A Week Of No Flight (In other words, life as an Earth pony)

by Aray

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Comedy
Length: 2048

After Rainbow destroys Applejack's hat, she promises to make it up to her by not flying for a week.

After teasing Applejack about her hat (and just plain being racist), Rainbow destroys Applejack's hat in a river by accident.
Now to make it up to the earth mare, she promises to not fly for a week.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-22 19:28:19 UTC

Mah Hat!

“GIV' IT BACK, RAINBOW!”

Applejack glared with daggers in her eyes as she roared those words at the pegasus.

Rainbow just smirked as she stood on the cloud with Applejack's hat on her head and pulled a mocking stupid expression, imitating Applejack, as she said.

“Gav it bock, DAINbow!”

“Gun sannit! Ah don't speak like that!”

“You're right.” Rainbow sniggered as she danced on the cloud in hysterics, “You sound ten times dumber.”

“Grr...”

Suddenly a gust of wind caught behind Rainbow's head as the hat was whooshed off in a furious breeze. Applejack gasped as her eyes widened, and ran after the hat- but Rainbow shot forward trying to get it before her.

The two darted down the fields to a river, the hat landing in it and getting drenched in waves while the two watched from the shore. Applejack just cried.

“No-no-no!”

“It's okay!”

Suddenly a crocodile lunged out of the water, swallowing the hat whole. Applejack's eyes and mouth fell open.

Before she glared at Rainbow and the pegasus gave a nervous smile, etching back.

“Heh, heh...”

“Rainbow..”

“So a gator ate your hat... you'll get it back in a few hours.” Rainbow laughed and Applejack just stepped dangerously closer to her. The pegasus swallowed, getting ready to take flight when suddenly-

Applejack burst into tears.

Rainbow blinked her eyes a couple of times lost... er, what was happening?

“Mah mother gav' me that hat!”

The pegasus just stood there, feeling like the biggest bitch ever and asked after a second... her voice small.

“You mean... your mother that... died?”

“Yes!”

“Oh...” Rainbow said, and gave a nervous smile, before adding. “Well I'm sure it'll look fine once it's-”

Applejack just turned and left.

Rainbow blinked a few times. She thought Applejack had hundreds of those hats? How was she supposed to know that that one was special?

She stumbled a little forward as she rose off the ground and followed after the pony, saying to her in barely a voice.

“Well... I'm sure you'll get another one.”

Applejack didn't reply. Rainbow felt the guilt rising higher and higher inside of her.

“Is there anything I can do to-?”

“Yes!” Applejack said, turning her tear stained eyes to the pegasus and shouting in her face. “You can jump of a cliff and die!”

“Ha ha ha ha!” Rainbow laughed in hysterics, making Applejack pull a cautionary face and the pegasus stopped immediately. She looked at Applejack, and tried to mumble not in chuckles. “I thought you were making a joke... considering I have wings... and... a-and can fly...?”

Applejack glared at her, before storming on and the pegasus landed in front of her, begging on her knees.

“Please Applejack! Please! The guilt is eating me alive!”

“It's been two minutes...”

“Is there anything I can do to please you?!”

Applejack just stared at her, incredulous at Rainbow's terrible attempts.

“It can EVEN be SEXUAL!”

“...what?”

“Nothing.” Rainbow peeped and crawled towards her begging more. “Anything... just... JUST NAME IT! PLEASE! OH CELESTIA, APPLEJACK! JUST TELL ME!”

“Alright...” Applejack said, stepping back a little awkwardly. It seemed-impossible as it was- Rainbow was taking this harder than her. “You can... um...?”

“Remember.” Rainbow said to her, coming closer as she said. “It can be anything!”

She whispered in her ear.

“...anything.”

Applejack leant away from her awkwardly and just gave a quick nervous smile before saying.

“Ya can... just... um... not fly for a week!”

“Anything but that!”

“Rainbow...”

“Heh, heh...” Rainbow just said, standing beside Applejack as she pulled her hoof around Applejack's shoulder, pulling her close. She said. “Applejack, I need my wings. I need to fly just like you need your ha---hey!”

Rainbow trailed off as she realised where she was going and looked at Applejack with a brave face- but only saw one of despise back. “Yeah sure... I can give up flying.”

“You will?”

“Yep.”

“And ya don't mind if-”

“-Twilight does a spell ta disable your wings?”

The two stood in Twilight's kingdom's main hall and Rainbow looked petrified, wondering why the hell she agreed to this.

Oh yeah... cos she was a bitch.

“Now, are you sure you want this, Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked warily. Her horn pointed to Rainbow and the pegasus gulped, saying with a nervous voice.

“Do I have a choice?”

She was literally asking this question, and Applejack shook her head. No. Rainbow did not have a choice.

It took seconds before magical sparks flew out of Twilight's horn and Rainbow shut her eyes in fear. She stood there as magic sunk into her wings and when the spell was done, she opened her eyes and tried to move her wings...

...but couldn't.

She sighed.

“Well I'm sure this will lead to some interesting shenanigans...”

“Shut it, Rainbow.” Applejack just grunted and left the castle after that. The heat from the rage fumed off the orange pony and she was gone in a second.

Rainbow looked at Twilight and laughed, adding, “Well now that Applejack's gone, you can just- y'know...”

Twilight looked at Rainbow confused and the pegasus pulled a blank expression, continuing.

“Reverse it.”

“Rainbow!”

“That's my name...” Rainbow chuckled nervously, trying to move her wings but couldn't. “But it can't really be Rainbow, with out the Dash... and I can't really Dash if I don't have-”

“You are unbelievable!”

“It's not like Applejack was married to her hat! And I just didn't want her mad at me anymore...”

“Well, do this... and she won't be.”

“You can say that again...”

“Do this, and she won't be.”

“Oh Celestia! Shut UP, Twilight!”

The alicorn looked at Rainbow Dash slowly for a second, before asking.

“Is it... that time of the month again?”

Cocking an eyebrow up and Rainbow just looked at her. She turned her ruby eyes down to the ground and rolled her hoof in a small circle on the floor, mumbling.

“...yes”

Twilight just smacked her hoof into her face. Deeply... deeply disappointed.

“Get out of my castle.”

Rainbow sighed. She began walking out of the hall and just mumbled to herself, feeling like life for the next week would just be unbearable.

“I hate my friends...”

Day 1

“Okay, Rainbow. Just don't think about flying.”

The pegasus sat outside, looking around the sky at all the flying ponies and bit her lip in weak wobbly pain.

“Just imagine they are all on fire...”

“I LOVE FIRE!”

“Gah!” Rainbow yelped, falling over from her seat as Pinkie bounced beside her.

“Except for when I'm on fire...”

Pinkie gasped. “Am I on fire?”

“Not yet...” Rainbow growled annoyed and sat up. She looked at the pink pony, who only gleamed back, obliviously.

“I had to give up flying for a week.”

“Jeeze,” Pinkie said sarcastically “I feel really bad for you.”

Rainbow blinked surprised that Pinkie even knew what sarcasm was.

“Thanks.” she replied.

“Well you can just stay with me till you can fly again!” Pinkie said in glee, and whispered into Dash's ear slowly. “We can share a bed...”

“Thanks, but no thanks.” Rainbow said, a little reluctant and thought over her options. “I'll just sleep in a cave... nothing ever dangerous goes in there.”

“I won't here of it, my dear.”

The two ponies blinked as Rarity trotted over to them and smiled at Rainbow, in generosity.

“You can stay in my house. I've got plenty of room.”

“Well, thanks, Rarity.”

“Why did you choose her but not me!” Pinkie screamed upset and Rainbow leant back from her afraid.

“Because I don't like you.”

Pinkie opened her mouth shocked and Rainbow just laughed, shouting.

“Kidding! Kidding!”

“Oh it's a joke!” Pinkie screamed in glee and laughed in Rainbow's face. “I get jokes!”

“A very distasteful one at that...” Rarity muttered under her breath and Rainbow rolled her eyes, yawning.

“Yeah, well.” the pegasus said back and looked at the unicorn. “I hope you don't mind Tank crashing there too.”

“Not at all.” Rarity chimed back with a smile. “In fact he crashed into my house this morning.”

“A HA HA HA HA!” Pinkie laughed, dropping on the ground in uncontrollable roaring laughter. “Rarity, quit your day job and become a comedian!”

“Yes, well...” Rarity said a little nervously and looked at Rainbow, saying quickly. “Shall we go?”

“Yes, please.” Rainbow said and the two left that instant.

“So, Rainbow Dash.” Rarity said to the pegasus as the two sat in her dining room, drinking tea. “Why did you give up flying?”

Rainbow wasn't listening as she was putting scoop after scoop of sugar into her cup and Rarity cleared her throat after the fifteenth spoonful.

“Mmm Hmm!”

Rainbow looked at the unicorn, the spoon hanging loose in her mouth and as the two stared at each other- the spoon dropped.

“Oh, because I destroyed Applejack's hat.”

“The one her mother gave her?!”

“Am I the ONLY one who didn't know this!”

“Calm down, darling.” Rarity said, leaning back from the yell and looked at the blue pegasus in amazement, “You'll go bald from stress.”

“Unlikely. I come from a very hairy family.”

“Right...” Rarity said slowly, unsure of really how to respond. She smiled at Rainbow Dash sheepishly before her door flew opened and a country drawl of a voice shouted.

“Rarity! Ah need ya help! Now!”

The two turned to see Applejack by the door with a destroyed shredded hat in her hoofs. Rarity gasped when she saw this, before running over to her -pulling out a metal trolley as she yelled.

“Put it on the surgical table! Stat!”

The hat was flung on the table and the three ponies gathered around it, Rainbow saying relieved.

“Oh! So you got it back!” she smiled, adding. “Now give me back my wings.”

“Will it live?!” Applejack cried to Rarity as the unicorn got a stethoscope and pressed it into the hat, searching for a heart beat.

“How long has it been like this!?” the unicorn cried.

“I only got it back five minutes ago!”

“What's that smell...?” Rainbow said, sniffing the air and getting the scent of sewage. She suddenly realized where Applejack got the hat back from. “Eww, Applejack!”

“Clear!” Rarity yelled, getting the defibrillators and zapping the hat a few times, “CLEAR!”

After a few seconds more, the unicorn turned off her zappers and looked at Applejack, with a solemn look.

“I'm sorry,”

“Oh Celestia!” Applejack cried, sobbing uncontrollably and asking through tears. “Give it to me straight, doc.”

“It'll cost a hundred bits to repair.”

“NOOOO!” Applejack screamed, falling on the ground with unbearable weeping and Rarity turned back to Rainbow. She asked with a smile.

“Now, where were we?”

The two were in the living room as Rainbow sat down bored, watching Rarity model on clothes.

“How does this look?”

“Lame.”

“How about this?”

“Also lame.”

“This?”

“That's wonderful!”

“Really?”

“No, Rarity. That was a false compliment. You're used to them.”

Rarity pouted annoyed. She looked at Rainbow Dash with irritated eyes and just muttered under her breath. “I'm sure the element of honesty could give an honest opinion.” she sighed, realizing the obvious. “But her fashion sense is as bad as a cross dressing monkeys.”

“Can I go to sleep now?” Rainbow asked, tired as she checked the time and saw it was midnight.

“Yes, just remember not to dream.”

“Why?” Rainbow asked confused, as Rarity sighed, looking down to the ground as she muttered.

“Because dreams never come true...”

Rainbow nodded, not really listening and got up from her sitting position, leaving for her room.

The pegasus tossed and turned in her sleep that night, a terrible nightmare filling her head.

She could see Applejack, crying as she gave Rarity the money. The orange pony saying to her.

“This is your fault!”

Rainbow tossed and turned some more, balls of sweat running down her head before screaming awake when the image of a crocodile eating her scared her from her sleep.

She sat up panting in the dark. She could hear purring, and looked onto her bed seeing Opal asleep at the bottom of her hoofs. She mumbled tiredly.

“It's been a while since I've had any pussy in my bed.”

The sun dawning outside as her second flightless day began.