Double Agent

Well I was going to continue about the happy times until I was so rudely interrupted.

Today Cadance called me to Canterlot for a meeting with Celestia and Twilight. Be still my beating and very bored heart.

I can't just be left in peace to tend my upside down bonsai plants and mop the floor with dirty dishwater and write this autobiography in my journal, now I have to go to meetings as well. "Hello, my name is Discord and I've been a chaos user for 4 billion years." Quite honestly, I hate meetings. Nothing good ever came of sitting around a table and shuffling paper.

It's because Celestia always has to do things in such a ridiculously formal manner. What's doubly annoying about this is she isn't really that formal of a girl. Oh, I'm sure her subjects like to think she is, but she'll enjoy a joke as much as the next wonky draconequus. So it's not her personality, it's the fact that there are rules and therefore rules must be obeyed and customs and traditions must be upheld and blah blah blah....

Anyway, the meeting was mostly boring. I say mostly because I had to sit through what felt like hours of bureaucratic mumbo jumbo. Then Celestia told Sparky and me what I'm sure we both already knew- that we were weapons. Okay, she didn't use those words but you have to read between the lines.

Apparently there's some dark and mystical magic thing happening in a land near here and I'm supposed to go and check it out. Because we all know how well that went last time, don't we? Surprised you lot still trust me, Cadance.

She wants us to go fairly sharpish, but I'll be taking this journal with me and writing in it as I go.

Sparky seemed quite eager about the whole thing as she usually is. The truth is I worry about that girl sometimes. I think she'd throw herself under a carriage for Celestia, and that's not at all a healthy attitude to have. I never understood the need to kow tow to someone who is in power. Even when I "ruled" Equestria I despised the idea of being worshipped. There were a few ponies who devoted cults to me, but to be perfectly honest they were rather blind and stupid, and my idea of a party does not involve robes and chanting and burning incense and asking for things. I champion individuality, and nothing erases your individuality faster than saying "nosir/yessir." So yeah, I don't understand Sparky's need to be validated by Sun Spot.

There's something I else I don't understand, and that's Fluttershy.

Here's an example. Shortly after Tirek was defeated, we  magic users all went through an uncomfortable physical phase. Myself and the alicorns in particular took quite a while to recover. Oh heck, Cadance. You know this. You were there. Did your flank hurt as much as mine did? Good thing I don't sit on it like you do.

But yes, it took me a few days before I was back to my old abnormal self.

I lay in the patch of sunlight, enjoying the feel of the warm sun's rays on my feathers; my paw and griffon arm held away from my body as I lay on my side, completely spent.

It should be a known fact that I rarely keep still, but we were all feeling a bit sore and exhausted after what happened with Tirek. Magic stealing isn't something you can get over in a few days. I have it on good authority that Twilight slept for days, and she apparently snores like a warthog. Hey, I'm just the messenger.

Anyway, I was on the floor of Fluttershy's cottage soaking up all the heat I could. My muscles ached and my joints felt as if someone had decided to smoosh them between two anvils. I sighed deeply, and the action made my ribs ache.

Powerful magic users such as Sparky and myself felt it worse than the earth ponies or pegasi. Fluttershy and Applejack were back to normal fairly quickly.

That was when she found me on the floor.

"Hey, Noodle." I said to her.

She shook her head at me, then joined me on the floor, where she laid her head on the middle of my body, just below the wings. I could feel her warm breath on my feathers. One of her wings spread over me in a soft, gentle hug.

I started to cry. I instantly regretted it. Sobs and bruised ribs don't go well together. Fluttershy adjusted herself so that she was now face to face with me. Her eyes weren't dry either.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"I told you, I know," she whispered.

She's one of life's mysteries, my Fluttershy is. I still don't know how a being that kind can exist in a world that is rather cruel and has things like me in it. Oh don't get me wrong. I don't think I'm evil, but I'm not a saint either and I've known a lot of people who were so far removed from the concept of sainthood they made me look like a hero. And furthermore, I've had dealings with those people.

I'm not a good pony, I know that.

All I know is that Fluttershy makes me feel good. And if I'm away from her, I ache a little. I suppose this is what friendship is. But I don't ache when I'm away from Twilight or Pinkie or any of my other friends. Maybe it's because she's my best friend so it's different with her. I will have to ask Sparky about that one.

Well, time to get going. If we're travelling by train I might have time to write more about foalhood. It will certainly be more interesting than looking at the dreary landscape go past.