Borsalino

by sniggles

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Crossover, Human, Comedy
Length: 1699

The biggest troll in One Piece comes to terrorise everyone and everything; human or pony, no one is safe.

Everyone's (well, at least my) favourite admiral: Kizaru/Borsalino, fighting against the main cast of My Little Pony, for no good reason. Who will emerge victorious? Find out by reading on. Also, Zoro.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-17 21:30:02 UTC

Part 1

If you thought that this story was going to start off like "The Admiral woke up in a daze, unaware of where he was" or "The Admiral woke up to the sounds of hooves all around him" you'd be thoroughly mistaken. Kizaru was in PonyVille, not because he had a mission that the Marines wanted him to do. Fact is, the Marines and the World Government -heck, the entire world of One Piece- didn't even know this world of Equestria existed in the first place. Nor was Kizaru here because his powers went astray; the Admiral knew full well what his powers could and couldn't do, given his years of experience using his special powers granted by his Devil Fruit ability, the Pika Pika No Mi, which allowed him to become and use light at will for destructive or defensive means.

Kizaru smiled widely as he stood atop the castle of Canterlot, balanced on the peak of the tallest spire. His orange-tinted glasses glimpsed off the brightness of the morning sun as he surveyed all of the citizens in the city below, milling about unconcerned and unaware that a being capable of levelling every single building here in a matter of minutes was observing all of them, a wide, stupid grin gracing his face. He brushed his yellow striped attire, which emblazoned his 3 metre tall body in golden glory.

Kizaru was pretty much the best admiral the World Government had ever seen. No one could compare to Kizaru. He was basically Yonkou times 10, and he was nearly as powerful as Buggy. Everyone really was considering him to become Fleet Admiral but he turned down the request, quite content with the relative lack of work that his current position as admiral presented him. When it came to his job though, things got pretty gruesome.

Kizaru didn't especially revel in the bloodshed he usually caused with his powers, but didn't find it repulsive either; he just had a job (which paid rather modestly) and needed it to be done. However, what he did find amusing were the strong opponents he'd find in his battles and he'd be especially obsessed with taunting them, with his aloof mannerisms in spite of the heat of battle more often than not irritating the heck out of any enemy he'd encounter. His words came out slow, a direct contrast to the speedy nature of his powers. That's pretty funny, Kizaru thought to himself as he looked across the clouds, thinking of somewhere else to go. Something told him that someone, somewhere, was in need of a good taunting, and it wasn't here in Canterlot. A similar feeling made him do an inter-dimensional leap into this weird horse-world, since nothing exciting was going on at Marineford anymore.

"In case you were wondering why I'm here," Kizaru tells you, the reader, as he leaps off Canterlot Castle, firing a beam of light randomly into the air with a single finger, "I needed to relieve some boredom."

Kizaru flies off on that beam of light, his smile never leaving his face.

Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were playing a treasure hunting game, which was set up across the entirety of PonyVille. All of the kids in the school yard were invited to join in this one treasure hunt, organised by Ms. Cheerilee, and the trio enthusiastically joined in the search for the missing treasures. It would have been fun if only...

"... we had a clue where any of the treasures are," said Applebloom, her bow tie drooping in disappointment.

"Or what they even look like," commented Scootaloo, frowning deeply.

"Or where we even are!" exclaimed Sweetie Belle, and instantly they realised they were in a weird shop selling antiques. They'd never been here before, and hence couldn't recognise the elderly shopkeeper.  The trio scratched their heads with their hooves.

"Uh, anyone around? Is that...? Wait..." said a human, who came into the shop. He had short, green hair and tan skin, and had three swords in scabbards attached to his belt. The elderly shopkeeper was asleep so the human had only the three fillies to question. They smiled at the foreigner.

"Hi!" all of them said.

"Wait, why aren't you surpri-- ah, whatever, I've dealt with weirder. Anyway, uh--"

"Mister! Could you help us with our treasure hunt?!" All of them said simultaneously. The man was taken aback. Clearly, these horse-things should have been aghast at him like the others outside. Admittedly, the man was lost himself and didn't know how he even got there. But still, he had to put up a brave front for the three kids in front of him. He smiled widely and the ponies responded likewise.

"Of course! I'm no stranger to treasure! Plus, I've got an impeccable sense of direction! Follow me!" He said, storming out of the door. The fillies screamed a resounding "YAY!" in his wake, and proceeded to follow him with gusto. "By the way, name's Zoro! Roronoa Zoro!"

"Cool!"

"Which way do you think is the best, girls?" Zoro asked as they were caught in between moving right towards Sugarcube Corner, and left towards Twilight's castle. They shrugged.

"Left it is!" said Zoro, and proceeded to go towards Sugarcube Corner.

PonyVille was still and quiet. Twilight's castle was peaceful and serene, its spires reaching up and away to great heights. Twilight smiled as a sleepy Spike yawned beside her as she read a thick book on stars. The castle was grand, made of the hardiest stone that Equestria had to offer and its foundation was solid; not even unicorn horn could hope to drill through even a centimetre of the castle's walls. Twilight even tested cannon fire from the Canterlot Army onto the walls and only soot stained them. Plus, she had a level 10 Grandmaster-class Invisible Magical Shield around the castle at all times, which caused the castle to be virtually invincible to any external influence at all times.

Then suddenly, her castle was cut in half. Quite literally. Twilight screamed as an explosion engulfed her surroundings from the sudden attack, and by reflex she formed a shield around her and Spike, levitating both of them to safety to the ground. Twilight winced a little as a wound granted from a flying piece of rubble had grazed her across the right cheek was exposed to the air, leading her to levitate a band-aid to cover it. Spike was knocked out, unconscious.

"Yoooo. I'm super bored," exclaimed Kizaru, as his face contorted into a sickeningly carefree smile. Kizaru's face had lots of wrinkles, but his expressions were always so youthful that no one seemed to notice.

Twilight looked confused. Who was this man? Did he do this? And why would he be so carefree throughout all of this? Ponies near and far were panicking, distraught at the loss of their Princess Twilight's castle.

"In case you were thinking it, I'm Kizaru. Yes I did this. And, it's pretty much in my nature that I'm carefree. Oda made it like that, don't question," Kizaru said, shocking Twilight. However, he made it very clear that he was an enemy who needed to be taken out, and possessed a significant amount of power. Twilight's expression turned serious.

"Oooo, scary," drawled Kizaru as Twilight's horn started glowing, power gathering at its tip. It was so heavy that a crater in the earth was slowly but surely forming around Twilight's hooves. The energy that gathered was a deep purple, and was filled with enough power to level a skyscraper. After about 2 seconds of charging, she released it onto Kizaru, nothing held back. In retaliation, the 3-meter tall Admiral held his hands up.

The attack passed right through Kizaru, and destroyed the one half of her castle. Twilight gulped while Kizaru looked behind him, his eyes widening and his lips pouting, as if he was trying to find out whether someone passed gas behind him.

"Ehhhhhhhh?" commented Kizaru as he looked back at the remaining half of the castle, feigning surprise. "I've never seen a horse do that..."

Twilight was stricken by something that hadn't stricken her for a long time, which was fear (and by long I mean about two weeks ago, when she forgot to prepare an entire sentence worth of information for her alicorn training test). Kizaru was... invincible. He couldn't be touched by her beams of energy at all. She fired a few more rounds but the result was still the same; that smug look still remained on his face and he looked, well, a lot better than she did. Twilight was panting due to the large amount of energy she released; it was peacetime, and she wasn't used to pulling out such big guns like that. She decided to pull back for now, and meet with the other Main 6. She flapped her wings, gritting her teeth as she flew as fast as she could.

"Waiiiitt up for me!" cried Kizaru as he flew alongside Twilight, riding a beam of light like a surfboard except he wasn't even trying to keep balance; rather, his hands were in his pockets and he was sliding through the air on the light beam. He looked like someone who absolutely didn't give a rat's rear end about anything, at all. How overpowered, thought Twilight.

"Since I've already introduced myself, what's your name, miss...?" started Kizaru, "Or is it a mister? I think purple is kind of a boy's colour..."

"Shut up!" cried Twilight. Suddenly, the truth sank in; her home (her second one to boot!) was wrecked. Tears started to well in her eyes but she fought them back, noticing Kizaru leaning in and observing her face.

"Otototo..." started Kizaru as he saw Twilight's reddening face," I must have overdone it just now. Here, let me give you a hand~"

In mid-air, Kizaru stretched his palm towards the purple alicorn.

"Thunder~~~ Punch~~~"

Kizaru's leg stretched out instead and kicked Twilight at the speed of light, sending her hurtling around the world a few times. Kizaru gave a stupid grin as he saw the purple speck disappear into the horizon.

"Ah... I might have overdone it again~"