What's It Like?

Recovery

"Did you like that one, Big Mac?"

Once more, silence. Rainbow Dash had become accustomed to it. Over the past two weeks, she would sneak into the hospital after hours and sit by the behemoth of a colt and read to him from her collection of Daring Do novels. She hadn't planned for it that way at first, but some part of her felt at ease sharing with him her favorite adventure series about a pony almost as awesome as she was, so she'd just keep reading till the hospital opened up.

However, she found herself unable to stop there. After she went home and took a nap, she did her usual bit of work with the weather team, then waited until the Apples would leave the farm for the day to visit Big Mac. When the coast was clear, she did whatever she could, no matter how small, to help them out. They weren't hurting for help, as Big Mac had already plowed all the fields and done the heavy work before his accident, but Rainbow Dash felt she needed to start making up for him not being their to help in some way.

Once she heard the Apples returning to their farm, Rainbow Dash would know that visiting hours were over, which was when she'd fly back home to pick up her books and then to the hospital to read to Big Mac. It was a moot gesture, she realized, as he was always asleep by the time she arrived. She had been worried at first that he had been in a coma, but apparently the treatment just depleted his stamina, matching up perfectly with the night time to make him fast asleep.

It was better that way. While she wanted to profess how incredibly sorry she was about this, Rainbow Dash realized she still couldn't bare the idea of talking to him. Even if he, in his infinite patience and understanding, didn't yell at her for causing this, she'd know the truth of the matter and find herself unable to speak in his presence. It was only now, when she wouldn't get a response back from him that she could feel... unobstructed in talking to him.

Regardless of her feelings, she had finished the latest novel for the night and checked the time. There was still an hour before she'd have to get out or risk getting caught, but she hadn't brought another book with her tonight. Sighing, she tucked the Daring Do novel into a sack and looked to Big Mac once more. "Sorry I don't have anything else to share with you tonight. I'll make it up to you tomorrow night, but I guess for now, I should get moving." Rainbow Dash apologized as she collected her things, turning to make her escape out the window.

"Ah don't want ya ta leave just yet."

Rainbow Dash froze, unable to move in the slightest. She wasn't sure if she had just heard right, and if she did, then she was only far more concerned. Slowly turning her head back, she found Big Mac was pushing himself into a sitting position on the hospital bed, giving a couple of grunts as the casts made it difficult.

"B-but y-y-you're supposed t-to be as-s-sleep." Rainbow Dash stuttered, speaking as thought the pony was supposed to be dead.

Giving a low, rumbling chuckle that ended with a pained cough due to the pressure he put on his ribs, Big Mac gave her a smile. "Sugarcube, Ah ain't slept a single night since ya started visitin' me." he announced, making Rainbow Dash all the more bewildered at the incredulous fact.

"N-no, but I've been coming here for-"

"Two weeks, Ah know." Big Mac interrupted, holding a hand out and motioning for her to come closer. She merely shook her head, as though it was some sort of trap, even though she knew him better than that. "Come on, ya ain't never had trouble talkin' ta me when ya thought Ah was sleepin', don't tell me the 'awesomest pony in Equestria' suddenly can't handle talkin' ta me whe-"

"I almost killed you!" Rainbow Dash nearly shrieked, quickly covering her mouth with her hands to both avoid saying anything else in such a loud voice that the nurses may have heard, as well as to try and somehow stuff the words back into her mouth so she wouldn't have to hear him agree.

"Last Ah check, ya ain't the tree Ah crashed inta." Big Mac replied, almost totally shaking off any idea that she may have been guilty. "Poor thing too, Granny planted it herself when she was just a filly." he added, shocking Rainbow Dash over his concern for a tree over his own health.

Shaking her head furiously, Rainbow Dash approached Big Mac so she could make sure he heard her without potentially having to yell. "You don't understand, it's my fault! I'm the one that took you up there, I'm the one that made you lose control, I'm the one that put you in here!" she whispered as loudly as possible, her hands going to the sheets on the bed, clutching them as tight as possible.

Despite her admission of guilt, Big Mac only offered her the same sincere smile. "Sugarcube, ya ain't responsible for nothin'." he said softly, making her wince as he gave her the same little nickname he gave his sisters, people he loved so much. She didn't deserve that. Before she could protest, he raised a hand to silence her. "Yeah, ya brought me up there, it was your idea. But Ah didn't have ta go through with it. Ah'm a full grown stallion, Ah make mah own decisions. All ya were tryin' ta do is give me what Ah wanted, it just didn't go the way ya planned. If ya're guilty of anythin', it's bein' a good friend."

Rainbow Dash's jaw was clenched shut. It took all she had to fight back the tears. She hadn't cried when Big Mac first got injured, there would be enough from the Apples as they worried about their loved one. But now, she was struggling with the mixture of emotions. Part of her was so happy to hear him say he didn't blame her at all, in such a sincere manner that she couldn't help but know it was how he truly felt. But the other part of her said that, even if he didn't blame her, she knew she was still at fault.

Seeing her fighting herself, Big Mac did the only thing a colt in his position could do. Reaching out, he used his good arm to pull her against him, making her yelp slightly as his strength didn't seem to dwindle at all, keeping her tight against him, her face pressed against his chest. She could hear him hiss slightly as his still recovering ribs felt the pressure of her weight against him, but he didn't complain. She wanted to pull back, but as the same hand shifted to reach up to the top of her head, he began to gently stroke the multi-colored mane. She was powerless against him, despite how hurt he was, she just couldn't fight him AND her emotions at the same time... so she stopped fighting either of them.

Big Mac just sat their, letting the pegasus sob into his chest, not saying a word as he knew how vulnerable she was to allow herself to cry despite her immense ego and pride. It took only seconds for her tears to soak through his hospital gown, but he didn't care. He felt just as he did any time Apple Bloom came to him, crying of some small injury she had, or... when they had lost their parents and Applejack couldn't stop crying. It hurt to see them hurt, but part of him felt glad to be their support.

Eventually, Rainbow Dash seemed to run her course, either regaining control over herself in general or simply found no more tears could be shed at that time. It had taken her a few good minutes, but Big Mac didn't mind, he wasn't going anywhere. Surprisingly enough, she didn't try to leave his embrace now that she had stopped crying, even though his hold over her had slackened enough that anypony could slip out of it. That was also fine with him.

"AJ's been lookin' for ya." Big Mac suddenly declared, making Rainbow Dash tense against him. "Don't worry, she ain't mad anymore... well, that might be a mite fib there. She ain't as mad as she was before though. Ah had a good talk with her when Ah first saw her an' got her ta take it down a notch."

"It's fine... I sorta deserve it after..." Rainbow Dash trailed off, leaving Big Mac to roll his eyes.

"Ah want ya ta forget all 'bout it. Ain't no reason for ya ta feel like ya'll have ta second guess your decisions from now on." Big Mac replied, pushing her away just enough so that he could look her in the eye. Those dark pink orbs wavered under the intensity of his emerald gaze. "Ya did me a favor back there, sugarcube. For a moment, Ah really did feel free. Ah felt like Ah was flyin' an' was unchained for once in mah life. Maybe ya don't realize it cause ya live that way every day, but Ah've never felt more alive in that instant."

Between his words and the comforting smile he provided, Rainbow Dash couldn't help but give a tremulous smile of her own. She still knew what she had done to him, but at the same time, what she had done for him. It pleased her to know that he was able to come out of his shell a bit more, despite the way it concluded. Hopefully the next time they did something to get him to open up more, she would be abl-

"An' Ah'll always think ta that moment as the one time Ah was truly free, all because of ya." Big Mac said confidently, his smile growing a bit wider. Dash's, on the other hand, disappeared.

"What do you mean by that?" she inquired, pulling further out of his hold, her brow furrowing a bit.

Blinking, Big Mac replied "Well, Ah know Ah won't be able ta redo somethin' like that again, but Ah don't think Ah'd really want ta, no offense. Ah mean, Ah ain't tryin' ta dig any guilt inta ya, but Ah did end up in the hospital. Ah've been outta work for two weeks now, an' Ah'll be outta work for another once Ah get back home. Ah can't possibly risk doin' anythin' else that might get in the way of me providin' for mah family."

"N-No, you can't mean that!" Rainbow Dash nearly shouted once more, causing Big Mac to look to the room's door with fear that it might open from the outburst.

"But Sugarcube, while ya know Ah don't blame ya for this, ya gotta recognize that it just sorta shows Ah ain't cut out for anythin' but the farm." Big Mac elaborated, trying to make a point over why he shouldn't be anything but a worker.

This only made Rainbow Dash shake her head furiously, the end of her mane occasionally whipping around to hit Big Mac even. "All it shows is that I made a mistake on how to handle things. I regret doing something stupid and reckless and getting you hurt because of it, but I do not regret trying to make you feel free for once. You were... you were really happy up there, I could see it. I can't see why you'd give up another chance at feeling like that, even if we tried to handle it in a less dangerous way!" Rainbow Dash argued, tugging on Big Mac's gown. Those eyes that had once been filled with sorrow and regret over what she had done to him were immediately alive with a passionate flame.

Staring at her, Big Mac provided yet another smile, but sadness seemed to be dripping off of this one. "Dash, Ah appreciate everythin' ya've done an' want ta continue doin', Ah want ya ta know that... but... Ah'm a pony that has already got what Ah need before me. Ah got mahself a family Ah care 'bout, work ta keep me busy, an' a roof over mah head ta keep it all. Yeah, Ah've considered what ya said, that's how we got here in the first place, but it ain't gonna work. Not everypony has ta be social, or rather, they can't."

Rainbow Dash simply stared at Big Mac, who in his experience as an often silent individual, simply stared back. The unspoken exchange between the two carried on for minutes, and even Big Mac felt some level of unease that might make him crack before his adversary did. A level of emotion that went beyond determination to see him beaten at his own game or irritation at his persistence, but a righteous fury that sought to make good a grave injustice.

Thankfully, or perhaps not so much, Rainbow Dash eventually rose up and turned her back to Big Mac once more, collecting her bag and opening the window. He didn't want to see her leave, not yet. He had gotten so used to her night time visits, enjoying the sound of her voice as he laid in complete silence. The sound not of her bragging about her talents or accomplishments, but those of genuine concern for him, a selfish admission he allowed himself seeing as not many ponies outside his family gave as much care.

"You know what?" Rainbow Dash asked, still not facing the stallion who didn't reply, knowing she didn't need him to. "I never once thought you were stupid. Even when Applejack told me you quit school for the farm, I didn't think that was stupidity, that was just being a determined pony, and I can get that."

Big Mac raised a brow, not sure where she was going with this. He didn't recall saying he was a smart pony by any means. He'd be the first to say he was dim, even though he's been told by plenty of ponies otherwise. He didn't really care, he was just a farmer. He knew what he had to and that's all he cared about. So what was it she was trying to get at?

He didn't have to wait long to find out, as she continued. "But after hearing you talk like that... you've got to be the dumbest pony I've ever met. I mean, I may not be one to talk, but you're just... you're just a dumb oaf!"

Before Big Mac could question her sudden insults, she had thrown the windows open and flew out in, well, a dash. Sighing, the red earth pony leaned back into his bed. He hadn't meant to make the mare upset, but he was just speaking the truth. He was the big brother of the Element of Honesty after all, so it wasn't exactly like he was the best fibber. Still, it hurt a bit. Not the insults themselves, as he'd been called worse and shrugged it off. No, it was the raw emotion he could feel in those words. Rainbow Dash was practically timid, racked with guilt, before him moments ago and now she was furious with him. It just went to show that, as Big Mac said, he wasn't a social pony and he'd screw up these sort of things... and yet... something at the back of his mind told him this wasn't over.