Tale of Two Worlds

“Wait, I’m your subject?” I say as I look at him, making my silverware fight each other gladiator-like. “I mean, I know you’re practically made of chaos and stuff, but don’t you think since I’m helping you get back to Equestria and letting you stay here, - Not that I could stop you - Don’t you think I would be in charge?” I stare at him with apparent unfaltering confidence, when inside I’m killing myself over challenge a chaos lord. What the fuck did you just do, dumbass? I continue to chastise myself until Discord speaks.

        “Oh how funny! You seem to know so much about me yet you find this surprising?” He says with a loud chuckle. “I am a ruler after all, I can’t rule without any subjects!”

“Well yeah, of course. But I’m helping you get back to Equestria where there are helpless ponies to rule over.” And kick your ass. “Humans however, if they don’t like what you’re doing, they will not accept it and put up a fight.” As I say this, Discord stands and towers above me with his hands on his hips. “Are you threatening your ruler, human?”

        “I-I, no, of course not.” Way to go, you idiot. “It’s a warning.” DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK? “Not of me, but of the rest of humanity. I could never challenge you.” Discord smirks at this, knowing all too well he has complete power over me. “Very well then, how about you get your ruler something to eat? I am famished!” He says as he waves me away.

        I sigh. “I will feed you, but I’m not calling you ‘ruler’ or anything.” I say as I begin walking. Before I even take my first step towards the kitchen, I feel a tug at my feet and notice he had tied my shoelaces again. “Oh you sneaky bastard.” I say with a chuckle as I untie them and walk into the kitchen. “Anything you want in particular?”

        “Got any pony meat?” Discord says with a sinister smile, obviously trying to coax a reaction out of me. I’m not gonna lie, rage flourished within me with that statement. I mean, who would eat such adorable little candy-colored ponies? Anyone who would DESERVES to be trapped in stone. “Not that I know of.” I call back, ignoring my anger. “Will any meat do?”

        “It’s quite alright, human. You would probably screw it up anyways.” Discord says smugly as he summons a glass and fills it up with chocolate milk from top to bottom. “I doubt you have the skill to make a good glass of this either.” I chuckle at this.

        “Please, Discord. Every human on Earth can make chocolate milk.” I say as he chugs the glass and throws the milk which shatters. Hey, at least it didn’t explode. “Although, you are the only being who can make it rain chocolate milk...” Discord smiles giddily at this.

        “Funny you should mention that...” He says as he looks out a window. “How fun, wouldn’t you say?” Just the idea of having chocolate rain is enough to make me smile. “Oh hell yes. I only ask that you keep it on this street. We don’t need any attention.

        Discord looks at me with a devilish smile. “Oh I could keep the rain on this street...” He says with a snap of his fingers. “...But I think I would have a tougher time controlling that rhino.” Discord laughs as I look out through the window at a huge rhinoceros rampaging down the street, smashing people’s mailboxes and trampling their lawns. I try to stifle a laugh as the onlookers hide in fear. “Come on, Discord, we don’t need any attention!” I can’t hold it anymore, I burst out laughing as Discord snaps his fingers, causing the rhino to disappear in a poof, being replaced by a swarm of wasps that chase the bystanders away. He looks at me with a grin as wide as the ocean.

        “I can see you have Chaos in your heart, human.” I chuckle.

        “Yeah, but I’m not evil. I don’t go around hurting people, but I love a good prank.”

Discord raises his eyebrow. “I find it boring here. I wish to explore.” He says smiling devilishly.

        “Can you turn into a human so not to draw attention?” I say as Discord moves eye to eye with me. “I knew you would say that.” Discord presses his finger to the top of my head while staring into my eyes, transforming into something familiar. Transforming to me. He is now a mirror image of me except for his eyes. “See you soon human!” He says as he bounces out of my house, laughing and dancing down the street.

        “...Fuck.” I utter as I run out after him. “If you get me in trouble I won’t be able to help you get back! And I already have some theories!” At this, Discord disappears in a puff of smoke, and reappears behind me in his own form, with an elbow on my shoulder.

        “What makes you think I want to go back?” He snaps his fingers, causing the pavement to act as ice. “I can have so much fun here!”

        “SHIT!” I say as I slip, landing on my ass. “Oww.... because ponies are much easier to control than humans.” I say, slowly standing up on the ice-sidewalk. “Whoa... Okay, ponies will obey anything stronger than them out of fear of being destroyed. Humans however, they will fight to their dying breath. Even a being as powerful as you couldn’t stop humanity.”

        “And what of Celestia?” Discord says staring at me, sitting on a random stump protruding out of the pavement. “Well, Celestia herself doesn’t have the power to stop you. She needs the Elements of Harmony. And if I remember correctly, you almost beat them last time.” I explain, a greedy smile slowly crossing my face.

        “And I know how you can defeat them.”