I'm a Princess Now?

by Cannotbeseen

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure, Human
Length: 3321

Has curse words may put some sexual themes for laughs also the archive doesn't work for me.

So here's how my day got started off first I had dream no not the one to end segregation but the one that makes NO SENSE after waking up from that mad house I find my self in the body of a white mutant horse that's the ruler of entire country. You'd think it stops there but no now I woken up from shock of what I becalmed now this other horse who was the sister to the original owner of this body is pissed at me great just great

I am going to strangle the jackass that did this.

First story so i would appreciate some feed back on how to make it better and be sure share, comment and rate and do your general thing as an audience! :D

Also if I offended your religion I will take all of your complaints into consideration plz email
276132notarealemail29734@yahoo.com to voice your complaints because I care about your feelings especially the sensitive ones that need extra care or else you get a law suit.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-22 02:14:18 UTC

Putting in Each Others Shoes

As I was desperately trying to will my body to move and get out of bed and run like hell from this thing that was holding me in place but I could only sweat in fear and have my eyes dart place to place in my room thinking in agony of what’s going to happen to me.

‘Move your damn arms for christ sakes anything!!’

After struggling for about minute or so gave up I felt something above me laughing at my pathetic attempts to escape from it’s iron grip on my will to run.

‘Will fuck you too you piece of shit!’

Since I couldn’t say that i put on my best “go fuck yourself look” and I stayed in that dark scowl.

“Oh lighten up you sour puss!”

The voice was male but was full of malicious intent but yet had a some sort of twisted playful nature somewhat like me when I hit on girls yah not that much of lady killer to be honest.

“Relax a little cause this might not be the best experience to happen in fact it’ll be the worse to the truth.”

‘Gee thanks asshole.’

“Will i’m gonna send you off now since I have a bit more planning to do see ya on the other side princess!”

He let me get control of my mouth at the last second to shout.

“WAIT WHA-.”

Then a void swallowed me up as i realized that i’m no longer on my bed as I was free falling through a void of shifting grays and blacks and whites that constantly changed patterns at an alarming rate.I wanted for more than anything in the world to scream in terror but I felt the same immobile feeling as before when that jackass entity sent me hereI fell for about ten seconds when I was snapped from it when I felt warmth flood my eyes even though it was dark it felt like morning rays coming from my windows and gently dance on my eyelids I then lost consciousness.

“ GASP!”

I gasped and breathed so hard it felt like my head was underwater for about 10 seconds after collecting my bearings I realized it was all a dream.

‘Strange it felt pretty real meh my brain was fucked up from day one.’

I looked around to see I wasn’t in my usual uneven messy beddings instead I was in a plush yet strangely cartoonish bed and it was huge.

‘What the fuck is this inception all over again? Jesus never nothing ever made since in that movie did a something thirty-five year old agent make out with a ten year girl to not get noticed she was in twenty-two form but still pretty creepy.’

Yawning I closed my eyes and brought my hand up in the usual matter to open my eyes to see that I have an elegant snow white hoof replacing my hand that’s been well maintained.

‘How do you maintain a hoof wait...’

“WHAT THE FUCK!?!’

I shrieked the vulgar words so loud the sound was deafening it even hurt my own ears a little I scrambled out of the regal plush bed with an audible *thud*. I crawled over to the bathroom to since I was unused to walking on fours to eventually I reached to a large mirror showing what I have become. I had an slim yet imposing regal body of a snow white horse expect I had a horn that was roughly eight inches long, on my back I had a pair of giant white wings with well pruned feathers, I also had stern yet kind light pink eyes with a giant mass of neat hair on my head that was rainbow colored which defied gravity with a matching tail that followed in suit, what really brought my attention was the sun shaped brand on my ass.

"Okay so! You were trolled by Satan or whatever and turned into a uhh... umm... alicorn I think? Just take deep breathes in and out dude just calm down! Look on the bright side you now have a fag tag now why does my voice sound so high pitch?Wait I must be a girl does that mean it’s a tramp stamp now?"

After my panic attack was over I heard my double door was trying to be knocked downed and it sounded like whoever was doing it was pretty pissed off I was scared shitless good thing theres a toilet nearby becuase I was fucking terrified when I heard the gruff voice of a soldier started yelling threats.

“Get out with your hooves up you are under arrest for breaking and entering the royal palace and for threatening the princess your surrounded so give up!”

“Whoa calm down dude I don’t even know what’s going on!”

“Nice impersonation but next time THINK with your damn head since when does the princess say dude!?”

They were STILL banging on the doors man must be one hell of a lock instead walking on my hind legs i slowing raised onto my fours and tried walking placing on hoof after another. Turns out it only takes about five seconds to master new stuff when your under this much pressure toke the guards another second for them to come busting through the double door they came charging in like it was a drug raid.

“You are under arr- princess please forgive us we simply thought that you were being attack and the assassin tried to impersonate  you we will accept any punishment you see fit.”

After hearing that did not want to kill me I quickly regained my composure as there were three golden armor clad white horses expect two of them had wings the one leading the posse was a unicorn

‘Wow theses guys armor reminds of paladin mounts wait did this guy call me his princess? Okay weird do not want to explain to her dad that a bipedal hairless ape has taken a hold of her daughter he’ll probably think i’m a demon or something *gulp*.

“Umm... hello Princess Celestia?”

‘Thats my name huh?Actually thats pretty cool name considering i’m a goddamn horse at the moment a well might as well troll with the guards.”

I displayed a sly and mischievous smile to the guards now they were shaking in fear at the point of having a mental break down.

“DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY BANANA HABS MAGGOTS!!!”

They almost had a “what the fuck face”  that was good as mine.

“Princess could specify what these “banana habs” are so we can do our duty as the royal guard.”

“What you don’t know what a banana jab is? Well your jobs is to find out by the end of the day if you fail I my punishment will be harsh i mean EVERYONE knows what a banana hab is!”

“Alright as the royal guard it is our duty to serve and protect you and serve we shall!”

“Okay cool.”

They ran off in a overly dramatic heroic way to discover what this mysterious banana non existent habs drill unit were.

“Well that was easy”

I said with a sly smile as I went to explore the palace halls there were stairs leading up to a balcony I looked out saw I was in a huge ass city and I mean huge there were towering buildings, classy restaurants, over the distance I saw a shop with silk clothing apparently people were so rich they can afford to have gems glue on their clothes.

“Sister it is almost dawn the night is ending shouldn’t you be raising the sun?”

This regal yet inquisitive voice startled me a lot bit causing me to jump five feet in the air making my feathers on my wings to ruffle and puff out. I turned around to see a midnight blue alicorn taller than the three guards but about an inch or so shorter than me with hair that has the midnight sky shimmering on it (wow hair defying logic must run in the family) with a pair of wings and a horn two inches or so shorter than mine but still long diamond blue eyes and for some reason had a splotch of black on her ass with a crescent moon it wow princesses here must be low class to have tramp stamps.

“Oh sorry for scaring you like that Celly but you seemed a bit distracted there spacing out like that.

“First off my name is Marc Second off how in the hell do I raise a giant nuclear bomb?”

She just looked at me like I was crazy but then started to laugh thinking i’m pulling her leg around well she’s in for quite a shock.

“Oh sister you had me there for a second Marc sounds like strange name doesn’t it? But jokes aside you need to raise the sun.”

“I’m dead serious I don’t know how the hell how I got here or how to raise the sun.”

“WHAT!?!?” “MY SISTER HAS FALLEN PREY TO MEMORY LOSS!?!?”

“Holy shit turn the fucking volume down for christ sake!”

“Now you are spouting such vulgar words no doubt you have lost your memory quick I need to save you before I lose you all together!”

“I’m serious my name is Marc I come from Earth I don’t know where your sister is I think I was originally a dude so i’m not sure whether to embrace my new gender or start pumping iron to keep my stereotypical masculinity I think i’ll go with option two.

“See it’s worse than I thought quick we need get the doctors immediately!

“Fine if you won’t believe me but at least tell me how to raise the sun!”

“Hmm... yes that is a problem try imaging your soul shifting the sky to a new day to a new world with into one with a bright sun and deep blue sky this always works for me.”

“That sounds ridiculous and unrealistic.”

“Ugh just try.”

“Fine.”

I closed my eyes and I concentrated on my “soul” to shift the world into world filled with light I felt the gears turning it was surprisingly hard I thought it was an instinct thing that comes naturally. After five minutes of agonizing concentration I open my eyes to see a sun like a timid little girl popping up to see what’s going on in the world.

‘I was panting like a dog after that how many times to this Celestia girl have to do this shit!?’

“See that wasn’t so hard!”

I swear to god she pulled off the world’s greatest troll face.

“Shut *pant* up *pant.”

“Well now that’s done we can go see the doctor.”

“I already told you i’m not your sister my name is Marc I am a human being which also happened to be a dude before this shit happened.”

“What a vivid imagination my dear sister but please watch your language your royalty and as such we must be calm and coolheaded so others will follow in lead.”

“Great now only am I going to a doctor that’ll diagnosis me as insane but i’m not allowed to curse fan fu-”

She then gave me a choose your words carefully look.

“Freaking tastic.”

“Your learning but you need to work on your speech you sound like an annoyed commoner.”

“Well that’s kinda what I am.”

“Yes I suppose we’ll better get a move on.”

“By the way whats your name?”

“It’s Luna i’m surprised you forgot that guess i’ll have a hard time explaining to the mane six about your condition.”

“Main six?”

“You’ll see”

We walked down to stairs back the main hall after fifteen minutes in silence we came across a large set of giant stained glass windows on both sides of the walls portraying stories. I was mostly interested in the one that looked like some weird ass jumbled up ugly thing was getting zapped by a group of six horses.

“Are they zapping a mutant bird or something?”

“My you must have a strong memory loss that’s Discord lord of chaos and disharmony your nemesis he’s currently encased in stone at the moment.”

“Looks kinda what I ate last night expect fried and slathered in barbecue sauce with a side of coleslaw.”

Luna looked at me in bewilderment I just gave her a stupid grin that also had hints of insanity here and there we then bother laughed out loud having our laughter bounce of the surface of the large room.

“I don’t if your memory loss is a problem or an improvement you were so serious all the time but I still need to get you to the doctor regardless.”

“I keep telling yah some body switching stuff happened.”

“Just make it easier on your self and accept my help.”

“Fine but when they go into my memories you’ll be shocked also don’t throw me in the dungeon for body snatching your sister it was a complete accident some jackass in the dark did it.”

“Hmm.... well then we’ll find out once you see the doctor won’t we?”

“God your stubborn.”

“Only because I love you.”

“*sigh*”

----------------------------------------------------Marc’s Bed Room--------------------------------------

The sun’s rays filtered through the loosely covered windows causing a certain out of place princess to stir. She bolted strait she recalled a shifting void, vulgar words and laughing she looked down to out she was in a messy bed with loose beddings.

“What in the world?”

She was startled at how deep her voice was it sounded like a colt in his first years of adolescent.

She brought up her hooves to brush her... black mane from her face?

‘Odd I don’t remember dying my hair’

“AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!”

She screamed instead of having snow white hooves at the end of her arms were a flat square like tanned flesh with five digits protruding from them four of them being long and slender with each being different lengths on the right side of the right square flesh was short and fat one comparison to the other digits.

‘How strange! Lets see if I can move them.’

She tested them and found out she can wrap objects around them and move them at certain places.

“How was I able to do this with only hooves surely they would simply fall of I must send a request to Twilight on how ponies were able to do this without these digits.”

A deep rude voice echoed from the from the next room

“Shut the fuck up Marc i’m trying to sleep!”

‘Well I never in my life been insulted like this and why did this rude pony call me Marc!? Also why is he sleeping at this hour its practically late morning!

Celestia got out of bed and tried walking on all fours but found it was uneven and uncomfortable as her rear was sticking out in the air she slowly rose and got on two legs

she toke little baby steps to come to a door she tried pushing the door open but to no avail.

‘What an odd door wait a minute...’

She used her new digits to turn the doorknob and slowly open the door as she made her way to the bathroom across the room she willed the lights to turn on.

‘Hmm... well I am in the form of some sort of bipedal diamond dog so I guess flying and magic is out of the question.’

She looked over to the right and saw switches she flicked them on and toke a good look of herself in the mirror. She had a tan skinned face dark brown hazel eyes messy black hair with a natural crimson auburn sheen when light passes through or on it a nose protruded up showing nostrils even cheeks. She was wearing a black shirt with gray swirl patterns going over it with a single white star over her heart she looked down and found out her hind hooves were dragon like expect tan without the scales or claws. Her bottom half was wearing a dark navy blue covering  that had a rough feeling on the out side but a smooth silk feeling on the inside. She was shocked at the lack of colors of she was wearing with white being the only stark comparison she heard a tune play from afar.

‘A visitor?’

She walked over do the main door which was a shade of midnight blue that reminded heard of her sister she looked through the window to find some sharing her same traits as her it walked two legs had blonde hair combed to the left side of his face had gray eyes that had a strange green-orange inner color seems to be muscular wears the same rough fabric as a bottom like me but was much more paler had a white shirt with a Pig talking to a piece of bacon saying “Frank is that you?” she shuddered at the dark joke being over two-thousand years you pick up on things especially when a certain draconequus has that type of humor she notice he was wearing worn out orange shoes she braced her self and timidly opened the door.

“Hello?”

“Dude it’s me Kevin why are you acting like i’m a murderer or something what is there some stupid ass rumor going around?”

“No there’s no rumor also my name isn’t dude it’s Princess Celestia of Equestria as much as your bipedal species interest me and I need to get out of this form and tend to my duties as a princess.”

“HAHAHAHAHAAAA you want to be princess what the fuck dude stop dicking around where the hell do you come up this shit!”

"I'm quite serious and please reframe from using such vulgar language infront of royalty."

At this point he's crying rolling the cement and welcome mat crying in tears he got up looked her with a questioning gaze as of she just asked the most stupidest question possible.

"Your serious aren't you?"

"I never joke around in times like these."

"Really because your kind of insane."

"I'm serious!"

"That's cool anyways wanna go the the beach it gets boring sitting in a house all day there might be a girl that won't think your crazy or not kick your ass for getting too grabby."

"Your not listening to single word of what i'm saying are you?"

"How crazy do think it sounds when you come over to a friends house and he starts acting like a prissy princess convinced she needs to be in a tower or some shit and have some knight rescue her so do you wanna go to the beach or not?

"..."

"..."

"Fine..."

"Good get your stuff so you surf and be sure to put swim trunks on and not a bikini princess" He said with smirk

"Hmph! Well I might as well learn about this new world and seeing as how i'm a male I should wear trunks instead of a bikini

also what do you bring to the beach and what do trunks look like in this species? She said with a sheepish smile

Taking this as an invite into the one-story but wide house he walked to past the couches near the main door went into another going to the left.

"Your really weird you know that well don't just stand there princess lets get your stuff so we can go your knight is waiting at the beach" He smirked once more.

'That smirk is really going to get to me'

                                                                              End of Chapter one

Not sure if I wanna keep typing this stuff out oh well i'll how this turns it out if this gets popular i'll try to update every weekend no pinkie promise anyways be sure to comment, rate and share this story if you feel like it stay awesome!