Author's Note

I know so many 'parts' to each day. I seem to write more than I should with each day. I just have to find a way to plan it out better.

Day 5 (Part 1): Damn My Mind

After a scary day I was lucky enough to get to spend the night at Princess Twilight's castle with Scootaloo. Applejack and I were walking through the halls with our sisters in our arms just out of it and in their pajamas. Scootaloo had a tanktop and basket ball shorts, Applebloom just some dark blue Princess Luna themed pajamas. I was in sweat pants and a white tee. AJ looked absolutely sexy with a white bra on and short jean shorts. I was glad I could keep myself controlled in a public area. She gazed over at me as we entered a guest room. Two beds, one for each filly. "...Thanks again for keepin' my lil darlin' sister safe Ry..." She whispered. "...Sorry Rarity was yellin' atcha earlier. She was just scared."

I sighed and looked over at her after I lied Scootaloo down in her bed. "Scared was an understatement." I said. "I was actually surprised she let Sweetie Belle say goodbye before being taken back home... Man I still feel awkward after Sweetie wet herself during that nap...." As we left the room I took Applejacks hand. "Do you know how it feels to hold a sticky, wet and crying filly wrapped up in a towel until her caretaker comes?" Applejack pointed over her shoulder at Scootaloo before closing the door. I blushed walking to the other side of the hall. "Oh uh... Right..." Forgot that I let her take care of Scootaloo for a weekend giving me time to cope with our parents death. She called me up telling me Scoot pissed herself after she had a nightmare and well guess who had to get dressed and bring Scootaloo some new clothes and stay the night to make sure she was actually dry the rest of the night? Me.

"Well you didn't know if it was right or wrong for just bein' on the force for a day or so. It was just that brotherly attitude that kicked in and you were just trying to keep Sweetie Belle calm and happy." She came over and took my hand and gave me a kiss. "Now let's get next door. Twi's got us a room all set up to relax after today." As she pulled me to the door I took my hand back and sighed.

"Maybe we could get some tea or.... hot chocolate or something. My nerves could use something to calm them..." She looked into my eyes and could tell I was stressed. She gave me a warm smile and took my hand again.

"Sure sugarcube.... If we hurry we might be able to get Twilight in on this. Shining should still be here too right?" I shrugged and we started down the hall.

"...You know I'm glad you're a forgiving mare AJ... Dash doesn't forgive me for something little like eating a sandwich she kept in her fridge and yet you forgave me for mashing up your families vehicle. Why?"

"Well.... Granny always said no matter if it were big or small losin' a friend is way worse than losing what ever possession that was lost, busted or taken from ya. Why else you think I let Fluttershy keep my sock garter's?" I gave her a confused look.

"Wasn't that just because you were being nice?" She shook her head.

"Nah she said she lost em and got all sad about it. I gave her a hug and said 'hey don't worry if y'find em you can keep em.' Gotta say I didn't wear em much anyways."

"And I gotta say I think you'd look cute in it! Maybe for Hearths Warming this year I can get you an outfit that uses sock garters. Short skirt... cute character print panties that show off that cute butt of yours..."

"I swear if you say it's a school girl outfit I'm calling Big Mac to take me home."

"So you want tea or hot chocolate?" I gave a nervous smile acting like I never said anything before. She smiled back and kissed me on the cheek.

Not long later we sat with Twilight and Shining both in their bed wear too. Shining wore just shorts and a tee. Twilight wore a yellow night gown. We sat in the TV room on cushions on the floor. I had a tea cup on the coffee table in front of me, same with the others. "I'm glad you two are still awake." Princess Twilight said as she poured her brother a cup of tea. "I know today was frightening for a few of us but it's well worth it for others." She meant me. "Earlier after you two went home to grab a change of clothes I made a call and come morning we'll be having breakfast with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna! Luna insisted on coming because that some one who they are coming for to congratulate is getting a large gift from Luna herself. Again." I blushed a bit as I sipped my warm tea. Felt soothing.

Shining chuckled a bit. "Well this time the gift is pretty big from what I hear." He said. "Not car big, but it's gonna be big." I completely forgot about the gift. My first encounter with Luna. She said something about giving me a gift welcoming me to the ranks. What the gift was I had no idea. "Anyways just for you guys I'll be in the room with Scootaloo and Applebloom so you guys don't have to worry about them. You guys get into a room and relax. Cadence has me getting up sometimes when she had to bring home work a few times. I'm a trained foal sitter in my own wifes eyes."

I rolled my eyes sipping my tea. Applejack sighed. "Thank ya Shinin'. I gotta send you some of my family's apple products." She said. "I'm sure Princess Cadence would love a taste of some of my family's sparklin' apple cider!"

I gave a hefty yawn. That tea was warm and it made me too calm. Calm enough to where I wanted to fall asleep. Twilight sighed. "Chamomile tea. Always good enough to get to sleep..." She said giving a yawn as well. "... My suggestion and I don't mean to sound like a parent..." She looked to me for a moment. "...Use the potty before bed... Trust me I made that mistake first time I drank this stuff..." She blushed hard looking to her brother giving him a nervous smile. Applejack nodded and noticed I nearly set my tea cup on a non existent table. Like literally I was that tired. Although not too tired to not remember what the hell was going on thank goodness.

"C'mon sugarcube let's getcha into my bed... Hope ya don't mind that I help you use the toilet..."

I groaned a bit as she helped me up with Shining. "...B-but I don't have to go AJ..." I said. My body was actually numb I was so tired. I couldn't tell.

"Ry you are usin' that toilet I am not havin' you in my bed if you're gonna wake up wet!" She looked to Shining Armor. "C'mon help me with him! He's real heavy!" One hundred and ninety five pounds. Give or take. Anyways Shining hurried to my side and slung my arm over his shoulder. He could really carry a fully grown stallion. I remember being carried a few feet out into the hall but then I just went and passed out.

I knew I passed out when I found myself sitting in my dining room with my pajamas on. I heard a little squeak of a floor board behind me. I always sat facing away from the kitchen fixtures. I turned to see Princess Luna in her same blue dress, with her wings extended and her special mane color. She held her arms open for a hug and I couldn't help but stand up and hug her. "Oh congrats on becoming a guard Ryder!" She said. She sat me back in my chair and sat right next to me. "How did your first day go? I heard you took somepony down who was trying to kidnap your sister. Is that true?"

I gave a nod and a sigh averting my gaze. "Yep.... Got him right at the window.... and through it." I said. "...You should've seen how scared Scootaloo was.... It was like a more dangerous version of what happened that night... Cept I did the arresting. I was so pumped full of adrenaline I had to get a shard of glass taken from my arm that was about three inches long. I didn't even feel it until Scoot pointed it out!"

"Well you look to be fine. Doth thy want to connect dreams with Scootaloo? See what she's thinking about today?" I gave a slight nod and grasped Luna's hand. "Thy comfort is expected. Don't worry you'll be fine. So will your sister. If she's frightened you can hug her and comfort her from inside out but remember if any pool of liquid appears stay away! That's how that happened a while ago... Again very sorry for that. Are thy new sheets comfy?"

"Dunno... I'm not even at home but I can say they are lovely. Thank you again." She gave me a smile and her horn started to glow. "And... Thanks for the gun. I'm having Shining Armor keep a hold of it. I don't own a gun safe. Besides... If I got drunk or something I do not want that in the house." I looked to her. She gave a warm smile.

"Well it's good to see someone has a good head on their shoulders!" I smiled as everything changed around us. This time we were in sugarcube corner. I looked out into the shop and saw Scootaloo sitting with Applebloom and Sweetie Belle. "Ah... Forgot I combined their dreams earlier. Sweetie Belle was worried about her friend and... Well I had to do something for them." She released my hand and got up. "Scootaloo! Sweetie Belle, Applebloom! Couldst thy come here please?"

I watched as each filly looked at us. Scootaloo smiled a bit looking at me. Sweetie Belle too. Applebloom got up and stopped just feet away as a stain appeared on her pants. She disappeared and Sweetie Belle sighed. "...Well I was right one of you would've done that..." She said. I looked to Luna as Scootaloo hopped into my lap hugging me. Luna looked back at me as she picked Sweetie Belle up.

"Applebloom must've wet her bed. That happens sometimes but I wouldn't worry about her. Applejack or Big MacIntosh should help with that."

Scootaloo looked up at Luna. "Uh... Princess?" She said. "Ryder, Applebloom and Applejack are with me at Princess Twilight's castle! I think I hear Shining Armor...." Luna sat down setting Sweetie Belle on her lap.

"Ah well that's good somepony's watching you. Besides Applebloom is everypony here okay?"

"I'm okay thanks to Ryder for saving me!" Scootaloo said.

Luna and I gave some loving aw's. I had to hug Scootaloo. "Makin' me feel all warm and fuzzy inside sis." I said. "You don't know how bad I wanted to kill him!" My voice cracked a bit. Scootaloo didn't notice but she gave me a kiss on the cheek. I was hiding something I didn't want her to hear. I looked to Luna acting a bit worried. "...Maybe you should wake Scootaloo up... Make sure Applebloom isn't embarrassed." Luna gave a sigh and nodded telling I had something on my mind. Scootaloo groaned a bit.

"But Ryder! I wanna talk with you and Luna!"

Luna pried Scootaloo off of me and brought her away from the table with Sweetie Belle. "You will have enough time to talk with me and Ryder tomorrow morning." She said. "Right now heed thy brothers advice and check on your friend. She might need somepony other than somepony she barely knows. Go please and no whining!" Scootaloo sighed and nodded before disappearing. Luna looked to Sweetie Belle. "Thy should wake up and try and use the toilet... No pony wants to wake up wet. I'm starting to hear drips."

I heard the drips as well but by the time Sweetie Belle disappeared a large splash of water came down on me. Woke up before I had the chance to speak with Luna about what was on my mind. I woke up to being in Applejack's bed. Yes I did wet the bed but Applejack wasn't in it. She wasn't in the room. Had a dim light with the door opened a little. Tears came to my eyes. My marefriend was here, I was in Princess Twilight's castle, my sister was here, Celestia was coming and I cant hide my accident. My mind was going crazy. I was thinking about what I was getting myself in to. I was thinking about what I'd do if i'd actually lost Scootaloo. Just saying... Not good. I got up and went over to the corner curling up starting to cry. I didn't even see the one mare I didn't want seeing me like this come in. Yep. Princess Twilight. You probably thought AJ but she was probably with her sister. "Ryder? Ryder don't tell me you're wet too!" She said kneeling down next to me. I said nothing just like she asked. She sighed. "C'mon, get up... You're in good hands..."

I sniffled as she grabbed my arm and stood me up. "...Am I...? Am I really...?" I asked. "...Or... Is Scoot the one who's in good hands here...?" She looked to me as she flipped on the light.

"Ryder you and Scootaloo are both in good hands. What's got you doing this? You're supposed to be a strong guy here..."

"...I-I... I'm scared princess.... I don't wanna lose my sister...." I leaned on the wall and slid down the wall slowly sitting down. "...that moment... When I saw Scootaloo in that guy's arms.... It nearly made me wanna take a glass shard and cut my throat with it... I wanted to die... I still want to... Celestia said I couldn't do this... I should've listened..." Twilight came back and sat with me.

"Ryder.... She says that to all new recruits to see how much willpower they have. You have a ton of willpower. You've saved the cakes from getting robbed and shot, you saved Scootaloo from living life in an orphanage and even though you shouldn't have done this you killed a suspect in a murder before she tried killing my best friend. Celestia says everyone has their own plan but we never know what it is. You could be doing one thing for yourself but Dash could call you and ask to spend a few weeks in your home because she's late on rent and the land lord might boot her just for a week of late pay. I could even be sick in bed with AJ helping me and something happens to where Shining gets hurt. Nopony has control over their fate. Not even I do. Celestia doesn't either. Now why don't you get yourself changed, get AJ's sheets off and... I don't know maybe find some place to sleep. You've only been asleep for two hours and... I did tell you to use the toilet before bed. I wont hold you against it. That tea affects everypony differently."

It was true. That tea affected me way differently. There's a reason why I'm a soda guy. Anyways I had to change into- now don't laugh- I had to change into a diaper. Yeah. Princess Twilight put me in a diaper. I was lucky enough to borrow a pair of pants from Shining to hide it. I sat in my own bed with a room I had to share with Applejack blushing like crazy. She sat at the foot of my bed. "Alright... I forgive ya for that accident but I don't think we're gonna give ya any of that tea again." She said. I blushed hard pulling the covers up. "So what if you're up n padded? Big Mac had been pissin' the bed since he was four. Everypony has an accident here n again. Shoot I've shat myself on occasion in the orchard. You're among friends n family here. Aint no pony gonna laugh at ya!"

I gave a sigh. "....I guess..." I replied. "...But.... Diapers? Why diapers?"

"No foal wet themselves only once in a night Ryder."

"...I'll be nice and wear them but come morning I wanna be back in boxers... No chance of cuddling?" I looked up at Applejack. She sighed giving me a smile.

"Sorry but I'll be in my bed here just in case of a second wettin' and then some. Just get to sleep. I'll be right here if you need me."

I gave a nod before she turned out the light. I was glad to sleep through the rest of the night dry and calm. As I said morning came, I changed back to my boxers and got into a pair of shorts. I wore a tank top as I walked through the halls, contemplating my stupid thoughts. I didn't want to leave the castle to ask Pinkie for a little something to get my mind off... Well... My mind but what helped was greeting Princess Luna and Princess Celestia in the dining hall. They were the only ones there. Celestia gave me a smile as I knelt down. Luna looked a teeny bit worried. "Good morning Ryder!" Celestia said. "Congrats on taking down your first criminal scum. I hearby take back everything I said about you. I'll even forget you popped one of my guards."

Luna approached. "Sister might I take Ryder into the hall?" She asked looking back at Celestia. "I was trying to have a talk with him last night and he got a bit of a rude awakening before I had a chance." I saw Celestia give a nod. "Thank you sister. I'll be fast with him." Luna quickly grabbed my hand and walked me out of the Dining Hall and into a room across the hall.

The room was just a storage closet. Had shelves full of cleaning products and utensils. There was an old school desk in there. The one where it was connected to each other. She sat me down in it and knelt down in front of the desk. I blushed a bit as she looked me over. "...You could tell I had something deep to think about last night didn't you?" I asked. Luna gave a nod. "...You could tell I pissed the bed too... right?" Luna stood straight up and nodded again.

"I see everything in the night Ryder. Why else do I keep myself occupied with helping everypony with their problems?" I gave a shrug. "Ryder please be honest with me... Just before you woke up I caught a glimpse of something sitting at the back of your mind... Judging from what happened yesterday you want to die... What I saw was you wanted to shoot yourself dead! Are you keeping that as an option if that happens with your little sister again?" I thought. The thinking lasted forever as it felt. Tears came to my eyes.

"...Y-yes princess... It's... It's mom and dad all over again...." I started to shake. "... I....I lost mom and dad.... And almost lost Scootaloo.... I had this thought while I was in jail... that a guard grabbed Scootaloo and took her from me... From AJ from everypony... I only knew Scootaloo was okay after I talked with her.... Yesterday I got that same image.... This time I thought.... 'I''m dead... I'm all dead if he gets away...' You don't know how bad I felt..." Luna's horn glowed and a revolver appeared in mid air. Snub nose. Still powerful. It lowered onto the desk in front of me.

"Pick it up. Pick it up and show me you really want to do that!" I gave Luna a shocked look. "You heard me! Pick the loaded gun up and put it to your head!" I sniffled and hesitantly grasped the gun. Then turned the handle towards her.

"...No..." I replied. "I wont shoot myself... It's not that I'm pussying out its that my sister is expecting me to be out there at that table! As long as I know every morning I'm seeing my sisters smiling face or teary face or horribly disfigured face I want to live to see it!" Luna grinned using her magic to make the gun disappear.

"Ah... There it is. There's that reason. You're afraid that this job is compromising your sisters safety. Am I right?" I gave her a nod. "Well let me tell you... Nopony fucks with a generals family. Especially when he has the head of the guard just a phone call away." Her horn glowed and a black wallet like thing appeared floating in front of my face. I took it and flipped it open. Forty bits and a silver badge reading 'GEN. RYDER PONYVILLE UFG'. I knew it was real because it was in a shield shape and not a comical cartoonish star shape. "Well general? What is your thought on everything now?" Still dark.

"A-awesome... So high in rank yet... Don't I need some training and a lot of experience...?" Luna sighed.

"Well yes but in this case your experience is outside of the guard. Not to mention there's a goal in this. You've killed, arrested, you handle a gun like a pro, and that goal you work for is your sister. Thy sister is the most important thing in your life at the moment and you should be able to work for her and with her to make birthdays and hearths warming all the best without.... You know... Perhaps we should get back out there?"

I gave a nod shoving the badge into my pocket. Not long later I sat directly next to Scootaloo and Luna. Celestia sat on the other side between Celestia and Twilight. Applejack sat on the otherside of Scootaloo with Applebloom next to her. "So we do have some fillies joining us." Celestia said. "I wasn't expecting this but... It is nice to see such young faces in a princesses castle. Of course... A small castle means less chance of getting lost unlike Canterlot... Even I get lost there sometimes."

Twilight gave a slight laugh. "Well I would've had three fillies here but Rarity doesn't really want to greet the hero until she's calmed down." She said. "Rarity basically blames Ryder for her little sister nearly being kidnapped. I called her see if she could join us for breakfast but... Well she's trying to keep herself from vomiting more on just thinking about her sister. But enough on the bad things at the moment we are having breakfast. Since it's for Ryder maybe he would like to say a few words before ordering food?"

I looked down at Scootaloo. She looked happy yet hungry. "...Guess the faster I do this the faster we all can eat." I said standing up. I took a few deep breaths looking at everypony looking at me. Scootaloo reached her arm up and I took her hand. "Well... I'd like to thank a few of you for helping me get to this point... Shining being one. He pretty much inspired me to go and fight for what I hold near and dear to my heart... Friends and Family. Another one i'd like to thank..." I knelt down a bit and picked Scootaloo up sitting her in my arms. "Right here. My baby sister Scootaloo." I saw Scootaloo blush. "Without her... Where would I be? Probably six feet under... She's something to fight for... With all the stuff I did after I got back into town I was reminded of her... Berry with... that.... The cakes getting robbed.... Until yesterday I was scared wondering what would happen if I ever lost her.... Almost found out too. The last one... Or last few... Big MacIntosh and AJ.... Without them being there for Scoot I probably wouldn't be here holding her in my arms, giving her hugs or kissing her goodnight for... for them...." I started to tear up a bit and sat down keeping Scootaloo in my arms.

Scootaloo hugged me. Her wings trembled. She always showed emotion through her wings. Happy she had her wings extended. Sad her wings were lower. Mad her feathers frizzed. Scared or worried she had her wings trembling. She was worried. Worried about me. Worried about my emotions. "....Ryder" She said. "....Don't ever leave me...." I sniffled.

"....I wont... I wont leave you.... I wont let you go hungry.... I wont let you be ignored..."

Luna rested her hand on my shoulder. "A hayburger with habanero's, chipotle sauce, deepfried and cheese stuffed jalapenos for Ryder and waffles, whipped cream, cherries, raspberries, blueberries, lemon-honey syrup for his sister and two soda floats, Senor Salt for Ryder and a cherry cola for Scootaloo. That should cheer you both up."

I was surprised. Luna knew both of our favorite foods for breakfast. Why a hayburger for me? Trust me cereal, waffles, noodles, cold toaster pastries, toast and pancakes all get boring after a while. Anyways after I ate my burning burger and Scoot her waffles I used a truck to drive Scootaloo and Applebloom to Rarity's. Had to because AJ and Twilight needed some girl time together and Shining is elite guard that had to look after Celestia and Luna. As I pulled up I gave a sigh. Applebloom leaned up from the back seat. "Everything alright with ya?" She asked. I said nothing as I got out of the truck. Went around to the sidewalk and opened the door for the fillies. Scootaloo hurried up to the door and I just leaned on the truck. Applebloom tugged at my hand. "Just come on. Talk with me. Scoot tells me you're always quiet when you got somethin' on your mind."

Well it's true. I am quiet when I'm thinking. And Scootaloo is a bit of a tattle tale sometimes. Perfect to be an investigator. "Alright you got me...." I said with a sigh. "I want to talk with Rarity but she's gonna slam the door in my face... Any chance you could make Rarity stay at the door?" The filly at my side grinned.

"Alright I got somethin... Just keep on our side cuz we still wanna see Sweetie Belle. Okay?"

I gave her a nod and we walked up to the door. Scootaloo rang the doorbell a few times before stepping away. I saw Applebloom whisper into my sisters ear. They both giggled just before the door opened. What were they planning? Something good. Good enough to give me a big chance. Once they went inside as we saw Rarity they pushed her out into my arms, slamming the door and locking it. Rarity looked a mess. Ratty mane, pink bathrobe with ice cream stains on it. She didn't even fight to get the door back open. "....I deserved that...." She said standing herself up. She looked at me. Her face was covered with dried runny mascara. "...Ryder... I stayed up late last night, ruining my perfect figure thinking about yesterday.... I didn't open my shop or answer my phone all morning to take clients.... I... I wanna say I'm sorry.... You never know when something's gonna happen... I shouldn't punish you for somepony elses grabby paws.... I shouldn't punish Sweetie Belle for being such a cute target for something like that... You uh... You want to come in?"

I thought for a moment. "Eh... You do look like you could use a nap..." I said. "Why don't you go on up to bed, I'll wake you up in a few hours?" Rarity gave a nod and allowed me to go to the door. I knocked a few times. "Girls! Let us in! Scootaloo I will ground you if this door isn't open in the next three seconds!" We waited a moment but the door did open. I had to carry Rarity upstairs. She felt so relieved she passed out. Don't worry Sweetie Belle didn't freak out. Neither did Scootaloo or Applebloom but I did have Scootaloo call AJ and tell her where I'd be. Lucky me Princess Twilight gave me the day to spend with myself, Scootaloo and who ever I feel like.