The C. M. C. Smoke W. E. E. ... D.

by Marnssj

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 867

The Cutie Mark Crusaders try weed-smoking.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders try weed-smoking.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-19 00:30:01 UTC

Hey Hey Hey Hey .........

One fine day in Ponyville, the Cutie Mark Crusaders were gathered in their clubhouse; only, they weren't doing anything at the moment.

"It sure is boring around here.  I wonder what Babs is up to?" Scootaloo mused aloud.

"Probably doing some cool big-pony big-city stuff," Sweetie Belle said.

"Hmm, that gives me an idea," Apple Bloom said, rummaging through her saddle bags.  "Ah was talking to Tree Hugger earlier an' she had some right fine suggestions on how we could get a cutie mark.  Do y'all wanna smoke some weeds?"

"I'm bored enough to try anything at this point," Scootaloo sighed.

Apple Bloom slung her bag over her back and trotted out the door, her two friends following close behind.  Apple Bloom lead them over to a small chimney-smoker she had set up for just this occassion.

"Alright, lemme jes' light this thing up an' we can start smokin' the weeds!" Apple Bloom said excitedly as she chucked some wood chunks into the stove and began striking a flint underneath the tinder.

"So is this what they call a bong?" Scootaloo asked.

"Yes, it's very important for weed-smokin', according to Tree Hugger," Apple Bloom replied.

"Wow, nice, I can't wait to smoke weeds like a big pony," Sweetie Belle chirped.

Having lit the fire, the wood began to pyrolize, turning into a fine grey smoke that wafted slowly up the chimney and into the air.  Apple Bloom took a tea bell out of her bag and started mashing as many weeds into it as she could before shutting it closed and lowering it into the top of the chimney, where it could be infused with smoke.

"So what are we smoking?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"These are jes' some weeds Ah gathered earlier, should be pretty good stuff.  Plus I scored some primo grass from Tree Hugger.  Some dandelions in there too, bet those will be tasty," Apple Bloom replied.

"How long do we smoke it for?" Scootaloo inquired.

"Um, 'fer twenny minutes, every day,' according to Tree Hugger's instructions," Apple Bloom said, her brow furrowing as she tried to remember the exact phrasing.

"What, we gotta do this every day?  But I just want the weeds now," Scootaloo whined.

"Ah'm sure that one smokin' session should suffice," Apple Bloom smiled knowingly.  The three continued to chat as they waited for the weeds to finish smoking.

"Alright, let's do this already, it's gotta have been twenty minutes by now," Scootaloo said impatiently.

"Well, it's been more like five minutes, but since this is our first time, we can probably make an exception," Apple Bloom snickered.  "If we like it, we can jes' smoke it for more to make up the time difference."

Apple Bloom pulled the tea bell from the chimney and opened it, revealing a wilted and slightly charred mess of foliage.

"So, how many do we eat?" Scootaloo asked, eyeing the weeds suspiciously.

"Don't eat four, I know a colt who said his friend died after eating four weeds," Sweetie Belle chimed in authoritatively.

"Alright, so we each eat jes' one, an' if we like it we can have a second, but no more than that.  Agreed?" Apple Bloom looked to her two friends, and they each nodded to one another.

Tentatively, they grabbed up their prize and tried it, each making a face of slight disgust.  And then they waited.

"So, is this how it's supposed to taste?" Scootaloo asked, breaking the silence.  "'Cuz it kinda tasted bad."

"Ah don't rightly know, never done it before," Apple Bloom replied.

"Ooh, I think I'm feeling it!" Sweetie Belle squeaked.

"Ohh, Ah'm startin' to feel it too, Ah think," Apple Bloom giggled, the two of them beginning to sway back and forth and chuckle.

Scootaloo just sat there.  "I'm not feelin' it, guys," she said, feeling somewhat let down.  "Should I take some more?"

"Hehe, go ahead, but go easy on it, could just be a delayed reaction, haha," Apple Bloom said between laughs.

Scootaloo tried some more of the weeds, but as she sat there watching her friends, she began to realize how ridiculous they were acting.

"Yeah, I don't think this stuff is working for me," Scootaloo groaned.

"Oh wow, I'm seeing colors, and hearing sounds!" Sweetie Belle gasped.

"Me too!" said Apple Bloom.  "What kinds of colors and sounds?"

"Everything is so green, and I can hear music," Sweetie Belle hummed.

"We're surrounded by green, there's trees and plants all around us.  And there's a pony over there with a boom-box," Scootaloo grumbled.

"Don't harsh my buzz, Scootaloo.  I can feel my mind expanding," Sweetie Belle crooned.  "I'm open to all possibilities in the universe right now.  Like, what if we're not real, and we're just made up creations of somepony's imagination?"

"Wow, that's deep," Apple Bloom whispered in awe.

"Heh, that's actually a little funny, and you're never funny, Sweetie Belle," Scootaloo chuckled.  "Hey, maybe this stuff's starting to get to me after all, haha!"

Just then, Applejack came around the corner.  "Hey y'all, what're you three up to?"

"Oh hi Applejack, we just finished smoking some weeds," Scootaloo replied.

"Tree Hugger told us how, hehe," Apple Bloom bubbled.

"Hahaha, wanna try some?" Sweetie Belle offered.

"Treehugger did WHAT?!" Applejack shouted.

"Cutie Mark Crusaders Weed Smokers!  YAY!!!" they shouted.  Applejack fainted.