Guardian of the Everfree

Skitters woke me at first light, and we set off for the surprisingly fast journey through the forest. Ponyville itself was strangely empty, until I found the town center. A showpony unicorn had captivated an audience, and she was blocking my way into what looked like the town hall.

The unicorn was doing magic tricks for the massive crowd. I could have sworn I saw one drooling. An argument broke out between her and some other ponies, at which it became a talent show dedicated to her one-upping and humiliating the others. I hopped up onto stage and trotted past her as she threw a tornado at a Pegasus.

"What are you doing on the Great and Powerful Trixie's stage?!" she demanded, noticing me in front of the door.

"I need to see the mayor," I told her, "and unless you know about what happened to the mailmare I was supposed to take through the Everfree forest, I don't care about anything you have to say."

"If you knew just how great and powerful The Great and Powerful Trixie is, you'd change your mind!"

"You could raise the sun for all I care." I got back to the door, only to be lifted off the ground by her spell. "Hey, let me go!"

"I'll have you know that The Great and Powerful Trixie once vanquished an Ursa major!" She twisted, spun, and manipulated my body in midair for a few seconds before setting me on the ground. When I took a look at myself, I had been turned into some kind of balloon form of myself.

"Change me back, or else," I ordered, as calmly as I could manage.

"Or else what?" A large needle appeared in front of me, over the unicorn's smug face.

I didn't bother saying anything, instead dodging the needle as it flew towards me. I discovered this form was amazingly light when I attempted to tackle Trixie to the floor. I only succeeded in latching onto her side, but after evading the needle a second time, I heard her cry out in pain. Her giant needle had stuck right into her flank, and in a panic, she undid both the needle and the spell she'd cast on me.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie is... tired now, and must return to her
cart," she said, galloping off stage. With her out of the way, I returned to the town hall door. I gave up on it after finding that the door refused to open.

I approached an orange earthpony who was talking with a few others. "Excuse me, but do you know where the post office is?"

"It's right around the corner there, miss." She pointed to my left. "It ain't open now, though, it's too late."

"Okay, thanks. Have you heard of a pony named Jewel Carrier? A blue earthpony? She's been missing for a while now."

"Can't say I have. Sorry."

"Thanks anyway." I sighed before walking away, catching looks of confused disgust on the faces of the earthpony's friends.

I heard one say, "What's wrong with her? She smells like she's afraid of soap or something."

"Come on now, Rainbow, maybe she just can't afford to take a bath," the earthpony said. It was then that I remembered that the people of Equestria probably bathed more than once every few weeks and didn't roll around in mud to re-mask their scent.