A Clump Of Stumps

Jinx Jive has a problem.

It's not a missing hoof problem. It's an honesty problem.

The concussion and sprained back were real. The drink from Flim and Flam had been refreshing, and she was sure she would recover soon enough, but it didn't heal her immediately.

She was smiling and whistling as she wheeled back to her home. The concussion still had her woozy, and she didn't see the stallion she ran into.

"Ouch!" He said, and stood up, rubbing his hip. He adjusted his glasses. "Well if that don't beat all. Sorry, ma'am, didn't watch where I was walking. At this rate, I'll need another cool, refreshing glass of that all natural Flim Flam Brothers elixir."

He was kind, and he was sympathetic toward her plight. He walked her home, and before he left, asked if she might consider a date the following evening.

She met him at the restaurant near the library, and they enjoyed a daisy sandwich. Curiously, his hair was styled differently than the day before.

That night, he massaged her sore back and rump. She was grateful. They kissed. And then, they went further.

He made her feel whole.

Afterward, her head was swimming. Again, he came to her rescue. First, he helped with her pain pills. Then, he carefully re-wound the bandage, which had come loose since she'd left the hospital.

"Where'd you learn how to bandage ponies, Silver?" she asked him, more comfortable than she'd been all week.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Can you keep a secret?"

He bandaged himself differently each night, he said, to get the crowd excited about the elixir. He had become an expert at bandages because sometimes ponies would get too excited and pull their bandages free. He also had to maintain the pretense of injury, and a badly wound bandage would reveal the lack of a wound.

"One time, I even bound up my whole leg like it had gotten cut off."

She raised her eyebrows. "That's quite a trick." She yawned. "You would've sold a lot more if you'd found a unicorn who could take a leg off temporarily."

A month after the whole Flim Flam Elixir Scam had blown over, her doctor said she was healed. She'd maintained her health and healed quickly because of the excess stock Silver had left with her, though now she was under no illusions as to its medicinal properties.

She walked out of the hospital on all fours, painless and unbandaged, free of the chair that had been her rear legs for so long.

And nopony gave her a second glance.

The friends who had wished her well when she'd been convalescing? Nodded and wished her a nice day. The shop owners who'd been extra nice while she was shopping from her rump-cart? Back to haggling. The foals who'd given her a wide berth while she'd been temporarily crippled? Bumping and laughing a little too close for comfort.

Her life was quite suddenly back to normal.

And she hated it.

That night, she dreamed she was back in her little cart, pulling herself along with just her forehooves. It felt like home. It felt right. And it felt so real that, when she woke at 3 am, she reached for it so she could roll to the restroom. It wasn't there, of course, and for a moment, she panicked.

And then Jinx Jive remembered lying there in that bed, body broken and soul mended by the kind ministrations of a gifted liar.

It was time to rectify her unfortunate good health.

"This blade was enchanted by Furlong the Graciously Extended," said the shop owner. "It has the power to temporarily sever body parts. But be warned, young mare, if a piece of body is not reattached within twenty-four hours, the magic will stop, and the bleeding will begin."

It had taken research, her life's savings, and a trip to the seedier side of Canterlot, but now she had it in her soon-to-be-detached hooves. Soon, she would have the body she needed, and she would be adored again. Soon, she would be half the mare she was.

Jinx was breathing way too fast.

The only other sound in her duplex was the clock ticking. Blood rushed through her ears as she looked at the table.

There was the knife, glass blade glowing blue with a hint of purple. There was the sheath, bronze sheen reflecting the blade's glow. There were the bandages she'd bought, each package from a different store so that nopony would ask why she had so many. There was the medical tape, ready to hold everything together.

Was she ready for this? The store pony in Canterlot had demonstrated the blade's capabilities by removing his ear and pressing it back onto his head. He'd winced slightly at the cut, but he was unharmed.

Would this make her a bad pony? Silver had talked to her about the importance of honesty when his bosses had been found out.

Was she ashamed? Yes, that was it. She was ashamed that she felt she needed this. She was ashamed that she wanted to be a pony everypony would pity.

But seeing her shame in the naked light of day steeled her resolve. With shaking forehooves, she picked up the knife and sat up against her bed's backboard. She held it above her ankle.

Jinx Jive pushed downward.

The point touched her ankle. The point went into her ankle.

The point was in her ankle.

It wasn't like a cat scratching her, or a paper cut. It was a dull ache, and she could clearly feel the entirety of the tip of the knife. In addition, it just looked wrong. Like a trick of perspective, it was like the hide of her ankle was simply in front of the blade. And all of this took the space of a second.

Reflexively, she jerked the blade free, and dropped it to the bed. She curled up and rubbed her ankle. As promised, there was no blood. She couldn't even see where she'd pushed the blade into her hide.

Her panting breath became a hoarse laugh. She rolled onto her back and kicked all four of her legs into the air. "Ha ha! It works! It works!"

She practiced putting the double-sided blade into her legs, and pulling it out injury-free. It was the strangest thing she'd ever felt, and yet it was surprising fun.

A few minutes later, as she was tiring of the experiments, her tummy grumbled. She started toward the kitchen, and then stopped. What better way to celebrate her newfound freedom from normalcy than to make her disabled debut at dinner.

Her tidy little pony mind became quite businesslike as she plotted and planned the perfect progression. The ruse would be ruined were the length of her legs to recover.

She would start halfway between hoof and ankle. If she chickened out, she could say passersby simply saw it wrong. She climbed back onto her bed, two unopened packages of bandages in her mouth.

There lay the blade. Gingerly, she picked it up once more. She wiggled her left hind hoof as she stretched out the leg it was currently attached to. "Goodbye, my dear," she said, positioning herself just right.

She pushed down.

Like a hot knife through butter, the glowing glass blade slipped through her hair, skin, muscle, bone, and nerve.

Her jaw dropped. Her hoof, and part of her foot, lay on the bed near her leg. The ache disappeared when the knife had finished the cut, and now there was no sensation from her hoof.

She placed the blade gently to one side, and leaned closer. She bent her ankle, and felt the truncated tendons and muscles slide over each other. A shiver ran through her body.

She picked her hind hoof up off the bed. It was limp, warm, and floppy. She had half-expected that the magic might let her feel her loose limbs' sensations remotely, but that was clearly not the case.

She turned it around. She'd never seen the hoof from this angle before. She could see all the chips and cracks, the odd texture of her frog, and the match of hair color and hoof color. She turned the sliced end toward herself, and was surprised to see blood vessels expanding and contracting in rhythm with her rapidly beating heart.

This, then, was the magic that would make her whole.

Two feet missing, slightly different lengths. Two sets of bandages, wrapped carefully to show what was missing. Two wheels resting in front of a mushroom-shaped table. Two forehooves holding a peanut butter and daisy sandwich.

Two sets of eyes locked across an outdoor dining area. Two expressions, one of shock and one of feigned innocence.

Two bodies locked in passion that night.

And thus began the story of Jinx Jive, Equestrian Wannabe.