Outpost Everfree

by Melancholy

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Main 6, Princess Luna
Length: 11259

Guard from the Everfree and remain hidden from Ponyville, Cloud Storm's squad have a long road to go

Cloud Storm has finally gotten the promotion he's never wanted.
Plucked from his quiet life as a door pony and thrust into the leadership of a motley crew he must monitor the perimeter of the Everfree forest and protect the citizens of Equestria from what lurks within.
That's not his only problem though, Cloud also has to protect the small town of Ponyville from his own troop of of boisterous guards!
And just to round off his bad day, somepony has taken it upon themselves to take an unscheduled holiday to the country leaving his boss in a bad mood.

“This is going to be a long six months...”

The story inspired by the short story Rock, Paper, Scissors and following on from Pung!

Tie in to Collars and Cuffs Tailoring

Published 2012-05-21 17:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-13 18:09:38 UTC

Chapter 1

This was bad.
Like, end of the world bad. Or at least the end of their world. The four ponies stood around the head of the bed, sweat already beginning to shine on each of them, struck dumb at the evidence before them.

My dear little ponies,
I have decided to take a holiday. No need to come looking, I’m sure my sister can handle everything in my absence.
Yours faithfully,
Celestia,
Princess of Equestria.

The guards had come in that morning after the princess had been late to breakfast. It was unusual for her to miss the meals she shared with her sister. After a fruitless five minutes of knocking at the door they had finally decided to simply come in and check on her. They had been confronted by the little note on the pillow, and a distinct lack of a princess.
"So....” One of the spoke up eventually. “What do we do?”
The other three looked at him, the uncertainty obvious among the whole group.
“I guess,” the only mare in the group started, “That somepony should tell Princess Luna.”
The others nodded their agreement.
“And probably Captain Shining Armour,” This elicited more bobbing heads. Besides that though, no pony moved.
“Sooo....” They all twitched. “Anypony want to tell the Princess?” This caused another round of statues. Somepony sighed.

Two rounds of rock, paper, scissors later and two ‘volunteers’ had been chosen to deliver the news, each certain they were heading to their doom.

“This envelope contains your written orders. Do you need anything clarified Commander Cloud Storm?”
The recently promoted Night Watch stallion before her winced slightly at the mention of his new rank. Commander, great, just great. Now he had responsibility for his own guard post, twenty assorted guards ponies and a rather large area. To top it off one the key lines in the envelope he took from his princess indicated he had to do it all ’In secret, without drawing the attention of the local population. Keep twenty boisterous guards ponies a secret? Bucking great.
“No your majesty, it’s all...clear,” He replied after placing the orders into his saddlebag carefully.
The princess of the moon smiled down at him from behind her desk, she had no clue she’d just signed him away to purgatory for the next six months.
“I know this isn’t exactly what you were expecting, and truth be told I’ll miss seeing you when I go to bed and awaken in the evenings.”
Cloud blushed a little at what she had accidentally suggested. He used to stand guard outside her chamber doors, nothing more, despite what others may have suggested, or he privately wished.
“Still, I cannot think of anypony more qualified for this task. Especially with all your recent work with Guard and Watch collaboration.”
Yea, that was another thing. This was a joint operation. Cloud was going to have to handle a mixed force of Solar Guard and Night Watch ponies. He almost groaned out loud, they were not known for mixing well, and he had to keep them working together as well as under wraps.
“Simply put,” the night princess continued, “I wasn’t surprised when you were recommended for the post by Shining Armour. Two recommendations from him in almost as many months, you must have impressed him.”
Impressed? More like stuck in an eternal honey infused doughnut grudge match.
“Ah that reminds me,” The princess turned and pulled a small amulet out from a draw in her desk and hoofed it to him. “This is a scroll necklace, it can both send and receive messages through dragons fire between itself and me. I’ll be expecting regular reports from you through it.”
“Thank you princess, I won’t let you down.” Cloud tried to be stoic about it all. So he would miss out on doughnut night at the castle, and Mah Jong down at the parlour, and water polo in the pool, and volleyball on the drill grounds, and the bimonthly ninja night down in the city, he’d be fine out in the sticks on assignment.
Ah who was he kidding? This whole thing sucked.

Luna’s face took on a look of concern, her Commander’s face was scrunched up with effort and looked to be on the verge of yelling something drastic.
“Are you all right there Commander?” Her soft voice was tinged with worry for her little pony. He seemed rather overwhelmed by it all. The moon princess couldn’t say she was surprised, the rise to prominence had been rather sudden for him and a lot of changes would need to be in order for the watch pony.
“I...I’m all right princess,” he managed with a small sigh. The dark alicorn gave him a small smile. She put it down to all the excitement of the last few days. Arranging the shifts between the Day Guard and Night Watch over the period of the garden party and its preparations followed by a promotion and sudden reassignment would wear out the best of ponies.
“I understand your train leaves in an hour, is there anything else?”
Cloud Storm snapped to attention and gave his princess a snappy salute.
“No ma’am. I will now commence my assignment.”
Luna widened her smile, “Then go with my blessing Commander Cloud Storm.”

Luna watched him go, his back slumped slightly and shuffling his hooves across the carpet. He closed her office door with a half hearted flick of his tail and she went back to her desk. With a sigh of her own the night princess turned back to the small mound of paperwork she needed to finish before dawn. It was a tiny compared to the one her sister dealt with day after day, but she was proud of the contribution she made to the running of the pony nation.
Using a light magical touch the dark alicorn had just picked up her quill when a massive solar stallion came bursting through her door with a crash, his face a mask of shock and consternation.
“Princess Luna! Your sister is missing!”

Canterlot station was a hive of activity. Families coming and going, packages and cargo loaded and unloaded, the noise was high and constant press of pony flesh nearly oppressive.
For the casual observer it was a perfectly normal day in the central station of the nation’s capital.
For the omnipotent observer, they would note three distinct groups moving through the teeming masses.

The first wasn’t a group so to speak, but an interesting individual. A lone earth pony had just purchased a one way ticket to Ponyville, the first stop on the long haul train to Canterbury. She was young, yellow furred and orange maned. Her flank bore an image of a large, dense cloud with a golden aura hinting at the hidden sun behind. Cloudy Sky, the name she had given to the ticket master, was travelling light with only enough that would fit into two moderately sized saddle bags, a large bag of bits, some writing materials and some good books nestled around a small lunch and large pair of high powered binoculars. She was in high spirits, it had been a long time since she’d decided to just get away from it all and Cloudy was looking forward to it. She chuckled to herself thinking of all the things she planned to get up to, the first being a little bit of nature watching......

Nature, which came in seven different flavours, was taking a walk to the front of the train.
“Don’t you think it’s odd that Princess Celestia didn’t come to see us off this morning?” Fluttershy asked cautiously, breaking the comfortable silence they had shared since leaving the castle. In front of her Twilight Sparkle gave a soft snort.
“Not too unusual. She is a Sun goddess and one of the only two rulers of Equestria after all.” Despite her words, her tone carried a little note of disappointment light enough that it would have gone unnoticed by anyone but the group of friends. The two Pegasi to Fluttershy’s left simply nodded in agreement.
“Princess Luna came to see us didn’t she?” Rainbow Dash added, “Isn’t one princess enough?”
The stallion next to her coloured a little at the memory of their send off that morning. There had been much hugging and a little kissing involved and the memory clearly had him a little uncomfortable.
“I’m sure she was just busy,” he added quickly in an attempt to bring back his train of thought, “It’s like Twilight said, she is a princess and all.”
Seeing his obvious discomfort made the rainbow flyer next to him burst into laughter. “Really bro, you’re still embarrassed about all that? You seemed pretty ok about it at the party last night,” she winked suggestively.
“Shuddup Rainbow,” he hissed, elbowing her in the side, “Last night things weren't exactly....normal.”
This shut her up and the group took on a slightly sombre mood. The Canterlot Garden Party the night before had certainly been a unique event. With the princess of the night as the principal organiser there had been quite the change from the usual sedate high class events. A rock band, poker games and a barbecue of different kinds of mushroom burgers had been simply the most obvious changes. What nopony had planned for is for Cuff Links, a small independent Ponyville tailor to reveal to all the Canterlot elite that he was actually the estranged older brother of the most recent winner of the best young flyer award and three times saviour of Equestira. To say emotions had been running high that night would be an understatement.
“Still,” Twilight started at length, “I’m sure we’ll all hear from Princess Celestia and Princess Luna again soon.”

All the way at the back of the train a knot of pony life was busy hauling large crates into a reserved cargo carriage. A massive earth pony stallion was standing next to the door and saluting the pegasus next to him.
“How many times do I have to tell you Panzer Hoof, put that monstrous brick breaker of yours down while we’re in public, this mission is incognito,” Cloud Storm, commanding officer of the disciplined rabble scolded him quietly, “If we’re not in uniform I don’t want to see that kind of behaviour here. You get me?”
The brick out house of a pony nodded and dropped his hoof to the ground with practiced care.
“Sorry sir. Reporting in, almost all of our assigned equipment is on board, all that’s left is the squad’s personal effects. I would estimate that we’ll be loaded with ten minutes to spare before the scheduled departure time.”
Cloud nodded appreciatively. He’d been given a pretty good team of ponies to work with, a nice mix of swift pegasi, strong earth ponies and capable and diverse unicorns. Princess Luna obviously treated his mission with a great deal of importance. Well, at least more than he himself did. To Cloud the whole thing stank of an excuse for the Captain of the Guard Shining Armour to get him out of Canterlot. He lifted a hoof and looked at it, concentrating on every muscle he had and every ounce of capability in him. After a good ten seconds of glowering at his unchanging hoof he dropped it forlornly. It was, and would always remain just a rock.
“Make sure everypony is prepared to get all this off once we reach Ponyville, we won’t have as long to get it all shifted.”
Panzer nodded, “I know, Shelly was just telling me she’s gotten the confirmation on our moving carriages at the other end. All we need to do is get it off the train and onto the carriages as quickly as possible.”
While they were talking two unicorns passed by the pair carrying a large unwieldy desk in their combined telekinesis.
“Careful you two,” The commander warned, “Add one single scratch to my personally made one of a kind rosewood inscribed by Princess Luna herself desk and I’ll have you cleaning latrines for the rest of your existence.”
The two unicorns looked at him a little worriedly before carrying out their assigned task with deliberate and exaggerated care.
“What?” Cloud asked, responding to the arched eyebrows of the earth stallion next to him, “If I’m going to get promoted I may as well take a few perks.”
“You would do wouldn’t you?”
The new voice, crisp and feminine came from behind the two stallions and cause them both to wince a little.
“Why yes, yes I would.” Cloud Storm snapped, turning to face his Solar Guard counterpart for the mission.

Shelly Stone was an odd unicorn. For one she was a prim and proper pony with long slim pale blue legs and well kept light green mane, yet despite all that was a hard bitten high ranking member of the Solar Guard and only one notch under Cloud Storm. Secondly she had volunteered for this mission to a remote outpost on the edge of the Everfree forest of all places. Anypony willing to do that must be proper loko.
She tutted at him, “Still, you didn’t have to take the thing with you. It’s just adding to our logistics problems.”
Cloud decided to ignore her tone and turned back to overseeing the loading of their effects. “If I’m going to be stuck out there for six months I’m going to bloody bring it with me so I can enjoy it aren't I? You honestly going to tell me you only brought the bare essentials yourself Lieutenant?”
He didn’t look, but the pegasus could feel the heat of her glare on his back. Right at that moment a rack of packaged clothes, dresses mostly, was wheeled past and the feeling abruptly dissipated.
“I may....I may have brought a couple of things....” She stuttered, shuffling a little to see if the rack was being placed safely. “But nothing as heavy and unwieldy as that monstrosity.”
Cloud laughed at that, a short bark which turned into a rolling chuckle. “You’re the one who turned up at the Garden Party last night in a canary yellow frufru dress. You’ve got no legs to stand on calling anything else a monstrosity.”
That just got a huff from the unicorn behind him but she said no more, turning on her flank and moving to check their seat reservations.
Cloud sighed, turning a little to watch her go.
“This is going to be a long six months...”

Chapter 2

The train from Canterlot was a good six hour journey and the group destined for Outpost Everfree intended to make full use of the time. For the majority of the out of uniform guards ponies this meant lounging around the reserved carriage and going to sleep. A small group had taken a table and were playing a game of poker. Commander Cloud Storm had made his views on betting money very clear at the briefing that morning, something to do with undermining integrity and trust if things went south. Instead they did what was traditional amongst the Equestrian guard, they bet dares, chores and other little favours instead. All in all it kept them happy and the mission brass and their higher ups didn’t mind. In fact Cloud himself had played a hand earlier and won a whole month of desk polishing from Buck Boots, which had been a pleasant start to the journey for the command Pegasus.

Now the three ponies in charge of the expedition had sequestered themselves in a corner to more thoroughly discuss their sudden assignment. Cloud Storm was a Night Watch pony, traditionally out at night or performing sensitive assignments such as high value package delivery. On this assignment he was the overall commanding officer in charge of overseeing both wings of Night Watch and Solar Guard.

Sat to the left of the pegasus was Panzer Hoof, a Lieutenant in the Night Watch and directly overseeing the Night Watch contingent. He was a massive earth pony well known for being to shatter walls and shrug off blows which would crack boulders. He was also known for being surprisingly gentle and pretty good with a slingshot.

Perched opposite was Shelly Stone, Lieutenant in the Solar Guard and the unicorn charged with direct oversight of the day contingent of their task group. She was rightly feared for her unchallenged mastery of water based magic, her signature combat spell being a watery serpent. Her duties in the Solar Guard were pretty standard for the order. Protecting places and ponies of interest, policing during the daytime and playing enforcer at events.

The three were pouring over a small stack of files full of information about their mission, dossiers on particular ponies to places of interest.
“First thing I want to make clear to the two of you,” Cloud started, looking up to encompass both in his gaze, “While officially you both have distinct roles I expect you each to watch out for the other and for every pony on this mission, regardless of which order their from. There’s too few of us at the top and too many of them for us to get involved in jurisdictional issues on an assignment like this. Everypony should feel comfortable coming to any one of us, regardless of which Princess came first in their oath, especially those in the Solars.”
The two officers nodded,
“Got ya boss.” Panzer confirmed, “We don’t want the Watch getting a superiority complex because one of them is in charge, and neither do we want to Guard to feel uncomfortable for the same reason.”
“That makes good sense,” Shelly agreed, taking a look at the carriage of lazing ponies, “It also wouldn’t do to have any of them flaunting the authority of a superior because they’re from a different order too. That way would lead to total chaos and confusion in time.”
The group all winced at the thought, reminded of the last occasion the two orders had tried to work together shortly after the recreation of the Night Watch following the return of Princess Luna. To say it hadn’t gone well would be an understatement. Sections of the Canterlot Training ground were still being rebuilt over a year later.

“Good,” Cloud continued, “Now we’ve got that out the way, I want to say that I also want to hear your opinions on everything. The buck stops with me, and my word is final when it needs to be, but at the same time I want your input like we’re equals. I won’t be able to run this ship on my own for six months.”
This elicited small smiles from the other two, this hadn’t been the first time they’d worked together, although it was the first one of them had been in command of the others. They were fairly comfortable working together and knew each other fairly well. This had been an advantage on many occasion, like when Cloud and Shining had needed extra Mahjong players, or that one time Panzer had broken another pony's nose (and most of the rest of his face) for trying to get Shelly drunk.

Shelly pulled a pair of files to the top of the pile and flipped them open. The first detailed what was to become their accommodation and base of operations for the next six months. It was a thatched long house on the edge of the Everfree and the file stated it was in a fairly run down condition. Two floors consisting of a single undivided room each and a basement reached through an internal trap door.

“This is the place,” Shelly indicated the photo of the building, “Did Princess Luna have any instructions on how we need to use it?” Cloud shook his head.
“No, she left all details on how we used our resources up to us. She also left the details of our cover to us too, which is just grand. How are we going to explain the sudden arrival of twenty assorted ponies?”
“I thought of that, if I may?” The unicorn started. Cloud indicated for her to go on, “I thought we could set ourselves up as a logging community. There is permission for a limited amount of logging in the Everfree and we could get the Princess to send us a permit to keep up the illusion.”
Panzer nodded sagely, “That’s not a bad idea. Loggers use all kinds of ponies, and it’s not unusual for a group to set up a short term mission, bunk together and keep to themselves. It also gives us a brilliant reason to go in and out of the Everfree on a regular basis.”
“That’s what I thought,” the unicorn continued, “With that in mind I think we can turn the top floor into a barracks area, segregated into mares, stallions and officers,” She glanced over the table but Cloud gave no indication of disapproval at the idea. “We then keep the ground floor as a social and working area, and convert the basement for our operational needs.”
“Makes the most sense. Can I trust you to sort that out when we arrive?” Cloud asked her. The blue unicorn agreed and produced the second folder, this one detailing a startlingly pink mare which Cloud had met before. He shuddered at the memory, how could such a novice become a master of Mahjong so quickly?

“The other issue I wanted to raise was this,” She pointed at the photo, “Pinkamina 'Pinkie' Pie, a baker at the local confectioners in Ponyville. She’s well known for wanting to hold parties for new ponies in town. Over twenty new ponies may just send her apoplectic if the report is to be believed. An event like that might make it hard for us to maintain our cover.”
Cloud put a hoof to his chin and considered. Pinkie Pie was famous in the right circles for many reasons. One of the elements of harmony, an accomplished baker and party planner, instant Mahjong master and the total screwball who collapsed half of the great ballroom during the last Grand Galloping Gala and possessor of a 'sixth' sense which she could use to determine the future. If anypony was going to cause them problems with maintaining cover it would be her.

Panzer put one of his giant hooves in the air expectantly. Cloud turned and gave him a nod to continue.
“If I may make a suggestion sir, why not tackle her head on?” The other two looked at him as if he’d just vomited a parasprite. “Hear me out. If she’s prone to throwing a party anyway, why not ask her to hold one for us? That way we can arrange it so it’s on our own terms and that the whole squad is ready for it.”
Shelly and Cloud considered this for a moment, the idea growing on them the more they thought about it.
“We could set the date,” Shelly added cautiously, “So that we aren't surprised and have some time to settle in.”
Cloud was warming to the idea, “And we can set the limit on how long it goes on for and what will be there. No alcohol at a party like that. We don’t need any loose lips this early on.”

As the three of them started planning their own welcoming party, further up the train in the first class carriages Pinkie’s hooves began to make spontaneous rhythmic clops on the table in front of her, drawing stares from her friends around her.
“My Pinkie sense is telling me somepony is planning a party!” She exclaimed happily, “I hope I’m invited!

Chapter 3

The train was taking an extended stop at Ponyville station to allow for the large amount of luggage to be removed. A whole group of ponies plus a load of hired movers were bustling around the end of the station, one was having a loud discussion about how best to move a desk.

Cloudy Sky however was watching the other group of ponies at the other end of the train. Six mares (plus a colt) on their way home.
Ducking behind a large potted plant, Cloudy willed her binoculars from her saddle bags and turned to peer at the group of ponies. It was at this stage that she remembered she wasn’t a unicorn and stuck her head in instead, holding them up with forehooves instead of magic she was only just remembering she didn’t have.

So... Twilight Sparkle. Ever since moving to Ponyville the little purple mare had grown up so much and was barely recognisable as the secluded bookworm who hid in a tower with books all day. Still, while growing and developing was fantastic and all, the prospect of the lavender unicorn growing away from those she had left behind in Canterlot was worrying. Even worse, the yellow earth pony had realised the other week that the prospect of Twilight having a colt friend was practically abhorrent. All of these realisations had crystallised at the party the night before and had lead to the snap decision to come down to ponyville to keep an eye on her. Getting away from her sister and the repercussions of the bet she’d lost was a pleasant side effect.

Sky shook off the memory of her sister’s smarmy grin and turned her attention back to the librarian, who was walking back into town with her four close friends plus Rainbow Dash's brother, reminding her of why she was there. These feelings weren't new exactly, but she hadn’t expected to have to confront them for another few years at least. Twilight Sparkle had only been out of Canterlot for two years and yet in that time had managed to make a large number of diverse friends and grow out of her shell into a magnificent young mare. Simply walking from the station the purple unicorn was greeted by no less than nine other ponies, four of them stallions. Remembering this time that she hadn’t the use of any magic the yellow earth pony had to crane her head around to take out her notebook, and propping the binoculars in her hooves and the quill in her mouth took poorly scrawled notes on each stallion and their interactions with the royal student. At the same time she decided to note never to go without magic again.
Something in the back of her mind though was niggling away, something wasn’t right with the scene in front of her. There was Twilight, with her five friends.....
Five? One stallion, Twilight and one, two, three, four mares..... Wasn’t Pinkie Pie with them a moment ago?

“Hi there!”

Canterlot Castle, marble crown of the city of Canterlot, capital of the Pony nation of Equestria, seat of government, official home of the Equestrian Crown and the gods of the planet of Epona, was in utter chaos.

Ponies from every branch of the royal guard were being organised for a nation-wide search, government officials rushed from place to place enacting emergency planning for a transfer of governmental authority and servants ducked and weaved around them all in an attempt to keep every pony fed, watered and comfortable.

In the centre of the metaphorical maelstrom was a very real whirlwind of paperwork as the Princess of the moon sped parchment around her, speed reading, signing, amending and approving more documentation than would normally be processed in a month by both royal sisters combined in the space of a few hours.
There were many reasons for this massive expenditure of energy. One was simply because Luna wanted to push the limits of what she was capable of, and the activity of reading through four monolithic documents produced by the bureaucratic engine of government at once, understanding and amending them in a couple of minutes before moving on to four more was certainly a taxing challenge which she could relish in.
Another reason was that with Celestia unaccounted for and unreachable the full responsibility of running the nation fell upon the younger of the two Alicorn sisters, and Luna intended to make all the niggling little changes to the statute books she could while she didn’t have to explain them to the solar diarch. It wasn’t as if the moon princess was doing anything damaging, unpleasant or seditious, she loved her little ponies very much and only wanted the best for them, but she hated having to justify what she felt were obvious improvements to her sometimes slow to catch on sister. One time it took just over a week to convince Celestia of the dental benefits of introducing Fluoride to the drinking water system, and even then she had only succeeded when she presented an endorsement from Twilight Sparkle.
The last reason for all this furious activity was that if the lunar diarch wanted any free time while shouldering the full weight of the nation then she was going to have to blaze through as much work as she could in as short a time as possible, otherwise she would simply end up buried in the never ending stream of red taped parchment.

In the middle of it all, the dark blue Alicorn softly seethed. Whenever her mind a slight bit of spare processing power she directed it towards her quiet anger at her sister.
“When I see you again, sister dearest, I am going to thrash you so hard that you’ll be feeling it for the next thousand years....”

Over in his office Shining Armour, Captain of the Day Guard, was also having a rather bad day.
One of his biggest responsibilities as head of Celestia’s Day Guard was the protection of the royal pony sisters, and it was inevitably this duty which lead to his greatest headaches. The two sisters could be as irresponsible as rambunctious as fillies at times but rarely had either of them disappeared spontaneously for more than a few hours. Ironically, he mused, it was always Luna which he had expected to pull a stunt like this first, not the usually more level headed older Alicorn.

Right now Shining Armour was considering how to phrase the letter in front of him. Twilight needed to know Celestia had decided to run off and now couldn’t be found, both because of her close personal connection to the princess, but also because as her protege and star student Twilight actually had responsibilities she may need to take up if Celestia wasn’t found. To be fair, it would be a long time before Twilight would need to be called upon, only if the Solar sister decided to be away for more than a month or so, but as one of the closest to the monarch Twilight Sparkle was also one of the best prepared to take up a role as senior advisor to Princess Luna should the need to rearrange the government on a long term basis arose.

Dear Twilight,
It is with regret that I must inform you that this morning Auntie Celestia decided to depart Canterlot for places unknown without warning.
Worry not little sister, while she told nopony of her decision to take this trip, a note was found which has been positively identified as being left by by her stating that she left willingly to take a holiday and we are not concerned for her safety, although all the guards in Equestria are on the lookout for her.
As you are aware however, there are protocols which need to be followed in the event of one of the royal sisters being unable to attend to their duties. While Auntie Luna attests that she currently has everything in hoof, should Auntie Celestia not return to us within the month then it is likely that you will be called upon to act as royal advisor, something which I know you are well prepared for and capable for.
I pray that Auntie Celestia returns to us long before then.
With much love from your brother,
Shining Armour.

Twilight let the scroll drop silently from her magical hold and sank down onto the bed, head in her hooves.
“Oh Princess......what are you up to now?”

Chapter 4

“Shelly?”
“Y-yes Commander?”
“Just how old are those photos in the file exactly?”
“Around......two...years....two years old sir.”
“I thought it might be something like that.”
Cloud Storm sighed. It was a long, deep, suffering sigh.
The merry band of guards ponies had been assigned a wooden long-house on the edge of the Everfree forest for their base of operations on the assignment to patrol the area. On the train in, the file on the property had detailed a place a little run down, in need of a deep clean and a few new floorboards.

The place in front of them now was in need of a deep purging and few new walls. It was gutted and useless, weeds growing out of rotten wooden supports, birds nesting in what rafters remained and what ones didn’t collapsed taking whole sections of the roof with it. If the Night Watch Commander had to guess as to much work was needed to make it inhabitable, he would think it better to burn the place down and start again.
“Right, you four,” He waved a hoof at the four unicorns (the minimum number he would allow) carrying his personally made one of a kind rosewood inscribed by Princess Luna herself desk.
“Place it down here, carefully,” he barked, the threat of what would happen if they were not careful unspoken but implicitly understood by all. As they moved to comply the stallion turned to another group carrying other parts of their assorted equipment.
“I’ll need something to sit on, a cushion will do for now, and something to write with.”
In short order the Commander was sitting in the field at his desk, quill to his lips scrawling a letter to his boss while the rest of his detachment set about to stacking the rest of their possessions in neat stacks.
We’ve not been here three hours and already I need to ask the Princess for help. Well isn't this going swimmingly?

How had it all gone so wrong, so quickly?
Cloudy Sky was sat in the middle of the top floor of a bakery, a bakery impersonating gingerbread. With her was a Pink pony which had been sitting across from her, starring. They had been like this for what seemed like hours, ever since the yellow earth pony had been dragged into the confectioners against her will. It had been an odd encounter, shortly after being bamboozled by the Pink mare at the station, Cloudy Sky had been unceremoniously grabbed by the tail and dragged all the way back to Sugar Cube Corner. However, instead of the expected explosion of hyperactive fun making the little Pink pony had instead taken up an expression of supreme concentration and turned what could only be described as a contemplative, almost piercing gaze upon the yellow mare.

Eventually, Sky decided to break the rather uncomfortable silence which had formed between them, “Um.....Miss Pie was it?”
The Pink pony grinned. It was massive, toothy grin, the kind a shark might give before consuming its prey.
“Hehehe, you don’t have to be like that with me. I won’t tell any pony. Pinkie promise.”
Sky began to sweat, that stare was unnerving at the best of times but now it was like she was being looked through by those big, bottomless blue eyes. The Pink pony moved her hooves in series of complex gestures before settling back down, her grin now even bigger, although it was hard to imagine that being possible.
“Err, tell anypony what exactly?”
“Technically I can’t say...” the Pink one replied almost sadly, “...Since I just promised not to tell anypony, and you’re a pony. A special pony, but still a pony.”
Sky was sweating buckets now. Just what was it about that Pink pony that meant she just knew everything?
“Right.....then....” The yellow pony was lost, totally lost, for what to say. Years of experience dealing with all kinds of ponies, and many non-ponies, was rendered utterly useless against this Pink creature. Countless encounters with things which would happily flay your immortal soul from your body had not equipped her to withstand the pressure exuded by the Pink thing.
The shaken earth pony stood on shaky legs and began to back away towards the door, desperate for an escape, “...Can I...go now, or are you going to throw a party or something?”
“No, no party. I only throw parties for new ponies, and you’re hardly new around here these days. Besides,” Pinkie began to giggle a little, “I have a whole train load of new ponies to welcome, I’ll be busy for a while.”
Sky had managed to reach the door, very unnerved by now by the weird calm on the normally very hyper pony before her. “I’ll just leave you to that then?”
“Sure, It’s been nice talking to you again. I’ll see you later.”
With a cry of relief the tense yellow mare leapt for the door handle and out into the hall before another word could be said.

The reply to the aid request was quick to arrive. Sent by the dragon fire necklace provided by the Princess and returned in the same manner Commander Cloud Storm was now in possession of a large sack of bits, a requisition order and directions to the nearest farm.
Sweet Apple Acres, Princess Luna had decided, would have to accommodate the twenty three guards ponies, as well as provide all assistance to them until the long-house became suitable for pony habitation again.

As he began the long trot up to the farmhouse with Panzer Hoof in tow, Cloud was glad for the large pouch of bits. While the requisition order tucked into his saddlebags meant that there really could be no argument over the matter it would raise many questions which would be too difficult to answer while maintaining their cover of simple lumberponies. That, and having ponies willingly on side was much easier to work with.
Once at the door the dark stallion give his hair a quick muss with a hoof.
“How do I look?” He asked, turning to his right hoof pony, “Suitably Lumberpony-ish?”
Panzer snickered, “You look good enough,” he replied, “You’ll pass. Besides, as the pony in charge you’d hardly be expected to be actually out there.”
“Right,” the smaller stallion agreed, before knocking twice on the door.

The pony which greeted them when the door opened was not the kind Cloud had been expecting. Panzer neither if his slack jawed expression gave any indication. The toned orange mare before them gave them both an appraising look before speaking in a strong southern drawl.
“Why hay there pardners. What can I do you to for?”

Once out of his momentary stupor, Cloud managed a little bow to the mare before replying, “Hello there miss, we’re looking for the manager of this here farm, we’re looking to strike some business to help us in a moment a crisis.”
She looked them up and down again before speaking, “Well that would be me. Name’s Applejack, what can I do you for?”
If it was possible, Panzer Hoof’s jaw would have unhinged and crawled along the floor.
Only marginally less phased, Cloud tried to put on his best face, “Ah, well then Miss Applejack, my name is Cloud Storm and I’ve just arrived at the head of the new lumbering expedition here to extract the latest quota from the Everfree forest. We’ve hit a rather unfortunate snag though, see our accommodation just over that hill there is rather run down and we will need somewhere to stay and some help until it’s fixed up again.” He reached back into his saddlebags and drew out the heavy bag of bits. “You would of course be compensated for your trouble.”
Applejacks eyes went as round as saucers as she ogled the overstuffed pouch.
“Why I think we could lend a hoof,” She answered happily, “How many of you are there?”
“Ah,” Clouds ‘best face’ flickered for a bit. Here comes the hard part. “Twenty three...”

Now it was Applejack’s turn to unhinge her jaw.

Chapter 5

The sun had barely come up, and a cool breeze was blowing between the trees at Sweet Apple Acres. Out in the south field sat a pony, a tall dark stallion, and he was sitting at a desk, in a field.
It was a new day and Cloud Storm was working through a list of repairs needed on the long-house.

Sort sleeping arrangements in the Apple Family barn: Check.
Arrange work details: Check.
Find materials for the restoration: Mostly check
Clear out the animals living in the property: ….... Unfinished.
Obtain disguises for guard patrols: In progress
Ensure favourable weather for restoration: Undone

Cloud sighed, looking up from the piles of parchment and over to the barn where his guards ponies were currently bunking down. Thankfully, guards ponies spent a fair bit of time training in the wilds and camping was part of that. The fact that Cloud had managed to wrangle out of wilderness training one way or another for the last four years didn’t mean he’d forgotten how to set out a bed roll.
Bedrolls or not though, here he sat in a high backed chair, at his personally made one of a kind rosewood inscribed by Princess Luna herself desk and basking in Celestia’s sun amongst sweet smelling apple trees. It could be worse he reflected.

“Hey there mister.”
Three little fillies, yellow, orange and white.
“Why hello there little ones,” Cloud rumbled, giving them all a wide smile, “How are you all this morning?”
The three little ones gave each other a look, before smiling back.
“You’re the guy my sister lent the barn to right?” The yellow filly with red bow piped up.

“Ahh, so you must be Apple Bloom then? It’s good to meet you at last. Please thank your sister for letting us use the barn.” He finished by smiling warmly down at the three little fillies and then going back to his piles of paperwork. Quill back in his lips the commander incognito signed off on one of the invoices for fresh wood.
“So whadda ya doing?”
“Gah!”
Somehow, all three fillies were on his desk and looking through his papers.
“Whoh there lill’ fillies!” He pleaded, “Get down from there!”
“It’s ok Mr!” the white one, the unicorn perked up, “We’ll help you organise your things!”
“Organise, that’s right!” The orange pegasus added, “You’ve got such a mess going on here that we’ll be able to make it all easy to work with and stuff!”
Cloud Storm was panicking now, this was getting out of hoof, fast.
“Girls!” He pleaded, “I don’t need organising, everything’s just fi-”
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER DESK ORGANISERS! YAY!”
“-ne....Oh Luna save us.”
Despite the commander’s protestations, the three determined fillies were well on their way to ‘organising’ his papers.
The orange one was using her wings to blow his in stack onto the dirt, presumably for sorting later, while the yellow earth filly, Apple Bloom, had lifted his out pile onto her back and was walking past the white unicorn who was trying to open the drawers with her magic.
Well....the poor stallion wondered, maybe they could lend a hoof, he hadn’t seen the surface of his personally made one of a kind rosewood inscribed by Princess Luna herself desk since the day before when it had been placed at the acres.

Then the little unicorn’s magic set the drawer on fire.
“...Oops?”

It was like a million ice cubes had been dumped down her spine.
Atop her throne in the court chambers of Canterlot Castle, Princess Luna shivered uncontrollably as the feeling of a thousand dead spirits walking across her grave crawled through her skin.
“Are you all right Princess?” The petitioner before her asked, timidly, noticing her sudden shift in expression.
Turning to look through one of the large castle windows the Princess had taken on a look of quiet consternation.
“I am fine....but I fear for another....”

Lieutenant Shelly Stone was having a wonderful time. Around their little camp fire last night outside of their barn at the Acres she had been assigned to carry out her idea of obtaining costumes for their patrols. It made sense, in her mind, that if they needed to carry out patrols or actions in and around Ponyville, they would need disguises. It was generally agreed by the other command staff that this was a practical suggestion and she had volunteered to be the one to go and make it happen, since it was her idea after all. The fact that she planned to visit the Carousel Boutique and meet the most chic and magnifique of fashion ponies hadn’t factored into her decision. Much.

“Why darling your coat is simply divine,” The alabaster seamstress was saying as she looked for matching bolts of fabric, “And your mane is such a wonderful complementary colour, it reminds me of the ocean, so clear and beautiful.”
Shelly blushed at the compliment, but didn’t dare move, transfixed as she was by sheets of fabric and a small arsenal of pins all about her person.
“It makes such a nice change to work with somepony who has an eye for fashion darling,” the other unicorn continued, “Most of my friends have no idea what I’m on about. Fluttershy is the only real exception, but...”
“Fluttershy!?” Spluttered the sea blue mare on the dress stand, “You mean that super model from a year ago who appeared and disappeared faster than a wonderbolt from the fashion scene and left about as much mess in the wake? You know her?”
“Why yes dear, she’s been my close friend for a long time.” the fashionista took on a slightly glum countenance, mouth turned into a slight frown and eyes looking down in sorrow. “In fact, it’s kind of my fault she ended up getting into modelling in the first place. She’s so shy you see and hates the limelight. It took a lot of courage for her to stay in it as long as she did, and even more to walk away. I will always be proud of her.”
There was hint of a tear near those deep blue eyes, but it was quickly blinked away. Shelly wasn’t even sure she had seen it at all.
“That’s quite the story Miss Rarity,” she breathed reverently, “I never knew it was so hard for her. I’d always admired her poise and natural grace. Did she ever model any of your designs Miss Rarity?”
This provoked a short harsh laugh from the other pony as she added and extra ruffle to the dress on her model.
“No, she didn’t. She was supposed to, that’s how it all started ironically enough. Photo Finish had come to take pictures of my dresses and designs, but instead ended up falling for Fluttershy as a model and didn’t give me a second glance.” Rarity sighed, “Still it didn’t matter in the end. I still ended up getting all the exposure I needed, and more, in other ways.”
Shelly almost couldn’t stop herself bouncing on the spot in excitement. “Yes I know! That dress you made for Princess Cadence was amazing! I’d wanted to come and meet you while you were working in the castle but I couldn’t get the time off...”
This got the white gossip pony listening, ears perking up as the sea blue mare on the stand began to blush as she realised her slip.
“So you work in The Castle do you darling? I never did ask what it is you do?”
Shelly was scrambling to remember her cover when she suddenly realised, they hadn’t agreed on individual roles yet. Thinking fast the Solar Guard came up with the first thing she could think of.
“I work for a logging company as their....business representative! That’s it....I sometimes attend big events to work up business contacts. Were you at the Gala by any chance?”
The Lieutenant already knew the answer, and she hated to do this, but she needed something, anything, to avoid the inevitable questions she couldn’t answer.

Rarity's face darkened at the mention of that frightful night "Don't get me started." she growled tightly.
She became so lost in daydreams of throwing Blueblood off of Canterlot Castle that the designer missed the look of abject relief which flooded over the face of her guest.

Chapter 6

It had been a horrible night.
After fleeing from Sugar Cube Corner and the all seeing gaze of the Mystical Madam Pie, Cloudy Sky had spent a very uncomfortable evening sleeping in the bushes at the edge of Ponyville. The ground had been scratchy, and the wind had been cold but in the end it had turned out to be worth it. When the sun had risen, with an air of sluggish reluctance, Sky had noticed the object of her observations heading out towards the edge of the Everfree forest. Trailing after the little purple Sparkle out to her destination she found quite the strange sight.
It looked like it a building site, with a small hoard of various ponies lifting wood, nails and....was that a clothes rack?

“You must be Panzer Hoof.” Twilight had walked up to a massive earth pony stallion. He was huge! If Sky didn’t know any better she’d have thought he could kick clean through a brick wall.

In fact, the more Sky thought about it...... she did know better! Panzer Hoof, First Lieutenant in Luna’s Night Watch, the indestructible terror on four hooves! Ducking back behind the bushes the little earth pony pulled her binoculars out and had a closer look. Why was Twilight talking to a member of the Night Watch? Why wasn’t he in armour, or at least in uniform? What were guards ponies doing in Ponyville in the first place? Taking another look around, the cloudy cutie marked realised that she knew most if not all of the other ponies there.

Right there was Buck Boots, and next to her was Charging Charlie, wait wasn’t he with the Solar Guard? Both branches of the Royal Guard were in Ponyville, out of uniform and they were all working on rebuilding a wooden long-house just outside of Ponyville on the edge of the edge of the Everfree forest. Twilight it seems had been brought in as a foremare and
out of everything that made the most sense. That purple unicorn was the most organised pony in the whole of Equestria, of course she would be the best for organising any large project.

Well, all of that seemed innocuous enough. Sky couldn’t help noticing though how comfortable Twilight seemed in the whole situation. She was about one of seven mares there in total, and yet didn’t seem to bat an eyelid at the stallions all around the place, not even the ones leering at her from the sidelines.

“How dare they look at my little Twilight like that!” The yellow mare growled, lifting a small rock with a spare hoof, “I’ll teach you...to.....stare!”
With a grunt of effort the earth pony had the stone flung clean and clear out of the bush and over the heads of the three stallions.
“Drat...”

Despite missing her intended target however, Cloudy Sky instead managed to strike a large barrel of wood sealant which was being lifted to the rafters above. With a clang the bucked upended its sticky contents all over the unsuspecting ponies beneath. With a startled whinnying the three immediately tripped or fell into one massive sticky mess of ponies, groaning and moaning at the sudden drenching.
“Ummm....” Sky was stunned at her totally unplanned victory. “That works.”

“Oops? Oops!?”
“Umm....yes?”
”YOU SET MY PERSONALLY MADE ONE OF A KIND ROSEWOOD INSCRIBED BY PRINCESS LUNA HERSELF DESK ON FIRE, AND ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY IS ‘OOPS!?”

Cloud Storm was beside himself with fury. These three fillies were the straw which broke the proverbial horse’s back so to say. After their little magical mishap, the yellow filly, Applejack’s sister, had quickly kicked mud over the offending blaze and it hadn’t spread, but the damage was undoubtedly done. Purple in the face the Night Watch Commander reared up and without further warning charged the three miscreants.
With shrieks of surprise the Cutie Mark Crusader Custom Desk Wreckers took off into the trees of Sweet Apple Acres.

“Get back here Luna Dammit!” The dark pegasus roared over their continued wailing as he took off into the sky to track down the chief offender, that unicorn filly with a taste for pyromancy.

“Sweetie Belle! This way!” With a snap the soldier turned his pale eyes to see the orange pegasus get onto a scooter, calling her friends along.
Just in time the three made it on and away before the the enraged pegasus crashed into the ground barely a nose length behind them
“Little Fillies, Little Fillies, come back to dear Stormy.... I won’t hurt you..... At least, I promise you’ll still be able to walk when I’m done.... Probably...”
Sweetie Belle was crying now, the voice of the stallion, who had pulled his head out of the crater he’d made and returned to the chase and ignoring the head deep hole he’d made in the earth, felt like somepony had coated her in ice cream and thrown her into a freezer, which surprisingly was not a pleasant feeling at all.
“Faster Scootaloo!” She shrieked, clutching Apple Bloom so hard she began to turn the same shade as their driver’s mane.
“I’m trying! I’m trying!” the pegasus cried back, not daring to look behind at the rapidly closing death machine. “Please just don’t say he’s gaining on us!”
“He’s gaining on us!” the others shouted in unison, eyes riveted on the rictus grin plastered all over the face of their own personal homing missile.
“Quick!” Squeaked Apple Bloom, “Head into the market, it’ll be too crowded in there!”

It was utter carnage. Ponies were strewn all over the place, on their backs, on their faces, one was even left hanging upside down from a shop sign. Stalls were in pieces and produce was squashed on the ground. To top it off, all that anypony could work out, it seemed some kind of miniature whirlwind had just stormed through Ponyville market place, a screaming, howling whirlwind.

To one practised eye sitting in an upper window of Sugarcube Corner it had been a very different sight. Three fillies leading a living wrecking ball of rage and fury. The figure sighed just as another, pinker pony trotted up beside them.
“That was really something wasn’t it?” Pinkie asked, nonchalantly, as she passed the figure a cup of steaming hot chocolate, with marshmallows and white chocolate sprinkles.
The figure sighed again before taking a sip. “That it was. More than a little overboard though.” They took another sip, not taking their eyes off the scene below, ponies now beginning to pick themselves up and take stock of the damage. “This hot chocolate is lovely. Thank you Pinkie.”
“Not a problem.” The pink mare grinned at her guest, “Just let it relax you before you go down and deal with him.”
The pony in the window nodded and took another small sip, letting the smooth warmth move down their throat. “You’re right of course. Going down there now would be pointless.”
“Hehe, if its points you need you should go visit my friend Rarity, she’s got whole cushions full of pointy pins! Or maybe you should see Pokey Pierce, he’s got more pins and needles than any pony I know, and I know a lot of Ponies!”
“Heh, Pinkie?”
“Yes?”
“You’re so random.”

Chapter 7

The world it seemed, was conspiring against them.
First it was the bucket of sealant sending two ponies to the showers, with a bottle of white spirits.
Unfortunately, that was only the first in a long line of ‘mysterious accidents’. Falling planks, potholes, nails ending up in sandwiches, one stallion had even managed to fall into a pail of concrete.
Panzer Hoof was quite seriously beginning to wonder if the place was haunted, at least up-until he started to work out that the disaster area seemed to centre around a certain Twilight Sparkle, and that seemingly had only affected the stallions...

The little purple unicorn had been invaluable despite all the setbacks. She had still managed through the powers of organization and efficiency (Read: Lists and Yelling) to get the fallen walls repaired and patched the roof all in the space of a single day. The interior was still ruined, rotten patches still evident amongst the separators and big black patches of mould still rife amongst the flooring. The initial discussions had put the estimate on making the place pony habitable at nearly a week, a long time for nearly twenty five assorted ponies to crash in a barn, but with the work done that day under the eyes of the Princess' student it looked like they could move in as early as tomorrow if they managed to keep up the pace they were at, and didn't breathe the spoors too hard. Sure, it wouldn’t be the most pleasant or comfortable, but it wouldn’t be that much worse than the barn at Sweet Apple Acres, and would be several steps up from the barracks back at Canterlot Castle after inter-guard sports day. Nothing stank quite like thousands of unwashed ponies after a long day sweating in plate armour. Still, beating the pegasi at Rugby was totally worth it.

It had been bothering Panzer Hoof that they been staying with the Apple Family. While it seemed an unavoidable necessity at the moment it brought the group closer to the public eye sooner than he liked. The original idea agreed between the three ponies nominally in command had been to keep under the radar of the various importants in Ponyville for a good month or so, just keeping to themselves and establishing a routine and public persona for their little band of lumberjacks.
Instead they were living with one, making another their forepony and, last he checked, obtaining materials and supplies from another. Considering for a moment, all the bizarre things that had been taking place in the last day or so, was it beyond the realms of possibility that this latest round of ‘mishaps’ was one of those very importants playing games?
It was possible. The files on the way down had drawn particular attention to the fact that both the pegasus Rainbow Dash and the baker Pinkie Pie were well known pranksters. Panzer dismissed the idea however when he considered that poor Treadhead had nearly drowned when the earth he was standing on had suddenly become a mire of mud. Something so dangerous and mean spirited didn’t fit the MO of either jokester.
The other possibility was that they were receiving aid from a certain local band of fillies.
No, that was unlikely too given the lack of shouting.

The cause of all the mishaps had finally decided to take a break. Despite all the problems Cloudy Sky had caused for the guard stallions they hadn’t let that break their work flow. In a way she swelled a little with pride at just how well they had coped with problem after problem. The fact that over half of those incidents had been total flukes didn’t dent her sense of accomplishment one bit. Maybe they would be a bit more careful around her darling Twilight Sparkle in future.

Chapter 8

“Well they’re certainly......special...”
Shelly’s voice carried a hint of dubiousness to it as she regarded the rail of of costumes Rarity had just spent the better part of the day creating.
"Well yes of course darling." The other unicorn replied. "You asked, without much explanation I might add, for several all encompassing Mare-do-well-esque super hero suits for such a gamut of mares, stallions, pegasi and unicorns and earth ponies that I had to stick with simplicity."
Simplicity was the definitely the name of the game. Twenty three skin tight suits with accompanying face masks, each with a bright diamond stitched into its centre, each one of twenty three different colours.
Individually one might not really look twice at the unnatural tones and the fabric stretched taut on flesh, but put nearly two dozen out together and it looked like a meeting of the SPANX club, (not that either mare there would admit to having even heard of such a club(remember the first rule of SPANX club)).

Despite being pretty much exactly what she had ordered, Shelly tore her eyes away from the assorted gimp suits and back to the establishment owner, who was currently doing her best impression of the tortured creator who, having now finished their hectic moment of creation and was now for the first time beholding the true horror their madness had wrought.
"Well," Rarity began, her voice slow, and perhaps half an octave higher than usual, "Either way, they're finished now. If I could trouble you to take these....things...away?"
With a deft flick and a flash the guardsmare had the rack covered and prepared to wheel out of the shop. "Many thanks Miss Rarity." She reached into her saddlebags, "Will this be enough?"
Taking the offered purse of bits into her own field the designer started looking inside before beaming from ear to ear.
"This is perfect Miss Stone. It's been a pleasure doing business with somepony else who understands a little about fashion, even though you were placing such a....strange order."
Unbeknownst to Rarity who was looking intently through the bits, the other mare was approaching slowly upon her with her horn ablaze.
"Can I ask you why you needed all these?"
"I'm so sorry Miss Rarity, but I'm afraid you really can't."

”GET BACK HERE!”
You’ve heard the Royal Canterlot Voice ™ right?
Well, if you were alive before the Banishment Of Princess Luna, or indeed after the Return Of Princess Luna (she insists on the capitalisation) then you’ve definitely heard the Royal Canterlot Voice ™. Commander Cloud Storm was currently doing his best impression of his all time favourite head of state as he rounded yet another corner and barrelled down just another tight Ponyville alleyway.
Ahead of him, only barely in sight, three fillies on a scooter zipped around the next bend, desperate screaming just a hint on the wind.
“Commander.”
One word, soft, and leaden, and the blazing comet came crashing to the ground.
Have you ever seen a pegasus going flat out?
Have you ever seen a pegasus going flat out try to stop suddenly?
Have you ever seen a pegasus going flat out try to stand to attention, legs straight, wings flat and hoof saluting, suddenly?
Well, I can try to describe the sound of wings slapping sides so fast it resembled the crack of a leather bull whip, or the earthquake-esque rumble of earth being plowed up as three hooves dig a furrow deep enough to bury his eyebrows, or the plink of stone and dirt from the various bins and containers arrayed in the alley behind the shops, but I don’t think I could do it justice.
Suffice to say, Cloud Storm found himself standing a pony’s height below a pile of dirt a pony’s height high, saluting the mare who was looking down on him with an expression which could only be described as flat and unreadable as marble.

“Commander.” She said again, in that same monosyllabic tone reminiscent of a tomb slamming shut.
“Captain!” The reply, and accompanying snap of hooves coming together, emanated from the fresh trench. “To what do I owe the pleasure, Ma'am?”
“I was visiting the area.” If Cloud was feeling daring enough to break protocol and look anywhere other than dead ahead at the rough dirt walls of his dugout he would have taken note that the alley he had remodelled was between the local bakery and quill shop.
“Why were you chasing those fillies?”
The first thing all guards and watch ponies were warned about during training on trench warfare was never to become engaged in trench warfare. Failing that, it was essential that you had good drainage. Trench hoof was a horrid condition gained from letting your hooves sit in dirty, cold water for far too long. At this stage, Cloud Storm was sweating so much that anyone else in the hole with him would have started looking to cut drainage channels to avoid their legs rotting.
“Ah, well...Ma'am, you see…”
“I’m waiting.”
“See…one of those fillies had caused some…” He was stuttering now, teeth chattering in a way with nothing to do with the rapidly filling trench.”…damage...to…too…GOVERNMENT! Yes, to government property, and I needed to take their details so I could…I could…BILL! Yes, to bill them…for the…damage?”
Again, were Cloud Storm to look at anything other than the wall of mud in front of him, (was that a small gem lodged in the stones? No, just a bit of flint) he would have seen the single eyebrow that had slowly climbed up the face of the mare before (and above) him.
“Would that government property happen to have been a personally made one of a kind rosewood inscribed by Princess Luna herself desk?”

“It’s looking like it’s going to be another great Ninja Night Princess!”
Her Senechal beside her, Princess Luna gazed out upon Canterlot in the late afternoon. Ponies scurrying about left right and centre to put as many obstacles into the streets as they could manage.
“Yes, indeed it does.” she murmured, eyes drifting over the edge of the cliffs and down into the valley below.
“I’m sure for many it will be…”

“Ah, well, Ma'am...see…” Despite its impressive length and depth the trench seemed to be filling more and more rapidly with water, practically streaming as it was off the earth’s sole occupant.

“You do remember Commander, that along with all inscriptions by Her Royal Highness there is a ward against damage?”

One of the Ponyville weather patrol, just finishing her shift, suddenly banked and twisted on her approach to Sugarcube Corner, barely dodging the cold updraught from below.
“The hell!? It’s supposed to be a warm day today, who’s bringing in this Arctic chill?”

Now all of Cloud Storm was shivering, and it was entirely unrelated to the rapidly forming layer of ice in his twentieth of an Equestria Games sized swimming pool.
“It had...slipped my mind.” He gulped.
“I see…”

“Is he gone?”
“Seems we lost him.”
“Oh thank Celestia.”
Rarity glanced up from her sewing machine at the bang from her front door to see the three Cutie Mark Crusaders collapse into the boutique panting and out of breath from their frantic chase all across the town from the outskirts.
“Sweetie Belle!” She cried, rushing over to her prone and flat tired little sister, “Where on earth have you been?”
Weakly, Sweetie looked up at her sister in confusion, “At Sweet Apple Acres with Applebloom and Scootaloo, I told you sis…”
The older unicorn tilted her head to the side and hummed slightly,
“Did you? I can’t seem to remember anything since I got up this morning.”