Author's Note

Sorry this took forever, but I had a fuckton of things I had to handle. I'm back and hopefully I won't hit a creative wall anytime soon. Until then, enjoy.

3-Stress Relief

Chapter 3
Stress Relief

(POV Dante)

I walked away from Luna, the memory of her betraying me and her exile still fresh in my mind. I made my way through the castle and to the front gates that were probably locked by Nightmare Moon. I kicked the massive wooden gates open, causing the metal locks on the gate to break and splinter off. The forest that surrounded the castle had really sprung up during my thousand-year stone nap. I really want to hurt something and might as well look around this massive forest to find some. Judging by most of the trees having vines around them and hearing many different kinds of animal cries and growls throughout, there are many hostile types of creatures in the thick of this place. I see a trail through the forest and some skills I need to brush up on, so it's time to start the party!

Mission 2-Road to Civilization
Follow the trail through the Everfree Forest

Funny how time flies. One second you were about to marry the most beautiful mare of the night, another second goes by, you're crossing blades with the same one. I took in the atmosphere around me as I ran down the trail. The wind blew through my white hair and chiseled face...feels like I put on a few pounds. If anypony put on some weight, It would definitely be Tia. She gotten very voluptuous the last time I saw her and her hair too. She used to be a skinny princess with pink hair, now she is definitely one cougar I could-. I should stop before Tia reads my mind and kick my ass again. Nothing turns me on like a mare that can kick my ass.

Oh how I missed this feeling; the feeling of danger, the feeling that you're being watched, the feeling of adrenaline when you're fighting a gnarly creature like a Hydra or a pack of Timberwolves or Manticores. Oh how I felt alive back in the day. I shook the thoughts from my head as I heard growling coming from the bushes down the side of the trail. I sensed glowing yellow eyes glare at me through the thick and leaped out onto the trail. I smiled, pulling out Ebony and Ivory and pointing them at the wooden wolves in my iconic pose, who now have surrounded me.

"Been awhile since I last seen you twigs" I quipped, moving my hand like a stereotypical mobster "Get lost before I turn all of you into firewood." The timberwolves got pissed and started circling around me. I have to say though, this new generation of wolves have balls, but no brains. I heard roaring and saw scorpion tails lash out at one of the wolves who weren't in the circle with me. Manticores; the fun just doesn't end around here in this forest. This whole thing will get ugly, but I like it when things get ugly; it helps me keep in shape.

BANG BANG BANG

Bullets struck one of the manticores on its body, causing it to cry out in pain. The timberwolves leaped at me in a slashing motion. I disappeared in a flash, causing them to crash into one another. I quickly holstered my guns and brought out Beowulf, the gauntlets attaching themselves to my arms and the boots to my own, a glow of white light surrounded them in a haze of light demonic energy. I flashed a toothy grin as I cracked my knuckles "Let's rock, baby!"

I spun around like a crack-happy ballerina, the wolves missed me by miles as I threw jabs left and right, each one of their bodies shattered into twigs and splinters. I sensed one of the manticores sneaking up on me and I spun around with my leg out, the heel of my foot digging into its stomach, sending it flying back into the middle of the forest. Only two left. Another pack of timberwolves leaped in out of nowhere and attacked the injured manticore. With the other manticore distracted, I kicked out its legs from under him while following up with a left hook to its face and finishing up with a right uppercut to send it flying into the air. I jumped up into the air up to its level and roundhouse kicked it in the face, sending it flying into the trees, hearing a crunch and splinter of a tree falling over from the impact. I gracefully got out Ebony and Ivory, aimed downwards to the Timberwolves and spun around, firing off a volley of bullets into the pack.

Many got torn apart by the metal cylinders, exploding out of the barrels. I landed on a dead wolf and looked around to see if any were still left alive. I looked off into the distance, seeing a new dozen running towards the trail of dead wood (Giggity) since I was standing on a Timberwolf carcass, I took the opportunity to do one of my trademarked moves: Wild Stomp. I kicked the ground, sending both me and the body sliding into the group. I spun the corpse around, firing off a rapid fire of bullets, striking most of the wolves. The body slid to a halt and I kicked it to the side, turning my attention to the rest of the wolves that were not struck by any of the stray bullets.

More Manticores broke out of the woodwork and pounced on the surviving wolves, ripping them apart limb by limb, sap-like blood spraying onto the trees and plants. It's convenient when my enemy is the enemy of my other enemy. While the wolves were distracted by the Manticores, I saluted them with my middle finger and snuck away from the riot and continued on the path through the forest.

Further down the trail, I came across a rushing river. I stood there confused, there used to be a bridge where the surface of the river was. The dam from upstream probably busted centuries ago. I noticed a purple-scaled water dragon sleeping in the middle of the river's surface. He had orange flowing hair and a bushy mustache and...wait; the right side of it is purple and curly. (This moment of Devils Never Cry is brought to you by, What in the Actual Fuck Inc.)

I had no idea what the hell we was doing, so I whistled loudly to get his attention.

“What is it?” He spoke in a very feminine voice turning to me, “I was having a pleasant dream.”

“Hey,” I called out to him, “What the hell happened to damn dam?”

He looked at me with a confused look. “The dam was busted centuries ago,” he gingerly explained, “I honestly couldn't remember why it was busted; I was just a measly hatchling at the time.”

“So, can you help a brutha out?”

“Pardon?”

I facepalmed so hard that I nearly broke my nose. “Can you help me across the river, please?” I asked kindly, “That gap’s a bit too long of a jump for me.”

“Hmm,” he thought, he tapped his chin in a rhythm and thought of something. “Do you have any Ginger Root?” He asked, “It’s been AGES since I last had some and I can’t venture outside the water.”

Ginger Root? What an oddly specific offer. If I remember correctly, Clover Leaf gave me some to help calm my stomach after I ate some rotten food the one day, so it must still be good, if it was also preserved in the stone cold storage. I rummaged through the pocket on the inside of my coat and, voilà, here it is! I tossed the root over to the water serpent who happily wolfed the whole thing down like demons we're going to invade tomorrow, which had happened once.

“Thank you…”

“Dante.”

“…thank you, Dante. A deal’s a deal.”

He picked me up like an action figure and carried me to the other side (I swear to Celestia, if I hear someone reference Adele one more time…) and gently put me down.

“If you were a dragon, I would’ve given you…something else to show my gratitude.”

“You probably wouldn't be able to handle it, big guy,” I joked.

He blushed at the remark and waved bye to me. I broke my way through the clearing to sunlight almost blinding me.