God, The Devil and Sunset Take A Equestrian Tour

by Aku

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 3997

Sunset has a problem. Two people she has never meet before have come up to her claiming to be God and The Devil. She is inclined to believe them. Now she has to take them on a tour of Equestria or risk the possible destruction of her home world.

Sunset has a problem. Two people she has never meet before have come up to her claiming to be God and The Devil. She is inclined to believe them. Now she has to take them on a tour of Equestria to show them it's worth or risk the possible destruction of her home world. And all because one unicorn a thousand years ago decided to make Earth his dumping ground.

God dammit Starswirl.

A Crossover with God, The Devil and Bob.
Please do not take this too seriously.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-20 06:52:27 UTC

God Drinks Coke, The Devil Sips Pepsei, And Sunset Swallows Disbelief .

"I don't know how he can be late, he's supposed to be all knowing, you'd think keeping track of time would be child's play!" A tall lanky blonde haired man whined, tapping a cloven hoof impatiently as he stood besides a stall, out of the way of all the swap meet goers going about.  He wore a black jacket with a red shirt underneath, along with some black slacks. "And it's not like I want to be here. Honestly, he always chooses the oddest places to meet."

"You know," A mans voice addressed the blond man. He was older than the blond by a obvious degree, having a head of white hair and matching beard. He carried a large bag at his side and had a pin on his sky blue shirt. "You really need to loosen up, Lucifer. If you we're tired of waiting for me you could have checked out some of the stalls. I would have found you eventually. They have some really neat things here." The man reached into a bag at his side, pulling out a old space food snack pack. "You know they have those space food packs? I have been looking every where for these!"

Lucifer crossed his arms, "Is that why you're late? Because you were picking up snacks?"

"I'm late?" He asked nonplused, "I had no idea. I guess I lost track of time." He began walking, Lucifer walking beside him.

"Oh don't give me that. You're God, you don't just 'lose track of time'." He quoted mockingly. The two walked past a couple with their child, as they walked over Lucifer popped the child's balloon with one of his horns, which were almost completely concealed by his slick blonde hair.

God sighed, "Fine, I was late a few minutes because I wanted to check out a few stalls. Are you happy?"

"Not particularly, no." The Devil replied, folding his arms. "Though I suppose I am content I got a straight answer instead of some cryptic saying or some other hogwash." Lucifer shot God a look. "So why here of all places? Your not going to spring some false promise of the destruction of the human race again, are you? Because I absolutely can not stand to have my hopes crushed again." He shot his companion a accusing stare. "I mean first it was the flood and then that thing with Bob." He placed a hand over his forehead dramatically, " I don't think I can take another."

God rolled his eyes behind his glasses at The Devil's antics and crossed his arms. "Your never going to let that flood thing go, are you?"

"No, no I'm not." The Devil smirked. "Though I will let the thing with Bob drop if you tell me why you insisted our weekly get together was held here."

"Besides all the wonderful things they have for sale?" God questioned as they walked past a man selling all manor of religious knick-knacks.

"I hardly see anything of value here," Lucifer began, before his eye's were caught by what appeared to be a miniature guillotine that a woman was using to cut carrots as a demonstration for a potential buyer, "Well, except maybe that. Excuse me for a moment." Without waiting for God to answer one way or the other, the dark prince made his way over to the woman. After a rather quick exchange, in which no money was exchanged, the Lord of Hell made his way back with a small parcel under his arms.

"I hope you didn't steal that." God said evenly.

Lucifer rolled his eye's, "Give me some credit. I wouldn't do something so low." He smirked, "I just haggled her down to a price I liked better than the hundred and fifty she wanted for this little beauty, free, if you're curious. I think it will look lovely on my desk, don't you?"

God shrugged, "I suppose it might. You'd have to move your pictures of Robert Downey Jr. and Allen Cumming though."

"Hmm, your right." The Devil mused as he stroked his goatee, "Oh well, I'll just get Smeck to re organize it until I have a spot. Now, why are we here?" They came up to a small food stall with a few tables spread about. Most of the tables were empty save for one near the back that had a teenage girl with vibrant red and yellow hair sitting at it, absentmindedly sipping from a soda.

The Devil looked surprised, "Her? What's so special about her?" As far as he could tell it was just another teenager, he didn't know everyone off the top of his head like God did, he has a tablet for that.

"You don't recognize her? She's that girl that turned into a demon a month or two ago."

Lucifer's eye's widened. "Oh it's her." He mumbled. "What is she doing here? I thought she would be doing prison time for her rather destructive outburst."

"Apparently a couple of friends managed to convince the principal to sweep everything under the rug."

The dark prince raised a brow. "She has friends? Last time I pulled up her information it said she was a friendless megalomaniac from that little pocket dimension you were working on a few millenniums ago." He thought for a moment, "Wasn't that the one you shoved all those 'mythological' creatures into after they failed to properly integrate with humans?"

God hummed a little, to anyone else it would have seemed like nothing more than a way to make time before he answered, to mull over his response, but to Lucifer it was clear that God was annoyed. And that rarely ended well.

"I'll take that as a yes." Lucifer rubbed his hands together, "So what are we here for? Devine justice? Tasking her  with an insane quest that will break her spirit as a means of repentance? Smite her?" His face brightened, "Oh please say your going to smite her. It's been so long since you've dished out a good smite."

"We're going the Bob route."

The Devil slumped over in disappointment, "Oh not the Bob route. You promised …"

"It's not the human race this time." God interrupted. "It's Equestria. They have been giving me too many headaches recently. Do you know how annoying it is to rewrite existence to allow the magic of friendship to exist on Earth, and then limit it to only seven individuals?"

"No, I can't say I do."

"Very. And then there's all the baddies they have dumped here, it's just getting to be too much. So I'm going to allow Sunset here to persuade me away from simply doing away with Equestria to save me from any future headaches." He began walking towards the unsuspecting girl. "Besides, I figured we could use a vacation."

The Devil brightened, "I like the sound of that."

Over at the table Sunset was idly drinking her soda, which had gone flat and grown warm some time ago. She had had plans with the girls to meet here an hour ago, but for one reason or another the others had had to cancel.

First had been Pinkie, who had been called in to cover for the Cakes since  Pound Cake had to be rushed to the hospital after being stung by a bee. Then AJ had called saying she had to stay on the farm for some reason or another, something about fruit bats? Rainbow texted saying she was grounded after accidentally sending a soccer ball through a window. After that Rarity had called claiming to be sick, and from the sound of it, it wasn't likely that she would be feeling better for a while. Fluttershy was over at Rarity's trying to help their poor friend feel better.

The calls had all come in roughly ten minute intervals of each other, leaving Sunset feeling rather put out. She had arrived early and bought everyone a drink before the calls came, and so had been spending the last twenty minutes slowly drinking all the soda she had bought.

It was as she was working on the last one, a strawberry Fanta, Pinkies favorite, when an older gentlemen sat down abruptly next to her. Which was weird considering there we're plenty of other seats.

"Hi?" She greeted uncertainly.

"Hi there," He began joyfully, "I'm God." Another man, younger than the first, sat across from them. "And this is the Evil One."

The Devil waved in greeting.

Sunset looked at the two, saw the completely serious looks on their faces, and decided now would be a great time to leave. She wanted nothing to do with these two loons. God and the Devil? Really?

"Well," She began slowly, "It was nice meeting you but I, uh, have places to be. Bye." She turned to continue walking away from the two only to run into the self-proclaimed 'God'. "How did you. . ." Sunset looked back at where the man had been sitting and back to him in utter bafflement. There wasn't supposed to any magic in this world, well, excluding the magic of friendship she shared with her friends. But even then there were obvious signs, and this man did not display any of them.

The man sighed and took off his glasses. "Alright, I get it. You don't believe me."

The 'Devil' behind her snorted and muttered, "That's a shocker."

'God' sent the 'Devil' a sharp, pointed look. "So I suppose I'll just have to prove myself. Leave you with no doubts as to my identity." The man gained a thoughtful look. "But what to do that can't be explained away as some kind of equestrian magic or something similar." He mused, shocking the former unicorn.

How does he know about Equestria? Is he like the sirens?

"I got it!" He exclaimed joyfully, cutting off Sunsets train of thought.

"I hope it doesn't involve pulling egg's from my mouth again, does it?" The other man cut in, walking up from where he was sitting. "That was very unpleasant, let me tell you."

Sunset shivered a little, "That's not your proof, is it? Because honestly? That just sounds disgusting."

"No, no, no." He replied, putting his glasses back on, a rather smug look on his face. "Nothing like that."

"Then what is it?" Sunset inquired, curious. This man may be crazy (thinking he's God, honestly) but he still knew about Equestria and she was curious of what he was capable of. If for no other reason than it would give her a clue about what she and the girls could be up against if it turned out this guy was evil.

"Look up." He replied simply, nodding his head in the indicated direction.

"What?" Sunset asked incredulously.

"Look. Up. It's really rather simple instructions. Honestly, is this the best tutelage under a princess and public education can offer than I am afraid of your chances at success."  The man claiming to be the Devil replied snidely from her side. Deciding to ignore him, Sunset did as told, and looked up. And felt her jaw drop.

There, floating in the void of space, was the Earth in all it's glory.

"Beautiful, isn't it." The older man said next to her, using the same tone of voice Rarity uses when talking about a dress that she is particularly proud of. "And to think I was considering destroying it a few years ago, boy would I have regretted it."

"I still think you should have." The other man remarked darkly.

Sunset managed to tear her eye's away from the breathtaking view to look at the man, noticing she was on the moon for the first time. Well, consciously. "How?" She managed to ask after a moment. It was a lot to take in. After all, it wasn't everyday that you wound up standing on the moon after talking to a stranger at a swap meet.

"Because I'm God." And just like that they were back at the swap meet, as though they had never left. "Believe me now?"

Sunset fell back into a chair, to shocked to really say anything, and nodded. With out really noticing, she reached out and grabbed the soda she had been drinking earlier, only to spit it out in shock. It was ice cold.

"I thought you'd appreciate a cold drink, it is awfully hot out today." God said conversationally as he sat down next to her, clutching a bottle in his hand. The Devil took his former seat as well, holding a hand.

"Yeah, it is." Sunset muttered, still trying to come to terms that she was talking to God. God! Not a powerful and long-lived being like Celestia, but a actual, factual, deity. "So what are you drinking?" As soon as she said it, Sunset felt stupid. The first thing, okay well not the first first thing, she asks God is what he's drinking? This was just unbelievable.

God chuckled a little bit, before answering, "Coka-Cola. I love the stuff. It always hits just the right spot, and is always good. Not like that sugar water Lucifer drinks."

The Devil bristled at the insult. "I'll have you know Pepsei is a perfectly respectable drink! And it has actual flavor, unlike Coke which just drowns you with it's artificial sweetness."

God waved his hand dismissively, taking a drink from his Coke, "Please, you wouldn't know a good drink if it bit you in the ass."

The Devil put down his drink and made to retort, but Sunset cut him off. "So, not to be rude, but what do you want?" She smiled sheepishly as the two focused on her. "I mean, I doubt you came over just to say 'hi'. You must be a busy guy."

God put his drink down with a sigh and sat back into the blue plastic chair. "Here's the thing, I've been rather . . . upset lately with Equestria. So much so that I'm considering just scrapping the whole thing and being done with it."

"What!" Sunset yelped, shocked. "You can't just . . ."

God held up his left hand in a placating manner, "Hold on now, let me finish. Now as I was saying, I'm considering getting rid of Equestria, but I really rather not."

"Well that's a relief." Sunset sighed, this really was way to much to take in. "I mean, why would you want to destroy Equestria?"

The Devil snorted, "Who wouldn't want to destroy that retched place? You know I sent this kid ruler over there, Luna I think it was, a birthday present roughly a thousand years ago, their time, and she never sent me a thank you card? How rude. I mean if that's the standards their royals hold what hope does the country have?"

"Ignore him, he tends to take offence to every little small thing." God said dismissively.

"I beg your pardon, I do not take offence that easily." The Devil said, offended.

"Anyway, I do have my reasons, and I will tell you. Just not now, I don't want to have to repeat myself when we meet with Celestia later. But for now I'll say this: Equestria has one last chance to prove itself to me or I'm going to wipe it from existence."

God Walks With The Sun, Lucifer Dances With The Moon and Sunset Hides In Twilight. Part 1.

"I think you broke her." Lucifer commented casually as he finished his soda. The three we're standing in front of the portal located at the local high school, and had been for a while.

"I'm sure she's fine." God replied, cleaning his glasses with his shirt.

"She hasn't moved in ten minutes. I don't think I've even seen her blink." The Devil finished his soda, his third since meeting Sunset. Shaking the can to insure it was truly empty, the dark prince then proceeded to toss his empty can over his shoulder, where it landed a good ten feet from the trash can.

"She's just trying to come to terms with having to go back home after all that unpleasantness. Actually," God began, placing his glasses back onto his face, "She kind of reminds me of you."

Lucifer was taken aback. "What? I'm nothing like her!"

Before God could respond, Sunset seemed to snap out of her trance.

"This is really happening, isn't it?" She asked, meekly. She had been standing still for the past few minutes, hoping to (ironically) god that she was in some kind of dream, or had a heat stroke, or something, and that in those minutes of inactivity she would come to her senses. But nothing had changed.

"Yup!" God rather cheerfully replied.

"God," Sunset began slowly, turning to the all powerful man beside her, "I don't know if I can do this."

God raised an eyebrow, "What? Go back to Equestria? It can't be that hard, all you have to do is step through the portal."

"No, not that!" Sunset snapped, before immediately looking sorry, "Sorry, it's just... I don't know if I can face Celestia again after all I've done. I know Twilight says all is forgiven, but, I don't know if that's true. What if Celestia is still mad at me?"

Lucifer let out a amused snort, "Of course she hasn't forgiven you." Sunset sent the evil one a worried look, which just made his smile grow. "You ran away, breaking her heart." The Devil began to slowly approach Sunset, "You swore to only return to dethrone her, nearly killed her student, brainwashed hundreds of innocents, stole a national treasure and injured ten guards. That's not to mention the priceless artifacts you broke or stole upon your return, and the forbidden tomes you studied." The Devil circled Sunset slowly as he spoke, his words felt as though they were striking at Sunsets very soul. The fact that everything he said was true just made it worse.  Sunset slowly shrunk into herself. "In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if she didn't execute you on the spot."

Sunset shook her head in denial. "The Princess wouldn't do that." She meant to say it firmly, but it came out weak, unsure. "She's kind and fair. She would never kill someone, she's not like that."

"Then why are you afraid of her?" Lucifer countered, smirking.

"I'm not afraid of her!" Sunset exclaimed, staring defiantly at The Devil.

Satan scoffed, "Please, you we're shaking like a leaf a moment ago."

"I'm not afraid of her." Sunset said once more, "I'm afraid that she'll be disappointed in me."

"Oh the horror," The Devil began mockingly, "Your old teacher may be disappointed in her treacheries student." He sneered, "You have more than that to worry about, child."

Sunset stared into the eyes of the ultimate evil, and was forced to look away. As her eyes were diverted, she missed the thoughtful frown on Lucifers face.

The Lord Almighty cleared his throat, drawing the attention of two. "If your done with your back and forth," He began, a small frown on his face, "I would like to get this show on the road. That is," He began, settling his all seeing eyes on Sunset, "If you have decided to come along. If not, I can save us all a whole lot of trouble and end Equestria now."

Sunset gulped as God began to grow (he prefers to wipe out and create planets and realities while being huge, gave it all a more nostalgic feel), "No need for that!" She exclaimed, waving her hands to help emphasize. "I'm coming along."

God smiled as he shrunk, "Wonderful! Now just let me open the portal and we can be on our way." God strolled over to the statue and, with the hand that wasn't holding his bag, knocked on the surface of the portal, causing the surface to ripple. God stepped back and gestured towards the now active portal, "Ladies first."

Sunset slowly approach the portal, before glancing at God who was calmly leaning against it. "See you on the other side."

The first thing Sunset noticed when she arrived on the opposite side of the portal was that, contrary to her expectations, she was not a pony. The second was that her face was on a collision course with a crystal floor.

"Oh, that looks like it hurt." The Devils haughty voice called from the portal, just before the Dark Prince strolled out.

All around Equestria everything seemed to grow worse. The world seemed to loose its luster, negative emotions became more pronounced, and monsters grew bolder. For a single moment, the entirety of existence was overcome with pure evil.

Then it was all back to normal, if not a smidgen better, as God stepped through the portal, taking in the Princess of Friendships abode.

"Not bad," God mussed as he walked over to the fallen Sunset, helping her back to her feet, "could stand to be a bit less gaudy."

"A bit?" The Devil snorted.

"Well alright, a lot. I was just trying to be nice about it."

Sunset took Gods hand, "What happened? Why am I still human?" She let go of Gods hand with a smile of gratitude.

God raised a brow, "What's wrong with being human? You spend most of your time being human if I recall correctly."

"There's nothing wrong with being human, I just sort of, you know, expected to be a pony." Sunset didn't look directly at God, instead finding the wall behind him incredibly fascinating. "I was actually looking forward to it, if I'm honest."

God sighed, here he was trying to be nice and not have her go through a annoying transformation, and here she was complaining about not going through said transformation. He knew why, he knew everything after all, so he really couldn't blame her. She was a pony first, human second. So naturally, being in the land of her birth she would want to be a pony.

"Alright, if it means that much to you, you can be a pony. Just don't expect to be going back and forth, alright?"

Sunset just nodded her little pony head happily, and probably would have gave her thanks verbally, if a voice she hadn't heard (in this world) in many years hadn't called out to her.

"Sunset Shimmer?"

Turning to face the door, Sunset saw the last pony she expected to see this soon upon returning to Equestria. Standing in the door way with a shocked expression on her face was Princess Celestia. Standing next to her were her fellow princesses, with looks of either shock or confusion on their faces.

Taking a few steps back, Sunset Shimmer stood awkwardly between God and Lucifer, trying her best not to give into the urge to dive back through the portal as she stood in front of her former teacher.

"Um, hi Princess Celestia." Sunset said, voice shaking. "It's been a while hasn't it?"

Celestia shuffled in her spot, not looking directly at her former student. "Indeed it has, Sunset. How are things?" She asked awkwardly.

"Things are good." Sunset replied just as awkwardly, pawing at the crystal floor. "How are things for you?"

"Good."

Everyone that wasn't God or Lucifer just stood around awkwardly for several seconds. (God and Lucifer were busy having a whispered conversation that really doesn't concern anyone but themselves, but is going to be relevant later in the story, so I'm letting you know it is happening.)

God decided to speak up, seeing as no one else was willing or wanting, "Excuse me?" Celestia's head snapped over to look at God, glad to have a excuse to look away from her former student.

"Yes?"

"Do you think we can possibly move this-" he gestured to everyone just standing about, "to a room that's a tad larger? I don't mean to be rude, but it is awfully crowded in here."