The Hitchhiker's Guide to Equestria

by Velociraptor

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Original Character, Trixie, Comedy, Other, Adventure, Flim and Flam, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1003

There are several different universes all that happen to be connecting

As stated in the 'Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy' "For every universe there is another complete and totally different universe that is willing to kill you and devour your flesh." This story is not about that universe, but another one consisting of colorful talking ponies that just so happen to have a darker side and bake other ponies into cupcakes, this story is not about that either. It's about a universe in which a red and white unicorn named Dent resides.

Published 2012-06-05 01:44:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-05 01:44:03 UTC

Prologue

In a small town, beyond the reaches of the Everfree Forest, lives a pegasus named Dent. Who happens to live next to the house of faithfull student and element of harmony, Twilight Sparkle. Inside this said house lies a copy of 'The Hitchhikkers Guide to Galaxy'. Inside this said copy lies a passage about parallel universes. The book then burst in to flames for no apparent reason and does not pertain to further plot devolpment in the future.

"Mr. Dent, is it? Twilight said as she walked up to Dent's house holding a ploclamation from Princess Celestia.

"For the last time I'm not interested in selling out my home for you to practice magic!" Dent replied hastily.

"Actually I want to take you out to eat"

"You WHAT!"

"Pick me up at seven O' Clock." Twilight then left, leaving a stunned Dent in her place.

Never before had Twilight ever cared about Dent, in fact he believed that she hated him. For years she wanted to buy his house off of him for magic purposes. He had woken up several times to see large knives, swords, machetes, spears, and spiders, next to his bed once he woke up. He could assume that these were either from Twilight or Pinkie Pie. Sometimes he was ignited from an unknow source when he was around gasoline or attacked from above with lightning when around water. This actually was becoming a daily thing for him.

After standing in an awkward silence for nearly an hour. It was only two, but Dent still had many chores to do around town. First, he had to work as a construction worker. Then, he had to work his second job as a therapist. Finally, he had to make sure his best friend, Flank Prefix, didn't get too drunk and hurt somepony.

As the day went on Dent became more and more nervous about his date. He had, in fact, had never went on a date before today. Dent was actually just fine until he heard a voice inside his head. "No need to be nervous Dent your date will go exactly as planned."

"Who are you?"

"Im your inner stud"

"Really are you here to give me dating advice?!"

"No I'm going to eat your soul"

"Oh..It's you again, Mysterious Monster that Lives Inside my Head and is Going to Eat my Soul."

"You do realize I'm the only creature in you head."

"Shut up, can I just enjoy my date!"

By now several ponies were staring at him for talking to himself. One particular green unicorn said something to the pony next to her, but nopony would ever know what the unicorn said except the other pony, in the next hundred years five ponies would devote the rest of their lives to find out what she said, but they all failed myserbly.

It was now about the time for Dent's date, he decided not to check up on Flank. He then started talking to himself once again. "Nothing, can go wrong right? Right?" His self ranting was ended by a knock on the door. He opened the door to see a very impatient looking Twilight.

"Its seven thirty now we only have a few minutes." Twilight said looking at Dent in the eyes.

"Sorry Twilight its just…WHAT THE-"

Before Dent could finish his sentence Twilight morphed into Flank Prefix and then into a changeling before his eyes.

"Listen we don't have much time! Any minute now Ponyville will be destroyed, and I want to help you escape, but I'm not sure how to escape because I left my copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide to Equestria at your house, but I brought my lucky hydra tooth."

"Ok Flank either your really drunk and wearing a changeling a costume or your trying to pull a practical joke on me."

"Please! Just believe me. I haven't had a single drink all day."

Dent must have taken to long to answer because Flank just pushed him aiside with quite abit of force. Flank then proceded to walk into Dent's room and looked beneath his bed. After a few seconds Flank pulled out a book with four words that nopony in that room would ever forget Hitchikker's Guide to Equestria.

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to Equestria? What the Tartarus is that?" Dent said being very skeptical.

"A book that will can teach any hitchhiker to survive Equestria, from surviving an Ursa Major to the best cider. This is the guide."

"So your a changeling?"

Flank just facehoofed at the fact that his pony mind couldn't comprehend this new knowledge. Then again he was drunk as famous phillosopher Event Horizon when she came up with the theory that magic still resides in the body after death allowing for the unholly practice used by wealthy ponies everywhere to gain or obtain magic for themselves to use for their plesure.

"Yes I'm a changeling and I've been lying to you for years." Flank said handing a small cup with a tea-like liquid in it to Dent. Dent then took a sip of this liquid.

"You know this drink tastes almost, kinda, sort of, in a way, kinda, almost, not really like tea."

"Yeah it tastes different for everypony. Mine tastes like love."

Everypony was starting to feel good about this whole situation, until they walked outside and saw the princess of the night speaking to the citizens of ponyville, "CITIZENS OF PONYVILLE," she began "WE HAVE WORKED OUT A PLAN WITH OUR SISTER. THIS TOWN WILL NOW BE DESTROYED TO MAKE THE CAPITOL OF THE NEW LUNAR REPUBLIC. Somepony must have gotten in touch with Luna to ask her if she would stop. "NO WE WILL NOT STOP, BUT YOU DO HAVE THE PRIVILEGE TO HAVE YOUR DECENDANTS NOT HAVE TO LIVE IN A MONARCHY!" Luna then created a large ball of dark magic and shot it towards Ponyvile. Dent closed his eyes and hoped it would be over soon.

HQAVE

By now several ponies where staring