The Elements of Awesomeness

Act I- The Journey

The lights of the new dawn streaked across Twilight Sparkle’s face. She woke up tiredly to find she woke up an hour late.

She was panicking. Not today, not today. She ran around her house to find everything she needed. Then Spike woke up from all of the ruckus.

“What the heck is going on, Twilight? Are we getting robbed or something?”

Twilight said between breaths, “No, Spike! Remember that letter Princess Celestia sent last night? She said we need to be in Canterlot early in the morning! According to my calculations, that’s right now!”

Spike sighed. He just grilled up an omelet and drank some orange juice while Twilight ran around. Finally, Twilight was done… too bad the house was in pieces.

“Okay… let’s go.” Twilight said. Spike had already been ready for 15 minutes.

Twilight just teleported the both of them to Canterlot. Spike was confused.

“Why do you NEVER use that?”

Twilight was stumped. “I really don’t know.”

Spike sighed. “I thought not.”

Twilight realized they were right in front of Princess Celestia herself. “Oops! Um...”

Celestia giggled. “Not the best day to wake up late, is it?”

Twilight frowned. “No, today is probably the worst day.”

Celestia got a straight face. “Okay, today we learned that there has been a Changeling attack. This is serious business. In fact, the Elements of Harmony won’t be able to stop them. Queen Crysalis has grown ever too powerful.”

Twilight felt like her stomach had dropped to the ground. Is there going to be a way that they could defeat the Changelings? “So… how are we going to defeat them?” Did I just say my thought out loud?

Celestia put on a proud face. “There is only one way to defeat these accursed Changelings- we must bring in the other elements.”

Twilight had never heard of these “other elements” before. “What are these elements you’re talking about?” I just said my thought again!

Celestia now had on a sinister smile. Does she have a face for every emotion? “We need heroes who have no bound. We need heroes that are nearby. We need… the Elements of Awesomeness.”

Twilight face-hoofed herself. We’re doomed.

“Are you serious?!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Yes, I am serious.” replied Princess Celestia. “In fact, they are all right in Ponyville. But remember: They are the last ponies you would expect to save the world. Also, so I don’t have to tell you later, you must go to a place outside of Equestria. Don’t ask me where to go; I don’t even know where it is. Just let fate and destiny meet. And to find your ponies, do a simple walk through Ponyville. You will find your ponies then. They are not Changelings.”

Twilight understood all of this, and accepted it for some reason, but decided to push it to her limits: “And what if I don’t accept?”

Celestia smiled sinisterly again. “Then I have a question for you: Do you like bananas?”

Spike spoke up for the first time in a while. “Ooh! I love bananas!”

Oh no, thought Twilight. She teleported out of the palace before they were sent to the moon, and missed. When they were on the outskirts of Ponyville, Spike asked, “Why did you that? I wanted a banana!”

Twilight sighed and started her quest. As she walked through Ponyville, she noticed that it near barren. There was no pony around. She still continued to walk through Ponyville. When she was nearing mid-town, she noticed 2 ponies walking together also in mid-town. She waved and yelled to them. “Hello there!” Twilight yelled. She realized that she didn’t think before she spoke; luckily, these weren’t Changelings.

There were Vinyl “DJ-PON3” Scratch, the famous Equestrian DJ, and Octavia, the famous Equestrian cello player. “Yo, what’s up, Twilight!” exclaimed Vinyl. They walked up to each other. Vinyl continued, “What’s up with this place? We’re like the only ones in this entire town.”

Octavia said, “I know. Vinyl and I have been walking around town the whole day, and you’re the first other pony we’ve found.”

Twilight replied, “Spike and I have been told been by Princess Celestia that there has been an attack by Changelings around Equestria. She said I needed to find some new ponies as elements. She said they were around town. I think you two are elements.”

Vinyl giggled. “What would mine be? Would I be the Element of Dubstep?”

Octavia thought for a moment. “I suppose I would possibly be the Element of Music.”

Twilight said, “It doesn’t matter what your element is. It’s just that you are one.”

Vinyl thought of something. “What if the ‘Princess Celestia’ is actually a disguised Chrysalis, and she gave you fake information?”

Octavia replied, “Then that means we’re Changelings. I don’t believe that’s true.”

“But what if we are?”

Octavia just gave “the look” and Vinyl stopped.

Twilight said, “Well, do you want to come with Spike and I? We’re going to continue to find the other elements.”

Both Vinyl and Octavia nodded almost simultaneously. So, the ponies joined the quest. 2 out of 6 done. Hopefully this will end faster than expected.

As the 4 of them walked through the seemingly ghost town named Ponyville, they felt like a more powerful force was watching over them. Not Princess Celestia, not Princess Luna. Something of higher power. It was a creepy presence.

Anyway, as the small group continued through town. It was deathly quiet, so Twilight tried to pick up some kind of conversation: “So… when did you realize that you were the last ponies in Ponyville?”

Octavia replied, “This morning. We woke up to realize that the town was deserted.”

Vinyl continued, “We noticed for the last few days that the population was going down, also.”

Twilight realized that she realized this also. If this is a Changeling attack, then why is the population going down? Shouldn’t the Changelings disguise themselves as a pony?

Twilight said, “This is strange, I admit.”

Octavia and Vinyl nodded.

Twilight tried to continue more. “So, um… how has-“

She was interrupted when a Pegasus fell from the sky in front of all of them. It was none other than Derpy Hooves, the pony famous for being a Klutz and being Derpy. This meant both her eyes and her personality. How she acted seems like an emotion it itself.

“Hey guys! Sorry I had to drop in!” said Derpy.

“Hello, Derpy…” said everyone in different ways, not mentioning the pun, even though it was horrible. They just didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

“I’ve been flying around town Ponyville for a while, and I found you! Strange what’s happening, huh?”

Twilight replied, “Princess Celestia said it was a Changeling attack, even though I’m convinced it isn’t. There is no proof of any of any Changelings, and they should be being us, not getting rid of us.”

Vinyl said, “I still like my theory.” Octavia face-hoofed herself.

Twilight continued, “I am supposed to find these new elements around Ponyville. Would you like to accompany us?”

Derpy gladly replied, “Sure!”

There is no way Derpy is an element, thought Twilight. There is no element that she could be, unless there’s an element for being a Klutz.

As the small band continued on through town, it felt creepier. It felt even more silent, even though there’s only one kind of silent. The sun felt weak like the moon. Twilight just realized something: It hasn’t been moving. Oh no, something bad must have happened to Princess Celestia.

As they continued on, they heard 3 ponies coming around the corner. Everyone except Twilight, and Spike considering he was riding on her back, yielded, thinking it was a Changeling. Twilight had pretty much debunked Princess Celestia’s theory. Why would she lie? Or was she wrong? Or was she guarding us from the facts? Or was she giving us hopes that we could defeat this foe, because we would give up if we knew how powerful it really was? As the thoughts bounced around in Twilight’s scrambled head, she bumped into one of the 3 ponies from around the corner.

Twilight bumped into Lyra Heartstrings, and her companions were Bon-bon and Dr. Whooves, 2 other “background ponies.” Lyra played a Lyre, and wasn’t as famous as Vinyl or Octavia, but was still very good. Bon-bon is a voice actor… that’s pretty much it. Dr. Whooves is special; he apparently came from a completely different world, and his name is based off of some famous movie or something from that world. He also apparently time-travels. Even though there is no proof of this ANYWHERE, that world claims that it’s a fact. Weird, huh? It’s probably because of his hourglass cutie mark. Fine, I’ll stop my random babbling.

“Oh, hello,” said Lyra. “Fancy meeting you on such a beautiful occasion.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “I know, right? It’s just great that almost everypony in Ponyville is suddenly gone, huh?”

Dr. Whooves spoke up in his strange accent that humans could recognize as British. “Yes, this is quite a strange… what is it now? Is there really anything that could describe this? I’ll just call it an-“

Vinyl interrupted, “-apocalypse!”

Octavia just wanted to slap Vinyl in the face so hard at that point. Dr. Whooves continued, “I’ll just call it an “occasion”, since that really best suits it.”

Bon-bon spoke up, “So, um, why are you all walking around Ponyville? Are you trying to find other ponies?”

Twilight had to explain the situation another time, but this time she put in her two cents about it. “I think Princess Celestia explained to Spike and I that it was Changelings, but they it really isn’t because we would give up if we knew that our opponent was actually much harder to defeat.”

Vinyl was about to speak up about her theory, but Octavia apparently snapped a nerve and gave her “the look” again, making Vinyl stay quiet.

Twilight continued, “As I explained, we need to find the new elements in Ponyville. I’m assuming it refers to you all, since, excluding Spike and I, there’s 6 in the group, so you are all the new elements.”

Derpy yelled, “Woohoo! I’m going to save the world! Yeah!”

Octavia asked Twilight, “And what kind of element is this group? I know you are one of the Elements of Harmony, so we’re the “Elements of” what?”

Twilight answered with a groan, “You’re apparently the “Elements of Awesomeness”, according to Princess Celestia.”

Vinyl nodded and said, “Seems accurate.”

Dr. Whooves said, “’Awesomeness’? You said that it is more powerful than the Elements of Harmony? That doesn’t seem probable, now does it?”

Twilight replied, “That’s what the Princess said. I don’t believe it; maybe it isn’t necklaces and a weird crown thing, but something different. Something more powerful, possibly.”

Bon-bon continued with the questions, “What will our elements be?”

Twilight answered, “I don’t know. You all seem like the toughest ponies to give a specific element to.”

This was, thankfully, the last of the plethora of questions was there. Twilight was relieved to stop talking.

As they reached the outskirts of Ponyville, Twilight saw her house there. (If I’m wrong, sorry, I don’t have an atlas of Ponyville right in front of me.) She knew what had to be done. She let Spike off of her back and explained, “Spike. I am leaving Ponyville with the rest of the group. Stay at home. Do not open the door for ANYPONY. If you see me, it might not be me; it might be a Changeling, if that’s really the problem around here. If I come here with the whole group, there’s a high chance that really is me and them. Please, just stay safe.”

Spike had tears in his eyes; that was fast. He hugged her and said, “I don’t want you to go. But if I must stay here, I will. Please, you stay safe also.”

Twilight smiled and said, “I will.”

Spike went inside and didn’t come out. After Twilight was sure he was going to stay in, she said, “Ok, everypony. Let’s go save Equestria!”

“Woohoo!” yelled Derpy.

“Let’s do this!” yelled Lyra.

“Yeah!” yelled Bon-bon.

“Heck yeah!” yelled Vinyl.

“Yes!” yelled Octavia.

“Cheerio!” yelled Dr. Whooves.

And so began the quest to save Equestria by these ponies. This is not a very sturdy group, huh? I would be surprised if they can manage to make a grilled cheese together, much less save Equestria.

So, they began walking on their long journey to the end of Equestria to find their mystery surprise of awesomeness. There really isn’t much to talk about; all that they did was walk for a long time in a single direction. There were no animals. No other ponies. And it was still deathly quiet. The sun was still absent of movement.

During their journey, they popped up random questions about everyday life and personal life. Nothing of interest. However, Twilight did make a journal. It was supposed to be daily, but there was only one day because the sun never went up or down. Here it is:

Day 1 Time: 53:34 (Yes, you just read that right.)

The group and I are traveling to the edge of Equestria to find these new elements. We have been traveling in a straight direction for what would be multiple days, if the sun would actually go down. I’m not even sure if this is the correct direction. My gut says yes, my heart says yes, but my brain is still not sure. I hope this is going to be worth it. If not, I think we’re all doomed. Also, I hope that these new elements are more powerful than the Elements of Harmony. If Princess Celestia lied, we’re all doomed. Wait, I just said… erm, wrote that. Whatever, that still will happen; it’s true.

…There’s nothing else to write about. That’s it… this is so boring.

And that’s the end of it. Abrupt ending, isn’t it?

After 1 day of walking, the finally reached the edge of Equestria. It was a frozen ice land. Glaciers and frozen mountains everywhere. A blizzard was pouring down on the land. This must be where Pegasi don’t control weather, but it just controls itself. It was freezing. In fact, it was so cold, when Derpy sneezed, there was frozen horizontal snot attached to her nose. Dr. Whooves had to force it off by pulling it.

They went up to what seemed to be a frozen doorway. It was a light-blue arch with a perfectly straight line right down the middle, signifying that it truly was a double-door. As they were expecting the door to magically open somehow, Lyra noticed a small robot-like eye coming from a square hole in the wall look at the 7 of them. “Look!” she pointed out.

As the rest of the group moved their heads to look at the… thing, it quickly retreated back into its small hole and the hole closed with a layer of ice to cover it. “What?” asked Twilight.

Lyra was annoyed. “Every time!” she yelled. “Every time something cool happens, it has to disappear, so I’m the only one who was able to see it. What if it was a human?”

Bon-bon has always dealt with Lyra’s ramblings about this non-existent species. “Do you still believe in those things? They don’t exist!”

Lyra replied angrily, “They DO exist! With their…” she lifted up her two front hooves in front of her face and continued, “hands…” she hissed.

Pretty much everypony had face-hoofed themself that time, including Derpy.

As the arguments continued, Derpy had gotten bored and looked around. She noticed that the robot eye was back in its spot. She just walked up to it and said, “Hello, mister robot eye.”

The eye just looked at Derpy and tried to look her in the eyes… but failed. It apparently got confused, and exploded. “Aww…”

The giant door then rumbled then slowed opened inward. The arguing ponies shut their mouths and stared at the sky blue door opening. Once the door stopped moving and stayed like that, Twilight broke their silence by saying, “Well, I guess that’s our queue.”

As they walked inside, they felt the cold going away and being replaced with nice warmth. Dr. Whooves noted this by saying, “Strange, is it just me or is it getting warmer?”

Before any of them could reply, a strange figure went up to the group. It appeared to be a hooded pony, similar to the figure of Zecora in her hood. As the group readied to fight this mysterious pony, it raised its hooves to show it means no harm. When the group went out of their fighting poses, it spoke. “Welcome, heroes! This is the Hall of the Heroes. I assume you realize that your land is losing all of its inhabitants. This is because an angry, forgotten god is returning to destroy the land. He was the god of war in the ancient religion. But enough of the backstory; if you want to defeat this foe, you must have the strongest weapons: The Elements of Awesomeness. Unlike the Elements of Harmony, these are much stronger and less girly. Anyway, before I ramble off into the sunset, let us go on.” It waved in the direction the group was heading anyway.

As all 8 of them on through the hallway, they saw pony mannequins all over the place. Strange…

“Oops!” the strange pony said. “I just remembered I’m not supposed to help you from now on, until you finish. So… bye!” He threw down a smoke bomb and disappeared in the dense mist of gray.

“Weirdo,” said Bon-bon.

“I know,” continued Lyra.

“Whatever,” said Twilight. “He doesn’t matter right now. What does matter is continuing on to find these things that he was talking about.”

They all nodded and continued on to find a door of regular size. They opened it and saw that inside was a beautiful meadow. There were no animals around, but the trees were too pretty to have them realize it. As they walked through, they heard a loud sound off in the distance, like a spring getting unpressurized. “That did not sound good,” said Octavia.

They heard another even closer. And another even more close. Then one right behind them. They turned around to see one of the mannequins behind them, staked under it by a wooden stick.

Vinyl seemed to overreact. “Is that it? Is this really it? All that we have to do beat these up? Easy!” She then tried to roundhouse kick it, but it was as tough as steel. She was going to apparently say something, but it was block by the pain.

“That obviously isn’t the preferred method of combat,” said Octavia.

Despite the pain, Vinyl managed to say words. “No, really?”

Twilight went up to the mannequin and investigated it. Made of solid steel, magic-proof, and unable to be lifted off the ground by a Pegasus. I can’t seem to find a method of attacking. Maybe…

“Show yourself, you coward!” Twilight yelled.

The strange pony appeared out of smoke, similar to how it left. He said, “Hey! I am not a coward! I’m just doing my job.”

“Then why are you sending up mannequins that we aren’t able to defeat?”

“But you have…” he paused for a moment. “Darn it! I knew I forgot something! Here, take this.” He handed her a sword that he got from his pocket, even though it shouldn’t have fit inside it.

Twilight was stunned. “Why would you give me this? It’s a sword! It could chop off some pony’s head!”

The strange pony was apparently stretched for time. “I have no time to explain. Just give it to the leader if the group,” Twilight raised a hoof. “And before you ask who it is,” Twilight put it back down. He continued, “Just give it to all of them. Only the leader is able to use its powers to defeat the mannequins. Well, bye.” He disappeared in smoke again.

When Twilight was done wondering about this strange creature, she looked at the sword. This is pretty sharp… As she was about to raise it to look at it more closely, it slipped out of her hooves and headed straight for her other leg. (I know, she is supposed to be holding it with two hooves, but I need something.) Before she could react and pull it away, she knew that she was going to get sliced. She was going to flinch, but she wanted to see it for some reason. Milliseconds before it was going to hit her, a barrier surrounded the sword and protected it from smiting her, even though it still hurt, hitting her right on the kneecap. She made the same pain noise that Vinyl made earlier. She then picked back up and made sure she didn’t drop it this time.

She then went up to the group who was still arguing about a topic that seemed to make no sense. “The price of tea in China is too damn high!” said Lyra.

“What the heck is a China?” asked Bon-bon.

“A place full of… humans…” she hissed.

Twilight snapped one of her few nerves. She said through her clenched teeth, “Okay. I got this sword from the strange pony. One of you is the leader and is able to defeat the mannequins. All of you try; I don’t know who it is.”

So, condensing down into a single paragraph because this is useless and I’m lazy, here it is: Bon-bon, Lyra, Dr. Whooves, Octavia, and Vinyl all tried to use the sword on the mannequin, but failed. There was one left: Derpy. Not her; please, anypony but her. But she had no choice. Twilight reluctantly gave the sword to Derpy. It immediately lit up with extraordinary light.

“Ooh… pretty!” Derpy said.

Yep. I knew it. She is the leader. She snapped her second nerve silently.

“Now go attack that mannequin,” said Twilight. It took Derpy a moment because she was still staring at the glowing sword. But after she was snapped from her trance, she swung the sword right down the middle of the head, making the head split and fall in both directions. Everypony was awe-struck.

“That was… um… powerful, Derpy,” Dr. Whooves reacted.

“Woohoo!” Derpy exclaimed, “I did something good!”

“I’m not saying you did anything wrong,” Twilight said, “But now’s not the time to celebrate.” She looked around to the several other mannequins still staked around them. “Our job is not done yet.”

Derpy ran around the meadow-room, slicing and dicing every mannequin to shreds. Over time, she gained more grace and style when swinging, showing that she was mastering using the sword. When she got to the last mannequin, she attacked so fast and gracefully, it was in many pieces in only a few seconds, the same time as every other attack. It its remains, there was a key. Twilight picked it up. “That’s our queue... again.” She looked around and found a door. She opened it and walked inside, along with everypony else.

It was a plain room. It was a cube made of steel plates. There were air vents so they wouldn’t suffocate, a window on ground level with a door lead into it, and a window with that weird pony staring at them. Oh yeah, and a speaker in a ceiling corner.

“You appear to have mastered the sword,” said the weird pony. “Good. Now, all of the other ponies must master their elements.” He pulled out a list. “First is… the element of wubs.”

“That is obviously me,” said Vinyl. She went up and asked, “So, what do I have to destroy?”

The weirdo continued, “Everyone else go through the door.” He pointed to the door leading to the room. “You can view her from there.” After every pony went in, he disappeared again in smoke and reappeared on the ground. How does he do that?

He had a watch in his hand. “You know how the Elements of Harmony have necklaces and a weird crown-thing?” Everypony nodded. “Well, we have wrist watches and a sword.” He strapped on the watch and explained how to use it. “Press this button to use your portable bass cannon, press this one to make a Dubstep remix of anything, and press this one to pull out your sound system.” Vinyl didn’t know how to react to this. It was too awesome. He continued, “You must destroy these mannequins using any method you prefer, blah blah blah… I hate all of these lines I’m supposed to say. Just destroy these dumb mannequins and you win. Whatever.”

Vinyl destroyed the mannequins using the bass cannon, and then had Dubstep as the finale music. Whatever, I’m really lazy and getting bored, but there are a couple parts I still want to do. Then this happened for everypony else. Dr. Whooves is the Element of Time, and his watch can slow down time, speed it up, or just plain stop it. Bon-bon is the Element of Voices, and her watch allows her to instantly change her voice. This is pretty much near-useless.

Lyra went up as the Element of… Sitting? Really? Sigh… well, this is my only option, I guess.

“The Element of Sitting?!” Lyra yelled, “I am the Element of Sitting?! I sit down in a funky fashion for 10 seconds flat, and now it’s my element?! I couldn’t be the Element of Philosophy, or Imagination, or Humans, or something? What the heck!” Maybe she should have been the Element of Caps Lock…

The strange pony went up to Lyra and slapped her across the face. “It doesn’t matter what your element is! It just matters that you are one!”

Lyra felt embarrassed. “I’m sorry… I really overreacted…”

The strange pony sighed. “I don’t blame you. This is a dumb element. And also useless. But, this watch is not useless.” He gave her the watch. “Press the button.”

When she pressed it, a small object seemed to take particles of space and create a small, rectangular prism cut into four pieces, but attached. “And what is this? I have a useless element, and I going to have a useless ability also?”

Weirdo smiled. “Press the button again.”

Lyra rolled her eyes and pressed the button for a second time. The rectangle thing then started transforming. It split apart into 4 directions, but was still attached. Short ways, it curved into 2 u-shapes, both in the same direction. Then 4 strings connected between the two u’s. What was created was a perfect lyre. Lyra didn’t know how to react, just like everypony else. She strummed a note, and it created a visual note that hit the wall.

Before any questions were asked, Sir Weirdo the First of Equestria said, “That is supposed to happen. It is a powerful musical force that can cause high amounts of damage to any entity. The damage is higher if the note is more graceful.”

So, Lyra trained and stuff. I’m still pretty lazy.

Octavia went up as the Element of Music. She got a watch with a single button. “What does this do?” Octavia asked.

The strange pony answered, “It gives you a cello similar to Lyra’s lyre, but it doesn’t have as powerful music attack, but you get it already set up, unlike the lyre. And, like the lyre, it creates visual notes that damage depending on gracefulness”

Before Octavia could ask question number two, he strapped on the watch and pressed the button. Similar to the lyre, the cello appeared from nowhere. But this time, it was already set up, like Mister Weirdo said. Octavia tried strumming beautiful notes, and she did, but when it hit a mannequin, it seemed to do very little damage to it. “This is useless!” she yelled. She looked at the cello, then at the mannequin, then back. Then, in a quick, swift movement, she raised the cello above her head then slammed the cello on the mannequin’s head, instantly destroying both the head and the cello. She pressed the button again and got the cello back.

Weirdo (that’s his name, okay? Deal with it) was scared and curious. “I… um… don’t agree with your methods… but I guess they work.” He then walked away from the glass so he was no longer visible to the group.

Octavia walked out with a smirk on her face. Vinyl was the first to run up to her. “Dang, Tavi, I can’t believe you that in you! How do you keep in your anger?”

Octavia was still smiling. “That’s my trick: I’m always angry.” (Avengers reference!)

So, with all of their elements, they walked on to another room. Except one. Her name was Twilight Sparkle. As everypony else was walking into the next room, Derpy looked back to see her. When Derpy turned back, the rest of the pack also turned back. Derpy asked, “Why aren’t you coming with us?”

Twilight apparently snapped the third and final nerve earlier. “You’re all crazy! We are doomed! We have these enemies that may or may not be Changelings, we’ve lost almost every pony to these unknown enemies, but meanwhile, you all are having fun instead of being serious!”

Dr. Whooves said, “But Twilight-“

“No.” Twilight cut off. “We’re doomed, and I’m not going to be deemed responsible for it. I’m leaving. I’m going to take my chances against this enemy. Goodbye.” She walked through the door on the way back, and the next, then the next, then through the last door, and into the blizzard. The group was watching her the whole time.

“Who shoved a bee up her flank?” asked Vinyl.

“Really; what has gotten into her?” asked Octavia.

Then there was silence for a while.

“…she’s going to die, isn’t she?” asked Lyra.

“I assume so,” said Bon-bon.

“I hope nothing bad happens to her,” said Dr. Whooves. “She may be annoyed, but she doesn’t deserve anything bad to happen.”

“She left us. She left when we needed her most. She deserves a bad fate,” said… Derpy? Really? The sword must have gone to her head. Also, the other ponies were just awe-struck by this.

“D-did you just say that, Derpy?” asked Octavia.

“Yes. This is a war, not a battle. Casualties are required. This is required. If she left, so be it.” She spoke in a straight tone, unlike her normal self. Was there an invisible Discord hidden somewhere around there? Everypony just dealt with this strange Derpy and continued on to the next room. It was exactly like the other room. I mean, literally. They went on to the next room. Same thing. Next room. Again. When they looked back, it seemed as if they only passed to the next room instead of three. “He must be using some illusion… or, Pinkie Pie is around here and she’s using her gypsy magic on us.” They could almost hear her “Hey!” somewhere off in the distance.

“It doesn’t matter what or who is causing this,” said the “new” Derpy. “What does matter is how we’re going to stop this.” She paused for a moment. “Let’s do an experiment. Only one of us should go through the door, and everypony else looks at the exit door to see what happens.”

“Brilliant idea!” said Dr. Whooves. “This question may be a bit personal… but, why are you so different right now, Derpy?”

Derpy smiled. “This is the real me. That other version of me is the fun-loving, careless version of me. This is war. There is no time to waste.”

Bon-bon asked, “Then… why did you suddenly have a change of heart? You can’t just instantly change your personality like that.”

Derpy’s smile was wiped away. She sighed. “I have never told this story to anypony… except Twilight… but this may be the end of the world, and I also trust you all, so I guess I will tell my tale.”

(I don’t have any good transition, so I guess I will just say *enter thought bubble*) Also note that this story is being told by Derpy.

I was born in Canterlot. Strange, how I, Derpy Hooves, the fun-loving, crazy mare, was born in Canterlot, the city of majesty and property. That may explain future events. My parents, whom have names I know not of, loved me with their dearest hearts. Then, as a little filly, before I went to school, I had an “accident”, but I do not know what it is. I apparently had a concussion and was knocked out for multiple days.

From this point, I actually remember things. I woke up in the Canterlot hospital, lying in a bed with the best technology and doctors available making sure I don’t pass on. When I woke up, the first I saw were my parents, who were slightly sobbing. I smiled at them, and they apparently noticed me, but then… they started crying harder. I didn’t know what happened to me, or why they would they would cry harder. I looked at the doctors, and they looked at me with disgust.

I looked around for a mirror. When I found one, I looked at my face. I realized why that was their reaction. My eyes… were… what they are now. They were uneven… they were derp. I realized that they were messed up, but for some reason, my eyesight was still perfect. I couldn’t explain it. I knew I would never be normal again. I looked back to my mother. She was still crying. I felt tears coming to my eyes, also.

“I’m sorry, honey,” she said. “I’m… sorry…”

Then came in the last pony expected. It was Princess Celestia. I thought I should be happy; I realized I shouldn’t. “I’m here,” she said.

One of the doctors said with a sob, “Here she is. Take her.”

Then Princess Celestia took me by the hooves and dragged me out of the room. I was screaming, “Mommy! Daddy! Please help me!” I was crying harder than I ever had before.

When I was far out from the hospital, Princess Celestia spoke to me. “They are expecting to “get rid” of you. I am, but not in the way you think. I want you to leave. Fly, run, do whatever just to get away from here. The place I say you should go is Ponyville. You will be accepted there. Make sure no pony sees you. Go; I will claim your death. Now go, now!”

I knew she was right, and I knew my fate, so I ran. I would have flown, but my wings weren’t fully matured yet. I went down the mountain slowly. I ended up by Ponyville, but it was the middle of the night. I walked around town until I found a nice building to sleep against, and let my eyes close.

I woke up next morning with a pink pony leaning over me. She said, “Morning, lazy face!”

I got up and scratched my head and lied up to see that it was morning. I was still frowning from the night before. I was sore and tired still from last night. The pink pony pulled me up because I was moving so slowly. “Come on, slow poke! Come on where’s your parents- um…”

I began crying because of the reference to my parents. I missed them.

The pink pony tried her best to stop me from crying. “No, no, please, please don’t cry. Please stop. No, no, no, please stop.” I knew she was trying her best to make me stop, so I turned my crying into silent sobs. She was apparently thankful. “Thank you. I’m Pinkie Pie. What’s your name?”

I built up the energy to spit out, “Ditzy Doo.”

Pinkie Pie thought for a moment. “Ditzy Doo… Ditzy… are you new to town?” I nodded. “Ooh! Great! I’m going to throw you a party, and introduce you to all the other ponies in town, and…” She continued on with other random stuff. I’m not sure if she didn’t speak about my eyes because she didn’t notice them or she was being nice.

While I was thinking to myself, she apparently stopped talking and grabbed me and dragged me around town. I met every pony: Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, and others, including all of you. Before talking to me, she whispered to all of the ponies I was introduced to. She probably talked about my eyes, considering none talked about my eyes, though they stared at them.

Then, Pinkie Pie threw me a party, and every pony came. It was fun, but it just felt strange for reasons I couldn’t, and can’t, explain. At the party, I got my cutie mark. I think it was because Pinkie said I had a “bubbly personality”. When the party was over, I needed a place to stay. Twilight offered her place, so I accepted. I stayed there for a while. We talked, and we eventually came to trust each other. Eventually… she asked the question. I knew I could trust her, so I told her everything. She was sincere, and comforted me because I was crying while I told the story.

Eventually, I got a job as mail-pony. I got enough money to get my own house, so I got one and moved out. It was a big step in my life. Also, my friends, especially Pinkie Pie, gave me a nickname: Derpy Hooves. I actually chose to have that as my legal name, because I didn’t want to have any kind of relationship to my “parents”. I gave birth to Dinky, I got a promotion, and other stuff happened. But, I never actually became that crazy, fun-loving pony everypony thinks I am. I pretended to be, and apparently I did well, but I have kept my anger and secrets in for a long time. Now, this is the perfect time to unleash it; it will be for the good of us. But trust me: I have been through stuff you can’t imagine. I grew up in the Orphan School of Tough Learning.

*exit thought bubble*

Everypony showed their emotions: They all obviously had a tear in their eye, a lump in their throat, or a tear on their cheek. Derpy had no emotion on the outside, but was rolling in pain on the inside. She may be tough, but this story is painful. It causes not only mental, but also physical pain.

They heard the weird dude’s voice off in the distance. “Come on! I created this easily solvable test for you all, but you decide to have tea time!”

They were all annoyed by his lack of symphony, but they weren’t even sure if listened to any part of the story.

They decided to move on to the next room without discussion. This time, there was no illusion, just a giant mannequin. He spoke again, “You must use your ultimate attack to defeat this giant mannequin. It’s like the Elements of Harmony’s harmony laser thing, but this one uses watches and a sword. I’m not going to give you any instructions; you will be able to figure it out yourselves.”

Derpy said, “I want you all to focus on my sword. Then, concentrate the energy of your watches on the ruby near the hilt.” She had a strange amount of experience.

They did her commands; the laser-things hit the ruby and caused it to glow even brighter. Then, raising the blade above her head, she swung the sword right at the neck of the mannequin, causing not just the head to be cut off first, but also making it EXPLODE. Yes.

Apparently, Weirdo was amazed by this. “Wow… I did not know it had THAT much power!” He opened the next door using technology; in the room, there was no door on the other end. Yay, this chapter will end soon! Anyway, the group walked into the room, and they found Weirdo, standing alone. “Congratulations!” he said, “You have passed the tests! You are now officially ready to save Equestria! We can talk, or you can leave now. It’s your choice.”

Everypony said they want to leave… except one. No, not Derpy. Lyra. She was curious about Weirdo. “You… I know you’re not actually a pony.”

He took off his cloak for the first time reluctantly. He was white with golden hair. He had a strange staff as a cutie mark. “What are you talking about? I’m a pony like you.”

“No. I can tell you’re not officially a pony. You have a strange speech pattern and you also were very reluctant to take off that cloak. And, now that I look at your cutie mark, I know exactly who and what you are.” So-called Weirdo was obviously nervous. “You are Hermes, the human’s Greek messenger God.”

Hermes was surprised by this statement. “You’re… right…” His voice trailed off.

Lyra was happy. “See, Bon-bon? I told you learning about humans would pay off!” Bon-bon sighed.

Hermes continued, “You are apparently smart enough to know the special knowledge I’ve occurred, I’ll tell you this: You are fighting Ares, our God of War. He is a god. Do not underestimate him. This is all can say. Good-bye.” He disappeared in smoke again. This time, for good.

“This is a god we’re fighting,” Dr. Whooves said. “How shall we beat an immortal?”

Even Derpy was stumped. “I… I don’t know…”

Octavia said, “Well, we’ll learn later. It’s time we return to Ponyville.”

Everypony nodded. It was time to leave.

While they prepared to go, there was something else important going on.

*epic transition*

On the way back to Ponyville, Twilight did a lot of thinking. She thought about the group. She thought about the Elements of Awesomeness. She thought about their enemy. But, most of all, she thought about how the group was handling this. She overreacted. They weren’t doomed; they had hope. She thought that a group needed much order. But now, she realized that a group doesn’t need any order. There is not too much or too little. And they were not complete idiots. Derpy is a bit-um, different, but not an idiot. There was hope. She was the one that was leading to no hope.

Before she knew it, she was at Ponyville. She went straight to her house. She knocked on the door. “Hey Spike? I’m home. I’m not with the group, but…” Her voice trailed off. No respond.

I knew that dragon would never listen. “SPIKE! NO JOKES!” she yelled. Still no respond. She sighed. She went inside and lay in bed. I hope nothing bad happened to him. He usually listens. She then went to sleep, despite the sunlight streaking across her face.

No, she didn’t have a dream. But, she did wake up. She didn’t know why, but she had the sudden urge to go outside. She decided that her conscience is usually right, so she went outside. She looked towards the horizon. She felt something.

Over the horizon, a giant being came rising above it. It was enormous. It had the strength to destroy the world. Twilight was supposed to be scared; she wasn’t. She felt unnatural courage coming. But she knew her fate. Shoot me, fate. Hit me with your best shot. You may hit me, but even your steadiest shot will never hit them. They will overcome you. Don’t try to deny it; it shall happen. Now take your shot.

And that was Twilight’s last thought.