The tiny bell tinkled as Derpy walked in to her favourite diner (and bar). The loneliness had gotten the best of her that day and she just wanted to drown her troubles. The friendly din of other ponies talking suddenly ceased as Derpy stumbled to a booth. A few giggled, one straight out laughed, and some pony said, "What in Equestria is her problem?" Derpy sniffed. Tears filled her eyes. She couldn't control how her eyes looked, she wanted to tell them. She was born that way. But the words never came, and Derpy's sorrow deepened. The clip-clop of hooves outside the door made her flinch, and she gazed out the window like she always did. The not-so-busy streets of Ponyville contained a few ponies walking, a pair of pegasi wing-in-wing, and Princess Twilight...about to run into Lyra. Derpy looked away. A waiter came up to her table. Derpy ordered three cups of apple cider with alcohol.
"Are you sure about that, miss?" the waiter inquired her abruptly.
Derpy nodded. The waiter went behind the counter and poured them. She brought them to Derpy on a little red tray, and Derpy drank them all very quickly. Beginning to fell a bit tipsy, she ordered three more and this continued until she was really drunk. She sat on the booth, her head lolling to one side. But she stood up straight when she heard someone speaking to her.
"Um...miss?"
She looked over lazily and saw a stallion with a tan coat and a brown mane. He had a collar on with a green tie. Immediately Derpy developed a crush on him and stared at him without a movement.
"Miss...are you drunk?"
Derpy nodded lopsidedly. The stallion blinked. Derpy blinked. This went on until the stallion said, "Do you need an escort home?"
Derpy could barely think, so she just nodded again, not even half-knowing what he had said.
"Um, I could...if you would want that?"
Derpy lolled her head around. The stallion placed a hoof on her shoulder.
"Okay, I really need to get you home. Your name, miss?"
"D-derpy."
"Oh, I've seen you around. You live in that big cottage right?"
Derpy yet again nodded involuntarily. The stallion guided her off the seat and out the door. The humid night air slapped them both across the face. It was quite humid that summer night and it was very uncomfortable. Derpy stumbled around, and the stallion guided her until they came to a fairly large cottage. Suddenly, Derpy jammed her lips against his (she was still drunk) and he didn't pull away. They stood there for awhile until finally he pulled away.
