It was a cold and rainy day in Equestria. The part of it that was the fields of Sweet Apple Acres were cold and rainy. The Cutiemark Crusaders, a trio of fillies consisting of the Earth Pony Applebloom, the Pegasus Scootaloo, and the Unicorn Sweetie Belle, were sitting in their clubhouse playing board games. More accurately, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom were playing chess while Scootaloo was taking a nap.
“And that’s checkmate.” Sweetie Belle said as she placed her knight down on a black square.
“You pretty planning Pike, you beat me again.” Applebloom lamented.
“The key is to put pressure on the king. I am planning less than you think. Though I would certainly agree I am pretty. What’s a ‘pike’?” Sweetie Belle said.
“It’s just an old word that means Unicorn. I heard Granny Smith use it the other day. I think she was talking about the Flim Flam Brothers. I asked her what Pike meant and she said it meant Unicorn.” Applebloom said.
“I like it. It’s short and sweet, and it starts with ‘P’ like Pegasus or Pony. It rhymes with so many things. You can ride a bike with a Pike, or take a hike with a Pike. Hey Scootaloo, wake up. Did you know another name for Unicorn is Pike?” Sweetie Belle said.
Scootaloo looked up. “Oh” She said. She stood up. “I’m pretty sure a pike is a fish, but the Pegasine word for Unicorn is ‘Luoth’. It means ‘horn pony’. The word for Earth Pony is ‘Munoth’. It means ‘earth pony’. The word for Pegasus is ‘Hiloth’ It means wing pony.” She said.
“That’s nice. Luoth is a pretty word, but it doesn’t rhyme with things like Pike does. You could have a friend called Mike the Pike.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Only if he were born a blue boy Unicorn.” Scootaloo replied.
“Why blue?” Applebloom asked.
“It makes the rhyme work.” Scootaloo said.
“All this poetry is doing my head in.” Applebloom said. She looked outside. “Hey, the rain’s stopped.”
“I better get going. Rainbow Dash told me this morning that there were going to be a few breaks so ponies could move about easier. I don’t want to get stuck here. I’m getting hungry.” Scootaloo said.
“I better go too. Rarity gets upset if I come back soaking wet. I tend to shake and make a bit of a mess.” Sweetie Belle said.
Applebloom packed up the chess set. “Let’s quit jawing, and get going, y’all. Who knows when the rain will start again? If I get too muddy, Applejack will make me take a bath, and I hate baths. The shampoo makes me cry, and I think it smells funny.”
“You’ll smell funny if you don’t take a bath regularly.” Sweetie Belle said.
“I smell like an Earth Pony should.” Applebloom said.
“If I forget to preen my wings, they can smell like old cheese.” Scootaloo said.
“I thought somebody had left a sandwich somewhere.” Applebloom said.
Sweetie Belle giggled.
Scootaloo glared at them. “I preened this morning, so it probably is a sandwich. We should clean this place out later, but I’m going home now. See you all latter.” Scootaloo said. She leapt out of the door and used her wings to buzz to the ground.
“She’s getting better. She’ll probably get her cutiemark once she masters flying.” Applebloom said.
“Maybe, but we aren’t earning are cutiemarks in speed standing here talking. The rain is coming. I can feel it.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Then let’s go. Goodbye, Sweetie Belle.” Applebloom said.
The two fillies left the clubhouse and galloped in different directions. They both managed to just get inside before the rain started once more.
Sweetie Belle found her sister carefully examining a jacket when she entered the boutique. “Welcome back, Sweetie Belle. Remember to wash your hooves. Don’t want to be tracking mud all over the place.” Rarity called out to her sister.
Sweetie Belle rubbed her hooves on a mat by the door. She trotted up to Rarity. “What’s that?” she asked.
“This is a jacket of my own design. It’s edgy. Like nothing ever seen before, but something doesn’t feel right. I think the buttons are misaligned. What do you think? Do they look straight? Perfectly straight I mean.” Rarity said.
“They look straight to me. Rarity, you’re such a perfectionist Pike.” Sweetie Belle said.
Rarity slowly placed the jacket down. She grinned madly. “Sweetie dear, did you just call me a Pike because I would like to remind you there is a horn upon your head as well.” Rarity said.
“I know. It’s just an old word that means Unicorn.” Sweetie Belle said.
“It most certainly is not. It is a cruel slur. There were not so many Unicorns in Ponyville when I was growing up. Kids used to make fun of me, and call me that name. It hurt so. Who called you a Pike? I will make that pony think twice before mocking my sister.” Rarity said.
Sweetie Belle looked away, “A nobody, I just heard the word in a conversation on the street.” Sweetie Belle said.
Rarity looked at Sweetie Belle. Her gaze softened. “You’re lying, and you would only lie to protect one of your friends. So I am guessing Applebloom or Scootaloo called you a ‘Pike’. It was most likely Applebloom as Pike is an Earth Pony word. Be honest, my dear. Did the three of you have a fight?”
“No, I don’t think Applebloom knew it was a bad word. I thought it was nice.” Sweetie Belle said.
“If she didn’t mean it to be cruel, I suppose it was nice, but you mustn’t let her call you that again. I will be chatting to Applejack, so Applebloom should know better. Now, I think you should get a start on your homework before dinner.” Rarity said.
Sweetie Belle nodded and cantered off to her room. She wondered if there were any slurs for Earth Ponies. She remembered one
Days passed. Rarity was busy with her boutique. Her planned conversation with Applejack never happened.
The cutiemark crusaders were in there club house. Applebloom was brushing Sweetie Belle’s mane.
“I wonder if I can earn my cutiemark in hair dressing.” Applebloom said.
“If you make my mane nice, you can, but remember. Bradding only. No cutting.” Sweetie Belle said.
“I wouldn’t want to risk ruining your mane. You’re such a pretty Pike.” Applebloom said.
Sweetie Belle stood up and faced Applebloom. “That’s a mean slur. You know not to call me that now.” She said.
“No, I don’t.” Applebloom said.
“Yes, you do. My sister said she was going to talk to your sister, you tree bucking Earny.” Sweetie Belle said.
Applebloom turned bright red. She snorted. “My sister never said anything to me. Your flaky sister must have forgotten.” She said.
“Don’t you dare make fun of my sister! Your sister is to blame.” Sweetie Belle said.
“You called me an Earny, and you made fun of Applejack. Now, we are going to have to fight.” Applebloom said. She leapt on Sweetie Belle.
The two young fillies began bashing and biting each other savagely. Shockingly, Scootaloo continue to nap peacefully until she was kicked by mistake. She woke up cranky and entered the fray with gusto.
It was truly fortunate Applejack happened by when she did or some pony may have sustained serious injury. Applejack separated the three flailing fillies before speaking.
“What in tarnation is going on here? Why y’all fighting like squirrels in a sack? I thought you were the best of friends.” Applejack said.
“She called me an Earny.” Applebloom said pointing an accusing hoof at Sweetie Belle.
“She called me Pike first.” Sweetie Belle yelled.
“And one of them kicked me, and I’m mad because Pegasi don’t have any special names.” Scootaloo cried out.
“I assure you there are slurs for Pegasi.” Applejack said. “If you really want to hear some ask your parents or Rainbow Dash because you ain’t hearing ‘em from me. It seems to me all this has stemmed from curiosity and confusion. That’s what my gut is telling me at any rate. If I was Twilight, I would lecture you, but I ain’t her, so we’re all going to the boutique to sort this out with Rarity.” Applejack said.
“Can we bring Rainbow Dash along?” Scootaloo asked.
“If we see her on the way.” Applejack said.
“Yeah.” Scootaloo cheered. She winced.
“On second thought, let’s stop by the house and get those injuries seen too. Y’all did a number on each other.” Applejack said.
“It’s their fault for making me angry!” The trio yelled in unison.
“First aid first. Blame later.” Applejack said.
After some cleaning, bandaging, and a short walk, Applejack at the Crusaders were inside the boutique sitting around the table. As luck would have it, Rainbow Dash was visiting at the time, so she was sitting at the table as well. This improved Scootaloo’s mood considerably.
Rarity served everypony lemonade except for Applejack who had tea. “You three are a mess. Sweetie Belle, don’t tell me you were trying to earn your cutie marks in street brawling.” Rarity said.
“No, we were just fighting.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Looks pretty hard-core for a fight. The only time I fought so hard when I was a filly was when some colts called Gilda a duoth.” Rainbow Dash said.
Scootaloo scrunched up her face. “Under pony? But Gilda is a Griffin.” Scootaloo said.
“I know, but duoth is a word some Pegasi use for any being considered inferior. It is a cruel thing to call anypony with a mind. Now I am a big pony, I know I should have used my words, but I was a hot blooded filly back then.” Rainbow Dash said.
“That’s what all this is about.” Applejack said.
“There’s a new Griffin in town?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“No, I mean this is all about cruel words. The fillies have been using slurs, and it’s led to violence.” Applejack said.
“Nopony called me any slurs. I just got kicked.” Scootaloo sulked.
Rarity raised up her hoof. “Excuse me, but I must interject. This is my fault. I found out Applebloom called Sweetie Belle a pike without realizing it was a bad word. I meant to talk to you about it, but I became ever so busy. Please, forgive me.”
“Now, you can’t take all the blame. This is old hates rearing their ugly head. Now, I am guessing you heard the word ‘Pike’ from Granny Smith. That’s a word from her time best left there. I want to know where you heard the word ‘Earny’, Sweetie belle.” Applejack said.
“Nowhere.” Sweetie Belle replied.
Rarity raised her hoof again. “I think this one is my fault again. Back when Trenderhoof was interested in you, I was jealous. I muttered to myself bitterly, and I may have called you an Earny, and Sweetie Belle may have overheard me. Sweetie Belle is this true?” Rarity said.
“Yes, Rarity.” Sweetie Belle said.
Applejack glared at Rarity. “I always stood up for you in school.” Applejack said.
“Applejack darling, you are one of my favourite ponies in the world. I know calling Ponies names is wrong, and you were more than worthy of Trenderhoof’s affection, but jealousy brought out the worst in me, and nopony was meant to hear my hate filled mutterings. Do forgive me.” Rarity said.
Applejack smiled. “Course I forgive you, Rarity. You’re one of the most decent ponies I know. We all get a little mad from time to time and our dark side peaks out. You know what. You’re one of my favourite ponies in the world. Why, your right up there with Rainbow Dash?” Applejack said.
“I thought I was your best friend. Don’t tell me I’m tied with Rarity.” Rainbow Dash said.
“Maybe you’re a little ahead.” Applejack said.
“I thought I was your best friend.” Applebloom said.
“You’re my best sister friend, and that’s even better than regular friend.” Applejack said.
Applebloom beamed with happiness. She looked smugly at Rainbow Dash and Rarity.
“I thought we were talking about slurs. I want to know some slurs about Pegasus Ponies.” Scootaloo said.
Everypony at the table looked at Rainbow Dash. “Fine, but you’re not to repeat them. “Feather brain” is a popular one. ‘Airhead’ is more of a general insult than a slur. Most think ‘Pird’ is the worst, but it’s never bothered me.”
“What does ‘Pird’ mean exactly?” Scootaloo asked.
“I know. It’s short for Pony bird. Isn’t it?” Applebloom said.
“Yep, it makes sense. We do have wings.” Rainbow Dash said.
“But Pegasi don’t lay eggs. You’re more like Bird Ponies.” Rarity said.
The group gave her a surprised look.
“Twilight Sparkle isn’t here. Someone has to say these things.” Rarity said.
“Wish I’d known we didn’t lay eggs earlier. Sweetie Belle and Applebloom put a chicken’s egg under me while I slept. They told me I’d laid it. I roosted on that thing for half a day before they told me the truth.” Scootaloo said.
Rainbow Dash laughed. “Told you she’d fall for that one guys. It’s a classic.” She said.
Scootaloo looked hurt. “How could you have them trick me like that?” She asked.
“I told you. It’s a Cloudsdale classic. I was tricked when I was young. I kept that egg near me for almost three days before my mother found out and told me we’re mammals and we give birth to live young.” Rainbow Dash said.
“But there’s this mammal called a platypus that lays eggs.” Scootaloo said.
“Yeah, I told them to tell you that too. It’s a truth that makes the scam all the sweeter. You know what to make it up I will teach you a little
Pegasine. We Pegasi don’t call Unicorns ‘Pikes’. We called them ‘Thorns’. The funny thing is sounds like the Pegasine word thron.” Rainbow Dash said.
“Thron, I heard that once. Doesn’t it mean rod?” Scootaloo asked.
“As in lightning rod?” Applejack asked.
“Yep, isn’t it funny?” Rainbow Dash said.
“No, it is distasteful. Unicorns should not be defined by their horns any more than Pegasi should be defined by their wings. We are all ponies with hearts and souls. Slurs encourage ponies to forget that. That is why we are not teaching the youngsters any more hate speech.” Rarity said.
“Just as well. The Pegasus word for Earth Ponies is really mean.” Rainbow Dash said.
“Now, I want to know it.” Applejack said.
Rainbow Dash whispered in Applejacks ear. Applejack’s eyebrows shot up.
“That is just evil.” Applejack said.
“I know. It’s from really old days. I once overheard one of my weather team use it. Told her I suspend her without pay if she used it again. I don’t tolerate ‘thorn’ either, but I get really angry about the other one.” Rainbow Dash said.
“Will you tell me the other one?” Scootaloo said.
“When you’re a big pony, but not before then.” Rainbow Dash said.
“I shouldn’t use the word ‘Thorn’ to describe Sweetie Belle or Rarity right?” Scootaloo said.
“Don’t use it to describe any pony. Rarity is right. Slurs are distasteful hate speech.” Rainbow Dash said.
The Cutiemark Crusaders nodded in unison.
“Well, it’s been swell, but Applebloom and I gotta get back to the farm. Still a few more chores to do before sundown. Anymore questions before we go?” Applejack said.
The Cutiemark Crusaders looked at each other. The same thought was in all their minds. “We only have one question.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Is it really possible to earn a cutiemark in street brawling?” Scootaloo asked.
“Because I think I speak for all of us when I say we didn’t get use hardly any of our moves in our fight before Applejack stopped us.” Applebloom said.
“Trust me. You three were all in it to win it. If it was your destiny to be fighters you would have earned your cutiemarks three times over. I’m glad all this mess cleared up, and we can all still be friends. Thanks for the drinks, Rarity. See y’all later. Let’s go, Applebloom.” Applejack said.
Applebloom said her goodbyes and she and Applejack were off home.
“Want to walk me home?” Scootaloo asked Rainbow Dash.
“Sure. Let’s go kid. See you, Rarity, Sweetie Belle.” Rainbow Dash said. Scootaloo waved goodbye and they were off.
Sweetie Belle looked at her sister. “It’s been a big day.” She said.
“You can say that again.” Rarity said.
“Always tough dealing with the Poyim.” Sweetie Belle said.
Rarity just sighed and put her face in her hooves.
