Don't get stoned, get a job!
Are there trees in Tartarus?
Yeah, there are but they’re kind of dead and stone like and only exist deep within the prison where no-pony has gone before. It is here that the demons live, fight, and laze around.
In one of the many stone trees laid our protagonist, a human turned video game character.
His name was Sean P. Lewis and he was a cosplayer, but after giving fifty dollars to a salesman dressed up as that merchant guy from Resident Evil and a choice to put it on then, he became-
“ADELL!”
The red head shot up in surprise, hitting a branch above hard enough to crack it. A gloved hand went on top of his head, rubbing the growing bump. “Owowow.” He looked to the demon who had called him, a red bat-like demon pony wearing common warrior armor, which was just shorts and a headband with a short sword hanging off the flank.
Her name was Zukerela, though anyone who knew her just called her Zuku. She was also Adell’s closest friend.
“Did you have to scream?” Adell asked before carefully maneuvering himself out of the tree.
“Yes!” Zuku said with a disgruntled snort. “I know how you get after training! You never wake up!”
The guilty redhead rubbed his red head in embarrassment. ”Sorry.”
“Anyways, the big guys want us for some reason.”
Adell slumped. “Dammit, today was supposed to be my day off to train. I just reincarnated last week and I’m only level 159.”
“They said it was important. Might lead to use getting out of Tartarus and exploring that pony land.” Zuku lightly hit Adell in the knee. “You know those regular ponies have nothing on us.”
Adell winced and started walking towards the stairs. “I know. It’s just, I have a bad feeling about this. I mean, you did hear the explosions the other day, right?”
“Yeah, but I thought that was you training.” Zuku started flying up beside him as they reached the stairs and started going up. “You do make stuff explode a lot.”
“Well, I was resting when I heard it,” Adell responded. “Its got to be something big.”
Zuku shrugged again as they began the long trek to the top floor.
The thing about Tartarus is, unlike Hell, it has thirteen layers and only two are dedicated to torturing and holding the souls of the wicked.
The top layer is where the entrance and holding cells are. For some reason, the Tartarus Tourism Committee thought this would be a good idea.
However, those that run that layer are very lazy, with only five demons actually running the layer on a regular basis.
They are Adell, Zukerela, and Cerberus, who is that layer’s leader.
Adell walked up to the three headed dog who was acting like a puppy, Zuku sitting on his right shoulder like a demented parrot. He sweatdropped as he saw the middle head chewing on a ball he knew the demon didn’t have a week ago.
He coughed into his hand, capturing the dog’s attention. The middle head dropped the ball as they sat up quickly into place, looking as stern as they usually did.
“Grrrr….” The middle head growled lightly.
“We didn’t see anything, Boss.” Adell chuckled, saluting along with Zuru.
“Rrrrr. Rawrf.” The left head looked a little dejected as it glanced toward the holding cells, some of them empty.
“Wait, what? How did we not notice that?” Adell gasped.
Zuku snickered. “Maybe because no-pony had mentioned them yet.”
Adell flicked his partner on the head as Cerberus’ right head continued.
“Woof woof woof.”
“Why do we have to get them back?” Zuku asked logically.
“Grrrr…. boof.”
“Oh yeah…. you have guard duty.”
“Boof woof.”
Adell sputtered at what the left head said. “The princesses? Why would we need their help?”
“Arf arf.”
“But we can gather those prisoners before they even notice us. It’s only three or four, right?”
“.... boof.”
“Twenty two!” Both Zuku and Adell exclaimed.
“How did you let that many slip by you?!” Zuku asked, looking at the cells again.
The three heads whined at once, looking ashamed.
“Changelings? Why would they attack you and lead you to pony town?” Adell put a hand to his chin. “It doesn’t make any sense unless they wanted some of them, but how would they even know unless…” Adell came to a chilling realization. “D-did Kranon get out?”
All three heads nodded at once, much to Adell’s horror.
“Shit. Those ponies still tell stories about him.” Zuku hissed, hopping off Adell’s shoulder. “We need to go, now!”
Adell nodded, walking away and retreating into his thoughts.
Kranon used to be a normal, run of the mill serial killer. His name used to be Gary C. Rivera.
At least, until he attended the same convention as Sean P. Lewis and bought a silly hat that looked like a penguin from the same game as Sean.
Thus, a horrible monster was deposited into the same Equestria as one of the weaker monsters from Disgaea.
He became a human soul trapped in the body of a Prinny.
And for fifteen years, he brought misery and death to the smaller towns until the Princesses finally found him and used the Elements of Harmony on him, banishing him to the holding cells of Tartarus.
And he would have stayed there if not for the machinations of a queen trying to conquer the fair land.
Said prinny was currently on his way to see said bug queen with an escort of her strongest warriors, an evil grin planted on his beak and a plan already brewing in his head.
“So, I know I’ve asked this about fifteen times already, but what’s this queen like?” Kranon asked for the seventeenth time, only to be met with silence for the seventeenth time.
“Geeze, and I thought Adell was quiet around me.” Kranon snickered. “At least he had the decency to yell at me when I called him a demon-slut.”
The lead changeling rolled his bug eyes, knowing that it was still five more miles to the hive.
It would be a long five miles.
Celestia sat in her room, looking over Spike’s letter to her about his adventures meeting his own kind and getting his own phoenix friend out of the ordeal.
She looked to Philomena, perched beside her bed and alert. She smiled warmly and walked over to the fire bird and rubbed her head with a wing.
The princess closed her eyes and thought back to when she first found Philomena near the Dragonlands.
She was making a huge fuss over her broken wing and not being as smart as she was today, Celestia took her back to Canterlot to get her wing healed.
After that, the overly-dramatic phoenix stayed in Canterlot.
Celestia was snapped out of her trip down memory lane when another letter flopped into her room, covered in dog slobber.
She grabbed it in her telekinesis and brought it to her face with a grimace.
The letter was completely incomprehensible with lines of ink all over it.
She did what anyone would do if they got spam.
She threw it in the trash.
Author's Note
Yeah, I know about the one with Laharl.
Thought I'd finally try and make a Disgaea fic.
Please leave any questions and comments below.
What Adell looks like.
What a Prinny looks like.
BONUS CHAPTER: The Ballad of Trixie and Axel
As it turns out, the Merchant made a killing on the same Earth as Sean and Gary as many more humans bought stuff from him from the same gaming franchise.
He sent most of them to the same Equestria for shits and giggles.
There were some he sent to different Equestrias but that’s a story for another time and another author.
For now, we focus on one who has just escaped his imprisonment from Tartarus but abandoned by the Changelings who were escorting him days ago.
The greatest action hero and rock star!
Dark Hero Axel!
Trixie stared at the creature that had stumbled to the ground and collapsed in front of her cart. It looked rather weird in the clothing it was wearing.
Trixie did what she did with all weird things she found.
She poked it in the head with a stick.
*gurgle*
The Great and Powerful Trixie jumped back as it raised an appendage and finally spoke.
“Foooooooood.”
It lifted it’s head, their purple eyes meeting and spark went between them.
They could see the same pain in their souls.
They could see that they had the same eyes.
And for a moment, they sat in awkward but meaningful silence, finally broken by the thing’s stomach growling again.
“W-would you like to have some of Trixie’s gruel?”
One meal and pony exposition later…
“Ouch. That does kind of suck.” Axel winced seeing how Trixie’s life didn’t go so well.
“Yes, and now Trixie is mocked and belittled at every town she goes to.” The show pony looked to the ground, tears pouring out of her eyes. They stopped when she felt Axel’s hand go to her back.
“Trixie, there’s something I’ve learned in my long life. If you are beat at something you’re talented at, you just need to keep trying.” Axel smiled, his teeth actually doing that flash thing. “And I have the perfect idea to get you practice and get you back into show biz!”
“A-and what would that be?”
The demon just smiled as he told her the plan.
A week later…
All of Ponyville approached the meadow where a mysterious stage had popped up.
Already, Pinkie was shooting off ideas about where it had come from.
“Oh, maybe a space ship dropped it off and aliens are going to pop out a brain wash us and take our brains!”
Her antics were not calming the town down.
“Pinkie, It’s not space aliens. There’d be more signs if it was.” Rainbow dash said, exasperated.
“But they don’t want to show any signs before they pop up and-” Pinkie’s mouth was stuffed with an apple, courtesy of an unamused Applejack.
“Darlings, I already know what it’s about.” Rarity spoke up in the middle of her friends, causing everyone to look at her.
“Well?” They all asked at the same time.
“Last night, I had this commission I just had to finish and I happened to glance outside and saw none other than Trixie.”
Twilight gasped. “Trixie? But why would she be back?”
The question went unanswered as a loud screech came from the stage causing everypony to cover their ears and look to the stage, where--lo and behold--Trixie was standing with a microphone in her magical grip.
The show mare wasn’t wearing her cape now and had a bass guitar on her back. She glanced to Axel standing behind the curtains, giving her a ‘go on’ gesture with his hands. She coughed into her hoof before she started to speak.
“Hello citizens of Ponyville! The Great and Powerful Trixie is here with an important announcement and a show!”
Many of the ponies started scoffing and getting their mandatory rotten tomatoes ready.
The mane six just sat in silence as Trixie continued.
“Trixie is now making a band with the one and only Dark Hero! We shall amaze all of Equestria with our music! And here is where we start!”
Her horn lit up and covered the stage in smoke as she and Axel quickly got everything ready leaving the ponies in confusion. They started muttering.
That’s when the music started up, stopping all talk in it’s tracks.
And then the lyrics came in on a foreign language, confusing most ponies.
Soon, they started to like it and the smoke finally went away to show Axel singing and rocking it out with Trixie on the bass.
~
From afar, Adell sweatdropped, seeing the concert in full swing. “Well, we can’t bring Axel in now.”
“And why not? He’s right there for the picking!” Zuku exclaimed, her wings flapping irritably.
“He became a rock star. If we try to take him back now, his fans will tear us apart.” The red-head pointed out with a shudder before starting to walk away.
Zuku huffed loudly before flying ahead of Adell.
Adell glanced back as the ponies started cheering, Axel and Trixie bowing. He smiled, a tear going down his face. “Keep going for your dreams, little brother. I’ll be supporting you from here.”
He wiped away his tears before following Zuku.
Author's Note
Yeah, I just had to add him in real quick. Don't worry, more will come from him.
Specifically, around the time of a certain episode dealing with an amulet.
BONUS BONUS:
Trixie: So what did you get thrown into prison for?
Axel: Erm, it was more of a time out. I accidentally cut off my brother's ahoge.
Trixie: Ahoge?
Axel: It's the cow lick he's really proud of because he got it so long. He put me in there for a fifty year sentence.
Trixie: For cutting his hair?
Axel: He really cares about anime tropes, especially his idiot hair.
Tons of new OCs and a cheater
The red-headed demon approached the seventh layer of Tartarus, where most of the demons and monsters lived.
“Why do we need to hire more demons to help us? We can take out all of those demons with one hoof behind our back!”
Adell glanced back at Zuku as they walked through the city of metal, rock, and duct tape. “Because I get the feeling at least one of them will have an army backing them. We should at least get a medic.”
“Then why are we in the weakest part of town!” Zuku stomped her hooves in protest. “I mean, we could get much stronger medics in the part of town that isn’t being held together by sticky silver plastic!”
Adell held up two fingers.”Two reasons. One, this is a long journey, kinda like a video game. We’re just starting so we get starter stuff.”
“Still don’t know what a video game is. You know, training isolation.”
“Two, I want to give some lucky demons a chance to get more powerful and go to the better part of town.” Adell smiled at the fuming Zuru as they reached what they had come for... the hiring board.
It was a big piece of plywood with papers of demons and descriptions all over it.
Zuku grumbled as they walked up to it and started looking through the papers. She saw a paper for a healer named Allure and grabbed it in her mouth. “Okay, found a healer! Let’s go pick her up and go!”
She started to walk off but was grabbed at her headband by Adell. “Hold on, I found two other interesting demons to recruit.” He muttered as he pulled off two papers and showed them to her.
“Really, a Red Skull and a Thief? Why?”
“Because we need long range fire and someone who can move quickly.”
“That’s what a magic knight and ninja are for!”
“There’s a method to my madness.” Adell chuckled, walking away to get the new characters.
Adell covered his eyes as he and Zuku walked through the gates.
Close behind them followed three new figures.
The first one was tall and slender deer with shaggy blonde fur and eyes that were perpetually closed. On her head were a pair of small antlers, decorated in simple gems and gold chains to enhance her looks while making her magic that much better. She wore a simple sleeveless black and red striped dress with noticeable patches in it where she had to fix it several times before. Her name was Allure.
The next one was a deer demon as well, only shorter and a bit fatter with rust colored fur. He wore all read with shorts, a long sleeve shirt, and a cape. The most noticeable thing about him though was the fact that his face and head were completely covered by a larger deer skull, only a pair of red eyes peeking out. The antlers on the skull had been shortened but sharpened to make his spells all the more deadly. His name was Matchstick.
The last one was the oddest one out. She looked like a normal griffon at first, if not kind of weird for her fur color being a light shade of purple. However, the changes came out as one came close. For one, she was wearing red goggles around her neck and a red toolbelt around her ‘waist’ with a gun holstered there. For another thing, her wings were radically different with them turning into bat wings at the bottom part and her tail being much more like a common house cats.
Her name was Jasmine.
Her first act out of the gate was the cheer and jump into the air, taking flight. “The air tastes so good out here!”
The two magic users just shook their head as the griffon demon kept doing aerial stunts in the air.
“So, how did Rozalin and Thane respond to your extended away from Tartarus?” Zuku asked, looking up at the red head.
“Well…”
FLASH BACK
Adell walked into his home, a cave formed into a nice two bedroom, one bath, with two stories and lots of empty rooms. “Honey, I’m ho-” He got cut off by Rozalin just slamming into his face with her own, passionately kissing him.
He caught her and started kissing back, a young looking teenager with blonde hair with red stripes in it that fell past his pointed ears and dark red eyes stuck a finger in his mouth to make a gagging noise from the nearby couch. “Get a room.” He called out before looking back to the game on his phone.
“They reacted accordingly.”
“So, pot to the head and begging to go with you?” Zuku guessed.
“Yyyyep. Good news though. Rozalin is pregnant again.” Adell rubbed the back of his head with a huge smile on his face as he looked to the looping Jasmine.
“Oh, you dog.” Zuku smiled as well and smacked him on the butt.
“Yeah, though Thane didn’t take this news well, so we might run into him later on trying to take down one of the criminals waaaaay out of his league. And so close to him turning 1500 too.”
“Oh yeah.” Zuku put a hoof to her chin. “Probably should get him some candy then.
“You know he hates sweet stuff, right?”
“Yeah, your point?”
A couple hours later...
The same teenager from the flashback walked out the same place his father had been, covering his eyes with his arm. “Stupid light.” He grumbled, looking around. “Don’t see why this place is so special. It’s just really bright and green.” He was wearing a skin tight yellow shirt with black baggy pants and simple black slip on shoes with an opening on the back of the shirt for his small red bat wings.
“Well, you know he wasn’t a demon or from this world, Thane.” He looked back to see his best friend, a demonic diamond dog named Rusty walk out as well, his tan poncho blowing in a non-existent wind that didn’t knock off his holey blue hat. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days and his fur was a rusty brown covered by an open blue vest and his poncho. On his side were a pair of holsters with a pair of guns in them.
“I know. He’s just never told me what he was before he became a demon.” Thane muttered as he started walking with his phone out. “Anyways, let’s find that Prinny guy so maybe Dad will get stuck up here forever!”
Rusty face-pawed.
Five minutes later…
“Where are the enemies?” Thane asked irritably, putting his phone up as they entered a forested area. “I mean, we should have run into at least a bunch of enemies to be our tutorial fight.”
“Dude, calm down. It’s only been five minutes.” The gunner shrugged. “We can’t expect an enemy to just show up out of nowhere.”
Unknown to them for another minute, someone did show up.
Unfortunately, it was a thing that could kick their asses five ways to Earth and back without even knowing it.
His name was Aaron “Motherfucking” Heibai. And he entered with an explosive display of fireworks and loud music worthy of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Thane just gave Rusty a ‘told-you-so’, who responded with a ‘shut up’ look, look before taking out his sword. Then he jumped at Aaron, going, “Raaaah!”
Aaron blinked and blocked Thane without so much as a single flinch, “Well, while that’s not the worst greeting I’ve ever gotten, it’s still rude as a motherfucker. So, mind apologizing before I scatter your atoms and reform what’s left into a kitten?”
“Hey!” Thane jumped away. “You aren’t supposed to block!” The demon complained.
“Thane.” Rusty was shaking. “C-check his level!”
Thane snorted. “It can’t be that bad.” He spoke out loud, bringing up a menu in the air to check Aaron’s level. “I mean, he’s the first enemy we’ve encount- WHAT?!” He screamed, seeing the infinity symbol instead of numbers.
“Yeah…. There’s no way we can-”
“He’s a cheater!” Thane pointed a finger at Aaron.
“That’s my domain,” Aaron smirked, “Aaron ‘Motherfucking’ Heibai at your service. I’m the God of Cheating. And yes, that means I can cheat better and harder than anyone else in existence.”
Thane was getting really angry with this guy. “That’s not fair at all! You’re the first enemy! You should only be like level one or two!”
Rusty sighed. “Sorry about Thane. He’s an idiot.”
“Hey!”
“It’s true.”
“I’m not an enemy, kiddo. I’m the salesman you meet on the side of the road.” Aaron crossed his arms as space warped and distorted into Aaron’s shop, “See?”
“But I don’t have a lot of HL to spend.” Thane responded, not really bothered by the change. “My dad and mom don’t give me an allowance and the HL I did get was from stealing.”
“I got a thousand.” Rusty muttered as the two walked in.
Aaron grinned, “Don’t worry, I sell things for cheap. Not just cheap things, but really high quality things too.”
“Like the Baal Sword?” Thane’s eyes sparkled, thinking about using that huge, powerful and extremely rare sword.
“Too expensive” Rusty muttered. “Let’s just go get some manga or games.”
Thane started to pout slightly before starting to walk deeper into the shop with Rusty.
Aaron walked up to Thane, “Hey, kid, you smell weird.”
“Uh, yeah. I haven’t showered in over 300 years.”
“Not like a physical smell, but… metaphorical. Why does a demon smell like his past used to be a human when you’re clearly a full-blooded demon?”
“What’s a human?” Thane had to ask, Rusty just looking confused.
“Never mind,” Aaron shook his head, “It’s just the musings of an old God, I suppose. Anyway, go ahead and pick what you like.”
Rusty shrugged and walked off, Thane following with an irritated look on his face.
Aaron sat back and waited at the front desk, idly dozing off while Rusty and Thane did their business.
Thane was walking among the games, grumbling about not getting to know anything when the cover for a certain cover caught his eye…. Because it had an image of his mom and dad on it.
“...The hell?”
[/hr]
Thane slammed the box down on the counter in front of Aaron. “Why are my parents in a game?!”
“Because there are more things on Heaven and Earth, Thane-ratio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy,” Aaron replied, chuckling, “Bit of Hamlet, there. Anyway, it’s cuz the Multiverse is big and contains every permutation of existence ever. And I do mean every permutation.”
“...What’s Hamlet? And why did you add ‘-ratio’ to the end of my name?” Thane asked, being the clueless heathen that he was.
“... Nevermind.”
“And I still want to know what a human is?!” Thane snapped.
“Humans…. well, since you are what you are, I’m going to let you in on a bit of a thing,” Aaron half-explained, “Humans are well, sorta beings like you, except without anything especially notable about them most of the time. Most can’t even lift more than a hundred pounds.”
“They sound really lame.” Thane was picturing a really scrawny version of himself with grey hair. “And why would I be half-breed? My parents are both full demons.”
Aaron grinned, “Yes, but you weren’t, not at first. See, I looked through your history and found that, surprise surprise, you used to be a human. Well, you spent the first three months in the womb as a human.”
Thane started thinking about how he was a weak human for a month but the thoughts went too far down the wrong path. “Ewewewewew! Why did you make me think of my parents having sex?! The mental images burn my brain!”
Aaron snorted, “Serves you right for taking that path. Anyway, are you buying the game or not?”
Thane shuddered. “No. I don’t trust it now.” He pushed the box away as Rusty showed up with a carton of cigarettes, placing some golden coins with demon faces on them on the counter.
“Anyways, what does me being a human for three months have to do with anything?”
Aaron placed a hand on Thane’s shoulder, “Well, kiddo, it means you are, officially, a Displaced, due to your parents. What is a Displaced, you ask? Well that’s answered easily by me doing…. this.”
He tapped Thane between the eyes, seamlessly sliding all the relevant information about being a Displaced into Thane’s memories. “Tada~! Now, since it’s a free service I apply to all Displaced, would you like to make a Token?”
Thane held his head, grumbling about stupid headaches. “Fine.” He took out his phone. “I can use my phone right and just get a new phone?”
“Yep!”
Thane looked to the phone and said his phrase. “I am Thane, Prince of Tartarus. Call me and I will help you fight… for a fee of course. We, Demons, need money too.”
Then he tossed it to Aaron, who threw it behind him into a portal.
“So, what’s a Displaced?” Rusty asked, still confused.
“Well, it’s a human who got sent from their own universe to Equestria.” Thane muttered, looking through the phones on display before he stopped, connecting the dots over just tossing his phone away as a token.
“SHIT! ALL MY GAME DATA!”
Aaron burst into a fit of laughter, along with Rusty, “AHAHAHAHAHA! You’re a fucking dumbass!”
“SHUT UP!” Thane punched the closest being in the face… which was Aaron. “I lost my team of Hera’s!”
Aaron appeared behind Thane and handed him a phone exactly like his old one, “No you didn’t.”
“... Freaking cheater.” He pocketed his phone while Rusty continued to laugh. He started to leave. “So, guess we’ll see you later?”
“Mmm, perhaps,” Aaron grinned, snapping his fingers and letting his shop fade away, “That all depends on whether or not Thane calls me here. Ta ta~” He vanished, exiting from the Universe without leaving a single trace behind.
“Well that was weird.” Rusty finished his laughing session with that comment.
Author's Note
So yeah, lots of descriptions. I am not good at them and we introduced Displaced Adell and Rozalin’s son in this. Also, he was displaced as a fetus and is now open for crossovers!
That’s actually kind of dark now that I think about it. He was only human for three months and he couldn’t even comprehend it.
Anyways, Aaron’s a freaking cheater.
Jsyrin: This was fun to write even if I only helped with a tiny portion at the bottom. And yes, Aaron is a total cheater. That’s about all he does, really.
Original looks for the OCs save Thane.
Zuku (Valkyrie)
Allure (Healer)
Matchstick (Red Skull)
Jasmine (Thief)
Rusty (Gunner)
