed to think of her as nothing more than a nuisance.

The orange pegasus leaned over the frame and surveyed the distance to the ground. A fall wouldn't hurt too much, and there was a nearby tree where she could stop and descend from. Determination in her eyes, Scootaloo spread her wings. She flapped them a little, testing them out. And then the filly took a leap.

The next thing she knew she was in the air, tiny wings beating wildly in instinct. She let it guide her as she attempted to calm herself. Okay. She was flying- so far, so good. Now she just had to glide over to that tree and she'd be alright. Scootaloo gave a flap and was delighted to see it had propelled her forward. It wasn't long before she was perched on a solid branch. Her heart skipped as the realization that she had just flown hit her.

The pony pondered her next move, looking up at the moon that was bearing down on her with its ethereal glow- it seemed to beckon. She had come this far. How could she pass up a chance to explore the sky proper?

And so she lifted off, slowly gaining altitude, the heavens becoming her territory. The pegasus finally felt alive. She laughed merrily, realizing with pride just how high she had gotten- and the physical rise had lifted her spirits up as well. Until her wings, unused to this kind of strain, gave out.

She yelped as she suddenly became aware she had stopped flapping, and nothing she did would get her wings to work. She was losing altitude fast- Scootaloo screamed as the world around her turned into a kaleidoscopic blur. She braced herself for the impact she knew was coming- until a pony just as multicolored as the world around her caught her.

Two Pegasi - Entwined

By the Moonlight

The Fifth - Entwined

Rainbow Dash skidded to a halt, holding the orange pegasus tight. Her heart was beating almost as fast as Scootaloo's. When asked about it later, the mare would always claim she had seen the little filly's ascent, but the truth of the matter was she was quite lucky to be unhurt.

Scootaloo eased herself out of Dash's grasp, who still had not fully realized what had just happened. "Thanks for saving me!" Her voice trembled, not just because she had narrowly missed breaking several bones, but because it was Rainbow Dash who had rushed to help her. "I'm Scootaloo! I'm a huge of fan of your-"

"Moves. Yeah, I know."

The smaller pony looked down in disappointment. Still just an unwelcome intrusion.

"What were you doing up there?"

"I was flying."

"But I thought-"

"I did too. But apparently my wings are strong enough now."

"If you're crashing down in mid-air, they aren't."

"I guess you're right..."

"Hey, kid," Rainbow turned to face her. "Don't be so hard on yourself. First time's always hard."

Scootaloo's eyes twinkled ever so slightly in the night.

"Listen... I know I've been a little rough on you. And I want to say that, well, I'm sorry."

The filly looked up, mouth agape.

"I just haven't been feeling good at all lately."

"What do you mean, Rainbow Dash?" She tried sounding as elegant as possible, but her eagerness to help showed through in her voice.

"Have you ever felt like you just have no idea where your life is going, like you've lost sense of it?"

"I- that's just how I feel. Hopeless."

"Hopeless. Exactly. But why are you feeling down all of a sudden?"

"Because... because I'll never belong!" She broke out into a whimpering sob.

Rainbow Dash's heart churned at the sight of her little fan crying. She nuzzled her with concern. "There, there. Don't be gloomy, Scootaloo," She paused. How could she bring light to this poor pony? "What if I let you fly with me?"

The filly glanced up, eyes still moist. "But... but I'm no good at flying."

"Oh, don't be silly. You can do it. Are your wings working?"

Scootaloo flapped them slowly, the sudden stiffness she had experienced earlier gone. "Yep."

"Alright! I'll lead the way and you can follow- and don't worry, I'll slow down for you." With that the two pegasi lifted off. "Ready?"

"Yeah!"

The pair surged on as one.

The exhilarating speed made the fliers feel so alive, their daredevil attitudes coming forth. Scootaloo pushed ahead of her partner, eyes narrowing. Dash had been hoping for a relaxing little run, but if that was what the filly wanted... she followed suit, easily catching up to her companion, a smile of pure joy on her face. She turned her head to see Scootaloo's eyes widen in surprise. Probably just admiring her grace and might- that sounded about right. Then Rainbow crashed headfirst into a large oak.

"Rainbow Dash! Are you okay?" The orange pegasus rushed over to her mentor's side.

She groaned. "Yeah... could you try warning me the next time I'm about to fly into someting?"

"Well- I tried! You were going too fast!"

"I wonder why. It definitely wasn't because of a certain filly who decided to speed ahead of me."

Their gazes met, and they realized they were both smiling. And then they both exploded in hearty laughter, celestial light shining down on them all the while.

Celestia - Flicker

By the Moonlight

The Seventh - Flicker

Celestia tossed and turned once more. Maybe she'd adjust and be able to ease herself into slumber. Then again, the chances of that happening seemed rather slim, what with the thoughts plaguing her at this hour. Oh, little sister, why did it ever have to come to that?

She kept telling herself that there was no one to blame- that she had tried diplomacy before anything else and that even then, Luna hadn't quite been herself when she was banished. But even so, the fact that the potential for such a scenario even existed and that Luna, however uncharacteristically bitter, had to endure a millennium of exile brought pain to her heart. Even more pitifully, the unquenchable loneliness she had felt during that time made her feel so selfish.

It was only natural she missed her sister, but she was a ruler above all else, and if things got in the way of her nation's security, she was the first one who was expected to do something about it. And yet she had cried every night for all those years- for herself and for the sister she loved and lost- until she hardly even remembered why she was weeping in the first place.

When she had returned, Luna- no, Nightmare Moon. It wasn't Luna and it would never be Luna. Luna was the one you sobbed for, the one you loved with all your heart and missed so much, the one you wished you could have saved.

The Elements had come together then, for the first time in her lifetime, and Luna's shell had been shattered by the might of friendship. But true friendship seemed to have forsaken the two sisters. Luna was still her confidante and co-ruler, and she hers, but there seemed to be a stifling air of withdrawal  between them. And the worst part was that one of the mightiest and most-revered ponies in all of Equestria had no idea how to begin removing the barrier. There were so many wounds... Perhaps a little walk would help her think- and so the princess rose from her bed and stepped out of her quarters.

As the white alicorn passed one of the castle's many balconies, however, a sound caught her attention. It was a pitiful wail- and the voice behind it was hauntingly familiar. Celestia froze. "Luna? Is that you?"

Two Alicorns - Harmony

By the Moonlight

The Last - Harmony

Luna gasped and cursed herself for not hearing the hoofsteps. She turned to face her sister, eyes still moist. "Oh. Hello, Celly. What's keeping you up?"

"I've got... things. On my mind. Why the tears, dear sister?"

"There's a few thoughts troubling me as well, it would seem," She sniffled. "I've been, ah, observing the night, you see."

Just as Celestia had thought. No point in being vague about it. "Still disappointed almost everypony sleeps through it?"

The dark one sighed and looked down. How could she expect to hide her secrets from her closest friend, neigh, her only friend? "Yes."

The other joined her on the balcony. "Well, anypony who does happen to be awake is delighted by it, I'm sure."

Luna sighed. "It is rather beautiful, isn't it? The way the stars all seem to gather around the moon..."

"And just the stars themselves! Identical at first glance, but they're all so wonderfully diverse," Celestia was genuinely delighted. "Some have just been born, a faint glow in the sky. Others have already collapsed unto themselves but their last glimmers have yet to reach us. Meanwhile, I've only got one star to worry about." She chuckled.

"Oh, sister. I've just felt so lonely lately. Unwanted."

"I'm sure spending your days in the library catching up on the last thousand years and never going out to actually meet your subjects has helped your reputation." As soon as she had spoken, the white alicorn wished she hadn't. Where had that come from?

Luna, unsurprisingly, didn't take it very well. "And I'm sure spending your days with the six holders of the Elements and touring the nation in that damned chariot of yours has helped your relationship with your sister," She looked down in shame, her seething rage fading into melancholy. "I'm sorry. I suppose we've both been neglecting our duties- as rulers and as siblings." And now it was out. Relief flooded her, followed by a rush of worry.

Her companion seemed to recognize this. "Feeling better, sis?"

She nuzzled her compassionately, crying again- but her tears were of exalted joy. "Yes. Yes." The words flowed out of her as they embraced each other- and for the first time that day, the pair smiled, as one.

Celestia closed her eyes and let the simple pleasure of happiness hit her. Somehow they were together again- and the moment seemed to last forever. Until she herself broke it, the tenseness gone from her voice. "Ah, Luna, I was just wondering if you- if you could give me some room to breathe!" She chuckled.

The azure one retreated. "Oh, sorry!"

"As I was saying... I was wondering if you'd like to switch places for a day. You raise the sun and I'll take care of the moon."

"Seems to me you've taken an interest in my stars." She trotted over to the edge of the overlook.

The other skipped after her like a little schoolfilly. "Well, aren't they simply amazing? Great glowing masses of plasma, suspended in the sky, as unique as the populace of our nation. And the constellations-"

"Alright, alright. I'm sold!" She gave a hearty laugh. "Anything for you, dear sister."

Celestia gave an involuntary yawn. "Thank you. I'm off to bed now." She turned away.

"Oh, uh, sis? I was going to ask you something as well."

She stopped. "Yes?"

"Could I..." She paused. "Could I sleep with you tonight?"

"I do hope you aren't planning anything mischievous." the alicorn teased.

"Wha-?!"

"Only kidding. Of course you can."

"Yay!"

Luna - Moongazing

By the Moonlight

The First - Moongazing

Luna eyed her handiwork wearily. Another night lit up by the great white moon, and of course everypony was asleep. She really should be joining them- it passed the time and helped her forget her sorrow. She had to hide it, after all- for her sister's sake if anything. Celly would be broken if she found out her sister was just as disenchanted as she was before her banishment.

Oh, the banishment. A thousand years spent on the surface of her own charge. They had allowed her to witness just how little the world cared about the moon and its stars. And then she had returned, vengeance in her heart. Friendship had defeated her- but what good was friendship when her life's work went by unnoticed?

The alicorn sighed and twisted in her bed. Why did she have to deal with this every single night? Why couldn't she just let it all be? And as she asked herself this question, the obvious answer came to her. Because it was her purpose to raise the moon and stars and bring on the night, just as her sister raised the sun to begin the day. And though her skills as a leader had been acknowledged and proven many times in the past, no pony ever seemed to recognize the other role she performed, the reason she had been gifted with both a horn and wings. Celestia's duty to raise both the sun and moon for the past millennium hadn't helped.

She stared at the ceiling, painted as dark as the night sky. Even her surroundings seemed to be taunting her with imagery. She felt the urgent need to open herself to someone, but the only true friend she seemed to have was her sis... and of course there was no way she could tell her. She could've sworn there was a time when things weren't so difficult, when she felt loved.

Luna groaned and eased herself out of the bed. Perhaps a little stroll through the halls would ease her stress.

Trixie - Sanguis

By the Moonlight

The Sixth - Sanguis

On a moonlit plain- what most ponies would have deemed the middle of nowhere- a wooden caravan was stopped, home to a traveling showmare. The unicorn in question sat upright in her bed, nursing a glass of fine red wine with a mournful look. Having fled from Ponyville after what was surely her least-successful show, she had traveled to Manehattan, where a carpenter had offered to build a replacement for her crushed transportation and stage- for a price. Trixie took a sip of the bitter liquid and let it slosh around in her mouth. She had given herself to him- every last ounce of her was his for the taking. In exchange, she was able to resume her touring.

The pony shook her head in disbelief- and then a voice inside her, a voice she had tried to bury deep, spoke. The show must go on, huh? Give yourself to it, because there's nothing else you'll ever be able to do with what you've got. And hey- if you ruin a few ponies' days or self-image, who cares, right? It's not like it matters to you- no, you love yourself too much to let it get to you. Or did I miss something?

Trixie sighed. Truth be told, the heckling had been there since she first started, but she had always thought of it as part of the job. Yes, boast and brag and make them despise you, then finish up with some flashy tricks. That's one way to build a following. The only ones that ever seem to truly like you are the impressionable foals... But you like them, don't you, O Great and Powerful?

She poured herself some more wine and began to drink. That's right, swallow it. Drown everything out with your precious booze because there's no way you'll ever, ever face up. Trixie paused and snorted, then hurled the glass at the wall, where it shattered and bled. Like your dreams, dear, like your dreams...

And then she sobbed and sobbed until she passed out.