Storyteller

Everyone has heard the tale of the Vault Dweller, the Chosen One, the Lone Wanderer, the Sixth Courier and more recently, I've started telling the tale of the Sole Survivor. Of course that's just a handful of stories I've happened to stumble across in my travels, the wasteland has many more buried in its sands. Today, our story isn't one I tell often, but it does prove that friendship is not always magic... just most of the time.

This is not one of those times.

Now then, if you were to ask a Wastelander what the words Talon Company means, they'll reply with the standard, "Heartless, honourless, merciless killers who, while not as grotesque and as barbaric, are twice as deadly as any Raider or Slaver, three times as organized, four times as smart and five times outta five, better equipped than you."

If you were to ask one of Reilly's Rangers what Talon Company mercenaries fight for, you'll get some spit on your footwear and a scowl, "Nothing but caps," They'll claim, "they don't fight for anything but the caps, they don't have feelings or even thoughts that aren't related to the pay or stolen goods."

If you were to ask a Talon Company mercenary why they're so effective, they'll tell you to shut up and keep moving, they aren't getting paid for conversation, they're getting paid to protect your ass. If they aren't being paid to protect you, then they're probably getting paid to kill you... so either way, don't expect friendly conversation.

I'll leave you to your own opinions of them, but personally, I think the best way to get an opinion of someone, is to learn something about them. So here is the tale of two wastelanders, respected by their fellow mercenaries, distrusted and even treated with outright hostility by their employers, how they brought pain and destruction to their foes or the occasional smile and laugh to their friends...

Jason Stoner-Talon

February the eighth of the year twenty-two, seventy-eight

When I say that there are some people who just don't deserve to live, take my word for it, I know what I'm talking about. Raiders, Slavers, heck even a few of my brothers and sisters in arms deserve nothing less than a high powered bullet to the head.

That's not to say I'll let them die if I can help it, they're still my brothers and sisters, I'm only saying some of them deserve quick and nearly painless deaths, that's all.

Anyways, my sister, Sarah, and I are close, always have been and always will be. She saw me as nothing less than a fission powered electromagnet for trouble. I saw her as a crate of nitroglycerin being dragged behind a brahmin through a minefield. We both say the other is the dangerous one, but unlike her, I've never tried to make a fission powered electromagnet... I still have no idea where she found the brahmin and the crate of nitroglycerin, let alone how someone so good with explosives wouldn't notice a minefield until she was halfway through it. I think she was drunk, high or maybe she was just fucked silly the night before.

Ah, the mysteries of the Capital Wasteland. So very many and all of them so unique.

What can I say about myself, well I don't talk much, or at all... I don't even know why. Is it out of habit instead of personal preference, seeing as to stealth is my element and the many late night assassinations and recon missions I've done required total silence? Well according to Sarah, when I was born I took one look at the wasteland and thought fuck this shit, as if I knew as a newborn that nothing else that came out of my mouth would ever change the wasteland. So there's that theory. I whistle, I'm pretty damn good at it too, Sarah and I know Morse code and we have a small library of hand signals, so I can still communicate, just without talking, which is comforting.

Anyway, our dad was a wasteland scout for a vault, when he and his parents spoke up for sharing the life saving technology and medicine with the wastelanders, the overseer didn't care for that and they were kicked out by those that knew them their entire lives. A week after they left the vault, dad came across a settlement, fell in love with one of the guards and, after a few months, they got married and had Sarah.

A year and a half later, I was born. Me and Sarah were both natural marksmen, something that was perfected during our training, although I always excelled with a scoped rifle while Sarah found her calling in energy weapons and shooting dual-wield due to her being, in her words, akimbo-dexterous. We would occasionally go out hunting after the year twenty-two, sixty-six, when me and Sarah had got our grandparents' Pip-boys for our respective tenth birthdays, something our dad said was a vault tradition.

Sarah and I are members of Talon Company, we started young when a squad of them came upon us one night before I became a teenager, we had just watched our parents get raped and tortured by some slavers after a long day of hunting. Traumatizing, hell yeah, but it's in the past and it lit a flame in our hearts as we watched the bastards, they didn't care for enslaving our mom and dad, they just wanted our dad to tell them where vault eighty-one was and how to get in. I guess that's where Sarah's defiant nature is from, I act more like our mom; I'm a soft speaking kind of person but I'll always speak my mind, even without words. Usually with bullets from a half of a mile away.

Now, I don't care for dreaming, maybe because most of my dreams are focused around people I care for dying, a common theme for most Talons or wastelanders. At least, I think. Thankfully my sister, Sarah, is alive and well, something not everyone who lives in the wasteland can say, but something I'm damn proud of. It takes a lot to protect someone so reckless after all.

In most of my dreams, I'm kneeling over Sarah's mutilated corpse, trying to stuff her organs back in. I knew I was dreaming almost every time, but the knowledge of the world being a fake didn't stop me from being terrified, Sarah was always there for me and I watched her back; my greatest fear was of not waking up and finding out that that time, it wasn't a dream. But not that day, that day started like many others...

...with me on the ground.

"WAKE UP DAMMIT!!" Gravity grasped and tore me from my bed, which was on its side for some reason. I hit the metal floor and laid there for a few seconds, simply coming to terms with just what the fuck happened. Once I had finished that, I looked up and saw Sarah standing over me with a smirk, her blue eyes shining with amusement and her blonde hair tied up in a ponytail while her helmet, balaclava and breathing mask were cradled under her arm. She had her riot shotgun and Cosmo, her custom modified laser RCW, hanging off of their extendable slings on her back while her two Glock eighty-six Plasma Defenders rested on her hips in a pair of black, leather holsters, "I tried to wake you, but you were having one of your dead-to-the-world dreams again, so I had to get drastic."

I glared at her and sat up, rubbing the back of my skull, my nightmares make me a deep sleeper but when I don't get one, I can wake up to someone just snapping their fingers. After the ache went away a little, I stood up and whistled at her, she rolled her eyes before she walked out of the barracks, "Okay okay, no need for foul language so early in the morning. Hurry up and get ready, we got a contract."

I sighed as I walked over to the foot locker, righting my bunk on the way. I reached in and pulled out Wanda, my custom R91 assault rifle that I've built and rebuilt hundreds of times as well as the kit with all of mine and Sarah's weapon mods. Mainly mine. Next I grabbed my silenced sniper rifle that was chambered for three-oh-eight rounds and ran a quick check on the scope's mounts, not a single loose screw, as well as the absence of a rattle that many other sniper rifles got from a lack of maintenance; it was as pristine as ever.

I pulled out a pair of razor sharp combat knives, both of the blades painted in the standard Talon Company black, the paint itself was some kind of light absorbing material, before I pulled my twelve-point-seven millimeter submachine gun out and my extra, extra large backpack; filled with plenty of extra magazines, spare ammo, spare energy cells and electron charge packs, extra grenades and mines of various types as well as a bomb making kit for Sarah that I really didn't like carrying, three days worth of random crap and caps for those long term missions, spare armour plates -both steel, ceramic and steel with a ceramic overlay-, two weapon maintenance kits with all of the necessary additions for our wide variety of weapons, my reloading and recycling kit, basic field dressing kit and a pair of rebreathers from when Fort Bannister was military base, a few MRE's and several bottles of clean water.

Oh, and some snackfoods and a few bottles of Nuka-Cola. Sugary goodness is important on the battlefield after all as I've told Sarah.

You may think it was a little excessive, but in my opinion, I really hate getting pinned down without my little armory, I knew better than that. That and I'm, as Sarah and Commander Jabsco put it, a hoarder. I for one just like being prepared even if I have to have about two hundred and fifty pounds of shit on me at all times. The weapons and the extra, extra large backpack that held all of my equipment was placed on my bed before I reached in and pulled out my combat armour, a mark two set, the battle rattle for it, my balaclava and my breathing mask that was all in the standard black of Talon Company.

Before I got dressed, I took the time to check my equipment; all of the kits were fully stocked and ready for use, my snacks have expired some two hundred years ago, the MRE's were gonna go bad in a few decades, the breathing mask didn't have any signs of decay, my armour wasn't too pockmarked and the combat vest didn't show too many signs of wear and tear, all of my guns were clean and none of the extras for Wanda or the twelve-point-seven had any obvious damage. Oh, and my knives were still razor sharp, to my pain.

Yep, that's gonna scar. Everything is in good shape, now I'm ready. Today is going to be hell on my stuff, through. I thought as I wrapped the cut on my finger with my under shirt. I may even find a bottle of presidential wine, or did whoever the fuck it was that killed the planet prefer whiskey? Hopefully whiskey or vodka... nah, that's a commie drink. Maybe wine, but wasn't that's for mexicans, French tequila it is!

My education was focused on practical things, like weapon and armour maintenance, survival skills and shooting, not long dead alcohol producing countries. I knew all the important things through; wine makes me calm, vodka makes me brood over past contracts, whiskey makes me pick fights, scotch makes me sick, tequila makes me pick more fights and beer makes me sleepy. Oh, and the one time I had moonshine, I woke in some lady's bed in Tenpenny Towers. No one knows how I got in there, let alone why that nympho jumped my bones or how I crossed the Capitol Wasteland in my underclothes without anything to protect myself with. It's my belief I'm a ninja and I'm not even Chinese.

After I got dressed, minus the facial appeal, I walked out of the room I shared with my fellow Talons and headed to the restroom, leaving my massive backpack on the floor next to the door. Once I finished my business, I walked over to the sink and washed my face, observing myself. I stood at six feet, three inches tall, with short, messy brown hair and a three pointed star shaped scar in the middle of my forehead, a result of Sarah's early attempts at explosive experimentation that involved a lunch box, bottle caps, a radio receiver and a frag grenade... the less said, the better, the soooo much better.

The Capital Mall, it's several hundred yards long with interconnected trenches, fortifications and is filled to the brim with Super Mutants. It was an average day for the Capital Wasteland, grey clouds completely covered the sky, the Potomac crawled along, people died of, but not limited to, disease, bullets, wildlife or starvation, radiation and dehydration. It was on that day, in a open field that my life started to take a turn I never saw coming. I had just climbed out of a trench a moment ago and was running across no-man's land.

I ran forward as fast as I could, my long strides were eating up the dust as missiles and bullets flew past me while I fired my standard version of Wanda from my hip. I knew I wasn't hitting anything vital or even suppressed any of them, but shooting back made me feel more alive and it's good to feel alive. Especially in a gunfight. The Super Mutants had dug in deep in the mall area, but I didn't care about how many there were, I just cared for how much I was going to get paid and what I could steal, that and coming out alive so I can enjoy it, Hard liquor, here I come!

I jumped into a trench and immediately emptied the rest of my magazine into a brute's helmeted head, the beast dropped its sledgehammer as it died. As I was reloading, I heard footsteps from above the trench and pulled out my sub, aiming it towards the sound. To my relief, it was Sarah, to my humor, coming eye to barrel with my gun scared her off of her feet and she landed in a pile at the bottom of the trench. Payback!

"God fucking damn it Jason, you nearly blew my head off!" She yelled, I mimed laughter as I pulled her up, "Yeah yeah, laugh it up."

I whistled and pointed towards the south, indicting the Super Mutant Master with the minigun that was standing on a small bunker-ish construction that was made of I-beams, "Oh, feeling reckless today, aren't ya?" Sarah asked as we took off.

As we were about to reach the end of the trench, the green bastard took notice of us. We both ran faster as he poured pounds of hot lead at us until we slide into cover, Sarah grabbed my attention and pulled out a frag grenade. I smiled under my breathing mask and pulled out one of my own as she told me, "Wait for the reload."

We pulled the pins and waited, the ugly green bastard shouted at us right as his gun ran out, "I'm going to eat your arms, when you're dead hum-AHH!"

A couple of explosions interrupted him as I jumped up and climbed out of the trench, firing Wanda into the freaks head. He tried to punch me but a couple of blasts from Sarah's shotgun knocked him back a step, within seconds I was standing on his corpse, the dead Mutant's mingun in my hands, "Sweet, did you find any ammo?"

I whistled in quick succession and Sarah nodded before she took my backpack for me, grunting under the weight as she replaced it with the minigun's, "How the fuck do you carry this thing? Nevermind, you probably have a Buffout addiction from all that weight lifting... Anyway, two thirds of a magazine in the gun and two empty spare magazines in the spare magazine backpack."

I hung the minigun on the included backpack before me and Sarah ran back to the trench and fought our way back towards the center before we caught up to one of the mech-keepers in an outdated set of Talon combat armour standing next to a sentry-bot, he greeted us with a smile, "Hey you two, we need to keep pushing on the south flank, but Flash Smoker over here is low on cells, either of you got some to spare?"

Sarah nodded as she reached into my backpack, she pulled out three electron charge packs and handed them to the mech-keeper, "Better be grateful, that's my ammo as well you know."

"Thanks, say Jason," I nodded as he addressed me, "Phil and Bulk Bullets over on the north side could use some more ammo, you gonna use that thing?"

Well obviously, why else would I lug this heavy thing around. I whistled and Sarah nodded, "He'll see if anything is left in it when we get there."

"Eh, could be worse I guess, but I'm sure you'll put that thing to good use." Both of our Pip-boys chimed, a quick glance showed an optional objective, *optional objective; bring at least one hundred five millimeter rounds to Phil so he can reload Bulk Bullets. Reward; robot assistance during the battle*. We turned around and were about to start running when the mech-keeper continued, "Hey, if we make it through this, drinks are on me!"

"I may hold you to that, come on Jason." I whistled my acceptance and we continued to the north. Both of us ignored our Pip-boys when they chimed again, likely informing us of our *optional reward; free alcohol*.

We got half way through the trench when an Overlord jumped into our path, a extra large super sledgehammer in its left hand. The monstrosity turned in our direction and growled, Sarah got on one knee as she aimed Cosmo and her riot shotgun with the akimbo method, meanwhile I spun the minigun up, ready to empty however many rounds were necessary. Bring it greenskin.

We opened fire, Sarah holding ground in front of me as I tracked the meathead's meaty head. Sarah jumped to the side of the trench as the Overlord slammed its super sledgehammer into the ground where she was mere seconds prior. The Overlord roared before it charged me, I gritted my teeth as the super sledgehammer destroyed the ceramic plates and dented the underlying steel ones with ease. I slammed into the trench wall and didn't have a second to breath before the Mutant picked me up in its right hand.

"I... Is!.. hun-GRY!!!" It yelled in my face, I coughed, the stench managing to work its way through my breathing mask and sickened me. A couple of shotgun blasts to the beast's back caused it to turn around and roar at Sarah, "You, next!"

I blew a high pitched whistle as I aimed the minigun with only one hand and pulled the trigger, my left arm having been pinned to my side, it couldn't have been more perfect if the Mutant bastard was able to drop its jaw; the bastard didn't even have a second to look at the spinning barrels of the minigun before a hail of five millimeter rounds plowed into its face. The headless beast dropped me and I jumped to the side just before its corpse hit the ground with a loud thud.

"You okay?" I nodded after I rolled onto my back, the minigun's backpack propping me up as I ripped my breathing mask off, my breaths coming too quick and shallow for them to be of any use, "You sure? That was a pretty heavy hit you took."

I gave her a thumbs-up and kept gasping, Sarah shook her head as she took her med-kit out of her backpack, "Hold on, I'll get you patched up." She told me as she opened the med-kit, "Keep still, this isn't going to feel nice."

She pulled a stimpak out, moved my armour and shirt out of the way and stabbed me with the syringe in between my ribs, I ground my teeth together as she pulled the syringe out and repeated the process five more times. I could feel my cracked ribs healing as the stimulants worked their magic, it burned, itched and made me almost scream. Fucking damn!

After a moment of internal swearing, I gave Sarah a thumbs up and she helped me to my feet, "You know, if you weren't a ex morphine addict, I could've gave you a shot."

I glared at her from under my visor and reattached my breathing mask, "Yeah yeah yeah, well it's your own damn fault." I nodded, more than a little ashamed, as I picked up and tied the Overlord's super sledgehammer to my backpack and she grunted under the additional weight. I motioned to the north impatiently and she shook her head, "You're right, let's hurry up, I wanna get this shit done too."

I nodded as we moved onwards, within a few minutes we arrived at our destination and found one of the mech-keepers taking cover behind a sentry bot, "Hey mech boy, how about some bullets?" Sarah yelled as we approached.

"Boy am I glad to see you two; listen, one of those mutie bastards threw a emp grenade at me and Bulky, but before I could take a shot at him the coward ran off, can you two go find him and kill him, I'd hate to get pinned down without robot support when we really need them."

"Huh, I thought you were just out of bullets?" Sarah asked.

"Nah, low but not out. Besides, I have plenty of backup ammo on a friend of mine, if I only knew where the prick ran off to. So, what do you say?"

I nodded and Sarah took the initiative, "Yeah, we'll find the zap Mutant, but Jason over here is gonna need some of those spare bullets your friend is bringing."

"Heh, you drive a hard bargain, what the hell. Go find this Master bastard and you can have a few hundred rounds when Mack brings 'em." The mech-keeper offered.

Our Pip-boys chimed and I looked down, *optional objective; find and kill the Super Mutant Master that's carrying emp grenades. Reward; several hundred rounds of five millimeter*.

Sarah said our farewells and we started hunting, she would get up in close range and draw fire while I would drop the Mutants with a nice three-oh-eight round to the head. After the third Master that we killed, Sarah called me over using the short range radios in our Pip-boys, a result of more than a few late nights on Sarah's part, "Jason, get over here, quick!"

I hung my sniper on the metal backpack and pulled out Wanda, a quick removal of her stock and the addition of a suppressor turned her into a close quarters weapon. Within seconds I was at her side behind one of the barricades the muties slap together, she gave a agitated nod to it as she spoke, "Look over it and tell me what you see."

I rolled my eyes before I laid the minigun down and lifted myself over the rampant to observe what had set her off; sitting around a fire with a charred corpse impaled over it were three Brutes, two basics and a Master. A quick peek at the corpse revealed it wasn't so much charred as it was wearing black combat armour.

I dropped back down and nodded as she told me the plan, "Crossfire, you sneak up on the right, I'll draw fire over to the left."

I gave a thumbs up and started sneaking around the barricade, Seriously, I know Mutants are dumb but eating on the job? I shook my head as I judged the next gap in cover, I rather not risk it, better use my module.

I pulled up my Pip-boy and selected items, aid and finally Stealth-boy-module. With a unseen grin, I pressed use and watched myself disappear from sight, I better tell Sarah her module worked, she's gonna be fucking ecstatic to find out.

With that in mind, I continued sneaking towards a pile of scrap that would make a good piece of cover. I ducked behind it and laid down, the bulky minigun and its backpack were placed beside me as I pulled out a couple of grenades and a few spare magazines, things were gonna get hairy, real quick.

Sarah must've thrown a grenade or three because I heard one of the super freaks yell, "Gonna blow!"

I took that as my cue and threw two of my own into the bunch, the muties that weren't running towards Sarah started looking around for me, but Wanda made short and silent work of them. I always enjoyed that about Wanda, Super Mutants believe that the louder the gun, the more damage it does. In fact, they also believe that suppressed or silenced guns can't hurt them, but thirty five-fifty-six rounds will hurt anything, even deathclaws.

I jumped out of cover after the last mutie dropped, my module choosing that moment to deactivate as well, and approached the fire while Sarah walked over with a few new EMP grenades in her combat webbing, "Hey Jason, we got him. You wanna go back now?"

I looked over at Sarah and motioned for her to come closer, once she did, I reached over, grabbed our fellow Talon's dogtags and read them, sighing as I handed them to Sarah.

"Name, Ben Haggerty Macklemore. Date of birth, June 19 2045. Preference, none. Blood type, AB POS. Nickname, Thrifty. Huh, so where's the ammo box he had?" She asked, I shrugged as I turned back to pick-up my stuff. Sarah found the ammo box after a few minutes and loaded the minigun's spare magazines, which were placed in the backpack for me to carry. Ah, the comforting weight of excessive spare ammo.

After a half of an hour, we had finally finished the last of the outside defenders and were about to breach the capitol building. Sarah had found a fat-man and even a mini-nuke for it while I had almost five hundred rounds of ammo for the minigun; we were too late to save Phil but Sarah was able to finish fixing Bulk Bullets, so it wasn't a total lost.

"Okay, reports say there's a behemoth in here. Sarah here will hit it with a nuke while the rest of us cover her, make us proud doll face." The sergeant told us while winking at Sarah.

"Oh shut the fuck up sarge, I got this." She replied as she shouldered the mobile artillery. I made sure to stay a few extra feet back and to the side as she did so.

"Just watch your aim better than you watch your mouth. Now then, let's finish this and get paid." With that, he kicked the door in and jumped out of the way, massive chips and chunks of rock and tile bouncing everywhere.

"Sarah, Jason, you two mind throwing some grenades in there?!" I whistled and pulled out two frag grenades as Sarah did the same, a quick trick left both of the grenades pinless and spoonless, we gave them a quick cook before they were tossed in.

Four explosions rang out, Sarah's grenades were less stable due to her tendency to pack them herself, but made a much bigger boom. Although personally, I rather play hopscotch in a minefield than be anywhere near her grenades, but I'd never tell her that... mainly because a minefield is safer than a angry Sarah.

I ran in and focused, VATS activating to slow the world to a crawl, I picked my targets and released several bursts of five-fifty-six rounds into various heads. Some dropped, some didn't. Those that didn't were wiped up when Sarah came in and repeated my performance.

We continued like this for a few minutes, room by room and hallway by hallway until we stood outside of the rotunda, I looked over at Sarah and she nodded, "Let's make some motherfucking noise."

Julie wasn't a smart woman, even though she lived in Springfield, she applied to Vault Eighty-Seven. When her husband went missing, in a Vault no less, she simply trusted the Vault-Tec officials. When she woke up on an operating table, she simply assumed she was there for some surgery she forgot she needed due to the drugs.

Needless to say, while she was easily the dumbest dumb blonde joke in existence, she was also the oldest Super Mutant in the area, which meant, for those of you who failed mutant physiology, she was the biggest, strongest, toughest Super Mutant and lacked anything resembling mental stability. Her memories had faded and most were lost, replaced by the burning desire to kill, eat and "breed" more Super Mutants.

In shorter terms- "Hey fat, retarded and ugly!" -that.

But, maybe she wasn't too far gone, she still had enough frame of mind to recognize an insult, even if it took her about ten seconds to do so, that's actually pretty quick for a Super Mutant Behemoth.

"Why isn't the fucking thing doing anything?"
"Should I just nuke it?"
"Maybe it's trying to think of a comeback?"
"Than it definitely lost the insult contest."
"Hello, do I blow his balls off or what?"
"Don't be stupid Sarah, Mutants don't have balls."
"And how do you know?"
"I once overheard some raiders talking about their friend, apparently he tried to rape one of those things."
"Damn, did he live, guy like that deserves to live, if only for his balls."
"Shut up!"
"Why!?"
"Yeah, what's gotten your panties in a bunch?!"

"THAT!" Sarah yelled as she pointed at the behemoth, who was currently watching us all as the two idiots argued.

"Damn, what the hell is wrong with it?"
"Maybe it's nice?"
"Nice you stupid mother- its wearing a belt that's decorated with skulls and heads Carl!"
"Yeah but I overheard some raiders saying they used to have one as a pet till The Vault Saint came."
"Yeah and I was the guy who fired the nukes at China."
"Really, how did you live so long without turning into a ghoul?"
"Shut up Carl."
"No really, you gotta tell me your secrets!"

I grabbed Sarah's arm and pulled her into a nearby doorway. We both turned around and waited, "So, how long do you think they got?"

I did some math, considered how the mutie hasn't killed them yet, cross-referenced that to how loud they were being as well as the half dozen other Mutants that were just as stumped as the behemoth and held up three fingers.

Two seconds later, a massive fire hydrant club crashed into Carl, who yelled something about wrecking balls as he flew back, which caused Sarah to yell out of the doorway, "Shut the fucking hell up Carl!"

I tapped Sarah's shoulder and we charged, I took position behind Bulk Bullets as the sentry bot fired a missile, the mingun barking under the stocky robot's right arm. Sarah fired the fat man at the behemoth and unceremoniously dropped it for Cosmo, shooting bursts of laser fire at the Overlord pair.

A couple of twi-beams in my direction forced me to duck as Bulk Bullets took the heat of the deadly weaponized light. I whistled at Sarah over the sounds of battle, barely getting her attention, and pointed at the overlords, "I'm trying, I'm trying."

I rolled my eyes and pulled a flashbang out, I tossed it before covering my helmeted ears with my hands, the characteristic bang reduced to a deep thud. I grabbed my twelve-point-seven and a combat knife, within seconds the Stealth-boy-module was activated, thus allowing me to rush into the room and take up a flanking position on the right. I held the knife in my left hand with only two of my fingers holding the foregrip and started shooting, Thank you stacked mags and Sargent Pliskin!

I killed a Brute with a assault rifle without the Mutant bastards noticing something was up, before they could find out about me I had already started changing positions; this time behind the Behemoth with an idea, my common sense kicking in to bitch at me. Bad stupid plan, choose life Jason!

I ran at the mountain of muscle and jumped, barely able to catch the bottom of the shopping cart cage with my off hand, I hope you're really, really fucking stupid.

I holstered my twelve-point-seven and started climbing up, unfortunately, my module gave out just as I had climbed on top of the cage, Shit.

"There! Get that human!" Fuck! The Behemoth swung its fire hydrant club, which nearly sent me flying, DAMN!!!

I stabbed my knife into the Mutant's thick hide and pulled out my other knife, This better work! I stabbed the other knife into the Mutant and pulled my left knife out, pulling myself up and stabbing the unoccupied knife higher up, mentally praying for a little luck.

"Hey big boy, I'm going to brush your teeth, with lead and lasers!" Sarah yelled as her shotgun and Cosmo started peppering the Behemoth's face, Heh, when's the last we brushed our teeth?!

"Little, pest! I eat you, whole!" Another swing of the club once again nearly sent me flying. I growled as I continued climbing the unaware mutant. If this doesn't get me danger pay, than nothing will!

I pulled myself to the Behemoth's thick neck and stabbed both of my knives into the thick folds, side by side. Grabbing the two knives with my off hand, I reached down and tried to grab a grenade.

"Go, go, go!" A masculine voice yelled from behind me, I craned my neck and looked on with wide eyes, DAMN! Not the fucking Enclave!

I counted at least five Enclave soldiers and a officer; two grunts, a hellfire and two tesla with two plasma rifles, a incinerator and two gatling lasers in that order, the officer pointed his plasma pistol at me and fired, the bolts coming within inches of my hand.

The behemoth roared but didn't take his attention off of my fellow mercs, I grunted as I unhooked the minigun, barely catching it before it fell, and pointed at the officer with one hand, Fuck you! Fuck your green spitting pistol! And fuck. The. Enclave!

The minigun roared its agreement to my internal curses, lead raining down and shredding the unarmoured officer through sheer rate of fire. I held the trigger down and waved the minigun at the hellfire, forcing him into cover as the massive amount of kick threatened to dislodge me.

After a more time than justified, I finally released the trigger and glanced at my Pip-boy *Minigun, 87/240* Damn, better make it worth my while.

The Behemoth swung its club again, my change in location revealed a Overlord that was next to a terminal. I once more 'aimed' as well as I could and VATS activated, yes!

The world slowed to a crawl as my Pip-boy ran the math, giving me terrible odds on him, but odds all of the same. I smiled as the world sped up, two dozen bullets flew down, what few that hit shredded chunks from the muties head, which didn't kill him.

Once more, the Behemoth swung, giving me a good look at Sarah and the others, How are you still alive Carl, are you such a fuck up you can't even die right?

I whistled and pointed the heavy weapon at the terminal, Sarah nodded while hanging her Laser RCW back on its straps. She ran, dodging lead, plasma and lethal light on her way to the terminal, and the Overlord near it.

I sprayed at the Overlord as Sarah blasted it with her shotgun, knocking the monster deeper into the wide cone my poor 'aiming' resembled. Sarah finished it with her shotgun as the minigun ran dry, but before I could drop myself from my vantage point I heard a noise that chilled me to my bones.

The distinctive whoosh that a incinerator made when it fired, the ball of flame must've hit me in my back because I wasn't engulfed in flames, which meant, shit, shit, SHIT!

I dropped the minigun and pulled my knives out, causing me to slide down the behemoth's back and land on top of the cage. I pulled my sniper off of its hook and struggled with the flaming backpack, Fire bad, fire very bad!

I yanked the backpack off and threw it down, hitting the hellfire on the head with a sickening crunch, Fuck yeah, unintentional kill. I picked my sniper up and turned back towards the Enclave when, to my shock, the hellfire stood up and aimed his damnable weapon at me, Nope!

I jumped off of the cage to my left mere seconds before the first ball of flame hit, several more following the first. The Behemoth roared as it turned towards the Enclave and I fell to the ground, landing with a roll that ended with me looking up at a pair of a Australian plasma pistols. Sarah laughed as she holstered her two energy weapons and help me to my feet, "There, now we're even."

I rolled my eyes as I hung the sniper on my back, soon followed by my back pack. "You okay, you're helmet's on fire."

I almost tried to yank the helmet off, only to stop as Sarah started laughing again, "Sorry, I couldn't resist."

I punched her in the arm and turned around, the Behemoth was ripping the enclave apart, literally in the hellfire's case. Good, fuck those guys. Especially fuck that one.

"Okay, the turrets are online and accepted our Pip-boy's IFF system, let's watch the-" She started only to stop. I looked over to see why Sarah stopped, finding her staring down the barrel of a M1 Garand.

"Nighty night, Talon scum." The power armour wearing man said, I didn't have to guess who it was, I knew who the fuck it was, Sarah knew as well.

"The Vault Saint." She growled, I focused on my VATS, only to find out it was still recharging. "Well ain't this a way to go?"

The bastard chuckled, "Yeah, not everyone in hell can claim to have been killed by me... just most of the new arrivals."

My hand inched towards my sub, thankfully Sarah got his attention before he could notice it, "Let's go out with a bang then, shall we?"

Author's Note

If you were looking for a story about two people from a literary war torn planet finding peace, love, tolerance and harmony in the wonderful land of Equestria then I have three words for you...

There's the door. Buh-bye, this story isn't for you now leave. If you were looking for a story about two rough and tough war ready, blood thirsty mercenaries who were thrown into a situation far outside of their normal one, and somehow coming out ahead of all of the odds against them, then welcome, come on in and grab a drink.

Things are gonna break the mold for HiE in this bitch. How so, how about a short exempt from later on?

"Don't you mean anypony?" I could tell that this one was gonna be trouble, the way she had pressed her face against Sahar's visor was disturbing, but I wasn't about to question shit.

Magic is real here, those two giddy-up people told us that and, seeing as to we didn't see any proof that it wasn't, we believed them.

"No," Sarah replied, peeling the pink pony's face off of her helmet, "If I said something, then I probably meant it. Now get your fucking rape face looking smile and shove it somewhere private before I crack your skull open."

Yep, that's gonna happen.

Please comment, it took me a long time to get this how I wanted it so please, tell me what you think of this chapter.

Yeah, two Fallout OC's sent to Equestria, we'll just have to see where this goes.