Chapter 5: T.M.I. (The Exposition Chapter)

Celestia awoke with a groan, the throbbing in her head made one thing clear to her, she was hung over. Looking over to the window, the light shining through made her eyes sore and her head hurt even more. Turning over she closed her eyes with the hope that a little more sleep would help her get over the pain when she next woke up. A moment later she shot up and stared back at the window, wincing in pain from the sudden moment.

The sun was up, it was up and she didn’t raise it herself. Her confusion grew as she realized the unfamiliar window she was looking at was part of an unfamiliar room and that she was sitting in an unfamiliar bed.

‘What’s going on?’ She thought, trying to remember how she got there. Despite the terrible headache the memories started to come back. Her vacation started yesterday, Luna, Cadance and Twilight agreed to handle her royal duties, and she gone out the night before.

That’s when the memories got hazy as she tried to recall the details. Was it a bar or club that she had gone to, who had she meet, how much had she drank? The answer to the last question was clearly “a lot,” but one more question seemed more important than any other.

‘Who’s bed is this?’ Celestia questioned looking down at the queen sized bed she sat in alone. She couldn’t remember coming here with anyone, in fact she barely remembered meeting anyone who captured her interest. Her mind drifted down to her dress, or rather the fact that she was still wearing one. If she had sex with someone, then she’d be naked. If she didn’t have sex, then what was she doing in someone else’s bed?

Reaching underneath her skirt she found that she was also still wearing her panties and realized that she didn’t have any of soreness that typically follows a night of wild sex. Everything about her situation didn’t make any sense to her. Clearly she hadn’t been fuck by some stud the night before, the lack of sweat and cum stains were further proof that she had probably slept soundly through the night and nothing else.

“Hey there, you feeling alright?” A voice said with a knock on the doorway to the room.

Tia looked over to the familiar man entering the room dressed in a green t-shirt and with a gold symbol of triangles and a pair of blue beach shorts.

“Johnny?” Tia asked finally putting a name to the face. “What are you doing in here?”

“Uh, I live here. I think you meant to ask how you got here.”

“Oh, y-yes how did I get here?” Tia asked curious, about Johnny’s role in this.

“I carried you here, after I found you passed out on the street.”

“Passed out? How, what happened last night?”

“You got wasted what else.” Johnny explained, “You and Charlie got drunk, had in a little fun in the bathroom and then you took off. Jimmy was pissed, but Charlie’s helped him out with the riffraff enough times that he gave him a pass.”

“Uh, Charlie?” Tia asked finding the name stirring a memory of a tall handsome man.

“Yeah Charlie, he ran off that douche-bag Victor. The two of you got drunk and you gave him head in the bathroom before Jimmy interrupted guys.”

“Head in the bathroom!” Tia repeated in surprise at the news remembering a dirty bathroom and a large dick in front of her face. “Wait how do you know about that?”

“We were there, my friends Frankie, Isaac, Matt and I were at the club taking bets about how far Charlie would get.” Johnny replied then with half-lidded eye continued in annoyance, “Oh I lost by the way thanks for that. I knew you were looking for sex but I really hoped you had higher standards than Charlie.”

“And I actually gave him blowjob in the restroom?” Celestia asked embarrassed at the idea, as she though back to last night.

“That’s what Charlie told us, he was pissed too.” Johnny smiled at the thought.

“Are you sure? I don’t, I don’t remember…” Celestia continued to think about her time with Charles, the memory getting clearer as she pieced together the events. “No, no I didn’t suck him off.”

“Wait, you sure.” Johnny asked intently.

“Yeah pretty sure, Charlie went down on me and I was about to give him a blowjob, wow he was big. When someone started bang on the door threatening to put my picture on the wall. I panicked and ran.”

“The wall of shame, that’s why you ran?” Johnny laughed, “More importantly that fucker lied to us, wait did you actually kiss him?”

“Yes, why?”

“Damn still lost, well still have to tell the guys Frank won and that Charlie has to pay the penalty for lying.”

“So wait, you were actually betting on whether Charlie would fuck me?” Celestia asked getting upset, “Did Charlie make a bet on me?”

“Nah, didn’t get the chance. He met you after a quick chat with Jimmy.” Johnny explained, “He and Frankie usually pick out hot girls and bet on seducing them, while the rest of us take side bets on how far they get.”

“That’s terrible, making a game about using girls like that.” She chastised slightly raising her voice trying not to aggravate her headache more.

“Meh, just a way of keeping us amused, sometime we just pick random guys out of the crowd and bet how many time they strike out or if they pick up any girl at all. Can’t say it’s any worse than say picking someone up for a one night stand right?”

“Uh, well that’s consensual and uh…”

“Sure, sure just don’t go breaking too many hearts and I won’t go winning too many bets.”

“Right, so I suppose good luck on your game. And guess I should thank you.”

“For what?”

“For bringing me here, I don’t remember what happened after I left the club. Exactly how did you find?”

“Ironically it was when I wasn’t looking for you.” Johnny smirked as he began, “You looked a little unsteady and forgot your purse at the bar, you’ll want to go back for that later I think, and I got a little worried about you. After Charlie told us what happened, oh I can hardly wait to rat him out, I headed over to your hotel to see if you were alright. No one had seen you and I’m pretty sure someone would have noticed you walking in. So I waited a while then just gave up and headed home and saw you stumble into an alley and here we are.”

“I just stumbled into an alley and that’s it.” Tia sighed, “I’m going to have to drink more responsibly. Again thank you for looking out for me.”

“Well it didn’t seem right to leave a princess lying face down in the gutter.”

“I would hope not.” Tia smiled at his joke, when something dawned on her, “Wait, did you say “princess?””

“I imagine your sister raised the sun, since you were still passed out earlier.” Johnny grinned.

“I, you, um, so you know who I am?” Tia asked getting a nod in return. “Since when, was it as obvious as my cutie mark?”

“It should have been, cause there was something familiar about you. Your hair and cutie mark should have been enough, but it wasn’t until you said you name was Tia that I realized who you were.”

“Does anyone else know who I am?”

“Doubt it, hardly anyone around here knows much Equestria, except for celebrities like Fleur de Lis and the Wonderbolts. Not that you princesses aren’t as recognizable but as far as princesses go you don’t have a much exposure as Luna or Princess Cadence. In fact…”

Johnny walked over to a bookcase, Tia noticed the top shelves were filled with a number or thick hardbound books but she could see any of their titles. Everything from his chest down was paperbacks and seemed to be collections of different multivolume series.

After a quick search Johnny pulled out a magazine from between a pair of books in the shelf and handed it over to Celestia. Tia recognized it as an old and slightly worn issue of Equestria Monthly, dated from 1971. The picture on the cover depicted a seemly war torn area with collapsed buildings, destroyed cars, and soldiers prepared for battle standing in the foreground. In the background, hovering in the air was a woman clad in black armor beneath a patch of dark starlit sky even though the rest of picture revealed it was a cloudy day at the moment the photo had been taken.

Descriptions were written out all around the edges of the cover describing the various articles to be found within the magazine, but the print in the boldest font read “Nightmare Moon… reformed?”

Tia thought back to that period of time as she opened the magazine, skipping most of the articles and quickly found the main story. Briefly skimming the pages she recognized point of the story, a recap of the events following Neil Armstrong’s historic moon landing. Unknown at the time, this incredible event in human history had accidently weakened the seal that maintained Nightmare Moon’s banishment from Equestria. Within days the seal broke and Nightmare Moon was freed decades earlier than Celestia had expected.

Nightmare’s return to Earth had resulted in her discovery of the world’s significant change, and her attempts to claim her rule over the world was meet with force from every military she came across as she began searching for Equestria. With each battle she learned how to fight modern armies until only the superpowers of China, the Soviet Union and the U.S. were able to force her to retreat after long difficult battles. It only ended when U.N. forces mounted a joint operation spearheaded by Celestia herself and her elite royal guards were they able to subdue her sister.

It had been painful turning her sister over to U.N. custody but she still had her backup plan, a last resort she had been preparing in case she have been unable to find a new bearer for the Element of Magic along with the other elements. Within a year Luna was freed of the Nightmare and though many were against it and didn’t fully understand what had really happened to Luna the U.N. agreed to turn Luna over to Equestrian custody were she remained under guard 24/7 along with almost constant checkups from U.N. representatives and spies sent to ensure that Luna was not still plotting to continue her attacks.

While her sister had only been moved into a different kind of prison Celestia was happy to be able to see her sister daily and comfort her with the promise that she would someday prove that she was no longer the threat of Nightmare Moon.

The article was followed by an interview of Luna, where she answered question about her time as Nightmare Moon and her time in Canterlot after becoming Luna once more. Luna offer many apologies for the trouble she cause and did not complain about being under guard and trapped in her room save meal time when she was escorted to her sister in the dining hall.

Celestia had wondered what had been more effective in satisfying some of the people, both within Equestria and without, that Luna had changed. The interview itself, or the collection of pictures that offered a visual view of Luna’s change. The start of the interview had been preceded with two pages displaying a picture of the mature woman, Nightmare Moon, and a picture of the young lady Luna. Throughout the interview was a layout of photos, the first revealing Luna as a little girl appearing no more than ten years old taken immediately after she was freed of the Nightmare. The rest showed her aging over the course of months until she stopped aging at the current form she holds even now, in a body of a twenty-two year old woman. This display seemed to have an effect as more people started to give a little more credence to the idea that some sort of magic had truly caused a change in her. The demand for Luna to be locked away in a maximum security prison lessened after that.

Regardless it still took years and a number of petitions before Luna was granted a parole and allowed to leave the castle and even the country. But over time Luna slowly gained the trust of the people she meet and the guards that watched over her became fewer and fewer.

Luna, was amazed to experience the nightlife as everyone else now experienced it and had cried tears of joy to find that what Celestia had told her about it was true. After she was finally allowed to venture alone, save for spies positioned throughout the world, by various countries, to monitor her where ever she visited. She became the most recognized Equestrian celebrity the world had ever know. Even after she was restored to her title of Princess and returned to her duties of raising the moon and watching over the night, she made it a point to visit the common folk during their nighttime celebrations.

Following Luna’s interview was a shorter interview of Celestia complete with a single photo of her upon her throne looking elegant and graceful in royal garb. The interview started off as a critique on her decisions to handle her sister with a soft touch, such as keeping her in the castle instead of locking her in the dungeon. Then got to the main focus of questioning her on how Nightmare Moon was restored to Luna.

As far as most people knew Luna’s recovery was the result of a combination of psychological therapy and magical treatments. Few people beyond doctors and researcher brought on by Celestia and the U.N. during Nightmare Moons imprisonment knew the full details about how they removed the dark and corrupt energy that maintained the persona of Nightmare Moon. At the time she only reiterated what was already known about Luna’s treatment and was thankful that time had run out for her interview.

While her sister’s returned had not turned out as she had planned over the centuries, the point was that she had sister back and they were both happy with their lives together.

“Yo, you there Tia?” Johnny asked trying to get Celestia’s attention.

“Oh, yes sorry I was just thinking about my sister.” Tia responded, she touched her temple as her headache reasserting itself now that she was no longer engrossed in her memories.

“That’s nice. So yeah, that magazine probably has one of the most recent pictures of you outside of Equestria. Luna’s always popping up in magazines and tabloids when she’s partying and Princess Cadence makes appearances at charities and gets interviewed for her opinions on many subjects. Even Princess Twilight Sparkle’s more recognized than you after her coronation last year.”

“Yes thankfully, for the sake of this trip I was counting on no one recognizing me.”

“Ah, don’t want anyone knowing you were slumming it.” Johnny teased, Celestia blushing with no defense for the accusation.

“So you won’t tell anyone who I am right?”

“Nah that’s for you to decide, course don’t blame me if someone else manages to figure it out.”

“Fine but could I please ask for one more thing from you?”

“Shoot.”

“Could I please have and aspirin for my headache?”

“Sure I could get you one, but actually I’ve got something better for that hangover of yours waiting in the kitchen.” Johnny stood up and started to head out the room, “If you feel up to it, meet me in there.”

A few minutes later Tia made her way down the hall and sat on a stool by the counter separating the kitchen from the living room. Johnny sat there with a mischievous look in his eye that made Tia nervous. Still she doubted he would do anything to harm her now when she had been so vulnerable the night before.

“Glad to see you could make it.” Johnny said welcoming Tia.

“Just barely, you said you had something for this headache of mine. Will it really help?

“Definitely, got something I learned about from a buddy of mine from M.I.T. that’ll take care of it really quick.”

“M.I.T. huh, is it some sort of mechanical massager to sooth my pain away?” Tia asked.

“Uh, no it’s just a home remedy my friend learned from his neighbor back in Chicago.”

“Oh, was his neighbor a doctor or an herbalist?

“No a cop, what’s with all the questions?”

“Sorry just curious. But you are sure that this remedy of theirs will help?”

“Yes I’m sure, there may be a catch or two but this will take care of you hangover like that” Johnny snapped his finger for emphasis.

“A catch or two?” Tia asked with concern, “What sort of catch?”

“Well for starters, it has to be freshly mixed.” Johnny reached under the counter and pulled out a blender filled with a thick red mix inside. Tia’s eyes widened as they began to move back and forth between the blender and Johnny’s toothy grin.”

“P-pl-pleases no.” Tia whimpered, her pleads falling on deaf ears as Johnny turned the blender on. Tia’s head exploded with pain at the loud whirring of the blender. It felt like an eternity had passed before the blender stopped while she held her hand over her ear hoping spare herself some the pain and failing miserably.

“You’re horrible.” Tia moaned.

“Yeah I know.” Johnny smiled brightly and began to pour the red concoction into a large glass. “Now drink up and kiss that hangover good-bye.”

“Fuck off.”

“Or that, it’s your hangover, tell it whatever you want.” Johnny pushed the glass over to Tia.

Tia glared at Johnny with the deadliest look she had then at the drink he offered. It didn’t look bad, and as strong as it smelled the aroma wasn’t bad either. She picked it up and after a moment’s hesitation took a sip.

“Ah, ah,” Johnny started and reached up to the bottom of the glass, lifting it up and forcing more of the remedying down Tia’s throat. She immediate began chugging the drink to prevent choking or spitting it up. A few moments later Johnny lowered his hand allowing Tia to stop drinking and set the glass down.

“There we go, so how do you feel?” Johnny watched Celestia panting and trying to catch her breathe. The glass she drank was more than half empty after such a generous swig.

“I feel, I feel…,” Celestia slowed her breathing and realized that her headache was indeed gone. “pretty good actually. I think it worked. This stuff even tasted pretty good actually.”

“That good to hear, bathroom’s the first door on the right.” Johnny said pointing back up the hall.

“Why are you telling me…?” Tia was interrupted by a sudden gurgling sound coming from her stomach. She remained stunned for a moment longer then rush down the hallway.

“Hehe, that never gets old.” Johnny chuckled and began washing out the glass and blender pitcher of the remaining remedy.

“You’re a jerk.” Tia stated when she returned, her headache gone but feeling the emptiness of her stomach.

“Hey, I told you there was a catch.” Johnny said from the stove clearly amused by her reaction. “Just let it be a reminder about drinking in excess and try drinking some water between any future alcoholic beverages. It’ll reduce your intake and of course the effect of you next hangover.”

“Fine,” Tia huffed in annoyance.

“Good now eat up.” Johnny then presented her with a plate of freshly cook French toast and a bottle of syrup. “Sorry I don’t have anything better to serve but I’m out of eggs and nearly everything else. Gotta remember to pick up some groceries today. Oh, let me get you some milk.”

“Thank you.” Celestia said and began eating the simple meal.

“If you want some more I got potatoes for some hash browns or some bacon if you feel that makes a decent side for French toast. I don’t but that’s me.”

“No please don’t trouble yourself, I’m fine with this. It’s delicious by the way.”

“Thanks glad to hear you’re enjoying it. You seem to be feeling better.”

“Much better thank you.”

“Hey before I forget you forgot your purse at the club last night, you might wanna go pick that up later.”

“What.” Celestia immediate checked herself as if she might find her purse with her but realized it was indeed gone. “Oh great, you don’t think anyone will recognize me from last night do you?”

“You are really worried about being on the Wall of Shame aren’t you?” Johnny chuckled, “Do you really think one picture in one club is going to amount to anything?”

“I am a princess and if anyone finds out about why I’m here I could bring shame to all of Equestria.”

“Oh you’re a princess, for a second there I thought you were a drama queen.” Johnny joked and received a glare for his humor. “Okay so if it really bothers you that much I’ll talked to Jimmy later and make sure you’re kept of the wall. He owes me some favors so it’s the least he could do.”

“I’d appreciate that, when will the club open so I can pick up my purse though?”

“Not till 7:00PM but I can take you there this afternoon before hand and get that out of the way. If you want to meet up at about two or three I’ll take you over and sort things out with Jimmy while we’re there.”

“That sounds good but is there one more thing you can do for me before I leave?”

“What do you need?”

“You wouldn’t happen to have anything I could wear do you?” Looking down at her wrinkled dress with dirt marks from the alley.

“Uh…” Johnny tried not to laugh but immediately failed, “…sorry I’m afraid I can’t help you there Gigantor.”

“Hey I’m not that tall.” Celestia shot back.

“I wasn’t just talking about your height.” Johnny snickered as he calmed himself down, “I don’t have anything that would fit you. I got some hockey and basketball jerseys that will might fit as a midriff exposing tops but I doubt even my swim trunks can stretch enough to get over those hips of yours. So unless you want to wear a bed sheet as a toga you’re stuck in that dress.”

“Yeah I guess so, it just feels like I’ll doing the walk of shame and I didn’t even get to fuck anyone last night.”

“Well, you shouldn’t worry about people think, besides there’s always next time right?”

“It’s not about what people think,” Tia explained, “its, I just that feel embarrassed about last night and I really don’t have anything to show for it. I wouldn’t mind if it was on my terms, but instead I’m going to head back looking like a cheap slut who got used and toss out.”

“Oh what, so if you actually got bang you’d walk out there with your head held high?” Johnny asked trying to follow her logic. “Serious don’t look at it like that, you not a cheap slut. Right about now the actual cheap sluts in this town are walking out of alleys or sneaking out of the homes of people they regret sleeping with. You’re ahead of the game so don’t knock it.”

“Maybe, but it’s still embarrassing how things turned out compared to how I imagined things would go.”

“What, you thought you’d be waking up in the arms of your prince charming about now?”

“No, about now I hoped to going at it again for round seven or ten or making plans to meet up for more intense kinky sex.”

“Wow, you are just, wow.”

“Oh don’t be like that.” Celestia responded almost offended. “I suppose I should be going now, hope rumors about me don’t get too bad. I don’t want to scare any hot guys or worse attract any loser.”

“Yeah, cause scrubs are your biggest concern.” Johnny commented watching Tia trying to straighten out her stained wrinkled dress and disheveled hair. “Wait, hold up.”

Tia turned to Johnny curious what he had to say now.

“I may not have any other clothes for you to wear, but if you’d like I could give your clothes a wash.”

“Really?” Tia asked looking back down at her dress. “You’d do that too?”

“Eh, I’ve got do my laundry anyway so it not like I’m going out of my way. If anything you’ve kept me from leaving it to the last minute like I normally do. So I’ll wash your dress too and you can go ahead and take a shower.”

“That’s really nice of you, but what will I wear while it’s in the wash, or are you hoping to see me walk around naked.” Tia accused with a teasing grin.

“Oh right, um, let me think.” Johnny quickly responded nervously. “Let me think, uh, okay so like I said my jerseys will fit well enough for a top so that and a towel should be fine till your dress is ready. And I’ll go ahead and move the laundry basket into the hall, just toss it in before you start your shower and I’ll take it to the laundry room. That sound like a plan?”

“I suppose so.” She smiled at how nervous Johnny acted as he sorted out his idea for her.

“Good so let me get you a jersey and move the basket and we’ll get started right?” Johnny left the room not waiting for an answer as Tia just held back a giggle seeing how uncomfortable Johnny became at her teasing.

Johnny returned from the apartment building’s laundry room confident that he’d followed the washing instructions on the tag of Celestia dress closely enough to clean it without any worries about damaging it. Setting down the empty basket he spotted Tia in the living room brushing her hair clearly not wearing his hockey jersey. Instead she had simply wrapped her body with a towel, effectively covering her large breasts leaving a tempting view of cleavage.

The sight of her had made Johnny’s heart skip a beat, not only from the sight of her wearing nothing but a towel but the sight of the lower hem of that towel falling just short of covering her cooch.

‘Okay so baseball stats, uh, zanpakto names and abilities, speculations on the future Dragon Ball Super story arcs,’ Johnny thought and averted his eyes up and to the side hoping to distract himself from his erection. ‘Let’s see Death Note story arcs. Death note, man that guy Light is a dick. Oh hey speaking of…’

“Oh Johnny,” Tia said startled to find Johnny had returned. “Sorry I didn’t see you there. Is the laundry done?”

“Laundry?” Johnny said confuse but relieved that his deflating dick was no longer obvious for Celestia to see. “Oh right, nah I just barely put it in to wash. Got a timer on my phone though, so I’ll check on it later and move it to the dryer. So, did the jersey not fit?”

“I haven’t tried it on yet, I wanted to dry off completely first.” Tia explained, “You don’t mind me borrowing your brush do you?”

“Nah, I forgot I even had that. So you dry enough to change?”

“I suppose I am, I’ll be right back.” She set the brush down turn to walk down the hall. As she walked she undid the towel and lowered it down to her waist giving Johnny brief view of her incredible butt before she secured it around herself covering her derriere and retreated to another room.

Johnny stood there for a moment, his erection returning with a vengeance. Hoping he could calm himself down again before Celestia came back, Johnny took a seat on the couch and turn the TV on and looked for anything that might take his mind that perfect backside he’d just witnessed.

After a few minutes of scrolling through the channel guide Johnny saw Tia finally returned with his Mighty Duck hockey jersey in addition to the towel still wrapped around her waist like a skirt. On Johnny the jersey fit well enough, hanging loosely down to his thighs. For someone as tall as Celestia it would normally would be able to just reach her waist, but the detour of her ample breast would not allow the hem to go down so far and left her midriff exposed just as Johnny predicted.

“So, how do I look?” Tia asked make a little pose, her arms akimbo with one hand on her hip and the other behind her head.

“Nice, fact why bother waiting for your dress to come out of the dryer?” Johnny joked, “Head on out to the hotel and I’ll just bring it by later.”

Tia smiled at the response and took a seat by Johnny as he continued scrolling through the channels.

“So do you have any plans today?” Tia asked, “What do you normally do?”

“Well assuming I don’t have anything, like laundry, keeping me home or errands to keep me busy there’s plenty of stuff. Hit the beach for some surf, the basketball courts, workout at the gym, the movies, hang out at the mall or shopping plaza, or spend time with my friends.”

“Sounds like you have a lot of fun here. Do you spend a lot of time with Isaac and Charlie?”

“Nah, Isaac works most days and I really don’t like any chance meetings with Simon or Davidson and Charlie’s a teacher so I’m not just going to show up at school to hang with that dick. I guess I spend more time with Frankie and Matt since they got more free time.”

“Are the nice, ooh are they handsome?” Tia asked taking an interest in his friends.

“Oh no,” Johnny laughed, “not by your standards anyway. Matt’s a really lanky dude and Frankie’s a big fat fuck.”

“That’s not a nice thing to say about your friends.” Tia chastised.

“So, they’re my friends and I know what assholes they can be. I’ll say what I want about them and I’m sure they’ll respond in kind. You see it’s about mutual respect and occasionally mutual disrespect.”

“That’s terrible, friends should always have respect for one another…,” Tia lectured thinking of all the lessons of friendship Twilight shared with her.

“Whoa, whoa, chill out.” Johnny held his hand up for her to stop. “Jesus you act like I’m the worst just for poking a little fun at my friends.”

“I’m just warning you that acting like that could cost you your friends. How would you feel if your friends spoke like that you?”

“Pretty good usually, they sometime come up with some decent insults for me. Really it only gets annoying when they trying using insults to get me to drink. Gotta tell you, it can be rough being the only guy that doesn’t drink in a group of drunks. But I think they respect me for not giving into fucking peer pressure, or at the very least appreciate having a designated driver. It’s one or the other.”

“It really doesn’t bother you to be insulted by your friends.”

“No not by my friends. Either they don’t mean it and I won’t hold it against them or they do mean it and I definitely earned it so that’s on me. That’s just how we are, that’s why it works. Well, for the most part away.”

“Just be careful not to go too far. You really can lose friendships over a few hurtful words.” She warned.

“We’re pretty good at not crossing the line, and when we do, it get resolved you know. We bitch about it, make idle threats, maybe trade a few blows, then after a few day realize it’s just some stupid shit, get over it and move on like nothing happened. Sometimes we even apologize… sometimes.”

With a sigh Tia dropped the issue and sat silently watching the TV scroll through the channel guide.

“So how about you, what are your plans for the day?” Johnny asked. “I mean I know you’re on a manhunt but the clubs won’t open until tonight. What you gonna do till then?”

“The same plan as yesterday, find some hot stud to fuck me blind.”

“You know, that sounds more like an objective than as actual plan,” Johnny commented. “I meant what are you going to until you find a guy? You gonna hit the beach and sunbath, go surfing, play volleyball or maybe checkout the mall, see a movie, or what?”

“As fun as all of that sounds I only have two weeks to get out all of my sexual frustrations so I need to focus on finding a man.”

“Geez, so all you intend to do is find a boyfriend to have a little fling with?”

“Who said anything about a boyfriend?” Tia asked, “I’m not looking for a relationship, I just want to have the most amazing sex possible. If the first guy I fuck doesn’t blow my mind then I’ll move on to the next guy and the next until I find someone who’s so good he leaves me nothing but a quivering mass of nerves unable to do anything but wait for the next time he’s ready to fuck me more.”

“Um, okay,” Johnny responded tentatively, “suddenly I’m a little worried for you. I don’t mean to sound hypocritical, I mean I know pretty much everyone on this island’s trying to get laid, but you seem to be a little too… gung ho about this.”

“What are you talking about?” Tia asked sounding offended, “What’s wrong with being excited? I’ve been waiting for this trip for months. I haven’t had sex in a long time, and I’ve been frustrated for even longer. So sorry if you think I’m a little overzealous at my chance to work out those frustrations.”

“I didn’t say it’s wrong, I just think maybe you’re…” He hesitated, “well, it just feels like… you’re gonna to do something stupid.”

“How dare you? How dare you even suggest that I would do something foolish?”

“Well for starters you’re clearly setting yourself up for disappointment. The “most amazing sex possible,” is you ultimate goal. People here are just looking to have fun, meet someone interesting and/or attractive, get laid, and then move on. Sure, everyone else is hoping have great fuck, but they’re not expecting find the pinnacle of sex. I know you’re not asking for advice but seriously maybe just spend you days just enjoying the island life and save the manhunt for the club scene when everyone’s on the same page. If you find your stud while relaxing and having fun, great, and if you don’t you still got memories of having fun here.”

“I told you I’m not here for fun. I only have two week for my vacation and I intend to spend as much time as possible having sex. You just don’t understand how badly I need this, how desperately I have to have sex.”

“Please don’t talk to me about wanting to have sex.” Johnny said with an amused smirk. “You can’t have gone that long without sex, no longer than I have at least.”

“It’s been a hundred and fifty year!” Tia exclaimed making Johnny go wide-eyed, “Over a hundred years since I’ve had someone’s dick inside me. Centuries since I’ve had a worthwhile orgasm. So yes “desperately” is not an understatement on how badly I need sex, and not good sex, not great sex, but amazing sex! So don’t talk down you me like you have any clue what I’m going through.”

“Okay so yeah, a little longer than I’ve gone but still a little much don’t you think. You don’t need to make such a big deal out of this.”

“It is a big deal, Johnny I’ve tried to hold myself back. The first thirty years were tough and then I hit my stride and it got easier. But the past couple of year the urges came back and it became difficult to control myself again. The past few months have been maddening Johnny. Masturbation isn’t enough to satisfy this lewd body of mine, I’ve tried and it only makes it worse. If I don’t take care of these urges, they’ll drive me crazy so I have to do whatever it takes to satiate this hunger that is just consuming me.”

“Whatever it takes?” Johnny questioned, “Wait didn’t you already say no shorties or uggos?”

“I need someone hot to really turn me on, with a big cock to stretch me out, stamina to go the distance, and if necessary any kinky fetish bring out this carnal lust burning inside me, out in an explosion of pleasure. Once I find someone worth fucking I’ll do anything they want if it gets me off. If they want to face fuck me, if they want anal, if they want to tie me up and spank me, whip me, pee on me, anything if it keeps him hard and makes him fuck me harder. If the sex is incredible enough, I’ll become my new lover’s plaything until it’s time for me to return to Canterlot. Two weeks, two week to become some hot stud’s cum-dump, to become a dirty, filthy whore, a slutty, wanton, nympho…”

“Okay, okay enough I get it!” Johnny held his hands up as he pleaded for her to stop. “I clearly underestimated how important this was to you. Jesus, did I say was a “little worried” about you because now I am genuinely scared for you now. I think you have a problem and it just might get you in trouble. Instead of this sex romp, maybe you should get professional help, and by “professional” I don’t mean a gigolo.”

“You, you, how dare you keep treating me like this. There is nothing wrong with me, how could you even suggest that?”

“Well for starters you just explained, in intimate detail, how desperate you are for sex to a guy you know, not twenty-four hours.”

“I… I well,” Tia face shifted from irritation to shocked realization before hiding her face in her hands. “Oh my goodness, I did do that, didn’t I? I can’t believe I actually told you all that.”

“Yeah same here, I just hope this is the dumbest thing you do because of your desperation. Seriously, after last night I’m really worried about you poor judgment.”

“I do not have poor judgement,” Tia declared returning from behind her hands. “I’ll admit, I may have had a little too much to drink, but that is a mistake I will not repeat.”

“Says many an alcoholic,” Johnny remarked earning another glare from Tia.

“I’m not an alcoholic. Charlie and I were just enjoying a nice talk over drinks and we had few too many.”

“And decided to have to have a quickie in the restroom, a rather disgusting one at that.”

“Yes, well, it seemed like a fun idea at the time. But I’ll be sure to avoid going past my limit from now on.”

“You know, drinking too much and waking up with regret is the least of the troubles you can find yourself in if you’re not careful. Did you forget about Victor? You do realize that if Charlie hadn’t shown up you probably wouldn’t have woken up in a bed this morning. About now you’d be walking out of an alley somewhere, naked, dazed and confuse, and that’s if you’re lucky.”

“Oh, yes I guess I had forgotten about him. We don’t actually know if he really intended to drug me. Even if he or anyone else does, I intend to be more vigilant to that possibility and avoid letting anyone from trying to take advantage of me like that.”

“Yeah, until you get tanked and decide that the back of a windowless van is just the best place to get better acquainted with some random ass dude and his friends.”

“Would you stop, I’m not so reckless that I’ll blindly trust anyone, even if they do meet every physical quality I’m looking. I take the time to get to someone before I’m ready to throw myself at them. As much as I want to have sex, I refuse to just give myself to some cruel arrogant asshole. I deserve better, I came here for the best available.”

“Well, I hope you find it. Just don’t get yourself kidnapped and have Luna send in the Equestrian military to scavenge the island looking for you.”

“Do you really think so little of me to assume that I’m just an easy target for abduction?”

“Only in the terms that your plan on this islands seem to basically be wearing a figurative sign on you back that says “Please rape me, I’m an easy target” but otherwise.”

“Would an easy target be so readily able to defend her like so?” Tia’s horn appeared glowing upon her brow as Johnny began to float up in a golden aura matching Tia’s magic. “I’m sure that my magic can handle anyone who might be problem.”

“You’re sure about that?” Johnny asked before taking a quick swipe at Tia’s horn barely reaching its tip from where he floated. The construct of light shuddered for a moment before breaking apart, the pieces fading from existence while Johnny dropped back down free from her magic.

“And just like that you’re in trouble again, and this is if your assailant doesn’t have a gun or knife, or a partner that you haven’t noticed yet.”

“That doesn’t count, I was going easy on you.” Tia protested, “Honest, I can protect myself from any would be abductors. So stop worrying about me.”

“Well that’s not gonna happen, you know the town might seem safe and carefree, with its easygoing sexual freedom, but it not for nothing that I’m worried for you. Shit happens and your approach leaves you wide open to be taken advantage of.”

“What could possibly have you so worried?”

“Truthfully, abductions aren’t that uncommon, in fact several months ago there was this super fucked up story on the local news.” Johnny explained grabbing Tia’s attention, “These two guys over several weeks abducted fifteen people and like four or five of them were dudes. And they just sexually abused the fuck out of them, several of them died.”

“Oh my goodness, that’s horrible,” Tia gasped in at the news. “What happened? They were arrested right?”

“Yeah, and the police found the survivors but most of them were hospitalized for a while afterwards. I think another one of them died in the hospital because their injuries were just too severe.”

“Do such things happen often?”

“Well, it’s not like it’s something you can set your watch to but it not uncommon for people to be abducted. Usually anyone who disappears shows up a few days later, either with little or no knowledge of what happened. Although in all fairness some of them were likely just blackout drunks, but still.”

“I never thought that this place could be so dangerous. Cadance didn’t mention any such risks.”

“What you think that’s something with put in the travel brochure? “Come for the sun, sand and sex! Not legally responsible for abductions, kidnappings, rapes, or loss of organs to black-marketers.” Yeah that’ll bring in the tourists in droves.”

“Loss of organs?” Celestia asked in shock.

“Okay, I haven’t actually heard of that happening since I’ve been here but I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“Well what do you expect me to do then, cancel my vacation?”

“No of course not, this place is awesome! I just saying take some precautions, before blindly jumping into the club scene tonight. Spend the day having fun, making friends and see if anyone wants to hang with you tonight. Someone you can trust to watch you back in case things get a little shady. Or at the very least someone who can identify your abductor to the cops.”

“While I appreciate the advice, and admittedly I myself would likely offer such advice to other, I repeat that I have only two weeks to fit a suitable lover. I’m not here to make friends and I prefer to focus on my goal.”

“Come on, it’s not like it’s hard and time consuming to make friends, and you can still keep an eye out for any guys you’re interested in.”

“If I’m lucky, yes I could make fast friends who could keep me company while I search. But if luck were indeed on my side I’d rather use such luck to find the perfect lover.”

“I think it will take more than just luck to find a perfect anything.” Johnny stated.

.“As long as he meets my physical needs then I suppose he doesn’t need to be “perfect.” I’ll settle for a decent man as long as his sexual talents are impressive.” Celestia smiled as her mind began to wonder, “If he can recognize when to be gentle, when to be rough, and know that I am not a conquest but a treasure to be enjoyed for the short time we have together. Ooh, that will suit me just fine.”

Johnny looked on with surprise as one of Celestia’s hands began fondling one her breast through the his jersey while her other hand made its way down to her lap, her towel being the only thing stopping it from continuing down between her legs.

“Once I’m sure he’ll treat me right, and then comes the best part. When he takes that hard over-sized cock, and forces it into my tight wet pussy, stretching me to my limits and just… and just…” Celestia moans gripping the towel around her waist ready to pull it away, “… and just ruins me.”

A burst of laughter shocks Celestia out of her fantasy leaving her dazed and confused until she turned to Johnny laughing by her side.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” He said getting his laughter under control and ending with a long sigh, “I just, I was not prepared for that last part. Oh man, seriously listen you sometimes is like listen to the dialogue of either a really good or really bad porno. I love it.”

“It’s not that funny.” Celestia said in embarrassment as Johnny started laughing a little more.

“Oh come on, I would love to watch a porno with a star that talks like you, even one of those where the star speaks to the viewer before the scene. Like if the she said “Hi everyone, are you ready to see me get my ass wrecked.” Oh my God, oh my God! Can you imagine if Bonnie Rotten had said that before her ass prolapsed? How amazing would that have been if she had said that only for her ass to literally get ruined like that?”

“Wha-, who? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sorry, but that thought. In fact, little warning though.” Johnny said with a smile hold back more laughter, “If you plan on getting some anal action, watch your ass.”

Celestia’s brow furrowed as she watched Johnny cracking up again. She just stared at him until he settled down again under gaze.

“Okay sorry, I’m done I promise I’m done. I wasn’t joking though, not completely. If you’re going to have crazy sex all week be careful that you don’t hurt yourself. I never saw that particular scene but I can only imagine that the first time her ass prolapsed must have been painful or at least traumatic as hell.”

“What are you talking about? Prolapsed? What are you talking about? What is a prolapsed ass?”

“Oh, damn I shouldn’t have said anything. Um, well, I was just kidding the odd of that unlikely but, yeah um. Geez, a prolapsed ass is when part of the ass, well, the last part of the digestive tract moves down. So it’s basically like pooping out part of your lower intestines except it goes back in since it’s you know attached to you.”

“That, that can happen?” Celestia asked her own asshole clinching tight. “That not really possible is it?”

“Oh it’s possible. I may not have seen the scene when it first happened but since then Bonnie Rotten has made prolapsing her ass part of her repertoire. She does it on purpose now. The first time I saw it, well it didn’t ruin it for me, but it certainly wasn’t a bonus. Damn it looks messed up and I’m pretty sure that shit is permanent.”

“Well that does sound unpleasant.” Celestia responded in a more relaxed tone. “I suppose I should thank you for your concern but you needn’t worry about me even if I were to suffer from such affliction.”

“Why’s that, you a masochist or something?”

“No! You forget that I am an Equestrian Princess of Alicorn blood, I’m sure that if that were ever to happen to me I would be able to recover.”

“You sure about that? I think you’d need to get surgery in order to fix that kind of thing.”

“I’m quite confident, since my healing ability has not only kept me alive for all these centuries but has maintained this perfect body of mine. In fact I’ll have you know that thanks to my healing power my vagina is as tight as the day I popped my cherry?”

“I can’t help but doubt that,” Johnny scoffed with the snort of a repressed laugh.

“It’s true, centuries of sex, centuries of finding and fucking the thickest dicks and being stretched to my absolute limit and hardly a day or two passes before my pussy is as pristine as a virgin’s.”

“Well good for you. Good luck getting as wreck as possible.”

“Thank you.”

“Wow that was not meant as a complement but alright.” Johnny said as he checked the timer on his phone then changed the TV to HDMI 2. “Welp, we’ve talked abductions, rape, death and prolapsed assholes. I think I wanna focus on something a little more cheerful. Let’s look at a world of nuclear Armageddon.”

Celestia didn’t respond as Johnny stood up and walked over to shelves filled with movies and video games returning after starting an Xbox 360 and returning with a controller as the Fallout 3 title began to appear.

“Did you say nuclear Armageddon?” Celestia asked.

“Yeah, that’s the setting for this game two hundred years after a nuclear war in an alternate time-line. I think I’m gonna start a new game I should have enough time to get past the G.O.A.T. before I have to move your dress to the dryer.”

“The goat? What do you mean-“

“Hold up I love this part. “War… war never changes…”” Johnny spoke in synch with the opening line of the narration before the two of them listened to story of Fallout. ““…because war… war never changes” man I fucking love that line.”

“This is a game?”

“Yeah you never played? It’s awesome, so is New Vegas.” Johnny praised with sigh, “Fallout 4 is also great but I miss some the elements that they removed from New Vegas to part four. Things like the the karma and reputation systems. The skills and the armor/weapon condition system. I love the crafting system for weapons and armor in Fallout but still wish it had that degrading condition where you had to sacrifice similar armors or weapons to fix up the weapons and armor you’re using.

“I also miss the old perk system,” he continued, “as fun as the perk tree is it’s too simple and now we’re limited to only seventy perks plus ranks. I’ll also miss the old dialogue system, as fun as it is to actually hear your character talk being limited to four speech options is a bit of a let down. Then there’s the check system being simplified to just the charisma stat. I loved have a speech check, or barter check, or a perception check call someone out on lying or using a strength check for intimidation or those unique speech option that came with the Black Widow and Lady Killer perks.”

“That’s very interesting,” Celestia said, “except I honest don’t really know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh right, sorry. If you want I can explain it as I go.” Johnny offer, “Otherwise I can offer a book to read maybe a manga. You could finish a couple volumes by the time your dress is out.”

“No, if you say this game is interesting then I’m fine seeing for my self what you enjoy about it. Though I do wonder if my sister has played this?”

“That’s a good question I never asked Luna if she’s played this. Then again after beating her so many times in Black Ops she rarely speaks in anything other than smack talk.”

“Yes Black Ops, she does get rather upset when she- Wait you know my sister?” Celestia asked in surprise.

“Yeah, everyone knows GamerLuna though I’m one of the lucky few to be counted as a friend on both Xbox Live and the Playstation Plus Network. Maybe I’ll catch her in a better mood next time we team up on Overwatch or something.”

“I didn’t know that you… Do you actually know my sister? You’re friends with Princess Luna of Equestria?”

“Well you know, online friends. In real life I’ve only meet her like twice though.”

“You meet her, in person? So I’m not the first princess you’ve met.” Celestia said softly at the revelation.

“I guess not, hadn’t really thought about it. I meet her in college she crashed a party my friend was throwing. It was huge and people looked like they were about to lose their shit over it. The second time it was in Paris, France, a couple of years later. I went to a rave were that same friend of mine was DJ’ing and Luna crashed that party too. Everybody went nuts cheering for her, especially when she hit the dance floor.”

“Yes I’ve heard my sister has become quite popular over the decades attending parties when she should be focused on her nightly duties. Though I could never deny her the occasional levity when she’s missed so much over the centuries.”

“Yeah, it’s almost weird how popular she is. Like, imagine if you combined Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian and somehow managed form a decent human being. That’s how popular Luna is.”

“So what was my sister like when you met her?”

“The first time she was pleasant, said hi to everyone who greeted her. Well everyone willing to stop bowing long enough to actually greet her. Now that I think of it, hardly any Equestrians stopped bowing. It was mostly non-Equestrians that were freakin’ stoked to meet an actual princess. The second time I got to talk to her in the backroom.”

“Really, you got some alone time with my sister?” Celestia asked with a tone of disbelief.

“Oh no, I was just there to hang with my friend Vinyl but Luna insisted on complementing her for the music. The three of us got to talking, and eventually I asked if she was the gamer everyone says she is. She seemed upset that I doubted her so I gave her my gamertags and asked her to look me up and prove she’s as skilled as she claims. The next night I get her invite on Xbox live and she’s sweeping me in four games of Madden. Since then I’ve played with her at least once a month and sometimes as often as three nights in a row.”

“I just can’t believe I just meet one of Luna’s online friends on my vacation.”

“If I hadn’t asked Cadence to keep my vacation plans a secret I’d think my sister asked you watch over me. In fact, if I were to ask you if you wanted to spend time with me tonight…?”

“I’d have you say “thanks for the invite but I got work tonight.” Seriously just the thought of you desperately hunt for a man is amusing to me. If my hours hadn’t been so viciously cut back so much I’d call in and take up your offer. But unless Luna actually does have a paycheck for me to babysit you I’m gonna have to pass.”

“Excuse me, “babysit?” More like escort.” Celestia said with offense.

““Escort?” Sorry babe but I ain’t nobody’s ho.” Johnny smiled at his joke.

“Honestly, do I look like someone who has to pay for sex?” Celestia laughed, “Even if I were to stoop so low I can afford my dream stud instead of settling for you.”

“Oh yeah, well watch yourself because if you decide now not to “stoop so low” you might finding you and your fingers having to go solo!” Johnny laughed out loud and Celestia despite herself couldn’t help joining in.

“Jerk.” Celestia replied, “Just you wait, next time you see me I’ll being hang off some muscle bound stud walking back to my room for some bedtime fun.”

“Yeah good luck with that.” Johnny smiled earning another glare from Tia felt him mocking and doubting her skill of seduction of the men she was sure to find.

Time passed as Johnny rushed through the game explaining the story to Celestia with spoilers since he felt she’d likely not take enough interest to follow up on the game with Luna and learn about the rest of the game herself. By the time he explained the skill tags and chosen explosives, lockpick and speech for his character, the alarm went off and he left to put Tia’s dress in the dryer.

As she wait Tia stretched on the couch and took a moment to admire her long legs only to realized that she was missing something beyond her dress and purse.

“Shouldn’t be too much longer now,” Johnny said upon his return, “I should be able to save Megaton and find that sniper rifle hidden behind it before you dress is ready.”

“Thank you Johnny but I’ve just noticed something. What happened to my shoes?”

“Oh,” Johnny froze just short of picking up the controller. Turning back to the door he went to pick up a pair of high heeled shoes, except one was missing a heel, high or otherwise.

“There you go, sorry I didn’t realize that one of the heels was missing. I was barely able to find them in the dark.”

“Aw, but I looked so good in these.” Tia mourn the lose of her sexy shoes.

“Yeah sorry, um, oh you can borrow these.” Johnny kicked off his own shoes and slide them to Celestia. “Am I wrong to think you have brought more shoes on your vacation?”

“Thank you,” she said looking at the worn shoes before slipping one on. Despite her height Tia had dainty feet and easily slipped into Johnny’s shoe that may have been half, or even a full size larger that her own. “I appreciate it. You don’t mind me using these?”

“I got a pair a shower sandals I can use. Just return those as soon as we get back to the resort.”

“Of course.”

Johnny continued with his game as he asked Celestia about the choices he had to make. Obviously, with the explanations on the outcomes Celestia insisted on the one that left the Overseer alive. Tia the gasps seeing the depiction of the wasteland after leaving the Vault.

As predicted after saving Megaton and finding the hallowed out rock behind it with the sniper rifle the alarm went off again and with a save Johnny left to retrieve Tia’s dress.

It didn’t take long after Johnny’s return that Tia was back in her dress and ready to head out. She did feel quite as sexy wearing sneaker instead of her heels but they were a better option over the worn sandals that Johnny was now wearing.

“Why are you bring those socks?” Tia asked, “You’re not planning to stuff your pants and get the attention of some young girls are you? Maybe some girls jealous of the beauty by your side?

“Nope, but I am planning on putting these on once you give me back my shoes.” Johnny then opened the door, “Ladies first.”

With that they left for the resort.

Author's Note

So I finally did it. I finally updated this story.

Sorry you readers had to wait so long for an exposition chapter. It was the last scene that was so hard for me to do. While they were talking on the couch about Luna I wanted to write in a bonding moment for them. It just became to awkward no matter how I tried to make so I finally just drop that segment and put together this ending for this chapter.

I cannot and will not promise when the next chapter will be up. But I will try to continue this story, that's all any writer can do.