Reconnaissance Report
Hatchling: Hunter 23120
Event: Wedding of Matilda and Cranky
Date: June 13th
Location: Ponyville, center plaza
Objective: Gather intelligence on the rumored love amount in ponyville and take note of powerful defenses for a future invasion.
Result: DO NOT INVADE. The ponies are crazy.
I was sent to gather intelligence on the rumored wedding that was to take place in ponyville. It was a pretty routine mission, which is probably why they sent me. I’m a fresh hatchling, Hunter 23120 to be precise, and this was my first mission into a real pony city. I was really excited to get out on the field, but I had to be extra careful to keep my true identity safe. A changeling in pony society would have ‘extremely dire repercussions,’ or at least that is what my handbook said. I had read it all through a dozen times, but some of the parts about ‘detailed societal analysis’ and ‘duplication prevention’ confused me.
It was nerveracking at first, but I remembered how my friends all told me that I wouldn’t see my own disguise but everyone else could. According to my friends, I was a mare of moderate age and beauty, with a purple coat and a dark red mane.
The trip to the city from the hive was about 3 days time, but I enjoyed it while I could. Provisions were adequate, and as I reached the city, I stashed the remaining supplies in a hollowed out tree on the edge of the Everfree forest.
Upon entering the city, I immediately noticed that every pony was extremely wary of newcomers. This wariness probably stemmed from the closely knit community of the city.The hardest part of my mission was trying to blend in with the crowd. I noted that most ponies tried to keep their distance from me, but that was okay with me. I was simply here to gather information on the wedding. It felt cool to be so undercover, and I knew they wouldn’t confront a stranger.
It took quite a while of wandering the city before I found the center, but when I did I noticed a group of ponies careening through the air. I’m taking note of this because it seems as though the reports of the shenanigans in ponyville have been drastically understated. It seems as though even earth ponies can fly. At the sight of this, I quickly ran into an alleyway and hid in the shadows. The door was wide open, but there was something fishy about the doorway. I climbed my way to the top of the building and watched as the rest of the city crowded into the small building. My opportunity for penetration was on the second balcony. I tossed a rope across and, after a few dozen tries, I managed to hook it on the railing of the second balcony. I took hold of the rope and leapt from the top of the building, but I misjudged my angle and landed in the middle of the street.
I quickly looked around me and every pony in view seemed rather startled. My disguise must have had a broken leg. I quickly waved them all off, telling them that I was alright, but they seemed even more frightened at this news. My condition must have been quite dire, as many began screaming for help.
To prove that I was alright, I rapidly climbed my rope, to the amazement of the crowd that had gathered around me. Aparently my rope climbing skill made an impression on them, and they started shouting as I reached the top. I didn’t really catch what they were yelling, but they started throwing things at me. I guess rocks are the new roses in their twisted society. It was then when I truly became wary of ponyville.
I used the same rope to lower myself into the back row of the wedding. This was where my mission truly began. The ceremony was just starting, and I quickly began scanning for the sources of love in the crowd. There was a glowing area just ahead of me where Princess Cadance and her husband sat. There was a small glow coming from two of the musicians and a slightly stronger signal coming from the cream and mint color ponies that sat a few rows ahead of me.
The largest source by far was the in the center of the stage where the ceremony was taking place. Matilda and Cranky were pulsing with it, and I had grip the chair to keep myself from racing up to the pulpit and absorbing their affection. The reports of this city’s love were right on target, but they were also a quite suspicious bunch. They seemed to shun me mainly because my disguise was unfamiliar to them.
I looked to my side to see several fillies huddled several chairs down from me. I suppose my injury to my disguise was pretty grotesque. I turned my attention back to the wedding and quickly began to take notes on the individuals. There were several types of ponies, some large and some small. There was a large amount of love in the entire building, but I kept on getting a vibe that the ponies were too suspicious of strangers.
Then, the unthinkable happened. I heard a stallion next to me utter the word ‘changeling.’ I assumed this was not in reference to me, but as I watched the ponies slowly turn their attention to me, it dawned on me that I may not be in disguise.
I looked to my left to the stallion who had mentioned ‘changeling,’ then to the right to the frightened children. I held my hoof forward, letting the light stream through one of the holes in my foreleg. I saw the light stream through me and onto the floor. My head snapped up and my eyes locked straight forward. There was only one thing I could think.
Shit
Edit: Upon discovery of Hunter 23120’s identity, he quickly fled the city and returned to the hive. Disciplinary actions were taken for his negligence of duty and failure of disguise. Hunter 23120 was later stripped of his reconnaissance privileges.
Commander’s note:
This document is to be made public, and Hunter 23120 is to remain in the hive at all times. Let this be required reading for all changelings who perform reconnaissance missions into pony societies and a warning to any recon officers who dare let their disguise fail. This is a humiliation to the hive. Do not make this mistake.
Author's Note
Reddit, I swear you're gonna be the death of me.
