Fallout Equestria: Exquisite Drugs
Chapter 1: Expression
Oh mama mo, mama may, mama mi my mo
"Sitting here on a old ass bench, trying to think of whats next".
Ooooooooooh
"High on some Mint-als, they taste all minty and good"
Soooo Gooooooood
"Here on this dirty dead neighborhood"
The process of formulating an opinion. What does it mean to understand the quandaries of reality? Is it really something that can't be understood or is it just a unfeasible idea? What makes ponies do things in the first place, maybe its all some program facade where everypony thinks like some big ol doo doo head. Poopy poopy poopoo...
"Aww goddammit, my high wore off"
A Tangerine colored pony sat on a bench. He wore a delectably stylish shirt that had tears all over it. It was missing a sleeve on his right side and he was lazily chill, hoping some raider wouldn't notice him on the decaying seat. He had stolen some Mint-al from some dead raider corpses on the road and even though he had his way with an attractive dead raider mare who wasn't a decayed bag of bones as of yet. He still couldn't get that feeling of constant fear that he would become just like them at any time.
From the bench he so covetously sat on. He suddenly saw something coming up from the road. He heard chanting from afar and then saw none other than a brown maned mare with green eyes and grey body walking quickly to his direction. Singing something that he couldn't understand until she got really close. On her arm was a PipBuck, and it seemed that she was walking erratically down where he passed.
LittlePip! LittlePip! I am LittlePip, La la la, the savior of the Wasteland, da da da
The chanting would get progressively louder until she suddenly passed by Tangerine, seemingly high out of her mind. Tangerine looked at her and realized that it just might be The Legendary LittlePip just striding through.
"LittlePip?" he said. The funny looking unicorn stopped her erratic walk down the road and turned over to him with a nervous smile.
She ran at him, full speed and making quick headway. Tangerine backed away more into the bench to save himself from the legend who might just fuck him up. He closed his eyes and huddled into a fetal position to await his death.
"Hi there!"
He opened his eyes and found her overjoyed to the point of worry.
"HAVE you read my STORY?" said Littlepip. An out of control smirk on her face.
"Oh Celestia, please don't kill me!"
Littlepip felt confused for a second. Until she realized that he didn't know what she was talking about.
"Oh I'm sorry! I'm just looking for Velvet Remedy, have you seen her around this destroyed neighborhood???"
"No mam, I got no precedence over this area. I'm just a lowly poor pony strivin by, oh lordey"
Littlepip frowned, she knew that there was a lead to her precious. She knew it was her, she could hear the singing from afar.
"Ah what? But, where was that beautiful singing I was hearing?"
Tangerine blushed, never had he thought that his singing ability would be able to bring in a pony of her caliber. It truly was an honor.
"Oh that was just me, I'm so sorry about that"
Out of nowhere, a pony with two machine guns on his back, a cowboy hat came into Tangerines view.
"Who the fuck er you!!?? I'll gun ya ta pieces you piece of shit, I'll fuck you up so hard and gnaw your head off, you piece of shit!! What did you do to Littlepip!?"
Tangerine went into fetal position once more. Shaking from the imminent threats that would assail him.
"Where have you been, Pip!? I've been looking all over for you!"
Littlepip turned to her cowpony compatriot, and just stared at him with empty eyes.
"I'm looking for Velvet, she's gone missing, I have to find her."
"Goddamnit Pip, she's back at the camp we made. We are all worried sick about you"
"What?"
"Come on, lets go."
The two went their way back whence she came. Tangerine continued in fetal position in the destroyed neighborhood on a bench.
Suddenly, an explosion was heard from near. Tangerine shifted from his pathetic form into sitting idly on the bench to see where the sound originated. From afar, one could see a nuclear explosion and then a high-pitched screaming that got louder each second.
Then, out of the blue, a head landed on his lap. It wasn't just any ordinary head, it was a grey pony head with red and black streaks on its mane coloration. It nervously smiled at Tangerines horrified expression.
"Oh, hi there, I'm BlackJack!" said the head on its own.
"Uh!? How are you talking!?"
"Probably because I have a battery near my neck thats keeping me alive! Not to worry, my body is coming here soon."
Tangerine heard the quick hoof that clanged with each step. From the direction of the explosion could be seen a mechanical body running towards him. He was anything, but scared.
The body still running, grabbed Blackjack's head and continued its run while trying to put the head back into place.
"Thanks for catching my head!" she would scream as she ran off the distance.
Tangerine sat at the bench confused. All these weird occurrences were one thing, but he didn't expect such appearances of more relevant characters to be here in the first place. Truly it was a weird coincidence.
He turned his head over to the side and vowed to sleep this insanity off no matter the cost.
Slumbering peacefully, he did not notice the hoard of Grand Pegasus Enclave running full speed across the devastated neighborhood.