Knock knock.
“Enter!”
The thick Eversteel door swung inwards. An earth pony mare with a beige coat stepped inside, her expression blank and her step sure. She slowly walked into the middle of the almost empty room and sat down, facing the desk with the wall-facing chair.
“Name?”
The voice that had invited the mare in, now asking for her identity, was flat and emotionless. The voice of a leader with much to lose.
“Special Agent Sweetie Drops.”
The chair swung around. The stallion in it had his eyes concealed behind dark glasses, but his gaze seemed to cut through the black lenses. A long crystal cone protruded from his forehead where a unicorn’s horn would be and his left front hoof was missing, replaced instead by the unmistakable claw of a dragon.
The stallion peered down at a sheet of paper on his desk without turning his head. “Agent Sweetie Drops, senior member of the Anti-Monster agency.”
“Yes, Director.”
The pony at the desk nodded sternly. “You’re one of the agency’s top monster-hunters. As such, you tend to learn of the latest developments before most of the other agents.”
“Yes, Director.”
“Then you must already know of the latest escapee from Tartarus.”
Agent Sweetie Drops held back a curse. She knew, but that didn't make hearing it again was any easier. She’d handled all manner of monsters in the past, but those that were locked up in and then managed to escape the dark pits of Tartarus were some of the hardest challenges she had ever faced. And the bugbear was one of the highest on the list of Tartarus threats. “Yes, sir. The costs were high. Several of my fellow agents were wounded in its flight.”
“I know, agent.” The Director turned his chair ninety degrees, giving Sweetie Drops a view of his profile. He reached up, grabbed the cone on his head and pulled it off, revealing the inch-high stump of a unicorn horn.
“I’ve faced this bugbear in the past, agent,” he said, his voice full of resentment and admiration. “It was one of the most amazing, awe-inspiring experiences of my life. The bugbear fought hard, unwilling to be caged ever again, but I was equally desperate to send it back to where it belongs. I succeeded in the end, but not before ripped my horn clean of my head.”
So that’s how it happened, Sweetie Drops thought, feeling sympathetic towards her director.
“For my bravery and unfortunate disability, I was promoted to Director. I was fine with that; my monster hunting days were over. But I don’t want a repeat of what happened all those years ago.”
“I understand, Director,” Sweetie Drops said, already turning towards the door. “I’ll gather up the best of our members and—“
“We’re shutting down the agency.”
“What?!” Sweetie Drops froze in horror. She’d been a member of the Equestrian Anti-Monster agency for years. She had helped other agents through their missions and watched normal everyday ponies go about their normal everyday lives, free of fear from the many fearsome beasts that roamed their magical land.
“Director, you can’t be serious. We need to track down the bugbear!”
“No, agent.” The Director got up from his chair and walked to the window. “The Princess herself has asked for this. And I agree.”
“But sir…“
“Agent. Come here.”
Sweetie Drops sighed and hung her head, but she did as she was bidden. “Yes, sir?”
“Look out. Look out onto the streets. Look at the ponies out there. They can’t be allowed to suffer from our inability to do our duty.” The Director turned to face the agent. “An escaped bugbear could uncover us completely. We must not let the populace learn of the agency’s existence. I’ve already asked most of our members to destroy any evidence of the baseand either dismiss themselves or go under cover. In less than a day, this—“ He gestured to the room and the building they were in, “—will be gone.”
Sweetie Drops allowed her mind to wander. The disbanding of the agency and denying of its existence would allow her to start a whole new life as a regular pony. Aside from monster hunting, she’d always dreamed of opening a sweet shop, living in a quaint environment, maybe sharing a room with a good friend. All that seemed possible now.
But in her heart, the mare knew she would never be able to let go of the exhilarating feeling of tracking down dangerous beasts and locking them away from ponies.
“But Director,” Sweetie Drops began, “what about the bugbear? It’s still out there somewhere.”
“It’s beyond us now, agent,” the Director said with a heavy heart. “Princess Celestia is demanding deniability of our whole existence.”
“But the bugbear will still exist! We’ll be gone and it’ll still be around, looking for someplace to terrorize.”
The Director stared out the window, down the mountain upon which Canterlot sat, and off into the distance. “I wish there was something I could do about it” he admitted, “but even as the ex-director of the agency, I no longer have the power.” He raised his eyes to the fake horn on his head.
“So…. what do I do?”
“Do what you think is right.” The Director reached under his desk and pulled out a metal case, which he slung over his back. “I will always miss you and your expert skills. Keep in touch, my dear.”
And with that, the Director of the Equestrian Anti-Monster agency left.
Ex-agent Sweetie Drops looked somberly at the empty chair, then back out the window. What more was there for her to do, now that her monster-tracking was no longer needed? Should she try to forget her secret past and live like all the other ponies? It was all so sudden.
Stupid bugbear, she grumbled. One of these days, I will return it to Tartarus where it belongs.
But first, I need to talk to a friend.
*
Among the most valued members of the now-disbanding agency was Swapper. Swapper was a changeling who had abandoned his hive and decided to find a new purpose in life other than looking for ponies to leech love off of. He was fortunate enough to come across agent Sweetie Drops while she was out on a mission, ultimately saving her from a hydra by using his natural skills of shape-shifting to confuse the beast. Sweetie Drops returned to base with Swapper and the changeling was taken in as a new recruit to begin his new life as a secret agent.
On that particular day, Swapper was in the agency’s lounge, reading a book on crossbreeds in Equestria. All the agents including himself knew of the agency's disbanding and most of them had already left. Swapper's attention was drawn when Sweetie Drops appeared on the stairs, looking gloomy and crestfallen.
“Hey there, partner,” Swapper called, closing his book. “Doing all right?”
Sweetie Drops ambled slowly over to the cushion beside the changeling and curled up on it. “Oh Swapper, what are we gonna do?” she sighed, letting her head drop onto the poofy seat. “I’ve been at this monster-hunting business for a long time now. I don’t believe I can just drop all of that and settle down!”
Swapper watched his friend’s expression closely. Out of all the agents, he trusted Sweetie Drops the most and though the other agents treated him like any other pony, Sweetie Drops showed him far more. Swapper thought back on his own life-changing decision. At first, when he’d left the hive, he too had a hard time turning away from the lifestyle he’d been born into. But with a little help, he’d found a much better place.
"It won’t be easy,” he finally said. “Just remember, it’ll be the second time for me.”
“So will it be easier or harder for you?” Sweetie asked with a weak smile.
“Who knows?”
The two ex-agents sat in silence, thinking about their choices. Swapper could, of course, return to the hive, but they might not be so keen to receive him and the hive-mind way of life may be too alien for him now. Sweetie Drops could return to her family, but she was already a big mare and should find her own place to settle.
“Why don’t we start with a new location?” Swapper suggested.
Sweetie Drops straightened up. “You mean leave Canterlot?”
“Sure. We’ve travelled Equestria, we’ve seen loads of settlements. Maybe we’ll enjoy living in one of them.”
“Hmm…. Well, I’ve always liked Ponyville,” Sweetie Drops mused. “It’s quite peaceful, but the Everfree Forest is right next to it and is probably teeming with all manner of creatures if things get too boring.”
Swapper smiled. His fangs caught the light. “Then it's settled? We’re going?”
“Let’s go get our things.”
Sweetie Drops and Swapper went to their lockers and packed up all their agency equipment. Sweetie Drops had to sigh as she rolled up her grappling hook and rope. That tool had gotten her through some rough spots. When they were all packed, they grabbed their cases and headed for the exit, where a fellow agent was waiting for them.
“You two are the last ones?” he told them, to which the mare and the changeling nodded. “The Director asked me and some of the others to… tidy up the place. Can’t have the next renters finding out who used to bunk in here.”
“No,” Swapper agreed with a grin. “That wouldn’t be too good.”
The stallion walked past them and stood at the bottom of the stairs. “Well, good luck with your new lives, guys.”
“You too!”
Sweetie Drops and Swapper left the old agency building and walked through the passageway that opened up outside of Canterlot. They climbed out of the hidden tunnel and looked around.
“The only ponies who can see us are the guards at the gate,” Swapper reported, looking back towards the capital.
“Then our secret lives end here and now,” Sweetie Drops said with a hint of longing.
“If that’s the case, maybe you should drop your code name and take back your old one. I always preferred ‘Bon Bon’ anyway.”
The mare looked unsurely at her changeling friend. “Do you really think so?”
Swapper nodded.
“Okay then. From now on, we’ll use Bon Bon. Hopefully, the other agents will remember that detail if we run into any of them.”
“Yeah, it would be awkward if they used your codename.”
“Hey, I wouldn’t talk, Cheeselegs,” Bon Bon joked.
Swapper pouted. “Okay, so I stink at coming up with names. You don’t have to rub it in.”
Bon Bon poked him. “Come on, I’m just pulling your leghole, Swapper.” She looked back one more time at Canterlot, wondering what the Director would do now. “Well, we won’t get there any faster by standing around. Off to Ponyville.”
“Let’s go!”
The two friends began to walk along the mountain trail that ran alongside the train track, Both of them wondering what new secrets awaited them out in the world of everyday pony life.
Author's Note
I told myself I wouldn't write anything about the 100th episode
But I didn't listen!
It wasn’t long before Bon Bon and Swapper decided that walking to Ponyville would take way too long and jumped onto a passing train. When the conductor caught sight of them, they told him they’d missed the previous train and were hoping to catch the next one that came along. After stretching the story for a few more minutes, the conductor accepted their bits and left them to spend the rest of the ride in peace.
“This is nice,” Swapper remarked. He had taken the shape of a leaf-green pegasus stallion to avoid suspicion and possible arrest. “I’ve always liked watching the trains and riding in them. So much more convenient than walking or flying.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Bon Bon agreed. She rested her head on her hoof and looked out the window, watching the scenery whizz by. “Swapper, what do you think will happen when we get to Ponyville?”
Swapper raised an eyebrow. “Are you already thinking that far ahead? Take it slow, Bon Bon. We’ve still got a whole train ride.”
“Sorry. Guess I’m still alert from all those missions. It might take a while before I’m sufficiently calm.”
“Chill, Bon Bon,” Swapper insisted. “We’re on a train. Nothing’s gonna happen.”
Taboo.
SCREEEEEEEE! The train suddenly lurched, throwing everypony out of their seats. Bon Bon quickly got back up, ignoring the lump she was now sporting on her head. “What happened?”
“Ugh.” Swapper picked up his head and rubbed it. “Not sure. Train must have hit something.”
GRRRRRRRRRRRRBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Bon Bon blanched. “Oh no. The bugbear!”
“Eh, what?!” Swapper practically screamed.
The two friends rushed to the closest window and leaned out. The train engine was disconnected from the cars, overturned alongside the tracks. Ponies were running all about, looking for cover or cowering in the train cars.
Hovering over all this, watching the passengers scramble about like insects, was the bugbear.
Six claws with long sharp nails swiping through the air. A large bulky body patterned with white, black and yellow stripes. An ursine head with a fanged mouth, red eyes and a pair of twitchy antennae. A set of translucent wings and a huge stinger curling out of its abdomen.
Bon Bon gritted her teeth. She hadn’t anticipated the possibility of meeting the bugbear now, right after the agency had closed down. Did it know? Could it have found out we disbanded and is now utilizing that to the fullest?
Any further thinking Bon Bon was going to give this was pushed aside as the bugbear shot towards the train with a loud roar, stinger aimed at its target. “Here it comes!” Swapper yelled.
“Swapper, move!” Bon Bon tackled her friend as the bugbear slammed into the train carriage. The car rocked to the left and tipped over, smashing against the ground. Bon Bon and Swapper quickly climbed out of the sky-facing door. The bugbear had started ripping at the carriage wall, trying to get at the ponies still inside.
“Bon Bon, we have to stop it,” Swapper said, pulling the mare’s leg. “There are still civilians on the train. We need to save them!”
“Right, right. But we have to keep our identities hidden,” Bon Bon replied
“Already got mine.” Swapper touched his ‘coat’.
Bon Bon reached into her bag and pulled out her shades. Man, sometimes I really envy Swapper’s power. That and I need a new disguise. She donned her glasses and turned towards the bugbear. The beast was retreating into the sky, having attempted and failed to bust its way into the train carriage.
“It’s retreating?” Swapper wondered.
“I guess.” Bon Bon squinted up at the disappearing dot that was the bugbear. Then her eyes widened in horror behind her shades. “It’s going to dive at the train!”
Swapper paled. “An impact like that would definitely hurt the passengers! Heck, it'll kill them!”
“Here it comes!” The black-and-white dot started to get bigger as the bugbear let itself fall out of the sky at an alarming speed, aiming straight for the train. Bon Bon quickly pulled Swapper to the edge of their carriage as an idea struck her. “We’re going to knock it away.”
“Knock it away? How?”
“When the bugbear is just over the carriage, we’re going to run over and body-slam him away.”
“Bon Bon, that’s crazy,” the disguised changeling insisted. “That monster is dropping out of the sky at some thousand miles per hour, and you want us to run into him?”
“Yes, Swapper. We may not be part of the agency anymore, but we’re still responsible for the bugbear. I can’t let it harm the civilians.”
Swapper snorted. “You ponies and your selfless, righteous ways. In the hive, we don’t have that stuff. Each drone follows the wishes of the queen and that’s it. Which is exactly why I left.”
“I’m glad you did,” Bon Bon said, giving her partner a hug.
It was then that Bon Bon noticed activity going on around the train carriages the bugbear was targeting. The carriage door was suddenly flung open and a mint-green unicorn poked her head out, attempting to escape the train wreck. She was completely unaware of the giant insect-ursine dropping towards her, its four paws ready to slam the train.
Bon Bon freaked out. She’ll be killed! Without hesitation or so much as an explanation, she picked up Swapper and threw him at the unicorn. The changeling slammed into the mare and both of them went flying off the train and rolled down the mountainside.
Sweet Celestia! Bon Bon wanted desperately to check on her partner and the near-victim, but she saw the bugbear nearing and tensed her legs. I’ll have to check on them once I’m done with this thing. The earth pony watched carefully as the roaring bugbear drew closer and closer, the ponies in the carriage screaming as they each noticed the monster. When the bugbear passed her mental checkpoint, Bon Bon ran. She galloped across the sideways train, leaping over smashed windows, jumped the last few feet and-
WHAM!
-intercepted the bugbear.
The first thing Bon Bon felt was a burning sensation in the shoulder she had rammed into the bugbear’s body. She guessed she had broken a few bones. But that became the least of her concerns as she and the monster shot away from the train.
The bugbear itself seemed confused that it had not smashed into the train and sunk its claws into the little colorful ponies inside it. Instead, it was bouncing away from the wrecked train with a different pony that it was sure had tried to stop it from hitting the train just now. The bugbear wanted to reach over and strangle the little pony, but was heavily disoriented from the constant slamming of its face against the ground.
Bon Bon was thankful that the bugbear was unable to attack her, and even more so that it had failed to hit the train. At least I managed to do something, she thought. I wonder how Swapper and that unicorn are doing. It can’t be a nice thing, to be knocked off a train and then fall down the side of a mountain.
The mountain.
The drop only registered in her head after Bon Bon and the bugbear flew off the cliff and began to tumble down the rocky face of the mountain. She felt the bugbear underneath her, making a very useful sled. The beast was snarling and trying to claw at her, but each time its head hit a rock it got angrier and more disoriented.
Serves it right, Bon Bon decided, doing her best to stay balanced on the monster’s stomach as they zoomed down the mountain. As they sped along, she looked down to the ground beneath them in hopes of seeing her partner, but neither Swapper nor the mare she’d thrown him into were in sight. I hope they’re okay.
WHAP!
Bon Bon felt a sharp stinging pain flaring from her right cheek, as well as her feet being lifted off the bugbear. For a second she was flying across the sky, then she was falling through the air and into a tree. She slammed into the branches, one by one, until at last she fell out of the tree and onto the soft grass beneath it.
“Ow. Ow ow owowow.”
The ex-secret agent eased herself up and looked about. She had fallen onto the edge of a clearing in the middle of a forest. Far to the east, she could see the mountain through the trees. Had she really been knocked all the way from the mountain to here?
“First things first,” she decided, “I gotta find Swapper.” Bon Bon started to get up, but quickly fell back down with a grunt. Her shoulder still ached, as did her back legs. The crash had done more damage than she realized. She was in no condition to move, let alone walk.
“Okay. Guess I’m stuck here for a while.” She looked into the clearing and tried to see if anypony was around, although she doubted there would be anypony this far into the woods from any settlement. The babbling of a brook calmed her, knowing that there was water close by. In fact, she was getting thirsty.
Bon Bon tried to pull herself along using only her front hooves, grabbing boulders, shrubs and trees to move herself towards the sound of the brook. It was slow tedious work but it eventually bore fruit. As she pushed past a flowering bush, the brook came into view.
“Water,” she muttered, already panting from thirst. Bon Bon pulled herself the rest of the way and, with one final movement, plunged her face into the stream.
“Blurblurblublurblublur,” she blew into the water, letting it refresh her before taking a long draught. Once she’d had her fill, she gently pushed herself upright. “All right then, Bon Bon. You’ve gotten yourself into a fine mess. Now you’ve gotta think of a way out.”
She looked back up through the trees at the cliffs of Canterlot Mountain. Swapper and that silly unicorn must’ve come down that same cliff. But they probably didn’t land nearly as far as I did, unless Swapper smacked the unicorn away. That means that they likely ended up at the foot of the mountain. Now, unless my internal compass is mistaken, and since Canterlot is up there, Ponyville is that way. She looked southwest, the direction in which the stream was flowing and the trees seemed to grow closer together.
I must be in the outer Everfree, Bon Bon figured. Deeper in is where all the monsters are. But I’m in no condition to go thrill seeking. Besides, I need to find Swapper.
Old Cheeselegs. What did they agree on doing if ever they were separated? Think back to the last location we settled on going to and meet up there, however long it took. Bon Bon trusted that Swapper would go to Ponyville, so she would have to do so too.
“Now I just need a way to get there,” Bon Bon muttered, feeling her back legs throb. Though I’m really incapable of walking there. The gurgling water in the brook was becoming rather distracting, however calming it was.
Of course. The river!
Bon Bon slid back to the stream and pushed herself in. She felt the current flow around her, moving her gradually forward. Well, I won’t be beating him there, but this should give me a good start.
The river carried Bon Bon through the forest, sometimes the water being just ten inches, other times it was several feet. Bon Bon punted herself around boulders and logs with her front hooves, occasionally paddling for a burst of speed, while using her weakened back legs for steering. After what seemed like an hour, Bon Bon noticed light filtering through the trees, which had become sparser.
Could it be? Bon Bon squinted, trying to see past the last bendy trunks. The river widened as it exited the woods and she could see how it flowed in the distance through low grassy hills and right past a settlement.
Ponyville. At long last.
Relief filled Bon Bon’s tired and aching bones as she took in the sight. She remembered the comforting feeling of coming home to the agency, and the thought of sleeping in her nice bunk. Seeing Ponyville so near was as warming as that.
First thing though, I’ll have to find Swapper and make sure he’s okay. Though she knew it would be difficult. Swapper was sure to have changed his disguise at least once since falling off Canterlot Mountain.
Bon Bon punted herself ashore and clambered up the grassy bank. Though her legs were crying in pain, she was fairly certain she could make it to town with another dip in the river. “I’ll just sit here a minute and catch my breath,” she decided, curling up on the grass for a power nap.
But Equestria had other plans for our ex-secret agent.
A loud rustling came from the Everfree forest just beside her, and Bon Bon cracked her eyes open and turned. More rustling, followed by a loud crash, and from out of the woods emerged the bugbear. It was bruised all over, its right middle arm hung at its side and its wings looked crumpled, but it was up and about and angry. Its red eyes settled on Ponyville.
Damn. Bon Bon shimmied down the slope, looking over it hopefully out of sight. There’d be no point in going to Ponyville if the bugbear was on its way as well. She would have to stop it right here and now, lest the citizens catch sight of it and panic.
“Wish I had Cheeselegs with me now,” Bon Bon muttered wistfully. But no, she was on her own and was going to hold down that bugbear for as long as she could. She looked about and saw a bridge spanning the river just a little way away. If I busted the bridge and knock out the bugbear while it tries to cross, it would float right past Ponyville. That should give us all some breathing room while I recuperate.
Calculating the time it would take for the bugbear to reach the bridge, Bon Bon slipped back into the river and paddled as fast as she could to it. She floated under the bridge and, using the length of rope she always had on her, tied herself to the support beams. I take these out, the bugbear goes SPLAT. Bon Bon picked up a stone from the river bed and began to weaken the beams.
When she found them sufficiently sawed through, she tied a rope to the underside of the bridge and attached a huge rock to it. This should catch the monster in its stripy cranium, she thought smugly. Better not miss.
After another minute, Bon Bon began to hear the heavy footsteps of the bugbear nearing. She quickly got into position beside the rock, ready to send it flying upwards. The bugbear stepped on the bridge and a sharp creaking sound emitted from the support beams as they struggled to keep the bridge up.
NOW! Bon Bon swung around and, knowing the great risk that came with it, bucked the roped rock with her back legs. Pain blossomed around her abdomen and she toppled face first into the water, but the deed was done. The boulder rocketed 180 degrees around the bridge like a stone from a sling.
CLACK
The sound of rock hitting bone was music to Bon Bon’s ears right then. The roar that followed was certainly one of pain, and a crashing sound indicated the bugbear’s collapse onto the bridge. One unconscious bugbear, check.
A series of cracks gave Bon Bon a fright as the bridge began to give way. Light shone through the growing cracks and, before she could move away, the entire bridge collapsed, raining huge planks of wood, metal railings and on bugbear down on top of Bon Bon.
Whatever little of her senses weren’t overloaded by the falling debris was instead surrounded by water, as a tidal wave had exploded with the bugbear’s falling into the river. Bon Bon could only stand there as the combined force of wood and water crushed the air from her lungs and stole the light from her vision.
