By
Inky Shades
There were so many classes to choose from. Science, history, math, English. So many subjects, with many people who love them and just as many who hate them. Gym, home ec, art, music. Everyone has one that they gravitate towards, one that they love above the others. When one goes to school, they learn which it is that they love. At least most do. Aria did not.
For the longest time, Aria floated through life never caring about trivial things such as her favorite subject at school. All that mattered was feeding with her song, getting stronger. Strength was something that Adagio drilled into her head for as long as she could remember. If you had strength, if you had song then you had everything. There wasn't a need for anything else. But what would happen if they lost it all?
An alien concept. Something she never thought would happen. Yet after the Battle of the Bands, it was a concept that became uncomfortably familiar to her. No more strength, no more song, not after her pendant was destroyed. All those years of floating and she finally hit land.
At first they tried to fight it, tried to find a cure for their powerlessness. Surly something could fix them. Yet the more they tried the more the reality sank in. There wouldn't be any changing their fate. Then something happened. They drifted apart. It was subtle at first. She didn't even know it was happening.
It started with a few less words spoken between the three of them. She didn't mind this too much. Less being yelled at by Adagio, less of Sonata, well, being Sonata. Things were great, she had thought, but they weren't. Less words turned to silence and she'd found herself missing her band mates eccentricities. Then they left her, each wandering in a different direction.
She didn't know why she felt so strongly about their departure. It wasn't like she was particularly close with either of the sirens, but they were always around and she was always with them. Maybe that was just it. They were there, a constant that she could attach herself to. Now there was nothing, no one. She was alone.
But she also felt something else about the departures of Adagio and Sonata. Lost. She didn't expect to feel this, but she did and it hit her even harder than being alone. When she was part of the Dazzlings, she was part of a group and could flow through life with the other girls without even having to think about it. Now she had to stand on her own feet. She could no longer go with the flow, and this made her wonder. Who was she?
That question plagued her mind as she walked down the halls of Canterlot High, glancing at the doors that led to classes she didn't know whether she liked or not. All because she never bothered to pay attention or try. What was the point when her life was consistent and everything else was pointless? Where would she even begin anyway?
Aria felt the students watching her, judging her. It put her off the first time she returned to school after her loss against the Rainbooms, experiencing the students discontent. Of course it didn't surprise her, she did try to control their minds... no. She did control their minds, well, some of them anyway. Their vitriol was to be expected.
So she kept her head up and ignored them as best she could. Whether she had her powers or not, she was still a siren and they were just humans. She could take whatever they threw at her. Still, the venom in their words occasionally had more bite than she was prepared for, but she managed. However, managing grew tiring after awhile. Why fight when it's pointless? So she'd keep her head down and blend.
She heard the students whispering non to quietly around her. Sometimes she wondered why she stayed. There was no reason, no purpose for her being here, subjecting herself to a torment that didn't have a perceivable end in sight. It wouldn't be the first time she'd moved to a new location. There'd been a few times in the past where her and the other sirens had over-stayed their welcome. However, this would be the first time she'd leave alone.
Despite the fact she could be torment free if she just walked out the door, she couldn't imagine leaving Adagio or Sonata. Even though they didn't talk to each other anymore, she found their presence reassuring. Or maybe she was just weak and didn't know how to make choices for herself having had someone else make her decisions for her for so long.
What if she made the wrong choice? What if she left then found out that she actually wanted to stay? What if she stayed and nothing got better? She felt anger boil inside of her. She wanted to scream. Things felt so much more complicated now that she only had herself to rely on. If only Adagio would tell her what to do.
But even if Adagio told her what to do there was still another question she had. Who would she be? Would she be nice? Mean? Dumb? Smart? Would she change at all? Was who she is now the person she really was?
She was pathetic. Even simple choices felt out of her league. How would she survive if she couldn't make a simple choice? Aria sat on a nearby staircase and hunched forward, resting her arms on her knees. What was she going to do?
“You know the lunch bell rang, right?” Aria felt a hand on her shoulder.
That voice sounded familiar. Aria twisted around to view the person who had bothered her. Perfectly done makeup and hair. There was a moment of surprise as the two of them recognized each other, but she wanted to do nothing more than ignore the Ranbooms' keytarist. What was her name again? Rarity? Yeah, that was it.
“Oh, it's you,” Aria said, turning her back to Rarity. Maybe if she tried enough she'd leave.
“Now there's no need to be like that,” Rarity said. “I was only trying to be nice.”
“By telling me the bell rang? I'm not deaf.”
“There's no need to be rude.” Aria could hear the huff in Rarity's voice.
“And there's no need for you to still be standing here.”
“The Battle of the Bands is over. We can at least try to be civilized in each other's presence.”
Yes the battle was over, but—“It wasn't the only thing that was.”
“Pardon?”
Aria ran her hands down her face. “Nothing. Just go away, find someone else to bother.”
“Fine,” Rarity said, walking down the stairs. Once she reached the base, she turned around to face Aria.
Great. She wanted to say something. “What now?” Aria asked. Couldn't she just go away? Was it really that difficult?
“Just one question. Why aren't you with Adagio and Sonata?”
“I'll counter your question. Why do you care?”
“Curiosity,” Rarity said simply.
“Alright. You want to know?” Honestly, Aria didn't care. If Rarity wanted to know so bad, she'd tell her. Aria opened her arms towards the walls. “Have you even been here the past couple weeks? I'm sure you've heard what they've been saying about me and I'm sure the other sirens. Their whispers travel further than they think.”
Rarity shifted on her feet. “Well, yes. I have heard some rather... unpleasant things.”
“'Unpleasant?'” Aria scoffed. “That's putting it mildly. The Dazzlings are finished. Adagio and Sonata have gone their separate ways.” She could feel anger building withing her. “I hope you're satisfied.”
“You were trying to control the minds of the entire Canterlot High student body!” Rarity placed her hands on her hips.
Details. Aria sighed, feeling her anger subside. “Look, I'm not going to hold our situation against you. You did what was in your nature just as we did what was in ours,” she said. “I don't want to talk about this anymore. So can you just leave me alone? Go find your friends or whatever.”
“Fine,” Rarity said, turning to leave.
A sudden thought hit Aria. What if she asked Rarity for advice? “Wait, before you go—never mind.” She thought better of her idea. How desperate was she to be talking to one of the Rainbooms?
Still, Rarity didn't leave. “What is it?”
Aria closed her eyes and sighed once more. This was stupid. Was she really going to doing this? “How do you find you?” She peered up at Rarity whose eyes had widened.
“There's not really an answer for that.” Rarity's words were slow like she wasn't expecting the question.
“That's helpful.” Sarcasm laced Aria's words. “Thanks for nothing.”
“What did you expect to hear?”
Honestly, Aria didn't know. “It doesn't matter.”
“If it doesn't matter then why did you ask in the first place?”
“I said it doesn't matter so just leave me alone and drop it. ” Why did she even think Rarity would be able to help her?
Rarity straightened the hem of her skirt as she sat down beside her. Great, she wasn't leaving. “Why did you ask that question?” Rarity eyed her curiously, and Aria knew that she wasn't going to leave without an answer.
What harm could there be in telling Rarity anyway? It wasn't like she could fall any lower than she already was. Besides, she'd never talked about her feelings like this to anyone before. It wouldn't hurt to air her thoughts. She doubted Rarity would use anything that she told her against her, and even if she did, it wasn't like it would be anything worse than what she was already dealing with.
“I've been with Adagio and Sonata for as long as I can remember. It was a rare day when we ever did anything as individuals, but now that I don't see them beyond passing, I've found myself with more alone time then I'm used to. And now I don't know what to do,” Aria said.
Rarity nodded slowly. “I see. Do you have anything you like doing?”
“I don't know.”
“What about singing?”
“It was just a means to an end.”
“Okay. What about painting?”
Aria rubbed her forehead. “I don't know!” she exclaimed. “That's what I've been trying to figure out all day. I don't know what I like. I don't know what I don't like. I just don't know who I am...”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean without the others I'm no one.” Aria turned away from Rarity. Oh how she wanted to punch herself and knock some sense into her head.
“You're wrong.”
Aria made eye contact with Rarity. Her words sounded sure. Though she didn't believe her. “Oh really? Why don't you enlighten me?”
“You're Aria,” Rarity said. “It doesn't matter if you know what you like or don't.”
“It doesn't? But don't our interests make us who we are?”
Rarity smiled. “We're more than just the sum of our interests, you know. Interests come and go, but you're still you no matter what. Do you understand?”
Could it really be that simple? What she said made a lot of sense to her. Maybe she was right. “I guess,” Aria said.
“Good. Now I want you to say it.”
“Say what?”
“That you are you.”
“I am me,” Aria said. And as she spoke the words, she found that they resonated within her. “I am me,” she whispered.
“Do you feel better now?”
“I think so, yeah.”
“Great!” Rarity stood up and walked to the base of the stairs. “I'm glad that I could help.”
“So thanks, I guess.”
“Anytime,” Rarity said. “You know, you could sit with us at lunch. I'm sure I could convince the other girls.”
Aria's face scrunched up. “Pass. Just because I appreciate your help doesn't mean that we're friends or anything, now.”
“It's just lunch. Besides, how do you know you won't like eating with us?” Rarity held her hand down towards Aria.
With a sigh, Aria said, “Fine.” She accepted Rarity's hand. “But if you start talking about the 'magic of friendship', I'm out.”
