Princess Spike: Final Mix ++

by PoisonClaw

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Spike, Slice of Life
Length: 4146

An alternate Princess Spike involving the competent Spike we all know and love.

Twilight has worked herself clear to the point of exhaustion in order to set up The Grand Equestrian Summit in Canterlot. After she collapses, Spike is tasked by Cadence with the essential mission of making sure Twilight isn't disturbed while she catches up on the sleep she's missed.

When a herd of ponies come knocking at Twilight's door though, it falls to Spike to deal with them.

So, naturally, he does the smart thing and solves everything.

Published 2015-06-21 19:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-21 19:00:02 UTC

Final Mix ++

Cadence groaned as she began ascending the steps towards Twilight’s loft, shifting her wings every few steps to get some blood back into them. She knew that helping to manage this year's Grand Equestrian Summit wasn’t going to be easy, especially when this had turned into the largest gathering of delegates she could remember, but even she didn’t think she would end up this sore already, and the day was only half over!

As she climbed higher and higher, her thoughts drifted to Twilight and the state she had last seen her in. The poor mare had worked herself near to exhaustion, planning and preparing everything down to the tiniest detail, even forgoing sleep entirely in order to make sure everything went off without a hitch. As much as she had wished to watch over her sister-in-law personally and make sure she got some well-deserved rest, Cadence’s attendance was required for several events planned throughout today, especially those involving meetings with potential trade-partners to establish new trading routes with the Crystal Empire.

Thus, it had fallen to Spike to make sure Twilight wasn’t disturbed until she was good and rested. Cadence hoped that he hadn’t had too tough a time dealing with-

Passing the final bend up the tower, Cadence stopped in her tracks a few steps from the tower balcony, blinking a few times just to make sure her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her. When she had left Spike to watch over Twilight, she distinctly remembered there not being a pair of Royal Guards standing watch over the door, spears held at the ready to block any trespassers who might try and gain entry.

Both guards were adorned in the typical golden armour of the Royal Day Guard and the coat altering enchantments that came with them, but even in armour Cadence recognized the mare standing closest to her as Sapphire Quartz, one of her own Crystal Guards currently stationed in Canterlot, on her orders no less.

“Um…excuse me.”

Both guards turned their heads to look in her direction, and a smile spread across their faces at the sight of her. “Princess Cadence!” Sapphire exclaimed excitedly, “It’s so nice to see you again!”

“Yes, it truly is.” Her partner spoke up. At a glance, he appeared to be much older than the typical guard, maybe only a few years away from being eligible for retirement. “I would have thought you would be busy in the city, what with the summit still in full swing.”

“I had a moment to myself, so I thought I would take a break. Though, may I ask what you two are doing here?”

“Why, we’re keeping watch over Princess Twilight, your Highness.” Sapphire was quick to answer. “The Great and Noble Sir Spike asked for our assistance personally!”

“I still don’t know why you Crystal Ponies refer to Spike with such lofty titles.“ The second guard remarked. ”I mean, sure, he’s a great kid, but why all the titles and honours?”

Sapphire Quartz scoffed at her companion. “I’d like to see you get saved from an evil shadow-wielding tyrant that had previously enslaved your entire race for decades and then not want to sing that hero’s praises for generations to come! “

“I’m just saying-“

“Wait, “ Cadence cut the two off before they could start bickering, “You said Spike asked you?”

This time it was the stallion who answered. “Yes, the little guy was looking for help in looking after the Princess. I’m actually surprised that there wasn’t already somepony assigned for that.”

“I tried, believe me I did.” Cadence felt her sore joints acting up as she remembered how much a hassle that had turned out to be. “I searched high and low, but every guard in the city has been assigned to watch over the summit. I even called in a few guards from the Empire just to make sure we would have enough.

“I couldn’t find anypony who wasn’t already assigned elsewhere. Though that does still beg the question of why you two weren’t busy, sir…” Cadence suddenly realized she didn’t know the stallion’s name, and she couldn’t remember if she had seen him around Canterlot the times she had come to visit.

“Oh, I’m sorry, your Highness, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Spearmint, and I served under your husband, Prince-Consort Shining Armor, while Princess Twilight was still a filly.”

Sapphire Quartz gasped, turning to look at Spearmint with a newfound admiration in her eyes. “You knew the princess when she was just a filly?”

The old stallion chuckled. “Well, she wasn’t a princess back then, but she was a very precocious child, that’s for sure. Every guard back then just knew she was destined for greatness, even discounting the fact that she was Princess Celestia’s personal pupil. Anyway,“ Turning back to address Cadence once more, he continued where he had left off. “It just so happens that the two of us are off duty for the next few days, and it seems we both had the same idea to spend some time around Canterlot while the summit was underway.”

“Yep! Ponies even came and set up food stands, and I wasn’t about to miss out on that while in Canterlot!” The Crystal Pony licked her lips as she remembered some of the food she had had a chance to sample, most of which hadn’t ended up being invented until centuries after the Crystal Empire had disappeared.

“Well, my wife decided to take our little Sprig Mint shopping, so I thought I’d come into town and just enjoy myself. As luck would have it, I ran into Ms. Quartz here not long after, and then into Spike as well.”

“He ran into you, actually. Bowled him over like a Breezie hitting a brick wall.”

“Details, details. As I’m sure you can imagine, he was looking for help, and we were more than willing to be of service. Right after a quick stop to the armory first though.”

“Really? He convinced you two to stand watch, even on your day off?”

“Of course!” Sapphire rapped her spear against the ground as she stood at attention. “Sir Spike needed my help, so I was happy to assist him! He deserves no less for what he’s done for the Crystal Ponies!”

Spearmint chuckled once more at the mare’s enthusiasm. “Well, you’ve certainly got the moxie for the Guard, I’ll give you that. As for me, all it took was for the little guy to say that Princess Twilight needed my help to convince me. I’m not sure if she remembers, but I owe a favour to the Princess from way back when she mentored under Princess Celestia.”

“Oh?” Now Cadence was curious.

“You see, my daughter’s only a few years younger than the Princess herself, but at that time she was struggling greatly with her schooling, math especially, and I wasn’t much of a help in that regard. Twilight helped me understand it enough that I could pass it on to my little Mint, and I’ll never forget the look on her face the day she came running in with a 90 on her math test. That one moment sparked her interest enough that she’s now eligible for a scholarship in Manehattan, and I couldn’t be happier.” Cadence could swear she saw a lone teardrop drip down the pony’s face as he said this. “I owe it all to the Princess, and it’s a debt I doubt I could ever fully repay. Next to that, standing watch over her chambers is the least I could do.”

Sapphire Quartz couldn’t help herself, responding with a drawn out “Awwww!” as Spearmint finished his story. Cadence had to resist her own urge to respond in a similar fashion.

“Well, I’m glad to see everything is going well. And here I was thinking something would go wrong!”

It was subtle; most ponies wouldn’t have picked up on it. But Cadence had long since learned to pick up on even the most minute of body language, and when she had mentioned the prospect of something going wrong, she saw a look pass between the two Guards for the briefest of moments. It wasn’t long, but it was long enough that Cadence was worried all over again.

“Something did happen…didn’t it?”

“Well…um…the thing is…” Sapphire struggled to come up with a respectable answer to Cadence’s inquiry.

“What Miss Quartz is trying to say is that, before Spike asked us to stand watch, he told as about an…incident that happened not long after you told him to make sure Her Highness wasn’t disturbed.”

“An incident?”

Spearmint nodded his head. “Obviously we weren’t there to witness it personally, but according to Spike…”

Spike felt like he was being pressed in from all sides. Ponies, possibly a dozen of them, if not more, were all crowding around him, each and every one of them saying something in his direction. He couldn’t make out exactly what they were saying as they were all speaking over one another, but the basic intent was more than clear:

They were all mad. Specifically, they were all mad at him.

When Cadence had asked him to keep watch over Twilight, Spike assumed this would be easy. He never expected that so many ponies would suddenly all have problems and all come to Twilight to fix them. Since Twilight was currently unavailable, passed out in the room behind him, it fell on his shoulders to deal with any problems that may arise.

A prospect becoming more and more difficult by the second.

“I’m sorry, but could you all just-“

“Where’s Princess Twilight?!” One pony shouted.

“If you could all just wait a moment-“

“She needs to come fix this right now!” Another yelled.

“If you’ll just let me-“

“It’s her fault this happened!” The pony who said this stomped his hoof in frustration, as if ready to charge if Twilight didn’t appear any second.

“I’m sure that Twilight-“

“Where is she!” Other ponies began to echo that one sentiment as they pressed in closer and closer. Spike felt his back bump up against the door as the circle of ponies grew smaller and smaller, only becoming more and more frustrated in turn. Spike could do nothing as the ponies descended upon him, the unmistakable feeling of fear coursing through his body.

Yet, at the same time, he could feel another feeling gradually building in the pit of his stomach: anger. Warmth was building up within him as the demands from the ponies lost all coherencies, devolving into an unintelligible wall of noise. His claws clenched tightly into fists, and he could feel his teeth grinding against each other. With each passing second, this feeling grew and grew until-

“SHUT UP!!”

A huge burst of green flame rocketed out his mouth as he yelled, creating a momentary fireball above his head that promptly caused all the arguing ponies to become silent as they all stepped back a step in fear from the adolescent dragon. Spike stood there for several moments, breathing in and out as the anger began to slowly ebb off his body. Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, Spike finally took his chance to address the herd of ponies.

“I’m sorry, I really am. But Princess Twilight is busy at the moment, and I have been asked to make sure she isn’t disturbed. There’s nothing I can do about it, so all of you are going to have to leave.”

The noise began again, though Spike was able to pick out a few ponies saying how “This is an outrage!” and demanding he “bring the princess out right now!”, which only caused him to become angry enough to blow out another, yet much smaller burst of dragon fire as a means to silence the crowd once more.

“One at a time!” Pointing at random, his gaze fell onto a blue Pegasus with a mane like fluffy clouds. “You, what’s your problem?”

Floating to the front of the crowd, the Pegasus coughed into his hoof before speaking with a very snooty sounding voice. “Well, the hall was so crowded that I had trouble finding a seat. When I did find one, somepony stole it from me!”

“Somepony…stole…your seat.” Spike muttered in disbelief.

“Yes! And I thought he was my best friend too!”

Spike just stood there, unmoving for a few seconds, before the palm of his hand made contact with his face. “Oh, for the love of Celestia, you have got to be kidding me.”

“Wh…what?”

“Is this some kind of joke? Some elaborate prank maybe? Are you all in on it? Because let me tell you, I’m friends with two of the biggest pranksters you will ever meet and I can tell you that this isn’t funny in the slightest!”

The blue Pegasus huffed indignantly. “This is serious!”

Spike crossed his arms across his chest as he spoke. “Let me see if I have this right: you want Twilight, Princess Twilight no less, to stop what she’s doing and come down… and deal with the fact that somepony took your seat.”

“Um…yes?” Now that someone had said it out loud like that, he was less sure about if this was a good idea.

“I think Twilight has more important things to deal with than petty squabbles over seating arrangement. Did you even talk to your friend about this?”

“Um…well…I…no, no I didn’t.”

“Well, why don’t you go do that then? If he’s your best friend, them I’m sure he’ll understand and If there’s still an issue then, just ask one of the mediators on duty for help!”

A look of confusion passed over the Pegasus’s face. “Me…mediators?”

“Uh…yeah. I know for a fact that Twilight assigned ponies to be mediators in the event any issues arose that she couldn’t deal with directly. I don’t know how you could miss them: big ponies carrying clipboards and wearing bright orange vests and hats?”

Several of the ponies suddenly seemed to come to a realization, and Spike could swear he heard one pony mutter, “I thought they were the catering staff…”

“And if that doesn’t work, I’m pretty sure you could just fly. You’re a Pegasus for Celestia’s sake! I’m sure no one would mind if you used unneeded space!”

The Pegasus awkwardly shuffled his wings, as if realizing for the first time that they were there. A bright red blush steadily spread across his face as he stuttered out “Y-yeah…I…I guess that might work. I’llgotalktomyfriendnowbye!” With a burst of speed, the Pegasus pony took off down the steps, a few of the ponies following behind him. Though while that thinned out the group, there were still a good number of ponies who were adamant that they needed to see Princess Twilight Sparkle at once.

One such pony stepped forward, a stallion who looked like he was trying far too hard to look like he was important with his obviously cheap suit.

“I need to see Princess Twilight at once! I have urgent matters to discuss with her!”

“Well, as I’ve already told you, she’s dealing with more important matters right now.”

“I don’t care! You will bring her out here or else I’ll break down the door myself!” He once more stopped his hoof in frustration, as if demanding Spike move out of the way.

Spike wasn’t budging an inch. In fact, this pony had officially worked his last nerve. “Oh, I’m sorry, it seems I didn’t know who I was talking to!”

The stallion puffed out his chest. “Well, clearly.”

“It’s clear to me now that I must be talking to somepony far more important than the princesses!”

“Exactly, and- wait…what?”

“Clearly whatever Princess Twilight is doing if far less important than what ever you need! Matters of state, possible monsters invading Canterlot, nothing compared to you good sir. In fact, since you’re so important, perhaps these other ponies should seek your guidance instead rather than Princess Twilight’s, who is clearly beneath you!”

The stallion became aware of the others staring intently at him, as sweat began to drip down his head. “I-I…well, you see…the thing is…uh…uh.”

“Oh, but if that weren’t enough, I was asked by none other than Princess Cadence to ensure Twilight wasn’t disturbed. So this actually makes you far more important than not one, but two princesses! So please, enlighten us all on the issue that is this important!

Once more attention was focused on the stallion, who was almost standing in a puddle of his own sweat. “Uh…the thing is…I-uh…I…I’ll…I’ll come back later.” Dipping his head in defeat, he slowly began making his way back down the steps. The remaining ponies looked once more at Spike, who had a look on his face like he was begging someone to try to get past him.

“Well, anypony else still wish to see Twilight?”

After that last display, the remaining ponies descended the steps in quick order, once more leaving Spike standing alone on the balcony. Breathing a sigh of relief, he quietly opened the door and stepped in. A few minutes later, he stepped out carrying a wooden sign under his arm, which he quickly hung on the door. The words “Do Not Disturb” were hastily written in large, bright red letters.

“There, that should work until I get back.” With that done, Spike took off down the steps towards the city, hoping to find some help.

“…and the rest you already know.”

Cadence could only stand there, her jaw hanging open in shock throughout Spearmint’s retelling of what occurred. “Spike…Spike did all that?”

“Presumably. I only know what Spike told us and…well, Spike has always been one to over exaggerate-“ He was cut off when Sapphire Quartz suddenly bopped him on the head with her spear. “Hey!”

“Sir Spike wouldn’t lie about something like that! How could you doubt him?”

“I’m just saying he’s been known to tell some lofty tales. Like that time he-“

“I guess I’ll just have to ask him myself.” Cadence said, once more interrupting the two before they could escalate into squabbling with one another. “May I please enter?”

“One moment, Your Highness.” Turning around, Sapphire Quartz gently eased the door open before sticking her head through the gap. “Sir Spike?”

Cadence could just barely hear Spike responding “Yeah?” from inside.

“Princess Cadence is here and she wants to know if she’s allowed in.”

“Sure, let her by!”

Stepping back to her post, both guards slowly opened up the door. “After you, Your Highness.”

“Thank you. I’ll make sure you’re both rewarded for your dedication today.“ Before either Spearmint or Sapphire could refuse, Cadence had already stepped over the threshold and, with a little bit of her magic, closed the doors behind her with nary a sound.

The curtains were open, so it wasn’t completely pitch black, but it still took a moment for Cadence’s eyes to adjust to the dim lighting. The only other source of light was a single candle atop a desk, where Spike was sitting munching away at a bowl of gemstones. Cadence smiled as she looked past him towards the bed, where she could make out the unmistakable form of Twilight, still sleeping peacefully.

“Hey, Cadence.” Spike spoke in a hushed whisper, obvious trying not to disturb Twilight. “How’s the summit?”

“Frustrating. I have to go back in a little bit, and I’m not looking forward to it. I don’t know how Celestia and Luna manage.”

Spike shrugged his shoulders. “Your guess is as good as mine, “ he said, before stuffing another gem into his mouth.

“So…I heard that you got into some trouble while I was gone?”

Spike quickly swallowed the gem he was eating before awkwardly twiddling his thumbs. “Oh…they told you did they? He he he…Well you asked me to make sure Twilight wasn’t disturbed!”

‘That I did, and from what I heard I think you handled it rather well, all things considered. “

“Really? That’s a relief. It’s just…I don’t know what all these ponies problem is.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you know me and Twilight lived in Canterlot for most of our lives, right?"

“Yeah…”

“And for the most part most ponies seemed like they were fully capable of taking care of their own problems. Yet suddenly you throw the princesses into the mix and they seem to become incapable of performing even the simplest of task without running to the princess. I mean, I could kind of understand when Celestia and Luna went missing that one time because they’re Celestia and Luna obviously, but I felt more like I was dealing with kids fighting in the schoolyard than full grown ponies!”

Cadence sighed. “Sadly, there are far too many ponies who think, just because we’re princesses, that we can help them avoid all the hard work and just solve everything for them. “

“That’s stupid. Next thing you’ll tell me is that if anything turned out badly, they’d suddenly become ungrateful and blame you instead, even though it’s really all their fault. You never know, they might even form into an unruly mob!”

Cadence giggled. “Oh Spike, that’s just silly.”

Spike picked a ruby out from his bowl of gems. “Yeah, I guess it is.” As he took a bite of the gem, both Cadence and him could hear someone conversing with the guards outside. A moment later, Spearmint stuck his head into the room.

“Spike, there’s somepony here to see you. He says he has a message for the Princess.”

Spike made to get out of his chair, but was stopped when Cadence raised a hoof in his direction. “No, don’t get up. I’ll take care of this one. “ Allowing Spearmint to open the door wider, she stepped past him to greet the pony waiting.

“Ah, Fancy Pants! How nice of you to drop by!”

Fancy Pants nearly dropped his monocle in surprise. “Princess Cadence, I was not expecting to meet you here. I have a message I hope you could relay to Princess Twilight for me.”

“Certainly.”

“Well, if you could let her know that I made sure the Dragon Sneeze trees were trimmed and the water main outside of the main hall for the summit has been fixed as her Highness requested.”

“Thank you, Fancy Pants. I’m don’t even want to think about what would have happened if those had been left alone for too long.”

“Oh, it would have been a disaster! Especially if one of the trees fell onto the water main, it could have caused it to flood the main hall! It could have even destroyed the gemstone statue! I shudder to think of what would happen if such a thing were to occur. Truth be told, I don’t even know why we planted those trees in the first place. They’re a real eyesore of a nuisance. “

“I’ll be sure to let Princess Twilight know right away.”

“Thank you Princess. Well, I must be off. I hope to see you at the summit!” With that, Fancy Pants left, allowing Cadence the chance to quietly slip back into the room.

“I think I’ll just rest here for a little bit, and then-“

A loud crash, followed by uproarious cheering reached Cadence’s ears from outside. Reacting to the noise, she turned her head towards the bed…

…where Twilight was still sleeping without a care in the world, seemingly unaware of the noises outside.

“Huh?”

Climbing down from his chair, Spike made his way over to Twilight’s bed, gesturing for Cadence to follow him. “Come here, I got something to show you. “

Confused, but at the same time curious, she walked up beside Spike, where he pointed a claw at one of Twilight’s ear.

“Look.”

Peering closer, Cadence at first didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, but soon she could just make out something sticking out of Twilight’s ear.

“Spike, are…are those earplugs?”

“Yeah. When I ran into Spearmint, I asked him if he could fetch some earplugs for Twilight. According to him these are meant for industrial use, so an Ursa Minor could probably rampage through the city and Twilight wouldn’t hear a thing! Neat, huh?”

Cadence smiled as she pulled Spike in closer, hugging him while also ruffling the fins atop his head with her hoof. “Twilight is so lucky to have a friend like you, Spike.”

Spike beamed at the praise. “Of course! I’m not Twilight’s #1 assistant for nothing!”

Author's Note

Call me petty if you will, but Princess Spike was yet another Idiot Plot with Spike at its center that could have very easily been solved.

Wanted to get this out as quickly as possible, so if you spot any mistakes (and I'm sure there are some!), please feel free to point them out in the comments.