An Autobiographical History

I suppose that since I intend this to be mainly published in Equestria, no offence meant to the nations of readers from elsewhere, that most of you will have absolutely no idea who I am. I think, therefore, that the beginning of this whole thing should be an origin story of sorts, maybe with a prologue or the first couple of chapters about my true home, then the rest of the first half about the whole rise to power thing, then going over what I did when I got there, then ending with a short thing on plans for the future and the like. So, here goes nothing.

Chapter One: Origins

It all begin on a another world. This is a concept that will surprise pretty much all of you, unless this is somehow being read by one of those god-like beings this world has quite a few of that know of other worlds and the like. In fact, I suspect that it is most likely that I am from another universe entirely, seeing as how physics works rather differently here. It is, in fact, a remarkable stroke of luck that I am able to even exist properly here, let alone survive. Of course, the strangeness gets stranger when it turned out that your world, while real to you, is a work of fiction in mine. A particularly popular one, as well.

Some of the more scientifically-minded of you might be wondering how my world actually works and the like, so I'll give you a quick run-down, and you can write to me with further queries. I am from a planet uncreatively named 'Earth', home to around seven billion of my species, Homo sapiens, or 'wise man'. We're a pretty homogenous lot compared to some of this world's species, all with a similar body type and with skin that is pretty much just lighter and darker variations on a single uninteresting colour, unless we git hit by one of a myriad of diseases that float about everywhere.

We are also without any magic, it being relegated to the world of fiction. This means that our technology has developed along a much neater curve that among the magically-gifted species of this world, becoming better than magic in some places and worse than it in others, though unfortunately one of the areas in which we are well versed is destruction, with a single man and a couple of buttons away from the end of the word. Of course, the upshot is that, due to a concept known as mutually assured destruction, or, appropriately, MAD, many consider a large war against any nation in ownership of such weaponry to be an impossible-to-consider idea on any large scale, since a massive war means that any response and subsequent counter-response would deliver enough material to wipe out pretty much our entire species, from the leftover toxic material if not from the initial strikes themselves. This, of course, hasn't stopped military action altogether, and around the time I left, some had raised the idea that the planet always had an armed conflict going on somewhere.

This makes my world sound like some sort of vision of Tartarus, and for many it very likely was, but for those that got by, we had it good. With instant information exchange across the globe, and computing technology at the point where a device smaller than the average book could hold more information than any library, and we were getting close to figuring out many of the workings of the universe. Nowhere near manipulating them, but it was certainly a series of steps in that direction. We could go to sleep in one place and be on the other side of the world before we woke up, travelling at speeds thought impossible only a century ago. Unfortunately for the ambitions of people like me, space had somehow become old hat, and we hadn't gone further than hopping about on our own moon, and that was about sixty or so years before I left, and it had only gotten worse since then, with programs getting less and less funding and scientists sitting around watching mostly boring feedback on banks of monitors waiting for that one time something interesting would happen, like when we found a cloud of booze almost three hundred million miles across, or that one solar system that looks like a giant eye, or get to use words like 'maser' or 'dark energy'. Most of the time my lot spend their time sitting around being horrible to one another and getting the entire planet progressively more messed up.

I suppose it's time to go on about how I got here, isn't it. That, however, is just over the page, so I'll see you there.