An Autobiographical History

by singuycalc

Rating: teen
Tags: Human
Length: 1392

The authorised history of the most wondered about Griffonian citizen in centuries, laid out for all to see

For many years, people of all kinds have wondered about me, the mysterious leader of Cyberdyne Technologies, the leader in the development of many fields of science, and an extremely secretive being who has never before revealed himself to anyone except a select few, now bares all in this revelatory text.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-24 10:00:45 UTC

An Introduction

I suppose that since I intend this to be mainly published in Equestria, no offence meant to the nations of readers from elsewhere, that most of you will have absolutely no idea who I am. I think, therefore, that the beginning of this whole thing should be an origin story of sorts, maybe with a prologue or the first couple of chapters about my true home, then the rest of the first half about the whole rise to power thing, then going over what I did when I got there, then ending with a short thing on plans for the future and the like. So, here goes nothing.

Chapter One: Origins

It all begin on a another world. This is a concept that will surprise pretty much all of you, unless this is somehow being read by one of those god-like beings this world has quite a few of that know of other worlds and the like. In fact, I suspect that it is most likely that I am from another universe entirely, seeing as how physics works rather differently here. It is, in fact, a remarkable stroke of luck that I am able to even exist properly here, let alone survive. Of course, the strangeness gets stranger when it turned out that your world, while real to you, is a work of fiction in mine. A particularly popular one, as well.

Some of the more scientifically-minded of you might be wondering how my world actually works and the like, so I'll give you a quick run-down, and you can write to me with further queries. I am from a planet uncreatively named 'Earth', home to around seven billion of my species, Homo sapiens, or 'wise man'. We're a pretty homogenous lot compared to some of this world's species, all with a similar body type and with skin that is pretty much just lighter and darker variations on a single uninteresting colour, unless we git hit by one of a myriad of diseases that float about everywhere.

We are also without any magic, it being relegated to the world of fiction. This means that our technology has developed along a much neater curve that among the magically-gifted species of this world, becoming better than magic in some places and worse than it in others, though unfortunately one of the areas in which we are well versed is destruction, with a single man and a couple of buttons away from the end of the word. Of course, the upshot is that, due to a concept known as mutually assured destruction, or, appropriately, MAD, many consider a large war against any nation in ownership of such weaponry to be an impossible-to-consider idea on any large scale, since a massive war means that any response and subsequent counter-response would deliver enough material to wipe out pretty much our entire species, from the leftover toxic material if not from the initial strikes themselves. This, of course, hasn't stopped military action altogether, and around the time I left, some had raised the idea that the planet always had an armed conflict going on somewhere.

This makes my world sound like some sort of vision of Tartarus, and for many it very likely was, but for those that got by, we had it good. With instant information exchange across the globe, and computing technology at the point where a device smaller than the average book could hold more information than any library, and we were getting close to figuring out many of the workings of the universe. Nowhere near manipulating them, but it was certainly a series of steps in that direction. We could go to sleep in one place and be on the other side of the world before we woke up, travelling at speeds thought impossible only a century ago. Unfortunately for the ambitions of people like me, space had somehow become old hat, and we hadn't gone further than hopping about on our own moon, and that was about sixty or so years before I left, and it had only gotten worse since then, with programs getting less and less funding and scientists sitting around watching mostly boring feedback on banks of monitors waiting for that one time something interesting would happen, like when we found a cloud of booze almost three hundred million miles across, or that one solar system that looks like a giant eye, or get to use words like 'maser' or 'dark energy'. Most of the time my lot spend their time sitting around being horrible to one another and getting the entire planet progressively more messed up.

I suppose it's time to go on about how I got here, isn't it. That, however, is just over the page, so I'll see you there.

Pathing Issues

Chapter 2: How I Actually Got Here In The First Place

It was a windy autumnal morning, roughly in the middle of a month we call October. I was taking the train back to the university after visiting my parents for a weekend, listening to my music while reading one of the numerous textbooks that I had packed into my bags, as I had to study for my degree in, essentially, the design of spacecraft. It was coming up to the final semester of the course, and all in all it was going rather well.

That, of course, was when it happened. I don't know what it was exactly, but it began with a feeling of unease and a tingling in my extremities. Everything began to feel strangely floaty , before a wall of some sort of golden light ripped through the carriage. The windows shattered inwards, shards of whatever they're made of ripping through the air, tearing clothing and flesh alike. The carriage was just settling back down, before it was ripped into the air, twisting and rolling as it went. As I turned in mid air, I could see the ground rushing up to meet us through the holes that used to be windows, my phone just starting to play Mad World by Gary Jules, and I'm pretty sure that my last thoughts before everything went black were something along the lines of 'Huh. How appropriate'

To this day I still have no idea what actually happened back then, but having tried all I can to research the phenomenon, the closest I have come is old local legends, that talk of giant monsters falling from a sky burning gold, which sounds similar to how I got here, but I am still no closer to understanding it, let alone fabricating a way to return home. At least I got stuck somewhere nice, if a bit windy. Back to the story, then.

I awoke, bleary-eyed and confused, head driving me crazy with pain, writhing on the ground, on what I first thought was some sort of road or path, as I could feel gritty rock under me and could see nothing but fuzzy grey, with some tiny specks of green. As my vision gradually cleared, however, I realised that I instead appeared to be in a small crater in the surface of some sort of high mountain-side path, just wide enough that I hadn't fallen down the terrifyingly deep valley alongside.

Scrambling to my feet, I looked around in panic, based on the principle that when you survive a train crash in a bit of English countryside, you're supposed to stay in the English countryside. It was at the point when I was getting desperate enough to start pleading at the sky that I saw a flipping great city perched atop the mountain's peak, the path spiralling up to meet a set of large doors. Overwhelmed with happiness at the thought of shelter and rescue, and scolding myself for having not immediately having noticed a bloody great city right next to me, I began the run up the mountain. Said run then immediately collided face-first with the mountain when I tripped over something else I should have noticed - my backpack. Scolding myself for being an unobservant idiot once again and still not wondering how in the hell the backpack and I got here in the first place, I quickly packed away the couple of loose books strewn around, set the pack on my back, and started back up the path.