Minds Me : Inside the Mind of Me

I leaned over the map with a long bored sigh. Luna wasn't going to be here for another hour while she finishes up with her duties. I can't even figure out why I had woken up so early in the morning. Usually I wake up right as Celestia raises the sun, but this time I had woken up two hours prior to sunrise. For the first hour I was just going through regular motions without waking Spike. I made a bowl of oats, wrote down a few key subjects about Michael's condition.

So I figured while I was waiting, I flew over to the hospital, letting the early summer thermals save needed energy later. It was a rather quick flight, not that I minded, and it wasn't that far from the castle. As soon as I landed I saw a few ponies walk out.

"Derpy, I do not know why you decided to actually try eating one of my flameless fireworks." Time had dryly commented.

Derpy giggled and looked at her friend. "Sorry Time, I just couldn't help it. They looked ssssssoooooo good."

"Ugh...you're lucky you're pretty..." Derpy blushed and her wings shot up. "Oh hello Princess Twilight!" Time Turner made a quick bow, followed by a clumsy bow from Derpy.

"Please, it's just Twilight..." I said, blushing. "How are you today?"

Time smiled. "Wonderful! Since the wedding, I've had bits pouring in from investors for my flameless fireworks! I have a full stack of weddings piled up already!" He looked at Derpy and kissed her on the cheek, exciting another blush from the light gray mare. "Thanks to this beautiful, and smart mare."

I giggled. "Well that's great Mr. Turner! If you would like any help with storing all those bits, the castle has a huge enchanted room for storing a 'few' spare bits."

He tapped his hoof to his chin, clearly thinking about my offer. "I might actually end up doing that. Would that mean I would be a noble?"

"I suppose you would. If you two do, I'm more than willing to make the Turner House very noble for a generous donation to the royal House Sparkle."

Time gave me this smug look. "Are you sure you're just Twilight Sparkle, Princess? You're playing a good game here." He held out his hoof. "Why not though? Should we talk about this another time?"

I took his hoof and nodded. "Sure! Anytime next week will be fine."

"Alright, must be off now. Come along Derpy!"

"Bye Princess!" Derpy waved goodbye and followed Time.

Once they were out of view I walked inside the hospital and up to the front desk. The mare was typing something up and pulled the paper from the typewriter. After that she put it into a folder and away from sight, she turned to me and smiled.

"Hello ma'am, how may I help you?" She asked me in a soft, welcoming tone.

"Hello, I would like to speak to Doctor Red Heart. That's if she is available."

"You're speaking to her." She smiled. "What's up Twilight?"

"I would like to speak about Michael."

She looked beyond her desk from left to right. "Let's go into the other room shall we? Confidential information and all you know?" I nodded and she stood up. As we walked down a few halls she spoke more. "Michael is very interesting, patient wise."

I laughed with her and nodded. "Yeah, but he's a wonderful friend." We stepped into her office and the door flashed as she locked it.

"Alright, what's do you need to ask me?" She asked me with a straight face, clearly trying to remain professional.

"When was the last time he saw you for like a check-up?"

"Hmmm....He was here two days ago to get a recommendation for a new medication. It was called Paxil."

"Can you tell me what it's for?"

"Of course, that bit isn't confidential. Paxil is an antidepressant medication that slows the creation of serotonin in the brain. Regular dosage is about twenty milligrams. A build up of serotonin usually leads to depression. We found a rather large build up of it when he got here."

"How come he didn't get it until now?"

She scratched her head and laughed weakly. "Well, I was the only pony who believed his brain couldn't handle that much for too long. So I had to wait until I got my licence as a doctor to give it to him."

"How long will it take before it goes into effect?"

"Two to six weeks." She said almost instantly. "It needs time to build up and rewire the brain's neural paths."

I smiled. "Thank you, and one more question before I get out of your mane...D-does he freeze up when he talks to you?"

Her frown answered that question real quick. "Yes, it worries me. It could be a cause to his depression, but I'm not his physiologist."

"Does he have one?" She shook her head no. "Dammit....Well, he should be seeing you again soon about the freeze ups. What could you do for him?"

"I cannot tell you Princess, because I have no idea. As a professional in the field of medical science, and I'm sure you would understand, I'm afraid other than giving him Paxil and time, I don't think he'll change his moods."

I sighed and stood up. "Thank you Red Heart. I need to get back to the castle, Princess Luna is probably waiting for me to return."

"Have a good day Princess."

I exit the hospital with new, better and clearer information than I had before. Even though I didn't get all the information that I had wanted, it was enough to get a jest of what's going on with my friend. Michael must have been suffering from depression since he's been here, or perhaps, before. He always seemed in a different state of mind whenever he was quiet. Most of the time, he would remain as silent as possible, but there would be times were he would act like Pinkie Pie.

Soon, I arrive back at the castle with Luna just arriving as well. I breath a sigh of relief, and shook off the bit of fear I had towards my aunt.

"Welcome to Ponyville Luna!" I smiled and hugged her gently.

"It is a good day is it not?" She smiled back. "Hello to you too Twilight, how are you?"

My ears fell back and Luna gave me this look of concern. "It's about Michael, I would be fine, but now I'm hearing and seeing all sorts of problems with him."

"Does this have to do with your latest mission in solving friendship problems?" Luna asked with a frown. "I shall help you and whomever is a part of this mission."

"Alright, lets get into the castle." I opened the doors then we walked in. Luna stepped slowly, and I followed in her pace, not really feeling like I was in a rush. "The girls will be here soon. I made sure they knew to be here at around eight a.m. To make a long story short, yes, the mission involves Michael, but we fear he isn't exactly willing to share what's wrong."

Luna hummed in thought then spoke. "So what is it that you wish for me to do."

"I know you have a spell that can put a pony to sleep for a short time and you can access their dreams from there. I was hoping that you'd be able to use it on Michael, and us so we can explore his dreams."

"I understand....Is Michael willing to do this at least?"

"If I lie, yes..." I answered and sat down on my throne while Luna sat down on Rainbow Dash's. "I don't want to, but he needs help. I can see how much pain he is in."

"And those nightmares aren't helping him. For some reason there are locks on them, preventing me from further accessing his dreams, so for now I am only able to view them. Yes, lying will be the only way to help him. A white lie isn't it?"

"More of a gray, but yes,....a lie nonetheless." I sighed and looked up at her. "Luna...in your opinion, how badly does he need help?"

"If he isn't helped soon, his dreams could overwhelm him, and he will become the nightmare I once was. For what is keeping his mind protected from the nightmare creations is unknown. Diving into his mind could be dangerous if this is so." She paused and her frown deepened. "It is a double edged blade....We can help him, but also hurt him if we aren't careful."

I winced at the thought of hurting him. Like he was hurting enough already, I really don't want to do that to him. "How so?"

"If we remove these locks, the nightmares will worsen if we don't completely solve his problems. I have studied the locks well, and discovered there are four in total if we start from the outermost lock, then work our way in, his mind will begin to weaken."

"How do we protect him?"

Luna's ears dropped. "Not even I know. Happy thought's perhaps? Leave each level making him feel happier or more at peace with himself. That is all I can think of do."

"It's fine Luna, at least you have an idea unlike me." Luna smiled at me and nodded.

"You are right Twilight. Now, I believe I sense the others arriving."

Just as she said that, the doors opened with Apple Jack and Fluttershy, both had saddle bags on filled with a few things. I quickly filled them in, and went into deeper detail. Apple Jack didn't like that she had to lie, and Fluttershy was hard to convince. However, they eventually agreed, and Fluttershy said she would do anything it would take to help her friend.

Soon after that, they left to go get Michael, and I was left with a thousand butterflies in my stomach. What was inside of Michael that was eating him up so much? What caused this poor human to be in such a state, that it caused him to freeze up so much. Luna saw me looking so nervous. She put a wing over me and said that everything was alright, that Michael wouldn't even notice us, or remember.

The spell Luna had spoken to me about was a simple-complex magical structured equation. It had several safeties and fail-safes in place in case if anything went to Tartarus. I hoped that it wouldn't, because the last thing I want to do is to go mad in somepony else's mind. Because if that happened, it would be bad....very bad. For me, and that isn't a good thing considering that it wouldn't just be me that would go mad. Luna was right when she said that the spell was like a double edged blade. It could hurt him or it could hurt us if we weren't careful.

Still though, it didn't stop the uneasy feeling in my stomach. Michael was my best friend! I don't want to see him hurt anymore, but the dangers almost seemed too great. The risk was much higher than the reward. Luna said that she had to go with us to maintain the spell, and make sure that we end up in the same place. If she wasn't or the spell wouldn't work right, we could very well be extra voices inside his head, and Luna and I aren't sure he is able to withstand two goddesses and their power within him. Tirek could, but that was his ability and he was addicted to magic.

I can hardly remember what had happened when Tirek fired that blast at me. I saw Michael, then I found myself back near the Everfree forest, close to the Tree of Harmony. Maybe this quest into his mind would bear fruit of this, and help give me some much needed closure. Not only that, but perhaps we'll able to solve the source of Michael's depression and help him through it. As friends, it is our duty to help him heal.

"Luna?" I asked while we were waiting for the girls to return with Michael. Luna looked down at me and gave me a 'hmm'. "Do you think this will really help him?"

"Do you wish to help him?" She answered by question.

"Yes."

Luna nodded, and wrapped her wing around me and brought me close. "Then that is your answer Twilight. That is all I can say. If you mean to help him, and you fail, then you still helped him. Even though a job might not be completed, the job is still done if effort was involved."

I smiled at Luna's wisdom. "Thanks Luna..."

"Anything for my friend." She smiled back and kissed me on my forehead. "And my sister's daughter." Luna added.

I smiled more. There was much wisdom in Luna's words, wisdom I don't think Celestia could ever have. Where Luna speaks, is a mare that went through Tartarus herself. She felt the darkness, embraced it, then shunned it when she found out what it does to you. It was this experience that she started diving into other pony's dreams so that they never go down the same path she went through. One time, she explained that it was like another pony controlling her, that she wished to never hurt her sister, but she still did. She told me once that she has nightmares of that time, nightmares that are etched into her brain as memories she doesn't think she will ever forget, as much as she may try to.

I don't think I could ever understand the darkness for what it truly is. Yes, I have touched and tapped into the power of darkness, but I always did it with pure intentions....I guess that's what Luna did. She tried starting a new colony, but she was denied this. So what she ended up doing was taking over Equestria, nearly killing everything in her path to get what she had wanted. She was a powerful mage a thousand years ago. The best of the best, but when she touched the darkness and embraced it, it nearly destroyed who she was inside.

Could this just be the beginning of Michael's fall, what sorts of powers would he get, and how would he use them? Michael never once acted out of emotions such as anger or rage, or even sadness. He always thought things through, and rationalized even the craziest of things such as Discord's jokes. He never acted like that, but now that I think about, he never told us about how he was feeling. Michael was almost always closed off, lying even to Apple Jack about how he feels if he does tell us. We always know, he might not think we know, but we know that there was always something wrong with him.

"We're here!" Our heads shift over across the room. Michael is standing with an apple in his hand, and takes a bite of it.

Michael swallows and coughs. "So, what's this all about? Some new spell you'd like to show me?"