Chapter 13
One Stubborn Mare

(Dante POV)

I wrapped my towel around my waist before walking back into the spa room, where Rarity was nowhere to be seen. I shrugged it off and went back to the changing rooms, got dressed and walked into the lobby where I saw her waiting outside. I kicked open the door, stretching, only to find that my joints weren’t popping anymore.

“YEAH!” I screamed in blissful relief, “DOWNWARD FUCKING DOG!”

My echoed screams caused the other ponies on the block to stop and stare at me in confusion. I put my arms down, chuckling sheepishly.

“Sorry,” I gingerly said, “I’m just relieved that the treatment worked.”

The other ponies rolled their eyes and went on their merry way. I looked around for Rarity, only to have her sneak up on me.

“Oh, there you are, darling,” Rarity called out to me, “I guess the treatment worked out okay?”

“Twins, Rarity, Twins,” I nonchalantly said.

“I’m glad. So where to for lunch?”

“Where’s the place you usually go to?” I asked, considering I have little to no knowledge of this town.

“Oh, there’s this lovely little place called the Ponyville Cafe; you should really try their tea.”

“Lead the way.”

We set off for the Cafe, me following behind her to take mental notes on which routes to take in worst case scenarios (and to get a good glimpse of DAT ASS).

“So, it sounded you enjoyed the treatment,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows. I blushed, considering the fact that my session was a tad bit noisy.

“Do they do that to all V.I.P.s?”

“Not really,” she explained, “They usually massage the genitals of their V.I.P.s; just to relieve tension and frustration in those areas. They seemed to take a shining to you.”

‘Oh, there was a lot more than shined; believe me.’

“I found it kind of strange that they would immediately ask me of the treatment; it doesn’t seem they would recommend that sort of thing to just anypony.”

“Maybe it was because you took down a menacing demon last night that almost wrecked the town square.”

I nodded in agreement with her theory; mares don’t usually throw themselves at you just because you have a few extra bits. Most of the town did witness my capabilities, so I would get why a few mares would be swept off of their hooves like that.

We eventually made it to the Cafe, with many tables open to boot.

“And here we are,” she said, gesturing to the humble business, “Good place for some food, is it not?”

“I’ll say.”

“Come on; I’ll get us a table.”

As soon as she started trotting across the street, I felt a vibration in the ground. It wasn’t until the ground started shaking more violently was where I could pinpoint where it was coming from and my eyes grew wide as a result. My fears were confirmed when Rainbow zipped by.

“STAMPEDE!” she screamed.

I saw a large herd of cows running closer and closer to where I stand. I quickly looked over to Rarity who was about halfway across the road. I made a beeline straight for her towards the other end. I dove into her and aimed for the closest table with my back. The moment we made it into the closest table, we barely missed the herd by inches. She climbed off my chest, stood up and surveyed the damage the herd did.

“WHAT THE HAY WAS THAT!?” she yelped.

“HOW WOULD I KNOW!?” I protested, pushing myself to my feet, "I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS TO HAPPEN!”

“Thank you, by the way; I would’ve been a pancake if you hadn’t acted like you did!”

“I feel more bad about the table I broke and getting your dress messed up.”

“My dress is all dirty,” she complained, running her fingers across the fabric.

“Sorry; I tried to break your fall as best as I could. You’re not hurt are you?”

“No; I’m right as rain, darling.”

Our awe was broken by a small dog running towards the herd, barking. It was a Border Collie with brown and white fur. When the rumbling started to fade, we spotted Applejack not too far behind.

“GET ‘EM WINONA!” she shouted.

Curious on how this fiasco will play out, I left Rarity where she was and went after Applejack, but Rarity’s voice stopped me.

“Dante! Where are you going!?”

“I wanna help Applejack sort this out before things get messy, we’ll have tea together sometime later!”

I left the cafe to pursue the out of control herd. Judging where this herd was going, they seemed to be beelining straight towards the town hall. I had to help stop this now. As I passed Applejack while under Devil Trigger, I activated Quicksilver after shifting back to my human form.

The moment I got on top of the front cow’s back, I ran out of demonic magic and time resumed to normal, throwing me off.

“OH SHIIIIIII-!”

I got thrown off the cow’s back, plummeting into the middle of the herd. My arms, head, back, and legs were stomped on, kicked and crunched while I was rolling on the ground by the other cows. While I can regenerate the injuries almost instantly, they still hurt like hell. After the last one kicked me in the nose, I skidded to a stop, face down in the dirt.

I looked up to see Applejack and the dog successfully steering the herd of steers away from town hall and stopping their rampage.

“DANTE!” I heard Pinkie’s scream reach out from the ringing in my ears and the cheers of ponies that witnessed the herd rounding a mile away. Pinkie rushed over to help me up and dust off my jacket.

“Are you okay, Danni?”

Without thinking, I rambled off like a crazy conspiracy nut.

“I can take on countless waves of demons, castle guards, megalomaniac tyrants and colossal beasts, but I get trampled by a herd of fucking bovines; I’M FINE!”

My yelling made her stumble back a bit and after calming down, I put a hand on the startled mare’s shoulder.

“Sorry; I’m just having a rough week and it was immature to have vented the way I did.”

“It’s okay; you seemed to be in a doozy of pain, but you’re built like a Hearth’s Warming Fruitcake.”

“Still, what the hell caused that stampede to begin with!?”

“Well, let’s meet up with the others, Rarity’s wondering if you’re okay.”

“Lead the way, Miss Pie,” I gestured ahead of me.

We made our way over to the other side of the square where the ponies are still celebrating Applejack’s successful roundup. Good thing they didn’t witness my round-fuck up. We met up with the rest of the group where Rarity ecstatically rushed over to me.

“Darling! What happened to you!?” she yelled, “Your coat is all ruined.”

“Eh, it’s like this in every outing. Getting trampled and kicked in the nose by a bunch of bovines does that to ya.”

“Oh, that’s awful! Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“Rarity, I’m fine. Let’s just relax. The Cows are gone, nopony's hurt; that's all that matters.”

“Evening,” Twilight pointed out at the setting sun.

“How long was I in that Spa!?”

“Obviously ‘mingling’ with the twins there,” Rainbow teased, forcing a blush on my face.

“Rainbow!” Rarity scolded, “I told you not to brag about his private session!”

“Oops,” she gingerly cupped her hands over her mouth, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay; I screamed ‘downward dog’ and made an ass of myself.”

“But you’re a Demi-demon, not a Donkey,” Pinkie pointed out the obvious, prompting me to facepalm my previously broken nose.

The small talk ended when the mayor went over to us. I wiped the blood from my nose and stood there with my arms crossed.

“What Applejack did was splendid,” she smiled, “We should think of a way to thank both of Applejack and you, Dante.”

“Me?” I asked, confused, “But I thought you already did.”

“We should hold a party in Applejack and Dante’s honor!” Pinkie suggested.

“Good idea, Pinkamena,” the Mayor beamed, “We’ll arrange the celebration for both Applejack and you at the end of the week; so prepare a speech!”

“Speeches? I do improv, Mayor; I won’t memorize cue cards.”

“Even so, you all have a very nice evening.”

We all said our goodbyes and went our separate ways with me and Twilight heading back to the library.

(Third Person POV)

Hidden in the trees, a lone stallion sat in the foliage, scouting the Devil Hunter with binoculars. The stallion wore black robes with a grey flame in the center. The hood was draped over his head where his muzzle only stuck out in a pale white color. He pulled out a cellphone and dialed a number. When the receiver clicked, a raspy voice was heard.

“Yes, what is it!?”

“I’ve found him.”

“The Son of Sparda.”

“Should I assassinate him now?”

“NO! Return to base, immediately; we have much to plan and discuss.”

“As you wish.”

He closed the call, slipping back into the forest, gone without a trace.

ONE WEEK LATER…

The Devil Hunter stood by the side of the town hall, waiting for Twilight. He looked around as the last touches of the decorations of the square were put in place. The colors of the ribbons and balloons were a mix of orange and red; Applejack’s and Dante’s colors respectively. He watched as Rarity levitated the banner over the top of the double doors and fastened them with red ribbons.

The posh mare noticed the devil hunter lounging and decided to prance over to him.

“Good Morning, darling,” she chimed, “It’s strange to see you up and about at this hour.”

“That’s because I didn’t drink last night,” he chuckled. She was stunned by his sudden un-Dante behavior.

“Strange, I’ve heard that you usually drink yourself to sleep on most nights.”

“Well, when the job I have involves hunting monsters up to 50 times your size and trying in vain to keep some ponies out of the crossfire, it’ll take a toll on your sanity at times.”

“I understand,” she said, slightly melancholic, “I wouldn’t know how to handle myself if I were in your boots.”

“Well,” he said, stretching his arms in different directions, “At least nothing happened in the last few days, so there’s a bonus.”

“Anyways, what did you do with the reward money Mayor Mare gave you?”

“Spent half of it on a shitload of pizza, booze, and donations to Twilight’s library,” he stated nonchalantly with a straight face.

“Happy to see you’re using most of your money for something that matters.”

“Yeah, sorry for leaving you there at the cafe the other day,” he meekly mentioned, “I still feel like an ass about that.”

“You shan’t need to apologize like that,” she retorted, throwing the devil hunter off balance, “Applejack appeared in need of aid and you rushed in to help...or at least tried to.”

“Yeah,” he said with a quick laugh, “I still need to perfect my techniques, considering I’m back to square one in terms of combat.”

“Well you shouldn’t push yourself too hard; I don’t think the Princesses will take it very well if you got hurt or worse.”

“Anyway,” his voice trailed off, his face got all flushed giving Rarity a confused look, “Would you like to...try...the...d-date...again?”

Deeply flattered by his shy approach, Rarity calmly pulled him into a gentle embrace; her head turned and nestled against his chest.

“You’re so sweet, darling,” she cooed, “Let’s try it again next week.”

They both heard Twilight clearing her throat and immediately broke the hug.

“Careful on how you act towards Rarity, Dante,” She warned him, “Spike’s a teensy-weensy jealous when it comes to her.”

“I know; but if it should ever come to that, I will have to give him a little talk about it.”

“Just be sure to let him down easily, though; the last thing I want is an angry dragon burning up the place.”

“Noted, so...what kind of speech have you written for the celebration? I overheard you talk about it to Spike a couple of days ago.”

“It’s just the basics; just a recap of what you two did to save the town and future events coming up.”

He smiled and gave a thumbs up to the unicorn.

“I bet you reread and rehearsed it the day before.”

She gingerly nodded. A crowd of ponies started to arrive in small numbers and she took notice to it.

“Well, it’s about to start,” she pointed out, “Best to get into place now.”

“I’m all set, is AJ all ready to go?”

“Actually,” Rainbow said, floating into the conversation, “I haven’t seen her all week, but I know that she’ll be never late!”

‘Don’t jinx it Rainbow,’ Dante looked at her with some concern while walking up to the side of the stage.

A few more minutes of stalling has passed by until the whole square was filled with the townsfolk. Twilight eagerly walked towards the podium with an unusually large stack of cue cards suspended by her magic. She hovered the top card over to her to start the speech.

“Welcome everypony!” she began, “Today we are here to honor the heroic deeds done by two amazing individuals! One with matters no matter how big and small and the other saving our lives from the Ursa Minor. A pony and human who-”

Rainbow Dashed over to the podium, interrupting Twilight’s speech.

“Did you see the moves both Applejack and Dante did!? They’re such athletes! This week AJ is going to help me and Dante with our new flying tricks and it’s going to be so AWESOME!”

Twilight pushed Rainbow out of the way to continue her speech before Pinkie Pie shows up out of nowhere from behind the podium like a whack-a-mole to give her two bits.

“Applejack is one of the best bakers in Equestria and Dante is SO eager to learn about baking that he’ll help out as well, so...FREE SAMPLES FOR EVERYPONY!”

The crowd cheered at her triumphant announcement, Dante stood there, dumbfounded by her sudden choice.

‘I never said that I wanted to learn how to bake; I’ll have to think a way out of this one...maybe the old shit-trick will do. I just have to eat a few laxatives, so Pinkie won’t pick up on my BSing.’

“Okay,” Twilight said with a clear of the throat, “As I was trying to say without getting inter-”

She was cut off by Fluttershy gently taking the podium before the annoyed Lavender Unicorn finished her sentence.

“-rupted.”

“Did you know that Dante has a sensitive side to him and he’ll help me along with Applejack in the annual bunny census? It’s always the cutest thing when baby animals like to snuggle with you.”

Twilight stood there, staring at Fluttershy until she noticed the hint in her eyes and backed down.”

She cleared her throat again and spoke in a more annoyed tone.

“Anypony else? Anypony else that would like to throw in their two bits?”

She looked into the crowd, each one of them shrugged with nopony having anything else to add.

“Okay, so-”

Her voice trailed off when she saw the Mayor next to her smiling.

“FFFFFFFFFFFFF-!” she cut herself off and took a second before regaining composure and tossing the stack of cue cards to the side, “Well, that looks like everypony said what I was already going to say, so...that is my time.”

She walked over to the devil hunter and leaned her back against the wall, arms crossed and furrowing her brow at the Mayor.

“So, without further ado, I feel privileged to award two Ponyville’s Prized Pony awards two Applejack and Dante Sparda!”

The Hybrid walked over to the podium while everyone gasped at the empty space where the curtains were supposed to reveal Applejack.

‘DAMMIT RAINBOW! YOU JINXED IT!’

Everypony in the crowd and the girls looked around, but the farm mare was nowhere to be seen. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Dante felt a familiar smell of apples slap him in the nose.

“I’M HERE!” Applejack groggily cried out from the other side of the square. She stumbled through the crowd, yawning and bumping into other ponies. She eventually made it to the stage. There were dark rings around her heavy eyes. She still had her satchels of apples full to the brim and leaking out some juice. Her clothes were dirty with juice stains in multiple spots.

“Miss Mare!” she shouted, “It’s mighty kind of ya to give me...this...award-thingy.”

She had trouble keeping her balance from looking at the golden trophy.

“It’s always nice to help the...pony folk...and stuff,” she said before her head hung low and drifted off to sleep, only to wake seconds later shaking herself awake, “Thanks...and stuff.”

She quietly lifted the trophy up over her shoulders and carried it with her through the crowd, which made a decent-sized gap so none of them would be hit by the trophy.

“So,” Dante said, “Did anypony notice that AJ was a tad bit-?”

“Tired?” Twilight pointed out.

“Exhausted?” Fluttershy added.

“Drunk?” Rainbow stated before the other girls shot her a mean look, “What? You got your version; I got mine,” she defended herself, armed crossed.

“Come with me, Dante,” Twilight suggested, “We got to see what is going on over at the farm.”

“Right behind ya,” he smiled before leaving the square for Sweet Apple Acres.

They arrived at the farm to see Applejack’s busy moment. It was evident that she was up for days harvesting fruit. She wobbled over to a tree full of ripe apples and kicked them off. She stumbled again before missing the tree and kicking one of the buckets over. She lost balance and fell on her ass, lulling herself to sleep.

“Applejack,” Twilight called, with the sleepy farmer with no response, “Applejack!”

“Please,” Dante implored, walking over to the sleeping mare, “Allow me.”

He unholstered Ivory and pointed it up into the air.

*BANG!!!*

The gunshot woke the mare into a panicky frenzy.

“Wha-what just happened!?” she slowly asked, “Oh, howdy Twi, Dante.”

“What is all this?” Twilight asked.

“Applebuck Season,” she simply answered before stumbling over to the next tree.

“Sounds like you got plenty of time to harvest all the apples; you can take breaks, you realize that, right?”

“We only got a short time befur the apples go bad on the trees.”

“But why are you doing this all alone?”

“Big Mac hurt his back durin harvestin time, so I’m on all mah on.”

Dante stepped in front of the apple farmer, stopping her in her tracks.

“Can’t we help?”

She scoffed at his offer.

“No way! No how!”

“But you look way out of it,” he protested, “There’s no way you can harvest all of this on your own.”

“Is that a challenge!?” she growled, getting in front of his face, “I’m gunna prove to y’all that I can harvest it all on mah on!”

She stomped off, back to her dizzy boxing method of harvesting fruit. He shook his head and left in a rage. Twilight soon followed after looking at the dizzy mare one more time.

Dante arrived by the fence where Rainbow Dash waited. She was tapping her hoof on the post of the fence, annoyed and bored by the waiting.

“Hey Dante, you waiting for Applejack too?”

“I was at the orchard; she doesn’t look good.”

“Eh, she’s tough; built like a steel beam,” she explained, “She’s handled things like this all the time; you need more faith in her.”

“I think you’re right, but I’m starting to have my doubts.”

Applejack arrived and skidded to a halt. Rainbow leaped off the wooden beam and landed near her.

“There you are!”

“I’m mighty sorry Rainbow, but I was busy buckin Apples and I stopped to close my eyes and when I woke up, I was late. So what’s this trick you and Dante wanted to try?”

“Well,” Dash began, pointing to the wooden plank on top of a round rock, “You jump from this ladder onto the platform with the x on it, me and Dante will be standing on the other platform, the impact will launch us into the air where we’ll do some AMAZING tricks.”

“That seems a little dangerous.”

“Not for a pony and demon that can fly.”

“Alright, let’s get ready.”

Dante and Dash stood on the other platform while Applejack pushed the other side down.

“Uh, Applejack?” Dash furrowed her brow at her.

“Oh, yeah; sorry.”

She let go of the platform and both fell to the ground, knocking the devil hunter out. AJ climbed on top of the ladder and jumped off onto the platform, launching both of them into the air. Dash flew up into the sky whereas Dante went straight into the wall of the top floor of a house. The upper half of his body was wedged in the wall where his legs were dangling out of the house. The scream of a mare jolted him awake, making him realize that he’s in the same bathroom from when he fought the Ursa Minor.

“Sorry, again,” he blushed, “Can you help me out?”

The mare hopped out, the bubbles covered her body. She walks over to him and kicks him in the face, punting him out of the wall. He fell from the building and straight onto a hay cart, causing it to fall apart. The shocked pony pulling the cart looked in horror as he saw Dante sprawled out and covered in debris.

"Mr. Sparda! Are you alright!?" the middle aged stallion shouted.

“Hi, I'm Dante Sparda and you're watching Jackass,” he slurred in a concussed tone before passing out.

After waking up from his hour long concussion-induced nap, Dante arrived at Sugarcube Corner where the cakes left from the entrance.

“Hello, Dante!” Mr. Cake called out to him.

“Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Cake,” he said, “Where are you two going?”

“We got an order to fill from out of town, you here to help out Pinkie Pie and Applejack?”

“Sure, but,” he trailed off, clenching his gut, “I’m not feelin too well; I think that bad whiskey I drank is coming back to haunt me.”

“Stick to the Hard Apple Cider,” he explained, “Local brews don’t process their whiskey like the imports.”

“Point noted.”

After saying their goodbyes, the devil hunter sauntered over to the kitchen, his face getting all green.

“Hey, Danni!” Pinkie waved to him, “Grab an apron and let’s get started!”

Before he grabbed the apron on the hook, he stopped in his tracks and heard his stomach. The gurgles, growls, and groans ended with a small thump shaking him.

“Oh, shit,” he deadpanned.

“What?” Pinkie said.

“No, I mean MOVE; I GOTTA SHIT!”

He sprinted out of the kitchen into the lobby. He grabbed the service counter and vaulted over to the bathroom door.

(One Hour Later…)

He kicked open the door, buckling his belt.

‘That was almost as bad as that time I ate Chipotle with the hottest sauce they had.’

He slowly walked over to the kitchen where he smelt the aroma of finished muffins.

“Hey, Danni!” Pinkie Pie greeted, “Are you all better now?”

“Sorry I missed the show; got a stomach bug or something.”

“Maybe next time we’ll bake together.”

He then noticed the absence of Applejack in the room.

“Hey Pinks, where did AJ go?”

“She went back to the farm to harvest more apples.”

“Yeah, she’s been really hellbent on this year’s harvesting season.”

“Well, time to give out the samples! Are you coming along?”

“Not right now; I’m heading back to the library to catch up to some more Equestrian history.”

“Okie Doki Loki! Bye Danni!”

(Dante POV)

I left the bakery and went on my merry way. Still, I feel kind of bad for doing the old shit-trick, but today wasn’t the time. I pulled out my earbuds and hit play on my phone. The upbeat music kicked in and changed my stride. I am going to remember that time in the spa, as well as Luna’s first time, Clover’s Shamrock’s, a few maids, one of the Dazzlings and a makeout session with Celestia, but we never went all the way. Oh god, I wonder if she’s still a virgin after all these years...give it time, though; she might get jealous of her sister getting more “attention” from me than her.

‘All you had to do was ask, Dante,’ Celestia’s thought-speech interrupted my thoughts. My face grew flushed with red.

‘I hate it when you pop up like that, all of a sudden.’

‘That’s not the only thing you have popped.’

‘You watched me get it on with the spa twins, didn’t ya?’

She giggled with a slight sensual tone.

‘When you get back to Canterlot, be sure to give my sister a romantic night and…’

‘...and what? You want me to rut you too?’

‘I’ve thought about it long and hard (Giggity) and I think you are the only stallion I trust that will do such a thing.’

‘I’ll hold onto that thought, your Majesty.’

‘I’ll check on you later; love you.’

‘Love you too.’

That surprised the fuck out of me. She said she loved me? It seems only yesterday that she ordered her guards to put my head on a silver platter. I may sound like a broken record, but she’s grown in the last millennium. She’s now more of a motherly figure than a potential lover. (If you make an Oedipus Complex joke, I’ll fucking shank a bitch.) It’s something that I’ve needed over the course of my life so far.

I realized that I’m becoming more of a decent person after turning into Dante. Given the power of change to the right person can do good, I guess.

It seemed that the town was quiet enough, given the fact the celebration ended as abruptly as it started. Needless to say, but I’m used to getting my flow all fucked up. But that’s just the most minor of my many occupational hazards. Strangely enough, but I still haven’t gotten any requests on demonic forces. It makes things a little too quiet to my liking. Somehow, through the week, I had this funny feeling like somepony’s watching me. No, not the occasional gaggle of mares wanting my autograph, but somepony in the distance watching my every move. It could be the paranoia talking, but as history and about as much as memory serves, that mindset usually was right; I’d best keep my guard up.

I made it back to the library and locked my phone before entering my temporary slice of life. Spike was reading a Son of Sparda comic book, while Twilight was pacing around the main room, talking on the phone. She seemed tensed up by whatever news she got, but I’m sure it wasn’t anything pleasant.

“Dante!” she called out to me the moment she pocketed her phone, “I just got a call from Nurse Redheart; something went down at the sample stand.”

“Well let’s check it out,” I eagerly stated, “Call me crazy, but I think it’s gotta be Applejack-related.”

“I wouldn’t shuffle a hoof past that thought, SPIKE!”

He perched up from the sofa and ran over to her.

“What’s wrong, Twilight?”

“Something happened at the sample stand, Pinkie Pie sounds sick; we better get there, ASAP.”

“You read my mind.”

I made it to a green tent with a red plus on the top. I pulled open the opening where we saw multiple ponies on beds with cold packs on their foreheads and puke buckets at the side of each of them. We found Pinkie Pie at the bed on the far corner where she had her face in the bucket, heaving and spewing. The nurse came around the corner praising our arrival.

Nurse Redheart (Ashleigh Ball)

She wore a white nurse’s uniform with a red cross cap. She had white fur with a light pink mane tied up in a bun.

“Oh, thank you Twilight, Dante, we need all the help we can get!”

“Hold on,” I said, “Before we go any further, can you tell me what exactly caused all this?”

“It was a mishap involving some baked goods.”

I snapped my fingers at the revelation.

“That’s it! Twilight, Spike, you two stay here and help the Nurse with the sick ponies, I’m going to go and talk some sense into a certain somepony and...Spike, are you really eating those!?”

“What?” he muffled through a full mouth, “These things are amazing! You should try some!”

“Maybe later; I got some serious business to attend to.”

I swiftly left the medical ward tenet and ran off straight on the route to Sweet Apple Acres. I swear, Applejack’s really done it this time. She needs to take a nap or something, damn.

I made it to the farm where Applejack groggily backs a wagon down a small hill into a large bucket. The wagon tipped upwards where she fell asleep once more with her stuck in the harness. You know, she kind of reminds me of this one photo I saw back home with this donkey and…(DING) Oh, I can be such a dick sometimes.

I loudly cleared my throat to wake her up.

“Oh, hey Dante,” she mumbled, “ If yer wonderin about what I’m gonna say, the answer is NO!”

“But your grogginess is causing havoc across town! You’ve got to get some rest and the girls and I can help you with this.”

Her ears perked up and she freed herself from her harness.

“How many times do I have to say it!? N.O. spells NO!”

‘Jeez, have I really met somepony as stubborn as me!?’

‘What do you think, Mr. Whiskey?’

‘Tia, now’s not the time for a lecture.’

‘I think you’ve already answered your own question. Ta-ta for now.’

I shook my head and refocused on Applejack. I caught up with her and made another attempt to reason with her.

“Please, AJ; you’re WAY overworked, you’re not even halfway done and let’s not forget that YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE CURRENTLY DOING THIS!”

“I’m going to prove to you that you don’t need demon strength to harvest a whole orchard of apples.”

“This is too much strain on your body! I’ve seen farmers before taking matters into their own hands and end up-”

“Not another word,” she growled, “You can be on yer merry way and leave me be with what I need to get done!”

I held up a finger at her with my mouth opened, but nothing came out. I turned around and left her to her strenuous task. Goddamn, this is one stubborn mare.

I arrived at Fluttershy’s cottage to help her with the “Bunny Census.” What Twilight said was right. I may be an ass-kicking demon hunter with a fuckload of testosterone, but I like cute things, like rabbits (blow me).

I pounded on the door a couple times before a little white rabbit answered the door. He had that intelligent twinkle in his eye and he might understand me. I couched to his level to talk to him.

“Hey, little guy, do you know where Fluttershy is?” I politely asked, “I’m here to help her with the annual bunny census.”

He hopped up the stairs to get the shy pegasus, not breaking eye contact with me until he reached the top of the steps.

“Oh, what is it, Angel?” I heard her soft voice echoing from the distant room, “Oh? That must be Dante.”

The clunking of work boots revealed the shy pegasus.

Fluttershy (Andrea Libman)

Her pink flowing mane was tied back in a ponytail, leaving only her bangs to hang free. She wore a green tank top that revealed double d cleavage somewhat covered by an unbuttoned brown vest. Work gloves and blue jeans covered the rest of her figure with dirty work boots that could rival mine in weight.

“Hello, Dante,” she greeted with a small smile, “Shall we get started?”

“I’m ready when you are.”

“Just a moment, where’s Applejack?”

Oh, no; y’mean she’s going to help in her current state? This relaxing task might help her catch the z’s she needs, though.

“I’MA HERE!” AJ called out, slowly walking up to the front of the house, scaring most of the birds from their houses. Winona was seen trotting next to her.

“Applejack, please keep your voice down,” Flutters calmly scolded, “It’s not healthy for the animals to be scared like that.”

“Sorreh; A’hm just bushed is all.”

“In any case, follow me over here,” her wings quietly flapped in excitement.

“Just an FYI, AJ,” I said to her, “Rabbits are very timid animals; nothing like herding cattle.”

“Ya don’t need to tell me twice, right Winona?”

The dog barked in agreement.

I went over to Fluttershy and whispered to her.

“Are you’re sure she’s up to it?”

“Of course; I have complete faith in Applejack.”

“Are you really sure?” I pointed to Applejack and Winona chasing the rabbits into a corner, her yelling and the dog barking and growling.

“NOW, ALL OF Y’ALL ARE GOIN TO A CIRCLE OR AHM GETTIN MY LASSO!”

The rabbits screamed and scattered in different directions. I facepalmed, knowing what this approach led to.

“Fluttershy?” I asked, half-grinned. She turned to look at me in a concerning manor.

“Shit has hit the fan,” I deadpanned.

(Third Person POV)

Twilight left the library to investigate the loud rumbling that happened outside. Was it an earthquake? Was it a stampede like the previous week? She needed to know. She saw two of the three mares in the street help the third one up to her hooves. Twilight went over for some answers, having a funny feeling that this was Applejack-related.

“Um, what was the deal with that Earthquake?” she asked them.

“It was no earthquake!” one of them said.

“It was HORRIBLE!”

“The flowers, plants and gardens DEVOURED, by...by...THEM!” the frightened mare pointed to the rabbits munching on the carrots, lettuce and flowers. The unicorn runs over to the group of scared rabbits to look for Fluttershy and Dante. The animal handler was panicking and flying back and forth to get the rabbits out of the garden.

“No, little rabbits, nonono!” she pleaded, “Please don’t eat anymore!”

“Fluttershy!” she called out to her friend, “Where’s Dante?”

“He’s helping with damage control!” she hyperventilated, “He was right!”

“Right about what?” she asked before it dawned on her, “Wait, is it Applejack-related?”

The pegasus nodded. Twilight twitched in frustration, now looking for the demon hunter, only to find him power walking back to Fluttershy while covered in rabbits.

“There you are, Dante,” Fluttershy sighed in relief, “How did you get that many at once?”

“You simply need to lure them out of the gardens with carrots or lettuce.”

“Oh, why didn't I try that yet?”

“Dante,” Twilight called, “AJ has caused too much trouble; I’m putting my hoof down, you with me?”

“Let’s go,” he said, handing Fluttershy the rabbits.

Both went down the road to the farm to confront AJ. Fluttershy worried for her friend’s wellbeing but had to stay behind to round up the rest of the rabbits.

Applejack tiredly kicked the tree full of apples, only a few were falling at a time. Dante and Twilight marched up the hill to confront her about her refusal of her problem.

“Applejack,” Twilight called out to the mare, “Enough is enough.”

She gestured toward the devil hunter to give her the offer.

“Your harvestin has caused nothing but anarchy across the town,” he scolded, “Not only has it poisoned half the town, but it also injured Dash and me AND scared a herd of baby bunnies into eating more than half the gardens in the whole damn town. I honor your family way, but when you push yourself past your limits, you end up causing trouble not only for you but for the rest of us as well. I am going to help you rather you like it or not!”

The moment he finished his short speech, the last of the apples fell into the bucket, making AJ sigh in relief.

“Ha! I told you I can do it!” she boasted, “I harvested the entire farm on mah on!”

Out of nowhere, Big Mac loudly cleared his throat to get his sister’s attention.

“Uh, Lil sis?” he pointed out, “I think ya missed a spot.”

He pointed to the other section of the orchard where a good chunk of unharvested apples remained. The shock overwhelmed the farm mare to the point where she dropped on the ground, passing out from the impact.

“Don’t worry ‘bout mah Lil sis,” Big Mac explained, “This wasn’t the first time she tried to take a bite more than she could chew.”

“She’s ok, right? She’s not in any immediate danger?”

“Nope; just bushed. I kept tellin her not to stay up for days on end, but she insisted she didn’t need help.”

“Well, would you like mine and Twilight’s help?”

“Well, of course, I need ya help; my back still hurts and mah sister is out like a light. Apple Bloom is usually at school and Granny Smith’s gettin too old fer this sort of thing.”

“So you’re pretty much S.O.L. without our help.”

“Before you start helpin us, can you take AJ back to the farmhouse?”

“Of course,” he happily replied, picking up the farm mare and holding her bridal style. He followed Big Mac down the dirt trail.

“Now don’t get any funny ideas, now,” Mac looked at the devil hunter with a concerning look.

“Rule Number 5 of the 11 Satanic Rules of the Earth: Make no sexual advances unless given the mating signal.”

“I wish more stallions were like you; some are just too horny for their own good.”

“Heh, Earth was worse.”

His ears shot up and gave the hunter a look of surprise.

“Really? It’s that bad?”

Dante’s usual smirk dwindled at his past experiences on the taboo topic before his encounter with the merchant.

“Let’s just say that some humans preferred either a particular piece of ass or kill both.”

“Sounded like you saw a lot of blood back on Earth.”

“More than I liked to,” he sadly said.

“On to a different topic,” he said, “What’s with these ‘Satanic’ rules you just said about?”

“There was this group of people known as LaVeyan Satanists. They didn’t believe in any deity and only used my worst enemy as a metaphor.”

“They sound really out there.”

“Yeah, but they had a set of rules I agreed more with than any of the major religions back home.”

“Y’know,” Big Mac pointed out, looking at both Dante and his little sister, “You two ain’t so different.”

“Like I said, we both are similar in terms of stubbornness,”

“I just say determined, but I guess it’s the same thing.”

They finally arrived at the farmhouse where Dante set the apple farmer on the hammock. Big Mac placed her hat over her face to keep the sun out of her eyes when she wakes up.

“Thank you, Dante,” he smiled, “If possible, can you get yer friends on the horn to come down here and help us out? I’d very much appreciate it; especially Granny.”

“I’ll phone Rarity and Fluttershy,” Twilight offered, pulling out her phone to dial them.

“Then that leaves me to call Pinks and Dashie,” the devil hunter concluded, pulling out his phone and dialing Pinkie first.

“Hey, Danni! What’s up?” Pinkie asked.

“Applejack,” he simply stated.

“Say no more, Demoni-bro!”

*Click!*

He immediately phoned Rainbow Dash where she answered with the audible wind in the background.

“Dante!” she exclaimed, “What’s going on?”

“Take a wild guess…”

“Applejack? Okay; I’m on my way!”

*Click!*

He turned to Twilight who was already done phoning the others.

“Did you call Spike?” he asked.

“Yeah; everypony should be here soon.”

“And now we wait,” he joked.

Author's Note

Another Half-Life 3 length wait for another chapter.

The latest Blog post points to why the delay was in place.

Anyways, it's 2 A.M. at the time this was posted, so I'm going to get some sleep.

Up next is "Warming Up to AJ."

Edit: Added in a new joke to adhere to the Comedy tag. Hope it's funny for ya!