Minds Me : Inside the Mind of Me

by Silver Octave

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Sad, Adventure, Human
Length: 10361

Twilight, Luna, Fluttershy, and Apple Jack dive into their friend's mind to help save him from his other selves.

The only human living in Equestria was brought to them broken, and skittish. He is afraid of many things, but faces his fears and fights his battles. However, Twilight discovers that, as much as her friends try, he manages to hide a secret he fears would make them hate him, and what it is, isn't normal. Twilight finally had enough and gets the help of her friends to help Michael the human back on the right path to healing.

"So he won't be broken ever again."

Into the mind of madness in hopes to help him. If their minds survive that is. Off they go to see Sorrow, Wrath, Odara, and Thaemis.

This is souly based on me. Everything is that I experienced is not fiction, but the place it is set in is. My other personalities are real, and I am bring treated for my disorder in hopes to rid of the people in my head. If you don't like it, too bad.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-20 15:36:12 UTC

Part 1/10

It's been roughly four years since he fell into Equestrian life. By side side the entire way, Twilight Sparkle and the rest of her friends moved to aid him. Slowly but surely he's adapted into the life, smiling everyday to his friends, and even joining a few stallions in a few card games or some beer every so often. Everypony thought thought the human had a strange name, as who would name their foal Michael. Not everypony knew that he was from another dimension altogether.

And it wasn't impossible to return the human home, but a very dangerous process that could push him into the void if they weren't careful. So eventually he decided to leave his old life on earth, and begin anew in Equestria. Soon he bought his own house, and even had an amber colored pet cat named Leo. However, when no pony was looking, or when he thought on pony was looking, Michael would look so sad, like he was dealing with a strange problem. Often, he would speak to himself in a language not even the most powerful translation spell could translate. He would look so angry at himself, but when around friends, he kept a smile that hid pain. I saw it.

My name is Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship and Magic. It is my duty along with my friends to help ponies in need of friendship or dealing with friendship problems. Our duty is to help unite and keep Equestria united as friends rather than enemies. While I was searching through a few scrolls that I had just received from the deer in the Whitetail woods, I felt my cutie mark make this weird hum. As soon as I realized what this meant, I saw Apple Jack and Fluttershy run and fly into the castle.

"Twi! Did ya feel it!?" AJ asked me. She took a look at her flank and shivered. "I ain't ever goin' to get use to dat..." She said in her usual south Equestrian slang.

Fluttershy gave a light nod and looked to Apple Jack. "I felt it while I was feeding my animals. I told them I had to deal with an important problem!"

"Come on girls, let's go see where the map calls us today." They both walked with me down the halls. "It's great to see you two again. I know we haven't seen each other in close to a week. I just wish my schedule was a little more open."

Apple Jack waved her hoof and chuckled. "Don' worry Twi. It's fine that ya get busy, yer a princess now after all." She sighed took an uneven step, but kept her pace. "Jus wish'n we got some'elp on the farm ya'know? Apple bucking season is end'n soon and we ain't got the fields finished yet."

"Oh yes, it's fine Twilight. I understand if you are busy. If you need some help, I'll more than be happy to."

We take a turn and I nod. We're only a few dozen yards from the map room. "Thanks Shy, you're a great friend." I used a quick flick of my magic to open the doors and we ran in.

Each of us sat in our chairs and our cutie marks showed up on the map in a sudden bright flash. Slowly from the roots that hung from the ceiling they floated down with grace. Our eyes were locked on our cutie marks while they floated over the map. They spun in a circle around the map until they fell down on-

"Ponyville?!" We all shouted at the same time. Apple Jack stood up from her chair and scoffed. "Well, at least we ain't gotta go far, but who would need help?" I see her turn from her chair and looked at the map, this time a little bit closer to Ponyville. After a few moments, she sat back down. "I can't think of nopony who'd need help."

"Can't be Cranky, and he just got married!" I said, tapping my chin with a hoof while I was in deep thought. It was hard to think of a pony in Ponyville that wasn't friends or had trouble getting friends. At least everypony in Ponyville had at least two or more friends...My head fell down and slammed onto the map. "This is going to be hard."

"I don't think so..." Fluttershy said. "We all know one human, but no pony."

AJ and I froze up and looked at each other. Fluttershy was more than right. The signs were there, that was for sure. The only human in Equestria, and our best friend. He had been there for all of us during the Tirek crisis, and had protected me from a deadly blast. For one reason or another, Tirek's magic had just went around him, saving me enough time to get to the Tree of Harmony. The signs that Michael was no doing so well, lately they've began getting worse or more noticeable.

Often while I would be reading about magic with him, he would set his book down and just stare out into space. He had this far off look that just put me into thoughts of what he was thinking about. What had caused him to just leave this world, then after perhaps six or seven minutes, he would continue reading like he hadn't stopped. It was strange, even during a party, he would just vanish for a few minutes and appear looking a little upset or lonely.

"Do ya really think Shy that it would me Mike?" Apple Jack asked with a sad look on her face. "We know he ain't goin' to tell us what's got him so tied up."

"I think she's right AJ. The signs are there that Michael seemed to be in pain or at a loss."

"A-ah know, but still Twi, we can't just go in and force it out of him."

"Whatever is wrong with him, it has to be inside his head." I thought aloud. "I see him just stare blankly into a wall once. Spike even started to paint, and he just stared until the paint dried!"

AJ shivered. "Don't know how he does it."

"Zecora says she gives him some kind of herb to help him, and that it might leave him doing that." Fluttershy offered a bit of side information. I could tell that she was trying but this was her friend just as much as ours, if not more. We all knew Fluttershy liked the human, but treated him more as a idol than anything. He would stand tall and face fears like no other pony has.

Michael had faced so much trouble since the moment he got here during the Changeling invasion. Since then, he always fought back and until the end. He was braver than even the Wonderbolts, or so said Rainbow Dash. Still, it left me to thinking.

"I think I have an idea, but we'll need Princess Luna's help."

"What kind of plan ya got goin'?"

"Princess Luna has a spell for going into a pony's dreams and finding out what's troubling them. She's been reporting to me of some of the nightmares she's been able to see from Michael ever since we've noticed he's been having trouble sleeping."

"And he sleeps on a magical cloud right? For his back, I think?" We nodded, that was true. I enchanted a cloud so he can sleep more peacefully, but even that had little effect on his sleeping habits. I was beginning to worry about the two large bags under his eyes I see him with most days. He had his own home, but from time to time I would come to visit him in case  he was lonely. I would see him with just two massive bags that would put Rarity's saddle bags to shame.

"So what's this got to do with Princess Luna?" Apple Jack asked skeptically.

"I think we should come back later with her and talk about this together. With her own input, maybe we can try to figure it out."

They both smiled and nodded. "Okay Twi, I trust ya. This is for Mike after all."

"Then it's settled. We'll come back tomorrow to discuss how we'll fix this." We all hoof bumped.

As soon as they came, they left back to their lives. I couldn't blame them because they both had important jobs in Ponyville. Fluttershy as they animal and pet day care expert, and Apple Jack working at her farm so Ponyville can keep eating. Though, I wish that they didn't leave. I was board of working on trying to translate old manuscripts. So I sat down and began to think of things to do.

One thing I could do is see how Michael is doing, but....he works today. Buck! I thought, looking deeper. What else could there be for me to do? I do need to write to Luna, but Spike wouldn't be here until later after he's done helping Rarity! "UGH!"

"Everything alright Twi?" I heard a lofty low voice. I arch my head to the side and I see Michael sporting a big grin with a bottle of wine in is hand. "I guess it's good I brought this. Everything alright?"

I nodded. "Oh, hello Michael. Yes, everything is fine, but why aren't you working?"

He shrugged and popped the cork off the bottle. "Eh, Berry said she's got the shop handled for the rest of the day, so she gave me the rest off. Said somethin' about talking to her marefriend or something when I left." He took the bottle and pulled it over his head, taking down a few gulps. With a satisfied gasp and sigh of air, Michael offered me the bottle.

With a quick flash of magic, I summoned two glasses and poured each of us a glass. After I was done, I set the bottle off to the side, and took a sip of the wine. "Oh, that's not too bad!"

Michael huffed playfully. "Yeah, right. Of course it's not bad! I made it!"

I gasped, nearly letting my magic lose its hold on the glass. "What?!"

He laughed and swept his black hair from his eyes. For a moment I saw the real dark brown roots. His hair had grown more, and he needed to re-dye it soon. "Yeah, don't you remember? My fourth month here I started working for Berry! Today is my fourth year working for her, so she gave me the first batch of wine I made as a gift." He paused and scratched his small goatee. "Huh...I guess that's why she let me have the rest of the day off."

I shrugged and sipped the glass. "Well, it's good. Normally I'm not the one for drinking, but today has been a little stressful." I set down the glass and looked at him in his dark blue eyes. They were so dark, they were almost black. He had on a red shirt and the same camo-cargo pants he's had since he's been here. "How are you today?"

I see him shrug and look away. "Eh, I'm fine. Today's a bit lousy, but hey!" He tipped his glass with mine and winked. "You're not doing anything right now are you?"

"No, I decided to take a break." I answered quietly. "Why do you ask?"

He smiled softly. "I just didn't want to bother you, that's all." Michael replied in his softest voice. He was always one to change his voice, sometimes he would just act so differently when he did some weird voice. "Anyways, so I gotta tell you about..." It was happening again. I swear he just stopped mid-sentence and paused there. His eyes just looked so blank. Slowly, he took a deep breath in and out, blinking slowly. "Alright, I gotta tell you about what happened today while I was on my way over here."

"Oh?" I asked. He had this huge smile on his face, completely different from what he just did. "What happened to my little human?"

He blushed and looked away. "W-well...don't call me that...I'm not little." He sighed and looked up smiling again. "So I was carrying my bottle of wine towards your place when I saw this weird looking pony. She just had the strangest eyes, like her irises just swirled like....like she was trying to hypnotize someone. So I asked her about it, and she said it was a rare eye condition."

"Are you talking about Discord's adopted daughter?"

"Yeah! Though, I can't remember what name she chose today...." He did it again.

I made a loud popping sound with my magic, which seemed to snap him out of it again. "Michael?..." He looks over at me with a frown. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, why?" He lied. "I feel better than ever. I got a bottle of wine, my best friend, and I'm drinking with you!" He laughed and swallowed down the wine.

"...It's just..."

He leans forward. "Just what Twi?" Michael just gives me this look of concern. "What?"

"Y-you seem....you seem to freeze sometimes...Just in mid-sentence..."

He scratched his head for a moment. "Well, I don't know what you're talking about. Maybe I should go see nurse Red Heart...wait...she's a doctor now. Right!" He smacks himself in the face with his hand. "That's right! She's my doctor."

"How'd you forget?"

He chuckled and drank. "This drink is heavier than I thought...I guess it aged just right." He finishes off his drink, and I pour the last of the bottle into his cup and filling my own cup up. "Thanks." I just nod. "So, any friendship problems?"

I shook my head. I was lying yes, but this was about him. I hid my flank while it was shimmering again. This was a sign that it was him that we were supposed to help. "No, everything seems to be really calm right now. Other than that Bee-Bear the other day..."

Michael just chuckles at the thought of the monster we fought a few days ago. It was some sort of cross between a bee and a bear. It was frightening at first, but I wondered why it was here in the first place. "Yeah, that was a doozy. At least Pinkie was right."

I sigh in understanding, covering my head with my forelegs. Just thinking about Pinkie being right once again made my head hurt. "Yeah, she's strange." Michael's watch began beeping and he stood up. "Need to go?"

"Yeah, it's time to take my medication. I'll see ya around okay?" He downs his drink and gives me a quick hug. "You ponies are so soft." He gives off a light chuckle and scratches me behind my head. "See ya." Michael waves off and vanishes behind the doors.

I lean my head down, feeling a little dizzy from the drink he gave me. There's a light blush on my face and I snort. "I'm not soft...."

Way to go guys! Stop that! I yelled in my head as I felt a pain surge forth. Wrath!!

Perhaps we should all try to remain calm? Thaemis suggested.

Yes, lets try to remain calm. We haven't been discovered yet.

Yes, yet is the operative word there...I'm telling you, Twilight Sparkle is catching on.

No she isn't! And besides, it isn't like she can tell that you guys are up there! I haven't even told the guys yet! Not even Red Heart knows.

If we are found out, I will kill them all.

No! Bad Wrath!

We have a deal, if we're found out, no more triggers.

Y-yes but-

A contract is a contract.

Aye, that it is. As a man, you cannot go back on your word.

Fine...let's just hope they don't find out.

Part 2/10

I leaned over the map with a long bored sigh. Luna wasn't going to be here for another hour while she finishes up with her duties. I can't even figure out why I had woken up so early in the morning. Usually I wake up right as Celestia raises the sun, but this time I had woken up two hours prior to sunrise. For the first hour I was just going through regular motions without waking Spike. I made a bowl of oats, wrote down a few key subjects about Michael's condition.

So I figured while I was waiting, I flew over to the hospital, letting the early summer thermals save needed energy later. It was a rather quick flight, not that I minded, and it wasn't that far from the castle. As soon as I landed I saw a few ponies walk out.

"Derpy, I do not know why you decided to actually try eating one of my flameless fireworks." Time had dryly commented.

Derpy giggled and looked at her friend. "Sorry Time, I just couldn't help it. They looked ssssssoooooo good."

"Ugh...you're lucky you're pretty..." Derpy blushed and her wings shot up. "Oh hello Princess Twilight!" Time Turner made a quick bow, followed by a clumsy bow from Derpy.

"Please, it's just Twilight..." I said, blushing. "How are you today?"

Time smiled. "Wonderful! Since the wedding, I've had bits pouring in from investors for my flameless fireworks! I have a full stack of weddings piled up already!" He looked at Derpy and kissed her on the cheek, exciting another blush from the light gray mare. "Thanks to this beautiful, and smart mare."

I giggled. "Well that's great Mr. Turner! If you would like any help with storing all those bits, the castle has a huge enchanted room for storing a 'few' spare bits."

He tapped his hoof to his chin, clearly thinking about my offer. "I might actually end up doing that. Would that mean I would be a noble?"

"I suppose you would. If you two do, I'm more than willing to make the Turner House very noble for a generous donation to the royal House Sparkle."

Time gave me this smug look. "Are you sure you're just Twilight Sparkle, Princess? You're playing a good game here." He held out his hoof. "Why not though? Should we talk about this another time?"

I took his hoof and nodded. "Sure! Anytime next week will be fine."

"Alright, must be off now. Come along Derpy!"

"Bye Princess!" Derpy waved goodbye and followed Time.

Once they were out of view I walked inside the hospital and up to the front desk. The mare was typing something up and pulled the paper from the typewriter. After that she put it into a folder and away from sight, she turned to me and smiled.

"Hello ma'am, how may I help you?" She asked me in a soft, welcoming tone.

"Hello, I would like to speak to Doctor Red Heart. That's if she is available."

"You're speaking to her." She smiled. "What's up Twilight?"

"I would like to speak about Michael."

She looked beyond her desk from left to right. "Let's go into the other room shall we? Confidential information and all you know?" I nodded and she stood up. As we walked down a few halls she spoke more. "Michael is very interesting, patient wise."

I laughed with her and nodded. "Yeah, but he's a wonderful friend." We stepped into her office and the door flashed as she locked it.

"Alright, what's do you need to ask me?" She asked me with a straight face, clearly trying to remain professional.

"When was the last time he saw you for like a check-up?"

"Hmmm....He was here two days ago to get a recommendation for a new medication. It was called Paxil."

"Can you tell me what it's for?"

"Of course, that bit isn't confidential. Paxil is an antidepressant medication that slows the creation of serotonin in the brain. Regular dosage is about twenty milligrams. A build up of serotonin usually leads to depression. We found a rather large build up of it when he got here."

"How come he didn't get it until now?"

She scratched her head and laughed weakly. "Well, I was the only pony who believed his brain couldn't handle that much for too long. So I had to wait until I got my licence as a doctor to give it to him."

"How long will it take before it goes into effect?"

"Two to six weeks." She said almost instantly. "It needs time to build up and rewire the brain's neural paths."

I smiled. "Thank you, and one more question before I get out of your mane...D-does he freeze up when he talks to you?"

Her frown answered that question real quick. "Yes, it worries me. It could be a cause to his depression, but I'm not his physiologist."

"Does he have one?" She shook her head no. "Dammit....Well, he should be seeing you again soon about the freeze ups. What could you do for him?"

"I cannot tell you Princess, because I have no idea. As a professional in the field of medical science, and I'm sure you would understand, I'm afraid other than giving him Paxil and time, I don't think he'll change his moods."

I sighed and stood up. "Thank you Red Heart. I need to get back to the castle, Princess Luna is probably waiting for me to return."

"Have a good day Princess."

I exit the hospital with new, better and clearer information than I had before. Even though I didn't get all the information that I had wanted, it was enough to get a jest of what's going on with my friend. Michael must have been suffering from depression since he's been here, or perhaps, before. He always seemed in a different state of mind whenever he was quiet. Most of the time, he would remain as silent as possible, but there would be times were he would act like Pinkie Pie.

Soon, I arrive back at the castle with Luna just arriving as well. I breath a sigh of relief, and shook off the bit of fear I had towards my aunt.

"Welcome to Ponyville Luna!" I smiled and hugged her gently.

"It is a good day is it not?" She smiled back. "Hello to you too Twilight, how are you?"

My ears fell back and Luna gave me this look of concern. "It's about Michael, I would be fine, but now I'm hearing and seeing all sorts of problems with him."

"Does this have to do with your latest mission in solving friendship problems?" Luna asked with a frown. "I shall help you and whomever is a part of this mission."

"Alright, lets get into the castle." I opened the doors then we walked in. Luna stepped slowly, and I followed in her pace, not really feeling like I was in a rush. "The girls will be here soon. I made sure they knew to be here at around eight a.m. To make a long story short, yes, the mission involves Michael, but we fear he isn't exactly willing to share what's wrong."

Luna hummed in thought then spoke. "So what is it that you wish for me to do."

"I know you have a spell that can put a pony to sleep for a short time and you can access their dreams from there. I was hoping that you'd be able to use it on Michael, and us so we can explore his dreams."

"I understand....Is Michael willing to do this at least?"

"If I lie, yes..." I answered and sat down on my throne while Luna sat down on Rainbow Dash's. "I don't want to, but he needs help. I can see how much pain he is in."

"And those nightmares aren't helping him. For some reason there are locks on them, preventing me from further accessing his dreams, so for now I am only able to view them. Yes, lying will be the only way to help him. A white lie isn't it?"

"More of a gray, but yes,....a lie nonetheless." I sighed and looked up at her. "Luna...in your opinion, how badly does he need help?"

"If he isn't helped soon, his dreams could overwhelm him, and he will become the nightmare I once was. For what is keeping his mind protected from the nightmare creations is unknown. Diving into his mind could be dangerous if this is so." She paused and her frown deepened. "It is a double edged blade....We can help him, but also hurt him if we aren't careful."

I winced at the thought of hurting him. Like he was hurting enough already, I really don't want to do that to him. "How so?"

"If we remove these locks, the nightmares will worsen if we don't completely solve his problems. I have studied the locks well, and discovered there are four in total if we start from the outermost lock, then work our way in, his mind will begin to weaken."

"How do we protect him?"

Luna's ears dropped. "Not even I know. Happy thought's perhaps? Leave each level making him feel happier or more at peace with himself. That is all I can think of do."

"It's fine Luna, at least you have an idea unlike me." Luna smiled at me and nodded.

"You are right Twilight. Now, I believe I sense the others arriving."

Just as she said that, the doors opened with Apple Jack and Fluttershy, both had saddle bags on filled with a few things. I quickly filled them in, and went into deeper detail. Apple Jack didn't like that she had to lie, and Fluttershy was hard to convince. However, they eventually agreed, and Fluttershy said she would do anything it would take to help her friend.

Soon after that, they left to go get Michael, and I was left with a thousand butterflies in my stomach. What was inside of Michael that was eating him up so much? What caused this poor human to be in such a state, that it caused him to freeze up so much. Luna saw me looking so nervous. She put a wing over me and said that everything was alright, that Michael wouldn't even notice us, or remember.

The spell Luna had spoken to me about was a simple-complex magical structured equation. It had several safeties and fail-safes in place in case if anything went to Tartarus. I hoped that it wouldn't, because the last thing I want to do is to go mad in somepony else's mind. Because if that happened, it would be bad....very bad. For me, and that isn't a good thing considering that it wouldn't just be me that would go mad. Luna was right when she said that the spell was like a double edged blade. It could hurt him or it could hurt us if we weren't careful.

Still though, it didn't stop the uneasy feeling in my stomach. Michael was my best friend! I don't want to see him hurt anymore, but the dangers almost seemed too great. The risk was much higher than the reward. Luna said that she had to go with us to maintain the spell, and make sure that we end up in the same place. If she wasn't or the spell wouldn't work right, we could very well be extra voices inside his head, and Luna and I aren't sure he is able to withstand two goddesses and their power within him. Tirek could, but that was his ability and he was addicted to magic.

I can hardly remember what had happened when Tirek fired that blast at me. I saw Michael, then I found myself back near the Everfree forest, close to the Tree of Harmony. Maybe this quest into his mind would bear fruit of this, and help give me some much needed closure. Not only that, but perhaps we'll able to solve the source of Michael's depression and help him through it. As friends, it is our duty to help him heal.

"Luna?" I asked while we were waiting for the girls to return with Michael. Luna looked down at me and gave me a 'hmm'. "Do you think this will really help him?"

"Do you wish to help him?" She answered by question.

"Yes."

Luna nodded, and wrapped her wing around me and brought me close. "Then that is your answer Twilight. That is all I can say. If you mean to help him, and you fail, then you still helped him. Even though a job might not be completed, the job is still done if effort was involved."

I smiled at Luna's wisdom. "Thanks Luna..."

"Anything for my friend." She smiled back and kissed me on my forehead. "And my sister's daughter." Luna added.

I smiled more. There was much wisdom in Luna's words, wisdom I don't think Celestia could ever have. Where Luna speaks, is a mare that went through Tartarus herself. She felt the darkness, embraced it, then shunned it when she found out what it does to you. It was this experience that she started diving into other pony's dreams so that they never go down the same path she went through. One time, she explained that it was like another pony controlling her, that she wished to never hurt her sister, but she still did. She told me once that she has nightmares of that time, nightmares that are etched into her brain as memories she doesn't think she will ever forget, as much as she may try to.

I don't think I could ever understand the darkness for what it truly is. Yes, I have touched and tapped into the power of darkness, but I always did it with pure intentions....I guess that's what Luna did. She tried starting a new colony, but she was denied this. So what she ended up doing was taking over Equestria, nearly killing everything in her path to get what she had wanted. She was a powerful mage a thousand years ago. The best of the best, but when she touched the darkness and embraced it, it nearly destroyed who she was inside.

Could this just be the beginning of Michael's fall, what sorts of powers would he get, and how would he use them? Michael never once acted out of emotions such as anger or rage, or even sadness. He always thought things through, and rationalized even the craziest of things such as Discord's jokes. He never acted like that, but now that I think about, he never told us about how he was feeling. Michael was almost always closed off, lying even to Apple Jack about how he feels if he does tell us. We always know, he might not think we know, but we know that there was always something wrong with him.

"We're here!" Our heads shift over across the room. Michael is standing with an apple in his hand, and takes a bite of it.

Michael swallows and coughs. "So, what's this all about? Some new spell you'd like to show me?"

Part 3/10

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" It was only a few seconds after Luna had cast her spell as now we began falling through a dark void. I felt the wind in my mane whip past me, but when I tried to open my wings, they failed to catch the air. We screamed as we fell deeper and deeper, unsure when we would land.

Already I was beginning to wonder how massive his mind was, or how empty it was. I don't even know how long we've been falling, it felt like a long time, but surely it was only a few seconds. Luna explained before we entered that the dream world is massively different from reality. It is a realm that isn't controlled by normal laws that dictated the real world. The dream world was a mirror image of the one who owns it, and the feelings they have.

We suddenly came to a stop, most of us landing with an "Mpf" or an "Ow". "Ah thought in a dream ya don' get hurt!?"

Luna snorted as she stood up. "We aren't dreaming young Apple Jack. We are currently inside of his mind."

Now that we were aware that we were in Michael's mind, we took a few moments to look around. Up above us was a clear blue sky, and to the distance there was nothing but strait grasslands. There was a dirt road that led away from the rising sun. I shivered for some reason, however it seemed I wasn't alone. I saw AJ and Fluttershy give slight shivers and looked to Luna.

"Why's it so cold Luna?" I asked.

She looked around, confused by the looks of it. "I am unsure. This is a memory by the looks and feels I am getting." She replied in a quiet voice.

A few short minutes later, we saw a yellow dog with a red collar. It looked like something out of a cartoon. It ran up to us and barked a few times with a note in it's mouth.

"What's it say'n Shy?"

"I-I don't know! Why can't I understand him?"

The dog barked more and dropped the note. Luna picked it up with her magic and looked at the contents inside. She hummed in thought, clearly trying to rationalize the meaning of the yellow dog and the note. Or maybe she is trying to figure out what memory this is.

"Who is King Mickey?" Luna asked, sounded even more confused than before.

"Isn't Mickey the nickname Pinkie Pie gave Mike?" Apple Jack asked with a questioning glace at the dog. "Hey boy! Do ya think you can help us find our friend Mike?"

The dog barked with a nod and bolted down the road. "Follow it! Do not let it get away!" Luna ordered. "It is our only guide!"

We all ran off, following the strange dog. The world seemed to shift as we ran deeper into the memory. Soon the dog vanished, but in its place appeared a gate. We felt a cross wind, and the gate opened.

They! KNOW! We heard a voice shout. THEY SEE IT!

"Who speaks!?" Luna commanded. "Tell us now!" There was no answer, only another gust of wind. Luna snorted and slammed her hooves into the gate.

If....you wish to....eeeeennnnnntttteeeeerrr....you must....think.... A voice hissed at us, one different from the other one.

"Think? What do you mean?" I asked.

Think as....me....

"Michael? Is that you?"

Yes....no.... He replied. I am....his wishes....his inner most....wishes....thoughts....the last of....what's left....

"What happened to him?" Fluttershy asked.

Paaaaaaiiiinnn.....so much *PAIN!*** The gate slammed open, revealing a long bridge.

"Thank you." Luna nodded to the sky. "It seems we have an ally."

I pushed on first. "This bridge is made of stone, so it should be sound." I regretted saying that when I saw the bridge break apart into different chunks. "Me and my big mouth!" I swore.

Apple Jack jumped to a part that was floating and laughed. "Ain't to bad! Just gotta jump!"

"B-b-but....I-I'm afraid of heights!" Fluttershy began to shake quickly.

Luna walked slowly over to Fluttershy and sat down. "Fluttershy, you must be brave." She said softly. "You are the element of kindness, of the elements of harmony! Michael is hurt, and in grave danger. Whatever is here, it is nothing that you haven't faced before."

"She's right you know?" I spoke up. "Remember when we were running away from the hydra?"

"Y-yes...?"

"Well, this is just like that time! However, we need to help Michael. He's hurting, and he needs you and the rest of us."

"Fluttershy, it is time to become the element of bravery! Stand! You must come!"

Fluttershy nodded and stood up. "R-right!" Suddenly she found a new wave of confidence. "I! Can! DO THIS!"

"There ya go Shy!" Apple Jack cheered. "Let's get ta'movin! We have a human to help!"

Luna nodded with the rest of us. Soon, we were taking our time jumping from stone to stone. While we were jumping, I noticed that there was nothing but void around us, and the parts we were on, vanished from sight. I grunted in annoyance, figuring out what we'll have to find a different way out. It was a pain in the flank that this was happening to us, but I was just glad that there was a part of Michael that was helping us. I wonder if he knew.

"YOU WILL NEVER BE GOOD!" I heard somepony yell. It was a voice I haven't head before. "ALL YOU DO IS MESS THINGS UP!"

"Luna?"

"They are voices of the past, memories now." Luna explained in between jumping rocks. "We are heading in the direct connection I believe."

The shouts continued. "YOU *STINK*!! And more... DID YOU GET THAT FROM GOODWILL?! YOU'RE SO POOR!" I began to tear up, hearing more of these voices. "You're failing my class."..."YOU'RE SO UGLY! WHY DON'T YOU KILL YOURSELF SO THE WORLD DOESN'T SEE YOU?!"

I coughed up a sob and sniffed. I jumped to the last rock and gasped out a cry. "I don't want to hear them anymore. Luna, can you stop them?"

She shook her head and looked around the darkness that surrounded us on this small island rock we were on. "Not without hurting him more."

"Jesse....Denver....Michael....Allen...your father and I...w-....w-we're getting a divorce." My eyes widened with Apple Jack's. Luna coughed in surprise and Fluttershy just covered her ears. "H-he just doesn't love me anymore...His games are more impor- The last part of that had shifted out and another one replaced it. "I can't be weak anymore....I need to protect them. This one was Michael's voice. "No more crying! Time to be a-an adult!"

Apple Jack walked up to Luna as she shivered. "W-what do ya think he means?"

Luna was quiet for sometime, seeming to stare into the darkness with total fear. "This....that last one....He...Oh~" Her voice quivered and her back legs gave way. "Oh....He hurts so much...."

"I can't take it anymore....Being sad makes me weak! I can't be weak when Allen is still little!"

"He's promising himself too much!" Luna began to cry. "No! No Michael!"

There was the sound of a loud crack. "Maybe...someone else needs to cry for me..."

Time had paused as the void was ripped away and replaced with four different bridges in each direction. Around us we saw a massive tower. At the bottom, there was a door with chains and locks covering it. The stone around the iron door was old looking, like it had been around a lot longer than Michael or even the princesses have ever lived. They looked so worn, yet each stone seemed to support the entire structure without looking in the slightest sound.

"Which one we go to first?" Apple Jack asked, looking at each door. On her side, there was a door covered in blue lines that glowed brightly. They were all connected, looking like a giant grid. In the center of the door, there was a large ring that read, Memory.

To my side behind me, the door was made of a black rock, obsidian maybe. There was lava flowing from each side, and I could feel the heat from it here a few yards away. The sign close to it read, Power. To my left were Fluttershy was, the door was behind a light waterfall. There was a large rock that had split the waterfall in half, around the door. The sign next to it showed, Pains The last door, behind Luna was a simple looking dark brown oak door with a large book on it that was titled, Wisdom.

"Truly a complex mind." Luna muttered, wiping away a few stray tears, and steeling herself up. "Nevertheless, we shall explore ALL THE DOORS!" She held a hoof out and shouted with a wide grin. "Come my friends! We shall first go see this Wisdom!"

Part 4/10

Upon opening the wooden door, we were all very surprised to what we saw in front of us. For what seemed like miles in every direction, there was books everywhere! As far as the pegasi eye could see, just books. It was so amazing to gaze upon the wealth of knowledge in each tome. The smell that graced us brought back so many memories of my early foalhood in Canterlot.

I walked over to a nearby shelf, taking a look at a few of them. "Dragonforce? Generation Gaming? Green Day? Linkin Park?" I turned to Luna. "What do you think they are?"

She pointed up above me. "There is a sign that says, 'Bands'. Perhaps they create some of the music he listened to while he was still on his world?" Luna turned to the shelf next to her. "This one reads 'Favorite Locations'. I do not know how this is wisdom like the door had said Twilight."

"That's because you're just at the beginning, and do not see the power within each word you see." We heard an old voice. There was the sounds of steps getting closer. As the creator of the voice turned around a corner, we saw it was an old looking human. His eyes were two purple orbs that glowed softly. The robe he was wearing was long, nearly dragging across the ground with some steps. It was colored a dark red, and a leather belt was tied around his waist that had a gold belt buckle. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna Everfree, Dame Fluttershy, and Lady Apple Jack. Welcome."

Luna looked at the old human male and studied him. "Who are you, and tell us how you know our names."

He bowed politely then nodded. "My name, or title is Thaemis, keeper of books. I know your names because we all do. You are quite famous, and Michael looks up to each one of you." Thaemis snapped his fingers and a book flashed into his hands. Opening it, he cleared his throat. " 'Entry twenty-six -' " He read aloud. " '-Today, Fluttershy gave me enough bits to buy a home, and I am still trying to save up enough to pay her back for her kindness. I don't care how much she denies it, I will make sure she keeps it. I didn't earn the money she gave me. Ah-well, it's time to go see Apple Jack about getting that job at her orchard. I'm not as good as her, but I'm sure a little extra help will go a long way. ' As you can see or hear, he does."

"That still doesn't explain who you are!" Luna snorted. "Tell us!"

Thaemis sighed. "Princess Luna... If you wish to know the truth, then why did you come here first? Why not see Odara where you will get your answers? I am but the keeper of books, and knowledge."

"Please tell us?" Fluttershy asked. "Tell us why you're here in his mind."

"Because I am part of his mind. One-fifth to be exact. I came around when he needed help learning. Always had trouble, I'm just doing what I was born to do."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Thaemis huffed. "Enough questions. I was researching magic before you four intruded......But fine. If you must know, I will only tell you one thing. He suffers from many years of pain."

I took a step towards him. "Please sir! We only wish to help Michael get better! Perhaps you can share some wisdom as to who you are more?"

Thaemis sighed and waved a hand. "Fine, only because I no longer wish to remain inside as a broken part, but a whole instead." He snapped his fingers and a table with chairs appeared. "I cannot tell you more about Michael ponies, but I may speak for myself. I am his spiritual side, the side that basks in wisdom of the gods and goddesses above all else. I believe I was born when he was still breaking apart, and wished to still study magic."

"I thought he said that magic didn't exist back in his world? Did he lie?"

"Yes and no, Twilight." He replied with a frown. "Magic, or so believed is the energy that is around everyone. However, this is wrong. The reason that this is, because magic is actually a metaphysical, logical, and sentient force that can only be accessed by those who have the signature of a god or goddess within their DNA."

Apple Jack put her hoof to her head and shook it. "Ugh...you sound like Twi, Mr. Thaemis."

He chuckled and nodded. "As to why he respects her so. Anyways, Michael is a descendant and reincarnation of many generations of witches that were born from the goddess that isn't mentioned in the Christian Holy Book. It is believed also that there was a goddess rather than just a single god that created man and women. Which is wrong, because where else did He get the idea of a woman's body? Why do female humans have breasts, why do they have vaginas and ovaries? Only descendants of this goddess could cast the same magic the holy son of their God could and so on they did."

Luna whistled. "Is this true though?"

Thaemis shrugged. "I am unsure Princess Luna. He believes that there are many gods and goddesses because he doesn't think that there can only be just a small number or only one that has the ability to create everything. And he knows for a fact that nothing has absolute power as such as absolutes are only mere idealistic concepts of perfection. Perfection cannot be reached, as such, logically, only more than just a few can create all that there is and will be. Nothing can control fate but the beings who are wise enough to not break apart the universe and reassemble it."

Even my head was starting to hurt now. I rubbed it gently, trying to ease it. "Sorry if I hurt your minds. It is just what I have learned, and how I view things. Logic is sound."

"I-it's not that sir....It's just...we're trying to figure out a way to help Michael."

"One more hint, then I think you should go." He stood up and sighed. "Words, even the most simplistic of them, have more power within them than one could even think it could have. Speak carefully to my brothers and sister."

Luna stood up and nodded. "Thank you for your wise words. I understand them."

He raised a brow and smirked. "I do not mean to question a goddess, Princess Luna, but are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Than that is that. Good luck in healing him. I suggest speaking to Odara next. She is logical, and will give clearer answers."

"Thank you once again." I smiled softly.

Part 5/10

We find our way back to the tower, but this time, the void looked more like a globe. There were clouds up and down all around us, and we could see another sun in the sky. Above us, I found I was able to see the top of the tower. Smiling I lipped 'thanks' for Thaemis.

"Lord Thaemis asked us to speak to a mare named Odara." Luna's eyes shot open and gasped, then covered her mouth. "Why did I say 'lord'?"

"I have a feeling something's not quite right." Fluttershy's wings fluttered nervously.

Apple Jack nodded, looking around as her tail flicked. " 'S like somepony's watch'n us....d-don't feel right."

Influence when you think olde.

Luna nodded. "Tis indeed Sir Knight Michael. We are beginning to see that thine kind are immortal in their own way."

"Whatcha' mean?" Apple Jack asked.

"Well, some minds-lets say in my case- can withstand attacks without end and never give way. Some will fall apart and work from the broken parts..." Luna went quiet for a moment. "In Michael's case, it is much clearer. He has a mind that cannot die, even in spirit he will keep thinking, moving, but however his mind is also broken. I am starting to believe that these other doors lead to those other parts."

"You say'n that he has the same problem as Pinkie Pie?"

"But much worse, twice as worse I believe." Luna nodded as she looked around. I had just noticed that Thaemis's door was covered in locks and chains. When Luna saw what I saw, she sighed. "It looks like whatever doesn't want us here, knows."

"I-is that bad?" Fluttershy asked timidly.

"Well, we better get a move on if we wish to keep our distance." Just as she began walking towards the next door marked "Memory", she winced, holding her head. "We better hurry as well. I can only keep this up until sunrise."

"How much time do we have?"

"Six hours, lets move."

So we made our way to the doorway. From the entrance, we all felt a powerful vibration, like from one of Vinyl's songs. They even caused our manes to stand on end from the power, and our ears fell back as it hurt them. With a quick spell from Luna-which was smart on her part- we were all safe from the horrid feeling.

When the door opened, we all met another bright flash and then everything went dark.

Memory saved...

"What the?" My eyes opened and I could tell we weren't anywhere Equestria could ever be.

Grid Zone 6 still under recovery. Status: 58%

"Wha?" I looked around. The ground was black with white lines glowing all around.  The sky had cubed clouds. We all felt another wave hit us. Grunting from frustration, we managed to stick our ground.

Integrity compromised. Four viruses detected.

"Hello?" asked a soft voice.

I turned my head to the child's voice, when suddenly I looked upon a smaller looking human. He wore a black suit like the rest of us, but instead of white lines, he had yellow deep sea blue lines. He had sad looking eyes, and two sad looking eyes.

"Who are you?"

"Soaring Rower." He responded. "I trust you, like he does."

Luna stepped closer. "Tell us Soaring, can you help us find a mare named Odara?"

He nodded. "I can, but Wraga won't like that. I don't want him to make him mad at me, or he'll beat me again."

"Like, harm you?" Fluttershy asked.

He nodded again, this time he whimpered slightly. "Wraga doesn't like when people help him. He doesn't like help from anybody, or he'll hurt us."

"Well, I swear that I won't let anypony hurt you." Fluttershy promised. "Nopony deserves to be hurt by a bully. I remember when I was, and I didn't like it one bit!"

For once, it seemed the kid smiled. "Okay, he trusts all of you, so I guess I can too! Let's go, Odara will think I caught you!" She's always nice, maybe she will help you too!"

We all seemed to sigh at that. "Let us hope so little one. Tell us, you seem different from other thoughts. Are you one of the four?"

He nodded. "I am, but you'll see me last because I'm the first."

"First as in what?"

Applejack's eyes widened then teared up. "Oh my...dear Celestia..."

"I am."

"You're his pain?"

"I am all of it." He replied. "But lets go see my sister."

"Tell us your real name?"

"Later, my sister will see you now." Soaring Rower replied. He took a black stick from his leg and held it out to show us. "This is called a 'drive bar'. There are three different modes. How would you like to get there. Light Wings, Light Cycle, or Light Stream."

"Ah don' wanna go fly'n now. What's a Light Cycle? Ah wanna hear 'bout that?"

"Cycle!" Soaring said loudly and threw the bar in front of him. From it lighter blue lines, nearly white turned into a black and blue bike looking bike thing. "This is a Light Cycle. Odara likes technology, and likes the movie Tron."

"Michael told me about those, it's like moving pictures and sounds come from it." I explained. "So what's this do?"

"It moves along really fast." He replied. "He likes them too, he likes all kinds of machines. They like him too, tell him how they feel. Let's get going before Odara begins to fight back, and she doesn't like to fight at all."

Luna threw the bar, followed by the rest of us. They looked a little different from Soaring Rower's cycle, but I guessed they were made with us in mind. "Let us get going now." Luna ordered.

"Push forward to move." Soaring leaned forward and flew off down the path that seemed to keep going straight.

Applejack shook her head and laughed. "Ah hope Equestria don' go that way. Ah like it right were it's at."

"Tia would agree with you, but I think it is amazing." Luna smiled, and pushed on. I whistled and the rest of us laughed in surprise.

The wind pushed against us, it felt so amazing. The pulsing was harder as the closer we got to Odara, or at least I think. Happily, the ride seemed to end just as quick. We saw that Soaring had parked his bike outside of a massive tower. He told us he had to go, and that Odara was waiting for us.

We gave our thanks to him, the quest to aid our friend was just about half over. Inside we stepped into a room. It pushed up on our hooves just as we began to rise up above the cuboid clouds. I scratched my nose and Luna seemed to look rather tense.

You four are unexpected yet expected I heard a voice ring through my head. A set of doors opened on their own revealing a massive room with a human figure standing in the center.

The room had four massive screens all showing different clips of what looked to be memories. The human in the center looked at all of them, studying them closely.

I would give you a warm welcome ponies, but I do not have the ability to give you my emotions, since I have none.

"Are you Odara?" Fluttershy asked, taking the lead. "W-we came-"

To aid him? The one who created us?..... There was a long silence as the mare looked over at us and away from the screens. You wish to help, but instead you break into his mind. A crime I believe anywhere there is law. Equestria does have law, doesn it not?

"It does, but Michael is hurting. Please..." Luna asked.

The mare shook her head. No, I cannot help you all, for I have no reason. In order to find such a way to assist you, would be to defile the very code I am written by. I am his only way of keeping the memories that built his character. Odara stepped closer, but was pulled back by giant wires. See? I cannot move from here.

"Odara? Can you show me the memory where Michael saved me from Tirek's blast?" I asked. "If you show me this, we'll leave."

Your mind lies in truth, but I shall show you. Odara waved her hand and a smaller screen moved up to us.

Through the screen they watched as Michael looked out a window, they guessed it was his bedroom's. Outside he saw a giant monster fighting the newly crowned princess Twilight. He gasped at the sight of Twilight being blown back through a mountain. Swearing to himself, he had to do something to help.

Most of the ponies he knew by now where already drained of their magic, but the monster didn't know Michael had some of his own. The magic he had was unlike any other unicorn or even an alicorn could ever hope to obtain. Spirit Magic, or that was what Zecora had described it to be. It was the use of the very life force that allowed him to live each day. Through many days of practice before and after his trip to Equestria had brought him even closer to his true self.

With Spirit Magic, the use of one's spirit to manipulate the energy, the living energy that was all around. It could never kill, but it was powerful. Many would ask what is more powerful than an atomic bomb? The answer would be the soul. The soul was the most powerful essence anything could obtain. Harnessing the power of the soul, there are six primal paths one could follow. The first four would be the four elements of nature; fire, earth, water, and air. The other two is order and chaos. At most a living being could harness two, maybe three if they had mastered it. Any more and the soul would be too split to hold itself together.

Michael as a young child was born as a pyromaniac. When he was five, he burned his family's back porch, and later in his life before he went to Equestria, he lit a bonfire with a flame thrower. Since then, he practiced the path of fire as well as the path of order. With this, he could truly look outside the box of the uses of fire. In Equestria, he found that magic was much easier to use, he didn't need to find out why because it was already explained that Equestria had magic out the ass.

So Michael ran down stares and grabbed his outlet, which was what he used to manifest his magic. A long staff he carved from a tree branch and placed a large stone of peridot which was his birthstone. The staff was about four feet long and a half inch think. In a spiral from the top where the stone rested to the bottom, a single line of runes, and in them the name he took from a dream he had. The name is what he used as his Spirit Name, a name that he only entrusted to those he cared about.

Through the screen they saw him whisper, but couldn't hear the words. Looking back out the door, he studied if the area was safe to traverse. They watched as he stepped over the fallen's bodies, and each time he did, the screen seemed to get redder in tint. They could feel his anger and disgust to the monster who called himself Tirek.

He ran into Rarity's boutique and opened the cellar door. Sweetie Belle and the other crusaders were huddled together in fear.

"Michael!" They cheered.

"Sshhhh!" He hissed through his teeth and closed the door. Sweetie Belle was able to make an orb of light from her horn. "Sweetie Belle, I'm looking for my robe, do you know where it is?"

"You mean the thing Rarity has been working over three months on?" She asked. When Michael nodded, so did she. "I do! It's in her room in a box under her bed!"

Michael hugged the fillies tight and smiled. "You three stay hidden okay? Do that, and I'll buy you ice cream when this is all over. Deal?"

"DEAL!" They cried in joy.

"Good, thanks again Sweetie Belle!"

Michael returned from the cellar and looked for the stairs. Some of them were broken from the blasts, but he was able to climb up the railing. After nearly falling a few times, he managed to make his way to Rarity's room.

He stepped over some fallen bed posts and moved the broken bed frame. Under it was a small box with a lock on it. He snapped it off with ease and opened the box. Inside was a dark red robe with gold trimmings. On the back was a patch that was a shield. The patch said "Unbound, Unbent, and Unbroken". With a smile he flipped it over and saw the main pieces he was looking forward to.

Right over where his heart would be was a patch that looked like the Compass Sun, and on each side of his chest there were four runes that gave the whole robe protection from the elements, they were made of gold colored silk. He threw it on and felt the power inside him grow. Even though they couldn't see his face, they knew he was smiling. Nearly six thousand bits to make, and over a year of waiting, he found that it was done. Everything he had asked for, paid for, it was worth it. It felt so right to wear, the monitors around them were getting readings of Michael having a high from the feeling it brought him.

As soon as he realized there was a battle going on outside, he rushed out, and jumped over a few missing stairs from the most resent blast of energy. There was still a large amount of energy radiating off the land scars. Michael's heart rate picked up as he tried to keep his breath calm. He was feeling all sorts of negative emotions to his failure such as worry, and sadness.

Because Tirek was so massive now from dying out everypony, Michael could see him from a mile away. He had only one shot it seemed. Twilight was standing under him, crying as she tried to hold off Tirek. She was covered in bruises and, bleeding from her snout and other parts of her body. Everypony inside winced as they watched the recalled memory. Behind Tirek floating in yellow tinted bubbles were his friends. Rage fired forth fusing with his energy and replacing all other emotions. Hurt and broken friends including Discord, who was the only other being that knew of his conditions-not by his part mind you.

"Ego euocare deabusque ignis et ordinem!" He shouted the few words of Latin from Earth he remembered as he neared Twilight, only a football field's distance away. His staff grew to life with energy, over flowing even with red and gray light. "Please ut homines salute!" As he landed in front of Twilight, Michael slammed his staff onto the earth soon as a great wall of fire spewed forward and attacked Tirek. "NOW!"

In a bight flash everything had ended and so did the memory...

Till Next Time