Your Human and You: Twisted Product

by MonolithiuM

Chapter Three

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After a few more strokes, it was complete, at least the human thought. He took a couple steps back and appraised the work. No, not finished yet at all. It would be morning soon, only an hour or so left. He was an early riser though, so he had gotten plenty of sleep. He would be needing it. The human added several more details before smiling happily and turning to leave.

Before he did, the human gave a nod of thanks to Julian and his mother before climbing out the window he came in. He could use the door, but he preferred to be discreet.


Almata counted the bits from her pocketbook on the nightstand by her bed. She had nine-hundred and change, plenty enough to buy a fit human for work at the plantation. Looking up into the mirror, the mare checked her leaf-green mane and golden yellow coat before applying a shade of eyeliner above her hazelnut eyes. Nodding to herself in the mirror, Almata opened the door to her hotel room and locked it behind her, slipping the key inside her pocketbook along with the coin purse that held the eighteen coins which were valued at nine-hundred bits each.

The auction would be beginning in a few hours, so Almata thought it best to make the excursion now before traffic mounted and so that she could get a good look at some of the stock. It was a forty-five minute trot from her hotel to Trundebald Square, and she intended to be early.

Today was the day she’d be getting a human assistant.


Serin poured over the notes she had collected from the owner of the slaughterhouse. She had been meticulously searching for any clues that would lead to the capture of her suspected human murderer, scratching out notes and comments into her small leather-bound notepad. Sighing, she closed the pad and rubbed at her sunken eyes.

She needed sleep, and plenty of it, but as long as this human was running about and slaughtering the griffons of Parthona, she couldn’t. It had been nearly forty-eight hours, and the trail had gone cold. There was no telling where in the city the human could be by now, but he’d have to turn up sooner or later. The description he retrieved from the owner of the slaughterhouse was vague, at best, but Serin knew that her human was all, lithe with muscle, and acted oddly.

That, and he was all alone on the streets of Parthona. It very well could be that he had already been caught and butchered, ready to be served as a meal to a griffon family. Wouldn’t that be nice, the murderer murdered and consumed by the aggrieved. One could only wish…

“Alright hatchlings, look alive, we’ve got a double homicide on Trundebald Square in an apartment building. Any takers?” Lieutenant Greaves scanned the sparsely-decorated offices where officers would gather intelligence and evidence, looking for some griffon to take the call.

“Right here, sir!” Serin did a short hop and glide to land a few paws away from the Lieutenant, her satchel and dagger strapped to her sides. The Lieutenant flicked his eyes up and down her form before raising a single brow.

“Aren’t you already working the slaughterhouse case?”

Serin nodded. “I believe the two might be related. If I can get even a single shred of evidence pointing to any of our suspects, it will be a success.” She watched the Lieutenant as he stroked his beak, eagerly awaiting his response. She grinned when he shrugged.

“Sure, if you find anything, you come to me first; got it?”

Serin gave him a thumbs-up and leapt out of the second story window gracefully, unfurling her wings and taking off through the airspace of the city. The Lieutenant shook his head and muttered, “we do have stairs, y’know,” before going back inside his office and closing the door.


The human snuck carefully toward the huge white tent with all of the griffons and equine creatures gathered around it. The equines were strange, colorful, and new. Perhaps they bled different colors as well? Time and planning would tell, he needed only to escape from this city. Though he might be considered a stupid animal, being contained in one city, with walls and other carnivorous beasts that ate him, would not be smart.

If these equines were like those from home, he doubted they’d try to eat him. Perhaps they’d keep him as a pet, or maybe labor? Once again, time and planning would tell. Licking the last dregs of blood from his thumb, the human stalked closer to where the humans were kept beneath the tent. Most of the crowd had gathered beyond the tent, where what looked like a podium and stage had been erected.

Getting past the patrolling guards was easy. They were too predictable, tired, and green. Killing wasn’t smart here, even though it would be so easy, too many possible witnesses, and too much on the line. The humans were kept in cages behind a black cloth divider, probably to keep the animals from chasing anything that might be in the streets. Excellent.

The human approached a cage with another human. It had black hair, blue eyes, and a lithe build. Not quite as tall, or as well-endowed, but it would do nicely. A simple few motions unlocked the cage, and the killer guided the human out.

The human stared into the eyes of the murderer and chirped, then made to leave the enclosure. Throwing his arms around the animal, the human began to squeeze the life out of it with a chokehold. All of its thrashing and frantic maneuvering did nothing but speed its arrival to a state of unconsciousness.

The human then loosened his arms and dragged the mindless doppelgänger to a pile of rope, sheets, and poles. He dropped the human on the floor, bound its mouth and arms, and buried it in cloth, poles, and extra twine. It would make a good meal for some griffon family, he was sure.

Then, he shed the cloak-like, blood-stained rags he adorned and climbed into the cage, naked. Any griffon or pony that looked at the cage would not be able to tell the difference between him or the human that had occupied the same cell only a minute or so ago.

The human grinned at the other humans as they cowered in their iron pens.


Serin landed gracefully outside of the apartment building, a town guard frowning heavily at its entrance. She made her way to him and revealed her badge before he could stop her. A claw rushed out to her shoulder, grounding her in place. He said nothing, only looked into her eyes with a look of absolute despair.

Whatever she was about to find, it would not be good.

She removed the guard’s hand, gently, as he blinked moisture from his eyes and refocused on keeping watch. Serin then made her way to the third floor, apartment 3C, where two more guards were stationed outside and several officers from her station milled about inside. She once again pulled out her badge and moved inside, noting the expressions of her co-workers.

Xavea was clutching her stomach, seated in a corner of the room being comforted by Nyctea. Nyctea gazed into Serin’s eyes and shook her head sadly, rubbing the griffoness’ back slowly. Cricios was fuming as he gripped the edges of a table, his claws digging into the wood and leaving deep gouges. Argestes was being treated for a bloodied claw, his knuckles split and bruised. Some blood was noticeable on the wall.

Worst of all was Hesperus, as he sobbed and raged on his lonesome in an adjoining room, away from everyone else. Serin steeled herself as she saw where most of the commotion was occurring, moving through the now claustrophobic hall towards the lounge facing the Square.

Serin walked inside, went wide-eyed and green-faced, and rushed away to the hallway window to relieve her upset stomach.


Almata waited patiently near the front of the crowd, cradling her saddlebag closely as the auction was preparing to start. A griffin with a well-to-do suit and a disarming smile took his place on the podium, tossing his gavel over and over into the air as he examined the crowd.

“Females and males of all species, the first round of bidding is about to begin for the first three humans we have today! First, an investment for all of you who’d rather hold onto those purse strings! We have this fine young lady!” The announcer’s pitch was followed up with a griffoness leading a small human female with pale skin and a frizzy mane onto the stage.

The human glanced about fearfully, occasionally uttering short chirps and whistles as the crowd examined her. The griffoness spread the girl’s arms and turned her about, displaying the human completely for the bidders.

“She’s just about ready for breeding, and she’s pacified and trained for any of you adventurous types out there. Not too much fat, and not too much muscle. She won’t put up a fight and she’s nice and cheap! Starting bid is five hundred bits!”

Almata kept her hoof down as other ponies and griffons vied for the girl with ever-increasing sums of money. The mare was looking for a worker immediately, not a sex-toy or a worker eventually. She only hoped that things would go a bit faster, the sooner, the better.


Serin’s face betrayed none of her emotions, she had shut everyone else out. She only gazed at the morbid mural before her, carefully brushed onto the wall above the couch in the lounge. The paint streaked down the wall, pooling along the baseboard of the wall before trickling onto the carpet in a few places.

The griffoness refused to glance down at the body of the young griffon cub, his body colorless and limp, with his eyes wide open in shock. His neck was sliced open along the carotid on the right of his neck, a small incision marking the point. Serin had already seen it, she refused to do so again.

The mother’s body was propped up against a bookcase, her head smashed open from behind. The murder weapon was found in its supposed original location, atop a slim stand carved from oak. The griffon’s stone head stared grimly forward, almost like it was also trying to ignore the horror within the room.

“The killer most likely flew into this window, then took the mother by surprise, killing her instantly with the bust over there. Judging by the position of the cub, I would guess that he was unaware of the intruder, most likely he was asleep.” The examiner moved to the couch, caressing the curtain ropes in his talons. “Excuse me, ma’am.”

Serin snapped back to reality, tearing her stricken eyes away from the dark art piece to take a few steps back from the cub. The examiner nodded his thanks and lifted a few feathers from the dead cub’s neck.

“Trachea is crushed. This is the definite cause of death. The cub was stirred by a sound, before the assailant wrapped the curtain’s cords around his throat. That was when the killer strangled him, causing the slight bulging of the eyes from their sockets due to pressure.”

“As for the incision in the neck, as well as the repositioned mother’s body… and the bowl…” The examiner coughed into his fist and looked away for a moment. “…I’d say it’s quite clear why those are the way they are.”

And so, Serin brought her attention back to the gory illustration set against the wall. Two eyes, eternally and gleefully staring down, with a beak filled with razor-sharp teeth set into a smile. The feathers around its neck spread about its shoulders, which faded into chaotic blood-smatters.

“Hey, wait… This couch was moved!”

The griffoness that announced this waved over two other griffons, who each took an end of the couch, careful not to disturb the cub’s body too radically, and began to pull it away from the wall. Serin waited with the rest of the room’s guests, gawking at the cheap lounge furniture being moved with its once-precious cargo riding along with it.

What was behind the couch, written in blood, made Serin drop her notepad and her heart skip a beat.

‘Meat is meat.’


“Sold! To the stallion in the back!” The griffon at the podium clapped as the stallion trotted forward to take the human girl’s leash in his magic, leading the diminutive creature off the stage and through the crowd, salivating as she walked ahead of him. Almata shook her head and turned back to the stage.

“Our second specimen is a treat! Tall, muscular, and with a striking set of eyes, we have our second human!” As the griffon said this, a human with light skin, darkened slightly by Celestia’s sun, walked onto the stage. He wore only a collar, not needing a leash nor a griffoness to lead him. He then sat on the stage and looked forwards toward the crowd.

At first, the announcer seemed confused, only to shrug and continue. “Starting bid is one hundred and fifty bits! One fifty! One hundred seventy-five! Two hundred!” Almata eyed the three other bidders. A pegasus mare, a minotaur bull, and a griffon couple. The mare looked well-off, and the bull was most likely a butcher of some kind. The couple didn’t look too wealthy, so maybe they were looking for a human to use as a pet or a meal?

“Four hundred and fifty-five! Anybody else?” The crowd was silent for a few seconds, and Almata used the time to build the tension. Just as the griffon’s eyes swept over her, Almata raised her hoof and declared her offer.

“Five hundred and thirty bits!”

Almata’s bid served to cow the rest of the crowd, none of them risking getting into a bidding war for one human. She smiled to herself as the human cocked its head to the side, observing her with its azure eyes directly. It let out a few chirps and squeaks, then stood suddenly, surprising its griffon handler.

The mare trotted up to her purchase and tapped the cobble with her hoof. “Here, boy.” The human merely cocked his head again. Almata repeated the action, this time with a whistle, and the human hopped off the stage and landed in front of her. It then cocked its head.

“Good boy! Come.” She turned around, whistled, and the human followed without missing a beat.

Almata smiled widely to herself as she left the square with her purchase in tow. This human was quite the specimen, indeed.


“What are we looking for, Serin?” Caleb had arrived several minutes ago and was holding an evidence satchel in his talons, watching Serin.

The griffoness had lost her prior shocked expression, now determined to find a shred of evidence. “Fingerprints, dammit! Everything points to a human. Well, not a human… but the human. The anomaly mentioned in the slaughterhouse owner’s report.” Serin moved on to another spot on the bloodied wall, inspecting every inch thoroughly.

“Again with the human? Serin, this is getting ridiculous! You’re obsessed!”

Serin stopped her searching and stood, then snapped her stare onto Caleb. The griffon froze at the animalistic gaze, and slowly started backing up. “Serin…? What are you– !”

Serin rushed past Caleb and gripped the window sill. A human auction, occurring right then. It was perfect. All the human would have to do is get bought, then the buyer would get papers confirming ownership and the human could get out of the city using his owner as cover.

“I need officers on me! The auction, get behind the stage, and don’t cause a scene! Go!” Serin leapt out the window and beat her wings, soaring around the square behind the large storage tent. Landing, she moved to speak to a griffon guard standing near a cordoned area. “You there, I’m with the Parthona Investigation Team. You seen anything suspicious recently?”

The guard leaned on his spear and tapped his helm a few times, thinking back. “Can’t say I have. Nothing strange and no trouble.” Serin sighed and looked at the black cordoned era, then shifted back to the guard.

“What’s back there?” Serin asked, moving her gaze between the black cloth and the griffon.

“That’s where the auctioneers are storing the humans for bidding. They’re well behaved for the most part, only one incident this morning.” The guard nodded toward the cordoned area and gestured with his spear. “Seems like one of them riled up the others, had to move up his scheduled auction time so that he would stop spooking the rest.”

Serin’s brows shot up. “May I enter and search the premises?”

The guard nodded and led the way toward the pens. Inside the area were dozens of iron cages with humans calmly staying still, observing one another, or sleeping. One small human female, however, was staring with wide eyes toward a pile of tent equipment. Her brown bangs stopped just short of her eyelashes, and her wide dark eyes refused to move, as if frozen by a primal fear.

“Which of the humans did the rest seem to be so disturbed by?” Serin paced around the cages, coldly examining each of the specimens.

“He was a big fella, black hair, blue eyes, fit too. He just sat there, real calm and patient. The humans in the cages around him, though, they were trying to stay as far away as possible. A few even hurt themselves trying to do so. The rest started whimpering, chirping, all sorts of nervous noises.”

“Which cage was he sitting in?”

The guard tapped an empty iron cage with his spear, a flake or two of rust shedding from the heavy containment unit. “This one here. Nothing wrong with it, far as I can see. Don’t know what made them so spooked.”

A chirp and a whimper came from a small human female with a brown mane and dark eyes. Her eyes were stuck on a pile of cloth, chains, and tent poles. Serin drew her long dagger and slowly approached the pile of junk, watching for any movement whatsoever. After a tense few seconds, Serin lunged at the source of the human’s interest and yanked at the cloth.

A human, bound and gagged, stared up at her with fear in its blue eyes, its limbs tangled in rope, metal, and cloth. The weight of the materials weighed down on its knees and arms, pinning them in uncomfortable positions. Its left arm looked to be disconnected at the shoulder, and its left leg was pale. The weight of the random items pressed down onto its leg, cutting off circulation. The human had been this way for a few hours at least.

She looked to the side, only to pause, lowering her dagger. There, stuffed within the pile, was a ragged and dirty cloth of some kind. Serin dug the dingy fabric out and opened it. A tattered, cloak-like covering saturated in dried blood. It was too large for a griffon, but a tall and built human would fill it perfectly. Dropping the rags, Serin's grip on her dagger increased.

“Was the human in that cage sold?” Serin asked the guard quietly.

The guard hesitantly nodded.

Serin threw her dagger down and flared her wings. “Faust damn it!”


Almata sat in the back of the hired wagon, watching the road heading down the mountain lined with trees and shrubs. A few birds flew overhead, just underneath the small port in the distance. Almata smiled widely, glad to be headed back home with her new human.

Her human, wrapped in a faux-fur blanket and with a simple wooden collar placed around his neck as a placeholder for a proper alloy model, sat quietly behind her. His blue eyes reflected the afternoon light of Griffonia, and with his new owner’s back toward him, he smiled as well.


Author's Note

Next chapter is Equestrian landfall. I've gotten a job at a deli, so updates may slow. But the deli job does provide quite a bit of inspiration. Lots of sharp things, meat, and blood. Fun!

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