OMEGA TREE HUGGER: REVENGEANCE OF NATURE'S WRATH

by ColdGoldLazarus

Rating: teen
Tags: Fluttershy, Random, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy
Length: 1198

Tree Hugger becomes an evil alicorn and tries to take over Equestria. Obviously, shenanigans ensue.

Bolstered by the dark magic of Twilight's new castle, Tree Hugger becomes an evil alicorn, and after realizing she's not just having a bad trip, tries to take over Equestria. Obviously, shenanigans ensue.

(This is pure crack. Take seriously at your own risk.)
(Glorious title provided by HiveLordLusa)

Published 2015-06-21 18:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-21 18:20:02 UTC

THE EYE OF OMEGA

It all began when a number of weather-ponies at canterlot got drunk, and decided to move their scheduled Dramatic Thunderstorm(tm) to Ponyville. As Ponyville also had a Dramatic Thunderstorm(Copyrighted) scheduled, this meant there was twice the storm going down. The accumulated magical energy built up and up and up...

But nothing bad would have occurred even then were it not for Twilight also taking that time to do some mad science. After all, everypony knew that mad science was thrice as effective if done during a Dramatic Thunderstorm(Insert Legal Terminology Here). She reared back, laughing madly as several unnessecary Tezla Coils hooked up to unidentifiable clockwork mechanisms sparked to life.

BUT EVEN THEN nothing would have happened were it not for the final piece of the puzzle - unbeknowst to everyone ever, (even Discord and the Doctor) the crystal castle created by the Tree Of Harmony was part of an ancient alien plot to overthrow Equestria by mutated versions of the Life Fibers. They had constructed the castle out of their wormlike, sequin-covered bodies, and inadvertantly recreated the EYE OF OMEGA when building the star-shaped formation atop the castle to trick Twilight into believing she had any sort of real authority in this place.

THE EYE OF OMEGA was created a long time ago in a galaxy far far away when Omega Tahu forged it in the fiery heart of Mt. Doom to try to fulfill 99.999% of the Bionicle Fandom's wishes to combine the G1 and G2 storylines. Unfortunately he never got to use it for that purpose, instead needing its power to defeat Skull Grinder, the most orgasmically amazingly well-written villain ever. THE EYE OF OMEGA was destroyed in the battle, but its blueprints were scattered through space and time until a fraction of it appeared on the butt of a small horse who had just passed her entrance exam.

So now, in the present, it all came together - the double layered Dramatic Thunderstorm's magical lightning energies were attracted to those of the tesla coils Twilight had set up. The two met in the center, hitting THE EYE OF OMEGA with a resounding crash. The artifact hummed and glowed, before a beam lanced forth, landing somewhere in Ponyville.

"Well, that was weird," Twilight said in an OOC and needless manner, "I'm sure this won't come back to bite me in the butt later." She trotted off and into temporary irrelevancy.

The next morning, Tree Hugger awoke, feeling light-headed. "Woah," she said as she wavered on her hooves. Or maybe the room was wavering. "That hippie weed last night must have been danker than I thought." It was a good thing she'd left her window open, knowing there was no possible way some beam of magic energy could come in and strike her in her sleep.

Tree Hugger trotted downstairs and opened the icebox, where several of her patented weed brownies awaited in neat stacks. Her new friend Fluttershy had gently but assertively turned down her offers so far, but Hugger knew it was only a matter of time. The moment the yellow pegasus had admitted her wishes of becoming a tree, Tree Hugger felt that the stars had aligned - she had found her future mate. And her horoscope saying as such on the morning they had met didn't hurt, either. But back to the matter at hand.

"Woah," She said as a few brownies levitated of their own accord onto a plate, which floated into the microwave, "This is one heck of a trip..."

It wasn't until the brownies were heated up and halfway devoured (along with the plate, which her teeth crunched through as though it were merely an unusually hard cracker) that Hugger realized she hadn't actually smoked any weed the previous night.

"Hhhhhhuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh..." She pondered thoughtfully. "So, like, if this isn't a trip..." Realization dawned, then immediately set again as the weed brownies kicked in. Tree Hugger stared at the wall blankly before her brain resumed, as though nothing had happened. "Then how are these levitating?"

She found a mirror, and realized she was twice as tall as before, and she now had a horn and an enormous pair of wings. "Wicked." She grinned, and a flash of lime green lit in her eyes. (Because clearly Lime Green is the color of evil.) "I can totally dig this vibe... and now Equestria will, too." Throwing her head back, she laughed in a manner not unsimilar to Twilight's the night before, but in a much more stoned-sounding way.

The day was shining, the sun was bright, and the clouds from last night had disappeared due to the author forgetting, though they would later claim they hadn't and explain it as Rainbow Dash getting up early. Even as Tree Hugger was making her radical discovery, the mane 6 (because clearly that is what they are referred to as in-universe) met to have a picnic with Derpy.

"Man, I love that we get to talk to you again!" said Rarity. "It's just like, we missed you so much while you were replaced by that mute cousin of yours, dude!"

Derpy just giggled and ate a muffin. A bubble drifted out of one ear.

"Arr, yer cousin was a mighty fine crewmember, but ye are irreplacable!" Applejack proclaimed, her totally definitely southern accent tainting her voice in apple flavorings.

"Meep," added Fluttershy, her moe-ness showing through in every action she took. Even punching that squirrel that tried to take her breadcrumbs.

As they continued to talk and laugh and do other stuff, the sky suddenly went dark. A bright figure rose over ponyville, wind swirling as they glowed with the power of a thousand suns. "Hey, can anyone hear me?" a voice boomed throughout the town, followed by a loud, unearthly shriek. "Whoops." Tree Hugger readjusted the stolen megaphone before continuing. "I, just like, wanted to let you all know that I, am, like, your new queen now. I'd tell you to bow down to me and stuff, but I'm not really that big on authority, so you can just show your appreciation however you want."

The alicorn spaced out for several moments, wings flapping on GPS autopilot as she stared into space. All of Ponyville; the earth ponies, the pegasi, the unicorns, and the houses, all watched and waited with bated breath. Moments passed, and then a full minute. Some of the younger foals began to get restless. Just as the CMC were about to get back to their crusading, though, Tree Hugger spoke back up.

"Anyway, there's just, like, one other thing." Her horn lit up, and the ground began to shake. Ponies leapt aside as holes began opening up in the ground, and from them emerged several stunted and twisted trees, like the ones in the Everfree Forest. "Don't forget to hug your local tree. I hope you like these radical changes." Her voice suddenly shifted, becoming deeper and more menacing. "Because you don't have a choice." And with that, she flew off, like a shooting star towards Canterlot. The sky remained dark, berefit of sun, moon, and stars.

Author's Note

Author's Notes